01x03 - Hello Timmy

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Scare PewDiePie". Aired: February 10 – April 6, 2016.*
PewDiePie encounters terrifying situations and sets inspired by his favorite survival horror video games he previously played on his YouTube channel. (Thanks for the shout-out PewDiePie! We appreciate it!! :))
Post Reply

01x03 - Hello Timmy

Post by bunniefuu »

- Ahh!

I don't bloody
think that's fun.


I'm not having this.

How's it going, bros?

This is PewDiePie.

You're about to watch me
get the absolute sh*t

scared out of me.

[screaming]

This show takes
what I already do,

getting scared
of horror games,


but taking it
to the next level,


a really f*cked up level.

Do-do-do-do-do.

What the f*ck is this?

So if you love watching
me get scared shitless...


I got to go!

You're gonna love
"Scare PewDiePie."

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

How's it going, bros?

It's PewDiePie.

Good morning.
- Good morning, man.

- How's it going?
- Good.

How was your day off?
- It was great.

- What'd you do?

- I went into a coma.

- [laughs]
You did?

- Just sleep all through it.

- Did you rest up?

- Yeah.

- I saw you posted a video.

- I am not okay.

Let's just say
things got really weird

in the physical.

- I'm not going with you.
- Calm down.

- I'm not going with you.

- Calm down, calm down.
- Are you okay?

- I'm glad today is over.

- Have you looked
at any comments?

- Everyone wanted
to know what I'm doing.

- Well, on behalf of
the American hospitals,

I feel like they've been
put in a very bad light.

- [laughs]

- Well, today is gonna
be pretty easy.

- All right.

- You looking like you don't--
you don't believe me.

- [laughs] I don't believe
anything anymore.

- Why not?
- I don't know.

'Cause I don't trust
you guys anymore.

What do you want me to say?

- Why?

What did we do
to betray your trust?

- I--well, like, Saturday.

I thought we were done,
and then all of a sudden,

I get a hoodie over my head.

Is anyone there?

- You may remove
your blindfold.


- Okay.

Oh, f*ck this.

- Well, we--we--
you know, things--

- Don't play so innocent.

- Things changed.

- I don't know, all right?

Let's just go.

- All right, let's go.

Come on.

I feel like if we're gonna bond,
you should trust me.

- [laughs]
Well, maybe.

- All right, Felix.

You know the routine.

- No.
- Sorry, dude.

- f*ck you.

- I'm sorry.

- Are you serious right now?

- Yep, I'm serious right now.

- Oh, man.

You said we were gonna
look at a location.

- I lied to you.

- You f*cking lied to me.

- I lied to you.

- I'm going
to record everything.

- You're vlogging
with a hood on.

- So people can see
how you're abusing me.

Hey, what are you doing?

Why would you drive so fast?

I don't like this.
- Okay.

- Do you want me to throw up?

Is that it?

Whose van is this?

'Cause it's gonna
have puke in it.

Mr. Pie would like
a time out and a smoothie.

- Tell you what.

You're gonna do a game play.

- Oh, God.
- Any idea, any guesses of what?

- We're by the sea, right?

- Mm-hmm.

- Is it "Jaws"?

It's like a shark horror game?

I ain't--I ain't having that.

[electronic music]

♪ ♪

- Let's go this way.

- This does not feel like beach.

- Here's a fence
on your right.

Follow the fence, okay?

- I feel like an old--old man
walking his last road.

My time has come.

This is it.

No more PewDiePie.

No more "Scream"s.

No more--
- Ahh!

- Oh, and they want to--fun.

- Where are you at?

- I don't know where I am at.

Hopefully somewhere safe.

You said the ocean.

Is there an ocean?
- Yep.

Just do one foot.

Good--no, no.

Closer, closer, closer, closer.

- Closer, closer, closer.

- Oh, for f*ck's sake.

- Okay, go, go, go, go.
- Go, go, go.

- Yeah!

What is this?

The f*ck?

- [screams]
- What?

- Watch the spider web.

Let's just go this way.

- What spider webs?

f*ck you.

- This way.
- What is this?

