03x19 - Most Free and Bounteous

[bunniefuu]

I took out a loan.
It was a private arrangement.

With who?

Gary Savage.

Were you ever gonna tell me?

If you are in the sh*t
because of me, I need to know.

OK. I'm not going to lie to you,
all right. Things aren't good.

Mum's debt's more important.

It's not an issue anymore.
Why?

She came to see me.

My terms are — a share
of the business;

there is to be nothing dodgy;
and everything has to be run by me.

I wouldn't expect anything less.

PUMPING MUSIC, CHEERING

Waa-haa-haa! Yeah!

You see how free the piss is?
Yeah.

Unbelievably free. Gonna take
a group effort to deal to this tab.

Where's Munter?

He's at a tangi on the East Cape.

Yeah, I reckon he's just hiding, eh.
Cos of the freaky undies.

He's responsible.

Yeah, and you.
No, not me.

You wore them.
Yeah, well, so did you.

I don't care.

Hi, everyone.

Thanks for coming.

I just want to say that Hoochie Mama
has always been about having
something for everyone,

but tonight that is totally true,
so I'm so stoked to introduce to
you our new range — Hoochie Daddy!

Yeah! Whoo!

(LAUGHS)

ALL LAUGH

HELLO SAILOR'S 'GUTTER BLACK'

♪ Lying in the gutter,

♪ I cut the cord from my mother.

♪ She pat me on the head and said,

♪ 'Go to sea, boy.
Get to sea, man.'

♪ My luck in the gutter black.

♪ I guess I'm running back...

♪ ...to you.

♪ You in my brain.
You in my heart. ♪

Gary. Thank you so much.

Well, it was your idea, Kasey.

Yeah, but we couldn't have
done this without you.

I mean, you gotta wonder about
a guy like Gary wanting to get
into chicks' knickers.

Sure do.

And men's.
Maybe he's bent.

He's bent alright,
just not bent in that way.

So we only have three sizes —
large, larger and largest.

Smart thinking.

About time you two ladies met.
Cheryl, this is Tanya.

Hi.
I think your stuff is great.

Thanks.
Can you do me a favour,
love, and grab me another?

So, friend of yours?

Tanya? My accountant. I told
you she was a miracle worker.

She should take over
the Hoochie books.

I do the Hoochie books.

I know. But it sucks up too much of
your time. You should be out on the
front line. It's a good idea, yeah

It's a shame you
can't drink, eh, cos—

...the piss is unbelievably free.

Got it. Can I have a juice?

[ You're really munted, eh?

[ There's not much else
I can do with my life.

Hey, um, you know the model with
that black Love Sock? He's quite
rootable, eh?

I am way too big for
that kind of crap.

Not for you, dummy. For me.

I thought you were celibate.

Why did I say that again?

Fear the freeness.

What the f*ck?

I said fear the—

Hey, Van.
Kasey!

Isn't this awesome?

What do you think
Munter would think?

Oh, he'd be stoked.

Yeah.

What about Gary?

I know. Yeah, wow.

What do you know?

Gary is so what Hoochie needed
to take us to the next level.
And he loves my creative flow.

And guess what? He supports us
so much he's wearing one tonight.

One what?
A Love Sock.

How do you know?
He told me.

Good.
Hey, beautiful,
come and do some business.

Or you could stay here... with me.

Why would I want to do that?

Cos, you know, it's what
Munter would do if he was here.

Yeah, but he's not here.

But Kase!

Hi.

[ End up all right?

Left the diehards to it.

What's up?
Nothing.

Looks like a whole heap of nothing.

Bloody Gary. He wants his
accountant to take over my books.

Right.
If he wants a scrap, he'll get one.

Well, he is the major
shareholder — grand's worth.

I made my terms completely
clear. I'm in charge.

Come on, Cheryl.
You're not that blonde.

I didn't have a bloody choice.

f*ck, you want my sympathy about
this? You didn't even discuss it.

I had my reasons.

I just— I just wanted it sorted.

It was my bloody legal bill.

It's done now, OK?

It's— It's done.

It's over.

Look, I know you think he's dodgy.

I don't think, I know.

But I can handle this.

Sure.

You can.

Yeah.

I'd rather handle you.

(CHUCKLES)

How's that for handling?

