04x06 - Where There's a Will...

[bunniefuu]

Mmm.

You know, Eve

I’ll let you in on
a little family secret.

Junior rarely treats us
to such charming company.

Oh, I can’t imagine junior

being hard up for dates.

Junior? Hell, no,
he’s wildly popular.

Way he spends money,
why shouldn’t he be?

Right, junior?

If you say so.

Spend, spend...

And pop will lend.

You see, junior has
a secret for getting rich.

Being born into
the right family.

Must we talk about money?

What should we talk about?

Your career?

You know, money...

Legitimizes everything,
doesn’t it?

Even bastards like you.

Wyley, put on some music.

Yes,
Mr. Ballentine.

Junior tells me...

You’re a dancer.

Yes, I dance.

So...

Show me your moves.

And maybe I’ll show you
a few of mine.

I’ll bet you can.

Your father’s going to give me

a tour of the house.

Mmm... not yet, wyley.

Please.

Like I said, junior.

A man without money...
Is a bow without an arrow.

Some people can’t play the hand
they’re dealt.

If they’re rich,
they don’t know what they have.

They’ll confuse rebellion
with self-destruction

and do themselves in
through excess.

If they’re poor,
they think winning the lottery

will make them
happy and complete.

Either way, they’re all hanging
out on the same block--

on the corner
of self and loathing.

There are families over there.

Where?

Families with children.

Children who have seen it all
on TV.

Where did you get all
this energy from anyway

after last night?

My circuits are back up, doc.

Now, can you explain that?

Wait a minute.

There’s something
I have to ask you.

You may not like this.

I’ve been putting it off.

You... enlisted in the marines.

You said,
"there’s nothing I hate more

"than getting dressed up
in a monkey suit

and smiling
for three hours."

Come on, I already agreed

I’d go to the benefit with you.

But I want you
at the Vandemeers’ wedding, too.

Why?

Because I’d have
more fun with you.

No, you wouldn’t.

Why’s that?

You operate better
not worrying about me.

That is an excuse.

That is a fact.

Why do you want me to go
to the Vandemeers’ anyway?

It’s not my scene.

Well, the police
softball game isn’t mine.

But I’d go if you asked.

Oh, yeah, but that,
that’s fun, you know?

Please?

Please?

I really need you to go with me.

Besides, many doctors
who helped save your life

will be there.

Oh, see.

You really want me to go?

Yeah.

All right, I’ll go.

Promise you won’t hate it?

I promise I won’t hate it.

I just think it’s a crime scene
where I’d rather be.

-triple one-zero.

What?

You were going to call
Donovan’s office

about ten minutes ago.

Ah, right.

Here, Lesley, thanks.

You got problems
on the home front?

No, no, no problems.

So why is your nose
getting really long?

It’s Gillian-- she wants me

to go to some yacht club benefit

and hobnob with all the phony
politically correct types.

That ain’t me, Sam.

Tell me.

Hey, I live in the real world.

Do I need this?

No, no, I don’t need this.

So, have you told this
to Gillian?

No.

Tactful. So, what’s
the benefit for?

A hospital, an MRI

Well...

That’s politically correct

not so phony.

Yeah, but...
I will feel like a phony.

I mean, why can’t she
just go alone?

Listen to me, you go.

You put on your social smile.

Be nice to all
the rich old ladies.

And... it won’t be so bad.

Yeah...
I already told her I’d go.

Good.

So, you’ll call Donovan now?

One more question.

Hmm?

Where can I rent a social smile?

Well...

I should be impressed.

But I’m not too surprised.

Now, why is that?

Because I already know

you have a nice, steady stroke.

Mmm.

Do I detect interest?

After all that exercise?

Let’s, uh...

Go check your return of serve.

You got it.

Now, I’m in charge.

Ooh.

Let’s see if you can go

three straight sets.

Ooh... what are you trying
to do? k*ll me?

No, baby...

I’m just going to give you
a taste of heaven.

I can’t, my heart, no, no.

Breathe, baby, breathe!

Breathe!

No!

Yes!

Yes!

Now, give it to me!

Oh, oh!

Oh!

Mr. Ballentine?

Sir?

It’s Mr. Abrams

calling from Chicago.

You asked me to let you know.

So, how was my father?

