[Party noise and chatter
from other room]
[chatter and clapping]
whoo!
Crowd: whoo!
Tooth fairy:
go! Come on!
[Cheering and applause]
you've broken our record.
Oh, why, thank you,
and I'd
also like to thank
my mother and father,
withouwhose sense of balance
I never would have--
well, then don'forget your sister
who just happens
to have a turn left.
Hold this.
[Chuckling] yeah.
Oh, come on, rudolfa.
When have you ever beaten
kristen at anything?
I'm reminded why you're
the sandman, sandman.
You're so boring,
you just naturally
put people to sleep.
Of course you should
have your turn.
Oh, isn't thajust like my baby sister?
Always fair,
always perfect.
Ok...down.
Down.
Elf: oh, yeah.
And here we go.
First elf: you can do it.
Second elf: she's doing it.
That's amazing.
Yes! Ha!
I did it. I won.
Thank you.
Oh, rudolfa?
Yes?
You don't win if you cheat.
You don't?
Dunder! What are you
doing in there?
Go!
[Everyone laughing]
santa's not here yet.
[Sighs] worse every year.
I'll go hurry him up.
[Santa sighs]
are you in here,
santa?
Yes, dear. Here I am.
Aren't you gonna
get dressed, dad?
Did you see this?
Jingle bells,
santa smells
can't gein the sleigh
he's awake--
oh, that's terrible.
Hmm?
But it's nothing.
There have always
been the one or two
who don't like
christmas. Scrooge--
and attila the hun.
The mood doesn'seem right this year.
You're santa.
You are the mood.
Maybe I'm jusgetting too old.
You're immortal.
You are old.
[Chuckles]
I mean that in
a good kind of way,
like
a wise old saying.
Always right,
always true.
Here are
your woollies.
Please get ready.
It's time for the list.
I'll be right down.
Hurry.
A few of the elves
have had a little
too much dragon mist.
Ha.
Everything is
gonna be fine, dad.
[Kiss]
christmas is coming!
[Groans]
ohhh.
Hmm.
Now, now, you guys.
Let's wait for santa.
[Applause]
ha ha ha!
Elf:
merry christmas, santa.
Tonight we starthe christmas clock
to mark the time
till christmas comes.
Hello and welcome!
Ah.
The christmas season...
[Clicks]
traditionally begins,
as it has
throughout the years,
with the running
of the list.
It is the deserving
who receive.
They are the ones
who remain on the lisand find their gifts
on christmas morning.
Every year, we see
who's been naughty
and who's been nice
because everyone is
on the list to begin with.
And it's up to every person
to remain on the lisor not.
So, proceed.
[Train whistle blows]
ha ha ha.
[Bell chimes and honks]
[faster honking]
oh, my, my.
So many names crossed off.
Stop.
[Honking stops]
I felt this coming.
[Groans]
I've known the mortal
world was growing
more and more selfish.
But goodness always
outweighs badness.
It seems the balance
has tipped
in the wrong direction.
Well, what's true
is true, santa.
The other day
a child stole
his grandpa's dentures,
put them
under his pillow,
and wrote me a note
saying he wanted
$500 for the set.
People don't care
about goodness.
They don't care
about caring.
It's only abouthe presents.
I say forget it,
I'm not going.
All: what?!
Santa: jingle bells,
santa smells,
can't get into the sleigh.
Dad! Wait!
You can't do this.
This has been coming
for a long time.
You are getting on,
father.
Don't push it,
rudolfa.
Oh, no, I mean that you
just might need a vacation.
Vacation?
Christmas is coming.
Santa can't take
a vacation for christmas.
What abouall those children
who deserve
their presents?
Well, maybe we just need
a different approach.
A different approach
to christmas?
Well, why not?
Because it's christmas.
It works fine.
Really?
Is that right, father?
She's got a point,
kristen.
You can't mean that!
You're santa claus!
Well, you know,
I guess it is time
for someone else
to step in.
Well, I was gonna take over
sooner or later, anyway.
After all, I am the eldest.
Right, father?
Dad?
Now, wait, dad.
There must be some way
for you to give this
one more chance.
What would it take?
Hope.
Hope that people
can change.
Ok. Good.
What if I could
make a family's name
who's been crossed
off the lisreappear as it was?
Before christmas eve?
Then you'd have
hope again, right?
It would prove they changed
and deserved christmas.
Please. These mortals
are a disaster.
I mean, they're noimmortal like we are,
so they're desperate,
greedy and grasping
until their time runs out.
That's not true.
If it were, no one
would be on the list.
Well, pretty soon
there might not be.
Stop. I'll give you
a chance, kristen.
At what name
did the list stop?
Ah, there.
The morgans.
If you can change them,
there's hope
for everyone.
[Cheers and applause]
but bear in mind,
once a name has been
crossed off the list,
it's very nearly
impossible
to get it back on.
P.a.: Here comes
good ol' santa claus
down through the chimney
where he drops the toys
all for the little ones'
christmas joys
ho ho ho
[honk honk]
kid: come on, lady.
Move it!
Down through the chimney
brings good saint nick
[honk honk]
radio:
well, conditions today
in the midtown region
are not looking good,
so if you're heading
into work at all today,
just give yourselves
an extra 15 or 20 minutes
to get in. We've goa bit of a tie-up
radio:
at the intersection--
[honk honk]
I know, I know.
All right, listen.
I've got an early meeting
with harley, ok?
I'm probably
gonna be home late,
so, britt, be good!
Kyle, be good!
Santa? Fat face.
Bad clothes. Won't shave.
Computer:
jingle bells, santa smells
radio: put a nice plate
of cookies--
woman: aah! Oh!
We'll be there.
[Cell phone
beeps off]
redrock?
Redrock, honey.
Whew. When?
December 24th,
their place in seattle.
That's christmas eve day.
So what?
Ggrrrr!
If that's when they wanto see our presentation,
that's when we go.
I mean, we get this account,
it's the big time.
Oh, we have to be brilliant.
Man:
what's going on?
Get away from me!
