02x08 - Cruisin'

[bunniefuu]

[Flies buzzing]

[Quirky music]

♪

- ♪Rocko's modern life♪

- ♪Rocko's modern life♪

♪

- ♪Rocko's modern life♪

- ♪Rocko's modern life♪

♪

- ♪Rocko's modern life♪

- ♪Rocko's modern life♪

♪

- That was a hoot!

[Ship horn blares]

[Upbeat jazzy piano music]

♪

- You're the worst driver I ever seen.

Can't this tub go any faster?

- Thanks for driving grandpa to his cruise ship, rock.

Sorry he's a little cranky.

- Cranky, eh?

Why, you fat little cow boy.

"Senior citizen singles cruise."

What fun.

Old folks in a boat.

[Tires screeching]

Hey, let go of me.

I ain't no sack of spuds, you lousy kids.

Guh!

- Okay, grandpa, let's get you to your room.

- I ain't your grandpa.

- It should be right up here.

- Hold it right here, boy.

I got to go.

- But, grandpa, we don't have time.

I've got to get off the boat.

- Yeah?

Well, this is more important.

- Hey, rocko, where's grandpa?

Hey, that's a good idea.

I kind of got to go too.

- [Groans]

[Ship horn blares]

[Yells]

- Cast off!

- No cast off!

No cast off!

[Grunting]

[Yells]

- Hey, what are all these old coots doing here?

Don't leave me alone with them, boys.

Stay close to me.

- What a lovely mess.

We're not even supposed to be on this cruise.

No money, no tickets, and we're stuck here

Taking care of grandpa.

Now what are we gonna do, heff?

- Just what we're doing now.

Act natural and blend in with the crowd.

Who's gonna know?

- [Farts]

[Door slams]

- "Just blend in with the crowd, rocko.

"Act naturally, rocko.

Who's gonna know?"

Who's gonna-- who's gonna know?

[Grunts]

Why did I ever--[grunts]

[Door squeals]

[Foreboding brass music]

♪

[Loud stomping]

- Well, my little stowaways,

It appears you're in luck.

Two lowlife deckhands were just tossed overboard

By a mob of angry geriatrics,

And you will take their places.

Ding!

- Aye, aye, captain.

[Dubious brass music]

- You missed a spot.

Give it a spit shine, beaver.

[Spits]

[Squeaky tones]

- [Chuckles]

Whoo, what a shine.

- How are we supposed to get these chores done

And babysit methuselah ii?

- Easy.

I'll take care of the jobs--

- Not so fast, pal.

We'll flip for it.

- Okay, deal.

- Loser gets grandpa.

- Um...

- Heads! - Tails, tails, tails.

[Coin clattering]

Whoo, hoo-hoo, hoo, hoo!

Tails! - [Groans]

- Well, looks like I've got some chores to do.

[Whistling]

♪

Oh.

Hi.

[Deflated brass music]

♪

[Upbeat keyboard music]

[Teeth chattering]

- Let's get some sun, eh, grandpa?

It's a beautiful day.

- Oh, this is nice. Yee-haw.

I feel so good, I think I'll howl at the sun.

Put me back in the shade, you twerp.

[Whimpering]

- Grandpa wolfe!

[Wheels squeaking]

[Ship creaking]

- [Snores]

- Beaver? Beaver!

Beaver!

- [Snores]

- [Farts]

[Wheels squeaking]

[Ship creaking]

[Horn honking]

- [Snores]

- [Farts]

- [Yells]

- [Snores]

Crash!

- Having fun, boy?

[Squeaking tones]

- [Whistles]

- [Singing operatically]

[Screams]

Hey.

- I realize being old is no picnic, grandpa.

But there's no reason

Our generations can't get along, is there?

- You don't have a clue, do you, you little runt?

I thought this was a singles cruise.

Where are all the babes?

Hey, there's some.

Yoo-hoo, ladies!

Oh, girls!

Come to papa.

Here they come.

- [Yells]

[Whimpering]

- [Sighs] beaver got the babes.

Oh, youth is wasted on the young.

[Upbeat rock music]

♪

- Wah!

♪

[Descending xylophone tones]

[Clamoring and clattering]

[All gasp]

- Hey, punk, you scratched my walker.

[People shouting]

- [Yelling]

[Upbeat jazzy music]

♪

[People wheezing]

- [Groans]

Blimey, this music's boring.

- I could really cut a rug in my younger days.

- Ah, you couldn't dance if someone was sh**ting at you.

- I won grand prize

At the hotfoot club new year's dance of '.

- You won diddly.

I was there, andiwas king bop.

- Yeah? You're both senile.

It was me that tripped the light fantastic.

[Feet stomping]

- Who wants to dance?

[Deflating tones]

[All speaking simultaneously in high-pitched voices]

- Rocko!

[People shouting]

- [Gasps]

Well, bless my aching bones.

- What is it, grandpa?

- I'd swear that gal out there was--

[Gasps] it is.

It's winnifred wolfe.

- Who's winifred wolfe?

- What, are you ignorant, boy?

[Sighs]

She was the most popular she-wolf at ozark tech.

Oh, she was crazy about me.

♪

Smack!

[Cymbals crash]

[Throbbing]

Ah, she's probably forgotten about that by now.

I--i--where'd she go?

[Indistinct chatter]

- This is your captain speaking.

Dinner is now being served in the flamingo room.

♪

- Today's entrees include prime rib,

Pheasant au gratin, and trout le pufe under glass.

Bon appetit.

[Liquid squelching]

[Loud squelching]

- Bon appetit.

[Loud munching]

- [Chuckles]

- Food fight.

[Laughter]

- For dessert, we--

[Dishes shattering, people laughing]

- Hey, toots.

