[upbeat Christmas music playing]
Tyler,
love the candy canes by the way.
They look great.
Thank you so much.
I literally could not have
done this night without you.
Oh! Oh, sorry, Luce.
Uh, you're coming tonight,
right?
-No. I-- I can't, I have plans.
-What do you mean?
-You've known about this
for months.
-[Lucy] Yeah, sorry.
[Christmas music playing
over PA]
[Elevator chimes]
[Christmas music continues]
Enough
with all this Christmas sh*t.
-Sneaking out
a little bit early...
-Jesus Christ.
...are ya?
[laughs]
-Hi, Peg.
-Hi.
Didn't see you there.
It's okay.
[clears throat]
So, got any good plans
for the holidays?
Uh no, I'm--
Uh, just headed
to my mom's tomorrow.
Oh, how nice.
You must be looking forward
to that.
Are you guys close?
Uh...
Ah...
I said, are you close
with your mother?
Yeah, uh, sure.
-Yeah?
-Yeah, I guess.
That's nice.
[clears throat, sniffles]
It's just this time of
year though, isn't it?
It's like no matter what
you do, you can't outgrow it.
I find-- I find that even I
still get excited
by the little things.
Isn't that crazy?
But you know, you, uh...
[exhales]
[chuckles]
You hear those same songs,
you see those lights,
you feel the cold
and for just this one time
of year,
even the cold feels good.
It's like--
It's like you get to be a kid
all over again.
But, uh, you're an
only child though, right?
Uh, no.
I'm one of three.
Oh, huh.
Uh--
That's, uh, funny. I--
-[elevator chimes]
-Oh!
Well, I hope you have
a nice time at home
with your family, Lucy.
And...
always remember,
no one likes a Scrooge.
[choir singing
"Carol of the Bells"]
["Carol of the Bells" continues]
[man on bike] Happy Holiday!
-Yeah, just this.
-[cashier] Sure.
[keyboard clicking]
Um...
["Carol of the Bells" continues]
It's cold out, huh?
-["Carol of the Bells" ends]
-[sighs]
Just because every child
doesn't get his wish,
that doesn't mean
there isn't a Santa Claus.
That's what I thought
you'd say.
[man] But what could you
possibly want with a house
like this?
[girl] I'll live in it
with my mother.
[man] But you have
this lovely apartment.
[girl] But I want a backyard,
and a swing, and--
she can't get it, huh?
[man] I didn't say that.
Well, that's a tall order.
But I'll do the best I can.
-May I keep this?
-[girl] Mm-hmm.
[man] Goodnight, Susan.
[Susan] Night.
[man]
Do you like living in the city?
[turn signal clicking]
[humming]
Sorry, dude.
Hello?
Hey?
Hey.
[exhales]
How was your flight?
Fine, long.
Fine, long, that's it?
What do you want,
the flight path?
Singapore.
China.
Japan.
Ocean, ocean, ocean.
[man sighs]
What are you doing on the floor?
[sighs]
Trying to fix my back.
It's 'cause I'm a 100 years old.
You old man.
Yeah. Be my--
Wait, wait, wait.
Just don't move.
Oh my God.
-[Mom].
-[Mom] Don't move.
-Hold it.
-[man] Don't move.
-Can you stop?
-Don't...
-[Mom] I got it.
-...move.
You guys look good.
I wanna take a picture.
I got it.
Hi, sweetie.
Hi.
[Mom]
You want some salad?
I have three packages
of arugula
that are about to expire.
I'd have some, too, but, um,
I had a huge roast beef sandwich
at the gas station with Tim
and I'm not feeling so well.
Why did you do that?
Well, I don't know.
Um, but you wanna run errands?
-Sure.
-[Mom] Great.
I'll be back.
She seems up.
Send text message to Cynthia.
Period.
Hi, sweetie.
-Mom, I could just text her--
-Your sister and I are--
heading out.
Call me. Love you.
Period.
Okay.
[Lucy grunts]
Okay.
Okay.
[coughs]
Smoking?
Just-- just one a day.
Okay. [clears throat]
Ooh.
Luce, look, there's Sam.
He's been here all week
helping his mother.
Usually he's in California
with his girlfriend,
but they broke up.
-Fascinating.
-Yeah. I--
think you should maybe--
-Mom.
-What?
I think he looks kinda
like Anthony Edwards.
-What?
-Mm-hmm.
Remember the ER days?
You always liked him as a kid.
-You liked more than--
-Mom!
You liked him more
than George Clooney.
-Can we just go?
-Which I thought was very odd.
Alright.
You wearing your seatbelt?
-Can we go?
-Yes.
He can't hear me.
I could hear you.
-[thudding]
-[glass breaks]
-Whoops.
-Oh my God.
Oh, that's my coffee.
Oh well.
[Mom exhales]
Hi Sam.
Hi.
[sighs] Okay.