Charlene,
where you going?
Away! I'm going away!
No, no, no.
You can't do that!
The kids need you.
They need their au pair.
They've been in my drawers.
They put peanut butter
in my underwear!
It's the last,
absolute final straw!
Sure, she says
it's peanut butter.
Away! I'm going away!
Redrock.
That would put morgan-jenkins
media on the map, finally.
And then maybe you and I
can get on the map, finally.
Maybe it's time you talked
to your kids about us.
Jingle bells, wedding bells,
I would make an incredible
christmas present.
We don't need an au pair,
uncle johnny.
We have me.
Well, better geyou guys to school.
We'll tell your father
about it later.
Maybe we shouldn'tell him at all, eh?
Ha ha ha!
You know, tooth fairy,
I thought I remembered
their letter.
The morgans,
kyle and brittany.
They sent a letter
5 years ago.
She was 5, and he was 7.
Oh, I remember
those kids.
They wanted
10 bucks a tooth.
"Dear santa. I'd like
an angie hollywood doll,
"and my brother
wants a basketball.
"And we need a new clock
'cause the one we have
"doesn't seem
to give my mom and dad
"any time for themselves.
"And that's what they
keep saying they need.
"So maybe a new clock
for them.
"We're making a loof cookies for you.
Merry christmas,
brittany and kyle morgan."
That was the last time
they wrote.
So what are
you gonna do?
Pay them a visit.
The true spiriof christmas
is irresistible,
especially
at full strength.
[School bell rings]
[whistle blows]
what is it?
I don't know
what you're saying.
[Whistle blows]
kyle, what happened?
[Whistle blows]
he put perma-glue
on your whistle?
You didn't eathe lunch I packed you.
That's 'cause, like,
I've said a million times
I buy my lunch. I'm 13.
But the lunch here
is terrible.
Pizza's every vitamin
ever made.
Oh, yeah. Like it--
[whistle blows]
this time
you've done it, kyle.
We have to take
some serious action.
What are you
talking about?
This is
my brother.
He hasn'done anything.
It's suspension
this time.
Really?
You suspend him, I'm
not gonna be volunteering
at the library anymore.
I'm not gonna manage
the bake sale.
And...
I'm not gonna sign any more
of the kids' report cards
'cause
their own mothers won't.
[Dance music plays]
jump, jump.
No,
not the edge.
No, no, no.
Go. Go, go, go!
Ok, jump!
Jump through
the bridge.
Start dancing,
start dancing.
Come on,
come on.
Give me
more lettuce.
Hello!
What's going on?
[Turns off music]
bill, you're home!
We're training spot.
You know,
jumping, dancing.
Next...hollywood.
They have talking mice,
talking dogs,
it's the next thing.
Talking lizard.
Has to happen.
Ok, you know,
just forget I asked
because
I don't wanna know.
I don't wanna know,
do i, kyle?
Don't wanna know,
do i, brittany?
But you see, I do know
because the school called,
and I know thathe two of you managed
to get yourselves
suspended indefinitely,
and I know that doesn'make me very happy.
Where's charlene?
She's, uh...
She quit,
just like all the others.
Ok! Boys, girls,
weird uncles,
some things have goto change around here.
I am facing
the biggest presentation
since I started
this company,
and I don't have time
for my 2 children
to get suspended
from school!
Dad, it's not healthy
for you to get so excited.
Brittany, it's not healthy
for a girl of 10
to act as if she's 30.
It's noour fault, dad.
Oh, kyle, yes.
Yes, it was.
I want you all
to get this place cleaned up,
go upstairs to your rooms
and stay there
until the beatles
get back together.
In the meantime...
I'm gonna call
the au pair service.
I'm gonna ask 'em why,
exactly,
they haven'replaced charlene
because I pay 'em
to keep 'em coming.
I'm the only guy in town
with an au pair service
on retainer,
which just might be
the smartest thing
I've ever done in my life.
[Knock on door]
hi.
Brittany.
Brittany: may I help you?
Uh...
May I come in?
You're the new au pair?
I'm here to help.
You must be kyle.
And you're bill?
Me? No, no.
No, I'm johnny.
Jonathan smaller,
actually.
Bill: johnny!
Why didn't you tell me
charlene quit before?
Now the agency's
closed. I don't--
I'm on top of it,
bill. That's why--
kristen.
That's why
kristen is here.
Good.
Great, great. Um...
Hi. It's nice to meet you.
I'm very sorry
to leave you
with such a mess
on your first day.
I gotta go back
to the office.
Do you have a bag?
Bag?
Bill: luggage?
Oh, of course.
Yes, I'm staying.
Here it is.
Ok. Well, um...
I'll be home later,
brittany will
give you the tour,
and you two behave.
Hurricane charlene?
I've goto do my homework.
Johnny, you're not a good
influence on the kids.
Well, I try to be, bill.
Johnny, what you do
is not called trying.
Trying has to do
with applying effort,
and you--[sighs]
look, buddy, you've been
with us for 15 years.
You know,
maybe it's time
to get your own place.
Get a job.
Please. Please, bill.
Have you no heart?
Huh? Wait...
Oh. Bad news, bill,
you have no heart.
[Chuckles]
you'll see.
I'll make the kids behave.
Give me one more chance.
All right, all right.
One more chance.
Thank you! And this time
I'll make you happy
you gave me
one more chance.
It won't be
like the other times
that you gave me
one more chance.
Thank you so much for
reminding me of that.
And see a doctor
about that heart.
Eww!
I think he's serious
this time.
[Humming silent night]
dunder: I hope you like it.
It's just for you.
Your personal sleigh.
It's gotwin engine burners--
she'll never turn
the morgans.
It's your favorite
lack of color--black.
Yes, my time is nigh.
Ha ha ha!
Good job.
[Humming silent night]
kyle!
Ok, here's the plan.
We go with the perma-glue
list for starters.
Number one--
we glue her shoes
to the floor
of the closet.
Yeah, we've gotta
make her understand
that we don'want her here.
Dinner, everyone!
