02x53 - Girlie Boys

[bunniefuu]

:

(Snapping)

(Gasping)

(Crying)

(Laughing)

Hi, Jonesy.

Who's your daddy?

Hi, Jonesy!

Lookin' good, sweet cheeks!

Hey, Jonesy!

(Laughing)

Jonesy?

Hey, guys, what's up.

Now, you know I hate to brag,

but it needs to be said, I am a

total stud!

The chicks can't keep their eyes

off me today!

I am on fire!

(Giggling)

Oh!

(Giggling)

Whoa!

What?

(Laughing)

What?

Uh, could you excuse us for

a minute?

Jonesy has a unibrow!

I know!

It's so bad!

We have to tell him.

We can't just let him walk

around like that!

NIKKI: Why not?

CAITLIN: Ugh, it's so hairy!

(Laughing)

That's it, I'm telling him!

Um, Jonesy, have you looked in a

mirror lately?

I mean, really looked?

No, don't need to!

I know what I look like, and

it's spelled H.O.T.--

You've got a unibrow.

A what?

A un-i-brow.

The merging of two separate

eyebrows into one gigantic

entity.

No, I don't!

Yes, you do.

It's like a big, huge

caterpillar is sitting on your

face!

Sorry!

Hey, get off me, dude!

Sorry, bro!

How did I get this?

I never had it before!

These things can sneak up on

you!

I don't want to have just one

eyebrow!

Don't worry, they can get rid

of it for you down at the spa.

Uh-uh, spas are for--

Hi, Jonesy!

Nice eyebrow!

(Laughing)

(Sobbing)

I'll go, I'll go!

(Laughing)

♪

♪ Life begins after school

♪ That's when we bend

all the rules ♪

♪ Time to hang

with all my friends ♪

♪ We like to be together

in a place where we belong ♪

♪ I'm sixteen

♪ Starting to find my way

♪ Got a new job

♪ Gonna start at

the mall today ♪

♪ Thank God I'm on my own

for the first time ♪

♪ I'm sixteen

♪ Life is sweet

♪ When you're growing up

so fast ♪

♪ You got to make the good

times last ♪

♪

♪ I'm sixteen, sixteen

♪ Got to make the good

times last ♪

(Screaming)

I know it stings, but it'll

just last a minute.



That hurt!

But they're hot!

Hey, beautiful!

(Gasping)

Whoo!

(Gasping)

JUDE: Thanks, sample lady!

Woo-hoo!

Phat move, man, do it again.

Thanks, dudes, but I gotta

start training for the speed

skating event.

You're in the Curb Jam?

Sweet.

Good luck, man!

Thanks, bro... later!

The swelling will go down

soon.

Sorry, I know waxing isn't fun.

Are you kidding?

The spa was awesome!

A little painful, sure, but the

view was worth it!

Nice, eyebrows--

Dude!

Thanks, man!

You gotta get a girl--

Later, dudes!

(Crashing)

So, how's the training

coming?

Awesome!

And check it out!

I got a new sticker for the

deck!

I like to make Sally here feel

appreciated before a big event.

Okay, then.

Wait, you're training for a

speed slalom event.

Won't putting a sticker on your

board add drag?

Chill, it's just a sticker,

bro!

Anything you add to your

board can slow you down!

Competitive swimmers shave their

entire bodies to reduce

resistance.

It's the law of physics!

Ha, geek!

Whoa, they shave it all?

That's pretty extreme!

You wanna win, right?

Definitely, first prize is an

all expense paid trip to the

regional finals in Vancouver!

Woo-hoo!

Hey, Lizowski, I heard you

think you're the fastest in the

mall.

Well, I'm here to tell you

you're not.

Maybe you should put your

skateboard where your mouth is!

Yeah... I'd like to see that!

You got it, bra!

Uh, I think you meant to say

bro.

"Bra" is for chicks.

No, I mean to say bra, bra!

That's it, you and I, one

race, this Friday after closing!

You're on, Lizzy!

And we'll see who pounds who

into the pavement harder!

That didn't even make sense!

See you later, Judy!

Don't forget to bring your

cheerleaders!

(Burping)

That dude just seriously

harshed on my mellow.

What dude?

Yeah, who is he, anyway?

Wyatt, that's Mike Dent!

Don't you remember him?

The guy who used to take my

cookies in kindergarten class?

WYATT, REMINISCING: Teacher,

Mike Dent took my cookies...

Oh, that Mike Dent!

In that case, kick his butt!

Dude, who cares?

I have great news!

Now I don't know how we missed

this, but I have found the

greatest place in the whole mall

to pick up chicks!

The spa!



The place is crawling with

chicks, and the best part is

they're all practically naked!

Seriously, you saw them?

With my own two eyes!

Hi, Paige!

Hi!

She was at the spa, only not

in that uniform, if you know

what I'm saying!

Saw her at the spa.

