01x05 - Please Enjoy Your Stay

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Scare PewDiePie". Aired: February 10 – April 6, 2016.*
PewDiePie encounters terrifying situations and sets inspired by his favorite survival horror video games he previously played on his YouTube channel. (Thanks for the shout-out PewDiePie! We appreciate it!! :))
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01x05 - Please Enjoy Your Stay

Post by bunniefuu »

- Ah! [speaking Swedish].

I am not having this!

How's it going, bros?
It's PewDiePie.

You're about to watch me

get the absolute sh*t
scared out of me.

Ah! No, no, no!
Oh, yah!

This show takes
what I already do,

getting scared of horror games,

but taking it
to the next level.


[gags]
A really f*cked up level.

Ah! Oh, hell no!

So if you love watching me
get scared shitless,


you're gonna love
"Scare PewDiePie."

[scary music]

♪ ♪

[cool jazz music]

[clapping]

[both whooping]

- Hey!
How's it going?

It's PewDiePie.

This gate doesn't open,

so...
[laughs], I can't do this.

These jeans are too tight.

I can't.

Okay.

Yeah.

Whoa. Ah!

Ah. All right, bros.

Oh, sh*t.
- What happened?

- It's not--
why didn't you tell me?

- Well, that's what it looked
like it was breaking.

- They're gonna make me
pay for that.

We gotta...
[laughs].

- Yeah, it looks like
it just goes right in.

You hammer it in.
It looks like it--

- That was not me, though.
- Nope. That was already there.

Um, are you ready?

- Yes.
- All right. Let's go.

- Let's go.

[hip-hop music]

So where are we going?
- The bit we did last night?

There was problem
with the media.

They were corrupted.

The audio was all bad.

We got to redo the whole game

that we already played
last night.

[video game downer horn]

- You cannot be serious.

I hate redoing stuff.

That's like--I don't know.
It's not the same.

- I know it sucks to redo it,

and I--it's unusable.

Basically, when you went
in the slide?

- Yeah.

- That's what
messed up the audio.

- Are you kidding me right now?

Ah!

[screaming]

Part of me is like,

"That's really f*cking
annoying,"

and my other part of me
is like,

"There's no way
I believe this sh*t."

All right?

- Trust me.

- I know you guys by now,

and I feel--I smell--

I smell owls in the mud.

It f*cking sucks.

- But hey, rather than try
to hide the fact,

tell--tell 'em what's going on.

- All right, well, bros,

sometimes in life,
you f*ck up.

I don't, 'cause I'm perfect,

but these guys do, obviously.

It seems like the audio

didn't come through

in the last game play,

so I will go through it again,

and, uh,
I want you bros to see it.

[mischievous game music]

♪ ♪

- PewDiePie's gonna be here
very soon, guys.

We gotta go, go, go.

- If possible, you'll do
the last line of dialogue,

which is--
- [gags]

[laughter]

[suspenseful music]

♪ ♪

- Does any of this
look familiar to you?

- Oh, yeah, no, I remember this.
- Have you been here before?

- I have definitely,
most certainly,

been here yesterday.

That table wasn't there, though.

Things are changing.
- Okay.

Put this on, 'cause I don't want
to put a hood over you.

- Okay, what the fu--
[laughs].

You shouldn't have told me,
'cause I wouldn't have known.

Seriously?
- Yeah.

Just as a blackout.

It'll be fine.
- Okay.

Do I look cool?

'Cause I feel like I look cool.

- I'm gonna lead you
to the start of the game.

Move forward, move forward,
move forward--stop.

- Good, good. Okay.
- Okay. Stop.

- What is this?
- Stop.

- Are you f*cking kidding me?

- We're trying to do stuff
that's different, okay?

- Okay, but--
- Enjoy the difference.

- I don't like the differences.
- Okay?

- Ah! Ah! Whoo!

- Is that better?
- No.

- Whoa!
- Oh! Oh!

I don't trust Kevin
to do this sh*t.

- All right.
- I don't like this!