Hey, what is this?
Brittany:
show-off.
Whoa.
Do you expecyour father soon?
Oh, no. He's
never home for dinner.
Working at the office.
Well, let's eat,
shall we?
Don't you think
this is a little much?
It's just a nice
christmas dinner.
It's not even christmas yet.
For what we are
about to receive
and to all of those
who are watching over us,
may we be truly thankful.
You know,
we're missing something.
Missing something?
What?
Ketchup in a bowl
with a spoon.
I'll be happy
to get that for you.
Don't do it!
Since when
do you tell me don't?
Since your father and I
had a little talk--
about what?
Well, about--
about you two.
He said--
not said, warned--
kristen:
won't be a moment!
Take your time!
That if you guys
don't behave,
including and especially
treating this au pair
with kindness and
manners and courtesy,
that you guys
won't even geone present this year
for christmas. Nothing!
Probably dock
your allowances.
Probably mine, too.
I'm supposed
to get the nba nintendo
and thaextreme skateboard--
I'm supposed to gethat everywhere kit,
including the 8-inch
all-way pad.
Johnny:
well, it's up to you guys.
That's his plan.
Wasn't supposed to tell you.
Here you are.
Thank you
very much.
Kyle, you are
so very, very welcome.
I know people who believe
we should act like
it's christmas every day--
have peace and joy
and be happy to give
what we have to give.
[Door closes]
[family laughing]
hey, daddy.
Wow.
Put it on top
of the tree.
That's it,
a little closer.
Ha ha ha!
She hit me!
He hit me first!
[Plate crashes on floor]
ohh!
Uhh.
Look, she hit me,
and then she lies!
Listen to this!
Listen to this fib
just to make you think
that I hit her.
You know
what you did!
[Clears throat]
I'm sure they
didn't mean it.
Oh. Oh, yeah.
We're sorry.
Definitely.
Very sorry, dad.
Won't happen again.
No way.
Well, we should go read
so we're not behind
when we geto go back to school.
Brittany:
yeah, can't wait.
Ok. Well, there's
something I thoughi'd never hear kyle say.
Yeah, well, guess
they're really changing.
Yeah. Well, looks like
you got a way with them.
I know there's
been some problems,
but I believe they're
really good kids.
Yeah, you know,
it's been difficult,
but they'll
come around.
Never lose hope.
I, um...
Gotta get to work.
You certainly
have a lot of toys.
Dad's always
giving us stuff.
Usually the au pair
cleans the room.
But we're
supposed to.
I always
tell him to,
and
he won't.
You don'want santa coming
into a messy house,
do you?
Santa?
Of course. Santa.
Show him your best.
Do you still play
with this, kyle?
No. That's
for little kids.
Why do you
still have it?
'Cause it's mine.
I was just thinking
that there's lots of kids
who would probably
want a toy like this,
and if you're not using it,
you might consider
giving it to somebody else.
No.
Santa would think it's cool
to give that stuff away?
I'm sure.
I have a ton of stuff
that I haven't played
with in years and years.
Do you write to santa
at christmas?
I used to, but...
I stopped because
he wouldn't answer
and I grew out of it.
Besides, there's
no santa, anyway.
Used to make me
feel close to my mom.
She loved christmas.
Maybe santa would answer
if you kept trying.
He tries very hard
to give to those
who deserve.
These would've gone
to santa's mail room.
I happen to know
somebody who works there.
Kyle says the post office
just puts them in a bag
and throws them out.
Brittany,
letters sent from people
that should get to santa
always get to santa.
I've got to gethis recipe.
This is great.
You do this
every night?
Sharing the best we have
is all part of christmas.
That explains why
santa's got that gut.
Must eat like thaall the time.
It's his metabolism.
And he does like
cookies and milk.
I mean, really.
He won't stop.
Cookies and milk,
milk and cookies.
Well, let me gesome more vegetables.
She's got, like,
a christmas disease.
Hello, everybody.
You're home early.
We didn't do anything.
Who says you did?
Hi. Honey. You
forgot this in the car.
Hi, kristen.
Uh, this is harley jenkins,
my business partner.
This is--
this is kristen.
She's our new au pair.
Oh.
It's wonderful
to meet you.
Please sit down.
We've only
just begun.
Ok.
Bill: here we go.
Looks like another
christmas dinner.
Kristen says every day
should be like christmas.
Oh, well,
what a lovely thought,
but when
would people work?
What I meant was
that people
should be generous
and giving every day,
not just on christmas.
Yeah, I guess everybody
would get pretty tired
of getting presents
every day anyway.
Worth a try, though,
huh, dad?
Actually, we have a little
announcement to make.
[Cell phone rings]
harley jenkins.
Oh! Oh, yes.
Well, yes, I did send it.
Bill, was there something
you wanted to tell us?
Uh...
No. No. There wasn't.
Bill, I have to go back
to the office.
The spreadsheets
didn't get to ling.
What time is it there?
I'll call you later.
[Types on keyboard]
here's one.
We have an au pair
who thinks
she's santa claus.
Christmas everything
all the time.
Hey, kyle.
Man, I've noseen this room
so picked up in,
I don't know.
Whoa. There's
carpet in here.
Yeah. Kristen
likes things neat,
you know, for santa.
For santa.
Ok. Well...
Hey, looks good.
Kyle: it's disgusting!
Her name is kristen.
[Evil snickering]
this is going to be fun.
Uh-oh.
This might be
the same woman
we've had
complaints about before.
You could be in danger.
She's christmas crazy.
If she tells you you should
give away your old toys,
that's the first sign.
Pretty soon
she'll want you to give away
everything you have...
All in the name
of christmas.
Ask her one question:
what is your last name?
If she answers "claus,"
get rid of her.
This could be serious.
This web site is one
of my best ideas ever.
What do you think?
I didn't mean
to wake you.
No, it's ok.
I want to know
your opinion.
I think they're beautiful...
Eye-catching...
Clever.
I'm very glad I asked.
Hey.
Let me, um--let me
show you how they work.
