02x26 - Aliens!!!

[bunniefuu]

All: whee!

[Eerie, otherworldly music]

[Upbeat hoedown music]

♪

- ♪ From the haystacks up to the hilltops ♪

♪ We go on dancing

♪ Two-step boogie-oogie through the night ♪

♪ Do si do your partner now ♪

♪

♪ Party till the morning light ♪

♪

♪ Do si do and don't you know ♪

♪ It's just the way we animals roll ♪

- Huh?

[Fearful bleating]

[Startled clucking]

- Hey, guys.

Check out my new satellite dish.

I can get over a gajillion channels with this baby.

- Oh, it's a satellite dish.

- What a relief!

I thought it was one of them nuc-u-lar reactors.

- Actually, abby, it's pronounced nu-cle-ar.

- Nuc-u-lar.

- No, nu-cle-ar.

- Nuc-u-lar. - Nu-cle-ar.

- Nuc-u-lar. - Nu-cle-ar.

- Nuc-u-lar! - Nu-cle-ar.

- Nuc-u-lar! - Nu-cle-ar.

Nu-cle-ar.

- Nuc-u-lar.

- Okay, try this. Nu...

- Nu. - Cle...

- Cle. - Ar...

- Ar. - Nuclear.

- Nuc-u-lar!

- Ah, make them stop!

- So, otis, where'd you get this thing, anyway?

- From the nasa gift catalog.

It's the same kind

They use to search for aliens in deep space.

But I'm gonna use it to watch monkey boxing from rio.

[Monkeys shrieking]

- Awesome, but how can we afford it?

- I'll just return it for a full refund in ten days,

When the farmer gets back

From extreme chip dip bungee jumping camp.

- Whee!

Crunch!

Boing!

- Hey, bessy.

Come check out otis' satellite dish.

- Shove off, rat.

I'm writing a personal ad.

- A what?

"Passionate she-cow seeks charismatic hunk

Who'll treat her like a queen."

Hey, no fair!

You're my queen!

- I am?

Well, here, let me knight you.

- Aaagh!

Aaagh!

Splash!

- Hey, there you are.

Quit fooling around and help me set this dish up.

- Next up on the garaldo factor:

Are your neighbors secretly signaling aliens?

The answer may surprise you.

- Oh, garaldo.

You and your mustache are keeping the world safe.

- Come on, girls! - I'm pushing!

[Grunting]

- Lift with your back!

- Neighbors secretly signaling aliens?

- That's right,

Neighbors secretly signaling aliens.

That's right.

Secretly signaling aliens.

Aliens. - [Gasps]

Those talking animals have an alien alliance!

With aliens!

[Monkeys shrieking]

- He's got him on the ropes.

Come on, bingo.

- Grab him! Grab him!

- Come on, you monkeys, move!

- Give him the rope-a-dope!

Yeah, baby!

- Monkey boxing from rio...

Man, I love this new dish.

- And ze winner by unanimous decision is--

[Static hissing] all: huh?

- My gazillion channels!

What happened?

[Tractor revving]

- Mrs. Beady!

- She's trying to haul away our dish!

- Come on, you lazy tractor.

Mush!

Mush!

[Shrieks]

Crash!

- It's okay, baby.

Daddy won't let the bad woman hurt you.

- Incoming!

- I know what you're all up to.

You're signaling aliens with that dish of yours.

Well, not on my watch.

- Aliens? - What's she talking about?

- She's usually so nice.

- Guys, no one messes with

Our pixelated, multichannel, hi-def experience.

It's time to act.

- But you have this dish for ten days.

We can't keep her away that long.

- Oh, can't we?

She's already babbling about aliens.

If we fake an alien invasion,

She'll run screaming and stay away for at least that long.

And here's how we do it.

[Whispering] whisper, whisper, whisper, aliens,

Whisper, whisper, whisper.

- Right.

Male announcer: after more whispering, this happened:

- Freddy, peck, shine those space helmets.

