01x05 - Champions

[bunniefuu]

[Whirring]

[Cheering]

- 42.2633 meters!

Zzok has beaten
his own record

In the standing
spin-burrow

For gold medal number 3!

- That's right, frank.

In true intergalactic
game spirit,

The largely carbon-based
crowd has taken

This plucky sephian
into their hearts.

- Live from olympus 12,

Our coverage of the lucky


Continues with the classic
dodecathlon.

- 12 Brutal heats
that pit competitors

From every quadrant.

Only the very best
of the best.

- You got that right.

- Look at that crowd,
lightning lad.

- What can I say,
superman?

They love me.

- Must be the altitude.

Commentator: there's
the diplomatic sky box,

Where top dignitaries
from the united planets
are watching,

Along with the crowd
and trillions at home.

- That's right, frank.

I hear their recent
peace talks with the khuns

Didn't go so well.

Let's hope they don't
start a w*r up there.

- We've got a lot
of first-class athletes
here this year.

But I'll tell you
who's got this dodecathlon
sewn up.

- Aha, hear that?

- He's from the planet
winath,

And he really impressed us
in the qualifiers.

- You know who they're
talking about.

- Mekt ranzz!

- Huh? Mekt?

- You didn't think
they were talking

About someone else,
did you, sparky?

See you at the finish line.

- You know that guy?

- Yeah. He's my brother.

- What are you doing here,
mekt?

- Is the big, famous hero

Scared of a little
competition?

- You know the dodecathlon
has always been my thing.

Why do you have to try
and upstage me all the time?

- Come on. All this talk

About you being
"the best in the galaxy".

We both know it isn't true.

I'm just here
to set the record straight.

- You are paste, mekt.

When this is over,
they'll have to wipe you up

With a dishcloth.

- Ha ha ha!

[Engine roars]

- Don't let him get to you.

You can win this.

- Yeah...yeah.

Announcer: contestants
report to the starting area.

- You'd better get
to your seats.

- Phantom girl,
you coming?

- Ucch! Fine.

I hope you realize
what I had to go through

To get us in this thing.

- That's what you keep
saying.

But we're here now.
Can't we at least
enjoy it?

- Easy for you to say.

We're sitting with my mom.

- We're sitting
with the president?

[Indistinct chatter]

- Mm. Hey, crab legs!

- Hey, monkey face!

- Don't worry. The senator
gets that all the time.

Heads up.

- No, no, no.

The climate
reconstruction bill.

The terraform act can't fund
a climate reclamation bill.

Is that clear enough?
Ta, your highness.

Now, tinya,

Who is this handsome
young man?

- Mother, this is superman.

- Hi, uh, mrs....
Uh, madam... Ma'am.

I, uh, never met
a president before.

- So this is the superman
I've heard so much about.

I need to mingle a bit,
but then I want to hear

All about you two!

- Aww, shucks, ma'am.

I ain't never met nobody.
Uh-huh, uh-huh.

- Alright, I guess
I deserved that.

But she did seem nice.

- Nice?
Whose side are you on?

Announcer: round one.
The filament jump.

- It's starting.

[Engines roaring]

- On your belts...

Get set...

[Bang]

- Heh. Looks like you could use
a little elbow room.

Crowd: lightning lad!
Lightning lad!

Lightning lad!

- Nice foul, mekt.

- Foul? What foul?

The judges
didn't see anything.

- And lightning lad
ekes out an early lead,

But mekt ranzz
isn't far behind.

We'll return to the 343rd
intergalactic...

- Audio off.

Well, what do you think?

- Sports sure have changed

Since the days
of the sh*t put and javelin.

- So. You two
make a cute couple.

- Somebody zap me.

- Oh, no. Uh, we're just
friends, your majesty...

I mean, madam. Ma'am.

- Right. Nice chatting, mom.

We're going out
to get some snacks.

- But the sky box
is catered.

- Yeah. We're going out
for snacks.

- Your mom means well,
you know.

