01x08 - Ultimate Explorer's Club/Grumpy Young Man

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "3 Amigonauts". Aired: August 5 – September 28, 2017.*
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Centers on three 13-year-old incompetent anthropomorphic dinosaurs named Herby, Kirbie, and Burt who are hailed as heroes after saving Earth from annihilation.
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01x08 - Ultimate Explorer's Club/Grumpy Young Man

Post by bunniefuu »

[♪♪♪]

♪ Three! ♪

[♪♪♪]

♪ Three! ♪

[♪♪♪]

♪ Three! ♪

♪ One, two, three! ♪

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪]

[Woody]

Burt, dude!

The more you touch it,

the worse it's gonna get.

Woody's right.

Plus I think pink eye

is pretty contagious.

It's not pink eye.

It's just super itchy.

No worries!

Just a few more star clusters

and that eye doctor

will have you de-pinked.

We better hit it.

It closes at four.

No problem.

[scream]

It's...

It's...

[Woody]

What gives, Herb?

[crashing and banging]

The Unikraken!!

[gasp]

The Unikraken?

What? Where?

Here?

No...

No, there!

Somewhere on that planet

was the last reported sighting

of the elusive creature.

All my life I've

dreamed of proving

the existence of

the Unikraken,

and this

could be the day!

[sigh]

But...

We have to get Burt

to the eye doctor.

My eye can wait a little.

Right, little buddy?

[deep, slow voice]

Ohhhhh yeah.

Wahooo!

Hold on--

Burt, have you used this today?

No...

Something just

moved in the trees!

We can pop down

for a quick look,

and if there's

no Unikraken...

We'll hop back on Woody

and get Burt to the eye doctor

faster than you can say--

Burt, stop touching your eye!

Let's do this!

Super awesome Unikraken

friendship adventure!

[♪♪♪]

You mine, Unikraken.

Herby's gonna be a legend.

Hey, Herb,

what's that?

[Herby]

This, little lady,

is the Unikraken Tracker

One Thousand.

Ordered it from the back

of Unikraken Monthly.

It's state of the art.

[making beeping sounds]

[whispering] Does he know his

mouth is making those sounds?

[beeping sounds]

It's beeping faster!

We must be close.

Look!

[beeping sounds]

The Unikraken floats!

The lack of footprints

must mean...

...we're hot on its trail!

It's here.

Right, unless

the lack of footprints

means the Unikraken

isn't here.

I-- I mean "right here" here,

not "here on the planet" here.

Hey, I supported you

when you wanted to

take Burt to the eye doctor

'cause you thought

he had pink eye.

But he does have pink eye.

We don't know that for sure.

[sigh]

You're right.

The Unikraken can wait.

No, no-- Finding the Unikraken

is your life's dream.

And we wanna be

a part of that.

You can be in dreams?!

Aw, you guys are the best!

[shushing]

Did you hear that?

It's the deafening silence

of something trying

NOT to be heard.

C'mon!

Wow.

He's good.

Er, yeah...

or the Unikraken doesn't exist

and he's making up clues.

But he just heard it

not make a sound!

[sigh] Burt, maybe

there's a valid reason

why no one's ever seen

the Unikraken

and that it's only ever

referred to as a myth.

[Burt]

A myth?

Like what they say about

gravy-flavoured bubble gum?

[Kirbie] Yeah, but it's

our job to support Herby

no matter how crazy

his ideas are...

And he's got a lot of them.

[sigh]

[♪♪♪]

[♪♪]

[sniff]

Guys, do you smell that?

It's the Unikraken's

odorless musk!

Hurry!

Look!

It didn't have time to

eat these poisonous fruits

because it knows we're

in hot pursuit!

We'll give him

five more minutes.

See this broken branch?

It's getting careless.

But he broke the branch

climbing up the tree--

Oh, right.

"Supporting..."

