01x05 - Hypno-A-Go-Go/Fowl Play

[bunniefuu]

I'm just heading to the fields, duke.

I'll be back.

[Animal noises]

Clear!

[♪...]

All right.

"Rat-abunga!"

Man: ♪ from the haystacks up to the hilltops ♪

♪ We go on dancing...

[Animals cheering]

♪ ...through the night

Ow, ow, ok, ow.

Ow!

Whoo!

Man: ♪ do-si-do your partner, now ♪

♪ Gonna party now till the morning light ♪

♪ Do-si-do and don't you know ♪

♪ It's just the way we animals roll. ♪

[Tires squeal]

[Engine revs]

Ha-ha.

[♪...]

"Vine-hilda", queen of the jungle

st*lks her wiley prey.

Suddenly she pounces.

[Tarzan yell]

Man: whoa.

[Mrs. Beady screams]

[Animals laughing]

Ah, this is great.

Dude, that new hypnosis kit is hilarious [chuckles].

Where'd you get it?

It was free with the dvd player I bought off the gophers.

I just wave the hypno watch in front of people's faces

And they're like putty in my hands.

No, put me down, help...

Tonight, we do the monkey dance!

Not the monkey dance.

But I gotta be careful.

The power to impose my will on others

Is not to be taken lightly.

Pip: whatever.

Wanna go back and mess with people's heads?

Thought you'd never ask.

Mmm, ooh, this burrito should hold me until snack time.

Otis: you don't want to eat that burrito, pig.

Oh.

You want to dance the lead role

In the famous ballet "pig lake."

[Crash... Cat screeches]

[Laughing]

Otis, where do you come off hypnotizing people?

I'll mesmerize you.

Whatever you say, perky high school cheerleader.

We're number one.

Can't be number two.

We're gonna b*at the whoopee out of you.

She said, "whoopee". [Laughing]

Wow, man, a cow could really get used to this.

[Horn honks] look, otis, the farmer.

Make him think he's a danish supermodel.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

I could never do that.

The farmer is my dear, dear friend.

Whoo, I guess that means I'm safe.

Why, of course you are pip... Sleep!

[Squeaks]

[Chuckles]

I'll feel guilty about this tomorrow.

But that's hours away.

Avast, ye swabbies.

I'll take y'all on 'fore I give up the jolly cud muncher.

Right, faithful parrot?

[Squawks] polly wants an anchovy pizza.

[Squawking]

Move it to the left, move it to the right.

Come on, badgers, fight, fight, fight.

Plieé, plie and arabesque.

Whee.

I'm one of the finest [squawk]

Microwave ovens on the market.

"Ping."

[Slurps]

Let me tell you something, you need another seconds.

[Screams]

[Pan "gongs"]

You have dishonored my temple for the last time, white rooster.

It is you who brings much shame, whiskered one.

[Both screaming]

[Screaming]

Otis: listen up, everybody.

When I clap my hooves

You will be henceforth be unhypnotized.

[Chuckles]

Aw, I hate that that's so much fun.

Why am I wearin' an eye patch?

Why am I sittin' on a chicken?

[Clucks]

Well, I hate to give up my best friend but

Otis got a hypnosis kit from the gophers

And has been using it to mess with our minds.

That watch swinging moron.

Let's give him a taste of his own stupidity.

All: yeah.

Ah, time to relax with my brand-new compact dvd.

Well, let's see, nerd movie...

Vampire movie, nerd/vampire movie.

Here we go.

"'Fighty hands', the gritty boxing tale of heavyweight champ jefferson ali farmer."

Whoo-hoo.

[Crowd roars]

Man: and a roundhouse, and an upper cut.

Destroy him.

Ok, I see the watch.

I'm going in.

I don't think so.

Um, we weren't trying to steal your watch

So we could hypnotize you to get revenge, if that's what you're thinking.

No, no, we just wanted to know what time it was.

Hey, pip, what time is it there?

Oh, it's a quarter past...

Let's get out of here!

[Chuckling]

Oh, watch, it's just you and me.

