03x79 - Date and Switch

[bunniefuu]

[ ♪ ]


So... jam session went well.


Yup, I think Pete's finally got the hang of those riffs.


Yeah... though...


did you miss that last chord progression?


It sounded a little... uh, funny.


Funny?


Sort of like that face you sometimes make when you sing?


The one that looks like you have to go to the bathroom.


Hey, guys. How was rehearsal?


[UNENTHUSED] Great.


[SARCASTIC] Awesome.


So. Okay. Cool.


Hey, guys!


At least SOMEONE'S in a good mood.


You believe in love at first sight, right?


Totally! Happened to me when I saw that


new turbo-powered jet ski at the boat show.


Nice. Who is he?


His name is Callum.


I met him at Andrea's costume party last night.


He was a gladiator.


Tall, blond, buff...


Sounds like a total hottie.


He said he'd drop by today.


So let me know if you see him, so I can lose the lemon hat.


You bet.


So dude, you listen to that CD I b*rned you?


Nah, Marlowe and I rented a movie last night.


Isn't that, like, the tenth night in a row


you guys have watched a movie?


I guess we're kinda in a rut.


A rut?! Nice thing to say in front of your girlfriend.


Well, it's sort of true, isn't it?


It is now.


I just found a pack of gum I didn't know I had!


Don't you just love it when that happens?


Callum and now this...


It's like the best day ever!


Gum anyone?


[ ♪♪♪ ]


[ ♪ ]


♪ LIFE BEGINS AFTER SCHOOL ♪


♪ THAT'S WHEN WE BEND ALL THE RULES ♪


♪ TIME TO HANG WITH ALL MY FRIENDS ♪


♪ WE LIKE TO BE TOGETHER


♪ IN A PLACE WHERE WE BELONG! ♪


♪ I'M TEEN, STARTING TO FIND MY WAY ♪


♪ GOT A NEW JOB, GONNA START AT THE MALL TODAY ♪


♪ THANK GOD I'M ON MY OWN FOR THE FIRST TIME ♪


♪ I'M TEEN, LIFE IS SWEET ♪


♪ WHEN YOU'RE GROWING UP SO FAST ♪


♪ YOU GOTTA MAKE THE GOOD TIMES LAST ♪


[ ♪ ]


♪ I'M TEEN...


♪ I'M TEEN... ♪ TEEN


♪ GOTTA MAKE THE GOOD TIMES LAST ♪


[ ♪ ]


I don't know what it is.


Marlowe and I are just in a weird place.


I mean, I really like her,


but we're driving each other nuts.


You have been fighting a lot.


I think we're spending too much time together.


You saying you want to kick her to the curb?


That's the last thing I want.


A little advice.


If you want to spice things up...


just hook up with another chick.


What?!


Trust me, nothing gets a girl more hooked


than if she thinks she's on the way out.


Un-uh, I'm not messing with Marlowe's head.


Don't knock it.


Sometimes a little head-messin' is all it takes.


We just need to not spend every second together,


hanging out, texting, talking on the pho -- [CELL RINGS ]


Hey, Marlowe.


Um, yeah. Okay, er...


See ya there.


Marlowe said we need to talk.


She's gonna dump me... She's gonna dump me!


What are you doing?!


If Marlowe can't find me, she can't break up with me.


I'm not taking any chances. Not after Serena.


He's right.


If he never sees her again, they might live happily ever after.


So you wanna know why else today is the best day ever?


You mean besides the gum?


I finally filled my Khaki card!


You mean your Crappy Barn frequent shopper's card?


You have to spend bucks like fifty times!


I've been racking up points on this card since I was like fourteen.


But today's the day


I'm finally gonna get that cute pink cami.


For free!


You're so lucky.


Yeah. Lucky.


You finish your card,


and then you get to start all over again.



I know. I can't wait!


[GASPS] Callum!


Caitlin.


Nice digs you have here.


Callum, these are my friends Jen and Nikki.


Hi. Hey.


Hi.


So, can I have a lemon squishee? Sure.


So did Caitlin tell you her new main man's a champion skateboarder?


You're um, a shredder?


Uh, huh. The best.


I play the Tony Hawk video game, a lot.


My mom won't let me ride a real skateboard till I'm .


Here ya go.


Does this have pulp in it?


'Cause pulp triggers my gag reflex.


Hey! Oops, sorry.


Think I could get another one?