Alright.
Should we go pick it up?
Oh, it's just my coffee cup.
It's okay.
[bright music playing
over PA]
Grab another one
with the snowflakes.
[Lucy] Okay.
[Mom] Oh,
and one of those cute gift bags.
Snowflakes.
Lucy Rauleigh?
-Hi.
-[woman] Hi.
Hi Mrs. Baker.
- Oh.
Andrea is in Paris
with her boyfriend
this Christmas,
but she told me to say hi
if I ran into you.
Really?
Oh, I-- I mean we haven't spoken
in like--
Has your father mentioned
that Jack reached out to him
about an internship
this summer
-at the network?
-Uh, no.
Watching his career take off
has been so exciting for--
for Richard and I. Ah.
We were very close
with your father.
I mean it was years ago,
but, uh,
your mother always
just sort of did her own thing,
but, uh... [chuckles]
Anyhow, it is too bad
he doesn't live here,
so I can't run into him
at the Job Lot
buying toilet paper.
[both chuckle]
You will have to come down
to the beach house this summer
when Andrea and her fianc--
boyfriend are visiting.
Uh, it just drives me
absolutely nuts
that that house sits there
empty all winter,
but you know,
it's not near a mountain,
so no one wants to hear it
from me.
[chuckles]
Mmm, well.
Luce?
-Oh.
-[Lucy] Coming.
I better get going,
but I will see you around.
-Bye.
-Bye.
Coming.
How come you two never hang out?
I like Mrs. Baker.
She's very social.
[chuckles]
I don't know, I guess
I don't like her very much.
Why not?
Mom, she's successful.
-Doesn't matter.
-She's still got a lot of energy
She's very put together.
I don't think
she's a very nice person.
She's a perfectly normal woman,
mom.
She was really nice
to me in there.
Let's go get coffee.
Hold on.
Great. Let's go.
[Newscaster 1 on TV]
...gusts on the cape.
And a new question,
how far down does the snow get?
Will there be snow?
[Lucy]
I mean, I'm not really sure
why we're even doing this.
It's kind of late,
and you know,
we're gonna have
take it down in two days,
you realize?
[Tim sighs]
Yeah, I will.
[Lucy] Sorry. [chuckles]
So, did Cynthia tell
you she got mom a cruise?
[Lucy]
Okay, does everyone in
this family smoke now?
You know it's bad for you,
right?
Yeah, so it's like $800 each,
but it's like a--
a classic cruise.
800 bucks each?
[Tim] Whoa, spooky.
Cyn said that you would say that
and I'm supposed to say
you make plenty of money, Lucy.
You make plenty of money, Lucy.
Does Cynthia ever think to--
I don't know,
maybe consult one of us
before she makes
these decisions?
Also, it's a surprise,
and it's on the 28th.
God, these things are so old.
[Lucy]
Oh, just... [sighs]
You know, I--
I don't even think mom owns--
I don't think mom owns
a bathing suit anymore,
-you know?
-[Tim] Huh?
[Lucy]
I mean, she definitely doesn't.
You know what?
I'm gonna go inside.
[Tim]
What? Why?
[Lucy sighs]
Just this is not how siblings
are supposed to work.
We're supposed to talk
to each other
about these kinds of things.
[Tim]
We're talking.
Jesus.
[hums]
[floor creaks]
Can't sleep?
What? No. I-- [sniffles]
I'm fine.
It's okay to look at it.
It was a beautiful wedding.
[Lucy exhales]
Um.
I don't think
this should be out...
in the dining room
for people to see.
[Mom chuckles] It's not like
I have people over often.
Well, maybe you should.
Um...
Do you miss him, sweetheart?
[sighs]
No.
We got divorced for a reason.
Well, that doesn't mean
you can't miss him.
I-- I miss Nate sometimes.
We're still friends on Facebook.
He, um, he doesn't post
very much anymore.
When your father
and I got divorced--
Mom, please.
Lucy, I'm-- I'm just trying
to have a conversation.
You and dad got divorced
like, what, 30 years ago?
You had three kids together.
It's an entirely
different situation.
And I-- I don't think I should
be taking advice from you.
[exhales]
Um, I'm gonna go to bed.
-Lucy.
-Mom, I asked you before
to get rid of it.
[Mom]
You were the one looking at it.
Because it was out.
[Mom]
Fine.
Get rid of it.
Fine.
You know, I just--
I just wish you'd like me
a little bit more.
Might-- it might make Christmas
more fun.
You think I don't want
a fun Christmas, too, mom?
Where everyone's together
on Christmas.
You think I don't want that?
[Mom]
I don't know, Lucy.
[sighs]
Well, don't you wish
we could just wake up tomorrow
and be the perfect family?
But we're not.
[sniffles, sighs]
[dog barking in distance]
[spoon clanks]
Hmm.
Did mom go out?
I don't know.