And I'm not letting you out of my sight.

Why would i?

I mean, you're so round and pretty and shiny and...

Wavy... Ahh...

Man: now listen, up kid.

You gotta do exactly what I say.

Do exactly what you say.

You got farmer on the ropes, he's ready to fall.

When you hear the bell, destroy farmer.

When I hear the bell

Destroy farmer.

Destroy farmer.

[Snoring]

[Whistling]

Hey, pippo, I had the weirdest dream last night.

Otis, farmer's coming.

Chickens... Come and get it.

[Triangle chimes]

[Trancelike]: when I hear the bell

Destroy farmer.

Uh, otis?

Destroy farmer.

[Gasps]

Oh, bad cow, bad cow.

Whoa, dude.

What was that about?

[Muttering] huh?

Uh, oh, hey, pip.

Otis, you almost smashed the farmer.

What are you talking about?

You have got quite an imagination there, missy.

Hey, anyone seen the takeout menu?

Pip, you don't suppose...

No way.

But what if?

We lost the takeout menu?

I suppose we could order from memory.

Pig probably remembers most of the...

No, what if he hypnotized himself?

Oh, that "what if"?

Hey, everybody...

It's time to answer some of today's viewer mail.

Here's one from rico, age .

"Dear pig, today's show is about hypnosis.

Is hypnosis real?

What does it smell like?

Am I hypnotized right now?"

Well, rico, the answer is yes.

Here's how hypnosis works.

A watch is swung in front of your eyeballs

Causing them to become swirly.

The swirliness then travels up the pancreas and into the brain

Where it's stored in a cooler till it's cold.

Soon tiny hypnosis monkeys are released into the ganglia

And bingo.

You, my friend, are hypnotized.

I will now eat my pointer.

Man in movie: now listen up, kid.

You gotta do exactly what I say.

When you hear the bell destroy farmer.

Oh, no.

Any time otis hears a bell, he's gonna att*ck the farmer.

We gotta do something.

You're right...

As soon as the movie's over.

How much you figure those big screens cost anyway?

Abby: hey.

Darn electric fence.

On the blink again.

Duke: I dismantled the doorbell.

I turned off the cell phones.

I took down the wind chimes.

[All gasp]

[Sounds of fighting]

[Pan "gongs"]

Pip: oh, man.

Destroy farmer.

[Drill buzzes]

He's heading for the electric fence.

Pip: he's gonna char broil the farmer.

Abby: I'm on it.

Destroy farmer.

Destroy farmer.

[Farmer grunts]

I must be putting too much riboflavin in their feed.

Makes 'em jumpy.

What am I doing here?

Otis, you've hypnotized yourself

To destroy the farmer.

Pip: it's true, he was almost a farmer flambeé.

Guys, ok, if you're trying to mess with my head

You're gonna have to do waybetter than that.

Oh, and keep an eye on the farmer.

He doesn't look so hot.

[Hammer tapping]

[Hammer "dings"]

Ahh...

[Abby gasps]

Oh.

[Bell clanging...]

[Gasps]

[Farmer grunts]

[Bike bell rings]

[Gasps]

Ahh...

The only one who can snap him out of it

Is the same person who hypnotized him.

Well, that's impossible.

It was some actor in an old movie.

Maybe he made another movie called

"Please, don't destroy the farmer."

Well, I don't hear you guys coming up with anything.

It says if wedon't snap him out of hit

He'll just keep trying till he succeeds.

Or thinks he succeeded.

All: hmm...

Why are we all going "hmm?"

Not sure, just play along.

[Machinery pounding and clanking...]

[Splashing]

All clear, let's do it.

[Bell rings]

Destroy farmer.

Destroy farmer.

Destroy farmer.

Hey, folks, viewer mail time again.

Oh, here's one from sally, age .

[Clears throat]

"Dear pig...

Aren't you interrupting the story at the most suspenseful part?"

Well, the answer is "yes", sally.

Yes, I am.

Keep those cards and letters coming.

Destroy farmer.

[Splash]

[Muttering]

What did I just do?