Pig, get that scenery up.

Look sharp, people.

We go live in minutes.

- Huh, looks like today's weather is partly stupid

With a % chance of dumb.

- Hey, bessy.

There's someone here to answer your ad.

- At last, my love connection has arrived.

- Hey, hey, sweetcakes, you're looking fine.

- Who the heck are you?

- I am the charismatic hunk

Who's gonna treat you like a queen.

Check out these abs!

That's what jorge brings to the party!

Come on, let's dance!

Boom! Boom! Cha-cha-cha!

Boom! Boom! Cha-cha-cha!

Aaagh!

Boom!

- That showed him, bessy.

You're a one-mouse cow, and that mouse is--

Aaagh!

Again?

Aaagh!

- Pip, stop fooling around.

Is the satellite set to broadcast?

- I'm on it.

It's pointed at mrs. Beady's house.

Say the word, and we cut right into her tv signal.

- Just be sure not to set it on deep space.

The only bizarre life form we want to contact is mrs. Beady.

- Let's see.

Deep space, earth only.

Got it.

- Yes, hello, ben's bulldozing?

I have a satellite dish

That needs to be bulldozed immediately.

- This is gil o'malley,

Investigative reporter with breaking n-n-n-news.

The planet has been invaded by aliens!

- [Gasps] I'm too late!

- The strange pie plate-shaped objects

Began landing only moments ago.

Bong!

Why are they here?

We asked a chubby pink human scientist.

- As a pink scientist who is also a human...

- And chubby!

- I would say that aliens are here

To lay their eggs in our ear ducts.

- [Gasps] those are my favorite ducts!

- I urge people everywhere to fly into an uncontrolled panic,

Like this: whoo! Whoa!

It's the flailing arms that really sell it.

- Ha-ha!

This'll send her screaming for the hills

For at least a week.

Then we can enjoy our gazillion channels in peace.

- Freddy, peck, you're on.

- Attention, earthlings!

We have seized control of your shopping malls.

Aagh.

- Aagh.

- Aagh.

- Aagh.

- Man, look at that picture.

- Hey, otis, that's your cue.

- Oh, right.

Slurp!

[Beeping]

- [Computer voice] switching to deep space mode.

[Grinding and whirring]

[Static hissing]

- [Gasps]

The aliens have blocked the broadcast.

They must be close.

- [Sighs]

I'm bored.

Hey, want to braid each others' eyestalks?

- Braiding eyestalks is hardly the behavior

For a captain of an invading fleet ship.

- "Ooh, I'm the captain.

I'm all important-y."

Your eyestalks are not exempt

From the laws of good grooming, sir.

- Oh, all right. - Yay!

We're gonna braid each others' eyestalks!

We're gonna braid each others' eyestalks!

- Okay, but I insist on a french braid.

- You got it, captain!

[Siren bleeping]

Ooh, I'm receiving a powerful transmission.

- Boost the frequency.

- Boosting frequency!

- Ah, aliens!

Get 'em off me!

They're consuming my flesh!

Their saliva is so acidic!

- Pass the space salt.

- Hey, no fair!

This planet's already being invaded.

- We were here first.

I'm going to show those invaders who's boss.

Lock on to the coordinates of that broadcast.

- What's the magic word?

- Thrygleshoid.

- Thank you.

Whoosh!

[Comical music]

- Hell, I'm dr. Pig, expert,

Here to dispel some of the common myths about space aliens.

Myth number one:

Space aliens like to suck on our brains.

Not true.

Aliens think brains are disgusting.

They prefer italian food, rich desserts, and spinal cords.

Myth number two:

Aliens have superior intelligence.

False.

Most space aliens are "d" students who like to skip school

And hang ten in the sulfur oceans of rhysos .

Myth number three:

Aliens like to inv*de our bodies and pop out

When we least expect it.

Not true.

There has never been a single documented case

Of an alien popping out of anyone's--

Aaugh! Alien!