This is called
definition relation.
"Triumph
starts with try."
We relate "triumph"
with redrock.
"Triumph
starts with try."
I love that.
And this one...
See "redrock for
the enduring family."
The family endures.
The clothes endure.
You should be very proud
of what you've created.
You know, I used to work
at this huge company.
I was a vice president.
I thoughthat's what I want,
and then,
uh, then jane d*ed,
and none of thareally mattered anymore.
And then a few years ago
harley asked me to partner
with her in this company,
and it was a struggle.
I mean we started out--
we had 2 coffee cups
and a paper clip,
but we're doing ok now.
And then with redrock...
We could really
achieve something.
I hope you gewhat you want.
Good night.
Night.
No. No.
Go back
to brittany's room.
If you insist.
I am in charge
of the mail room.
"Dear santa,
"we lost our mom this year,
so could you find her
"and make her
our gift for christmas?
"You don't have to wrap her
or anything.
"Just put her under the tree
and we'll find her,
"and she could make
her special pancakes
like she used to."
[Sleigh bells jingling]
so how is it going?
Good.
Very good, actually.
The whole north pole
can't wait to see what happens.
The morgans aren'back on the list?
No.
Well, since I got here,
they've been
behaving fine.
Maybe their names'
being off the liswas a mistake.
Well, they can'get back on the lisunless there's real hope
in their heart for change,
and so far
they're not on the list,
so whadoes that tell you?
I'm planning a lot of
christmassy things tomorrow.
I don't know.
Maybe that'll
make them remember
what christmas was like
before they lost their mom.
Well, rudolfa...
She's betting
that you won't make it.
I've never failed.
You know, the mortals
are interesting.
Hmm, not the ones I see.
Those little boys
just drooling on their pillows.
Oh, please.
They want so much,
and they work so hard.
All they want is money.
No. They want to make
themselves better.
They're striving
to do better.
And with the north pole,
everything is always
magical and wonderful.
It's so easy.
We never say,
"I can do better.
I can bebetter."
Never feel loss.
Never struggle, change.
Well, something's
gonna change
if the morgans don'get back on that list.
That's not gonna be as easy
as you think it is.
I won't fail.
It's gonna be
like pulling teeth.
O come
all ye faithful
joyful
and triumphant...
This is christmas--
giving.
Doesn't it feel good?
I'll bet we could find
a lot more of your toys
to give away.
Thank you.
[Jingle bellsplaying]
whoa.
Boy: out of the way,
mister!
Whoa!
That's it, johnny.
There you go.
I've never had a teacher
like you before.
Come on.
Hey, ow!
Sorry.
You didn'have to do that.
You kidding?
That was the first bad thing
I've done in days.
I was getting the shakes.
Anyway, if she's who
the web site says she is,
she has to go,
and quick.
But it's ok. I've gothe plan to get rid of her,
and dad
can't blame us at all.
What is it?
Just follow me.
You did really well.
Just keep practicing,
and the next time--
I was just wondering--
you are our au pair
and everything,
and we don't know
your last name.
Oh, I'm sorry.
It's claus.
As in santa claus?
Exactly.
Kyle: hey, I didn't know
they had
a christmas tree lot here.
You guys don't have
a tree at home yet.
Why don't we get one?
Get a christmas
tree?!
Of course.
It's christmas.
Come on.
Now, this happens to be
one of my specialties.
How did I know?
Never thoughi'd say it,
but it's nice
having another woman
in the house
to share the burden.
Johnny: psst.
There's at leas10 listings here
for the name claus.
Doesn'mean anything.
I'm telling you, she--
bill:
hello, everybody.
I'm home.
What is this?
It's
a christmas tree.
Everybody knows
we don't allow
a christmas tree
on christmas.
Is there a better time
to have one?
There's never a better time
to have one here.
May I ask why?
You may not ask why,
so don't.
Johnny, get this thing
out of here.
Bill, jane's been gone
a long time.
Great. You see
what you've done?
I am so sorry.
All right, look,
I just want everybody
to go to their rooms,
ok? Now.
Bill: everybody.
[Knock on door]
[kyle, whispering]
this one was certifiable.
She was going to give away
everything we've got.
Man, it was
the perfect sting.
Dad's sure
to get rid of her now.
Brittany:
yeah, for sure.
Kyle: hey, we're in this
together, right?
Nobody comes in here
and takes the place of mom.
I know.
You even had me almost
believing you liked her.
Yeah.
I should get an oscar.
It's amazing
how she fell for it,
but the important
thing is
we've held out
long enough
for dad
to get the presents,
and with the big meeting
coming up,
there's no way
he can take 'em back.
It's been 5 years.
She was my sister.
She was your wife.
We all loved her,
but we have to move on.
You think she wouldn'want us to have a tree?
So when
kristen suggested it,
I thoughit was a good idea.
No, here's a good idea--
get a job.
I'm in the same
business as you--
advertising.
Johnny, selling space
to whoever on your car
is not being in advertising.
Look, johnny,
after the holidays,
i--i want you out.
Kristen, um...
I--i shouldn't have, uh...
Look, christmas is...
Wasa very special time
for all of us,
you know,
when jane was alive,
and the tree--
that was her--
that was her thing,
and so when she d*ed,
I just decided, well,
we're just nogonna have one anymore,
and I don't know why.
Look, the point is i...
Kristen?
Rudolfa: something wrong,
miss perfect?
Don't tell me I was righabout the mortals.
What's this?
What does it look like?
It's my new sleigh.
It's all ready for
a test run, rudolfa, dear.
Kristen: your sleigh?
It's going to be
the new and improved christmas.
It's about time.
The whole thing was so old.
It's time for christmas
to get on to the next level.
Which is what?
Christmas fool's day.
It's a combination of
christmas and april fool's.
You give everyone
prank gifts,
like anti-gifts.
You know, you give
a gift that gets someone--
whoopee cushions,
hand buzzers,
icky-poo in the shoe.
I don't believe this.
It's going
to be the first ever
just kidding christmas.