Um... okay, coming up.


Oh, and gimme your phone number while you're at it.


I'm gonna need it now that we're dating and all.


Sure.


C-Dawg scores the digits!


So how 'bout a hug for the road?


Ahh!


Oops. Maybe that'll be our thing...


me spilling stuff on you!


See ya soon, sweet-cheeks.


He's such a...


Dork.


He was in costume at the party.


I don't get it. Why did you gave him your phone number?


Just because I gave him a number,


doesn't mean I gave him MY number.


I have a standard fake!


Every experienced dater has one.


Whenever a guy I'm not in to asks for my digits


I give them the number to the Gigantoplex.


The Gigantoplex?


I figure they'll go see a movie and forget all about me.


There's a certain Caitlin logic to that.


Well, I'm off to the Khaki Barn


to cash in my frequent shopper's ca --


Where's my Khaki card? It was right here on the counter!


You mean the little piece of paper you wrote your fake number on?


I gave it to Callum?!


It took me two years to finish that card!


Take it easy, Caitlin.


You just need to go to the Gigantoplex,


tell them what happened, and have them put Callum in touch when he calls.


Yay! You're the best, Nikki.


I'm gonna get my new cami after all!


Well now, don't I feel like a hero.


GAMEEnemy defeated... hero victorious!


Woo-hoo!


In your face, fourth graders!


Hey, Watch it!


Wyatt, what're you doing?!


Avoiding Marlowe.


Dude, you've gotta man up.


You can't spend your whole life running from her.


What if she dumps me?


Don't let her.


Like Nikki always says, a relationship is a two-way street.


You've got a say too, bro.


You know what? You're right!


I'm not gonna let her dump me. Way to go.


If I hurry I can still make it to Cafe Coeur Brisé to meet her.


Whoa, dude.


Cafe Coeur Brisé is THE break-up place in the mall.


They serve tissues on the menu.


It's a wonder Serena didn't take me there.


It's new. Figures. Back to Plan A.


Where are you going?


Plus-Size-Palooza, the oversized women's wear store.


It's the last place Marlowe will look for me.


I would hope so.


Hey, Jonesy. Have you seen Wyatt?


What do you mean by seen?


Have I seen him at the mall, or have I seen him naked?


Because THAT is definitely not my thing!


I need to talk to him. Do you know where he is?


Depends. What do you need to talk to him about?


That would be between Wyatt and I.


Well, then I guess I don't know where he is.


I obviously wanted Wyatt to be the one to hear this,


but... I think he and I need to take a break.


What? Why?!


We've been spending too much time together.


So spend less time together.


It's just not working, okay?


Not okay. Don't do this. For all of our sakes.


And I don't just mean you, Wyatt and myself.


Excuse me?


The last time I checked it was just me and Wyatt in this relationship.


That is exactly how the selfish-minded person thinks.


It's all about me, me, me. Wyatt, Wyatt, Wyatt.


But there's the rest of the g*ng to think of.


That's five whole other people.


Didn't you hear what happened the last time?



We can't afford a repeat of the Serena situation.


I'm not Serena.


She broke up with Wyatt in a text message.


C'mon. Wyatt has so many terrific qualities.


He has er,


great penmanship.


And he washes his hands religiously after he pees!


I know Wyatt's an awesome guy.


Though not necessarily for those reasons.


That's why I don't want us to end up hating each other.


[SIGH] Fine.


If you won't budge, at least let me break it to him.


You? You can't be serious.


Serious as a zit on prom night.


You have no idea what we -- er, I mean, what life was like


for Wyatt after Serena dumped him.


He did kinda freak out, huh?


Yes. Yes, he did.


Which is why you have to let me do it for you.


Okay. But you've got to promise to break it to him gently.


Absofrickenlutely.


If anyone knows how to toss an old ball and chain down the crapper,


GENTLY, it's me.


C'mon, he's my best friend!


Okay...


Hi. I'm hoping you can help me.


My name is Caitlin Cooke.


So you're Caitlin Cooke.


The one guys always call for.


Now I know what the fuss is about.


Uh, yeah.


The thing is there's this guy, Callum.


I gave him your number as my standard fake,


but now I need to get in touch with him.


So I was hoping that when he calls


you could give him my real number.


Sure thing, sugar,


you just give it to me... and I'll give it to him.


That would be awesome. Thanks.


