Kick
-off December 12th.
Seven weeks rehearsal.
Names of all you budding starlets to Mr.
Ponting or myself before Tuesday.
All right? Committees.
Get the finger out, Charlie.
Angela's keeping the bed warm.
(All ) Whoo! If you'd stop titillating me, Jenny, I'll get through this as fast as All right, committees.
Terms of employmentcommittee Nurses' residents committee.
Oh, sorry, sub
-committees.
The room is out of commission, as you all know, because of an electrical fire.
- Started by the DHSS.
- (All) Yeah.
And while we're on the subject of things that crawl (All) Ooh! .
.
the Fight The Cuts group are holding an open meeting in the George And Dragon, Tuesday, eight o'clock.
Now, all of you may know what this issue is about but I promise you, people out there don't.
For all they know, we're fighting for impromptu skiing holidays
- or plush upholstery for the staff room.
- I am! What we are fighting for is people's right not to die because of a lack of kidney machines in one of the richest countries in the world.
We are fighting for people's right not to die if they get knocked down because the nearest casualty department has been shut down.
You're fighting for people's rights not to die of exposure during one of Charlie's monologues.
Thank you for that contribution, comrade.
All I'm saying is that the public has got to be made aware that it's their families' and their kids' lives that are being discarded.
So what we need is PR.
That's the first task of this union.
George And Dragon, Tuesday, eight o'clock.
(Various) Right.
Right, that's it.
Aren't you gonna say, "Let's do it to them before they do it to us"? Jenny darling, they've been doing it to me for years.
All right, hang on, before you all go, Nurse Duffin would like to say a few words.
(Applause) That cinema place has started showing these p*rn films again.
They're even showing these nurse movies and I'm sick of it.
We've complained but they just ignore us.
So now we've had enough.
It's got to stop.
Finito.
We have had enough.
Tomorrow there is an all
-day picket on that cinema and I'm organising staff from the night shift to picket in the afternoon, which is usually when the dirty
-mac men with their minute mickies crawl in there.
(Wolf whistles, miaows) You'll all have to come tomorrow and I'll give you the details tonight at work.
- Right, well, that's it.
- (All) Yes!
- All right, love?
- Yes.
Well? Did he say anything?
- What do you mean?
- Well, the doctor.
What would he say, for heaven's sake?
- Did he give you tablets?
- What would he give me tablets for? Women's tablets.
How do I know? You should have been a consultant.
That cab is wasted on you.
Come on, we'd better go.
I'm going to be late.
Look, he said that I was run
-down, OK? Down at that Casualty we're all worked off our feet.
He did give me some tablets.
They're vitamin
-orientated tablets.
So now you know all.
- You got to see him again?
- No, I don't have to go back.
- Now, come on.
- Meg.
Sometimes I worry about you.
I worry about you too.
Come on.
You'll be coming back before we get there.
- Mind your backs.
Mind your backs.
- Excuse me, please.
Excuse me.
- Come on, get your finger out.
- All right.
- Excuse me, please.
- Mind your backs.
Ooh! Ow! Sorry, I'm going to have to evict you, my old son.
Emergency.
Shoo.
- (King) Funny colour, man.
- In this recession Right, let's do it.
Give me the gear.
Charlie, I hate to be bolshie but I am the clinical assistant.
- Posts.
- Posts.
Posts.
- Glue.
- Glue.
Glue.
Charlie? Oh.
Prisoner in three? Oh
- Wipe.
- Wipe.
- Net.
- Net.
Nuala's been knocked off her bike.
Hurt her arm and banged her noggin.
We'll take her to X
-ray to pose for a few pin
-ups and see if she's as pretty on the inside as she is on the out.
I'll get Kuba to chauffeur you up there.
There's a wino in three if you've got a mo.
OK.
See you later.
I'll bet it's a boy.
Don't you worry about the X
-ray.
The baby will be shielded.