May I put my feet in--
- No--no--uh, you can.

I mean, it's--you're...

Is that better?
- Yeah, this is better.

- Go ahead, go in, please.
Go in.

- Oh, my God, can I get off?
- Yeah.

- You need help?
- Get off. You got it?

- All right.
- Over here.

- Just to be clear,
we're doing the same thing.

Is there any...

- [screams]

- Ah!
[speaking Swedish].

f*ck you!
What the f*ck?

- Okay.
Hey.

Hey.
Good luck.

- f*ck.
- Okay?

All right.

Remember, you've
done this before.

- Okay, great.

God f*cking damn it.

Just no more yelling
in my face, please.

That'd be...super.

[creepy music]

- [woman screaming]
- Oh, jävla!

- [screaming]

[radio buzzes]
- Remove the googles.


- Great.

What the f*ck?

[scary music]

♪ ♪

[chainsaw roars]
- Ah!


- [laughing]

Man--guys,

this is not the same.

I don't know if you're aware.

[elevator music]

♪ ♪

Great.

What the f*ck?

[eerie music]

That is fantastic.

This is...great.

Just--[gasps]!

Oh, yah!
Bloody fun!

Okay.
[laughing]

What were you doing there?

- Welcome to the hotel.
- Oh, thank you.

Jesus Christ.

What were you doing there?

- Pardon our appearance
while we renovate.

- No, it's fine.
I'm glad you cleaned up.

- We've had
a few incidents recently.

- Okay.

- I sure hope
no one else gets m*rder*d.

- Me too?

- Take a look around,
and make yourself at home.

- Okay, I'm a little scared
of looking around now.

Jesus f*cking Christ.

[suspenseful music]

That isn't open.

♪ ♪

Very nice hotel.

- Let me know if you see
anything unusual

while you look for your key.

- There--oh, I have
to find the key.

Um--well, I mean,

there's a lot of
paintings missing.

Ah!

Right?

No?

So where is my room?

- Now, that looks unusual.

[suspenseful music]

♪ ♪

- Oh, ho, ho, ho!

That was a huge one.

Okay.

It's a very weird hotel,

but I'll take it.

So...

That must be my room.

Okay.

- Please enjoy your stay.

- Thank you very much.

[suspenseful music]

♪ ♪

[elevator music]

♪ ♪

What the f*ck?

♪ ♪

Oh. What?

Wha...

[eerie music]

♪ ♪

[elevator music]

♪ ♪

Hi. Again.

[eerie music]

I think.

♪ ♪

[laughing]

Okay.

- Welcome to the hotel.

- Thank you.

- Pardon our appearance
while we renovate.

- Yes.

It's...okay.

- We've had
a few incidents recently.

- [laughing]

- I sure hope no one else
gets m*rder*d.

- [laughing]

Keep saying that.

Me too.

- Take a look around
and make yourself at home.

- All right.

Um...

I like what you've
done with the place.

- Let me know if you see
anything unusual

while you look for your key.

- [laughs]

There's a lot of things unusual.

Mom?

I don't--I'm just looking
for my key.

What? [laughs]

I'm terrible at these things.

Oh, what the...

What?
- Now that looks unusual.

- No!

No!

Timmy!

Timmy, what happened?

Timmy, what did they do to you?

Why did they do this?

How did you get here?

Timmy!

I don't like this place, Timmy.

Let's get out of here.

[high-pitched voice]
Okay, Pewds.

I love you, Pewds.
I love you too, Timmy.

Is this--is that it?

Okay.

Great.

Timmy, we're gonna make it
out of here alive.

Don't you worry.

Don't you worry.

Okay.

What the actual f*ck.

- Please enjoy your stay.

[suspenseful music]

♪ ♪

- What?

[elevator music]

[laughing]

f*ck up the audio.
Yeah, my ass.

I'm so confused.

♪ ♪

Aw, hell no.

Oh--yeah. [laughing]

- Welcome to the hotel.
- Thank you.

[eerie music]

Okay. Great.

- Pardon our appearance
while we renovate.

