01x22 - Amazamoose and Squirrel Wonder

[bunniefuu]

[ROARING]

[BURPS]

[ROARS]

Oh, no! Skyscraper City is under att*ck. Can anybody save us?

♪ Captain Great Guy!

♪ Captain Great Guy! By day he's a mild-mannered dermatologist

Whoa, now that is a nasty rash.

[WHINING]

♪ Captain Great Guy! At night he does hero stuff with his super fists

Here's your dog.

♪ Captain! Great Guy! ♪

ROCKY: And his two new super awesome hero sidekicks:

Amazamoose and Squirrel Wonder!

Hey, wait a second.

We've watched Captain Great Guy a million times

and I don't remember us being in it.

That's because I put us in it.

With the power of crayons, glue

and a professional Hollywood-grade movie editing suite.

And now we get to be heroes!

[ROARING]

ROCKY: Taste on this, ya mean squid.

Hey, Rocky. We're totally super-powered heroes now.

Fulfilling your lifelong dream you've failed to mention until this point.

Rocky?

Do you have a lifelong dream you've failed to mention until this point?

I'll answer that question over by the wistful window.

Ever since I was a little squirrel, it's been my lifelong dream

to be an awesome hero like Captain Great Guy.

But alas, this poorly edited fake adventure

is the closest I'll ever get to living that dream.

Hooray! Captain Great Guy!

And Amazamoose and Squirrel Wonder

did it!

But, Rock, you're totally super. You can fly.

And in previous episodes, you've had eye lasers, mouth fire

and the ability to make everyone on the planet "Jump Like a Frog Does."

Yeah, but in this episode, I'm just a plain 'ol boring flying squirrel.

Nothing "super" or "hero" about me.

Oh, there will be.

'Cause I got twenty-two minutes to make your little squirrel dream come true.

Now, don't move and cue our new show opening super song!

♪ Here they come to save the world

♪ One's a moose and one's a squirrel

♪ Louder than lightning

♪ And brighter than thunder It's Amazamoose and Squirrel Wonder

♪ They save the day and save the night

♪ Save the mid-morning and even twilight

♪ Evil villains better watch your back

♪ These super good guys are on the att*ck

♪ They pow! Zap! Bang! And drink their juice

♪ It's Squirrel Wonder and Amazamoose ♪

NARRATOR: And so, we return to our heroes' house

where our heroes were looking for a way to become more heroic.

Now, as we all know, there are three ways to become a super-powered hero.

One: Be a billionaire and buy high-tech powers.

Two: Be born on a buff alien planet, and come to earth to show off your buff powers

like Captain Great Guy.

Or three: Fall into radioactive goop and get radioactive powers.

Well, we're not from an alien planet, as far as I know,

and we don't have any goop. So...

I guess we're going super billionaire hero. How much money do we got?

Well, after blowing our entire life savings on that sweet Hollywood editing system,

uh... seventeen bucks.

That's not enough.

Dream over, man!

No, 'cause we'll just use free stuff from around the house.

Hello, super cape.

It's passable.

Quick, Squirrel Wonder. Let's find other free and passable hero stuff.

NARRATOR: So as Rocky and Bullwinkle

searched for hero stuff to fight for good everywhere,

back in Pottsylvania, evil was everywhere.

In its evil fog. Around its evil panthers and in its evil lair.

Where Fearless Leader was also trying to get super, but not for good.

For evil!

Evil Chicken! For months, my evil scientists have worked on my evil plan

to give me ultimate laser-blaster powers.

Just look at all the cool stuff I'll be able to do as Fearless Laser.

I'll laser open bank vaults. I'll laser buildings in half.

And I'll laser the crust off my PB and J.

[LAUGHING MANIACALLY]

Why are you dressed like that?

Getting ready for vacation, Fearless Leader.

I'm going to Kokomo, baby!

Just me and my best pals, flip and flop.

I am also going to Kokomo, but staying on other side of island.

So, I don't have to see his gross feet friends.

Vacation?

Why would you want to leave

all of this?

[WHALE MOANING]

Ooh! Is it beached whale season already?

And besides, you'll miss the test of my ultimate laser powers!

Get ready, world, for Fearless Laser!

Fearless Laser! Fearless...

What's with the lasers? Why aren't they blasting things in half?

They're laser pointers, sir. We couldn't afford real lasers.

We're not billionaires.

So, I have no super powers?

[LOUD MEWING]

Well, you're good at attracting cats.

Yeah. You can be Laser... Cat Guy.

I don't want to be Laser Cat Guy! You're not going anywhere

until Fearless Laser rules the world!

