04x06 - S.W.A.K. / Magic Meatball

[bunniefuu]

(Buzzing )

(Rattling )

♪ Rocko's modern life

Rocko's modern life.

♪ Rocko's modern life

Rocko's modern life.

(Whistling and buzzing )

(Splat! )

(Screaming )

♪ Rocko's modern life

Rocko's modern life.

That was a hoot!

(Sighing )

(Car pulling up )

Oh, no!

She's already at the bigheads' house!

(Panting )

(Sighing )

Those dainty hands

So deftly sorting.

Nor sleet, nor snow nor dark of night

Shall keep you from my heart.

Wait!

Miss! Miss!

Excuse me, miss!

(Panting )

If I could just give her this stupid letter

She would know how I really feel.

Right on time.

Uh... Hi there.

Hi there.

Heh-heh... I, uh...

I didn't see you drive up.

Say, you're quite a diligent gardener.

Yes. Well...

A well-groomed lawn is, uh...

A happy lawn, don't you think?

Uh, sure.

Bye now.

Right.

Bye-bye.

(Groaning )

Tomorrow, she gets the letter.

Today's the day.

Uh, before you say anything, these are for you.

And these are for you.

You got a past-due bill, a bounced check notice

A letter from your mom-- she's doing fine--

Oh, and you owe bucks on your credit card.

But where's... Uh, wher..?

Alicia?

Nice tie, by the way.

She's sick, so I'm filling in for her.

Please make sure she gets the letter.

It's very important.

Have no fear, rocko.

(Sniffing )

Say...

(Teasing ): this smells like alove letter!

That's none of your business.

♪ Rocko and alicia

♪ Sitting in a tree

♪ K-i-s-s-i-n-...

Just deliver the letter, heff.

Okay

But I don't think wallace

Is going to take it very well.

Wallace?

Who's wallace?

You know-- wallace from pizza face pizza.

(Bell rings )

Can I have extra cheese?

Oh. Heh-heh.

That wallace.

Maybe you better give me that letter back.

No can do, rock.

No can do.

The postman's creed clearly states

That once an item to be mailed-- i.e., Your letter--

Leaves the customer's hand-- that means you--

And is placed in a recognized postal receptacle

Or the hand of a postal distributor-- that's me--

It-- the letter-- becomes official property

Of the u.s. Government and can't be interrupted from reaching

Its destination.

Unless, of course

There is insufficient postage.

I didn't have a stamp on it.

That's okay. I'll spot you one.

Come on. You can give the letter back to me.

Have you no respect for the law?!

Tampering with the mail is a federal offense

And I'm not doing time for nobody.

If I don't get that letter back

I'll be doing time under wallace's fist.

(Whistling )

Where's that letter?

(Whistling continues )

(Snoring )

(Trumpeting sound )

And be careful-- it's fragile.

(Glass breaking )

"...or the hand of a postal distributor

(Laughing ): "it-- the letter--

Becomes official property of the u.s. Government."

Cookies!

(Cheering )

Two seconds on the clock, down by three.

He sh**t...

(Crashing )

(Makes buzzer sound )

(Whistling continues )

(Engine whirring )

I've got to find that letter.

(Screams )

I've got to find that letter and get out of here.

What the..?

There it is.

Got it!

(Clattering )

Thank goodness.

(Screaming )

Hey! My letter!

(Glass breaking )

(Yells )

(Beeping )

(Alarm blaring )

I hate my job.

(Tarzan yell )

I gotta get that letter.

(Yells )

Ow.

Mr. Thomas!

Mr. Smith!

Mrs. Johnson!

Whoo-hoo!

P. Brockman.

It's fun to be a mailman.

Occupant.

(Whistling )

(Doorbell rings )

Hi, wallace.

I got a letter for alicia.

No! Wait, heffer!

Think! Stop!

(Growling )

Oh, please be stupid, please be stupid.

What's the matter, can't read?

No problem.

I'll read it to you.

Um, heffer...

I don't think that would be a good idea.

"To my mail carrier:

"You are like a ray of golden sunshine.

"With each delivery

"You bring a glimmer of joy

"That warms my heart.

Love, rocko."

(Growling and crashing )

You're special, too, rocko.

(High-pitched voice ): you mean... You and you?

Ah, that's so sweet.

(Whistling )

Here you go.

Door-to-door service

Thanks to your postal buddy.

Thanks?

Thanks for almost getting me

Folded, spindled and mutilated, you postal idiot!

But rocko, my credo.

The mail carrier's oath.

I only did what any honest

And trustworthy mail carrier would do.

Don't you have some mail to deliver?

Oh, yeah. For you.

It's from someone named "s.w.a.k."

S.w.a.k.?

Sealed with a kiss.

"Dear rocko: think you are really nice."

She thinks I'm nice.

"In case you are wondering, wallace is my brother."

He's not her boyfriend!

He's just her brother!

(Sighing )

Does it say anything else?

"P.s.: I think your fat friend is cute.

Can you give me his phone number?"

Yes!

I'm in love!

Love!

(Hooting and yelling )

I'm in love!

I'm as merry as a schoolboy!

My heart is so light!

The eternal mystery of love!

Just a little postal prank.

(Kissing sound )

Burt: yeah, you're getting warmer.

W-warmer... Warmer.

O-okay, fire. Fire.

Fire, fire.

What's it say?

Ernie: "ed bighead."

(Laughing )

I don't care what you say.

I'm good management material.

Next time you guys see me, I'll be givingyou orders.

Walla: ah, you'll be back.

You'll never cut it.

We'll keep your seat warm, bighead.

Don't get too comfy, bighead.

You'll be back.

(All yelling insults )

Ya toad.

I will never darken these doors again.