That's all right.

WOMAN LAUGHS

WOMAN: Oh, you are awesome.

Kasey.
Van, I'm busy. It's business.

So, Gary.

What about a Love Sock for dogs?
Mmm.

What about Munter?

People spend heaps
on their pets.

A Hoochie Poochie range?

What about Munter?

Go for it, Kasey.

I love your creative flow.

What about Munter?!

I'm never drinking ever again.

Yeah.

Me either. Not for ages.

Hey, Pascalle? ]

What?

Do you reckon a chick like Kasey,
who's engaged to an amazing guy
like Munter,

could ever look at someone else.

Mmm, she could.

But she's engaged.

Yeah, but she's also slutty.

She's not really.

Who's the guy?

Gary.
Gary Savage would never
be interested in Kasey.

Why not? ]

Because he's rich, and he's tall,
and he's handsome, and she is...

Engaged.
I was gonna say trashy.

In my dream, he pashed her.

She pashed him back.

You were there?

Yeah, I was watching, but
they were really going for it,

full tongue-diving and
playing tonsil hockey, bro.

Ew. Don't.

If I hadn't woken up, who
knows what might have happened.

I think I'm gonna spew.

Yeah, it's bad, all right.

No, I mean, I think I'm really gonna
spew, and it's gonna be tequila and
oats and bran. Where are you goin?

You made me feel sick.

No, you made me feel sick
first. Go puke in the sink.

You always open up?
Mm-hm.

And you're sure no one is here?

I'm the only one with the code.

And the scream this thing makes
when it goes off is unbelievable.

No sensors in here?

It's a stairwell. What's
to steal in a stairwell?

Jesus Christ!

Ted West actually.

How the hell did you get in here?

There's a lot to be said for
pressure plates and window sensors.

And a new safe wouldn't go amiss.

Cracked it in . . Not my personal
best, but enough to b*at the fleet.

OK, I'm impressed.

So do you want to
move on that quote?

Do you guys deal in
more... personal work?

Such as?
My wife. She's been going out a lot
lately — book clubs, supposedly.

Playing fast and loose, is she?

Not really my line of work.

'Course we'll do it.

A man's marriage should be as secure
as his castle — or his office.

It's just a suspicion,
but it's important to me.

If she's got her knickers about her
ankles, we'll catch her — don't you
worry.

Oh.

Ooh, Cheryl, you will
never guess what I just found.

If anyone turns up wanting this
stuff, tell them to bugger off.

It's just filey stuff.
Check this out.

That 'filey stuff' is our accounts.
And it's staying that way.

Why are you all spazzy?
I'm not.

I mean, bookkeeping has got to be
the most boring crap on the planet.

I like that crap.

But with more time we can do more
parties. We can make more money.

Taranaki and Palmy North?
Believe me, the crap's winning out.

We don't actually have to go there.

What are you talking about?

Well, you know. Gary's idea about...
What?

About doing parties that
we don't actually do.
Didn't Gary explain it to you?

Hold on a minute.

Gary wants us to do
parties that don't happen?

I don't really understand, but he
said it would mean a bonus, so I got
pretty turned on.

When did this happen?

I was just telling him about my
wedding and how I run the parties.

They're just parties that aren't.

Cheryl, you know things have been
really really tight for me.

I mean, we couldn't even afford
an engagement party or a ring.

Yeah, Gary — it's me, Cheryl.
Yeah, that'd be good.

With this bonus I could have my
dream wedding at the Falcon Crest.

No, no, no. Buggered if I'm coming
all the way up there. You come down
here. Yep, thanks, see ya then.

Please don't screw this up for
me, Cheryl. I so need that money.

Another Ted West special lands the
contract, but not the one we wanted.

Do a good job on this, the security
stuff is in the bag. Tide's out
here, sunshine.

You think I want to
be on perv patrol?

Peace of mind I believe it's called.

Spying on people's love
lives? It's sh*t work.

'Course you'd be a defender
of shafting other men's wives.

You condemned us to long
nights, burgers and boredom.

Pointing binoculars at semi-clad
women. What's so bad about that?

We had a deal. Everything was to be
run past me. Not Kasey. Not anyone
else.

I was just getting a feel for
the business — parties and so forth.