Oh, no, they were telling the truth.

No!

Farmer, are you in there?

Farmer...

[Screaming...]

[Screams]

Are you ok?

Don't swallow.

That is a lot of cholesterol.

[Bell rings]

Pig, what are you doing?

Can't you see I've turned the farmer

Into an enormous stick of butter.

Hey, he's cured.

Uh, never say "cure" to a pig.

Otis, it's just a mannequin.

We used it to shock you out of your hypnosis.

You mean I didn't...

Then he isn't...

So he's not...

Nope, see?

Whoo-hoo.

Aw, that's sweet.

Hey, maybe he'll forget where he's running

And just keep going.

Isn't that a nice thought?

He'll just keep running and running and running

And never come back.

I hope that happens.

Oh, not again.

Farmer, I can't believe you're not butter.

[Grunts, bones cr*ck]

I promise I'll never fool with hypnotism again.

Talking cow.

Maybe this one last time.

Pretty watch.

Man: [as "law and order" announcer]: in the barnyard justice system

There are animals who commit crimes

And animals who prosecute them.

Some of them have udders.

["Law and order" rooster crow]

[Coyote howls]

[Owl hoots]

[Bird caws]

[Panting]

[Animal growls]

Peck: no, no...

Stop following me.

It's not use, peck.

You can't run from me.

[Taunting laugh]

No... Go away!

I can't help myself.

I'm so hungry.

[Growls]

Freddy, peck, where are you guys?

Pig's gonna eat your breakfast.

Oh, actually...

Pig ate your breakfast.

I'm worried, otis.

They've been out all night.

I'll bet they're cold and hungry

And have terrible morning breath.

[Sniffs]

[Barking howl...]

I think duke's picked up their trail.

Did you find 'em boy?

No, but check out this unchewed tennis ball.

I know what I'm doin' this weekend, whoo.

Hey, look, peck's feathers.

They lead off this way.

Otis: through mrs. Beady's garden?

Come on, guys.

Mmm...

Two tickets to giblet town, please.

Freddy, freddy, wake up.

Hm, what, thigh bone, dark meat...

Minutes per pound, ding.

Abby: freddy, what are you doing here?

And where's peck?

Peck? I'm...

I'm not sure.

Last night's kind of a blur.

A likely story, ferret.

How do you explain all these feathers?

Looks to me like someone had rooster takeout last night.

What, that's sick?

I am deeply, deeply offended.

[Coughs][all gasp]

Pip: busted.

Abby: freddy, how could you?

All right, all right, calm down everybody.

I'm sure there's a logical explanation.

You bet there is- freddy's eaten peck.

The scent of villainy is in the air, I say.

No, no, wait [sniffs].

That's another tennis ball.

[Barking]

["Law and order" rooster crow]

Freddy: um, otis...

Who selected the jury?

[Clucking and squawking]

All rise.

Animal court is now in session.

Judge bessy presiding.

Guilty.

Now let's get to the punishment.

You haven't heard any evidence yet.

I don't need evidence.

I can tell he did it by his beady little ferret eyes.

But if cud breath is gonna make a big deal about it...

Prosecutor, proceed.

Ladies, I don't wanna prosecute freddy.

He's nice and kind and cute.

[Coughs]

But that doesn't change the fact that he's

A remorseless, cold-blooded k*ller!

[Alarmed clucking]

I object.

Me, too.

Bessy: order, order...

I said order.

I'd like an extra-large calzone with mushrooms, please.

Oh, and I'd like...

[Snoring]

Duke, will you please tell us what you found

In freddy's crawl space?

With pleasure.

I infiltrated his den of carnivorous evil

And found this cookbook entitled

"To serve chicken."

[Gasps]

Your honor, may I wildly speculate?

You may...

Especially if it proves he's guilty.

All right, here's what happened.

Freddy's appetite became inflamed

By reading chicken cookbooks.

He snuck off, eluding the keen senses

Of a masked canine avenger

Who was bravely defending the barn against a g*ng of desperadoes.