They'll just take a quick snap, anyway.
OK? Her arm's fractured and she was out for about ten minutes.
I'd like to get some snaps of her head for Thalton to see.
All right.
Not to mention the fact that she's seven or eight months pregnant.
She looks about 12 years old.
She's 15.
She says her family are on holiday in Ireland but I reckon she's the one on holiday.
Can you check the address? I'm sure it's phoney.
And see if you can rustle up Thalton.
What about the baby? Well, it sounds OK but there is a chance the shock will bring her on.
- Clive?
- Uh
-huh.
Could you explain again, please? Dear Comrade Trzcinski, you are in Group B.
Yeah, here.
The games are three minutes each way.
The winner in Group B plays the winner in Group A.
Got it?
- Ah.
Er, yes.
Yes.
- All right.
Good.
- But, Clive?
- Uh
-huh.
- What happens if patient comes?
- Stop for injury time.
- Injury?
- Injury time.
- Got it? All right.
- Yes.
(Laughs) All right.
Kuba, the little girl who fell off her bike, to X
-ray.
- She's in four.
Megan's with her.
- Zoom
-zoom.
Zoom?
- How we doing businesswise?
- Well, I got all the money.
- Even Duffy's coughed up.
- Like stealing sweeties from kids.
You must be joking, man.
I had to do GBH.
She wanted to pay by cheque.
- How much in the kitty?
- 14 quid.
Watch out for Ewart.
Thinks it's his retirement fund.
Give Baz a hand in three, would you? All right, Charlie.
(Charlie) Walk on, walk on With hope in your heart ( Whistles You'll Never Walk Alone)
- Been having a word with Clive?
- Macroeconomics, Ewart.
- Seems to be pulling through.
- I'm not complaining.
It's early days yet but he's a good man, Charlie.
Ewart, watch my lips.
I am not complaining.
Booze is never an easy one to ride.
I don't like covering things up but we should give him our support.
Ewart, lay off me.
He's got the benefit of the doubt.
I'm rooting for him.
Only time will tell so let it take its course.
I want to stress that he needs all of us behind him.
Ewart, if it ain't broke don't keep trying to mend it.
Let sleeping dogs lie, OK? I'm on his side.
OK? Good.
- But will you come?
- I said I'd be there.
Great.
That'snine.
Listen, at the meeting earlier on, do you think do you think I put it over hard enough?
- Assertive, I mean.
- Real dynamite.
I felt like a wet sponge.
It's Billy, really.
He says I go round with my head in the clouds.
He says that I'm not assertive enough and should be more decisive.
I don't know, though.
Sometimes I'm sure that he's right.
And sometimes I think that he's probably wrongmaybe.
That's what happens when you take advice from Aquarians.
- (Charlie) Ch
-Ch
-Ch
-Chelsea
- Oh, God.
- Ch
-Ch
-Ch
-Chelsea
- Mr.
Harrison?
- Oi, pack it in.
- Wait there.
- Charming.
Get the police to check the Irish girlâÂÂs address.
His blood sugar is still only about one to two.
Let's give him 50 mil, 50% dextrose.
OK, I'll check it in half an hour again.
- Good evening.
- What the hell are you doing here? Came to see how these older women doctors get by.
God, it's lovely to see you.
I'd have thought you'd be in prison by now.
They could never get any of the paternity orders to stick.
Sorry, this is Clive King.
This is Ricky Carson.
We grew up near each other.
- How do you do?
- Hello.
Hi.
My God, you're a doctor.
I don't believe it.
- What's Natalie doing?
- She married a stockbroker.
Which is the sort of poetic justice younger brothers dream of.
(Man ) It's no good walking away from it, Megan.
It's not easy, for God's sake, but do you think walking away is going to help? You're going to have to follow it up for your own sake.
Megan.
What's the story with the pregnant girl? For God's sake.
She doesn't even know if she is pregnant or not.