Don't f*ck with me, Gary.

I'm not, Cheryl.

Look, I know why you want your
accountant all over my books.

Why's that?

Spot of washing. Pretend to have
parties, cash orders that don't
exist, expenses.

Is that right?
It's called laundering.

I know all about it, cos I used
to do that sh*t for a living.

You're a bit of an expert, then?

Not any more. So, come on, what is
it? dr*gs? Container-load of hot
cellphones?

You really wanna know?
I really wanna know.

You ain't gonna like it. Tax.
Tax?

Mm-hm.

I'm in business to make money.
But when I make a profit, the
government want a third. For what?

Hospitals — fair enough.
Roads? Only decent ones I
see are the ones I build.

What's this got to do with us?

I've poured a bit of
money in, you'd agree? ]
Yep.

Now, I can write some of that off,
but I've still got a bit extra. I'd
like to find a way to hang on to it

So you want to filter your
tax money back through my books?

The way I see it Cheryl,
it's my money.

Too simple.

Well, that's always
the trick with a good idea.

It's real money, Cheryl, and instead
of giving it away, it comes back to
me and Kasey and you.

But you're right.

I did the deal with you,
so it's your decision.

GROANS: Oh, f*ck.

So do you think if I dreamed it,
then that means it's true?

Dreams aren't real, Van.

Sometimes I have ones where I need
to find a toilet to take a piss,

and that usually means I need to
find a toilet to take a piss.

No, it couldn't happen. OK.
Gary could not be that desperate.

But maybe you should call Munter.

I don't want to worry him.

True.

Her and Gary — they're
just working together?
Mmm.

Yeah. And she's really into
all the wedding stuff, eh?

Yeah, and every time she looks at
that ring on her finger, she'll
think of Munter.

Well, nah, she won't.

What? So she is a slut?

Well, nah. She can't look at a ring
on her finger, cos she hasn't got
one. A ring, I mean, not a finger.

Munter didn't get her a ring?

No, he couldn't afford it.

Is he mental?

They were saving for the wedding.

If he's not careful,
there won't be one,

cos she'll flash her tits at Gary.

But you said that she
wouldn't — he wouldn't.

There are no guarantees here, Van.
For some women, men are like shoes.

What? They want to stand on them?

No.

It doesn't matter how many they
have, they just always want more.
What a man-hog!

Have you got any money?

Yeah, maybe. Why?

You need to do something.

Actually, Pascalle, I have been
doing something. I've been trying.

Try harder.
What are you f*cking doing?

Come on. We're gonna go get
Kasey completely engaged.

Coffee?
Brought me own.

Right. Five women, two men
entered that house.

Judging by their attire and general
dowdiness I'd say it was definitely—

An orgy.

A book club.

Photos of Colin's wife.

Bit of a looker, is she?

Blonde hair, trench coat.

And bugger all under it.

Yeah, in your dreams, old fella.

There's frilly stuff on these
frocks. I thought leather.

As if.

White leather's nice.

It's my wedding.

What do you think of Falcon Crest?

Bloody expensive.

It's my dream.

Dreams are free. This isn't.

I didn't mean to go behind
your back, Cheryl. Honest.

Kase, I'm not pissed at you. It's—

If you guys are getting a bonus,
then how come I'm not getting one?

Rochelle.

I don't have a wedding to pay for,
but I have a kid and an Alsatian who
needs bladder surgery.

If it's dodgy, no way.

Lucky can't pee straight.
He's in a lot of pain.

If you say no to Gary, I say no too.
[ Oh, do you have to?

Cheryl knows about this stuff.
I'm behind her %.

I can pay for my
wedding another way.

What about Lucky?

He just got unlucky.

PEOPLE CHATTER AND LAUGH

Very tidy.

Get out of it, ya mongrel.

Who are you?! Why are
you following me?! Eh?

Bev!

Bev, it's me, Ted!

Ted?

Ted bloody West?

Hell of a grip you've
on ya there, Bev.

Hey?

How'd it go?

Kasey wants the full nine
yards and then some.

I meant Savage.

He wants to redistribute some
tax money through the business.

Hope you told him where to go.

It's just tax money.
Everybody does it.

[ Does what?
Tries not to pay the full whack.

Avoidance and evasion
are very different.