- She doesn't have a clue.

- Don't be so sure.

My ma's pretty busy, too,

But she doesn't miss much.

- What is it?

- Something's not right.

There's something
under the sky box!

Unnh!

- It's a death b*mb.
Get it out of here, fast!

- Unh!

Aah!

Aahh!

Nngh!

Aaaahh... Ah!

- Uh!
- Unnh!

Okay, what was that thing?

- It creates one tiny
speck of dark matter

That can swallow
half a planet.

- Whoa.
- Superman...

I think someone's trying
to blow up my mom.

Keep your eyes peeled
for anything suspicious.

- There.
The pinwheel vendor.

[Whirring]

- Heh heh heh.

- Who is that?

- Um...lightning lad!

Lightning lad!
Lightning lad!

All: lightning lad!
Lightning lad!
Lightning lad!

- You can drop the disguise,
tharok.

I know it's you.

- Clever boy.

See through this!

- Uhh! Oh!

[Muffled] hey!

He got away.

Emerald empress
must be cloaking him.

- I don't like
what that means, superman.

- Me neither.

The fatal five are here.

- From the surface
of olympus 12,

Our coverage of the 343rd
intergalactic games
continues.

The grandstands
are in position

For a new event
of the dodecathlon.

- That's right, frank.
We're all set

For some flare surfing.

Now, the judges award points
for hang time,

Difficulty, and style,

So this may be the most
demanding event yet.

Superman: we've got to call
the science police
and alert security.

- Bad idea.
You know the moment

Those guys sound the alarm,
it's mass hysteria.

- We would never be able
to evacuate

All these people in time.

We'll stop them ourselves.

- You've trained all year
for this. You can't quit.

- He doesn't have to.

Lightning lad can keep
an eye on things
from the field.

I'll watch the skies.

Phantom girl,
stick close to your mom.

Just in case.

Mekt: conspiring against me
with your buddies?

Oh, and don't even think
about using one of those

Legion flight rings
to cheat.

- You wanna see my finger?

- You wanna see my fist?

- Sure. Sometime
when it won't get me
disqualified.

- You're smarter
than you look,
little brother.

- If I gotta play,
I'm going to win.

Good luck, you two.

Camden mismullion
is first up,

And...oh!



Quintuple somersault!

- Lightning lad
has his work
cut out for him.

There's 6...7!

The first septuple
somersault in...

- Aah..huah!

- Uh-oh.

[Whap]
- unh!

[Crash]

- And a heart-stopping
finish. Yikes.

That landing's gonna
cost him some points.

- A painter. On game day.
Right.

Mano!

Unh!

- Hey! Over here!

Uh...lightning lad!

Lightning lad!

Lightning la...
Never mind.

- Uh, hah. Kids.

- Ha!
- Ooh!

- Persuader!

Aaannh!

Unnh-aagh!

- Hunh!

Huah... Ahh!

Unh-aah!

Unh... Uhh!

- The twelfth and final
dodecathlon event.

A 500-meter dash
across the lava canyons.

Simple, except
for the obstacles,
of course.

It's lightning lad
in front.

- Oh! Here come
the obstacles!

Camden mismullion's...

Oh! Out of the running!

- Aaahhh!

Aah!

[Rumbling]

- Hyaah!

- Hunh! Huah!

- Oda buys the sand trap.

- Unh! Uhh!

- Mekt ranzz really
digging in,

Keeping pace
with lightning lad.

- Huh?

Both: aah! Unh!

- Unh!

[Beep]

- Aah-uh!
- Yaaah!

- Aah!

- Unh!

- Oh! Looks like
karl mcgrekk is in trouble.

- Unh!

Uhh-uh...

Aahhh!
- Unh!

- But would you look
at that?

There's a hero for you!

Way to go, lightning lad!

- And mekt crosses first!

[Buzzer]

- Mekt ranzz of winath
takes the gold!

Crowd: mekt! Mekt! Mekt!