Wait a minute!
[Sleigh engine starts]
if santa's
not going, I am.
I'm the eldest, so you
stay out of the way.
Rudolfa!
[Santa hums]
santa: enter!
Dad, do you know
what rudolfa is--
oh, kristen!
You're back!
What are
you doing?
Oh, I'm going
to hawaii for christmas
like everybody else.
What do you think?
They're a presenfrom rudolfa.
But whaabout christmas?
Ah, christmas
doesn't need santa.
Mrs. Claus: these worked
out just fine, dear.
Ooh, perfect!
Mother, you're
condoning this?!
Oh, everyone
needs a vacation.
Your father's been
doing this forever
literally.
Santa has
to deliver presents
to those who deserve.
The world depends on it.
All those children
will wake up
on christmas morning with
nothing under their tree.
They'll be so disappointed,
they'll stop believing
in their wishes.
You think there's not enough
goodness in the world now?
Wait until the ones
who deserve their gifts
don't get them.
A deal is a deal.
Just because
I couldn't gea couple of selfish,
spoiled kids to behave
doesn't mean the resof the world has to suffer.
We can't lerudolfa do this.
Just because
she's older?
Where is it written
that just because--
actually, this is
what is written.
Do you remember
this, dear?
"Such a person
as santa claus
"shall deliver to
those whose goodness
"makes them deserving
gifts on christmas eve.
"If he abdicates
his duties,
"a successor who can perform
all of santa's tasks
"may ascend to the post.
"If no one can be found,
then the tradition
will be no more."
Wait, you mean rudolfa
can take over christmas?
Well, christmas isn'all milk and cookies.
Face it. I have.
Know what I mean?
Think about it.
Anyway...
"A successor who can perform
all of santa's tasks"?
But, dad, nobody
can do what you do.
I have to catch a wave!
Mom, isn't there anyone else
who can take over for santa?
People do all kinds of things
if they have to, dear.
Aloha!
[Door closes]
hey, there.
How you doing?
Hey, guys.
Wow. You look so good.
So you guys
willing to give me a try?
Giddy-up.
On, cupid, on, rudolph!
On, comet, donner.
Slow down, rudolph.
Kristen: whoa! Rudolph!
Slow down!
Gonna get you!
Rudolfa! Aaah!
Ooh! Ooh, bye-bye.
[Screaming]
[crash]
I expected
a little cooperation.
Wait a minute.
Did rudolfa get to you?
Rudolph!
No wonder they named her
after you.
[Clock ticking]
[gears turning]
dad never showed me this.
Of course.
How else can he do
all that on christmas eve?
He freezes time.
I'm never going to be able
to figure this ouin time for christmas.
Time freezing:
theory and practice.
"Hereby minute to minute,
the time is locked.
Thirty minutes permitted
on the time freeze clock."
What are you reading?
Oh, i--
I don't know, really.
I was gonna take over
for santa this year,
but I guess the truth is
nobody
can take his place.
I was sure
I could make the morgans
be a giving family
just by showing them
what it is to be giving,
but i--
I failed.
I didn't know how hard--
not everything is easy,
not even for you.
I don't know what to do.
Well, there's
only one thing to do.
You don't have a choice.
You have to make it work
with the morgans.
That's
impossible, too.
Oh, I guess there won'be a christmas this year.
There has
to be a christmas.
Then the only
christmas to be
is rudolfa's
just kidding christmas.
Oh, please
don't let that happen!
Oh, please! Oh, please!
You're right.
I'm always right.
That's why I haven'been able to find a man yet.
"Triumph
starts with try."
I have to try harder
with the morgans.
No kidding, but how?
They're tough.
Christmas is noall milk and cookies.
I have to be tough, too,
tougher than they are.
You tough?
Oh, please.
I've seen a lot,
but I ain't seen that.
Why do we have to go?
Because the au pair service
is closed for the holidays,
and I can't leave you here
with your uncle johnny.
He's worse than you two are.
So everybody comes with me.
We're spending christmas
in a hotel?
We're gonna be back
by then, brittany.
You're gonna geyour christmas presents--
that's what you care about,
right?--Anyway.
Ok, guys.
Here's the drill.
It's gonna take us abou7 hours to get to the hotel.
Now, your uncle johnny
will attempt to take care
of you for one evening
without all of us
getting thrown out of the hotel
before I can make
the presentation with harley.
Ok?
Everybody got that?
Harley, hi. It's me.
Yeah, we, uh,
we got a late start.
Yeah, we. I told you
the au pair quit.
Fly? My kids
have been banned
by every major
airline, so...
Just get here and make sure
you have the presentation.
No, I've got the presentation.
I've got the flip chart,
the gifts for redrock,
yeah. Got it.
Yeah, I'll be there.
I miss you.
Yeah, me, too. Bye.bill--
bill!
Ok, order up.
Let's get back on the road.
Maybe I'll just ask them
to grind up
a cheeseburger in a cup
and I'll drink iwhile we're moving.
You know, kyle, I really
don't need that right now.
You don'need anything ever.
Just don't start.
Bill:
is that kristen?
Dad, where
are you going?
Bill: I'm gonna
ask her to come back.
No, dad. No.
She's crazy...
Christmas crazy.
Her whole name
is kristen claus--
like in "santa claus."
Dad, she's dangerous.
Ok, so I won't give her
any sharp objects.
Order to go.
Kristen.
Hello, bill.
Whoa! How's this for
a coincidence, huh?
You know,
we looked for you
after you left, and
you kinda disappeared.
I know, but here I am.
Yeah, yeah.
Um, you know,
I've got thapresentation in seattle,
and I had to bring johnny
and the kids with me,
so, uh, so--so the house
will be there
when I got back.
Ahh.
Yeah.
You know, this is a
kinda crazy idea, but...
Maybe you could
come with us?
You know, I'd get you
a hotel room,
and you could
help johnny?
That is crazy.
Yeah, um, kristen,
it would really,
really help me out.
You know, I could
concentrate on the meeting
and not have to worry
about what's going on
at the hotel,
and...also, i...
