I don't know about you guys,
but I am ready for a nap.
Me, too. I don't get this.
Isn't lunch supposed to give
you energy?
I miss kindergarten.
Nap time?
What? I thought we were
all on the same page.
[CHUCKLES]
Afternoon, people. [CHUCKLES]
Now that's a meal
that would energize me.
You think so, huh?
But when fast food is all you eat,
your energy kind of evens out.
The only thing you eat is fast food?
Oh, breakfast, lunch and dinner.
-You're my hero.
-Why? Cooking's great.
I'm no good at it, but I wish I was.
I can't even microwave popcorn
without burning it.
So, you never eat
like a home-cooked meal?
When my mom sends me care packages,
I do, yeah.
Mr. Dig, that's just wrong!
You need to take care of yourself.
You need to eat
three proper meals a day
and you need to eat meals that have
all your major
food groups represented.
Uh-oh. Did I just sound
like my mother?
I'm too young for that.
You know, I had a great dinner
at Lizzie's last night.
Your mom makes the best meatloaf.
Meatloaf?
Your mom makes meatloaf?
[CHUCKLING]
That's one of my favorites!
Yeah, Lizzie's Mom's a great cook.
Way better than my mom.
Why do you think we spend
so much time at your house?
Uh, the company?
Compared to the good eats,
the company is secondary.
[SCOFFS]
If I didn't like him so much,
I'd hate him.
Well, Mr. Dig, I'm sure my mom
will not mind cooking dinner for you.
When should I be there?
Did I just invite Mr. Dig to dinner?
But you're not supposed to see
your teachers outside of school!
It's like seeing Santa in blue jeans.
Um, I'll ask my mom
and get back to you.
What? Who said that?
'Cause I know it wasn't me.
[BELL RINGING]
Oh, there's the bell.
Don't want to be late.
-What were you thinking?
-Inviting our teacher to dinner?
[SIGHS]
That's what I'm trying to figure out.
[THEME SONG PLAYING]
Okay, so even though
Mr. Dig is my favorite sub,
I should never have
invited him to dinner.
But since I did, you guys have
to be on your best behavior.
Does that mean I shouldn't sing?
Oh, I love it when he sings.
Since when do you sing, Dad?
Well, rarely, because I'm always
on my best behavior.
Lizzie, don't worry.
We are not that weird.
Well, speaking of weird.
Trust me. I've got too many problems
of my own to be worrying about yours.
Good. That means no burping, belching,
or making funny faces during dinner.
Okay, I can cut back
on the funny faces, but...
I don't always have control
over the burping and...
[BURPS LOUDLY]
...belching.
And I don't always have control over
when I'm going to crush you.
Okay, seriously, Matt. Please.
This is really, really
important to me.
I just want to get through
dinner tonight
as fast and painlessly as possible.
You know, I want to get through
the school year the same way.
Tsk. Guess we're both
out of luck, huh.
-[PHONE RINGING]
-That's Miranda. I'll get it upstairs.
Matt?
-[PHONE RINGING]
-Something wrong at school?
It's my teacher, Ms. Chapman.
You know, she used to be so nice
and friendly,
but now, it's like
she's in a bad mood all the time.
-What do you mean?
-Well, she piles on the homework,
gives us a time out
if we forget to raise our hand.
She made Lanny stay after school
just because he threw away his gum
the wrong way.
What's the right way?
It's supposed to be neatly folded
in a gum wrapper
or a tissue or something.
Otherwise, it just sits there...
...bald, shriveled,
staring at you.
At least, that's what she says.
[BOTH CHUCKLE]
You just hang in there, son.
Maybe her bad mood will go away.
Women are funny that way.
-Hey!
-What? Aren't you?
-Yeah.
-See?
Just keep the conversation moving.
You don't want any lulls.
They can be dangerous.
Yeah. Awkward pauses
make people say really stupid things
they wouldn't ordinarily say.
[CHUCKLES] Okay, so no lulls.
And don't let your parents show him
any of your baby pictures.
Oh, and don't let him see your room.
And whatever you do,
don't let him out of your sight.
If left alone with anyone
in your family,
they can reveal your deepest,
darkest secrets.
I don't have any deep, dark secrets.
At least none that they know about.
Okay, this is not helping, you guys.
This situation is beyond help.
Yeah, you're pretty much doomed.
Note to self:
Get two new best friends.
Okay. He should be here,
like, any minute.
[SNICKERS]
[MATT LAUGHS]
What? Do I have something in my teeth?
No. Not your teeth.
Mom, can you do something about him?
-Matt.
-I didn't do anything!
Now, let's keep it that way.
