01x18 - Plague of Babies

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Invader Zim". Aired: March 30, 2001 – August 19, 2006.*
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Series centers on Zim a member of the extraterrestrial Irken species and the Irken Empire from the planet Irk.
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01x18 - Plague of Babies

Post by bunniefuu »

A-ha ha ha ha!

Aah!

Ha ha ha ha!

[screaming]

[Zim screams]

Aah!

Computer, repair bay.

After we fix the
voot cruiser, GIR,

I want to run a few tests on
your artificial intelligence chip.

It seems to be... bad.

I-- Aah!

Oh, no-o-o!

Hurry, GIR. The mission's
been compromised.

I think we've been
seen out of our disguises

by a human!

But Dib's seen us before

and he knows where we live.

Heh heh heh.

Dib.

No, this is different.

This is serious.

Aah!

Doo doo doo doo doo

GIR!

Oh, yeah.

Aah!

[laughing]

Yes, a spy in the top
window of that house.

Something must be done

before it gets to
the Earth authorities.

Who knows what--

Aww.

He's cute...

and sticky-looking.

Cute?

This is a serious
thr*at to our mission.

He's just a baby.

Hi, baby!

[squeaky breathing]

What are you doing?
It'll see you.

So?

You think it's not a thr*at?

As far as we know,
that's exactly what

it wants us to think, GIR.

I must find out what it knows.

[doorbell rings]

Yes?

I am the neighborhood
baby inspector.

I have come to inspect the baby.

Oh, goodness.
Inspect him for what?

Your resistance will be noted!

Where may I
interrogate the little one?

Well, what's wrong with Noogums?

He's always so well-behaved--

There's probably
nothing to worry about,

but we just want to be sure.

He's upstairs. I'll go get him.

Stay!

Due to the thr*at
of contamination,

I must speak with Noogums alone.

Oh, my.

Zim: And you must
be Noogums.

Cease the silent
act, sticky worm.

Your pathetic facade is as
transparent as the drool on your face.

What are you up to?

[coos]

[coos]

Tell me what you know.

I will not be...

Aah! What is that-- Argh-- stink?

It's some kind of
defense mechanism.

Oh, so powerful...

smell!

[gasps]

Aah! Aah!

[gagging]

[toys squeak]

[Zim gagging]

Aah!

Aah!

Zim: The human [gag]
infant is much stronger

than I [gag] suspected.

I'll have to use a higher
percentage of my brain skills

to outwit him.

[gagging]

Either that, or some
miracle of chance.

You were right about
him being harmless.

Perhaps I overestimated him

and underestimated--

[groans]

Duh.

Duh.

Computer: Reactivating.

GIR, get away from
that power amplifier!

OK.

I should worry less

about what a baby can do

and worry more about
the damage you can do.

Stay away from
the power amplifier,

it's sending out deadly
waves of stupidness.

[doorbell rings]

Hmm?

Aah! The doorbell!

But the security system
should have warned me

as soon as anyone
set foot in the perimeter.

[crickets chirping]

Computer, run a
diagnostic on the door--

Zim: What are you
babies doing here?

Get out! Shoo!

At least I know why
the alarm didn't go off,

you're too small to--

[deep voice] Seize the enemy!

What are you-- No!

Noogums, I should have known.

Don't call me by that name.

It is demeaning to a leader

of the proud and fierce
race of the Nuggoth

to be dubbed, Noogums.

What should I call you, then?

Shnookie!

Gorkspace Sergeant Shnookie.

I knew it.

Earth babies come from space.

No. Our people look
exactly like human babies,

but we didn't know that

when we landed here years ago.

It was our first information
gathering mission on this planet.


Everything was
going fine, until...


Report, Private Fooby.

You won't believe it, sir.

Shnookie, voice-over: Private Fooby
had found the human maternity ward.


We thought that
somehow the Earth m*llitary


was keeping our people hostage.

How could we have
known any better?


And then... disaster.

[no audio]

Shnookie, voice-over:
Fooby panicked

and hailed the mother ship,

calling for emergency rescue.

He gave the wrong coordinates.

Oh, ho ho ho-eee.

Aww.

Aww!

How'd you little
fellas get out here?

Shnookie, voice-over: They eventually
captured the entire landing party.


By the time we were left alone

long enough to call
the mother ship again,


it was out of range.

They left us here, stranded.

We had no choice but
to assume the identities


of the babies that had been
beamed aboard the ship.


It's been long years
since that terrible night.

What do you want with me?

Your ship.

We're going home.

You can't take
my ship. It's mine.

We'll tell the
humans all about you

if you resist us.

Computer, open the
entrance to storage room .

Get him. Eat his feet off!

[hissing]

Aah!

[panting]

Computer, take me down
to the voot cruiser repair bay.

[babies giggling]

The ship is mine, Noogums --

or Shmoogie, or
whatever your name is.

Shnookie: It's Shnookie!

It's Invader property.

You won't get your
filthy little nub hands on it.

[hissing]

[GIR beatboxing]

GIR!

Yes?

The babies are
inside the base, GIR.

They're after the voot cruiser.

I like babies.

I have to get the
cruiser out of here.

I only hope the
repairs are finished.

You hold the
babies off while I--

I'm gonna play with the babies!

Computer: Malfunction.

[babies giggling]

They're getting in,
GIR. Do something!

OK.

Whee-whoo!

Whee-aah!

Ha ha ha ha!

Babies.

Shnookie: We
will take your ship,

and for the trouble you caused,

we're going to
destroy your base,

leaving you stranded
here just like we were.

And we'll tell the
humans all about you.

Now, my minions,

from giganto baby!

Aah!

[roar]

[roar]

[hissing]

Hey, quit it.

Oh!

Whee-whoo!

[grunting]

Zim: The amplifier!

[roar]

Ya-ha ha ha!

A-ha!

Aah!

Doh!

[screaming]

[babies crying]

It worked.

Aw. I wanted to explode.

[muted expl*si*n]

[glass breaks]

Bye, baby!
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