Not for sure, anyway.
She said she began suspecting when her auntie stopped visiting.
- Did you get the name of the aunt?
- Charlie, her auntie is her period.
- Oh.
- It's her word, not mine.
Before you start lecturing her on childbirth, you'd better lecture her on conception.
She has no clue as to where it's going to come out and only the vaguest notion as to how it got in there! Christ, Charlie, it is criminal and it's wrong.
What kind of a way is that to bring up kids? It's like being in the Dark frigging Ages.
OK, calm down.
I never had a daughter, but if I had had a daughter, I would have told her about the basic facts of life.
OK, I surrender.
Pax.
Unconditionally.
Fainites.
I want to talk about this, Charlie.
We'll talk later.
But Errrgh! No.
1 :30.
Yeah.
Look, see who else you can get to come.
Good.
Billy's gonna make some placards.
A friend.
Er He is just a friend.
Oh, I dunno.
Stuff like "Stop sexual harassment", "Support the nurses", "p*rn is celluloid r*pe".
Hey, that one's really good, innit? I like that one.
I must tell him that one.
Look at that.
Work of art.
Well, you could always get a job as a slot machine, you know.
Kuba's just scored an own goal.
Way to go, Poland! Bye.
That heart att*ck turned out to be an epileptic fit.
Young university student.
They're bringing him here in seven minutes.
Charlie, where might I find the ever
-delightful Dr Samuels? She's with a patient in number eight.
The Irish girl? X
-ray's clean.
A perfectly formed skull, filled no doubt with vacuous nonsense.
And an undisplaced Coles' fracture.
Nothing a tube of Bostik won't mend.
What about the pregnancy? Not really my province.
Mr.
Harrison'll have a poke at her plumbing.
He doth hatch where I merely dispatch.
It should go to term, however.
I feel very sorry for the poor little thing.
We think she's run away from home.
It is one of my perennial sources of satisfaction that I am not a social worker.
- Hello, Casualty
- Ah.
Dr Samuels.
All done, Charlie.
You can hang my fractures in an art museum.
- (Baz) Mr.
Rupert Thalton, registrar.
- Is she awake?
- Dr Richard Carson.
- Locum.
Do you mean to specialise at all? I'm taking it easy for a year before I make any firm commitments, sir.
That acute appendicitis, the girl, she'll be here in ten minutes.
Thank you, Nurse Roach.
I'll examine her immediately she arrives.
A 13
-year
-old girl.
Would you care to play gooseberry, Dr Carlton? Or is it your intention to take it easy tonight as well?
- No, sir.
- Very good.
I shall see you in theatre.
- Yes, sir.
Oh, dear.
- Oh, the supercil Don't pansy about scrubbing up or I'll be in and out before your gloves are on.
Yes, sir.
- I'll show you where to go.
- Yes, please.
- One of these days, I'll
- Count to ten.
Have a word with the wee Irish girl.
See what you get out of her.
Some divvy had stuck a metal ruler between his teeth.
That's going to do an epileptic bloke a lot of good while he's having a fit.
Chip his jaw, break his teeth.
Another was trying to hold him down.
Wasn't harming anybody.
Just having a convulsion.
Suddenly everyone in the library's Rambo.
- People are only trying to help.
- Loosen the collar.
That's all they gotta do.
They're not gonna harm themselves.
What a melodrama.
People get alarmed.
"Hold him down.
Stick this in his mouth.
Poke this up his" Here.
Bloody cowboys.
If he wants to have a fit, that's his business.
Downright dangerous.
Should be an advert on television.
Thank you, Mr.
Ponting.
He'll be all right now.
"Hold him down.
" Bunch of Action Men, all of 'em.
- He's right, though.
- I know.
(Welsh accent) That's what's so flaming annoying.
- No incontinence.
- Good.
Diabetic card? Epilepsy card? Any anti
-convulsion tablets? Banker's card.
Mm.