- This way.
- Seriously.

- This way.

Step up a small step.

- Okay, I think
maybe over here.

- Okay.

Great, let's just
put you--and stop.

- Hands out.

- They are out.
- Palms up.

Palms up like this,
then together,

'cause now you're going
to receive something.

- It better not be creams.

I hate creams.

- Okay, gentle, gentle.

Be careful.

- What the f*ck is this?

[screaming]

What is this?

What the f*ck is this?

I'm not having this.

[eerie music]

♪ ♪

Hello?

[echoing thump]

What is going on?

Where am I?

Hello?

Hello?

No, no, no.

[distant giggling]

No, guys.

No.

Oh, f*ck.

- Hi, Felix.

- Yeah, yeah.

- Welcome to my game.

- No.

- Put down my baby-doll.

- It's a baby?

But this is little Timmy.

I can't let Timmy down.

- Careful.

- About what?

- Take your blindfold off.

[eerie music]

- What the f*ck?

What the f*ck is this?

Timmy!

♪ ♪

What the sh*t is going on?

- Welcome to my favorite game.

- This is f*cked up.

I thought this was, like,
coconut oil

or something nice.

What the sh*t happened?

I did not do this to Timmy.

Who are you?

- Mr. Felix,
you can stand up now.


- Okay.

What the f*ck is this?

- We have to play a game
to find my mommy and daddy.


Understand?

- Okay.

- Look around the room...
- Yes.

- And tell me what you see.

- This is--it looks like
there was a fire here

or something like that.

Or really, really old.

I see an old TV,

moldy walls,

ducks.

I don't want to be here.

- My mommy and daddy
are missing,


and you have to
help me find them.


- For f*ck's sake.

Okay, how do I do that?

- Sometimes the lights go out.

- The lights are gonna go off?

No, no, no, no,
no, no, no, no, no.

- When the lights go out,
things change.


- Yes.

- When the lights
come back on...


- Uh-huh.

- You're gonna have to
spot what's different.


If you're right,
you'll be safe.


If you're wrong...

- Yeah?

- You'll be
my friend forever.


- Okay, fine.

I'll play your game.

Whatever.

You got Timmy.

- Let's play a game.

- God damn it.

[children giggling]

[eerie music]

Timmy, did you put those there?

Timmy, this is not cool.

God damn it.

Timmy, what'd I tell you
about baby heads?

I don't like that.

Now your--your head is fine.

I'm sorry.

Those, no.

Okay, there's three baby heads.

They were definite--
I'm, like, % sure

they were not there before.

- Are you right?

Are you right?

- Yeah, % sure.

Well?

♪ ♪

Did I do it right?

Hello?

Come on.

- All right now.

Out go the lights.
- Oh, God.

- It's time to play
in my room.


- Oh, come on.

Timmy, don't be scared.

It's not real.

- Isn't my room pretty?

- Yes.

[tinkling music]

Okay.

There's your
little sister, Sally.

- Take a look around.

Tell me what you see.

- Uh, dolls.

It's a bedroom
with dolls in it.

And stuff.

Some books, a phone,
glasses, a fan.

I don't know
what to tell you.

- That's what you're
supposed to tell me.


Is there anything else you see?

- Oh, God, all right, wait.

Oh, there's a cross,
a painting.

- Very good.

I hope you can remember it all.

- Got it.

Oh, no.

- Uh-oh.

- Oh, f*ck.

Come on.

Okay.

- What's different?

- The doll;
the doll is gone.

It was on the chair before.

It's not on the chair anymore.

- Oh, you're doing so well.

You're going to punish me
at every turn.


- Yes we are, Timmy.

Yes, we are.

- Turn around.

- Oh, come on.

- Help me find my pet.

- Oh, God.

[suspenseful music]

♪ ♪

- Oh, what the sh*t is that?

Is that a real?

That better not be real, Timmy.

Timmy, you go check.

The snake--
the snake--

there was no snake there,
all right?

I'm pretty sure I would have
remembered if there was a snake.

Is that a deadly snake?

No, you're f*cking with me.