Hmm, what do you mean
you don't know?
-I haven't seen her.
-Did, like--
like in-- in a while or at all?
Like in a while.
Oh, well...
[Lucy exhales]
-What's up?
-Uh, nothing.
Mom!
I don't think she's here.
[Lucy] Mom?
Mom?
Mom!
Her car's not in the driveway,
Tim!
[panting]
-Did you call her?
-Yeah.
Her phone was off.
[sighs]
[breathing heavily]
Uh, she probably went
on her walk.
You think she went for a walk?
-No. Mom doesn't exercise.
-[Lucy] She doesn't really walk.
No...
Okay, I'm gonna go out.
Um, run some errands.
Do you want to come?
No. [sighs]
Really?
[clock chimes]
Really.
Fine.
Well, just let me know
if you hear from her.
Oh, where am I going?
I have to get dressed.
[choir singing
"Here We Come A-wassailing"]
Here we come a-Wassailing
And among the leaves so green
Here we come a wandering
So fairly to be seen
Love and joy come to you
And to you a Wassail too
And God bless you
and send you a happy New Year
And God send you
a happy New Year
[salesperson]
So, as you know,
we are actually a little
bit low on the trees outside,
But we do have some
interesting options indoors.
So we have these, uh, wreaths,
which are 50% off,
and then we have, uh,
some garlands over there
and we have ribbons, uh,
which are also discounted
over there.
You know what?
I'm actually
not gonna get a tree.
-Why not?
-Or anything. [chuckles]
But thank you so much
for your help.
I mean,
you could still totally get it.
It's only the 23rd.
I know, but-- [sighs]
you know what?
There's just no little kids
in my house.
-Right.
-So, it just doesn't--
-Lucy.
-I mean--
Hi.
Oh, hi.
Hey, Sam.
-Last minute...
-Hi.
...tree buying?
No.
They're not buying trees.
They don't have little kids
in their house.
My, uh-- my mom got one
of those fake trees.
-Oh, no.
-And I couldn't take it.
It doesn't smell like anything.
If I wanted a fake tree,
I would have stayed
in California.
So, I said screw it
and came here.
-Hm.
-Nice.
-Yep.
-It's a good one.
How is everything?
It's been years, huh?
I know. Uh, great.
-Yeah?
-Yeah. Doing really good.
I think I saw Tim get in--
-Yep. Tim. And Cynthia...
-Yeah, and Cynthia--
-...arrives today...
-Ah.
...from Chicago.
[clears throat]
Your mom cracks me up.
[both chuckle]
-She's, uh--
-Yep.
I always thought your family
was cool.
[christmas music
playing over PA]
-And your mom, she's good?
-Yeah, she's good.
-Hm.
-You guys should come
over tonight if you're free.
-Ah.
-But I-- You know, I should
probably get home
and put this tree in some water.
-Okay.
-But I'll see you around?
-Yeah.
-Yeah?
-Happy holidays.
-Happy holidays.
Kids in the house?
Nope. [chuckles]
Um, yeah, I'll just--
[sucks teeth]
get the both of 'em.
Hello, hello, hello.
[chuckles]
What fresh nonsense is this?
Oh my God.
I-- I thought mom wanted some.
Uh, they're called
"Poinsettias".
Yeah.
Pretty proud of myself.
These are very festive, right?
Yeah, I didn't know you had
that in you.
Yeah.
Okay, so mom's not back
from her walk?
-No.
-Okay.
[sighs]
Okay.
Yeah.
Um, um,
when does Cynthia get in?
Soon, I think.
Okay, Tim.
When-- when Cynthia gets in,
just tell her that--
[grunts]
What?
I already told her.
You already told her what?
That you and mom probably got
into a fight
and now we don't know
where she is?
That's not what happened.
Oh, it's not?
What did happen?
-[brake screeches]
-[sighs]
-sh*t!
-Speak of the devil.
Hi, Cyn!
[Car door closes]
Everything's fine.
Honestly, I don't know
why I thought that
we could just all have a
normal family Christmas
together.
Okay,
she's probably out shopping.
[sighs] What did you do?
-Nothing.
-Oh, you didn't do anything?
You know that her flight for
the cruise leaves on the 28th,
right?
Oh, oh yeah.
Thanks for consulting
with me on that, by the way.
Ugh.
She doesn't even like cruises.
Roll that.
Wait.
So where's your new boyfriend?
Like I would bring him to this?
Can you even imagine?
"Hi, Andrew.
This is my family.
Uh, we're not really sure where
our mother is right now,
but... Merry Christmas!"
I'm going into town
to get a pedicure.
You don't even like the place
in town.
[Cynthia]
Just figure it out, Lucy.
[Lucy]
Wait. So, this is my problem?
[Cynthia]
Yes.
[water pump humming]
[footsteps approaching]
[Lucy sighs]
[sighs]
Aunt Joan?