Get him out of me!

Don't let him near my ear ducts!

This is not okay with me!

- I tried to warn everyone.

Those talking animals were just the beginning.

Now they've brought alien friends!

They're here.

There's only one thing to do.

- Mrs. Beady's leaving her house.

[Cheering]

- I have a feeling

We won't be seeing her for a while.

- Actually, she's coming this way.

- Wha?

What the cud is she doing?

- Uh, you might want to look up.

[Screaming]

- Have some of aunt ethel's fruitcake, alien scum!

Zap!

Oh, this is something different.

[Cheering]

- And yet at the same time...

[Panicked yelling]

[Whirring]

- Attention, invading aliens!

We have seen your broadcast.

Sorry, but this world is ours.

Prepare to be incinerated.

Zap!

Zap!

[Yelling]

- Don't panic! Don't panic!

Bam!

- Otis, how could this have happened?

- Um, maybe because otis put his coffee cup down

On the deep space button.

- Ooh, that was the deep space button?

Oh, how embarrassing.

I didn't know, with the red and the pushing.

[Whirring and thumping]

Wait! Stop!

We're not aliens!

It's all a big mistake.

- Explain.

- We're earth animals. See?

This isn't an alien; it's a ferret!

And the whole broadcast was just a prank.

[Nervous laugh]

- A prank, eh?

We'll see about that.

- Yeah, we'll see about that.

- I hate it when you just repeat me.

- You know what? I can do better.

Say your thing again.

- All right. We'll see about that.

- Yeah, we'll--bunch of-- stupid heads!

- Really?

That's the best you can do?

We'll work on that. - Okay.

[Gasping]

Thump!

♪

- Would you stop playing that?

- Just setting the mood.

- Are you sure you're not an alien?

- Yeah, no. Definitely not.

I am just a typical male earth cow.

- He has tentacles on his stomach!

Both: augh!

- Still, you clearly pose no thr*at.

Resume plans to conquer earth!

[Gasping]

- Milk me.

Thump!

- Oh, and here.

I think this belongs to you.

- Oh, you guys are in so much trouble.

[Animals shrieking]

[Shrieking]

- Hey, this isn't exactly sunshine and puppies

For me, either, you know?

- Why did you have to put her head in a jar?

- She assaulted an imperial scout ship.

That's a class "d" misdemeanor.

- And that hairdo's a felony.

- Enough chit-chat!

It is time to conquer earth!

Summon the armada.

- No! Not the armada!

You can't! What's an armada?

- You've never heard of the imperial armada?

- Ooh, let's play them the informational hologram!

- It's the imperial armada...

All: ooh!

- A state-of-the-art galactic fighting force

Built to conquer planets

And destroy their native inhabitants.

Sit back as its cutting-edge weaponry

Reduces earth to rubble.

[Zapping]

Boom!

[Screaming]

Then rebuilds it into a fabulous new theme park.

[Cheering]

The imperial armada,

Dominating worlds for over , terafleens.

- You can't conquer earth.

We won't let you.

- But they have a roller coaster.

- Oh, I've had enough of this.

- Bessy, no!

- How'd you like me to put that flying saucer

Where the sun don't shine?

- You and what army?

- My five-fingered army.

- Why don't you say that to dienda?

Dienda my tentacle!

- Ooh, I'm frightened.

Frightened that your ugly is contagious.

- Strong words from a backplanet-dwelling,

Oxygen-breathing,

Dual-chromosomed descendant of anaerobic microbes.

[Gasping]

- I don't believe it.

- That alien outsassed bessy.

- I like a man who can sling an insult.

Pop!

Twang!

- And I like a female with fire in her belly.

[Chuckling]

- Hey, he's flirting on my lady.

- Yes, and we're all very creeped out.

- I'm bessy.

- And I am captain zortglip skippy beeblebrox

Omega whaaaauun.

- Ahem.

- Yes, right. Where were we?