Fine, just fine.

I left him
with a smile on his face.

Does it turn you on?

Doing it with me and my father?

You bet.

You bitch.

Thank you so much.

Take care.

Benefactors?

Patients.

Patients? What are you
treating them for? Lockjaw?

Relax, one more hour,
and we are out of here.

This way.

What’s wrong?

There’s just somebody
I’d rather not see.

Too late.

Gillian!

You look radiant.

How are you, Steve?

Well, not bad, not bad.

holes
and a gall bladder today.

Steve Donitz, Chris Lorenzo.

Steve.

Lorenzo, sounds familiar.

What do you do?

Chris is my date.

Oh, well, that’s nice work,
if you can keep it.

I meant for a living.

I’m a cop.

No kidding!

Now, wait a minute.

You that guy Gillian
was working on

in theater one
a couple of months back?

That guy.

So, you two have a little
doctor-patient thing going?

Ooh, naughty, naughty.

Nice seeing you again, Steve.

Nice for you, too, Gilly

good to see you’re practicing
a little post-operative therapy.

You got a problem?

No, I don’t have a problem.

I think it’s admirable
Gillian takes personal interest

in all of her patients.

Of course, not all of them get
the same personal attention.

Anybody ever tell you
you’re a real jerk?

Chris, please.

Now, hold on.

Take it easy, Lorenzo.

Just engaging
in a little collegial humor.

Well, I don’t find it funny

so you back off!

Hey.

You had to do it--
let him get to you.

I won’t let him insult you.

I can take care of myself.

I didn’t need you
thumping your chest.

You act like I slugged the guy!

You made a scene out of nothing.

No, your doctor friend
made an embarrassing scene.

Yes, he’s a jerk,

but that doesn’t mean
you have to be one.

What are you doing?

I am taking a cab.

No, I drove you here,
I’ll drive you home.

You know, you were right.

You should never
have come to this.

It wasn’t my idea!

Liver temperature, degrees.

Advancing rigor mortis.

Okay, guys, I’m all done,
you can ship him.

Hold on here, wait a minute.

What have we here?

On second thought, you better
leave him on the bed, boys.

A Mickey mantle ’
for , Dol...?

, American Dol...?

Come on, Hector, we...

Hey, Hector,
listen to me closely.

We...

You...

Hector, I’m from Brooklyn,
did you forget that?

Yeah, what?

The coroner’s on line one
for you, captain.

Hey, Hector, hold on a second.

Yeah, go ahead.

She said she needed support.

A guy lays into her,
I give her the support she needs

she says I caused a scene.

You might have overreacted.

I didn’t p*stol-whip the guy.

I didn’t touch him.

I gave him a look,
I told him to back off.

You could have walked away.

I don’t believe this.

Christopher,
you asked my opinion.

I’m just saying
maybe you overreacted

because you felt
a little threatened.

By this guy, me, threatened?

Lorenzo, Lance, in here.

Uh, yeah, coming, cap.

Yeah?

Go over to
the Ballentine mansion.

Ballentine senior is dead--
heart att*ck.

A lesson for all of us.

Sic transit Gloria Mundi.

You can’t take it with you.

Any reason to think

he went out
ahead of schedule, captain?

The ME found
a used amyl nitrite capsule

next to the body.

Ah, popper.

Yeah, I can’t figure it.

It’s used to heighten
sexual pleasure.

I know what it’s used for.

He took a walk on the wild side.

Doesn’t make it m*rder.

Fine.

Then go there and prove
that it’s not, okay?

You’re still standing.

Go, go.

Hey, you collect
baseball cards, cap?

Uh, it’s my nephew.

Ten-year-old kid,
he’s visiting from New York.

Oh.

Yeah.

The guy from the card store
called back.

He says you can have the
Mickey mantle ’ for $ , .

Lucky nephew, huh?

I wouldn’t expect

either of you
to understand, okay?

Yeah, Hector.

Coroner said those were
ligature marks on the wrists.

He’s got amyl nitrite
in the nostrils.

This old guy went out
in a Blaze of glory.

I’d say he went
for one last hurrah

but that doesn’t make it m*rder.

Not unless you include

the female body
as a deadly w*apon.

Oh, see that, that...

That bothers you?

