02x09 - The Tale of the Full Moon

[bunniefuu]

[Child laughs]

[Muffled heartbeat]

Tonight's
a special night.

It was a year
ago tonight

that David brought
Frank into our circle

so he could tell the
tale that made him

a member of the
Midnight Society.

"The Tale
of the Phantom Cab."

"Vink's the name--
Dr. Vink."

"With a VVV, VVV, VVV, VVV!"

It's been our tradition
to tell us a scary tale.

Do you have one, Frank?

Oh, yeah.
I've got one.

I've got
the perfect story

for a night
like this.

[Girl]
Full moon.

[Frank]
Exactly.

Eerie things happen
when the moon is full.

People always act, uh...

A little bit different,

a little... strange.

But to anybody who's ever
told a tale of terror,

there's one special thing

that always happens
when the full moon rises...

And that's what
my story is about.

Submitted for the approval
of the Midnight Society,

I call this story...

[Frank] Jed and hughie
were pet detectives.

You know,
they'd find missing dogs,

runaway parakeets,
that kind of thing.

They'd just been hired

by Mrs. Neville

to find their lost cat misty.

It seemed like
an open-and-shut case--

at first.

Catnip mouse.

Catnip mouse--check.

Why did you charge
Mrs. Neville $?

Our rate for missing
cats is only $.

Yeah, but the puppies
at the pet shop

are bucks apiece.

Squeezy rubber hamburger.

Squeezy rubber
hamburger--check.

But your mom said
you can't have a dog.

She'll change her mind
when she sees this.

Where's that
silver whistle--

the one only
dogs can hear?

It should be here
someplace.

But what if
she doesn't?

She has to.

I'm tired of playing
fetch the stick with you.

Me, too.
Splinters hurt my tongue.

It's practically
a law--

I'm a boy,

and a boy's supposed to
have a dog.

As soon as we find Misty,
I'm going to buy one.

Aah!

What's wrong?

Found the whistle.

[Tweet]

[Dogs barking]

Here, Misty.

Here, kitty,
kitty, kitty.

Here, Misty.

Misty!

Misty!

Here, kitty, kitty,
kitty, kitty.

Misty!

Misty!

Here, Misty.

Here, kitty, kitty,
kitty, kitty.

Misty!

Kitty.

Kitty, kitty, kitty, kitty.

[Whistles]

Misty!

Here, kitty.

Here, kitty.

Misty.

Here, Misty.

Here, kitty.

Here, Misty.

[Whistles]

Misty! Come here, kitty.

Misty!

Here, Misty.

Found you.

Rin Tin Tin to Lassie.

I think I found Misty--

the house across the
street from my place.

[Boy]
Lassie to Rin Tin Tin.

I got to go home
for dinner.

I'm going in. Over.

[Flies buzzing]

[Jingling]

[Telephone ringing]

[Boy on walkie-talkie]
Lassie to Rin Tin Tin.

I got to go home
for dinner,

or my mom's going to
k*ll me. Over.

I'll call you back.

[Woman] That is the most
ridiculous story I have ever heard.

But it's true!

His fridge
was full of meat.

I bet he's got his eye on
every pet in the neighborhood--

dog burgers, fried canary,

hamster soup.

Jed, I have had
about enough of this.

But, Mom--

Don't "but, Mom" me.

I know exactly what
you're up to, young man.

This is another one
of your cockamamie

"I want a dog" schemes,
isn't it?

What?

You figure
I'm going to believe

this silly story
of yours

and let you bring home every
single stray in the neighborhood

just to protect them

from the butcher
of maple street.

Not this time, kiddo.

We're just barely
getting by as it is.

We can't afford
another mouth to feed--

even if it does
have four legs

and brings in the mail.

Dad would have
believed me.

He probably would.

[Jed's mother]
Creep.

[Man groans]

Ohh! Aah!

Aah! Aah!

Ohh!

[Growling]

Mom!

What is it?
What's the matter?

[Jed]
That man--

the one in the house
across the street.

He just turned into a...

A wolf.

You're kidding,
right?

You got me out
of bed for this?

I saw him, Mom!

I had my camera aimed
right at his--

Jed, what is
the matter with you,

spying on
that poor man?

He's not a man, Mom!
Look at this.

It's got to be on here.

OK, Spielberg.
That's enough.

Show's over.
Into bed with you.

I'm not making
this up, Mom.

I saw it happen.

I know you did.

You do?

You've got dog
on the brain, honey.

You're seeing them
even in your dreams.

I wasn't dreaming.

We'll talk about this
in the morning, OK?

Good night.

Good night.

Night, Mom.

Here it is--
werewolves.

Yeah, yeah. They come out
during the full moon,

and you can k*ll them
with silver b*ll*ts.

I know how
it works, hughie.

Everybody knows
how it works.

What do I do about it?

Wait a sec. That stuff's
all in the movies.

The real werewolves
are called meso...

Mesomorphs.

They have a disease
that's called lyc--

lycanthropy.

That changes them
at any time.

They're allergic
to red roses

and pure silver.

Great.
All we got to do

is trap him
in a flower shop.

There's one more thing--

they need fresh meat
to survive.

They eat small animals,
birds and stuff,

but their favorite
is, uh...

Children.

Hughie, this is all
really interesting,

but the question is,

what do you do if you got a
werewolf living next-door?