No Kokomo.

No vacation-o!

NARRATOR: As Fearless Laser totally ruined Boris and Natasha's day,

high above Frostbite Falls, two heroes were ready to save the day.

Amazamoose and Squirrel Wonder!

We look so ripping boss right now.

Now we just need to find some hero-ing to do.

Which should happen any second now...

[WIND HOWLING]

ROCKY: Any second now in this sleepy, calm,

not-much-crime-happens-here kind of town.

Any second.

ROCKY: Crime. Dangerous crime.

There's no crime. Dream over, man!

Not to worry, my brave buck-toothed buddy.

Heroes don't just stop the bad guys. They help citizens in need.

Like the good citizens of Frostbite Falls.

Right you are! Now, let's take to the skies!

You can't fly.

Right you are again.

[BULLWINKLE SCREAMS]

Look, Squirrel Wonder! A citizen in need of heroic hero-ing.

Phew, these groceries are heavy.

Amazamoose and Squirrel Wonder to the rescue!

You could have thrown your back out carrying these.

Luckily, we were here to save you.

BOTH: Heroes!

Hey! That wasn't my car! Ow! My back!

♪ Troo loo loo!

♪ Just me and my balloons! And their strings that never break! ♪

[SCREAMS]

Amazamoose!

And Squirrel Wonder to the rescue!

Now, to make sure these girl-escaping balloons

can't float away again.

BOTH: Heroes!

Look alive, Squirrel Wonder.

You never know when trouble's gonna drop in.

Hey! That tree's littering.

Yo, trees, cut it out!

Squirrel Wonder. We're surrounded by litter trees.

Then there's only one thing to do.

BOTH: Heroes!

Boys!

So you didn't want us to cut down all the litter trees in town?

No! Don't you know?

But, super power hero-ing is what we do.

It's my dream. And look at these boss costumes.

No one can deny the boss-ness of those costumes.

Which is why I have a super secret assignment

that only Amazamoose and Squirrel Wonder can handle.

And, it won't cause a mess.

BOTH: New. Hero. Mission.

You're gonna watch and protect the most important thing in Frostbite Falls...

Frostbite Frannie!

[MEOWS LOUDLY]

BOTH: Awesome!

NARRATOR: But who is Frostbite Frannie? Well, glad I asked.

Frostbite Frannie is Frostbite Falls' most famous cat.

In fact, she may be the most famous cat on the planet.

Because Frannie decides when everybody starts summer vacation.

Yep. If Frannie sees her tail on Frostbite Frannie Day

and she always does.

It's vacation time, baby! [ALL CHEER]

For kids in school.

Workers in offices. Doctors in surgery.

Even spy villains in evil lairs.

BOTH: Come on... come on...

Boris! Natasha! Why are you still packed?

BORIS: Because it's Frostbite Fat Cat Day.

If fat cat sees fat tail, you have to let us go on vacation.

Is, like, vacation law.

Are you telling me some lazy Midwestern cat has the power to control

when people take restful and relaxing vacations?

Is fun tradition we all just learned about from Narrator montage.

A fat cat with enormous power?

And all I have is the power to control cats.

Wait a minute.

I'm getting an idea.

You two are going to use my cat-attracting laser gloves to steal that fat cat.

Then, I'll stop everyone from ever going on vacation.

And everyone will be so exhausted from not going on vacation.

They'll surrender the world to me!

And if we have fat cat, we can make it see its tail just for us.

And then it's Kokomo time anytime we want, baby.

NARRATOR: As Boris and Natasha raced off to capture Frostbite Frannie,

the whole town and news teams were gathered around the stage for the big cat event!

Luckily Amazamoose and Squirrel Wonder were there to protect her.

Frostbite Frannie is still safe and secure, Mayor Grundstrom.

In fact, she hasn't moved in four hours.

That's 'cause you're protectity-protecting her so well.

Now make sure she stays there until I open the curtain.

Our first official hero mission, Amazamoose.

This must be how Captain Great Guy feels when he's saving the world.

BOTH: Heroes!

NARRATOR: But, as our heroes posed, little did they know, our villains were posing

a thr*at!

Let's get this fat cat so we can go on sweet vacations.

Here, kitty, kitty, kitty!

You know, they say poses are the most important part of hero-ing.

You mean like this pose?

Ooh, strong.

Or this pose?

That's the stuff!

Or this pose.

Badoosh! That's my mind blowing.

Okay, Frostbite Falls!

And the rest of the planet.

I give you...

Frostbite Frannie!

