01x05 - Dinobraves/Hamburger Helper

[bunniefuu]

[♪♪♪]

♪ Three! ♪

[♪♪♪]

♪ Three! ♪

[♪♪♪]

♪ Three! ♪

♪ One, two, three! ♪

You're so cute!

[giggle]

[♪♪♪]

-Ow!

-Coast is clear.

Herby, what's goin' on?

Have you ever

wanted to be so scared

that you wouldn't be able

to sleep for light years?

[both]

You don't mean...

[shriek]

You got a copy of "The Mole

Creature From Terror Island?"

[shriek]

[deep gasp]

[shush]

No one can find out

we have this,

especially n--

[Colonel Cork]

Attention, students!

[others]

Colonel Cork!

A soldier is trained

to smell fear...

[horse-like sniff]

...and I smell fear

comin' from this very room!

[face squeaking on floor]

[whistling]

This appears to be

the banned picture movie

"Mole Creature From

Terror Island."

[fake gasp]

Where did that come from?

You just brought it in with yo--

Ow!

Too many students

have tried to watch

The Mole Creature movie

and failed with

disastrous results!

Before attempting

to watch it,

Chattering Carla's teeth

never chattered,

Shuddering Steve

never shuddered,

and Screamin' Jim

never screamed...

[scream]

[Cork] And one student,

who shall remain nameless,

now has to wear special

"absorbent undergarments."

And I also hold the record for

watching the movie the longest.

[chuckle]

Dismissed, Donnie!

Excellent idea, Sir!

[record scratch]

Heh.

We can handle it, Sir.

According to me,

we're the smartest...

[meow]

The calmest...

[screams]

And most alert!

[snoring]

So it clearly stands to reason

we're the bravest.

Negative.

This movie is

officially confiscated!!

As you were.

Are you guys thinkin'

what I'm thinkin'?

We're gonna watch

that scary movie

and prove to everyone--

especially Colonel Cork--

that we are the bravest

students on campus.

He'll be so proud of us!

But how're we gonna

get the movie back?

Start with some

cool mission music...

♪ [electronic music] ♪

♪ [electronic music] ♪

♪ [electronic music] ♪

[music ends abruptly]

[crash,

animal noises]

♪ [electronic music] ♪

♪ [electronic music] ♪

♪ [electronic music] ♪

We made it!

Now, the tricky part...

Thank you!

Thank you so much

for your support!

No, you're inspiring!

Don't think of us

as braver than you...

think of yourselves

as not as brave as us.

Whatever you do,

do NOT open

this door...

...unless Burt farts.

Then open it

as fast as you can.

If they get through

the whole movie,

they'll break

my record.

[growl]

♪ [creepy film soundtrack] ♪

♪ [creepy film soundtrack] ♪

[all shuddering,

gasping, and whining]

[all shuddering,

gasping, and whining]

[scream]

[Herby] Those were the scariest

opening credits I've ever seen.

[teeth chattering]

[watch ticking]

Another five minutes and they're

gonna break Donnie's record!

[crowd]

Wow!

Think, Donnie, think!

And pee a little while you do.

That's what these babies

are there for.

[gasp]

I've got it!

[wet diaper sloshes]

[sewing machine running]

[slurp]

[zip,

rustle]

[maniacal laugh]

I'm so scared

I can't close my eyes.

My nightmares are

going to have nightmares.

[feet scampering on floor]

[breathes out]

[shudder]

It feels like the monster is

breathing right down my neck!

I feel like it's

tapping me on the shoulder,

trying to get my attention.

[Donnie growls]

[Donnie roars,

others scream]

[others scream]

[Donnie]

This is dry clean only!

[scream]

[crowd] They didn't do it!

They were too scared.

[crowd screams]

[Donnie cackles]

Ow!

[all whimpering and shuddering]

Did it follow us?

I don't know.

Why don't you check?

Why don't YOU?

Why don't we

just all agree

that Kirbie should be

the one to check.

Fine,

but if I'm the one checking,

I'm using your eyeballs.

Fine!

I'll check.

We're good. [relieved sigh]

No monster in sight.

We just ran like scaredy cats.

[gasp]

Our fellow students

are in danger!

Well, the important thing

is that we're safe, right?

[record scratch]

...Not right.

Guys, we failed.

We didn't get the record!

Not just that,

but we failed our

fellow students!

I guess we're not the bravest.

But it's not too late.

We can still be brave!

In fact,

we can be even more braviest

if we save the school

-from the actual monster.

-Pass!

But how can we be

brave enough to

face the monster

we just ran from?

Remember,

we're not just the bravest,

but also the smartest,

and the calmest,

and the most alert!

We can use our smarts to figure

out how to defeat the monster,

and then our

alertness and calmness

to get it done.

So...

What do we know

about the Monster?

[Burt]

It works in the film industry?

[Herby] In the movie,

the monster hated getting wet.

[Kirbie] And the monster

ate the two lovers,

so...

it must hate love!