You know, honey,
this stuff is really good.
-Dad!
-Honey, accidents happen.
-Here, let me help you.
-Yeah?
-Come on.
-All right.
-[JO SCREAMS]
-SAM: Hey, hey!
-JO: Ouch! [SCREAMS]
-SAM: I got it. I got it.
Get away from me!
-I got it.
-[JO GASPS]
-Okay.
-[SIGHS]
[DOORBELL RINGS]
You want to get that?
[SIGHS IN EXASPERATION]
Oh, this can't be happening.
[WATER DRIPPING]
-Hello.
-Hello.
Um...
I brought pecan pie.
Pecan pie?
I love pecan pie.
It's one of my favorites.
Mine, too, but maybe I should have
brought towels and a stain remover.
[LAUGHING]
Yeah.
Come on in. I'm Jo.
This is my husband, Sam.
-Hi.
-Our son, Matt,
-and of course, you know Lizzie.
-[CHUCKLES]
Digby Sellers. Pleased to meet you.
Digby Sellers?
No. You're Mr. Dig.
Mr. Dig!
Lizzie, nice to see you.
You've got a little something
stuck to your shoe there.
-[MATT LAUGHS]
-I do?
-[ALL CHUCKLING]
-[LIZZIE CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY]
I do.
Is it time for him to go yet?
So, listen, we can get cleaned up,
but maybe,
Matt, you can take Mr. Sellers around,
show him the house?
Please, please.
Please call me "Digby."
-Digby?
-Okay.
And you can call me mortified.
Okay, Digby.
Let's start with Lizzie's room.
[CHUCKLES]
[SIGHS]
He had a tour of your house?
We did, and trust me, Gordo, it was
totally disastrous in the beginning.
Then having Digby at my house
wasn't so bad after all.
Who is Digby?
Wait, did you just call
Mr. Dig "Digby"?
That's so wrong.
Gordo, I told you. It was not
as bad as I thought it would be.
Plus, my parents were totally normal
for a change.
And he and my dad formed this bond
over some old rock band
that I'd never heard of before.
Uh-oh, music can be a pretty
strong connection.
Lifelong friendships can be formed
just because two people
like the same song.
Gordo, it was just something
they had in common.
It's not like my dad and Mr. Dig
are going to become friends now.
Then, what's your dad doing here?
Huh?
That's a question
definitely worth repeating.
Dad, what... What are you doing here?
Lizzie, I am really glad I found you.
-Dad, is something wrong?
-Not at all.
But you and Mom
never come to my school
unless I accidentally
left my lunch at home
and that hasn't happened since,
like, fourth grade!
No, I... I was going crazy
looking for this CD
that Digby and I were
talking about last night.
And guess what?
I found it.
It was wedged right in my car seat.
How cool! Now, don't you have
somewhere to be? Like work?
Not really. I really need
to find Digby, though,
because I think
he'd like to hear this.
And I'd kinda
like to hear you leaving.
Um, why don't you try
the teacher's lounge? It's that way.
Thank you, David.
Oh, Lizzie, by the way,
I am so glad you introduced us,
'cause he's really a cool guy.
Yeah, sure, Dad. Oh, my...
What? That is the worst thing
I've ever heard.
See you at home. Hey, Digby!
The planets must be misaligned
or something.
Mr. Dig's at your house,
your father is here.
It's not normal.
What can I say?
Gordo is totally right, as usual.
Okay, there is no way Ms. Chapman
can be mean to me today.
I am wearing green.
Green is supposed to make people...
[BREATHES HEAVILY] ...happy.
Why didn't anyone send me that memo?
What does red mean?
[GASPS] Okay.
You're on your own, Matt.
Morning, class.
Please take everything off your desks,
except for a piece of paper
and write your names
in the upper right-hand corner.
Melina. Melina, hey!
Can I borrow a pen?
Mine kind of ran out of...
[CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY]
Hello.
Is this the way we behave
during a pop quiz, Matthew?
By talking and disturbing
your neighbors?
[CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY]
I was just hoping to borrow a pen,
'cause, you see, mine ran out of ink.
-[MATT SCRIBBLES]
-Oh, Matthew.
Matthew, Matthew, Matthew.
Please call me "Matt."
Well, Matt.
I hate to do this,
but, due to your lack of preparation
and responsibility,
you've turned our pop spelling quiz
into a pop vocabulary quiz.
[ALL GROANING]
Is this a zoo or a classroom?
[CHUCKLES] That's what I thought.
Now, your first word
is "responsibility."
Spell it correctly
and write it in a sentence.
Miranda, you were so right
about the facial thing.