He's sunk a lot of
money into the business.

Hold on. You'd buy into this?

I don't want to fight, but you know
he's a prick, so don't even think
about it.

What do you think
I should do then?

[ You want to know?

Yeah cos I can't have this
argument every bloody day.

Here's what I think.

You cut your losses. You walk away.

It's my business.
Not if you let him take over.

You have no faith in me whatsoever?

A lot in you, and
none in Gary Savage.

OK. What about Kasey and
Rochelle? Where do they go?

They're grown-ups. They
can look after themselves.

You think I worked this hard for
nothing? That I'm some kind of
idiot?

If you run with this, IRD will be
taking you down, and Gary Savage
will walk away smelling of roses.

TED: She's definitely
up to something. ]

Cheryl...

Yes, indeedy, there's a lot more
going on there than we suspected.

So full steam ahead?

Um, yeah. When we can afford it.

A few more parties then.

That's just it, Gary.

I know I said I was keen, and
I would if I could, but I don't
think I can.

Right. You don't want
more money for less work?

I appreciate everything you've
done for me and the business,

but Cheryl and me, we've been
friends for ages, and I've got to
do whatever she decides. I'm sorry.

It's like I'm torn between two
lovers, and I feel really terrible.

Kasey, it's OK.

For real?
This shouldn't be your problem.

Oh God, you're so great.

Thank you.
You're amazing.

What's going on?

I was just going.

I'll see you, gorgeous.

Van.
Yep.

Was he?
Just going?

Well, yes — he just left!

What do you want, Van? ]

I'm here for Munter.

Cos he really likes you, Kase.

And I really like you too.

And...

me and Munts, we're really close.

You know.

We're so close that sometimes it's
almost like we're one person. And...

OK. I know you and Munter are best
friends, and you share everything.

And OK, maybe I've done this kind
of thing, once or twice, but, Van,
there are limits.

To what?
I'm not going to shag you.

Oh, that's not what I want!
No blow jobs either!

(WAILS) Ah! Kasey, no.

I got something for you — from
Munter. OK. He made me get it
for you. It's a present.

For me?
Yeah. Cos he misses you so much.

See?

Huh?

It's the ring he never bought you,
cos you guys were saving up.

How much did this cost?

It was, like, a grand.

Munter spent a grand on a ring?

Mm-hm. Cos he loves you, and
he's handsome and quite tall.

I can't believe he spent
a grand on a ring.

Well, we've only got a hundy, OK?

Mm-hm. This one's nice.

No, that is cheap and huckery.
We need something better.

This is for your sister?

No, Falani.

That's good, cos that would be
strange. Not strange in some
islands.

I could let you have that for $ ,
or you could have two for $ .

Done.

It's worth a grand. I mean, we did—
We got quite a good discount.

But we're meant to be saving.

And that, Kasey,
is what's important.

You and Munter getting married. OK.

Tell Munts that this is sweet.
OK.

But it's going to be pointless
if we can't get married at all.

Kasey.
No, Van. Stay out of this.
This is between me and Munts.

I don't know how this
is going to go yet.

Did she like the ring? ]

No, she didn't like
the ring. She hated it.

What kind of bitch is she? It was a
great ring. It was a tasteful ring.

She's talking about calling it off.

She doesn't really think she
has a chance with Gary, does she?

I don't know.

She so needs a slap.

He needs a slap.

Who are we slapping?

Kasey — man-hog.

How come she gets two guys when
other people are way more blonde,
attractive and single?

He's the one that needs the
slapping. Him and his rich-dude
tallness.

No, she does.

He does. I'm gonna go and see that
Gary and tell him you don't mess
with my mate's fiancee.

But hang on, if he had a real
girlfriend, you wouldn't have to.

You mean you?

Well, I don't mean fat preggy girl.

I thought you were a nun.

Yeah, but maybe this is
the sign I needed to move on.

Yeah, that's real nice,
but you don't have to.

No, no, no — for Munter, for you —

I will meet Gary.

He's already met you.

Yeah, but he hasn't met
this me — not 'available me'.

And it's better than v*olence.

If you say so.

So, if we're gonna
do this, I need money.

You want me to pay you to do Gary?

No, duh-brain!

New me, new clothes.

Do you want this to work or not?