Spa... spa... and yep...

(Gasping)

Spa!

Does going to the spa hurt?

Yes, but it's worth it, and

check it out, no unibrow!

Smooth!

Unbelievable!

Nikki, I almost forgot!

You have to come with me and

give me your opinion on

something!

Why do I suspect I'm going to

regret this?

Come on!

(Screaming)

There they are, the new Citizens

of Profanity jeans.

Oh... I'll put them on layaway

until I've saved up enough!

Well, if you're serious, I

hear Chocoholics Anonymous is

hiring.

That's an awesome idea!

You're the best, Nikki!

You can thank me later!

Please, thank me later?

Are you sure you want me to

wax your arm hair?

If it'll make me go faster,

definitely!

Hook me up, waxing lady!

(Screaming)

(Sobbing)

Better find a girl here,

Jonesy!

(Screaming)

Don't worry, man, just look

around!

(Screaming)

Sorry!

Nice, that's really smooth!

If you want smooth skin, you

should try our exfoliating sea

salt body scrub.

It feels amazing.

You mean there's stuff you

can do at the spa that doesn't

hurt?

(Sighing)

Oh, yeah!

(Sighing)

(Sighing)

If this is the Swedish massage,

I can't wait for a Brazilian!

I know, bro, I know!

(Giggling)

Wow, who knew a dude's feet

could look like this!

This is where it's at!

Got that right.

I will never be high strung

again.

(Slurping)

So, did I tell you?

Chocoholics Anonymous hired me

on the spot!

I start today!

Are you sure that's a good

idea?

You know how much you love

chocolate!

I know, right?

It's so perfect.

Just... don't eat too much--

Hey!

♪

GIRLS: Wow!

♪

What happened to you guys?

The spa!

You look amazing!

Thank you, it's all part of

our new lifestyle regime.

You know, it really is good

seeing you guys like this!

Really?

Sure, I mean, why should

girls be expected to bear the



brunt of society's pressure to

look good all the time?

Do you know what she's

talking about?

I'm saying that maybe now

you'll appreciate how much

trouble girls go through.

(Whooshing)

What was that?

That was Mike, and there goes

my mellow.

What was he dragging behind

him?

A parachute.

What, in case he falls off

his board?

Parachutes are used for

training.

They provide resistance so you

can work on your speed and

endurance.

Exactamundo!

I wish I had one!

Hey, I could be your

parachute!

I know I wouldn't be a real

parachute, but you could tow me

around.

I'll be your resistance!

Really?

MIKE: Watch my wheels,

Lizowski!

There, you're all set.

Are you sure about this?

Absolutely.

Hit it!

(Giggling)

This is fun!

That'll be $.

(Screaming)

And --

(Smashing)

...cents!

Hi, I'd like a bottle of this

Smashface hair smoother.

Hey!

What are you doing here?

I was spending so much time

here, and looking so good doing

it, they hired me.

Which means, guess who gets %

off all products and services!

No way, that's amazing!

I know, it's a sweet deal!

Thanks, Jonesy, I've gotta

run to my new job.

Later!

Bye!

Hey, up for some training

tonight, Caitlin?

Definitely!

Uh, you might want to fix

your hair.

Ah, look, it's Judy-kins and

Wy-ette going to get their hair

done at the spa!

Told you you were a bra, bra!

(Laughing)

'Kay, I'm usually a pretty

chilled out guy, but that dude

is starting to make me not

chilled out.

No worries, me and my

employee discount have just what

you need!

Mmm!

I can't believe we get to eat as

much as we want!

Seriously, this is the best

job I've ever had!

Hi, can I help you?

A low fat frozen yogurt,

please.

Nothing for me.

I ate way too much chocolate

when I worked here, and I gained

pounds in like three months!

Wow... okay!

Thanks.

There you go!

Can you imagine eating enough

chocolate to gain pounds?

I know, right?

It is so sad how some people,

like, just let themselves go!

I mean, if you don't take pride

in how you look, how's anyone

supposed to take you seriously?

That's just what I was

thinking!



Okay, you daisies, time to take

this up a notch.

Jude, ready for the T High

Action Tanning Booth?

Right on!

See you on the other side,

dudes.

(Whirring)

JONESY: Ladies... hello.

(Gasping)

Oh, no, you didn't.

What happened to you guys?

We've been at the spa!

Yeah, we can see that.

Your spray on tans are

orange, your teeth are so

bleached they're practically

blue, and Jude, what's with all

the waxing?

You look like you're made of

plastic!

It's a need for speed!

I go way faster on my board.

It's true, he does go faster.

And the girls love it.

Thanks for last night, guys!

(Purring)

The question isn't if we

should go back, it's how!

The spa's expensive!

I don't know how I'm gonna

keep up with my highlights!

You have to maintain them or you

get roots.

Did you know about roots?

Roots suck.

Well, at least your roots

won't be curly!

