01x22 - The Untitled Stan Jansen Project

[bunniefuu]

I do not believe they chose our school.

This is so cool.

I know.

A documentary about our lives? Who knew we were that interesting? We're not.

Don't get too excited, Gordo.

You may hurt yourself.

Gordo, they're making a documentary on our lives right here at our own school.

Yeah, it sounds cool in theory but they're going to talk Kate and they'll talk to Ethan and it'll be the same sugarcoated, ain't
-life
-grand junior high documentary that we've seen thousands of times before.

What's your point, Gordo? We're going to be on TV.

Hey, I've got no problem with being sugarcoated.

Ain't life grand? Besides, I don't want to be in front of the camera.

I want to direct.

Fine.

So direct us into this documentary.

Got to find a way to make ourselves stand out.

Good luck.

I mean, I don't understand how they expect to catch anyone acting natural.

It's a total zoo.

Look at all the animals.

I don't know what he's talking about.

I'm ready for my close
-up.

It's not that bad.

Everyone just wants to be on TV.

It'll all calm down by tomorrow.

And when it does calm down, that's when we'll strike.

Full frontal fashion as*ault.

We'll look so good they'll have to put us on TV.

Smokin'.

Hey, if you want to jump around with the other animals, go ahead.

You.

Me? No, him.

Me? Stan Jansen.

I'm directing this documentary.

Oh, it's very nice to meet you.

I was just saying how much I wanted to be a director someday.

I was wondering maybe I could follow you around and pick your brain? Actually, kid, I was just thinking the same thing about you.

I like your energy.

Love the angst.

Very real very refreshing.

Oh, yeah, he is.

You have a unique way of looking at things.

Oh, he does.

Two very important skills if you want to be a director.

Oh, I do.

I'm going to keep my eye on you.

This kind of exposure could lead to big things for you, kid.

You're going to be directing in no time.

Wow, thank you.

How did you do that? I don't know.

Yeah, Gordo, looks like you're the King Kong of this monkey house.

And we're all going along for the ride.

If you believe We've got a picture
-perfect plan We've got you fooled 'Cause we only do the best we can And sometimes we make it And sometimes we fake it But we get one step closer each and every day We'll figure it out on the way.

Lizzie McGuire S01E22 The Untitled Stan Jansen Project Yeah, you're totally right.

I should change.

All right.

I'll see you at school.

Where are you going? To change.

But, honey, we like you the way you are.

What? It's a joke.

All right, I'm just going to eat my pancakes.

Honey, this is the third time you've changed this morning.

And it keeps getting worse.

But I've got to find the perfect outfit.

They have this documentary thing at school so I've got to kind of stick out.

Honey, you look beautiful, and if the documentary people can't see that then they need glasses, right, honey? I'm just eating my pancakes.

Thanks, Dad.

I'll just I'll just wear this.

Hey, Mom, I've got to stay after school today.

Why? Because Melina Bianco put a rubber snake in the teacher's desk.

Why do you have to stay after school? 'Cause she made it look like I did it.

Are you mad at her? Mad? No way.

Okay, the rubber snake in the teacher's desk a basic plan, but the execution was brilliant.

I like her style.

Okay, could you please explain our children to me? I'm just eating my pancakes.

Good, good, I like it.

Good, good, good.

Like it a lot, folks.

Very nice.

Oh, you look great.

Oh, you, too.

That outfit rocks.

Whoa, I guess everyone had the same idea we did.

Well, it was a good idea.

Ooh, so, are you nervous? I don't know.

I don't think so.

There's our leading man.

Leading man? A leading man is tall, dark and handsome.

I guess one out of three isn't so bad.

Okay, Gordo is it? Yeah.

Our documentary is about real life so just go about your day and do what you normally do.

Okay.

Okay.

Good.

Ready? Rolling.

Hey, guys.

Hey, Gordo.

Hola.

Cut! Cut! All right, remember that stuff I said before? Just forget it.

What is the root of all good drama? Conflict.

The root of drama is conflict.

So I want to see a little bit of that devil
-may
-care, sh**t
-from
-the
-hip rebel
-without
-a
-cause attitude I say yesterday.

Action! Hi, Gordo.

Will you walk me to class? "Conflict" Why, did you forget how to get there? But, Gordo, you always walk me to class.

Not only do I not walk you to class but I don't speak to you 'cause I don't like you.

You're a stuck
-up snob who thinks that because she's a cheerleader she's better than everyone else.

Bye
-bye, Gordo.

It was nice knowing you.

Gordo bye.

Bye.

Gordo, he's alive! I cannot believe you just said that to Kate.

I cannot believe that Kate just stood there and took it.

Yeah, it felt good.

That was priceless.

Good work.

Being in front of the camera isn't really that bad.

And you were so mean to Kate.

I wasn't mean.

I was just telling it like it is.

That's what this school needs.

It needs someone who can tell it like it is.