- Nothin' wrong with silver,
little brother.

You should be used
to second place by now.

- Well, there's nothing
but winners here

At the intergalactic games
awards ceremony.

- That's right, frank.

I see zzok's here,

And jo nah of rimbor,

And mekt ranzz,

After the most exciting
dodecathlon

In a long time.

- As far as I'm concerned,
you won.

- Well, at least
the president's safe.

And with the force dome
they got on this place,

I doubt the fatal five
will be crashing the party.

- You know, lightning lad,

I'm really surprised
how well you're taking this.

- Obviously, you didn't see
what he did to the locker room.

- Just take your medal
and smile.

- Garth.
- Mekt.

What's that?

- No idea. I'm just
repaying a little favor.

Oh. That's not good.

- Who are these people?

- We know exactly
who they are.

The fatal five!

- I knew that judge
had it in for me.

- We've got a supervillain
brawl a-brewin' here, folks,

And it looks like
it's gonna be a doozy.

Uh, we'll be right back

After a word
from our sponsors.

- This is as far as you go,
empress.

- Hm. Superman.
So confident.

We've been having
a little contest
of our own, you know.

You remember the rules.

First one
to grab the president wins!

[Roaring]

- Aah!

- Looks like I won, boys.

Of course, it's always good
to have someone on the inside.

Right, mekt?

- Unh!
- Stay away from my mom!

- Tinya! Be...

Careful.

- Aah!

- Disintegrate him, mano.

Slowly.

- You let these guys in!

- My bad, little bro.

- Is that all you've got
to say?

- Uh, good luck?

Tharok: incidentally,
you've been charging
my system!

Yaahh!

- Unh... Ahh!

- Superman...

It's time we saw
eye to eye.

Ha ha! You don't think
I'd let you

Get away with that
twice, do you?

- Super strength!

Hunh!

Ice breath!

- Yyahh!
- No!

- You're good.

- Thanks. Invulnerable!

- Ooh, and cute.

- Looks like we're going
into overtime!

Let's win this!

- A rallying cry
from the boy in blue.

- And lightning lad's down!
-Unh!

- That's another notch
on the persuader's axe.

Waiting for lightning lad
to get up.

Our coverage of this att*ck

Is brought to you by
little deepzorg snack cakes.

Little deepzorg.
The snack that made deepzorg
famous.

- Rrah!

- Oh, and it's
camden mismullion

Back for seconds!

Ooh! And there goes
lightning lad

To finish the job!

- This fella in blue

Has got his work
cut out for him!

- Validus is one
heavy hitter. Ooh!

But here comes jo nah
of rimbor!

- Super speed!

- Unh!
- There's zzok!

And that's all for validus!

Down for the count!

- Unh!

Emerald empress:
validus, get up!

Get off me!

- And there goes
the queen of mean!

Looks like this fight
is over!

- Mekt!

- Garth, come on.
I had no idea who they were.

All I did was make a deal
with a judge

So I'd come in first...

For a change.

- Well, you did.
How's it feel?

- Eh. Here, take it.

If the judges weren't
crooks,

You might even have won.

- Keep your stolen medal.

And I hope
it always reminds you

What a jerk you are.

- Heh heh. See you around,
little bro.

- Today you've proven to us

How valuable
the legion of superheroes is

To the safety and well-being
of the united planets.

And for this, we thank you.

I'd like to honor
one legionnaire
in particular.

Not just for keeping
the galaxy safe.

I owe my life to this hero.

Thank you, superman.

- Huh?

[Applause]

- But...

- And as for you,
young lady...

I can't hang a medal
on my own daughter, dear.

It's bad politics.

You'll have to make do
with my blessing...

And my thanks.

Your friend looks good
in gold. Is he single?

- Mother, please!

- Well, now that you've
broken up with superman...

- Mom!

- Don't you worry, dear.

There are plenty
of nice boys out there.

Maybe if you changed
that costume of yours.

Something more colorful?

- Ohh...