Law student.
Appendix? Theatre four, yeah?
- I'll be with Megan.
- OK.
- Megan won't come to the demo.
- Really?
- You all right there?
- Yeah, OK.
None of the Royal College will stand up for anything.
We're all supposed to be toerags in this life, being grateful for peanuts, so that when we die we get a room in heaven with a bathroom suite.
Whoo! It is a great vocation.
If it's a vocation, Kuba, then it's about caring about patients.
All right, love, we'll soon be in theatre.
They're starting up the overture.
If you really care about the sick and the weak you should care about those who nurse them and try and look after them.
All right.
Tomorrow I come to demonstration.
Kuba Trzcinski will die with his sisters.
- Seriously? Will you come?
- Absolutely.
This film isboredom crucified.
- Eh?
- I know.
lI've seen it.
Ertomorrow I request my money back.
So
- How is she?
- She's gone back to sleep.
Still playing musical beds.
Sister Ryan will squeeze her into Maternity
- if the worst comes to the worst.
- Great.
- Any, er
- Shh! Go outside.
Did you get anything out of her? Address or anything? All I know is that she comes from a place called Kilgarvey.
Her parents wouldn't take kindly to the pregnancy so she hitched a lift to Rosslare, got an articulated lorry across.
The driver was coming to Bristol so she ended up here.
She's been here for six months, Charlie.
- No address?
- No.
She's been staying on people's floors.
They let her stay the odd night.
She hasn't seen a doctor.
God alone knows what she's been eating.
All right.
Look I don't know.
She's going upstairs tonight.
- Social services are gonna have to
- Charlie, for God's sake.
If I could put a Band
-Aid on her life, I would.
We haven't got the resources.
See that she's comfortable.
Kuba can take her up when he's back from theatre.
I'm sorry.
I don't quite understand.
It's cool.
Everything's fine.
Good.
Look, Mr.
Richards, I just need to establish a history.
Um, I got a bit dizzy.
I must have passed out.
It's fine now, though.
Has it happened before?
- Sorry?
- Have you had a fit before? I didn't have a fit.
UmI got a bit dizzy.
OK? Has the dizziness happened before? OK, look.
I, ermI think I knocked back a little more than I should.
Knocked what back? Uma couple of drinks.
In the library? Erm Not there, no.
Erbefore.
- Before you went into the library?
- Obviously.
Do you remember being in the library?
- Yes, I remember.
- Good.
Have you any history of epilepsy? Sorry, I beg your pardon? Have you ever suffered from epilepsy? What the hell are you talking about? Look, Mr.
Richards, I'm a doctor.
I'm trying to help you.
I'm sorry if the questions bother you but I have to ask them.
OK.
Look, I'm sure you mean well but can we get to the point now? Look, I'm fine.
Really.
I'd like to go now if that's all right.
I won't keep you any longer than is necessary.
You're probably feeling a bit disorientated.
How about a cup of tea? How's the jaw? The jaw's fine.
It may be a bit swollen.
Someone stuck a metal ruler in your mouth.
Do you have any recollection of that? I'd like to keep you in till the morning to run some tests.
Tests for what? What tests? Are you sure this hasn't happened before? What's happened? Mr.
Richards, you had an epileptic fit at the library tonight.
- I didn't! Don't talk crap.
Do you hear?
- Hey.
Everything is all right.
Just take it easy, OK? I'll get a doctor along to see you.
Five or ten minutes.
OK?
- How are we doing?
- Great.
I've only got to b*at Charlie and I'll be on top of Group A.
- I was four ahead
- I meant the patients.
They're fine.
They're all sick.
Susie fouled her way to the top of Group B.
Aren't you taking this a little seriously, Ewart? I was the fat boy at school.
Always the last to be picked.
Oh, yes, well, that explains everything.
Yes.
(Pager beeps) Excuse me.
I'm thinking about tomorrow.
I'll come.