[sniffing]

[fly buzzing]

Well, Herb,

looks like we must've missed

the Unikraken after all,

and it's getting late,

soooo...

Maybe it's time to get Burt

to the eye doctor?

Unikraken droppings!

Spectacular.

I'm getting a sample.

Herby, you can get

diseases doing that!

Like diarrhea, E. coli,

or, like, pink eye!

Ewww!

Okay, no more pretending to

believe in Herby's dreams.

If poop is in my eye,

I want it out!

"Pretending?"

I mean, but we really

should get going.

Besides...

[whispered] We really

haven't found anything.

[gasp]

Yeah, tell that

to my bag of poop!

[coughing, gagging]

We'll take it with us,

and you can analyze it on the

way to the doctor, right, Burt?

Whatever you say,

poop eye.

[Kirbie]

I don't have pink eye.

I have pink eye!!

High five!

Twinsies!

Herby, I want you to

follow your dream,

but if we don't get to

the doctor before it closes,

the school will put us in...

[gulp] ...quarantine!

Noooo!

Please, Herby!

I can't survive

on infirmary food!

I can't!

[sobbing]

Quarantine!

[Burt crying]

Meat should never

be a mystery!

[anxious groan]

Aw, you're right, Kirbie.

I'm sorry.

I don't know what

came over me.

Phew!

It's okay.

We can come back

and search another time.

Aw, that would be awesome.

Race ya back to Woody!

See?

I knew he'd be reasonable.

[Kirbie]

He WHAT?!

[Woody]

Nothing weird.

He ran in,

grabbed his Unikraken book,

and then took off screaming,

"I will be a legend!"

...In retrospect,

it was kinda weird.

Wow, Herby's really

lost it this time.

And I'll lose it too

if I have to eat

frozen infirmary corn!

I know!

We'll take off and

look for him from above.

[Woody]

That reminds me--

The Herbster took my

spark plugs, too.

So you can't fly?

[Woody] Can't see very well,

either, come to think of it.

You have pink eye too?!

I can't believe

Herby fooled us.

Yeah, and I'm not

easily fooled.

We have to get him

back to the ship.

And how are we

supposed to do that, huh?

Dress up as the Unikraken

in an elaborate attempt to

lure Herby back to the ship?

[laugh] Yeah, right.

Sure.

[♪♪♪]

How do we look, Woody?

[Woody]

Totally convincing... I assume.

The peepers aren't at

a hundred percent.

All it needs is

the finishing touch... Burt?

[honk]

All horned up!

Now, let's go get our friend.

[Burt gasping and

grunting with effort]

[Burt gasping and

grunting with effort]

-Left!

-[Burt bellowing]

No, other left...

No, no, other left!

-[bellow]

-[sigh]

Right.

Oof!

[♪♪♪]

[Herby]

No one believes old Herby...

But you're real.

And when I find you,

they'll know I'M for real,

and we'll both be legends

that are really REAL!

[crazed laughter]

[mysterious roar from outside]

[voice]

Ahem...

Huh?

What's that?!

The Unikraken?

[gasp]

I'm commmmiiiin--

It's really him!

[excited scream]

Herbyyyyyy!

[both scream]

[Herby, Kirbie, Burt

shouting in pain]

[Herby and Kirbie scream]

-I got 'im!

-Ouch!

[gasp]

I can't believe I got 'im!

I got 'im!

[Kirbie]

Herby, calm down.

It's us!

Kirbie?

Burt?

Surprise?

Huh?

But you're not--

[gasp]

You tried to trick me?

We believe that YOU believe

there is a Unikraken,

but discovering it

won't make you a legend...

Oooh, that is cold!

Not finished, Burt.

...Because you already

ARE a legend to us--

a beautiful,

sometimes very insane,

pink-eyed legend.

Aw, naaaah.

Heh. Go on.

You always do

super things for us.

Yeah?

Awww, like what?

[Kirbie]

You found a cheap eye doctor,

you ate that ball of eye wax,

you pooped out meatballs,

you held your pee

for three days...