Hi, it's Lucy.
[clears throat] Um...
Yeah,
I know, it's been so long.
Um, I just wanted to call--
Have you heard from mom?
Hi, Pam.
Um...
Uh, yes, it's Lucy Rauleigh.
Um, I, uh--
Have you-- have you, uh,
spoken to my mom, uh, recently?
No?
Oh, it's been months.
No, no, no, no.
Everything's fine.
I just, um, I wanted to know
if she was supposed to get
in touch with you, right?
About the--
Yep, the honey-baked ham.
Hey, mom.
Um, I-- I keep getting
your voicemail,
and, um...
I'm sorry if I was rude.
No? Okay.
Um, would--
can you try Carol Connick?
Hi, Nancy.
Mr. Gregory?
I'm really starting
to freak out,
um, and get really worried
about you.
Um, I don't know
where your recipes are.
Help me.
Hmm.
[sniffs, coughs]
Did-- did you have any--
any Carol Rauleigh stay there?
I know, I-- I'm not allowed
to find that out, right?
I can't-- okay.
Thank you anyway, yeah.
How many golf courses is--
is the Bing Crosby Pro-am?
I don't know.
I don't even want--
I don't want to see it.
Like you have to understand,
like that is a memory
that I maybe
don't wanna... relive.
No one can get in touch
with you,
and I've tried calling everyone.
Do you want an apology from me?
Is that what's gonna get
you to pick up the phone?
Because this is really
messed up.
I just think it's really,
really messed up of you
to not call any of us back.
Um, or leave any note
or anything.
Um, so, yeah.
Merry Christmas.
Oh.
No, I think later we'll go
to the movies probably.
And then, uh, I don't know,
maybe we'll make
some sugar cookies.
Yeah.
Mom and Lucy are making dinner
right now.
I think they're gonna do
turkey and stuffing.
The whole works.
Yeah, I'll tell them you say hi.
Okay.
I love you.
Bye.
[clears throat]
Do not say a word.
[sighs]
So, no one has talked
to mom today?
No.
Half the people I spoke to
haven't spoken to mom in months.
Okay, well, that's
not that unusual, right?
People are busy.
[clicks tongue]
Oh my God, you guys.
What if mom was like--
I don't know,
what if she was like abducted
or something?
-Very funny.
-Honestly, Tim.
What? I mean...
it's a possibility.
We live in a small town,
leave the door unlocked,
some bored high school kid.
Or Lucy, maybe you
finally snapped
and k*lled mom in a fit of rage,
because she buys
too many pillows at HomeGoods.
What?
I can't put that out there?
You know what?
Maybe we should go
to the police.
Uh, I was kidding.
No, no, no, yeah, no.
This is ridiculous.
And maybe it's like when--
[sigh]
When you go to a restaurant
and the food is taking
for-f*cking-ever.
And when-- then
you just go to the bathroom.
And when you get back
the food is there.
Wha-- what?
Mom is the food
in that metaphor.
Thank you, Tim.
Yeah, no, I-- I got it.
[Cynthia sighs]
Alright,
I guess we're all going out.
Great.
I'm not gonna go in.
Huh? Why not?
Because Kate is in there
and I don't want to see her.
-It's embarrassing.
-What's embarrassing?
Oh, I don't know.
This entire situation.
The fact that my high school
girlfriend is a freaking cop.
Okay. I can't.
Wait, you still like Katie?
I thought you only dated
communists now.
No, see,
you're past four girlfriends--
Boyfriends.
They're from Singapore.
Singapore is not
a communist country.
Can you just get out
of the car, please?
-Okay.
-[Tim] And leave it on.
I don't want to freeze to death.
Sure.
God.
Why does no one know anything
about Asia?
Okay, so you had the argument
over the, uh,
the wedding album
around midnight?
Well, uh, I mean,
it was hardly an argument.
Okay, but you just called it
an argument
a few seconds ago, so.
Well, it's-- I mean,
it wasn't like, you know,
anyone was throwing dishes
at each other's heads.
Uh-huh.
Alright, well, we can file
a missing person's report.
Okay, but you know,
you have to wait 24 hours
before you can do that.
No.
I guess that's just
something from the movies.
Uh, oh.
But, uh, anyhow,
it sounds to me that
most likely your mother left
on her own volition.
Are either of you worried that
your mother presents a thr*at
to herself or to other people?
Poses a thr*at to herself?
Like su1c1de?
[Kate]
Yes.
I mean, Kate, it's--
it's the holidays.
I think we're all
feeling a little suicidal.
What?
[Kate]
Alright, look,
I don't want to overstep
any boundaries here,
but have you considered
calling your father?
Even just for some support?
[mimicks Kate's voice]
"Have you guys considered
calling your father?"
Yeah, great detective work,
Officer Kate.
I'm sure he'll be right out
here on the next Greyhound bus.