Sorry? I said I'll come on your march thing tomorrow.
Oh.
Don't look at me like that.
If you don't want me I won't come.
No, no.
Come.
Yes.
Great, Megan.
Yeah.
- And I'm going to wear my uniform.
- Yeah.
Great.
Yes.
It's all very well saying the goldfish stole your dentures, Doris, but unless we got fingerprints the DA ain't got a case, do he? Sitting by the pond all night isn't gonna help, is it? What you want, you want to get yourself a garden gnome.
That's the fella for your goldfish, your common or gardengarden gnome.
Charlie, can I have a word? Yeah.
Er, don't go away, Doris, I'll be back in a minute.
Poor old dear.
What's up with her? They found her in the back garden.
She fell over, couldn't get up again.
Poor dear.
- Listen, are you coming tomorrow?
- No.
- Eh?
- I don't agree with it, that's all.
You don't agree with protesting?
- No, I don't agree with censorship.
- What? I know that's not what you're doing it for but that's what it comes down to.
How can you call it censorship, for God's sake? That's what it is, Duff.
What about women who are censored from walking the street at night?
- I appreciate that.
- That's big of you.
I can't do what you ask, Duff.
Once you start saying who can see what, who decides, eh? The Tory Party? The Labour Party? The National Front? We decide ourselves.
I don't want that kind of power cos I don't want anybody to have it over me.
- Men! Bleeding men!
- That's got nothing to do with it.
It may not have, but whatever it has to do with is exclusive to men.
(Duffy sighs)
- Hi.
- Hi.
Slight maintenance problem.
- D wing's collapsed?
- No, no, no.
Mrs.
Eastman has put her fist through the window in the ladies' loo.
- She hasn't.
- She has.
- Who's Mrs.
Eastman?
- The wife of the drunk with the stitches.
- And is she hurt?
- They're having a family sew
-in there.
Charlie's doing her and Baz is having a look.
What about the loo? Will it last the night? Every woman in the place is going to have a localized hypothermia.
Hypothermia? There could be Peeping Toms and there's the draught.
I'll ring maintenance.
The patients and the Tories are racing to demolish us.
- Oh, Megan.
- Yeah? The little Irish girl.
What's happening? They're keeping her in for a few days, see if they can sort something out.
I know it's silly but she does remind me of Gillian.
- Your daughter?
- She's only a few years older.
Those few years make all the difference, Ewart.
Gillian is old enough to look after herself.
I've not seen her for months.
She left home before I did.
She'll get in touch with you.
She will.
Just give her a bit of time to find her feet, you know.
Yeah.
I'd better suppress this thr*at of imminent frostbite to the ladies'
- Yes?
- Mm.
- That's just bloody semantics.
- It's not semantics.
Mr.
Richards, you're obviously an intelligent chap.
Listen to what I'm trying to say.
You don't have to believe it but just listen to it.
An epileptic att*ck is simply a release of electrical energy through the brain.
It's what we call an electric storm.
It's not a disease, it's not an illness.
It's a condition where the electric charge is released.
Everyone is potentially capable of having an att*ck.
We've all got electrical energy and we're all different.
Some people can't wear watches, or set off security alarms at airports.
I don't see what it has to do with me.
It's not witchcraft.
It's not an illness.
It is an electric discharge across the brain.
A million and one things can cause that short circuit.
Some down to stress, some down to purely physical causes.
We can give you dr*gs that will lessen the likelihood of another att*ck.
Don't you think we should find out the reason for this one? Yeah, sure I do.
But I've got a better idea.
Why don't you go and play God with some other poor bugger's life?
- Oh, for God's sake.
- Look, I got dizzy and I fell over.
Oh, they got her a bed in Maternity.
Good.
Good.
I'm going on Duffy's little shindig tomorrow.
Change of life, Charlie, let my hair down a bit.
Yeah? Wait till the coppers baton
-charge you on horseback.