Finally, he att*cked peck

Rolled him into a giant burrito

And cooked him for to minutes.

Trust me on this.

I'm a professional.

I find this burrito making mongoose guilty.

Ok, one... None of that happened.

And two, we haven't even heard freddy's side of the story.

Freddy: no, otis, they're right.

I probably don't even have a side of the story.

What?

You guys have been friends for years.

You both briefly dated the same weasel.

Why would you suddenly turn on him?

I can't remember, otis.

All I know is

I followed peck into mrs. Beady's garden

And when I woke up, my head was throbbing...

Right here.

Abby: let the record show

That the defendant's skull says "erowmab".

It's a prison tattoo.

I'll bet he's a repeat offender.

Objection.

I'm getting tired of saying this:

Guilty.

What about the jury?

All: guilty.

Uh, guilty.

I sentence the accused

To be donated to a pet store

And banished from the barnyard forever.

What?

It's better this way, otis.

I can't be trusted.

I'm obviously some sort of a monster.

Duke: let's go, dirtbag.

I guess freddy diddo it.

I can't believe we didn't see this coming.

Pip: dude, it's all he talks about.

My brain's the size of a pea and I saw it coming.

I don't buy it.

There's no way freddy ate peck.

Come on, guys.

Let's go solve the case of the apparently eaten rooster.

I don't know, otis.

That's really gonna cut into my mud-wallowing time and...

I'll bring snacks.

I'm in.

["Law and order" rooster crow]

Talking animals.

Rutting around in my arugula.

I'll show them.

We're gonna need some kind of distraction.

Pigster, you feel like dressing up?

Aw, again?

Why do I always have to be the one in disguise?

Snacks.

I'm in.

Uh, good day, madam.

May I have a moment of your time?

I'm an ordinary traveling salesman, as you can see.

Are you troubled by smart-alecky talking animals?

Yes, yes, I am.

Then I may be able to distract... Uh, help you.

May I come in?

Ok, we're gonna look for clues

Like they do on those highly-rated crime shows.

First, I'm gonna scan the area with a sensitive laser light.

Hey, a clue.

It's a paper bag with a pecan sticky bun inside.

Oh, yeah, that's real nice.

But, you know, most clues are extremely hard to detect with the naked eyed so

I'll have to dust for prints with this very special...

Pip: another clue.

It's mrs. Beady's bamware frying pan.

Wrap it up, dude.

I'm doing all the work here.

Stop being a clue hog.

Fine, I'll just sit in this hole.

Good, sit in that hole.

Hey, this is no hole, it's a paw print.

And there's more leading off that way.

Looks like we got ourselves a witness.

["Law and order" rooster crow]

Now this item would be extremely useful against chilean spider monkeys.

Oh, I see, I see...

Psst, hey pig, come on.

Not now, I'm with a customer.

[Screams]

Go away, I'm armed!

Oh, now I'll never make my sales quota.

Wait, does this come in chartreuse?

["Law and order" rooster crow]

Freddy: I don't wanna go to the pet store.

No one buys ferrets anymore.

I'll be a lifer.

Pipe down, the guy's already on his way, punk.

Once he picks you up

It's so long flesh-craving psychopath.

But duke, do you think the store will take me

With the carrier smelling like this?

Oh, right- like I'm gonna fall for that old...

Smelling?

You know, I'm intrigued by smells.

Let's have a whiff.

[Sniffs] hmm...

[Clanks]

Ah-ha-ha-ha-ha.

So long, sucker.

Duke: hey, get back here.

You'll never get away with this.

Is this the smell?

[Sniffing] did you mean this?

[Sniffs] hm, it is citrusy.

It's a citrusy kind of thing, hey [sniffs]?

Boy, I wish peck could've seen me put one over on old duke.

[Laughing]

But he can't, I've eaten him.

There's no use fighting it.

I'm a monster

And there's only one place for a ruthless deviant like me.

Come on, you got, like what, brothers and sisters [chuckles]?

I can sell you a gross of 'em, what do you say?

Hey chubsie...

What do you know about a missing rooster?

Holy cow, it's the heat.