I feel so much better
about my dad and Mr. Dig.
In fact, I even feel like it's okay.
Excellent. Now, while the mask
is drying and tightening your pores,
now is a good time to eat.
-Ice cream is good.
-Why ice cream?
I don't know, but it sounds good,
though, doesn't it?
Hey! Whatever you're eating in there,
save some for me.
[BOTH SCREAMING]
[SCREAMING]
-Oh, Hi, Lizzie.
-Miranda, I'll call you back.
Yeah, please.
Mr. Dig, what are you doing here?
Hey, Digby, hurry up.
The game's gonna start.
Lizzie, you got some
gunk on your face.
As if I don't know!
I'm cleaning my pores!
Good night, honey.
Have fun cleaning, Lizzie.
[GASPS AND GRUNTS]
That's it! My father and my teacher
cannot be friends anymore,
interfering in my life.
I can't believe Ms. Chapman
didn't make me wear a hat today.
You weren't late,
you weren't unprepared
and you didn't talk
without raising your hand first.
Hmm. I must be having an off day.
I don't know how I'm going
to make it through the school year.
I know. I mean,
the homework alone is t*rture.
I asked my mom
the other night for help,
but she said she didn't learn calculus
till college!
Hey, you know what
Clark Benson told me?
-What?
-That Ms. Chapman
gets to school at : a.m.
And then she leaves, like, really,
really late at night every single day!
What does she do here for so long?
That's easy. She figures out new ways
to make our lives miserable.
-She needs a hobby.
-What she needs is a life.
Or at least more friends.
-Mmm.
-Hmm.
Actually, that's not a bad idea.
Man, have these birds
got it made or what?
Oh, you're telling me? They're getting
room and board for free!
[BOTH LAUGHING]
No! It's not fair.
Mr. Dig got home
from school before I did.
That's it. I am for
Operation Break-Up.
Hey, do you want a soda or something?
Hey, you've got your hands full.
I'll get it.
Miss McGuire.
Shouldn't you be doing your homework?
And to add more fuel to my fire,
I don't need a homework monitor.
Oof!
I'm just joking!
You want a soda?
Hey, it's my soda to offer. Not yours.
No, thanks.
-Hey, Dad.
-Hey, Lizzie.
Check out this bird house
Digby and I are making.
-Pretty sweet, huh?
-Mm-hmm. All you need is cable now.
So, Dad,
you and Digby have been spending
a lot of time together.
Yeah, I know.
He is so much fun to hang out with.
Well, don't you ever miss
doing stuff by yourself?
-Like what?
-You know,
like painting those lawn gnomes
that you like so much,
or doing crossword puzzles
or roller disco.
-Roller disco?
-Yeah.
I saw those pictures of you and Mom
when you first met.
[CHUCKLES]
Honey, that was a real long time ago.
What about those two friends of yours?
You know, the ones
that have that chimp?
I haven't seen them around in a while.
Oh, Jeremy and David?
They're off on vacation with Fredo.
Here we go. Cool and refreshing.
Hey, you staying for dinner?
Please say "no." Please say "no."
You know how much
I love Jo's meatloaf.
-Yeah.
-[DIGBY LAUGHS]
Oh, too bad. I think
we're ordering in pizza,
and I know how sick
you are of fast food, so,
I wouldn't blame you
if you didn't want to stay.
You know, actually I haven't had
a pizza in about a week.
-Slap on a few anchovies. I'm in.
-Hey.
Mom, can I talk
to you about some stuff?
Sure, sweetie.
What's going on with you?
You were so quiet
at dinner last night.
Well, it's hard to get
a word in edgewise
when Dad and Mr. Dig get started.
It's nice to see your dad
make a new friend though, isn't it?
Not really.
Actually, [SIGHS] that's what
I wanted to talk to you about.
I mean, I like Mr. Dig, a lot,
and I'm really glad that
he and Dad like each other,
but, sometimes...
Sometimes I just wish
that they weren't friends.
Oh, my gosh.
I can't believe
it didn't occur to me earlier.
This must be awkward for you.
I guess, I just thought because
you like Mr. Dig so much yourself...
And I do like him.
He's your favorite substitute teacher,
and I know I've heard you say
how cool you think he is.
And he is cool, Mom, but I just...
It was all so clear
before we started talking.
You know what?
I'm gonna talk to your dad.
Because our home
should be your sanctuary.
Yeah.
A place for all of us, all our friends
to feel very comfortable.
Our friends?
[SIGHS] Then I guess that means
Dad's friends, too.
Even if he is my substitute teacher.
I mean, you guys are okay
when Gordo and Miranda
come over here all the time.