Change your life a bit.
You know, it was that little Irish girl.
I don't want things to just go on the way they've always been going on.
Maybe that's what politics are.
I always thought it was just voting.
No, I have got to go on that march tomorrow because of that little Irish girl.
What Irish girl? A lump of meat comes in here with another lump hanging on inside it.
- Charlie!
- It's not a little Irish girl, it's meat.
This is a meat factory.
We process the meat.
- Charlie!
- I mean it.
I have a thousand patients.
I've never got to know one.
They sh**t past on a conveyor belt.
That little girl had the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen.
I just wanted to hold her hand and say, "All right, love.
Tell me what it is.
"Tell me what the problem is.
We'll sort it out together.
" We just haven't got the time.
We haven't got the space.
Even if we did I doubt very much whether I'd have the energy.
Glad I got that off me chest.
- Is that tea for Mr.
Richards?
- It is.
Drink it yourself, Clive.
He's just stormed out.
He just got up and walked out.
- As in exit?
- Damn him! I don't care if it rhymes.
It's wrong.
- Cellotape r*pe.
- Ohh.
It's wrong.
Tape r*pe.
r*pe.
Lech Walesa shook this hand.
He say "Your Majesty," he say.
"Kuba, my comrade," he say.
"I love you like a buddy.
" And there's no C.
Lech old buddy, my friend today when we stand outside the cinema when the tanks run over us.
(Cheering) People get so het up over things.
He said something about lawyers' law.
Oh, it's gone.
Ohh! Well done! Well done, Susie!
- How can you miss that?
- Susie! Susie! Make way for official Sudden
-death penalties.
Ewart's missed his.
Maradona's got him by the short and curlies.
Quiet, please, while I concentrate on this.
- Litter on the pitch.
- Ewart, don't cheat.
I'm flexing my wrist, that's all.
You know, Ewart, I've never really noticed before but you're really quite dishy.
- Come on!
- sh**t, will you, please! Susie! Susie! My friends don't know what to think of older men but I think they're sexy.
(Cheering)
- You were talking to me.
- No law against talking.
Now, now, old chap.
I thought you had her.
She was talking to me.
- Come on.
- Ow.
(Cries) Da
-da
-da
-da
-da We are the champions
- (Woman) She won, then?
- Yeah, course she did.
Brilliant.
Must transfer to nights.
Subbuteo.
Cushy number.
- You've got to be joking.
- Can't be any worse.
- First quiet night this week.
- Yeah? Been on the razzle, then?
- You'll have to sort it out.
- I need the money.
- You'll k*ll yourself.
- I need the money.
You can't burn the candle at both ends.
You'll be burnt out by 25.
Look, Duff, I said I need the money.
What good will the money do you if you're so ill you can't use it? The money is to give me the time and the space and the freedom and the holiday I need.
You need.
All those brain cells nice and suntanned, feeling remotely human again.
You won't have any left, you keep flogging yourself this way.
A little bit of flogging never did a girl any harm now and then.
- It can't go on forever, Trish.
- I need the holiday, Duff.
- Because of all this extra work.
- No.
No, I need to work in a bar cos this cruddy, underpaid, under
-recognized profession is sucking the last drop of life out of me.
The only way I can fight it is to get the hell away from it for three weeks.
Right to the far side of the universe.
- You're working over 70 hours a week.
- Work is love.
- You'll never make it to the holidays.
- Holidays will come speeding along.
You can save your breath.
I'm not going back.
Neither am I.
You'll be standing there all day.
I'll give you a lift downtown.
Why did you stop? All your cash and stuff is still in the safe back there.
Why did you walk out? I couldn't take your sanctimonious colleague.
She's a good doctor.
You should have signed out.
I'm all for theatrical exits but legally you're still my responsibility.
I could have a posse out after you now.
Still, you're the lawyer.
I expect you knew that.
And if you did there's hope for you yet, I'd say.