[disembodied laughter]

[shrill scream]

- Oh, bloody hell.

- My mom is gone.

Where did she go?

- What do I do?

- Help me find my mommy.

- Okay.

- [crying]
Felix, help me.


- Find your mom.

[eerie music]

♪ ♪

Okay, kitchen.

Got it.

Okay.

Damn, this kitchen is ugly.

[laughs]

Someone needs to clean.

Where's your mom?

Or dad?

I'm not judging.

- Take a look around
and tell me what you see.


- Come on.

Okay, a ton of cans.

A lot of old cans.

There's dirty dishes.

A chair, an oven.

Okay.

I think I got it remembered.

- Are you sure?

- No.
[laughs]

- Turn around.

- Okay.

Come on, Timmy.

We got this.

The oven wasn't open.

Was there anything else?

- Congratulations.

- Yes!

Timmy, you're the best.

That's disgusting.

[eerie music]

Oh, come on.

[disembodied laughter]

Okay.

Now what?

"Get out."

I'd be happy to do that
if that's what you want,

but that painting
was not there before.

You know what?

If you don't want me
to be here, that's fine.

You can just tell me.

You don't have to
do that kind of sh*t.

- It's a painting of me.

Mommy said it
doesn't look like me.


[distant screaming]

- It def--not--okay.

All right.

Oh, God.
- Mommy can make me sad.


- What the f*ck?

What the sh*t is that?

Oh, hell no.

- [crying]

- Come on.

Hello?

- [crying]

- Little girl?

Are you okay?

- [crying]

- I'll help you.

Just don't--don't yell at me.

Don't be scared.

PewDiePie is here.

[suspenseful music]

Hello?

- I don't like
playing with you anymore.


- Are you okay?

- You make me sad.

- [screams]

- [screaming]
Bloody hell.

f*ck that sh*t.

Okay.

I'm done.

All right.

It's been great.

[shrieking]

Oh, God.

Okay.

Just gonna be over here.

[dramatic music]

♪ ♪

Dude.

Dude, dude, dude, dude,
are you okay?

Oh, God, what the--
what the f*ck?

- [coughing]

- Okay, you might want--
all right.

Camera guy down.

Camera guy down.

f*cking hell.

God.

♪ ♪

No, no, no.

[door clicking]

What was that?

What was that?

Wait, there's something moving.

- Time to play
with Mommy and Daddy.


- No.

[screaming]

Okay, I got to go.

Help!

Timmy, Timmy, he's crazy.

He's crazy, Timmy.

Timmy!

Let me go, let me go.

Let me go, let me go, let me go.

Okay, I'm ready to go home now.

- Come out to play, Felix.

- Okay, all right,
this is cool.

This is great.

Great.

Not coming out.

I don't care.

Did I do it?

[screaming]

- What's up, man?

What just happened?

- I don't know
what to tell you, man.

I survived, all right?

But I lost a piece of myself.

- [laughs]

- That was f*cking crazy.

I didn't expect them
to be so rough with me.

It wasn't like a
haunted house or anything

where they're like, "Boo,"
and then run away.

It's like, "Yeah, we'll
wrap you up and sh*t."

[laughs]

- Congratulations,
you passed.

- Okay, great.

How many are we doing?

- I can't say.

- Will you say anything
that's not a lie

from now on?

- Yes.

The games are gonna
get harder...

- No.

- As we move forward.

- Seriously?
- Yeah.

- %?

- %.

- All right, bros.

I just passed another game.

On to the next one.

Thanks for watching this video.

Bro fist.

Oh, come on, guys.

I thought we finished
the thing, guys.

Come on.

What is that?

Timmy?

Okay, okay, I won.

Oh, God, God.

[laughs]

Come on.

- Go, go, go, go.
- Go, go, go, go.

- Yeah!

What is this?
- What happened to my socks?

- I don't know;
it looks bigger than a fish.

Well, you--I took my socks off.

- Mine are on.

- Step up.

Okay, good, good.

Are you okay?
Ready?

One, two, three.
- Are you f*cking kidding me?
Post Reply