Yeah.

I'll go and get my bag.

Kase.

Sorry, Cheryl.
She just came in here.

What the hell are you doing?

We need to get underway, and
there's a fair bit to tidy up here.

Really?

I've got everything I need.

Can you step the f*ck away, please?

Gary has a controlling interest.
He has a right to these accounts.

Not without my say, he doesn't.

Well, too bad.
So, if you don't mind.

I do mind.

Bet I can run faster than you.

We'll see.

sh*t.

(SCREAMS)

Do you want to pick that up?
(SCREAMS)

Do you? I've dealt with
lippier slags than you.

Ow!

Terms are the terms.
You tell Gary that.

You crazy bitch.

If he wants my books, he can come
down here and pick 'em up himself.

sh*t, Cheryl.

I think he'll get the message.

Code Red.

Here she comes.

[ Hardly innocent behaviour
for a married woman.

[ Well, maybe she's
working as a cleaner,

or the motelier is in the book club.

Hard to believe you called
yourself a detective.

Suspect entering unit .

[ As if I care.

She'll be getting it on
with a hunk of burning love.

What? You psychic now?

I'm going in for a closer look.
What?

Keep your camera at the ready.

No. Ted! Ted!

sh*t.

What are you doing?

Don't you go upstairs.

f*cking unbelievable.

Don't knock.

You f*ckin' old bastard.

Hey, mate. Cheryl around?

Wouldn't tell you if she was.

It's just business, Wayne.

Is that what you call it? She's not
interested in any of your schemes.

She might have her
own opinion on that.

Hear it from me.
She is a good woman,

and if you do anything to hurt her,
I'll bloody come after you.

Looks like we got off
on the wrong foot here.

Oh my God, it's him!

Yeah, bastard.

Can you stall him?
I'm not ready yet.

[ Hey, Van.

How's your mate, Munter?

Van! What the f*ck?

You can be as rich and tall as you
like, but find your own woman.

What?
Not Munter's. Cos he's a good guy,
the best, and he's quite tall!

You think I'm interested in Kasey?

Yeah. That's what I think.
That's absurd, Van.

She's not exactly my type, mate.

What is your type?

Are you saying there's something
wrong with my mate's fiancee?

All I'm saying—
Van, this is a bad idea.

Kasey is Munter's woman. Got it?

Yeah, I got it.

Good.

Well, that's really good. Cos she's
OK, but she's not really that
available.

I have no idea what brought this on,
Van. But your mate has nothing to
worry about. Nothing's going on. OK

Absolutely nothing.

Do you wanna come inside?

No, thanks.

I've got a certificate
in first aid.

Did you have to go and do that?

Yeah, I did it for
my mate — for Munter.

What about me?

Someone b*at me to it.

Van got it into his head I want to
run off into the sunset with Kasey.

That's after receiving an
earbashing from your boyfriend.
What about?

Oh, Cheryl, I get it. I'm not
the most popular guy in town. But
I'm not the f*cking Axis of Evil.

Brought these for you.

All my books.

Tanya's handiwork. It's better than
slugging it out in a wrestling pit.

Though, I'd probably buy a ticket.

Would you now?

I'll show you mine
if you show me yours.

Seems fair. And if
they don't stack up—

You want some ice on that?

Some ice in a glass would be better.

What are you f*cking playing at?

She wasn't having an affair,
but she sure as hell is now.

I don't bloody believe this.

Get any photos?

Are you mad? I don't want
to take photos of that!

'Fraid you might learn
something about romance?

You old bastard.

For your information, Bev and I have
met before — up at Tutaekuri Bay.

Magical time we had.

Me and her,... and Viv.

Have a cup of tea?

G 'n' T?

But I always preferred
Bev. Nicer rack.

Why the hell didn't you tell me?

Why should I?

What about the conflict of interest?

I don't have one.

What am I gonna say to the client —
'Sorry, mate, your wife was an angel
till my assistant shagged her'?

It's rare to get a second chance
with a woman like Bev.

Hoo-bloody-rah for you. But
what am I gonna say to Colin?

Don't say anything.

What?

If a wife has an affair, what
better person to do it with than
the private eye watching her?

You've gotta be bloody joking.

This is gold, this one. I keep on
the case, you keep invoicing!