No, I’m just wondering

how you get intent,
if there was intent.

Wyley Phillips, sir,
you wanted to see me.

Wyley, you found the body?

Yes, sir, this morning.

When I brought Mr. Ballentine
his newspaper.

When was the last time
you saw him alive?

Yesterday afternoon, ma’am.

So he didn’t have dinner
last night?

No, Mr. Ballentine maintained
very irregular habits.

He would call me
if he wanted anything.

Who would he call if he...

If he wanted something
you couldn’t provide?

Sir, if I understand
your inference

I believe that Mr. Ballentine
was entertaining a young lady

yesterday afternoon.

Um, I also believe
the young lady

left in rather a hurry.

Hey!

What the hell’s going on?

I’m Sergeant Lorenzo, this is
my partner, Sergeant Lance.

Wyley, did you show them in?

Yes, sir.

Well, then show them out-- now.

Junior, wait.

Please, let the detectives
finish their job.

What job?

There’s no crime here.

Man d*ed of a heart att*ck.

Came as a big surprise
to all of us.

Nobody knew he had a heart.

Unless you’ve got
a warrant, get out.

Hey, junior, let’s go.

Wyley, would you make
some coffee for junior?

I’m Claire Ballentine,
junior’s cousin, Roland’s niece.

We can talk downstairs.

Well, after all

the poor boy’s been
under a lot of stress.

He just lost his dad and all.

Hmm.

Excuse me.

We’re here to ask you
some questions.

I’m not about to answer
a bunch of dumb questions

just because my old man’s pump
stopped functioning.

Junior, please.

Did you see a woman
leave the house

yesterday afternoon, junior?

As a matter of fact, I did.

The cleaning lady.

He’s not himself.

There’s been a lot of strain
between him and Roland lately.

What kind of strain?

Arguments, fights.

Junior’s lived in
Roland’s shadow his whole life.

Did you see this woman?

Yes, she was trash.

Things got worse

after junior brought that dancer
into the house.

This woman was
junior’s girlfriend

before she hooked up
with Roland?

Will you excuse me?

Sure.

I’m getting a weird
feeling about this woman.

You think he used her

to snuff out daddy dearest?

Crossed my mind, Sam.

I’ll talk to Ballentine’s
doctor about that.

Speaking of doctors...

Have you thought
about calling Gillian?

She can call me.

If she doesn’t, then what?

Well...

If you want to be close
in a relationship

both people got
to make adjustments.

I can only bend so far.

Rita Landers-- "dear Rita..."

Let me get this straight.

Are you guys suggesting that
Ballentine was boffed to death?

Is that my case?

You have a great sense of humor.

Come on, guys.

This wouldn’t last past prelim.

We’re not saying that
there is a case, George.

There might be a case.

Any evidence? Witnesses?

I talked to
Roland Ballentine’s doctor.

Roland had a heart condition.

The guy never missed a checkup.

There is no way
he would be taking poppers.

The judge will say,
"what’s the m*rder w*apon?"

And I’ll say, "your honor,
a popper and a tart."

Look, society photographer
took that last week.

Name’s Eve Kinsley.

Hmm, looks just like my Frannie

only taller.

Okay, so she’s a hot ticket.

We should all be so lucky.

What’s the motive?

Who’s the beneficiary?

Junior.

And according to
Ballantine’s attorney

there was no plan
to change the will.

I rest my case.

But what if junior
thought there was?

They’ve been at
each other’s throats for years.

Lately it’s gotten worse.

He gets the girlfriend involved
and she offs the old man.

I’d say follow the money

but that doesn’t
seem to apply here.

So, what do we do?

We go pop a tart.

Hey, Gillian.

Hi.

I know you don’t like surprises.

Neither do I.

But I also hate the phone

at a time like this.

Can we declare a truce?

I never had a problem, Gillian.

You walked off.

Okay, then.

I apologize.

I didn’t explain
how I was feeling

and I realize now
that you were being supportive.

Yeah, well, I, uh...
I guess we can let it go.

So is it a truce?

Truce.

Can we still have a social life?

Uh, police softball,
yeah, but...

I’m going to have to think
about the other stuff.

Okay.

I’ll let you think about it.

Call me.

What?

What?

I didn’t say anything.

You didn’t have to, Sam.