Do you think I was attention
-seeking? Is that why you think I didn't sign out? No.
Just keeping your options open, maybe.
You're not quite sure what you're going through.
I know a damn sight better than that patronising prat of a woman.
I dare say.
Also I think you've been through this before.
Oh.
A crash course in ESP is part of the basic, is it? The wine list's not too hot but they do a lovely line in calories.
Cheers.
Nothing like a night up to your wellies in bone and gristle to give you an appetite.
(Space invaders hissing, laser
-g*n fire) (Man groans) I like caffs.
They help bring you down, you know.
This place is usually nice and peaceful.
(Space invaders continuing) To walk with kings, nor lose the common touch.
Are you a socialist? I always think people who say they're "ists" probably aren't.
What's a socialist? They wanna share my car, I break
-a their legs.
The rest they can have.
Mind you, I think I'm probably way to the left of where you sit.
Why did you become a nurse? I was good with my hands.
Nah.
I bummed around for a long time.
France, mostly.
I wanted to be able to heal.
I think that's a fundamental instinct.
Like aggression.
Why did you bottle out? I've had three.
Last night was the third.
- GP?
- No.
I was alone the first time, in the flat.
When I woke up my face was covered with saliva and blood.
I'd bitten my tongue.
Not bad but it bled a bit.
And I'd been incontinent.
I was 24 years old and I'd wet myself.
I was so ashamed.
I've always wanted to be a lawyer.
Not for purely mercenary reasons, although I intend to be a bloody rich one, but becausewell, because it's something I've always been attracted to, something I respect.
I could get a first in June.
I have a place in an exceptionally good London chambers.
Afraid you're gonna fall down in court and sh*t yourself in front of a judge? Yes, as you put it so bluntly.
It's about time you got your finger out and did something about it.
Pass me the ketchup.
Do you get any headaches? No? Other pains?
- Unusual sensations?
- No.
It's probably idiopathic and not symptomatic.
You have to do an EEG anyway.
Does it happen when you haven't slept or if you're under stress? Yeah.
Well, you're a bit old for it but more than likely it's idiopathic.
Are you not gonna eat that sausage? You're playing a game, aren't you? You'd like to provoke me, force the catharsis.
Early '70s coffee table group encounter.
One of these days somebody's gonna belt you.
Not me.
I could probably use a good lawyer one day.
Mind you, maybe I'll hold his coat for him.
People with epilepsy used to be b*rned at the stake, you know.
Possessed by the devil, all that sickening claptrap.
You've been sitting on this for how long? Six months, a year? You've got a bloody cushy career ahead of you and, something else, you're one in a million.
You've got what I've got, a job that gives you real satisfaction, and you're gonna toss it all away just because your ridiculous social prejudices have not yet crawled out of the Dark Ages.
Not society's, yours.
What can I tell you, pal? What do you want me to say? The British Epilepsy Association is in the phone book.
And who knows, maybe one of these days they'll want a top
-whack QC.
I wasn't messing.
I really do want that sausage.
- My feet are k*lling me.
- What did you wear you high heels for? Democracy people always wear their best stilettos on the front line.
(Car horn)
- He's the owner.
- Zorba the Greek.
(Protesters shouting) I don't suppose he'll invite us in for a cup of tea.
I'm dying for a wee.
Me too.
Oh, and Clive, look.
All right! I see the sisters are doing it for themselves.
With the aid of Mr.
Kuba.
I've brought the brothers to show some support.
- Are you staying with us?
- No, I'm taking them to their treat.
- What's that?
- We're going to the movies.
- Hey.
- Strictly clean, I can assure you.
But all the same, I thought that we'd come along and show our support andsolidarity.
Clive, well done, you.
Well done.
All right, let's hit the sisters with a sign now.
Forward ever, backward never! (All cheer) (All) Bye! Coffee?
- What time is it?
- Half two.
Uh
-uh.