It's going to totally ruin my

new look!

I need to look good or I'll

get fired from the spa, and

that'll mean no cash flow, and

no employee discounts!

But I need to keep smooth!

I can't have my arm hair slowing

me down!

Don't worry, hairs only

regrow at a rate of a quarter

inch a month.

Wow, girls really do spend a

lot of time thinking about this

stuff.

Ready for some more training?

Sure!

Wait... okay.

Is it me or is Caitlin

looking a little larger than

usual?

Um, she's looking a lot

larger.

Oh, no, I knew this would

happen!

You can eat all the free

chocolate you want at

Chocoholics!

I tried to tell her, but does

anyone ever listen to me?

Sorry, did you just say

something?

(Groaning)

(Grunting)

(Panting)

This can't be happening!

I'm going even slower, dude!

Maybe your training has

plateaued.

MIKE: Nice haircut,

Lose-owski!

That's it, I'm gonna pop that

zit!

Go get him, Ju--

(Gasping)

(Grunting)

Weee!

(Gasping)

Oops!

This Jedi Knight's not

going--

Sorry!

See you later, suckers!

(Panting)

Jerk!

I don't get it!

I was really tearing it up last

week!

Hmm... that's it!

It's the hair!

Gotta get rid of the hair!

Later!



Okay, bye!

Time to close up.

Already?

I'll just take one for the road.

C'mon guys... keep it quiet.

Thanks for sneaking us in,

bro.

I've gotta get rid of this hair,

it's k*lling my chances!

No worries, dude, I think we

could all use a bit of a touch

up.

Definitely, how hard can it

be?

You sure about this, bro?

You bet!

Who needs hair anyway?

Okay, then!

(Buzzing)

C'mon!

I can't believe I'm doing

this!

Make sure you get the backs

of my knees.

(Gasping)

What?

(Screaming)

Didn't you ever take gym class?

What is that stuff?

I have no idea, but the

seaweed lady covers me in it

before my wrap.

Okay, I'm good to go!

(Alarm ringing)

C'mon, get this seaweed off me!

(Groaning)

It's... not coming off!

Um... does the lady usually

cover you in acrylic nail glue

before your seaweed wrap?

(Screaming)

Jude!

Come back, Jude!

(Splashing)

(Screaming)

I almost don't wanna know

what is going on here.

Hello!

(Screaming)

(Laughing)

Time to buy my jeans!

(Groaning)

CAITLIN: Excuse me, I don't

think these are the jeans I put

on layaway.

They don't fit!

I'm afraid they are, dear,

and they're our last pair.

If you don't want them, I'm

going to have to put them back

on the rack.

(Gasping)

Mmm!

Mmm... it's good!

(Screaming)

(Sobbing)

I can't... believe... no-one

told me... I was getting...

F... A... T...!

You're not fat!

And I did try to tell you,

but you wouldn't listen,

remember?

You were eating six pounds of

chocolate a day.

(Sobbing)

Did you just say you got

fatter?

That is awesome!

If you got fat, that means I'm

not slow on my board, which

means--

You're going to kick his

butt!

Oh, yay!

That's great, Jude!

I guess that means we didn't

need to sneak into the spa to

shave my head.

Oh, now you tell me!

I got fired, dude, from the best

job I ever had!

There were chicks, man!

Chicks!

That's it, they're gone.

They don't have the sparkly

jeans in my new size.

Okay, pity party's over.

C'mon, Jude's contest is

starting in ten minutes.



(Gasping)

Guys, look!

These are even cuter than the

last pair!

Can I put these on layaway

please?

But that's your old size.

They won't fit.

Oh, yes they will!

C'mon, we're late for Jude.

Okay, guys, remember: this is a

one on one obstacle speed race.

I want a nice clean run.

You got that?

You're gonna lose, you know

that, right?

Kick his butt, Jude!

What... he stole my cookies!

On your mark, get set... go!

(Horn blaring)

(Grunting)

MIKE: Lizowski!

Go, Jude!

Get it done, baby!

Go, Jude!

You can do it!

Move it!

(Chuckling)

(Screaming)

Ow!

Jude!

Jude!

(Cheering)

C'mon, Jude you can do it!

(Cheering)

Every loser has his day,

Lizowski!

And it looks like today is

all yours, bra!

(Groaning)

Caitlin, you look awesome!

Thanks, the time I put in at

the fitness centre really paid

off.

I'm back to my old size!

And I just bought my new sparkly

jeans!

So...?

I placed second in the Curb

Jam!

Way to go!

Yeah, it almost makes up for

the fact that I'm green... and

bald.

Y'know, I'm kinda glad to be

getting back to normal.

Looking good was way too much

work.

All that time and money, why do

girls bother?

Because of guys like you!

Good point.

Lookin' good, ladies!

Jen, Caitlin, aren't you two a

little overdue at the spa?

I'll handle this one.

(Groaning)

♪