Oh, excuse me, Officer.
Sorry.
[sighs]
Yeah, she has no idea
what she's talking about.
No.
[sighs]
Well, she was
completely useless.
She wanted us to call dad.
Honestly, female cops kind
of weird me out in general.
No offense, Tim.
It's just
the small town female cops.
Not the big city ones,
but just the small town ones.
Don't you have one of those, uh,
"This is what a feminist
looks like" t-shirts?
Um, I don't know that I need
judgment from you right now,
Miss Everyone's-a-Little-
Suicidal-At-The-Holidays.
[Lucy] Ugh...
How you function
in a professional environment
is honestly beyond me.
[Lucy]
Okay, first of all,
I am pretty
sure there are statistics.
And secondly,
if we're all being honest,
it's not like mom hasn't--
Oh my God, Lucy.
That was a really long time ago,
and you know that she was
in a funk.
-[Lucy] A funk?
-[Cynthia] It's not like she's
g*dd*mn Virginia Woolf.
Maybe she's right.
-Who?
-Who?
No, not either one of you.
Kate.
About what?
Calling dad?
No. No, he's not gonna
know anything.
And besides,
I want to tell him--
I wanna tell him about
my promotion when I see him
in person next week.
A what?
Does-- what--
does that make you like...
partner?
[turn signal clicking]
No. No, that's--
that's still a ways away.
But...
Well, congratulations.
Thanks.
Hey, can you make
a right up here onto Spring?
I want to drive past
the Burnhams.
I didn't get to see the lights
last year.
[sighs]
Yeah.
[woman singing
"Silent Night"]
Silent night
Holy night
All is calm,
all is bright
Round yon Virgin
Mother and Child
Holy infant so
tender and mild
Sleep in heavenly peace
Sleep in heavenly peace
[door closes]
Mom? That's it!
[man gasps]
There it is!
[chuckles]
I got it!
-Man, I haven't seen
this thing in 30 years.
-Dad?
Oh hey, you know what this is?
This is my BB g*n.
My father gave this
to me in like 1967.
[chuckles]
Hey, I used to try to get
your brother Timmy
to sh**t squirrels with it.
He hated it.
He just wanted to go inside
and read those damn books
about the mice who talk
to each other. This is amazing.
You know, I feel like I'm gonna
find my record collection
around here.
Whew.
Dad, what are you doing here?
[Dad]
Well, your brother called.
So, I was up at 5:00
this morning.
I said, "What the hell?
I'll go see the kids."
Look at you.
You look so beautiful.
Did you-- have you lost weight?
You know, some women lose
too much weight.
You know-- what are you doing?
The Pilates? The Paleo?
Because everybody at work,
they're all just like,
"Ooh, Paleo, Paleo, Paleo."
I guess
I haven't eaten much lately.
So, uh,
no sign of your mother, huh?
-No.
-This place looks pretty
much the same, I gotta say.
You know,
new fridge though, right?
Boy, nobody hoards more
useless sh*t
than your mom, huh?
[both chuckle]
So, where are the other two?
Uh, sleeping?
Well, come on,
let's wake 'em up, huh?
-What?
-Nothing.
I'll wake 'em up, all right.
We'll go to the diner.
We'll get some breakfast, huh?
Hey, Timothy, Cynthia,
rise and shine, sleepyheads.
-Uh, Tim sleeps
in the basement now, dad.
-[Dad] Seize the day!
[Dad] But seriously,
how does a team go
from worst to first,
and then back to worst again?
It's unprecedented.
Do you get the games over there
in Singapore?
Oh, yeah. Get 'em all.
[chuckles] Huge fan base there.
There's millions of them.
[waitress]
Everything okay over here?
Actually, can I get
a chamomile tea, um, or mint?
[waitress]
Yeah, of course.
Um, could I have some
more water?
[waitress]
Mm-hmm.
-Is your food all right?
-Yeah.
[Dad] You're barely touching
it. In fact, you keep missing
that piece right there.
[chuckling]
[Lucy]
Yeah, why are you not eating?
I just have a stomachache.
[Dad]
You want any of this?
-No, but thank you.
-What?
-[Tim] What are you doing?
-Salt is good for you.
Mm-hmm.
Speaking of fans,
there's Pamela Herman.
She, uh, emails me about
the show from time to time.
I'm sorry, I interrupted you.
You were saying?
Oh, well,
just with this promotion,
I'm on track to make partner
within a few years.
Oh, that's amazing. Really?
[Cynthia]
Yeah, it's-- it's possible.
And since I'm not gonna
have kids
until my mid to late 30s,
it's gonna be a--
Okay, I'm sorry, but you guys,
shouldn't we be making a plan
or something?
I mean, mom's phone
has been off for 36 hours.
We can't just sit around
talking
about spring training,
and jobs,
and eating brunch all day.
I don't know
if I would call this brunch.