Wow, looks like there's a new sheriff in town.

Stick with me, kid and you're going to go far.

I guess he means we're going to go far, right? Hey, wait up.

This is my Nobel Prize.

It's a bowling trophy.

Okay, let's forget about that.

Oh, this is me battling a whaling ship when I was with Greenpeace.

You cut this out of a magazine.

I know there's something up here somewhere.

Nice gnome.

Is it yours? Nah, it's my dad's.

He paints them as a hobby.

Oops, still wet.

Come on.

I want to show you my new video game.

I'm on level 14 but I'll give you a chance to catch up.

Why don't you go in there and set it up and I'll be in in just a sec? Okay.

Matt, I'd like to talk to you.

In a minute.

No, now.

Why did you do this to my gnome? That's not my work.

Melina? I've been with Matt the entire time.

You two were the only ones home.

It had to be one of you.

Okay, I'm going to give you one minute to come up with the truth.

You had to go after the gnome.

I'm not the one with paint on my hands.

Okay, if we both take the blame they'll go easier on us.

Okay.

Well? We're waiting.


-Matt did it.


-I did it.

Okay, Melina, I think it's time for you to go home.

Matt, you're grounded.

For a long time.

Go to your room, Matt.

You're an artist.

Thanks.

Go on, get.

How sweet was that with Kate? Gordo, the camera's like a force field.

Totally.

So, what was it like? Telling Kate off? It was great.

No, being followed around by cameras? Oh, I don't know.

I don't really notice them.

Yeah, right.

You're not a very good actor, Gordo.

Okay, okay.

It's pretty cool.

You absolutely have to find a way to get us on camera.

Yeah, you're the star.

It should be a snap.

Guys, I can't ask Stan for preferential treatment just because I'm a star.

How soon he forgets the little people.

Of course, you can.

That's the whole point in being a star.

And if you don't you're going to be very lonely at the top.

Okay, I'll ask him but, guys, maybe if you stood out more, that would help.

Have you seen our school lately, Gordo? I don't mean the way you look, but what you have to say.

So you're just telling us to tell the truth like you.

No, you just have to find your own voice.

So, just be ourselves? I can be myself.

I've been myself my whole life.

Look, guys, I got to go.

I'll talk to Stan.

I'll see you tomorrow.

For our television debut, you bet.

No one is better at being me than I am.

I've been myself for 13 years.

Who else could play me but me? Um, guys? Guys? Oh, yes, I'm the great pretender Pretending that I'm doing well Who's that kid? Larry Tudgeman.

He's harmless.

Gordo, what is drama? Conflict? Good.

Go create it.

So, Tudgeman how would you describe yourself? I've always thought of myself as kind of James Bond meets Captain Kirk sort of guy, you know boldly going where no secret agent has gone before.

Cut! Gordo, look at that kid.

He's a walking disaster.

Now you got to go after him like you did that girl.

But he didn't do anything.

Do you want to be a director? Well, yeah.

Well, you can't always be a nice guy.

So, Tudgeman, how long have you been wearing this same shirt? Why? Just there's this thing called "personal hygiene.

" I hate to break it to you, but, Tudgeman, you're a geek.

I'm a geek?! No, I'm not! My mom says the other kids are mean to me because they're jealous, okay?! Great! I couldn't write anything better.

Let's move on.

Gordo, I think you were a little harsh on Tudgeman.

I would even go mean.

I was just giving Stan conflict.

Conflict? I think conflict is when my nail polish doesn't match my outfit.

So, tell me about your friends.

Uh, my friends? Yeah, how long have you known each other? Well, we've known each other for a very long time.

Forever.

Yeah, forever.

Best friends.

Yeah, we tell each other anything.

Oh, and we keep each other's secrets.

Secrets? What secrets? Oh, nothing.

You guys are keeping stuff from me? Like what? Oh, like when Lizzie was in the fourth grade she had a crush on you.

You did? She did? What else? Nothing.

Nothing else.

I cannot believe you just said that! I'm sorry! It was a mistake! Gordo tricked me! I didn't trick you.

Lizzie, is there something you'd like to share about Miranda? Share? Friends always share.

Yeah, actually there is.

In the fourth grade she used to come home and snack on doggie biscuits.

Oh, sorry, it was a mistake.

I thought you were my friend.

I thought you were mine.

Yeah, but I didn't do it on purpose.

It was a mistake, unlike you.

Yeah, my only mistake was telling you anything.

That was great.

You have quite a future ahead of you, kid.

You guys hear? Stan thinks I have quite a future ahead of me.

Dirk! What? Cut? No can do.

One way or another I'm gonna find ya I'm gonna get ya, get ya, get ya, get ya One way or another I'm gonna meet ya I'm gonna get ya, get ya, get ya, get ya One way or another I'm gonna see ya I'm gonna meet ya, meet ya, meet ya, meet ya One day, maybe next week I'm gonna meet ya I'm gonna meet ya, I'll meet ya I will drive past your house And if the lights are all down I'll see who's around Matt, that wasn't very nice.