How's tricks?

You remember me, don't you, doll?

- Hiram?

Hiram willy wolfe, is that you?

- Yup, that's me.

The one and only. Your dream wolf, babe.

[Howls]

- Yes, I remember you.

You haven't really changed much

These past years, have you?

- No way, fay.

I'm still the hottest thing since sunburn, baby.

[Hisses] ha!

Let's go stepping, huh, kid?

- I don't think so, hiram.

Perhaps if you had changed a little,

But you still resemble the wolf I knew so long ago.

Good-bye, hiram.

- So, grandpa, how'd it go with your old girlfriend?

- Shut up, beaver.

Smack!

- Mean old bugger.

Hope I never get old and crotchety.

- You got a lot to learn there, young fella.

- Yeah, like what?

How to be rude and nasty without even trying?

- Well, you are gonna be old one day, junior,

If you're lucky.

And then you too are gonna feel

The heartbreak of a prune diet or lost memories

Or the pain and loneliness of losing a loved one.

Maybe then you'll understand why

Old-timers aren't always the bright ray of sunshine

You find yourself to be, huh, boy?

- [Crying]

[Ducks quacking]

[Ship horn blares]

Hey, ducks, go away!

Big ship! Ducks!

Hey, ducks!

Oh, blazes! Captain, captain!

Captain, you've got to turn the boat.

We're gonna ram some ducks.

- Exactly.

- Turn the wheel! - I like ramming ducks.

- No!

- But it's mine.

[Loud screeching]

- [Guffawing]

The bermuda triangle!

[Frantic whistling tones]

[Ducks quacking]

- [Sniffling]

[Ducks quacking]

Hey, ducks, go away!

Big ship! Ducks!

Hey, ducks!

Oh, blazes!

Captain, captain! Turn the wheel!

We're gonna ram some ducks.

[Lasers whooshing]

[Upbeat brass music]

[Eerie whistling music]

♪

[Thunder crashes]

- [Roars]

- [Screams]

[Thunder crashes]

- Cheap special effects.

Big deal.

I want my money back.

[Thunder crashes]

- Mmm.

[Spacecraft whirring]

Cool.

Chicken.

[Gear rattling]

[Screams]

[Both scream]

[All screaming]

- They were hideous!

Hideous creatures.

[Spacecraft whirring]

Whew. - Ooh.

Uh-oh.

[Clock ticking]

[Clock hands whirring]

- Hey, rocko, you're all wrinkly.

- Look who's talking, raisin boy.

- What is this?

What are you supposed to be, huh?

Why, I could--hey.

Hey, i--

I'm feeling frisky.

[Clock clattering]

[Bell rings]

[Knees clattering]

- Yow!

- Come on, bones.

Baby needs a new pair of shoes.

And I could use a new caddy.

[Bell rings]

- Get away from me.

I don't want to be young again.

No!

Okay, but I was crazy as a kid.

[Screams]

[Loud crunching]

Ah!

- I must find a way to get out of this bermuda triangle.

And then I will barbecue

That little kangaroo boy and his ducks.

- [Growls]

- [Suckling]

- Tag, you're it!

[Tires squealing]

[Laughter]

[Kids shouting]

- [Screams]

- Lookit, heff, we're , years old

And surrounded by wild kids.

- Eh?

- I never realized what older folks have to go through.

I think I got arthritis in all my parts.

- Well, here you go, brother.

I know them aches and pains well enough.

I'm years old.

Leastways, I was.

Weird all us old-timers turning young again, huh?

Must be the water around here

And maybe all them dang clocks flying around.

Anyway, my bones feel better than they have in years,

So I don't need these here pills no more.

You take them, son.

Let me know if there's anything else y'all need.

Any little thing at all, you just name it, huh?

- Shut up, will you?

- You got to excuse my friend here.

He's never been old before.

- No problem, compadre.

Being old can be a hoot.

You just don't want it to hit you all at once.

Better ease on into it. [Chuckles]

- You okay now, rocko?

- Yeah.

I don't know why I'm so grumpy.

I guess I'm just tired.

I need to sit down.

Whoa!

[Screaming]

- [Wailing]

- Shame, shame, shame.

How dare you?

You should behave yourself.

Don't you know what happens to little boys who don't behave?

- Winnifred, now that I am young again,

Come to the casbah with me, hmm?

- Young or old, mr. Wolfe, you think only of yourself.

- Now what?

[Wind gusting]

- [Screaming]

[Screaming continues]

Help!

Help!

Help!

- I'll save you, old buddy.

- Help!

- Yup.

Here we go.

- Help!

Help!

- Here, grab this rope.

- Help!

[Gurgling]

- Beaver?

[Gasps] beaver!

- Back off. He's ours.

- [Gasps]

- Oh, the horror.

I just can't watch.

- [Growls]

[Bell dings]

- [Crying]

My grandpa's gone,

Taken by the angry sea.

He's howling with the angels now.

He's--he's my ex-grandpa.

- Heffer.

- [Wails]

He's--he's--

- He's over there.

- Hey, rocko. You okay, boy?

- Yeah, I'm fine, grandpa.

How about you?

Are you feeling okay?

- Never better, son.

Never better.

- Smile!

[Thunder crashes, camera shutter clicks]

[Raucous rock music]

♪

[High-pitched whirring]

- Aw, spit. I'm bald again.

- [Wailing]

[Horse whinnies]

[Tires squealing]

[Screaming]

- Best dang cruise I ever took.

- Man, it was cool being old.

Without my teeth, I could swallow food whole.

- Thanks again for saving me life, grandpa.

From now on, you and I will be best of friends.

- Me and a beaver, friends?

- Stranger things have happened.

- [Blowing raspberry]