I can see you choking
on the word "jerk."

If you want to treat
the woman you love

like a puppy dog
you can pat on the head

and send away whenever you...

I accepted her apology.

Never mind.

What exactly is the problem?

Your knuckles.

You’re dragging them
in the dirt.

What did you get dinged for?

Two dozen roses and a card

in which I eat
serious humble pie.

You got off pretty easy.

I don’t get it, George.

She leaves me standing
in a parking lot

and I end up
looking like a bad guy.

Don’t ask me.

I’m living out of boxes
in a one-bedroom apartment

and I can’t figure out
how I got there.

I’m going on about my squabble

while you are trying

to put the pieces
of your life back together.

Thanks, I think.

Chris, when it comes
to women these days

I don’t know where to begin.

Why don’t you start
off slow, George?

You got to test the waters

before you go jumping in.

I’m too scared.

After all those years
with Andrea

I became "married George."

I’m the guy
that didn’t have to worry

about his spreading middle

and the receding
hairline anymore.

I mean, I was married.

I’m going to let you in
on a little secret.

This might sound strange,
but women--

they’re not into looks
the way men are.

It’s more than that.

What else is there?

Image-- the guy you become
after you’ve been married

is a lot less perfect

than the guy who was single
and on the make.

So you become
that single guy again.

I don’t know
if I have the energy.

I mean, I’ve grown
into my flaws, Chris.

I’d become accustomed to them,
they were mine.

Now, suddenly, I’m not so
comfortable with them anymore.

Weren’t you comfortable

before Andrea divorced you?

Yeah, I guess I was.

Maybe a little pain
and discomfort

isn’t a bad thing now and again.

Yeah, who knows?

Yeah.

Maybe.

Miss Kinsley?

Rita.

Eve Kinsley?

Yeah.

What do you got?

Coroner put the time
of death around midnight.

It looks like she was

having sex before she d*ed.

r*pe?

Someone wants us to think that.

So you think the sex
was consensual?

Not even a broken fingernail.

He waited until
her guard was down

and then stabbed her to death.

Makes sense.

No sign of forced entry.

Did you get anything
from the landlady?

Eve used her security deposit
for the last month’s rent.

Any forwarding address?

No, said she was moving out.

She’d only been here
three months.

They argued over the number
of gentlemen callers.

A lot?

"If men were ships

Eve would be
the Panama canal."

I didn’t find
any amyl nitrite caps

but I did find this--

a check stub from dream girls.

Now we know what
kind of dancer she was.

What do you think, Rita?

Has melody got real style
and grace or what?

Looks like real silicone to me.

Hey, come on,
it’s class that counts.

Melody’s got class, like you.

Nice and slow, melody.

Don’t rush it.

So, what about
this girl, Donnie?

Did she have
real style and class?

What about her?

Do I know her?

You paid her.

I know, it’s Eve Kinsley.

So, how long did she work here?

On and off for about six months.

Is there anything else
you can tell me about her?

I don’t get involved

with my girls’ personal lives.

Eve’s dead, Donnie.

She’s been m*rder*d.

Are you kidding me?

Not one of my customers?

I’ll rip his lungs out.

Do you know what this
does to my business?

Have you ever seen her

with this guy before?

This jamoke?

Yeah, you know him?

Yeah, his name is
junior Ballentine.

Is this the guy?

We’re still checking that out.

So Eve met him in here?

He may have.

So what can you
tell me about him?

In this business

there’s always one guy
who’s trying to stick

a c-note too far down
a lady’s g-string.

That was this guy.

So he’s a regular.

Yeah, a regular degenerate.

Any other sins
aside from the flesh?

Yeah, a dollar would
never stick to this guy.

He was into me
for a couple of grand

and he owed some serious people
serious money.

So he’s a gambler.

Horses, football

flies crawling up a window,
you name it.

I may want to talk to one
of the girls who knew Eve.

And when they all go weepy

are you going to be here
with the Kleenex?

That’s your job, Donnie.

Thanks a lot.

Yeah, Eve dated junior.

They’d seen each other
for two months.

Eve wasn’t much
of a dancer, though

but could find
her way to a buck.

Could smell a scam a mile away.

She say what she had in mind?

She talked about hitting
the jackpot with junior.

What else did she say?

