05x11 - Sammy and Me/The Last Temptation

[bunniefuu]

( chirping birds )

( giggling )

Oh !

( whistling )

Ah !

It's here !

( panting and cackling )

Now I can be just
like my hero.

My very own
Sammy mantis kit.

Gimme !

Cool threads !

Tap shoes !

Screw-on thorax.

Golly, Sammy's
insect eye.

Hey, Ren.

Yeah !

Oh, man.

Hey, Ren,
guess who I am,

babe, man, babe.

Lorne Greene ?

Oh, Ren, you're not
even trying.

I know !

He's famous for his
impersonations,

like this one.

Er, um, "I thought
if you heard,

"you could--
hey, lady, pretty lady,

oh ding, ding !"

Well, well ?

Guess again.

Wally cox ?

Hmm.

I know,
I will sing for you.

Ka-chicka, ka-chucka,
ka-Chicka-chicka-chicka.

♪ Who can say his prayers ♪

♪ when he's
eating lunch ? ♪

♪ Man ♪

♪ the mantid man
the mantid man can ♪

♪ the mantid man can when he
bites down on your skull ♪

♪ and sucks out
all your brains ♪

♪ and, mmm, it tastes good ♪

♪ who could
eat his siblings ♪

♪ and his mom and dad ? ♪

Come on, Ren,
you know the words !

♪ The mantid man
the mantid man can ♪

♪ the mantid man can when he
bites down on your skull ♪

♪ and sucks out
all your brains ♪

♪ and, mmm, it tastes good ♪

♪ I know it
tastes real good ♪

Stimpy, I know
who you are...

Merv tormel.

Stimpy, what are
you doing ?!

Ow, ow, ow !

Okay, okay, okay !

Sammy mantis,
you're Sammy mantis !

Duh, how'd ya guess ?

Cut out this
Sammy mantis crap

and get to bed !

( hooting owl )

Ren, would you
read me a story ?

No.

I'll do
anything you say.

Will you lick
my toes clean ?

Yes.

Would you throw away all
your magic nose goblins ?

Yea...

well, tough guy ?

I'll do it !

All right.

You promise ?

Yes.

Now let's get
this over with.

Crazy !

What ?!

"Once upon a time,
handsome prince Sammy

"bit the evil snow queen's
head off.

The end."

( burps )

That's not
all the story.

It is now.

Good night, you idiot.

( crowing rooster )

( snoring )

Sammy !

( man )
Sammy, Sammy !

( man )
Bite me !

Come on, bite me,
you big mantis !

Oh, guys--
hey, please, cats.

You're gonna rip
my threads.

This is not cool, babe.

I, I-- look, I am
out of here, man.

Sammy !
Sammy !
Sammy !

( woman )
Bite my head off...
please !

( maniacal cackle )

Sammy's having a party.

Oh, look at all
the beautiful people.

Hey, it's joey beetle
and dean mayfly !

Ooh, peter locust.

Wow !

Ahhh !

Liberoachee !

Oh, oh, oh...

it's, it's,
it's him-- oh !

How about a little
duet, Sammy ?

( giggling )

( man )
Aw, come on now, Sammy,
go on and give 'em a song.

Come on,
Sammy, do it.

Sammy !

Kow, kow,
kow-Kow-ka-chow.

♪ Who can say his prayers ♪

♪ when he
eatin' lunch... ? ♪

Oh, Sammy !

♪ ...The mantid man can when
he bites down on your skull ♪

♪ and sucks out
all your brains ♪

♪ mm-mmm it tastes good ♪

♪ who can
eat his siblings ♪

♪ and his mom and dad ? ♪

♪ The mantid man can
the mantid man can ♪

♪ the mantid man can when he
bites down on your skull ♪

♪ sucks out
all your brains ♪

♪ and, mmm, it is
yummy, man ♪

♪ mm-mm-mm, I'm munchin' ♪

( Jerry )
That was so good.

( man )
Aw, shut up, jerry.

Oh, what happened ?

Sammy !

Oh, I missed my song.

Oh, Sammy, I have a little
favor to ask of you.

You know, I, I've always
dreamed you'd bite my head off.

( man )
Aw, bite off his head.

( Jerry )
Come on, chew his head off.

Yeah.

Well, okay, man,
if you insist, man.

I wish my brother George
were here !

( screaming )

Lucky, lucky, lucky.

Gosh, I wish sammy'd
gnaw my head off.

Hey, man, I've got
my eye on you.

Weren't you
at my signing, man ?

Ooh-- why, yes.

I-- I'm your
biggest fan.

I have all
your exoskeletons.

Listen, cat, what right
do you have

to come on my property
and steal my dead skin ?!

Gee whiz, all I wanted
to do was meet you.