I didn't even see that coming.

Then you'd better hurry.

Melina, I've never met a girl like you
-
- a girl who loves trouble almost as much as I do.

Almost? Is he gone? Let me check.

Yeah, he's gone! Come on out.

See you after school.

It's a date.

Hey, how was school? Fine.

So watcha doing? Studying.

So Where are Gordo and Miranda? I don't know.

So are you going to come right out and tell me what's wrong or do I have to ask you? Mom watches a lot of cop shows.

She always gets me to fess up.

I thought this whole documentary thing would be cool, but it's not and now Miranda and I are in a fight because we told each other's secrets to the camera.

That doesn't sound like you guys.

I know, but the thing is Gordo was the one who started it.

That certainly doesn't sound like Gordo.

He's completely changed.

It's kind of hard to understand.

He's being kind of mean and he's the one who encouraged us to tell the secrets.

Oh, honey, the camera does strange things to people.

I know it probably doesn't make you feel any better, but the documentary crew is going to be gone in a week and your friends are still going to be there.

Ooh, I hate it when she tells me what I already know.

So how should I handle it? I think you should talk to them.

Off
-camera.

So what was the secret? Oh.

That I, um I had a crush on Gordo in the fourth grade.

I knew it.

I mean, you did? Really? Hey.

Can I talk to you? Me first.

Look, I'm sorry.

No, I'm sorry.

Who's that? Popular kid.

Go get him, tiger.

So, Ethan, is there anything more to you than good hair? What? Gordon
-
- why you got to be like that? I'm out.

Later, ladies.

Gordo! What were you doing? Oh, come on, that was no big deal.

It was so a big deal.

You were really rude to him.

That's not you.

Listen, guys, you know I want to be a director.

I don't want to blow my big opportunity.

Stan really thinks I have a knack for this.

A knack for what
-
- hurting people's feelings? Yeah, I can't believe you're willing to be mean to everyone just to get what you want.

That's not what I'm doing.

I'm just being myself.

Yeah, right.

Some alternate
-universe whacked
-out alien version of yourself.

The one great thing about you is you know who you are, and you are your own person.

But now you're letting this director guy tell you who you are.

Um can we shut off the cameras for a second? No can do.

So, if you're willing to put this film ahead of us, fine.

I'm sure you'll make a great director some day.

Guys.

Come on.

It just keeps getting better.

I've been thinking about what you guys said.

Gordo, we already told you.

We're not going to talk to you on
-camera.

Sorry.

Think that was kind of mean? I think it was kind of necessary.

That doesn't make me feel any better.

"GO AWAY" I love this kid.

I shouldn't be here.

I'm grounded.

Do you always listen to your parents? When they're angry, yeah.

We'll only stay for a second.

How many chances will we get to be in a movie? Besides, we're covered, there's tons of adults here.

Okay, but promise to lay low.

I promise.

Come on.

This whole documentary is a joke.

Let's see where this is going.

I know this may end up on the cutting
-room floor but it needs to be said.

This really isn't what middle school is like.

This isn't real.

I was encouraged by the director to act the way I did.

It's not who I am and that's not how I treat my friends.

So if that's what it takes to make it in this business then maybe I'm not cut out for it after all.

That's it.

I'm done.

Cut.

Cut.

What are you doing, kid? I can't use any of that.

I know.

So go find yourself another zookeeper.

Now, that's the Gordo I remember.

Welcome back.

It's good to be back.

Hey, whoa, kid! Wait up! Matt, would you go and get me some ketchup? Okay.

Here's your ketchup.

Oh, I don't need ketchup.

What the?! You promised.

I lied.

You're amazing.

You! Kid! Come here! Hiya! Ha! Got you now, kid.

Fire! Matt, catch! Aren't you glad things are back to normal? Okay, you guys already know what I'm going to say so do I even need to say it? Yeah.

Okay.

You were right.

I'm sorry.

I let the documentary become more important than our friendship.

Uh, where are the cameras when you need them? I would love to have that on film.

I'm sure you'll all be pleased to know that there will be no documentary thanks to Mr.

Ketchup and you
-
- you just blew a once
-in
-a
-lifetime opportunity, pal.

We will not be back.

Let's boot it! What a shame.

I guess we'll all just have to hang out and be happy.

All right.

it's safe to come out.

Are you sure? Positive.

Nice work back there, Matt.

Am I in trouble? Not with me
-
- I think you did a great job
-
- but with Mom and Dad you're toast.

So, was that your girlfriend? She keeps on tricking me and getting me into trouble.

I hope she's my girlfriend.

So, you really had a crush on me in the fourth grade? I was young.

I didn't know any better.

Okay, here we go, kids and background action.

Matt, catch! Pour it on.

Oh, my gosh.

I didn't know he did this to you.