Something
about old man Ballentine.

He wasn’t going
to be around forever

and that’s when she was really

going to hit the big time.

Ballentine, - .

What do you think,
the black or the pink?

Uh, the pink.

Yeah, the black one’s so
"been there, done that."

Yeah. Thanks.

Coroner’s report said
Eve Kinsley had sex

with two men the day she d*ed,
including Roland Ballentine.

And I’ll bet
the other one was junior.

What’d Donovan have to say?

He said
it’s still circumstantial.

Whatever the dancer told you
is hearsay.

Then we lean on junior harder.

We make him think
we know more than we do.

Then we see if he cracks.

Let’s see, Roland Ballentine’s
funeral was an hour ago.

I say we catch junior
in his hour of grief.

Absolutely.

What’s going on?

Mr. Junior Ballentine
is upset, sergeant.

About what?

One of the mourners
made a comparison

between junior
and my late employer.

Junior took objection

and a food table was turned over

and a fistfight ensued.

Nobody’s going to tell me

that my father was
a wonderful guy.

They didn’t know the bastard

like I did.

Isn’t this where
we came in last time?

What the hell
are you guys doing here?

Get out!

Should I begin
clearing up now, sir?

I’ll tell you when I’m done.

But I am done with you.

Go and lie down,
you’re hopelessly drunk.

No, I’m not.

You see, I’m splendidly drunk.

Get rid of them, show them out.

How long has he been drinking?

Ever since the funeral started.

Claire, we need to ask
you a few questions.

About Roland?

No, about junior.

Eve Kinsley was m*rder*d
the night before last.

That’s right, eve’s dead.

Was junior here that night?

Yes... I mean, I assume he was.

I’ve been going to bed early

but you can’t suspect junior,
he would never hurt anyone.

Really? Could
have fooled me.

I’ve know junior
since childhood.

He’s like a brother to me.

When my parents d*ed,
he became my family

he’s always supported
anything I’ve wanted to do.

He even encouraged me
to go to law school.

So you’re a lawyer?

I’m studying for the bar.

Bring junior
down to the precinct

tomorrow morning
about : .

And if you could get him there

before he starts drinking

that would be good.

If not, we’ll be back
with a warrant.

Hey...

It’s nice of you to call.

Uh, cap.

Junior is a no-show.

Okay, go get this guy.

Maybe he’s starting
to panic, huh?

Yeah, Sergeant Lance.

Sergeant Lance,
it’s Claire Ballentine.

I can’t find junior anywhere.

If he shows up

you just keep him there, okay?

Any sign of him?

I’ve been calling
all his friends.

When was the last time
you saw him?

Early this morning
when I told him

you wanted to talk to him
about Eve.

Wyley, did you see him leave?

No, sir, and he’s not here.

Guys, check the rest
of the house.

Check if his car’s still here.

Yeah, this is Sergeant Lance.

Requesting an APB
On one Junior Ballentine.

Sam!

Claire told me what happened.

I guess I should thank you
for saving my life.

How long was I out?

About six hours.

And I wouldn’t be
too grateful, junior.

Conspiracy to commit m*rder

carries the death penalty
in this state.

What are you talking about?

Your father, Eve Kinsley

all your gambling debts.

I know all about Eve.

Claire told me about it.

How much did you owe?

I don’t know.

I sort of lost count.

About... $ , .

Your father wasn’t
going to pay up

and that’s when you
introduced him to Eve.

She wanted to meet him.

It wasn’t my idea.

He had a heart condition.

You give her
amyl nitrite for him?

What?!

After Eve k*lled him

you went to her house.

She want more money?

You people are crazy.

We know Eve had sex twice

the day she d*ed.

One was with your father

and one with you.

You don’t know that.

Yeah, we do.

We can get a blood sample

and match it
to the autopsy report.

We know you hated your father.

Yeah, I hated him.

So you decided to k*ll him.

No, I didn’t k*ll him,
I hated him.

I might have wanted to k*ll him,
but I didn’t k*ll him.

How do you think I got this?

How did you get that?

I came out of the garage
and someone hit me from behind.

That’s all I remember.

Next thing I know, I’m here

and Claire is telling me
that you two saved my life.

How did he get
that bump on his head?

Maybe it was self-inflicted.