[shriek]

[Burt] And being hit by

large blunt objects.

Time to get brave and save

the school from that hideous,

evil,

disgusting monster!

[all cheer]

[Donnie grunts]

Zipper... stuck!

[growl]

Save yourselves!

[Donnie grunting]

-[Kirbie] There it is!

-[Donnie] Oh no.

Alright,

you filthy monster,

time to hose that

stink off ya.

[Donnie shouts and gurgles]

Hate love?

How 'bout some hugs?!

Huuuggy-hug-hug-hug-hug!

[Donnie howls in pain]

Kirbie, net!

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪]

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪]

[Donnie whimpers]

Help! Stop!

[gasp]

The monster swallowed Donnie!

Don't worry, Donnie, we'll get

the creature to cough you up.

Great idea,

Kirbie.

Amigonauts,

let's burp

this baby...

This is for eating

our good buddy,

you mole-faced monster!

[Donnie whimpers]

Ow, ow, ow, ow...

[grunt,

giggle]

What's he doing?

If I know Donnie,

and I do,

he wants us to eject him

AND the monster into space

so he can save us all!

No I don't.

Why would you say that?

I don't at all!

Please stop this!

-Wow...

-I don't want this at all!

I guess the bravest student

on campus was Donnie all along.

-You're very brave! Bye!

-I don't want this!

[scream]

[Kirbie]

We'll never forget you!

[footsteps]

[Donnie gulps nervously,

Cork growls]

We have vanquished

the monster!

[crowd cheers]

We've also started

using fancy words,

like "vanquished."

[awkward, confused cheering]

[scream]

Donnie, you're alive!

What in the galaxy

went on here?!

No need to fear,

Colonel Cork.

Donnie saved us all

from the Mole Monster.

There's no such thing.

Thanks to us.

A week's detention

for each student

who participated in

this forbidden film fiasco!

[students groan]

But we saved the school!

No fair.

Now let's see what

all the fuss is about...

♪ [creepy film soundtrack] ♪

I thought this was

supposed to be scary.

[chuckle]

[shriek]

[teeth chatter]

[Kirbie] Herby!

You called dibs on driving.

Why weren't you

behind the wheel?

Well, I called dibs,

but Burt licked it first,

so clearly he called dibs.

Yeah, I lick a lot of things.

Doesn't mean I called any dibs.

You can't keep

licking everything.

My tongue, my rules.

Let's all relax and get some

food in our bellies.

Hey!

Who ate all the rations

in the mini fridge?

Uh, I ate them on Wednesday.

But I thought the fridge

got restocked on--

You ate the rations?!

Well, what's the point

of me licking things

if you're not gonna

respect the dibs rule?

Ugh, I'm so hungry

it feels like

my stomach is going to

inhale me from the inside!

[Burt's stomach rumbles]

I'm fading...

I'm not gonna make it!

Woody, when can you

get us outta here?

[Woody] Whoa, whoa.

I'm not in any shape to leave.

I need a good hours.

What are we gonna do?

I know what I'm

NOT gonna do--

and that's sit here

and starve!

Real Amigonauts forage,

eat off the land,

and survive.

Boys...

let's move out!

-[imitates calvary charge]

-We're survivors!

[others imitate calvary charge]

[all panting and gasping]

[all panting and gasping]

Feels like we've been

walkin' in circles for hours.

Can't be.

We've been following

the sun the whole time.

Wait, I thought we were

following that sun.

[Burt] I thought we were

walkin' away from the sun.

Let's just follow our

footprints back to Woody.

I could use some water

[cough] anyway.

[Herby]

Uh oh.

[sigh]

Well, it's been a good ride.

You two've been

great friends, and...

[sniffle]

And...

[sniff]

Wait, do you guys smell that?

[sniff]

[all sniffing]

I smell it too!

[all gasp]

[stammer]

Is that a--

First face to win the race

gets to eat that burger!

[all shouting,

arguing, and fighting]

[burger]

Please, no!

My name is Dennis,

and I have a wife

and two little sliders at home.

I saw your ship crash

and I thought I could help.

[inaudible whisper]

[Burt]

Don't move.

What's the best way to

divide a burger three ways

if it only has two patties?

We cut it into equal pieces

and each take four.

Guys, we can't just eat him.

Mirages talk all the time.

Guys!

It's a burger that

walks, talks,

and has a little

char-broiled family.

Whew, it's a hot one

out here today, eh, kids?

[chuckle] How about we get you

in out of this heat?

[stomachs rumble]

Sounds like you could

use some chow, too.

If we leave now,

we'll be back at my village

in time for tonight's feast.

[scoff] And you guys

wanted to eat him.

Burt, we can't

turn down a feast.

All I'm sayin' is there

better be deep-fried pickles.

[Dennis]

I tell ya what...

After the feast, I can

take you back to your ship.

C'mon, I've gotta find

some shade, and quick!

[chuckle] Nothing worse

than walkin' around

with soggy buns all day.