- Summoning the armada.

- Right, summoning the armada.

- Powering up signal device!

[Whirring]

- Guys, we can't let them summon that armada.

Come on. I have a plan.

- Signal device powered up in a dramatic fashion.

- Summoning the armada in three,

Two...

[Upbeat party music]

Great gargalons, what is that sound?

- I don't know, but you know,

It really gets my tentacles tapping.

- Power down. We shall investigate.

[Whirring]

[Laughing and cheering]

What in the name of superheated hydrogen is this place?

- Oh, what, this?

It's a party.

Relax. Take a load off.

- Well, you're very kind.

Unfortunately, we have an armada to summon, so--

- Oh, come on, you big stuffy puss.

Party now, conquer later.

Whoo-hoo!

Yee-haw!

- Well, I suppose we could stay a little while.

- Excellent.

- Why did you say "excellent"?

- Nothing. No reason.

- Yee-haw!

- Whee!

- Whoo!

Whoo-hoo!

- Jumping quasars, you're an exciting woman.

- You ain't so bad yourself.

- Excuse me, everyone. Pardon me.

Can I have your attention, please?

Now, before they rush off to conquer earth

And destroy us all,

Let's give our new alien friends

Something to remember us by.

[Animals exclaiming]

- "Welcome, ruthless conquerors."

Hey, that's us!

- Oh, you guys.

- Enjoy! Enjoy!

[Slurping]

- So what did you put in the cake?

- Let's see...

Dynamite, some c expl*sive, blasting caps,

Just a hint of cinnamon,

And more dynamite.

- Something ain't right here.

Zortglip, don't eat that!

- But it's so cinnamon-y.

Boom!

[Cheering]

- We did it!

- Yeah, you did it, all right.

The first decent man to set foot in this dump,

And you blew him up.

- Guys, wait.

Something's happening.

- Yuck. - That is gross.

- Oh, that's not right.

Not cool. - That's nasty.

- Wow.

Earth cake really packs a wallop.

- More, please.

- Oh, zortglip skippy beeblebrox omega whaaaauun,

I was so worried.

- I'm fine, bodacious one,

But your concern warms my enzyme sacs.

[Slurping]

- Ew. - Oh.

- I can't un-see that.

- I'm gonna cry.

- Can someone cover my eyes?

- That may take some getting used to.

- Bessy, I know this is all happening very fast,

But if it's all right with the giant brain of egon,

I would like you to rule at my side as queen of earth.

- Queen of earth?

- Bessy, no!

He doesn't love you.

I do, and I'll prove it.

Smack!

- The earth cow is mine.

Taste particle beam!

- Pip, look out!

[Zapping]

- Whoa! Whoa!

Clang!

[Gasping]

- Pip! My tiny sarcasm-spewing buddy!

What did you do to him?

- He has been frozen in carbomite.

He won't bother you again, my darling.

- Where do you come off, freeze-drying my friend?

- But, dearest, he dared to exchange oral enzymes with you.

- Swap this, creep.

Sploosh!

- [Yells]

That substance! It burns!

- Ah, quit whining.

It's just milk.

Both: milk? Milk? Milk?

- Run away! It's milk!

[Gibbering]

- What did you do?

You could have dissolved him.

- Quickly, I need medical attention.

- Thanks for the party.

- So did I miss anything?

- I think bessy... Boom!

Just showed us how to b*at those alien creeps.

- Oh.

Boom!

Needs more cinam--

Boom!

- The earth cows are more dangerous than we thought.

Are we powered up yet? - Yes, sir.

The armada awaits your signal.

- Then the earth is doomed.

- Step away from the lever, tentacle boy.

- Fools!

Our blasters far outnumber your primitive milk weapons.

- That's why we brought help.

- It's milkin' time, punks.

Zap!

Splat! Splat!

[Zapping and splatting]

- Take that!

- Aaagh!

[Splatting]

- Ha ha ha!