Or maybe he did fall.

He is a drunk.

Drunks bang into stuff
all the time.

Why would he go
to all that trouble

to off his father,
get rid of Eve

then commit su1c1de?

Right, so who did
try to k*ll him?

Not his creditors.

Break his legs maybe

but why would they k*ll a guy

who’s about to inherit
million bucks?

So now he didn’t do it?

The bump on his head
doesn’t add up, George.

If you’re going to k*ll yourself
with carbon monoxide

why whack yourself in the head?

Exactly.

Why can’t it ever
be easy, just once?

Okay, let’s start again.

Follow the money.

Does anybody else benefit
from Ballentine’s death?

Yeah, wyley Philips.

He gets a small annuity.

How small?

Less than his salary.

Besides that,
junior gets all the money.

What if junior’s dead?

Nobody else in the will.

Any other survivors?

Claire’s the sole
surviving relative

but she’s not named.

If all named beneficiaries
are deceased

the laws of intestate
succession prevail.

What do you mean?

The money is split

between living relatives
named or unnamed.

Wait a minute.

You mean Claire?

Yeah.

What’s the connection
with Eve Kinsley?

Well, there isn’t any.

Hang on a second.

Let me try something.

Listen to this.

Hi, this is Claire Ballentine.

Please leave a message.

Thank you.

Eve Kinsley’s address book.

I always thought the number
under Ballentine was junior’s

but it was Claire Ballentine’s.

Who better than a law student

would know the laws
of succession?

Yes. Let’s go.

What, why?

Junior is due to be discharged
from the hospital.

See you, George.

Go, go.

Wyley!

Can’t a man get
a drink around here?

Where’s wyley?

I gave him the day off.

Claire, what...?

Be quiet, junior

and everything will go smoother.

What are you doing?

Turn your head away.

Do it now.

Claire, no.

Oh, yes.

I’m afraid so, junior.

I’m not a bad person.

I don’t have a choice.

I paid that bitch
an awful lot of money

to take care of your daddy

and she got greedy
and wouldn’t go away.

I cared about you.

It was always us against him.

I don’t believe this.

I’m tired of living
on your handouts.

Please, Claire,
you can’t do this.

You tried to commit
su1c1de once, remember?

Only this time
you were successful.

Now, just close your eyes

and everything will be over
in just a second.

Drop the g*n.

Make a move, I’ll sh**t.

Give it up, Claire!
It’s over!

Don’t do it!

Don’t...

I guess the bar exam’s
just going to have to wait, huh?

Hey, George.

Howdy.

I thought you were
at Claire’s preliminary.

I was in and out.

They’re copping a plea.

Junior hired
a top defense attorney

to represent Claire.

There’s hope for that boy yet.

I guess he does owe her.

She got rid
of the old man and all.

Rita, it’s unlike you
to be so cynical.

What a pleasant surprise.

You didn’t come over here
to ask me that.

I dropped off a surprise present
for the captain.

We should be hearing from him
just about any moment.

Yes! Yes!

I got it. I got it.

A ’ Willie Mays.

The year of
the world series catch.

George, this must be worth

a small fortune.

I don’t know what to say.

I have a collection.

And Andrea has no idea
what they’re worth.

Better they go to you than
to pay some bloodsucking lawyer.

Rita, that catch?

You had to be there.

It was the greatest catch
in the world.

I guess that would make
your nephew real happy, huh?

What?

Oh, right.

Right, my nephew.

The kid’s going to plotz.

Willie Mays.

I have an early
Joe DiMaggio for Chris.

He has a date
with Gillian tonight.

Ooh, the lady doctor again.

Is our Chris Lorenzo

getting ready to trade in
his bachelor card?

Let’s just say he had to rent
a tuxedo for this date.

Uh-oh, he’s dead meat.

Yeah, I say.

Lucky devil.

Ah... you look
beautiful.

Thank you. You, too.

Thank you for picking me up.

My water pump broke, per usual.

Oh, no problem.

Mmm...

Well, I’m all gift-wrapped

and, uh...
I’m ready to go.

Well, I like the gift wrapping.

Can I see what’s inside the box?

Aha, you, uh...

Want to be late
for your wedding?

Ooh, fashionably late.

Maybe an hour.

Maybe more.