Move.

[Music with a Latin b*at
playing]

What the heck's
going on?

Where have you been? Go
get washed up quick, honey.

Dinner will be ready
in a minute.

We're having company?

Well... yeah.

Do you remember that guy
I told you about--

the one I met bowling
a couple weeks ago?

He's coming here?

Mm-hmm.

You're having a date?

It's not a date.
It's just dinner.

It doesn't
mean a thing.

[Doorbell rings]

sh**t! Door,
go get the Jed.

I mean--you know
what I mean.

Yeah, sure. Doesn't
mean a thing, right?

You must be Jed.

I just adore cooking,
as you can see.

It's been so long since
I've had a man around

to try my talents on.

I hope you like this. It's
a recipe I got off the TV.

Well,
it smells great.

I'm so hungry,
I could eat a horse.

Or a cat?

So...

How are you finding
maple street?

It's great. People are
much friendlier here

than the last place
I lived.

Where was that--
Transylvania?

Uh, actually...

Seattle.

Ha ha!
More yams?

Ow!

How do you like that, huh?
Pure silver!

Jed!

Watch him, Mom!
He's going to change!

Jed, you apologize
right now.

No, Ellen.
It's all right.

No harm done.

You are excused from
the table, young man.

But, Mom--

Now!

Kids!

[Laughing]

Ohh...

We're going out for coffee.

Your dinner is
in the Kelvinator.

I'll deal with you
when I get home.

[Laughing]

[Beeping]

[Hughie]
Hello?

Hughie,
I was wrong, man.

Guess I must have been
dreaming, after all.

That guy's
not a werewolf.

Did you do
the tests?

Yeah.

Did you use pure silver?

Yes.

How about the moon?

I did the tests,
all right?

OK, OK.

So your mom's boyfriend
isn't a werewolf.

That's that.

No, it's not.

There's something
going on over there.

We got to go back
in that house.

Aw, Jed,
I'm taking a bath!

Towel off.

[Hughie]
It looks pretty quiet.

Maybe we should
come back

when there's
somebody home...

Like noon?

Come on. I know
how we can get in.

Wait.

Why do you keep
saying "we"?

Because we're partners,
Hughie--to the end.

The end?

[Cat yowls]

Wait for me!

Oh!

Will you relax?
Nobody's home.

He's out having coffee
with my mom.

Oh, well. That's that.

Aw, man, what are you
going to do?

Shh!

This isn't happening.
He's not really doing this.

He's not really
doing this.

He really did it.

Let's go.

Oh, turn around.

Geez!

Here. Take this.

Check this out.

[Hughie] I thought you
said it was full of meat.

It was. He must have
hidden them.

Maybe he got
really hungry.

[Growl]

What was that?

Give me that.

Ohh!

Can we go now?

No!

There's got to be
something else here--

something we can
use as proof.

Uh, Jed?

Yeah?

What does this guy
look like?

I don't know--just
like an average guy.

Kind of tall?

Yeah.

Kind of bald?

Yeah. Why? What
difference does it make?

Because I think he
has a twin brother!

[Growling]

[Boys screaming]

Ah!

Oh.

[Growling]

Aah!

Go. Go. Run!

Run! Come on!

[Growling]

Aah!
Aah!

Hurry up!
It's coming!

That isn't going to
hold for very long.

Thanks for
the news flash.

[Werewolf snarling]

Ohh...

Oh, man, we're
in its bedroom!

[Werewolf growling]

Aah!
Aah!

We're trapped! He's going to
eat us! He's going to eat us!

Not me, dude.
I'm nobody's lunch.

Aah!
Aah!

Bad dog.

[Tweet]

[Groaning]

I see you've met Gordon.

Bye, Jed!
See you at school.

[Werewolf panting]

Gordon?

My brother.

Yeah, well, I got news
for you, buddy.

Your brother's
got a problem.

Yeah, I know.

Lycanthropy is
a terrible disease.

Everybody tells me
I should just...

Put him
out of his misery,

but he's family.

He's all I got.

My mom's all I've got,

and when she finds out
about this, she's--

Jed...

I already know.

Ooh!

You're not scared?

I was at first,

but I'm trying to
understand, honey.

I hope you will, too.

Does he
really eat...

Kids?

Rumors.

People can be
so cruel.

There's lots of different
kinds of families, Jed.

This is just
one of them.

He's got to stop eating pets.

[Frank]
It wasn't long before Jed's mom

married the man
from across the street.

They all moved in together,
like a family.

[Music with a Latin b*at
playing]

Looking good,
Mr. Ankers.

Thank you,
Mrs. Ankers.

Two well-done...

Mmm!

And one...

Medium.

[Frank]
Jed's mom was happy.

The man was happy.

And one very rare.

Jed, Gordon--
dinnertime.

OK. Go back--way back.

This one's
out of the park.

[Frank]
And as for Jed...

He finally got his dog.

[Howling]

The end.

And now...

Our anniversary surprise.

Surprise?

Fire's nice and hot.

What surprise?

Special
occasion--

we planned it
just for you.

Roast...

Frank.

Say what?

Roast Franks.
Don't you like them?

Ha! Oh, yeah.
They're great.

Happy Anniversary, Frank.

Let's cook.

Ohh!

So, who brought
the buns?

Oh, you were supposed
to bring the buns.

Way to go.