- Yes.

The m*rder.

- We've had
a few incidents recently.

- Had a few incidents.

- I sure hope
no one else gets m*rder*d.

- Keep saying that.

That's great.

- Take a look around.
Make yourself at home.

- Um...

Love what you've
done with the place.

Oh, fu--

- Let me know if you see
anything unusual

while you look for your key.

Is the key down there?

'Cause I ain't having that.

[suspenseful music]

f*ck me.
That's disgusting.

♪ ♪

[sighs]

All right, I'm gonna look
everywhere else,

and if I can't find the key,

I might have to...

Jesus f*cking Christ.

- Let me know if you see
anything unusual

while you look for your key.

♪ ♪

- [sighs]

God damn it.

God damn it, Timmy.
I don't want to--

I don't want to do that.

I really, really,

really, really

don't want to do that.

Oh, my God.

Where is the key?

- Let me know if you see
anything unusual

while you look for your key.

- Damn.

But where's the cleaning lady?

Or man.

[eerie music]

♪ ♪

[sighs]

They are so f*cking gross.

- Now that looks unusual.

- Sometimes, in life,

you're just gonna have to

do things you don't want to do,

and I really really don't want
to do this.

Aw!

That's disgusting!

That is some proper

non-cheeky Nando's right there.

f*cking smells like
triple anuses.

Aw!

- Let me know if you notice
anything unusual

while you look for your key.

- Mm-hmm. Thanks.
Appreciate it.

Look at my f*cking hand.

This is like larva sh*t.

All right, you know what?
New tactic. Timmy?

Timmy, I'll put you there.

[suspenseful music]

There you go.

♪ ♪

This is--
would you like some?

♪ ♪

Okay.

I'm used to it now.
This is so f*cking gross.

Jesus Christ.
Oh!

[gags]

f*ck...

Me.

f*ck...YouTube.

Where's the f*cking key?

Jesus f*cking--f*ck me.

There's a--[gasps] yes!

Yes!

Oh, thank God!

Timmy, I got it, Timmy!

Oh, man, I didn't think
we were gonna do it.

[sighs]

Oh, man, I could really use
a drink right now.

f*ck.

Is there a minibar in there?

♪ ♪

[burps] Oh, f*ck me.

[gags] I should not have
eaten before this.

Sorry, I almost
forgot you, Timmy.

You assh*le!

It's okay.

Great.

Yes!
I've never been this happy.

f*ck yes!

All right.

Good night--oh.

[chainsaw roars]

Oh, no, no, no!

Oh, hell no!

No, no!
- Please enjoy your stay.

- No!

No, f*ck that!

Okay!

What the f*ck?

Bad things happen
around you, Timmy.

[elevator music]

Why is there a chainsaw at
the f*cking hotel?

♪ ♪

It'll be fun.

Oh, it's you. Hey.

Oh, has there been
a m*rder here perhaps?

Pardon the mess.
- Welcome to the hotel.

- Yes, welcome very much.

- Pardon our appearance
while we renovate.

- Yes.

- We've had a few
incidents recently.

Pardon our appearance
while we renovate.

- Yes.

- I sure hope
no one else gets m*rder*d.

[eerie music]

Me too. I got to--what?

- Take a look around

and make yourself at home.

- Whoa.

What kind of--this is very un--

- Let me know
if you see anything unusual

while you look for your key.

- You keep saying that.

Okay--aw, no!

Mm!

Come on.

I don't--f*ck you.

That's not cool.

That's just not cool, guys.

- Let me know if you see
anything unusual

while you look for your key.

♪ ♪

- What is this?

Thought someone just--
- Now that looks unusual.

- [gasps] Yeah!

[laughing]

Well, it's got holes in it.
Alright.

I'm gonna wear this.

On my already dirty hand.

Like, it already looks like
I shoved my hand down there.

Yeah Okay. I don't really care.

Awesome.

What the--[sighs].
Uh, it keeps breaking.

Thanks for the glove, guys!

Thank you so much!
It really helps!