Oh, no, you don't.

[Grunts... Panting]

I don't know nothin'- I swear, nothin'.

All right, look, I like you, ok?

You got a nice face.

But, you know, my crazy partner over here

Might feel a little differently.

Rodents like you make me sick.

You can't dig a hole deep enough to get away from me, fat cheeks.

Whoa, whoa, hang on, hang on.

If you're the good cop, all right...

And he's the bad cop, uh

Who's he?

I'm the funny cop- pull my finger.

What were you doing in mrs. Beady's garden last night, chubsie?

All right, all right, I'll sing.

I was supposed to meet the rooster, see?

But that ferret wasn't part of the deal, so i, uh...

I high-tailed it.

Why were you meeting peck?

And you better tell the truth.

I was gonna hand off some merchandise.

This stuff?

It's skin lotion.

[Screams]

Guys, I was right.

Freddy didn't do it.

Ok, here's what really happened.

Peck had an embarrassing skin condition

Which made him shed feathers.

His plan was to get lotion from the gopher

And pay for it with a pecan sticky bun-

A common gopher currency.

A sticky bun, which the starving freddy found irresistible.

Pig: I'll take it from here.

Then suddenly the handsome and dreamy flamenco dancing pig comes in

And dazzles everyone with his feet of fire, right?

Otis: no, he doesn't.pig: oh.

Otis: peck ran.

He didn't want anyone to see him molting.

Pip: my turn, my turn.

Just then, bessy pledged her undying love to me.

She threw herself into my arms

And I carried her off to begin our new life as stock car drivers.

Otis: can I finish, please?

Pip: killjoy.

Otis: anyone, freddy chased peck into mrs. Beady's garden

Where mrs. Beady ambushed him with her bamware frying pan.

[Clank]

He fell into peck's feathers and woke up with amnesia.

It all adds up, guys.

Freddy is way innocent.

But otis, if freddy's innocent, then where's peck?

I think I know that too.

Come on, for the last time.

["Law and order" rooster crow]

Oh, there they are.

The poor, grieving hens.

[Clucking and sobbing]

Poor grieving delicious...

[Slurping] protein-packed hens.

What am I saying?

I can't eat them.

They're my friends.

Are they?

Huh?

You're a ferret, they're chickens.

Why f-f-f-fight it?

Freddy: I won't listen.

Get thee behind me, evil reflecting freddy.

Go on. You know you want to.do it.

Finger-lickin' good.[Growls]

No!

Hey, freddy, what ya doing?

Oh, hey, peck.

Me and the guys where just talking about you... Peck!

You're not inside me.

I mean, I didn't feast on your juicy flesh.

I mean, hooray.

Hey, you don't look so good.

You wanna get a pizza?

Abby: there they are.

Bessy: so dumb-dumb was right.

That freaky ferret didn't eat peck after all.

We found him in an aloe patch

Trying to treat his skin condition.

When otis told me what happened, well...

I ran right here to straighten out this whole crazy mistake.

Best friend. Pal of mine.

All: aww...

Oh, and here's a present from a gopher.

Honey mustard chicken glaze?

No, silly.

It's my skin lotion.

Oh... [Nervous chuckle].

Hey, wait a minute.

What about this creepy chicken serving book

We found in your room?

Oh, ha-ha, yeah, see um...

Here's the thing.

That's not mine, it belongs to a friend.

He's a ferret... Badger

Named freddy... Benny!

Benny the badger.

[Nervous laugh]

Abby: I buy it.pip: me too.

Pig: well, I don't like this benny the badger.

Well, as lead defense cow

I officially declare this case closed.

All: yay!

I don't know.

Somehow I feel like we've forgotten something.

Ah, don't worry about it.

I mean, if it was that important we probably wouldn't have forgotten it.

I don't belong here.

I was set up.

I want a lawyer.

[Sniffs] hm...

Do you guys smell that, it's like a...

Like a kiwi or a tangelo or...

Man: or a happy monkey.

[♪...]

Man: o...

Squeaky voice: nation.

[♪...]