[ALL GASP]

They're loving our posing, Rock.

You had one job! And you bip-di-blew it!

Frostbite Frannie is gone!

BORIS: Thanks for the kitty, super losers.

Cat you later!

Don't just stand there cool-posing! Stop the bad guys!

Amazamoose and Squirrel Wonder to the rescue!

We're going to get away.

Next stop, Kokomo.

Oh, no, you don't-a-mo.

Your purr-fect crime's been foiled. Now hand over the cat.

Oh, you want cats, dah-link?

How about all the cats in Frostbite Falls.

[EXCLAIMS] That's not what we meant!

NARRATOR: Oh, no! Is this the end of Amazamoose and Squirrel Wonder?

Will Frostbite Frannie ever see her tail?

And what's gonna happen when kids find out they're not getting summer vacation?

[ALL SCREAM]

Find out after this short break!

And now, put your paws together for the phenom of felines, Mr. Know-It-All!

Cats. What are they thinking? Well, I can tell you.

Take this little guy, for instance. He's thinking,

"Boy do I hate the mail man. And I love bones."

That sounds like something a dog would think.

I'm the Know-it-All here. Now this cat is thinking,

"I sure am hungry and would like to eat a dog biscuit."

I'm pretty sure that's also something a dog would...

And this little fuzzy buddy is thinking,

"A-Bow-wow. A-Woof-woof. I have lasers for eyes."

Lasers? Bullwinkle, what are you talking about?

Rocky, get down! I'm so confused!

NARRATOR: We return to find Frostbite Falls, and the entire world

trapped in a state of perpetual non-vacation.

Office workers had to stay at the office. Surgeons had to stay in the surgeon place.

And kids had to stay in school. Causing a worldwide panic.

Which means, it's time for the world leaders.

ALL: I will not stand for this.

Silence! If the world ever wants to go on vacation again.

Just hand the world over to me!

This is preposterous.

Yeah. We'll discuss it when we get back from vacation.

ALL: What? We can't go on vacation either?

You monster. You'll never get away with this!

Oh, yeah? Well, who's going to stop me?

[STRAINING]

She's heavy. Stop me!

Amazamoose! And...

That is terrible.

Bullwinkle, Frostbite Frannie was cat-napped on our watch.

What if we don't have what it takes to be super cool heroes?

Don't have what it takes?

Rocky, do you remember when Captain Great Guy lost the big battle against Evil-torious,

the Chancellor of Chaos?

You mean at the end of Captain Great Guy Four: The Quest for Taquitos?

Yeah! Did he just sit around feeling sorry for himself?

Yes. In Captain Great Guy Five: Sitting Around Feeling Sorry For Himself.

Oh, yeah? But what did Captain Great Guy do in Captain Great Guy Six,

Puttin' Yourself Back Out There?

He picked himself up

and had a super suit upgrade montage to come back and save the day!

That's the spirit!

Amazamoose? I think it's time for us to have a little upgrade montage of our own.

ROCKY: Turbo utility belt!

Amaza-disks! Wonder-cuffs!

Battle blaster bouncy balls! Titanium alloy protecto-armor!

And a whole lotta super vehicles!

There! I give you the new and improved Amazamoose and Squirrel Wonder!

All right! How much is all this stuff gonna cost to make?

Seventeen billion dollars.

Great! And we have?

Still seventeen dollars.

Okay. We'll just be super-powered heroes on a super tight budget.

NARRATOR: And so, the heroic and frugal Amazamoose

and Squirrel Wonder hit the dollar store

where tool belts became crime-fighting utility belts.

Frozen waffles became Amaza-disks.

Blueberry amaza-disks.

Novelty finger traps became Wonder-cuffs.

Bouncy balls became battle blaster bouncy balls.

And inexpensive non-stick cookware became protecto-armor.

How much do we have left?

One dollar. Enough to buy these two-pack of compact mirrors to see how boss we look.

So boss.

Okay, my little squirrel of a sidekick, let's go save that cat.

But how are we gonna get to Pottsylvania to fight the bad guys?

Hmm. It's too bad this dollar store doesn't sell cool moose and squirrel jets

like the one you designed on that computer.

Wait, Amazamoose! What about that harrier jet from our weird monster island adventure?

You mean...

The Amazo-jet?

Doesn't look that amazing.

Well, I'll paint the jet if you write a theme song.

♪ Who saves the world and beats bad guy jerks the Amaz-o-jet could still use some work

♪They're flying in just to save the day who needed that sunshine anyway!

♪ Look out, villains, they're on the loose!