Then we can share a tub of hot-buttered fun.


Uh, yeah. Right.


So as long as Wyatt avoids Marlowe


he'll never know she wants to dump him.


And we're golden!


Sweet plan, huh?


Okay, so let me get this straight.


You told Marlowe that you'd break up with Wyatt --


which is insane,


but you don't actually intend on doing it?


Correcto-mundo.


He doesn't know. She doesn't know.


We all live happily ever after.


This is ridiculous.


Somebody needs to tell Wyatt.


And live through the whole Serena thing again?


Wyatt really was devastated.


He propositioned Serena over the mall loud speaker.


And took up angst-ridden spoken word poetry.


We HAVE to tell him.


We just need to break it to him in a way that Wyatt will...


understand.


Okay, fine. Do it your way.


Any volunteers to dump him?


That's what I figured.


Fine, if nobody wants to do it, we'll draw straws.


Fine. I'll do it. I'm the relationship expert.


So what did you want to talk to me about?


Um, so Wyatt, have you ever been shopping


and seen a really cute top that you just had to have?


Uh, no.


Just go with me on this.


Say you love this top, you buy it,


but when you get it home it just doesn't work.


You know what I'm getting at?


I think so. And you're right.


That top doesn't look very good on you.


You should return it.


What? I love this top!


Maybe Jen will have better luck.


Definitely.


That top would look way better on Jen. What?!


How should I put this?


You know, Wyatt, life is like hockey.


It is?


Think about it.


There's a minute left in the third period.


You're down six goals.


Why pull the goalie and fight on?


You might as well take the loss, keep your head high,


and try to do better next time.


Do you see where I'm going with this?


Hockey can get kinda boring.


It's best to leave early before the parking lot jams up.


You know that boa constrictor at the pet store?


Yeah, what about it?


Well, every so often it's gotta shed its old, scratchy skin


so it can get some hot, new, better skin.


Know what I'm sayin', dude?


Not really.


Be the snake, bro. Be the snake.



Right.


I don't believe you people!


What is so hard about walking up to the guy and saying,


"Wyatt, Marlowe doesn't want to see you any more."


If you think it's so easy, go tell him yourself.


He's hiding from Marlowe behind that potted plant.


Wyatt, I have something to tell you.


Sure, Nikki. sh**t.


I, um, it's just that...


You need to know that, um,


I love your music!


Uh, thanks, Nikki.


Sorry, I just spotted a better hiding place.


So did you guys tell him?


Wussed out, huh? Knew it.


This job calls for a pro.


When Jonesy cuts someone loose,


they are totally ditched, dumped, bagged


and left at the curb with a twist tie!


[ ♪ ]


CAITLINBreak-up Rule Number ,


according to Teen Scene magazine...


THE source for fashion and relationship tips


for today's hot, happenin' teens.


"Never tell the person you're breaking up with,


"'I still want to be friends.'"


Totally.


They never mean it. Tell me about it!


It's like I've got enough friends.


What I wanted was a boyfriend.


Click, got the picture. Can I go now?


Just remember, Jonesy,


when you break Wyatt's heart, be careful not to hurt him!


Great. Got it. Later!


So have you heard from Callum about getting your Khaki card back?


I probably would've by now,


but I kinda, sorta...


fake numbered the guy at the Gigantoplex.


Why would you do that?!


I couldn't give that guy my REAL number.


He was a total creep.


Okay, reality check.


How are you gonna get your card back


if this Callum dude can't get in touch with you?


Actually, he can.


I gave the Gigantoplex guy the number at the Penalty Box.


What?! No way.


Maybe you better get over there.


Callum might call.


Forget it, Caitlin. I'm not your receptionist.


Alrighty, then.


I'll just answer the call myself.


Anything to get my Khaki card back. Toodles!


You know you'll get fired if she shows up at work instead of you.


Argh! I know...


[GASP] Cafe Coeur Brisé...


Jonesy's breaking the news to Wyatt.


[SOBBING] Why... why are you breaking up with me?!


Please, give me another chance!


Things are stale, huh. I'll give you stale!


Why did you wanna meet here?


Well, the truth is,


I ran into Marlowe this afternoon.


And, hard as this is to say...


things just aren't working out.


With you and Marlowe?


Dude, with YOU and Marlowe.


What?


You know it, bro.


Spending all that time together,


getting on each other's nerves.


It's been too much.


I can't believe it.