I don't operate that way.

Oh, come on, Porky, we can
spin this out for months.

What, you think so?

So, she is having an affair?

Hit me. I can take it.

It would be unwise to
jump to conclusions.

Don't I pay you for conclusions?

Well, we do know for sure
she does attend a book club.

Seriously?
She does pottery and shiatsu.

Which is a form of—
Massage. Yeah. I know what it is.

You're saying that's all there is?

She's pursuing new interests.

As well she might.

Why waste more of your money?
Better we get going on the security
upgrade.

Bugger.
What?

To be honest I was hoping she was.

You wanted her to cheat on you?

I've been looking to move
on for a few years.

So why haven't you?

You know. Married too long to stay
together and too long to get
divorced.

You need your head read.

So when she started going out, you
thought, 'She's screwing around.'
Catch her out. Perfect excuse.

Well, that and the money.
What money?

It could get messy. I've been
ploughing greener pastures myself.

You can call me old fashioned,
but maybe you should tell her
like it is. Save on our fees.

You're clearly no bloody saint.

A woman scorned can make
a mess of your assets.

Colin, this is your wife.

The woman you put your trust into.

Are you going to tell her?

After years?

I don't know.

But I like your style.
Straight up. I appreciate that.

So when are you gonna get
me that security quote?

(SCOFFS)

Working for you?

She knows her stuff.

Well, she loves her work, just like
you. Cheryl, why would I want to
shaft you?

You could. It's called
tax evasion, avoidance.

Only if you get caught.

And even then you argue.

Jesus, Cheryl haven't
you worked hard?

Once or twice in my life.

Four kids, a damn good idea, and
what have you got to show for it?

Got my kids. Can't get rid of them.

Yeah, and that's important.
But here's my thing —

I'm in business to make money, but
what's the point if you can't share
it?

Kasey, the ladies that work here,
your kids — couldn't they do with
a bit extra?

You promise me you're on the level.

I swear it on
the grave of my mother.

You've done well, Cheryl. What
the f*ck is wrong with enjoying
it for once?

Hey, it's your business,
it's your decision.

Unless you need to run
this by anyone else.

All the lies and deceit.
He doesn't deserve her.

Let me finish the security upgrades,
and then you can shag yourself
senseless.

With who?

An angel I have forsaken. Hands
of a geisha. Breasts like little
cushions.

What?
Hi, all.

Working late?

Yeah, meeting with Gary.

Van, next time you decide to throw
a punch at my business partner,
can you get your facts straight?

You hit Gary? Why?!

Because he's an idiot!

It was a misunderstanding.
Pleased to hear that.

Still in business with him then?

I have had enough of the bad round
here. It's time things were good.

Yeah, idiot.

Oh, come on, you lot. Put a f*cking
smile on it. There's gonna be no
more scrapping, no more argy-bargy.

And as soon as Munter gets back, we
have a party for Kasey and Munter —
a proper engagement party, on me.

Aw, Cheryl!
Choice.

Is Gary coming?
Whoa.

You like it?

There's not much to it.

So clearly the nun thing's over.

When did nuns ever dress like this?

Some parallel universe where
religion means wearing no clothes.

I'm blonde, tall and available, and
he's not gonna be able to ignore it.

Amen to that.

f*ck, Cher, you're a miracle worker!

It's just onion dip.

No, Lucky came through his bladder
surgery — first piss on a car today.

That's great.
Thank you.

Baby!

Oh my God. That is
such a beautiful ring.

I know. It cost a grand.

Oh, but we got a pretty good
discount from Falani, eh.

[ Gary.

Lovebirds. Cash. It's a bit tacky,
but I didn't know what you needed.

[ Choice! Thanks.

Do your worst with it.

Thank you.

I'll get you a beer, bro.

Sorry about the biffo, bro.

Van, you're a good mate.

I'm so glad you guys made up.

Hey, uh, I gotta go out the back
and slap on some saussies.

You're guest of honour. I'll do it.

It's like he didn't even see me.

And there is so much to see.

I know, what is his problem?

Maybe you're out of practice.

Ted, you got a visitor.

Bev!

Have you met my partner in crime?
Not literally, of course.

Oh yes. Wayne.

Hi. Pleased to meet you.

I'll leave you to it, then.