You're too--you're too kind.

I don't deserve this.

Okay, Timmy, we're just
gonna grab down there.

Yeah, yes, this is great--
[gasps]

I found it right away!

[laughs]
Joke's on you, assholes!

[laughs]
All right, all right.

Okay.

Yeah, good times.
Thank you very much.

f*cking yes.

I'm the man.

The ma--manly, manly man.

Easy--
- Please enjoy your stay.

[suspenseful music]

Thank you very much.

[mumbles]

♪ ♪

Whoo!

How do I get out of this?

Just no more chainsaws.

I have a major allergic reaction
to chainsaws.

We're gonna get
out of here, Timmy.

You're my rock, Timmy.

Without you,
I wouldn't be able to be here.

[chainsaw roars]

- Come on...
- Oh, hell no!

Hell no!

f*ck that!
- Come on, little piggy!


[chainsaw roars]
Come on, little piggy!


- That's f*cked up.

- Come on, little piggy,
open that door!


- I--the door is locked, I--
- Time for you to check out!


[elevator music]

[chainsaw roars]
-
[screams]

Aah!
Oh, my God!

[screaming]

Ah! Ah! Ah!

Oh, f*ck this!

[scary music]

Ah!

♪ ♪

- Please enjoy your stay.

♪ ♪

- I can't!

♪ ♪

Yes.

Great idea, Pewds.

[chainsaw roars]

- Come out!

Wherever you are!

Come on, little piggy!
Come on, little piggy!

Come on, little piggy!

[chainsaw roars]

- Don't worry, Timmy.

I won't let him get you.

[suspenseful music]

♪ ♪

[elevator music]

Oh, f*ck me. Oh my God.

Okay. Okay.

- Little piggy!

Come out, come out,
wherever you are!


Come on, little piggy!

Where are you?

Time to check out,
little honeydew!


[music slows down]

- Oh, sh*t.
f*ck me.

[music slows down]

- [panting]

[chainsaw roars]

Come on!

[scary music]

♪ ♪

- [screams]
- [speaking Swedish]!

Oh, what the f*ck?

Ah.

♪ ♪

Oh, sh*t.

Oh, sh*t.
Are you Okay?

Oh, my God.

Oh, my God.
What the f*ck?

- Oh, f*ck!
Okay, I'm sorry!

It--it's locked.

No! Ah! Ah!

Ah!

- Jesus Christ! Okay!
Alright.

♪ ♪

- Hey, dude.

What is all this noise in here?
- Man, f*ck you.

- Hey!

[scary music]

♪ ♪

What happened, man?
- Oh, man!

I thought we were
re-sh**ting the thing,

and...

That was f*cking terrifying.

Oh, my God.
- Was it disorienting?

- Yeah.
It was really f*cking weird.

It was really cool, though.

I'm glad I got Timmy, though.

Timmy helped me pull through.

Yes.

- So it was
a little bit different

than the previous game.

- Yeah, it wasn't like anything,
I would say.

- Uh, we got good audio
this time.

- Oh, great.
- So, uh...

- Ah, that's great.

- We can definitely
use this version.

- Great news for me.

It really felt
like a video game too.

This one really felt
like a game,

which is really cool
to be in.

Key is kind of, like,
very video game-ish, right?

So it's--you have to
find a key

to get through the door, right?

- I could tell
we got you immersed because

you were looking under the--
the carts, the--the--

- Yeah, okay.
- Thing and all that stuff.

- [screams]
- Ah!

Ah, f*ck--no!
- Ah!

- No!

Oh, f*ck you!

[laughter]

No! Timmy!

Timmy, what the f*ck?
- Oh, sh*t!

- No! No!

Glue!

Get glue!

Medic!
- Timmy. Timmy!

- Medic!

[touching piano music]

♪ ♪

Why are you just standing there?

Call an ambulance!

[cries]
Tim-pants. Dead.

[sniffles]

[elevator music]

♪ ♪

- [woman screaming]
- Oh, jävla!

- [screaming]

♪ ♪
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