Really wanted
to apologize to you
about the way
I spoke to you
the last time
we saw each other.
I'm sorry.
Ok. There's jussomething you should know.
Yeah?
With me and the children,
it's not gonna be
all milk and cookies.
Yeah. Ok.
Whatever it takes.
Thank you. There's
a lot at stake here.
[Whispering]
you have no idea.
What?
Uh, first of all,
it wasn't my fault.
And second,
we got a flat.
Ok. Excuse me.
Oh!
What are you doing?
I'm gonna call
the auto club.
Oh, come on.
I can change this flain 5 minutes.
It'll take them an hour
to get here,
wherever "here" is.
You think you can?
No problem.
Ok.
Hi. It's good
to see you guys.
I know what you two
were doing.
Meaning what?
Meaning you were juspretending to have manners
and act righfor the presents.
You didn'really mean it.
So I want you to know
I don't appreciate it,
and something
we used to have
we don't have anymore--
a very precious thing.
What?
We already know
what we're getting
for christmas.
It's nothing
like that.
It's trust.
It's a gifi gave you before.
Now it's a gifyou'll have to earn.
Like we care.
You mighwant to start.
You mighwant to stop.
You guys think
you're tough, don't you?
You scared away
all the others.
Come on,
brittany.
Ok, ok. No, harley,
I'm telling you,
he fixed it.
No, he really did.
I got to put this thing on
and we'll be on our way.
All right?
Ok. Bye.
Johnny: put on the hubcap
and I'll lower the jack.
Harley: b-b-bill!
Don't hang up, bill!
Bill: no, wait!
Harley: bill? Bill,
are you listening to me--
oops.
Oops? No, no, no.
No. "Oops" doesn'cover this one, johnny.
"Please, god, no"
maybe.
But not "oops."
Here you go.
Thank you.
Oh, yeah. Yes!
Yes, mm-hmm.
More. Mm-hmm.
[Whoopee cushion farts]
dunder.
Yes, sweetness?
We have to go
among the mortals.
Come with me.
[Elf laughing]
ok, if anybody sees
a gas station, yell.
Gas station?
We haven't seen anything
for an hour.
Yeah, and that's why
I'm sure that something
is probably just ahead,
because how long
can you go
without seeing anything?
Right?
[Mumbling]
like a car...
Or a phone booth.
I'm sure we'll be fine.
[Wolf howling]
nothing to it.
What's next?
Oh, jusa few more things
from my little
bag of tricks.
Now where
are we going?
When are we
gonna be there?
Guys, it's just a detour.
It's probably a short cut.
We'll be back
on the highway soon.
I hope.
And I think it's time
we turn up the heat.
Whatever you say,
darling.
"Darling"? Dunder,
I know you can't think
that you and--
me and you.
I can't think
when I'm around you.
Your hands,
your eyes,
the way your mouth's
always turned down.
Oh! Shh!
All right,
get out there
and act like a deer.
Go.
How does a deer act?
Get out there!
Rudolfa!
Rudolfa!
Help!
Rudolfa!
Johnny:
kids, hold on!
All: uhh!
Are you okay?
Johnny: is everybody
all right?
Kristen:
what just happened?
The deer.
I had to swerve
to avoid the--
the deer.
Didn't you see--
did you see it?
All: no.
All right. Ok, ok.
We're ok.
We're ok. Let's jusget out of the car.
Everybody go--
go that way.
Johnny:
go ahead, go ahead.
Now take your time,
sweetheart.
Bill: come on,
you guys. It's ok.
It's ok.
[Grunts]
whew.
Oh, man.
Kyle: way to go,
dad. Great driving.
Brittany:
are we gonna die?
No, no. We're
not gonna die.
Whew. Well, looks like
our work here is done.
[Whispers]
here we go.
Bill: we're gonna
think of something else.
Is that a house
over there?
Brittany: I'm so cold.
Let's just hope
they have a phone.
I goto get to seattle.
Guys, come on.
Follow me.
[Wolf howls]
kyle: way to go.
Brittany:
you broke it, dad.
Bill: yeah, yeah, yeah.
I saw that.
Ok, guys, come on in.
Everybody, come on.
Be careful.
Come on, brit. You,
uh, wait here, ok?
With your uncle johnny,
please.
We're gonna go scout...
There.
Oh, and, um, and
look for a phone. Ok?
[Farts]
hey, hey.
Look what I found.
Let there be light.
Bill: all right,
everybody. Listen up.
Kristen:
if we work together,
we can help each other
get through this.
Is there
anything to eat?
I should have broughmy other sweater.
I should have broughmy blender.
That machine
can do anything.
I think we need
to make some rules.
Who made you
king?
Kyle, do you
have any ideas?
Kristen: anyone who
wants to eat...works.
If you don't put in,
you don't take out.
We're getting
take-out?
No. No, we're nogetting take-out.
Now we need volunteers
to go to the car
and get the bags
and anything else thawe might be able to use.
Kristen: ok, I'm going.
Ok. I'm going, too.
It's a bluff.
I've still got to geto a business meeting.
No wonder your kids
are this way.
What?
Whoa. What are you
talking about?
Maybe it's escaped
your attention,
but you have
a few problems here.
It's cold,
there's no food,
no transportation,
and what are you
worried about?
Your
business meeting.
Yeah, kristen,
this meeting is importanto the future
of my family.
You use that excuse
so you won'have to confronthe facthat your kids
are out of control
because you
aren't home enough
to be a father
to them.
Ok, look.
I do the best I can.
No.
No, you hire
the best you can
to take care of them.
You buy the best you can
to amuse them,
but where are you?
At work.
Kristen.
My work is importanto all of us.
Being a dad is importanfor all of us.
I'm cold.
Whew!
Oh...
[Engine stalling]
I want you to know
that you were right.
About me
hiding in my work.
Well, it's never too late
for a father to be a dad.
Yeah. Well, um...
Let's get the bags.
Here you go.
Thanks.