Sorry, Ted. If I'd known
there was a party on—

Oh, don't be silly.

Thought I'd whip up a beer bong
for the kids. Lot of piss to sink.

That's resourceful of you.

To what do I owe the honour?

Colin woke up this morning and asked
for a divorce. Said he'd had enough.
Wasn't in love with me anymore.

I'm sorry for your loss.

I'm not.

Hell, we've been going through
the motions too many years.

Perhaps you'd like to stay. Going
to be a bit of a night. Drown your
sorrows.

I was hoping you'd say that.

LOUD ROCK MUSIC PLAYS

Cheryl.
Falani.

I ran out of wrapping paper,
so I left the box in the van.

Jesus, Falani.

Oh, well, get yourself a drink.

Oh, all right, then. Happy to.

Hey, Cheryl. Snarlers and steaks
here. Another batch on the go.

OK.

I could give you a hand if you want.

That's nice of you, Pascalle.

Must be really hot out
there by that barbie.

Mm, quite cold actually.

Oh well. I know heaps
of ways of keeping warm.

Yeah, well, if you go outside,
you might wanna put on a coat.

He just totally rejected
your tragic, blatant come-on.

Shut up!
Look, he's more interested
in Mum than you.

They're in business, dummy.

EERIE MUSIC

Cheryl?
Yeah, babe?

Can I have a word?
Yeah.

You wanna tell me what's going on?

It's called a party.

It feels like someone flicked a
switch, and I've gone back in time
to parties I used to raid here.

People are having a great time.
And who's paying for that?

I am.

How could you let
him do this to you?

Hey, I didn't let anyone do
anything. I make my own decisions.

And walking away was
not a f*cking option.

He's on the dodge.

He swears not. ]

Jesus, Cheryl.

Come on. Are people happy out there?
Are they having a good time?

Not the point.

I did what I had to, and
I'll make the best of it,

and if that means that I can help my
friends, my family, throw a f*cking
party,

what the hell's wrong with that?

What happened to you?
Nothing!

What I loved about you was you
rose above. You took a lifetime of
crooked sh*t and turned that round.

Well, nothing's changed.

You want to keep saying
that till you believe it?

Listen, I have no interest in Gary —
none whatsoever — if that's what
you're worried about.

Is that why he walks around like he
owns the place? I guess he does, in
a way.

Is that what this is about?

No, it's about you,

what I saw in you.

Right. So you only care about me
when I'm on the bones of my arse,
and I need rescuing? Is that it?

No. It's about principle.

Come on, Wayne.
You're not a cop anymore.
I know.

Is that what you want?
Do you wanna go back to that?

I can't.

I did this thing, I made this
deal for you, and for Jethro.

Jethro?

He had problems. Wayne, please,
can we just not talk about this now?

What? Is there a better time?

Kasey and Munter have a party
and the wedding they want.

They are happy. And that's all I
want, for the people I love to be
happy. For the people I love—

You used to want more.

I don't know how many
ways to say this to you.

I am not a criminal anymore,
and you're not a cop.

You guys have to come.
Munter's doing his speech.

We better go.

Yeah.

ALL CHEER

Hey. Um, I'd like to
thank you all for coming.

ALL CHEER

Me and Kase weren't gonna
have a party cos— cos, uh,

we're meant to be saving
up for our wedding,...

ALL CHEER

...but then, um, it's like tonight
just fell out of the sky. Yeah.

ALL CHEER

But that's the way
the universe works.

You know, if you have faith in
life and love and especially
a good woman,...

ALL CHEER

...then the universe provides.

ALL CHEER

Uh, but the most massive part
of me and Kase's universe

are the Wests.

ALL CHEER

And especially Cheryl West,...

ALL CHEER

...for doing all this for us.

It's just massive, eh?

ALL CHEER

Let's party man.

ALL CHEER, ROCK MUSIC PLAYS

sh*t. I'm the only person at this
party who can't get rat-faced.

How is that fair?

Are you going hunting?

Take care of yourself, Loretta.

Wayne?

ALL: One, two, three!

To Munter and Kasey!

ALL: To Munter and Kasey.

To the universe!

To the free piss!

ALL: One, two, three!

Mum, can you come with me?

MUSIC FADES

sh*t.