You're my idol.

( bawling )

Say, babe,
how would you like me

to bite your head off ?

Oh, it's too much
to hope for.

It's like
a dream come true.

I got you, babe.

♪ Who can
eat his siblings ♪

♪ and his
mom and dad ? ♪

♪ Yeah ♪

♪ the mantid man can
the mantid man can ♪

♪ the mantid man can when
he bites down on your skull ♪

♪ and sucks out all
your brains ♪

♪ and, ooh,
it tastes good ♪

( burps )

Good night, Stimpy.

( mumbling )
Good night, Ren.

Hey, Stimpy, hurry up
with that oatmeal.

I'm starving !

Be ready in a sec.

It'd better be lumpy.

You know how I hate
runny oatmeal.

No problem, Ren.

Lumpy is
as lumpy does.

All right, where's my
dad-Blasted oat--

voici c'est lumps,
monsieur.

Allow me.

Whelp, enjoy your lumps.

I'm off to see
my stories.

Man, now that's
what I call lumps !

( gulping )

( shrieking )

( gagging )

Stimpy...

( wheezing )
Stimpy...

( whizzing b*ll*ts )

( chattering )
Hey, Ren ?

What ?

I gotta go wee-wee.

Oh, no you don't.

Not in my
foxhole !

You go over there.

( panting )

( bawling )

( laughing )

What a riot !

( mooing )

( grunting )

Whew !

Oh, boy.

Me, it's hot
up here.

So, another dis-guided
member of the flock, eh ?

Uh, what's your
name, lad ?

Uh, Hoek, Ren Hoek !

You watch
that dirty mouth !

My son, I has brought
thee here today

to teachest thou
the virtues of lawn care.

You see those weeds ?

They are your
transgressions.

What are you
lookin' at ?!

You must rip them out
by the roots.

You see them
crabgrasses ?

They represent your
evil ways.

Ha-ha !

Oh, wise guy, eh ?

How do you
like them apples ?

They're the bad
things you do

to the ones who
are closest to you.

You have to annihilate them
with a defoliant of love.

And you see this
little bugger here ?

He is your greedy little
cigar beetle.

Hey, little fellow,
what you got there ?

Oh, no, you don't !

I found this
and it's mine, you hear ?!

All mine !

You must rid thyself
of worldly goods

by kicking the cigars
of greed into the street.

You see, son, your lawn
reflects your life.

And you can't have a good
life without some pruning...

and manure !

And that's why I'm giving
you a second chance.

Go back, Hoek,
and tend thy garden.

And I've been shown
the error of my ways.

I am a changed man.

Well, good-bye,
your worship.

And thanks
for everything.

I won't let you down.

Farewell,
goodly rodent.

Pasta la pizza.

( man )
Hey, Cobb, what's
goin' on out there ?

Uh, sorry, sir !

Boy, I'm sorry I ever hired
that good-for-nothing gardener.

( laughing )

Will you get
a load of that ?

( chuckling )

Does this k*ll you,
or what ?

( cackling )

Oh, I'm dyin' !

Stimpy, I'm back !

I'm alive !

Come, Stimpy,
we've much to do.

No, Ren, you can't,
you mustn't.

Have you taken leave
of your senses, man ?

Shh.

Stay thy tongue,
my son.

I hereby rid myself

of my most valued
worldly goods:

my collection of
celebrity toupees.

William shattered...

Burt...

and bazoo the clone.

Stimpy, I have something
to get off my chest.

My friend,
for the last 20 years

I've been embezzling money
from your piggy bank.

I hope you can forgive me.

Here, it's a
million bucks,

every last cent of it.

Wow, a million bucks !

I'll see you
later, Ren.

I've got some
spendin' to do.

( laughing )

Omm... omm...

go ahead,
enjoy your evil ways.

But I'm warning you,
you'll be sorry !

Hey, Ren, you don't
have to eat straw and rocks

if you don't want to.

( burps )

I got plenty
of food to share.

You mark my words,
Mr. Greedy glutton,

someday you'll be sorry

for your evil,
wantonness ways.

Okay, suit yourself.

( gasping )

Ren... I'm choking.

( gagging )

Don't worry, Stimpy,
I'll save you...

( honking horn and whistling )

I'll, uh, go for help.

So, back to your old tricks,
eh, johnny ?

Are you gonna let
your friend snoopy choke ?

Or are you gonna do
the right thing ?

( wheezing )

Good work, dippy.

And as a reward, you get
to spend the next 50 years

with your stupid
friend there.

Of course,
there's the matter

of all these worldly goods.

And seeing as they were all
bought with ill-gotten gains,

I'll have to confiscate
everything as evidence.

Good-bye.

( bawling )