02x46 - The Lords of Malltown

[bunniefuu]

:

♪

(Slurping)

Okay, you will not believe

how gorgeous this guy is!

Where is he?

That's him at the cash!

(Giggling)

Wow, hunky!

Look at that cute butt!

I know, right?

It looks like it's made of

granite!

(Slurping)

Is he interested?

He looked like he was totally

into me yesterday, but--

Here he comes, act normal!

Hello, again!

Oh, hey!

Ah, so you're DNA fans too!

Yo, Chad, special request!

This is Jen.

Hey.

Hey.

Have you guys met my buddy

Carl?

Uh...

Hi...

Oh, you two are friends!

Carl and I go way back.

You have a cute butt, too.

Eww!

All right!

(Rock music playing)

(Laughing)

That was awesome!

I did it it just for you.

Oh, it looked really good.

Thanks.

You can stop looking at my

butt any time now!

(Slurping)

♪

♪ Life begins after school

♪ That's when we bend

all the rules ♪

♪ Time to hang

with all my friends ♪

♪ We like to be together

in a place where we belong ♪

♪ I'm sixteen

♪ Starting to find my way

♪ Got a new job

♪ Gonna start at

the mall today ♪

♪ Thank God I'm on my own

for the first time ♪

♪ I'm sixteen

♪ Life is sweet

♪ When you're growing up

so fast ♪

♪ You got to make the good

times last ♪

♪

♪ I'm sixteen, sixteen

♪ Got to make the good

times last ♪

Oh, man, we're late for work

again!

Wayne's gonna roast our butts!

Relax, dude, Wayne's cool.

Hey, dude!

Late again, I see.

We can explain, there was

this huge line up at the bank,

and--

Chill, my brother, there's no

need for drama, just hand over

my suck up coffee.

But, that was--

Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah-ah...!

Mine.

Told you, dude, Wayne's cool!

Dude, hand.

Wayne, you're the second

person today to tell me to

chill.

Do you think I'm too uptight?

Does a fish have lips?

But I can be cool!

Really?

Check out this crazy tattoo

action!

I got it on a dare!

What is it, a tadpole?

It's a music note!

You're sure that's not a

mole, 'cause it looks like a

mole.

You seen this?



Uh-huh, my tattoo kicks his

tattoo's butt!

(Gasping)

Put that away, man!

Yo, I need a disguise fast!

You guys still have those fake

moustaches?

Not on me, bro.

Sorry, man.

Hi... um, could you recommend

a video for a cozy night at home

on the couch?

Tango Me Later is good.

It's a commentary on guy girl

relationships, very poignant.

Riding Monster Waves ,

definitely!

Oh, sounds intense!

You may not want to watch

that one alone, ladies!

Need a little company on that

couch?

(Giggling)

We have a Moondance Film

Festival section I can show you.

We'll take the Monster Wave.

Thanks for the advice, guys!

I don't get it!

Why'd they completely ignore me?

Two words: up and tight.

No, I'm not!

You're tighter than an

airlock.

What?

You're so tight you squeak,

man!

Hey, do you two like comic

books?

Yes!

No.

'Cause Nitro Bob is signing

his graphic novel at Books,

Music, and Beyond tonight.

We can check it out, then see a

flick!

Nitro who?

Nitro Bob, he's the genius

behind such classic comics as

Nitro Bob Kicks Butt and Nitro

Bob the Man, the Legend.

CAITLIN: We'd love to!

JEN: We're really busy!

CAITLIN AND JEN: Excuse us!

I am not going on a double

date with big slurp over there,

so you can just forget it!

Oh, please, please, please!

Billy is so amazing!

You saw us together!

I think he might be the one!

We can't blow this!

We?

Just one date!

Once Billy and I get to know

each other better, you'll never

have to speak to Carl again.

Argh... okay, fine!

But just this one!

Oh, thank you, thank you,

thank you!

Hmm.

(Splashing)

♪

Hmm.

♪

Ahem...

Excuse me!

Hold on, Jen.

Are you sure you want to spend

this much on a hair clip?

I have to look perfect

tonight for my date with Billy.

Oh, I'm so nervous!

She's nervous!

You should see who I have to

spend the night with!

I'd do it for you in a

second!

She has no idea how gross

this guy is!

Uh, do I have free phone

minutes written on my forehead?

Jen, you're a good friend.

Caitlin, you owe her one.

Okay?

Okay, done.

Thanks, Nikki!

Wish me luck!

Finally!

Where have you been, I've been



caffeine free for like five

hours!

You're welcome!

Here, listen to my newest song.

♪ When you dumped me

♪ You made me feel like a long

lost puppy crying all the time ♪

♪ I thought that you and I

♪ Would fly so high

♪ Like butterflies

What's wrong with it?

Honestly, you're in a rut.

Your dumped and heartbroken

thing is totally tired, and your

sound is kind of, uh... what's

the word...

Uptight?

Yes, yes, that's the word I

was looking for!