No. You know,
if the kids
want their bags,
they know where they are.
[Sighs]
hey, where's
our stuff?
It's righwhere you left it.
Let's make a fire.
Who wants to help?
Johnny: I saw some more
broken boards we could burn.
Great. You get those.
I'm gonna go
check the basemenand see if there's
anything we can use there.
[Laughing]
whoa, whoa, whoa!
Watch your step.
Are you ok?
Yeah, yeah.
Wow.
Wow.
Whew.
[Coughs]
hey, look at this.
What?
My mom
makes this stuff.
Think it's any good?
Yeah.
Seal's not broken.
What do you think?
I think it's good.
Let's eat.
We'll be fine here tonight,
and then tomorrow
we'll find a way out.
Mmm. These are good.
That's not very nice.
Mmm. There's
a flashlight here.
There's more preserves
in the basement.
That isn't very nice.
You should be sharing.
That's
the nice thing to do.
You know
what we are sharing?
We're sharing
responsibility,
and you're welcome to all
the responsibility you want.
Ahem. I'm gonna
go look in the basement.
I'm not going
down there.
Me neither.
Kristen:
I have a feeling
we're gonna be here
a while.
You guys are
gonna get hungry.
[Snoring]
kyle, whaare you doing?
I'm gonna find
something to eat.
Don't know why they
didn't bring up more.
Maybe they're trying
to teach us a lesson.
Maybe we should learn it.
Hey, look at this.
What?
You probably
don't remember.
Mom?
Mom used
to read it to us
on christmas eve
a long time ago.
I remember.
You were 3.
5, And I have
a good memory.
What was ishe used to say?
"You get all
that you give."
Yeah. "You get all
that you give."
I don't know why
mom had to die.
Me, neither.
You know something?
Dad neither.
Really?
No. I asked him
one time.
He said he didn't know
and went back to work.
Do you think
mom watches over us?
What do you mean?
Like at dinner,
at home.
Kristen said,
"and thanks to those
watching over us."
I mean, do you think
mom sees what we're doing?
[Irritated]
I don't know.
I've been thinking,
if she does, I want her
to be proud
of how we are.
Remember I wrote to santa
a long time ago
and asked him
to bring back mom?
And you told me
not to send it.
Because it was stupid.
Well, I didn't send it.
But what if santa
kind of got it anyway?
What if he senhis own daughter
here for us?
You know, kristen.
What?
Kristen claus.
What if
she's christmas crazy
because she really
is santa's daughter?
No, that's crazy.
What if she's
santa's answer to my letter?
That's impossible.
There's no santa claus.
I don't know
if there is or not.
I know one thing:
there is kristen.
Everyone's gonna
be waking up soon.
I'm going to make them
breakfast in bed.
[Faint snoring]
what are you doing?
Breakfast in bed
is served.
Share the responsibility.
Hey, uncle johnny.
[Snorts]
can you bring me
down to the car
to get my bags?
Yeah. Yeah,
I was just thinking
I'd like to do that.
Hmm.
You know whai don't understand?
Hmm?
Maybe I shouldn't say.
No.
No. What?
I don't understand
how you can look so good
this early
in the morning.
Brittany: dear santa,
first I want to say
you don't have
to bring me anything.
We're having an unusual
christmas this year.
For one thing, I've decided
to behave a lot better.
And dad is here.
It's, like, the moswe've seen him in years.
It feels special and new.
I think it's
because kristen's here.
And suddenly
we're at this old house
where we don't have
anything but each other.
And that turns outo be everything we need.
I just wish
kyle could see it.
But I'm worried,
'cause he's been acting bad
for so long,
he maybe doesn'know how to be good
anymore.
And the other reason
I'm writing
is to say that if I have
one more christmas wish
this year,
I'd want it to be
that kristen stays with us.
I know mom would want us
to be happy with her.
Somehow we feel
like a family again.
It's kind of like
I remember it.
Except kyle was with us.
And it's
such a good feeling,
I don't want it to go away,
even when christmas is over.
Is that all right?
Could you check with mom?
Love, brittany morgan.
P.s. Are you
and kristen related?
If you don't show up
to this meeting,
then don't bother
getting this message
because we will have
nothing to talk about.
Do you
understand me, bill?
It will be over
if you aren't here!
And I will take the meeting
without you.
[Cell phone beeps]
bill: ahh!
Ok. So,
who wants to help me
decorate
the christmas tree?
Brittany: kyle?
Kyle, please come in.
What for?
Come on, kyle.
It's time for the angel.
It's just like
things used to be.
No, it isn't.
She isn't mom.
She doesn'care about us.
You're wrong, kyle.
She does care.
She loves us.
You're dreaming.
She might like dad,
but she doesn't like us.
Y-you gewhat you give, kyle.
I'm telling you,
she doesn't care.
It's you who doesn'care about anyone...
But your own self.
Hey.
He'll come back.
He will, when
he's ready to.
He won't go far.
Well--
bet mom
would have loved it.
Yeah.
Me, too.
Johnny: aw, group hug.
And now,
ladies and gentlemen,
I have a surprise.
Dad, kristen,
could you step outside
for a second
so we can get ready?
Ok.
Sure, sure.
Ok. All right.
Kyle!
Kyle!
There he is.
Bill: kyle,
come inside, it's--
it's too cold
out here.
You don't need me.
Just leave me alone.
Maybe--maybe it's better
if we just let him
come on his own time.
Yeah.
You know,
it's funny, kristen.
I, uh...
My business deal
is probably dead by now.
Harley
probably hates me.
And none of iseems so important.
You're talented.
You'll have
other meetings this year.
Other jobs.
But you and your family
will have this christmas
only once.
It's like this snowflake.
There will
only ever be one.
This christmas
is one of a kind.
It's precious time
here for a moment,
and then gone,
except for those
who share it together.
For them,
the shared memory
is a part of who they are
forever after.
You being
with your children
is the greatest gifyou have to give.
Just you.
It's the one
they've needed most.
What is it about you?
One day, you just walk
in my front door, and...