Alright,
let's start with the basics.
Is--
is your mother seeing anyone?
-You see her the most.
-[Lucy] Yeah.
I mean, no, I don't think so.
She hasn't dated for years.
Well, how is your mom looking?
I'm just asking,
'cause I think of her
as a beautiful woman.
I don't know.
She's not dating anyone.
I don't think it's that.
Speaking of which,
I'm seeing someone new.
Yeah, she's a veterinarian,
in fact.
She specializes in, uh, dogs
with liver cancer.
So, yeah, I mean,
the thing she talks about that
she pulls out of these dogs.
I mean, corgis with tumors
the size of a Schnauzer,
you know, it's un-- un invasive.
It's all anally.
-I mean,
she does it without any surgery.
-[Lucy] Dad, we're eating.
[Lucy]
Dad.
-Hi.
-[Lucy] Oh my God. Hi.
Dad, this is Mr. Tr--
Uh, Frank.
He used to be our gym teacher.
Yeah, I know.
Hey, good to see you.
Just wondering,
have you kids seen your mother?
I've been trying to reach her.
-No.
-[Cynthia] She's just out
and about
I'm sorry, what?
Why are you asking?
Huh.
Alright, well, just let her
know I-- have her call me
when you hear from her.
Thanks.
[Dad]
So, your plan for finding
your mother
is you don't let anyone know
she's missing even?
Ah, ah.
I highly doubt Frank Tropper
of all people
would be able to help us.
I mean,
they're not even friends.
Maybe they're more than friends.
Isn't he married?
Yeah, actually he is.
He-- he used to be at least
to the old art teacher--
-Yeah.
-Ages ago.
What was her name? Mrs...
-Tropper.
-[Cynthia] Something kind of
mysterious about him.
-Mrs. Tropper.
-That man is a w*r hero.
He-- he served in the Gulf w*r.
I remember,
because it was a back
to school night at Timmy's
and he and I chatted.
I really should know
more about the Gulf w*r.
Yes, you should.
In fact, for the amount of
money I spent on your education,
you should know
about all the wars.
You know, the Punic Wars,
the Peloponnesian Wars,
the Boer Wars.
Right, here's a layup.
What year did
the Vietnam w*r end?
Oh, well, that was obviously--
196--
'77.
When did the Titanic sink?
Jesus Christ, did any of you
graduate from high school?
-'73.
[Dad]
'75 to be technical,
but I'd accept either answer.
-[Dad] Oh my God.
-Yeah, fall of Saigon. And--
-the-- the French started it.
-[Dad] They allow people to
walk around
-so stupid these days.
-Yeah.
It just blows my mind. I--
I-- For God's sake, read a book.
Dad, I'm a lawyer.
We all read.
Well, apparently, you don't.
[Lucy]
So wait, are you on a diet?
We went over this,
it's a stomachache.
Alright, I'll take your car.
You girls ride together.
Tim, you come with me.
Love ya. Bye-bye.
Bye-bye.
I forgot what it's like
to drive.
I'm always taking cars,
you know, in the city.
This baby is nice.
Let's go, folks.
Well, that was kind of nice.
I really like that diner.
Um, what are you doing?
Uh, I want to go
to Frank Tropper's house.
Why?
Do you even know where it is?
Yeah, I think so.
He's in the-- in that red house
um, by the Andersons.
So, I'm thinking, uh,
maybe we should--
we should drop
by the ice skating rink.
Ice skating?
Yeah.
You think mom's been
at the rink this whole time?
Well, has anybody checked
the rink?
Um, I think he knows something
about mom.
Okay.
People bother me all the time.
Uh, what's gonna be different
at the ice skating rink?
I just-- I know that the girls
didn't wanna
draw attention to it.
You know,
the girls got a heavy dose
of the maternal crazy gene
in the family, you know.
Uh, you can't listen to
them as much as you do.
Okay.
If you say so.
Poop-a-doo-poop.
That wasn't the nicest thing
to say.
He's going so slow.
-Man, Frank Tropper. Remember?
-You think--
-Remember
when he used to make--
-You think he has like a gym?
[chuckles]
Like a couple of gyms.
Remember when he used
to make us...
climb that rope
for like 45 minutes?
-Yeah.
-I'm pretty sure
that's illegal now.
[indistinct chatter]
[Cynthia]
Yeah. Uh, yeah.
No, uh, we're uh,
actually heading into town
to do some holiday shopping
right now.
And, uh, Tim and mom are
already at the holiday market.
Lucy says hi.
Yep.
Okay, I will talk to you later.
I love you.
-Bye.
-Mmm.
Do you plan on saying anything
remotely truthful
to this person?
This person is Andrew,
as I've told you many times.
And we've been dating
for eight months.
And he is really, really smart,
and kind, and successful,
and handsome, and just normal.