So, it's true!

I am uptight!

Even my music sucks now!

I've got to do something!

Hey, ow!

I've fallen into a rut and I

can't get out!

You're the only one who can help

me!

Bro, I can offer you freedom

from your rut, I can introduce

you to the inner world of the

skater, if you're ready for it.

Oh, I'm ready!

The first thing you've got to

do is say hello to this little

dude.

Uh, hello?

Show him who's boss!

Watch this!

Dude!

Oof!

Dude?

Sweet, now you're ready to

take this little man for a spin!

Maybe we should have a

codeword, in case I really need

to get the heck out of there!

Jen, it'll be fine!

How do you know that?

You only met Billy--

What?

Does that cleaning guy look

familiar to you?

Yeah, a little.

(Laughing)

Cool!

You made it!

Hi!

Let's go meet Bob!

You wanna see my Nitro Bob

tattoo?

No.

Please, say something to

Carl.

Billy thinks you don't like him!

He's right!

(Sighing)

So, Carl, what are these buttons

for?

I wore them for Bob.

I love Nitro booty?

Pull my glowing finger?

Hey, come to the travel

section with me!

I'll show you where I want to go

after graduation.

Okay.

Where are you going?

Nepal!

(Laughing)

(Grumbling)

This your woman?

Yeah.

Uh, I mean no.

This is your time, bro!

Is there anything I need to

know?

Wyatt, dude, skateboarding is

all about getting into the right

headspace.

In the eyes of a skater, every

open space is an opportunity to

crank up your speed!

Every garbage can is a potential

hurdle to conquer!

Conquer, right!

Um, aren't you going to tell me

where to put my feet or

something?

There are only two crucial



steps in learning to skateboard.

Number one: get a board.

Number two: ride it.

Okay, then.

Whoa!

This escalator is yours,

dude.

Own it!

You are mine, escalator!

(Screaming)

(Crashing)

(Groaning)

Huh.

Maybe we should take some baby

steps first.

MOVIE GIRL: Hey, Tina,

did you invite the rugby team?

(Laughing)

MOVIE BOY: Whassup!

We're here to trash your house!

(Laughing)

(Belching)

MOVIE GIRL: Guys, get off the

chandelier... and bring out the

tiger!

(Growling)

Check it out: an alleyoop

fishbrained burn twist!

(Gasping)

Surf's up, Wyatt, man!

All right!

Check it out!

Oof!

(Giggling)

(Groaning)

Okay, this is seriously

embarrassing!

I look like a joke!

Hmm, what you need, dude, is

a little privacy.

Follow me.

Oh, I've never met anyone

like Billy before.

Not only is he cute, he's the

funniest guy I've ever met!

And how was your lover boy,

Jen?

I've had more fun popping my

own zits than I did last night!

Maybe I'm being a little

overcritical, but I like guys

who play sports, who don't talk

about how great their last burp

was!

(Phone ringing)

Hi, Billy!

(Giggling)

Tomorrow afternoon?

Yeah, I'm free!

Uh-oh.

Don't worry, Caitlin already

promised no more double dates.

d Jen?

Oh, I don't know, she's pretty

busy with practise and stuff.

Oh...

Well, okay, sure, she'll be

there.

Tell me you didn't just book

me on another double date!

(Giggling)

Are you out of your mind?

But Billy and Carl are best

buddies, and Carl doesn't have

anyone else to hang out with!

Isn't that sweet?

You wouldn't think it was so

sweet if you spent an evening

sitting next to a human fart

machine!

It won't be like a date, it

will just be four people having

lunch for like minutes, I

promise.

Oh, I don't know!

Please, please, please!

(Groaning)

Fine!

minutes, not !

(Giggling)

I'm gonna regret this, aren't I?

Undoubtedly.

Welcome to your very own

private skateboarding school.

You can wipe out as many times

as you want here.

Humiliation free!

I don't know, Jude, maybe I'm

just not the risk-taking--

Shh!



I see now that the escalator was

probably a bad call, but don't

worry, you'll be riding this

mall like a giant wave in no

time, bro!

First, we'll fix your stance.

♪

(Groaning)

Yes, you k*lled that one!

(Laughing)

(Sighing)

Jonesy?

(Screaming)

Okay, I'm busted.

What's with the disguise,

dude!

Isn't it obvious?

I don't want anyone to know I'm

the mall janitor!

My street cred will plummet!

What's wrong with being a

janitor?

You've had worse jobs than this.

Yeah, remember when you had

to dress up like a giant banana?

And a soup can?

Oh, and that milk maid

costume!

That was way worse, dude!

My plan is to do this for

about three weeks, save up some

green, then ride out the rest of

the year work free!

That would be two weeks and

six days longer than you've kept

any other job!

Good luck, dude.

I've gotta go, just don't

tell anyone, especially Nikki.

Don't worry, it's in the

vault.

Wyatt, you've mastered the

basics, now it's time to play!