Do you still want me to talk to Dad?
The only thing
harder than asking Mom for help,
is accepting that
Dad and Mr. Dig are friends.
I hate being so mature.
I'm not sure what I want right now.
[SMACKS LIPS] Well, you want me
to give you a ride to school
on my way to the market?
Your brother has invited
his teacher over for dinner tonight.
What? Why?
I don't know.
Well, just as long as he knows
what he's getting himself into.
[CHUCKLES]
Now remember, be nice to her,
compliment her, laugh at her jokes.
Matt, come on. If tonight is anything
like the night when we met Mr. Dig,
you have nothing to worry about.
[DOORBELL RINGING]
It's probably her.
Somebody answer it before
she has time to write a tardy slip.
Quickly!
I'll go.
-Sam?
-Yeah.
You've got something
on your tie again.
Oh... sorry, honey.
[SMACKS LIPS]
Matt, you know,
having your teacher over
for dinner could be dangerous.
But I want Mom and Ms. Chapman
to be friends like
Dad and your teacher.
No, you don't.
Yes, yes, I do.
He's young. He'll learn.
[JO LAUGHS LOUDLY]
My husband's always joking.
I wouldn't know.
I don't have a husband.
Thank you for coming to my house
for dinner, Ms. Chapman.
You're welcome, Matthew.
[CHUCKLES]
[LAUGHING] Matthew?
Um, I'm Matthew's
older sister, Lizzie.
Hello, Lizzie.
Uh...
Okay, here's a lull.
Gordo and Miranda said to avoid them
because someone might say
something embarrassing.
Matthew didn't stop sucking his thumb
until he was, like, five.
[CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY] My sister,
she takes after my dad
in the joke department.
Not very funny.
Well, I hope you're hungry.
We've got a ton of food.
I've got steak, potatoes...
Oh, I don't eat meat, or carbs.
Oh. Well, we've got lots of salad.
Is there dressing?
Yes. A vinaigrette. I make it myself.
I prefer it dry.
Well, I'll just make you
a new one then.
[SOFTLY] Ow!
[DOORBELL RINGS]
I'll get that.
Any excuse to get out of the room.
So, you're a teacher?
I'm friends with a teacher.
Actually, he's a substitute teacher.
Yeah, my sub, Mr. Dig.
Digby, actually.
Digby? What Digby?
Digby Sellers. You know him?
Yes! Well, no. It's been years.
He's the reason
why I went into teaching.
He had such enthusiasm,
such knowledge.
Do you see him often?
Please tell him I said "hello."
Tell him yourself.
It is you!
Jasmine!
Jasmine?
It's been a long time.
Too long!
I just came by to see my friend Sam
and give him back his CD.
Um...
Brought a copy of track three.
It rocks.
Cool.
Digby?
Yes, Jasmine?
I'm suddenly starving.
Well, that dry salad
will just take a minute to make.
-How does Chinese sound?
-Perfect.
-That is, if you don't mind.
-Not at all.
Hey, I thought we were
going to stay up
and watch sports highlights later.
Let him go, Sam. Let him go.
Matt?
[CHUCKLES NERVOUSLY] Yeah?
Don't worry about that extra homework.
I have a feeling
I won't have time to grade it.
Excellent.
Thank you for having me over.
Your home... No,
your entire family is just lovely.
Lovely!
Shall we?
[GIGGLING]
[GIGGLING]
Okay, what just happened here?
I don't know, but I think it was good.
Really good.
I got to go call Lanny.
And tell him
Ms. Chapman has a first name.
[CHUCKLES]
So, should I still talk to your dad?
Hey there, little gnome.
[BOTH LAUGHING]
On second thought, maybe
some of Dad's friends aren't so bad.
MALE CREW MEMBER: Test.
Well, this is our son, Matt,
[LAUGHING]
and of course, you know Lizzie.
-Matt. Yeah.
-MALE CREW MEMBER: Cut!
Where am I supposed to be looking?
You need to eat a... [GRUNTS]
You need...
Yeah.
-[OBJECTS CLATTERING]
-[LAUGHS]
Did... something wrong?
-What is it?
-What is it?
-[BANGS]
-Ah!
And the only answers
I can come up with
is just to break
Mr. Dad and my Dig up.
[CREW LAUGHING]
[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]
02x32 - My Dinner With Mr. Dig
Watch/Buy Amazon Merchandise
Series follows Lizzie McGuire, a thirteen-year-old girl who faces the personal and social issues of adolescence.
Series follows Lizzie McGuire, a thirteen-year-old girl who faces the personal and social issues of adolescence.