And so if-- if I need him
to believe that
we are shopping for a juicer
and drinking eggnog right now,
I think that that is fine.
Okay.
You don't actually
think she's here, do you?
Playing messy backyard
with the town w*r hero?
No.
Ladies, hi.
[Lucy]
Oh! Mr. Tropper
[Cynthia chuckles]
You were good, you know, Tim.
No, I wasn't.
Oh, yeah, you were.
Yeah,
maybe when I was like four.
[chuckles]
[Tim grunts]
Here, let me-- let me do that.
-Come on.
-Dad, what are you doing?
Ankle support.
That's what you need, son.
That's what you need, right?
All the way around.
Yeah. Feel that?
[choir vocalizing
Christmas music]
Oh, there's Brian and Jim.
I'll see you in a while.
[Christmas music playing
over PA]
So the thing is now,
like Kosovo,
you can't even afford a condo.
-[Mrs. Baker] Tim, hi.
-Hi.
Is it true that your mother
is missing?
Lynn Kelleher just mentioned
that to me
in front of the bake sale.
Yeah, she-- I mean,
it's not like a CSI thing.
She just--
Just what?
Um...
You know, entering midlife is
very hard on a lot of women.
Oh, where is my son?
You wouldn't know Jack,
right, Tim?
No.
Jack!
Jackie!
He wants to work
in a network this summer,
any network,
so I was hoping to talk
to your father.
You know, I'm gonna go skate
over to your father right now.
What a treat to have him here.
Jesus Christ.
[Mrs. Baker]
Oh, hey George.
Oh, here's trouble.
-[Mrs. Baker] Hi.
-Wow.
-[Mrs. Baker] Oh.
-[George] Oh.
[Mrs. Baker] It's so good
to see you.
[George]
Hello.
So, how are things?
Well, I actually just ran
a half marathon.
[Frank]
Oh, that's good.
Alright.
What's going on?
Are you dating our mother?
Well, Lucy,
that's difficult to classify.
[chuckles] Before you're, oh,
I don't know, 45,
maybe you expect everything
to be cut and dry, right?
Because it seems to be
cut and dry for everyone else,
but then you loosen up a bit.
Sooner the better is my advice.
Your mother
and I are very good friends.
Sometimes, we--
[clears throat]
So, do you have any idea
where she is?
[Frank]
No.
See, what I've done is try
to tell your mother
that she has some unrealistic
demands of the world.
Hm, what does that mean?
Oh, you know,
just too much energy
wishing that we were people
we're not.
For what?
See, I tell her,
you put that energy on me,
if you like.
Like, sexually?
A hug is a very powerful thing,
Cynthia.
Usually, she comes over,
makes chili, we read,
watch a movie.
Okay. Well, um,
it's really good
to know that she has a friend.
[phone buzzes]
Okay, Tim is calling me,
so I-- I gotta take this.
It was really nice to see you.
You too.
[footsteps]
You fear her happiness
is out of your control.
Huh. Excuse me?
[Frank]
I said...
you fear her happiness is out
of your control.
It is.
Alright. Um...
[Frank]
If you feel guilty, Lucy,
it's probably,
because you weren't kind.
I mean, but it's hard
to be kind all the time.
I mean, it just takes
a tremendous amount of energy.
Hmm.
Not quite as much energy
as the, uh,
cleanup of unkindness,
but energy nonetheless.
I'm pretty sure you--
you're contradicting yourself.
Yeah, probably.
[Cynthia]
Hey Luce, we need to go.
I hope your mother's okay, Lucy.
Good luck.
[Country Christmas music
playing over PA]
I work at the museum.
[exhales]
I mean, we call it the museum,
it's just a brick building
in a state park.
I forgot my jeans today, so.
I'm lying.
I'm just too f*cking lazy.
[chuckles]
I sleep in this sometimes.
[chuckles]
I'm Bogie.
Carol.
Oh, I'll tell you
the holidays, man.
You got family?
[Dad]
People sing songs
of good cheer
Christmas is here. Hey, kids!
Kids, come on in here.
The bubbly is open.
Merry, merry, merry,
merry Christmas
Merry, merry, merry. Come on in.
[Cynthia]
Is that mom's apron, dad?
Come on, it's Christmas Eve.
Why does it smell good in here?
Let's put our phones down
for a minute.
Have a little bubbly, shall we?
-What is he wearing?
-There you go.
-A little something for you.
-It's-- it's mom's apron.
A little something
for the bearded guy, huh?
A big one for Lucy.
There you go.
Alright, come on,
it's Christmas Eve.
Let's have some fun,
for God's sake.
Right?
Yeah, I was just digging
through that refrigerator.
Your mom was expecting an army
or something.
There must be food
for about 20 in there.
Dad, shouldn't we just wait
for--
[Dad]
Oh no. Silence on that, right?
Your mom is fine,
I promise you, okay?