[Herby]

Maybe I am pretty legendary.

[Woody]

We gotta jet, man.

The eye doctor's closing

in a few minutes!

I'll be back, Unikraken.

Can't hide from me forever...

[gasp]

[gasp]

♪ [dramatic chord] ♪

Unikraken!

[rapidly repeating

"I saw it! I saw it!"]

Woody!

Spark plugs!

[Woody gulps,

motor starts]

Yaaaay!

Oof!

Ow.

[rapidly repeating

"I saw it! I saw it!"]

Sure you did, bud.

Sure you did.

So beautiful,

that eyeball...

Oh! It spoke to me.

I love it!

It's so marvelous,

and beautiful, and I love it...

[Col. Cork]

Attention!

Cadets, when it comes

to exploring space

there is nothing

more important,

more crucial,

more glorious than...

having a clean locker.

Lame.

-Bor-ing.

-I knew it.

Anyone caught

with a filthy locker

will receive a month

of detention in...

The anti-gravity room!

[screams]

Yikes!

There will be a locker

inspection in thirty seconds.

Commence panic...

[stopwatch ticks]

Now!

[all screaming]

Goodbye Roller Donnie.

Goodbye Glamour Donnie.

You were

my favourite of me.

Garbage, garbage!

Mmm.

Surely Cork

will see the value

in a perfectly formatted

pudding cup tower.

[sobbing]

What's wrong,

Kirbie?

Yikes!

But no worries.

We can totally

get this clean!

Let's strip

this baby bare.

I have cleaning supplies.

Burt, no!

I can't get rid

of this stuff.

It all has

sentimental value!

Dead batteries?

I'll never give up on you!

Old undies?

You still smell terrific!

Ew...

[Kirbie]

Old toothbrushes!

They fought

so many cavities

they're basically

w*r heroes!

w*r heroes!

[battle cry]

Dude, you'll get detention

in the floaty room.

I'm sure Cork

will understand.

Detention!

Detention!

Detention! Detention!

Yeah, I don't know

if it's worth the risk.

Okay, maybe I'll

get rid of...

Everything!

Let's do it.

Done!

Now go-go-go!

I don't know

who's locker this is, but...

Detention!

Goodbye,

chewed gum.

Bon voyage,

broken hair ties.

See ya later,

snotty tissue.

Don't worry.

You're going

to a better place.

Please present trash

to Waste Bot for disposal.

No!

[grunting efforts]

Error. Error.

Error. Error...

Huh?

Is something in there?

[meows]

Hello!

Were you living

in my locker?

Aww, you're a cutie!

[meows]

What's that?

You want me to keep you

and name you Poofy?

Oh, I wish I could,

but no pets

are allowed on campus.

[meows]

Of course your love

is worth a million academies.

But we'd be living

with Herby and Burt.

If we're caught,

they'd get in trouble too.

Uh, I can't risk that.

Waste Bot must

dispose of trash.

Poofy's not trash!

[gasps]

You're staying with me.

It'll be our secret.

If anyone asks,

you're a hair bun.

[phlegmy inhale]

Shhh, hair buns

don't talk.

Waste Bot is getting

too old for this trash.

[♪♪♪]

There, doesn't it feel good now

that you tossed all that junk?

Yes.

Because that

is what I did.

I got rid of it.

All of it.

[meows]

Uh...

What was that?

Nothing.

That's a noise I make now.

Meow-purr-meow...

Meow.

I'm working on

some noises too.

Here's a banana

graduating high school.

[odd moans]

Hey, cool hairdo.

Don't touch him!

I mean...

You might scare him away.

I mean...

you'll mess it up.

Took a lot

of time and hairspray.

Okay!

Say, can you do a thumb

getting home from the gym?

Can I?

[odd moans]

[groans]

Your hair sure

is growing fast.

Well, I have been

feeding it more...

Uh...