I like to call this particular

game "Annoy the Rent a Cop"!

Follow my lead.

(Screaming)

Payback!

Maggot!

Come on, I know you want

some!

(Giggling)

Cut it out!

Okay, maybe one!

Just four people having

lunch, huh?

Want one of my fries?

Caitlin, bathroom break, now!

Okay, Carl thinks he's on a

date with me, which isn't

surprising since we might as

well be alone at the table!

Hello, Caitlin?

Did you see the way Billy

looked at me?

(Sighing)

He has the cutest smile!

Okay, whatever you do, just

don't leave me alone with Carl.

Washroom check!

(Screaming)

Jonesy, is that you?

Why are you wearing a beard,

and checking washrooms?

I'm trying to keep this gig

on the Q.T.!

Why?

You're not embarrassed, are

you?

Nah, just don't tell Nikki!

Deal, c'mon, Jen!

Billy's waiting!

Washroom check.

Still here.

(Slurping)

Carl, come on, man!

I really don't want to blow it

with this girl!

Caitlin's the real thing!

Just try to show some manners

around Jen!

Sorry, Billy.

No worries.

No, I'm... sorry.

(Sniffing)

Oh, no, Carl!

That's disgusting!

Ha, silent but deadly!

We're back!

(Groaning)



(Laughing)

JUDE: Hey, how's it going?

WYATT: Thanks, man!

Hey!

(Screaming)

(Laughing)

Hey, come back here, punk!

Hey!

♪

(Whispering)

Billy and I are going to go

check out a matinee.

Caitlin!

Here, lunch and dessert are

on me!

Well, I'm outta here!

You wanna, y'know, hook up

again later or something?

(Groaning)

Look, nothing personal, but I

am not, nor will I ever be even

remotely interested in you,

Carl.

Geez, you ever heard of the

word no?

Sorry, I just don't like

being set up with people,

especially ones who fart at

dinner.

I hear you.

Billy's a good guy, and he's

really into your friend.

Yeah, well, Caitlin's pretty

amazing too, most of the time!

Yeah, you did her a pretty

big favour!

I'd say she owes you!

How big do you think she owes

me exactly?

Really obscenely massively

big time owes you!

Waitress!

(Slurping)

Ah, this is the best cup of

coffee I've ever had!

Dude.

Wyatt, you were amazing out

there on your skateboard!

The way you totally harassed

that rent a cop was so hot!

(Giggling)

Def moves out there, Wyatt!

Nice, Wyatt!

Oh, yeah, I'm out of my rut!

(Gasping)

Hmm.

Oops, uh, excuse me, cleaning

staff, we have a spill over

here!

Hmm, I think you missed a spot.

Have we met before, because I

think that beard of yours is

really hot!

Okay, who told her?

(Laughing)

Bring it on, you got some

janitor jokes for me?

Wanna tell me how rank I smell?

Huh?

I don't care about your job!

Can't be any worse than working

at the Tacky Barn!

I guess I won't be needing

these anymore!

So, Jude, I have the most

awesome idea for doing some ramp

tricks!

What's that, dude?

We get Jonesy over here to

help us empty the fountain, then

we take it over as skateboard

central!

Are you nuts?

You're running out of limbs to

break as it is!

Okay, okay!

That sounds a little intense,

dude, even for me!

So, Caitlin, I think you're

really special, and I'd like to

see more of you.

(Giggling)

A lot more--

(Gasping)

Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry!

No worries!

(Gasping)

Mmm!

Mm, mm, mm!

(Gasping)



Oh my gosh, what happened to

your back?

Uh, it's just a bit of acne.

Now, where were we?

(Slurping)

Hey, Caitlin, here's your

wallet.

Billy and I broke up.

Oh, no, what happened!

He had back-ne!

Uh-huh, and?

And that's it!

It was so gross, Jen!

I don't believe this!

You broke up with Billy because

of a pimple on his back?

There were like twenty!

So you forced me and Carl to

sit through two double dates to

help you hook up with "the one",

and you go and dump him for a

skin condition?

And I was actually starting to

feel bad about yesterday!

Why?

Well, after the restaurant,

Carl and I went to the arcade,

and then the amusement park, and

Caitlin paid for the whole

thing!

(Gasping)

Good one!

(Laughing)

Thanks for a great evening,

Caitlin!

(Tuning guitar)

Shouldn't you be at work?

No, got canned, something

about a bunch of complaints.

Sorry to hear that, dude.

I just wish I'd kept my

disguise on!

I could've reapplied as myself

this time!

Hey!

(Cheering)

So, are we gonna hear you

whine about Serena dumping you

again?

Serena who!?

♪ Check it out I've been down

and out ♪

♪ Took the long way down the

track ♪

♪ But now I'm back yeah

♪ Something had to change

♪ Now I take life day to day

♪ And live for the now

♪ Oh live for the now

♪ Live for the now

♪ I live for the now

Yeah!

(Cheering)

♪