And the way
that you see things...
And the way that you
make me see things
that...i know are true.
About how I feel.
Kristen, I never
thought I'd...
Feel that way again.
You make me believe.
I'm--is something--
something wrong?
No.
Something is right.
The snow
reminds me of home.
Yeah.
Where is that?
Far away.
Aha. Yes.
Yeah, there are things
that I don't like
to talk about, either.
No, it's--
it's not that.
Then what?
Well...
Do you believe
in santa claus?
I would
if you told me to.
What?
What?
I was just wondering
what the tooth fairy
would say about this.
Brittany: ok,
you guys can come in!
Take your seats, please.
"'Twas the nighbefore christmas
"when all
through the house
"not a creature
was stirring,
"not even a mouse.
Johnny:
"the stockings were hung
"on the chimney
with care...
"In hopes
that saint nicholas
would soon be there."
Ho, ho, ho, ho!
Ho, ho, ho.
"The children
were nestled
"all snug
in their beds
"while
visions of sugarplums
danced
in their heads."
La la la
la la la
[all giggle]
"and mama in her kerchief
"and I in my cap
"had just settled
our brains
for a long winter's nap."
Fire. Fire!
Brittany: daddy!
Bill: kristen, johnny,
come on! Now!
Kristen: come with me.
Come on, let's go.
Come on. Hurry.
I want to gemommy's angel!
Where's kyle?!
Where's kyle?!
Kyle!
Dad!
Bill: kyle!
Kristen:
where's brittany?
Brittany. Brittany!
Mommy's angel!
Bill:
brittany!
Brittany!
Brittany!
Honey, come here!
Hold on. Hold on to me.
Mommy's angel!
Hold on.
It's all right, honey.
Uhh!
Mommy's angel!
Johnny:
here, I got her.
It's ok.
You got her?
Yeah, I got her.
I got her.
I got her. Come on.
No!
No! No!
No, brittany, wait!
No, no!
Dad?
Dad?
[Glass breaking]
dad?
Dad?
Dad! Dad!
Are you ok?
[Choking]
kristen: kyle!
I'm all right.
Move back.
Aah! Ow!
All: oh!
Brittany: daddy!
Wait! Wait,
brit! Come on!
[All coughing]
move back.
Brittany:
it's kyle! Kyle!
Kyle's dead!
Dead! Kyle!
Daddy!
Kyle!
Kyle! Kyle.
Oh, my god.
Please be ok.
Kyle? Kyle?
Kristen, do something.
I don't know! Wait.
Hereby minute to minute,
the time is locked,
thirty minutes permitted
on the time freeze clock!
[Panting]
what are you
doing here?
Kyle's dying.
I have to find
a way to save him.
There's so little time.
Tooth fairy, help.
I don't know what to do.
Um, uh, ok.
I--i remember
something once.
Wha? Any--anything.
Ok, uh,
the immortals can trade
their immortality
for mortality
just to save somebody
from the brink.
Then
that's what I'll do.
You would give up
your immortality?
To help them,
I'd give anything.
That is so beautiful.
Oh...please just...
Try and remember me.
What are you
talking about?
Well, when
you become mortal,
you--you forgewhat all this was.
No, no.
I'll always remember.
Ohhh.
[Gasps] oh!
What is this?
It's christmas eve,
and you lost.
So, now it's
going to be a...
Just kidding
christmas.
I'm ready, darling.
Oh, dunder, I'm sorry,
but there's only room
for one on this trip.
You'll just have to take
a snow shower.
[Train whistle blows]
what is that?
Tooth fairy: the list!
The morgans are back on!
Come on, girl.
Oh, ah, ah,
ah, ah. No.
You still lose.
It's too late.
Dad's not home, and
christmas eve is over.
No. No, it isn't.
Not until the christmas
clock chimes.
Santa: everything
will be all right.
It's not christmas eve
in hawaii.
There's still time.
We can still
have christmas.
You did it, kristen.
Oh, ho!
And there's
a lot to do, rudolfa.
Come with me. I have
a special job for you.
Oh, a special job.
[Whoopee cushion farts]
[laughing]
are we in time?
Dad?
I made sure we are.
The question is...
Kristen,
are yousure?
I know I love him.
I love them all.
Then you've found
the greatest of gifts.
Did you know
all this was gonna happen?
Let's just say
I have a talenfor making sure
that people who deserve
get the gifts
that are best for them.
[Chuckles]
what do I do?
Within every immortal
is the gift of healing,
which,
when given freely,
makes a weak flame
burn brightly.
With your hand
on his heart,
the wish in your hearwill come true.
But I'll no longer
be immortal.
Will I still
remember, dad?
If you believe,
you'll find a way.
You'll always
be my daughter.
Here...
Little present. Huh?
Get everybody home
for christmas.
[Laughs]
I love you, dad.
Rudolfa!
Kyle?!
Kyle!
What happened?
Did I ever tell you
how much I believe
in santa claus?
Oh!
Father, is this
really necessary?
After all, my sleigh
doesn't need to be pulled.
Santa's sleigh
may be damaged,
the reindeers
may have run off,
I may have to use
this contraption
of yours this year,
but I have to keep up
at least a modicum
of appearances.
Did you forget the nose?
Fine.
Just waitill next year.
Then let's be off.
We have to make up time.
Merry christmas!
[Jet engine roars]
santa: merry christmas!
Oh ho ho ha ha
ho ho ho!
Merry christmas, dad.
Captioning made possible by
paramount pictures corporation
captioned by the national
paramount pictures corporation
santa: merry christmas.
Our first christmas
more than
we've been dreaming of
old saint nicholas
must have known
that kiss
would lead
to all of this
it must have been
the mistletoe
the lazy fire,
the falling snow
the magic
in the frosty air
that made me love you
that christmas eve
a wish came true
that nighi fell in love with you
it only took one kiss
to know
it must have been
that mistletoe
the mistletoe
say, the mistletoe
it must have been
that mistletoe
must have been...
Once Upon a Christmas (2000)
Moderator: Maskath3