A vitamin shampoo to keep

it healthy and strong.

[spits]

What shampoo

are you using?

Kirbie.

Did your hair just-

Hey, do I hear

an ice cream ship?

We'll talk about it later!

Aww, did someone

have a little spit up?

Coochie-coochie-woo.

Oh no!

My precious Poofy-Woofy

must be sicky-wicky!

I'll take care of you.

[purrs]

False alarm.

Hey...

didn't I have a bed?

Uh, no.

You sleep standing up.

Really?

Huh.

[snores]

Kirbie,

your hair's crooked.

Here, I got it-

[growls]

[screams]

[gasps]

Herby! Are you okay?

It! Hair!

Alive! Spiky!

My hair alive?

Hehe, no it isn't.

Maybe it is.

[growls]

Shh! Poofy.

Shh, Poofy-Poof.

[snoring]

This is a weird dream.

Okay, I found him

in my bag of locker treasure.

I know we aren't allowed pets,

but he needed me!

And besides,

look how cute he is.

[meows]

[both scream]

Ignore that part.

I dunno...

An acid-barfing spike ball

might be trouble.

Trouble?

Poofy isn't trouble!

You just don't

understand him.

We're leaving!

Actually,

could you guys leave?

If I'm caught with him

I'm totally gonna

get in trouble.

[snores]

[♪♪♪]

Hey, Professor,

say someone found a furry,

ball shaped animalish

thing with one eye...

Would it make

a good present?

Hmm...

You mean like this?

[Burt]

Nope.

-This?

-Nope.

[Professor]

Hmm, well, how about...

This?

[Burt]

Yeah, that one.

Yes, well, it would make

a great present...

For your worst enemy!

Uh, go on.

Furious-Ballus-Badus

is highly dangerous

with a yikes factor

of fifty.

It spits acid

and it sh**t spikes!

Pfft, tell me about it.

And it grows up

extremely fast.

Worst part?

When it gets big enough,

its eyes turn blue

and that's when...

It eats its mother!

"The terrible blues"

they call them, yes.

But, anyway, a human would

never have to worry about that.

[both sigh]

Unless they had one

as a pet of course.

[laughs]

Then, chomp.

Bye-bye, legal guardian!

[laughs]

You want a pet

for your friend? Cats.

Kirbie, you gotta

get rid of Poofy!

[both scream]

We're too late!

[cries]

What are you guys

boo-hooing about now?

I was just

brushing his teeth.

Kirbie,

you can't keep him.

They eat their parents.

The second his eye turns blue,

we're done for!

Poofy would never hurt me!

We love each other

too much.

Right, cutie?

[gasps]

[growls]

[roars]

[gasp]

-He tried to eat me!

-Run!

[roars]

[all scream]

[all shuddering]

I can't believe

he's acting like this.

After all

I've done for you!

[growls]

[roars]

[all scream]

[panting]

[all scream]

That was close.

That too!

Where did I go wrong?

I did everything I could

to give him a good home.

Wait a second.

That's it!

We need to take it home.

All we need is

an extra large cat carrier.

That's acid proof.

And spike resistant.

Padding optional.

[gasps]

I have the perfect thing.

Come on!

[cadets screaming]

Oh, Poofy!

Oh, Poof-Poof!

[giggles]

[♪♪♪]

Now stay in there!

And think about

what you've done.

I'm glad that's over.

Yeah, thanks for the help.

And for getting Poofy

back to his home planet.

Yeah,

thanks for that, Burt!

I didn't take him back.

Well, I didn't

take him back.

Then where's Poofy?

[Cork] And why are there spikes

coming out of this locker?

[all gasp]

This is not a clean--ahh!

[roars and screams]

♪ Three ♪

[♪♪♪]

♪ Three ♪

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♪ Three ♪

[♪♪♪]

♪ Three ♪

[♪♪♪]

♪ Three ♪

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♪ Three ♪

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♪ Three ♪
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