[Giggling]

- Ahem.

- Oh, right. - Oopsie.

Ha ha!

- Little bit of this.

Little bit of that.

Take a bit of this.

- Ha!

- Would you like some of that back?

- Aaugh! - No!

[Snarls]

[Crunching]

Zap! - Oh!

Splat!

- Ooh! [Growls]

- Take that! [Splatting]

[Zapping]

- Aaugh!

- Is that all you've got?

Take this!

Zap! Splat!

- No! - [Laughing]

[Yelping]

[Thumping]

- Uh-oh.

Thump!

[Yelling]

Thump!

Oof. Ow.

[All moaning]

- Oh, my back.

- You animals have a lot of heart.

Too bad we have ten of them.

- Bessy, I got one more sh*t in me.

Reattach my blaster, and maybe I can get him.

- I got a better idea.

- Oh, that's embarrassing.

[Moaning]

- Why, bessy?

I offered you a world.

- Sorry, zortglip.

When you mess with my friends,

You hop on the pain train.

I'll just take this.

Zap!

- [Groans]

Oof!

- You okay, mouse?

- I think so.

I mean, feel woozy.

Need sweet cow loving.

- Yeah, don't push it.

- Thank goodness we stopped him before he could pull that lever.

- Guess we won't be needing these anymore.

All: no!

[Beeping]

[Whirring and zapping]

- Peck did it!

[Tires screech]

- Dude. - Dude!

[Monkey squeals]

[Beeping]

- Anyone else just soil themselves?

- We all did, pig.

But there's still hope.

Pip, activate the satellite dish.

Everyone else, to the costume bin!

- Weapons locked on target, captain.

- Destroy this planet immediately.

- Wait, I'm picking up a signal.

- On-screen.

- Oh, hello. I didn't see you there.

If you're watching this message,

It means you're about to ravage our world,

So let's learn a little bit more about earth, the milk planet.

- Oh, my.

- The creamiest planet in the solar system,

Earth is over % milk.

Our many scenic wonders include mount milkotoa,

The milklantic ocean,

And france.

- C'est si bon.

- When conquering,

Be sure to avoid the milksoon season.

Sploosh!

- This is horrifying to me.

- But don't miss milktoberfest,

When we don our festive milk suits

And dance until the milk comes milking down the milk.

Well, that's about it.

Have a good conquest, and enjoy your new planet,

Which, as I mentioned before,

Is pretty much all milk.

- Attention, fleet, reverse course immediately.

Abandon planet.

Repeat, abandon planet.

- Run away! It's milk! It's milk!

[Clanging]

Whoosh!

- Abandon planet!

Abandon planet!

[Whooshing]

[Cheering]

- Well, guys, we saved the earth,

Turned the saucer into a giant dance club,

And sent the aliens to las vegas

To headline their own lounge act.

- Thank you. Thank you very much.

Thank you. You're a beautiful crowd.

- Yes, beautiful,

Except that guy in the third row.

He has the face of a meldexian dung beetle.

[Laughter]

Am I right?

I'm just kidding, sir.

I kid out of love.

- And speaking of love, hit it, marty!

- ♪ Don't go floxing my secondary mandibular valve ♪

- ♪ I won't go floxing your secondary mandibular valve ♪

- You stink!

- And plus... Boom!

There's still plenty of cake left.

- Yup, I guess everything worked out all shiny and good-like.

- Sure did,

Unless you count mrs. Beady being a disembodied head.

- Oh, don't worry.

Freddy and I put her back together

With the aliens' ray g*n.

- Yeah, she's almost as good as new.

- Almost?

- Nathan, we have a situation here.

- My team has a situation.

- Ugh, just look at me for one second.

- Ugh, seen you a million times.

- Fine, but don't blame me if dinner is late.

I'd like to see you cook a meal

When your arm's where your leg should be.

Maybe I'll go on the garaldo show.

He'll believe me about the aliens.

I can't find my tush!