Walla: here, stupid.

You'll need this.

(All laughing )

Not the old magic meatball gag.

I'll show those idiots.

I'm a great manager.

Don't you think so?

Ah, what do you know?

You bighead?

Yes, sir.

Yes, sir!

I'm your new executive.

Ready to work.

I want you to know, sir, that conglom-o is my life

And I can do...

Yeah, whatever.

(Grunting )

(Nervous chuckling )

So, here's your office.

Let me get rid of this.

(Coughing )

What's your name again?

Uh, bigfed?

Uh, no.

It's ed big...

Whatever.

Ninneman!

What are you still doing here?

I, i-i'm almost finished with form one, sir.

You got to keep up, ninneman.

Keep up or get out!

(Buzzing )

No! Wait!

(Screaming )

(Scream continues echoing )

So, here you go, bigbed.

I'll check on you later.

Oh, uh, thank you, sir.

Oh, and don't bother unpacking your stuff.

Well, being an executive is easy.

I can do this.

Yup. No problem.

No problem at all.

(Chuckling )

Bighead, get to work!

Hurry, bighead!

You got to keep up!

Yes, sir!

Sorry, sir.

Keep up, bighead.

Keep up!

You got to keep up, bighead!

Keep up or get out!

Ah!!!

Come on, now.

I'm going to finish this work.

Okay. "Form one.

"Is the derivative share requirement

Indexed according to the cost and percentage analysis?"

(Groaning softly )

Is the derivative share requirement

Indexed according to cost and percentage analysis?

Okay! That's what I needed.

Now I'm on my own. Ha!

Form two. Let's go!

Noway: so, this is your office.

Don't bother unpacking your stuff.

Rigshed?! You're supposed to be out of here.

(Babbling )

You got to keep up, bighead.

Keep up or...

What's that?

You, you finished?

Let's just see about that.

(Mumbling )

(Sputtering )

It's just incredible.

These answers are great, bighead.

b*at it, you!

You! You're the answer man, bighead.

You've got the answers we're looking for.

You're moving up, bighead.

Look, bighead.

You got a little sky there.

Nope. There's no doubt about it, bighead.

You keep this up, you're going to the top.

(Knock at door )

Yes?

Um...

(Clearing throat )

Mr. Bighead, sir?

What can I do for you, mayday?

Uh, w-well, sir, we have a parking problem.

Oh, I have a little hangnail.

Uh, yes, sir.

So, what's the problem, whatsay?

Uh, yes, uh, um, we don't know whether or not

To expand employee parking

Or to let them fend for themselves.

We really need one ofyour big decisions.

(Nervous chuckle )

Is that all?

All right, I'll bail you out. Again.

The president will be down at : for your decision.

Thank you, sir. Thank you.

Parking. Ha-ha.

Can't they figure out anything on their own?

Am I the only one working in this company?

Work, work, work.

They're going to wear me out.

I'm making so many decisions.

You'd think I was running this company.

(Shattering )

Ah!!!

No!

No! Meatball.

Meatball, are you okay?

No!

No! No! No!

Come on. Come on.

(Sobbing )

Oh.

Ooh.

Huh? Meatball.

Meatball! You're okay!

What do you need?

Can I get you anything?

Wa... Water.

Water? Right! Hold on.

Here you go.

Oh, thank goodness.

I didn't know how I was going to make

That big decision without you.

Oh... Uh, I don't know, ed.

I'm not feeling so hot.

Please try.

It's important.

Oh, okay.

(Grunting )

Nope. Nothing.

Oh, no!

What are we going to do?

W-what can I get you?

Maybe you could get something in my stomach.

I'll get you something from the cafeteria.

Too greasy.

How about some chinese, or something?

Yes, yes, sure, sure.

(Belching )

Sit tight.

Hurry back.

And think about that question.

So, how about that parking question, hmm?

Oh, yeah, parking. Hmm...

(Burping )

Uh, nope.

I'm drawing a blank, there.

What do you mean, you're drawing a blank?

The meeting's at :.

Hey! I'm the one that's overworked here!

Uh, oh, i-i, I'm so sorry.

What can I do for you?

How can I help you remember, hmm?

Well...

(g*nf*re )

(Burping )

(Sniveling )

Meatball. Meatball, don't cry.

It doesn't hurt. See?

(Laughing )

I'm fine.

I'm laughing.

It's no use.

I... I...

(Blubbering )

I feel so empty!

Meatball, don't get upset.

(Sobbing )

This just isn't doing it.

I don't know what's...

I don't know what's wrong with me.

(Blubbering )

Tell me what I can do for you.

Anything! Anything at all.

You name it.

(Laughing )

(Sniffling )

Well... There is one thing I've always wanted to do.

Anything! Anything!

What is it?

You've made me

The happiest meatball in the world.

Meatball, please, I need your decision.

I need your answer!

Is that the only reason you married me?

No, no, of course not!

It's, it's just that they're coming at :

And time is almost up.

I-i need to know the answer.

(Crying hysterically )

You're not the man I married.

Not the man you married?!

Listen, you, I've given you everything.

Now you're going to tell me the answer!

(Sobbing )

I want to call it off.

(Bell dings )

I have complete confidence

In his abilities as a decision-maker.

If he's as good as you say, I'd better watch my job.

(Chuckling )

(Chuckling )

Good one, sir.

Very good.

Well, here we are, sir.

Behind this door lies the answer

To all of our problems.

Uh! How can you say that?

Haven't I given you everything--

Everything you've always wanted, and more?

I have nothing left to give.

Now it wants to call it off!

(Buzzing )

I'm sorry to waste your time, sir.

(Clearing throat )

Hello. My name is ed bighead, and...

I have a meatball problem.