♪ [tense, dramatic music] ♪

♪ [tense, dramatic music] ♪

♪ [tense, dramatic music] ♪

Woo!

I am cookin' out here!

Aw, my warm, gooey cheese

is dripping everywhere...

[all gasping and moaning]

Oh yeah...

Snap out of it!

You CAN'T eat him!

C'mon, I've gotta find--

Ow!

Oh, that came outta nowhere.

[gasp]

Ketchup...

Oh yeah...

If Burt doesn't get a taste,

neither do you.

[chuckle]

We'll have time to

fool around later.

Come on...

Will you two pull it

together, please?

He's got a family,

remember?

[Dennis shouting]

[gasp]

[Dennis shouting and screaming]

[frightened gasping]

Oh, thanks!

You really saved my bacon!

Well, best we

get a move on!

Baconnnn...

Oh yeah...

She got a taste

of the bacon!

[fighting]

[both]

Bacon...

Hey... [nervous chuckle]

Everything okay, you guys?

[starved, predatory growl]

I call dibs!

[Kirbie]

Hands off my bacon!

[Dennis]

Oh no! Hey!

[Dennis screams]

[♪♪♪]

[all]

Food-topia...

We're so sorry.

I-- I don't know

what came over us.

We've been out here

for such a long time.

-I think we just--

-Yeah, we did bad.

Aw, don't be silly!

[chuckle]

You can ask my wife--

You're not the first ones to

find these buns delicious.

C'mon!

What do you think they got?

Maybe some turkey,

or potatoes!

I bet it's those

yummy finger sandwiches.

French Fries,

jelly beans...

I like hamburgers,

I like apples...

I like pickles,

I like hamburgers...

-Brussels sprouts!

-I don't like apples on--

You guys got mozzarella sticks?

[chuckle]

Hold up!

I know you kids are excited,

but where I come from,

we wash up before dinner.

[spit]

Clean.

Yeah, we're gonna need to do

a little better than that.

[siren]

Perfect.

Now it's time to eat...

[all cheering]

...you.

Wait, what?

Oh, did I forget to

mention on our little walk

that YOU are the feast?

[laugh]

Oh, how the dinner tables

have turned...

-[gasp]

-Dinner's on me!

I'll fire up the rotisserie.

You bring your own fixins!

[villagers cheer]

Guess it's true what they say.

"Never trust a decision

you make on an empty stomach."

If you would've just

let me eat the burger--

Hey, don't blame me.

You're the one

who crashed Woody!

I wasn't calling dibs.

I just wanted to lick

the steering wheel!

Guys, chill out.

Bickering is what got us here.

If we're going to escape,

we need to work together!

-[Burt muttering]

-Burt, are you even listening?

[muttering]

You can't call dibs on dirt.

I ain't dibbin'.

I'm just not goin' out

on an empty stomach.

Yeah, but that's dirt.

We've gotta figure

out a way to--

[munching]

Mm!

It's actually not bad.

I'd say it's pretty darn good.

Kirbie,

you gotta try this!

[chewing]

This isn't dirt.

It's more like...

[gasp]

A hamburger bun...

[Burt]

I think I just hit mayo!

This planet must be...

[Kirbie and Herby]

...One giant burger!

Let's eat our way outta here!

Mm!

Wendell, you've outdone

yourself again.

Really, you have.

Who feels like some barbecue?!

[villagers cheer]

-Oh no.

-Eat faster!

[villagers gasp]

Hey, where'd they go?

[gasp] They're digging

through the ground!

You, you, you,

you, and you--

After them!

[♪♪♪]

[gag, spit]

[gasp]

It's onion!

[chewing]

It's too strong!

We're goners!

We can do this!

Together we will

eat through that onion

and get to the other side

of this planet.

Who's with me?

[all]

Ready, set...

Eat!!

Move, move, move!

[growl]

If they get away,

you're all ground beef,

y'hear me?

[all]

Woohoo!

[engine coughing]

[Kirbie] Woody!

What're the odds of that?

[Woody]

Hey, where you guys been?

Oh!

Makin' friends?

Not friends!!

Start your engines!

But I still gotta run

a test on my system.

[Herby]

Just go, go, go, go!

[scream]

-[Dennis growls]

-[Herby] He's got me!

Ach!

Oof!

Aw, man.

[Herby grunts]

"Nothing worse than

soggy buns..."

[Herby screams]

[Dennis screams]

[Herby laughs]

[sigh]

-That was tight.

-[Woody] That's for sure.

Bet you dudes worked up

an appetite.

Not sure if you noticed,

but that planet was packing

some heavy toppins...

So I made burgers!

[others scream]

[Burt] Yeah, I definitely had

no dibs on the wheel that time.

[♪♪♪]

♪ Three! ♪

[♪♪♪]

♪ Three! ♪

[♪♪♪]

♪ Three! ♪

[♪♪♪]

♪ Three! ♪

[♪♪♪]

♪ Three! ♪

♪ Three! ♪