I'm getting this from you?


You're breaking up with me FOR Marlowe?


You're dumping him for some girl named Marlowe?


And switching teams?


No, you don't understand!


Don't make excuses for him!


Marlowe must be a real backstabber to come between you.


You've got it all wrong!


Wyatt and I were never... uh, anything.


Oh, so now you're denying your entire relationship?!


Hey, that one had butter on it!


Wait, Jonesy!


Give me another chance.


I'm sorry, dude. It's over.


So you two are breaking up...


No. Yes!


Love's like w*r and I've taken my share of shrapnel.


You don't get it. We're not breaking up.


You've got it all wrong.


We're not...


You're trying to break up and he won't let go.


Quite frankly, son, you can do better. Hey!


[ PHONE RINGS ]


Penalty Box!


Do I carry jockstraps?


Ew, no!


PERV!



You wanna tell me exactly what's going on here, Peewee?


[ CELL PHONE ] Excuse me, Coach.


It's a text from Nikki!


Jen, Jonesy did it! He broke up with Wyatt.


Poor Wyatt! He must be devastated.


Okay, five-minute foul for the both of you!


Sorry, Coach. On a break.


You can bench me as soon as I get back.


And I don't work here.


But somebody's gotta answer the phone for me.


Hey, Crusher,


has anybody ever told you how majorly cute you are?


Think you could answer the phone for me for just a coupla minutes?


That's it, you're all in the box!


JENOkay, we got you ice cream, everything-on-it pizza,


and lots and lots of chocolate.


The official break-up recovery kit.


Thanks guys, but I'm not in the mood.


Marlowe and I had such a good thing going.


Ooh, tasty break-up grub. Don't mind if I do.


Please, give me another chance...


I don't wanna break up!


Wyatt, chill.


This is the way it's gotta be.


The sooner you accept it, the sooner I get to the ice cream.


Got you some weepy videos, dude.


Sorry about the break up.


I heard you two made a really cute couple.


[ CELL PHONE ]


It's Coach. Hello?


COACHGet back here, MASTERSON!


Or you're my new speed bag!


I'm just kidding... no I'm not!


I heard... I'm coming!


I'll get it!


Me answer phone!


Ahhhhh! Ooofff!


[ GROAN ]


Hello.


Okay, Callum. You're in luck.


Callum will meet you at the lemon in ten.


Yessss!


Pink cami, here I come.


Wow, Wyatt.


I had no idea how much you liked ice cream.


Guess I've sorta developed a taste for it


in the time since Jonesy dumped me.


I'm sorry.


I wanted to do it,


but Jonesy convinced me it'd be easier for you his way.


and I couldn't find you anywhere.


Yeah. I was sort of avoiding you.


Things have just gotten sorta messed up.


With the band, and the mall,


we've just been spending so much time together...


I know.


We have been getting on each other's nerves.


So are you going to say you just want to be friends?


Nope. I think we're gonna be the best of ex's.


Whoa, bra.


You run into a brick wall?


A brick wall in a hockey jersey.


Hi, Callum! Whoa!


Hey, Caitlin.


Wow, you look... really different.


So um, do you have that card I gave you?


The one with my phone number on it?


Uh, I forgot it at home.


sh**t.


Well, I'd love to see you again.


Can I have your number?


Sure. Here you go.


Later!


Yay!


At least I got his number. - .


I'll just call him and pick up my card.


Um, Cait, did you say - ?


Yeah. Why?


"Call - for complete colon cleansing?!"


I got fake-numbered?


Me?!


Uh, have you looked in a mirror lately?


I'm never gonna get my Khaki card back!


C'mon, let's go get you started on a new Crappy card.


Yup. I think it's time for a little retail therapy.


And if that doesn't work,


you can always try the colon cleansing!


[ ♪ ]


So how are you doing?


Breaking up stinks...


You know, for the record,


I did beg Marlowe not to dump you.


But Marlowe and I talked and agreed this is for the best.


Which is exactly what I told her!


If there's one thing I learned from Serena,


it's that there's life after breaking up.


Right you are, bro.


There's plenty of hot chicks out there.


Including those two right over there.


Hello, ladies!



Oof. Owwww!


Hey Wyatt!


Hey. What's up?


I think he's going to be okay.


Though I can't say the same for my gut.


I think your stomach will be just fine.


Though I wish I could say the same for your big mouth.