♪ It's Squirrel Wonder and Amazamoose! ♪

NATASHA: Listen up, fat cat.

As soon as world leaders give up control to Fearless Laser

you're going to use fat tail to finally send me on vacation.

This is the life. Completely alone.

Hey! It's Kokomo time, baby!

Hey! Get out of my postcard fantasy, idiot!

You can't tell Boris, and flip and flop what to do.

That was so not cool.

But you know what is cool? Calling the World Leaders!

Over-worked and vacation-deprived Leaders of the World.

Are you ready to meet my demands?

The world is exhausted.

You've given us no choice.

Say it in unison! I want to hear you all together.

ALL: We give up control of the world to...

Evildoers!

Hand over that cat!

Moose and Squirrel. You're super power action heroes now?

Does this answer your question?

I guess so?

There's no way you're taking our vacation cat away.

Because we're super action villains! Prepare to face

Vacation Dude!

And Lady Laid-back!

Oh, yeah? Do you have a theme song?

Yeah...

♪ Lady Laid-back! Vacation Dude!

♪ She's got the hat and he's got the 'tude...♪

Non-stick Dollar Store frying pan?

My hat goes off to you, Moose and Squirrel.

Whoa, what was in that hat?

You think you can stop Fearless Laser? Well, face the power of my laser fingers!

Yeah, can we please send some guys to fight Moose and Squirrel?

MAN: How many you want?

Oh, let me think, uh, one... two... all of them!

BOTH: Battle blaster bouncy balls, go!

[YAWNS]

[STARTLED MEW]

Give up, Moose and Squirrel.

Your bargain store hero days are over.

Didn't anyone ever tell you it's rude to point fingers?

Wonder cuffs, now!

You think one measly trap can stop us?

I am stuck! I'm stuck! You stop pulling.

You haven't won yet, Moose and Squirrel!

[w*r CRY]

Aw, crud, is that blueberry? She loves blueberry.

It's over, Fearless Laser.

And now we'll be taking back Frostbite Frannie

and sending everyone in the world on vacation and...

Where'd the cat go?

She wandered into the Pottsylvanian woods.

She could get lost in the ominous fog.

Or att*cked by panthers. Or fall into whatever that glowing green stuff is.

Quick, Squirrel Wonder! There's no time to lose.

NARRATOR: Oh, no! If Frostbite Frannie wanders into that fog, they'll never find her!

ROCKY: Oh, no! We're too late!

BOTH: Heroes!

FEARLESS LEADER: More like zeros!

Because you cannot defeat the awesome power of Fearless Laser!

Here, kitty, kitty, panther!

[PANTHER GROWLING]

I guess this is it, Bullwinkle. Thanks for making my hero dream come true.

[EVIL LAUGHTER]

Sorry it had to end with us holding a fat cat...

and being ripped apart by snarling panthers.

But, my dream came true. We're super boss super action heroes.

[EVIL LAUGHTER]

Wait, Amazamoose! The two-for-one mirrors!

You mean the laser-repelling wonder shields!

NARRATOR: And with the power of two-for-one reflection,

Amazamoose and Squirrel Wonder bounced the lasers back at Fearless Laser!

[SNARLING]

Oh, no.

[SCREAMING]

Help! I'm stuck in whatever this goopy goop stuff is!

It's like being in a goopy jail and my story line is over.

FEARLESS LEADER: [DISTANT VOICE] I'll get you, Moose and Squirrel!

NARRATOR: And so, thanks to the heroics of Amazamoose and Squirrel Wonder,

Frostbite Frannie was saved!

Just see your tail, ya lazy cat!

NARRATOR: And with that one lazy glance,

summer vacations all over the globe were restored.

Kids got out of school.

ALL: Yay!

NARRATOR: Workers got out of work.

Doctors got out of doctoring.

And world leaders went fishing.

ALL: Yay!

NARRATOR: And Amazamoose and Squirrel Wonder hung up their capes

knowing that the world was safe and this story is over. Or was it?

BOTH: Wait, what?

NARRATOR: Because deep in the Pottsylvanian woods, a new evil was rising.

Whoa, what's up with Fearless Leader?

The name's Fearless Laser!

[EVIL LAUGHTER]

NARRATOR: Oh, my! What was in that mysterious goop?

What do these new powers mean for Rocky and Bullwinkle?

And will Boris and Natasha ever make it down to Kokomo?

BORIS, NATASHA: Yeah, that's probably not happening now.

NARRATOR: Find out in our next exciting super-powered episode,

See You Laser, Alligaser! Or, Goop, There It Is!

[THEME MUSIC PLAYING]