Sleep.
Uh
-uh.
Coffee.
Ricky.
Come on.
Coffee.
- Why don't you just sleep?
- I don't sleep much any more.
Doctor says that's bad.
Doctor says drink your coffee.
(Groans)
- Where's the fire?
- Cos you've got to go.
- Go? Why go?
- Cos you've got to.
- I don't understand.
We just
- That's right.
We just.
- Now you've got to go.
- Hold on a minute.
You want me to go?
- Uh
-huh.
- Why? What's wrong? Nothing's wrong.
This is my flat and I'd like you to go.
Yes, but why? Because this is where I live.
This is my flat and I'd like you to go.
That's a bit abrupt, Baz, isn't it? Yeah, it's abrupt.
So? It's abrupt.
- Did I do something wrong?
- No.
I'd just like you to go.
Fine.
OK.
Look, it's nothing personal.
I just need some space.
Once a man gets his feet between your sheets he starts taking root.
Look, it's no reflection on your performance.
I just don't want any baggage in my life.
- We have every right to be here.
- This is my business.
It's evil.
This is my business and I would like you to go somewhere else.
This is a peaceful protest and we will stay here because we have every right
- You are messing my business!
- Business! What are you talking about? Suppose I picket your hospital, eh? How would you like me and my friends at your place with our picketing? You'll probably try and close it down.
And you wouldn't like it.
Now leave my business.
This is my business.
I would like you all to go somewhere else.
No, he has no right to stop us trying to stop him stopping us stopping his films.
Yes, that's right.
Yes.
I am not outside your hospital.
You are messing my business and I don't want it.
- You att*ck nurses.
- I do not att*ck nurses.
It was your filth that started it, though.
I do not want to hear! It's funny.
I feel used, exploited.
I suppose that's how women feel.
I don't care how women feel.
I'm trying to tell you how I feel.
- I hope you realise
- You're so moralistic.
You're being irrational I'm sorry if I fail to bring clinical objectivity to this project.
I didn't think it was an anatomy session.
Get off your high horse, Ricky.
Your armour's squeaking.
- You used me.
- I didn't use you.
Or we used each other if you insist on bringing a pocket calculator into this.
- An hour ago you were a happy man
- An hour ago things were different.
Yes, you were happy and so was l.
I felt very close to you and comforted.
- Comforted?
- Yes.
Yes, comforted.
But that doesn't give you some proprietary right over my future.
Ooh, now who's got the pocket calculator out? Touché.
Look, Ricky, I've got no space in my life for you.
You're taking that as a personal affront.
I'm sorry.
I can't help that.
I've got no room in my life for anyone right now.
My job's crippling me.
I haven't had a night free in 16 nights.
If I didn't throw up after two glasses of wine I'd become an alco.
I wasn't trying to use you.
I thought what we had we shared.
But I can't take it any further with you.
(Shouting) It's a free country! It's a lousy film I'm a very assertive person.
I'm a very assertive person! Oh! Oh, no! (Siren) You've got to get me staff.
There are no women on this unit.
Even my receptionist hasn't come in What? Yes, the one who won the Subbuteo tournament.
That's her.
Any news? Yes, I'll tell her.
Can we please talk doctors and nurses?
- (Phone)
- I've got a crisis here Just a minute.
Megan? Yeah, he's here.
Where the hell are you? I'll ring you back.
Outside the police station? You're supposed to be at the hospital.
Or did you think any municipal building would do? (Megan) Luxury for a change, girlies, eh? (Susie) Nice, Kuba, isn't it?
- What did you have for dinner, love?
- A beer and a packet of crisps.
Just because I'm a political prisoner, they all go on hunger strike.
What was wrong with the chops in the fridge? Or you could have fried an egg.
I weren't hungry, love.
Honest to God, they'd all go dying for malnutrition if I got a parking ticket.
He couldn't open a tin of dog food without an instruction manual.