People used to get out
of town quite frequently
-back in the day, you know?
-What?
[Dad]
Your mother, she'll be
back before you know it.
We gotta stop all the sulking
and just cheer up a little bit,
huh?
But dad, what about the cruise?
[scoffs] Screw the cruise.
Lucy can go on the cruise.
The cruise won't go to waste,
don't worry.
Oh, thanks, dad.
[Dad]
Alright. But you know what?
I need some helpers.
I need some elves.
I need somebody peeling
potatoes right away, right?
We need a little Christmas here.
Then I got the real, uh,
napkins out, the cloth ones.
I need somebody
to set the table.
You keep your eye on that ham,
make sure it doesn't dry out,
and make sure
my glass stays full.
But in the meantime,
let's have a little fun tonight,
for God's sake.
It's Christmas Eve.
I'm with my kids.
[glasses click]
Merry Christmas.
[all chuckle]
I'm only 35.
I don't even think about it.
[Cynthia]
You never think about it?
-[Lucy] Old man.
-[Tim] No.
I just think that you're
going after the wrong type.
-[Tim] Oh, you do?
-Mm-hmm.
I think that you need someone
with pep.
-Pep?
-[Cynthia] Mm-hmm.
Yeah.
-Somebody who could kind of...
-Pep.
...break you out of, um,
whatever--
-Whatever--This.
-[Tim] What?
-[Tim] What?
-This going on.
-[Lucy chuckling]
-[Tim] What's going on?
[Cynthia]
Yeah.
I think-- I think
what Cynthia is trying
to say is that, you know,
maybe there's something
happening here
that is not clear.
[Lucy chuckles] What?
Tim just needs someone with pep.
-That's it.
-[Tim] Stop saying pep.
[Lucy chuckling]
What is pep?
[Cynthia]
Pep is like--
is like those-- those people.
-[Lucy] People with pep.
-People.
People with pep are people
who are in a coffee shop--
And they're like tough,
but they're also happy,
and they're really excitable.
[Lucy]
Yeah, like one of--
one of those people
with like all the tattoos,
-on the piercings.
-[Cynthia] Yeah.
And they're like--
they're like,
"I have a double sh*t of latte
for two."
-[Cynthia chuckling] Exactly.
-[Dad] Ooh.
Do they have these
people of pep in Singapore?
[Tim]
Hipsters?
Yeah, we have hipsters, dad.
[Lucy and Cynthia chuckling]
[Cynthia]
Yeah, but in all seriousness,
guys,
I really want you both
to just kind of go
towards happiness more,
and I feel like
you deserve that.
I know that it's-- it's harder
for some people than others,
but... I feel like
you make choices,
and then things happen the way
that they're supposed to.
-[Lucy] Aw.
-And it's sort of like your, um,
inalienable right.
Yeah, freedom of speech,
religion,
and happiness.
-Yes.
-[Lucy] Awesome.
We want that for you, too.
[Cynthia]
Well, I have a boyfriend.
-[Tim] Oh yeah.
-[Lucy] Do you?
His name is Andrew, guys.
[Lucy chuckling]
[Tim]
He's really taking one
for the team.
Well, Cyn,
that was a beautiful sentiment,
and, uh...
-[Cynthia] Thanks, dad.
-...if we want any dessert,
maybe we could clear
these plates,
and we'll bring it out, huh?
[Cynthia]
I won't need dessert for once
in my life.
-[Dad] I will take that
from you.
-Thanks.
[Dad]
Do you know
who was a great waitress?
Your mother.
Yeah, I met her
at Meier's Tavern.
[chuckles]
I knew-- I knew
I was onto something.
One night she gave me
like 20 tater tots.
They were only supposed to
give you,
you know, like a dozen
or something.
-Yeah.
-I knew I was in the--
in like Flynn then.
-[Lucy] I'm going to
the bathroom
-I'll take that from you.
I don't know if
I've heard that story, dad.
[Dad]
Well, I won't tell it again
if I know me.
You know, 20 tater tots
is not that many tater tots.
I mean, I guess that's true.
I don't really understand
what he's talking about.
[Cynthia]
You know, Andrew's parents
are still married though.
-[Tim] Who?
-[Cynthia chuckling]
We have a crisis.
We're out of eggnog.
I'll get it.
[Dad]
Thanks.
Hey, everything's gonna
be alright, okay?
[kisses]
Thanks, dad.
-Thanks--
-I'm gonna get my coat.
["Ain't It Good"
by Paul Rosevear playing]
Well, time ticks by
The clock don't lie
People change
Behind their eyes
[engine starts]
Some love grows
And some love dies
-I don't think so.
-[Cynthia] Okay.
-[Tim] Yeah.
-[chuckles]
[Tim]
The sweaters.
I realize
That when I think of you
I get happy deep inside
Whoa
Ain't it good to be alive
Ain't it good to be alive
Well, the days are long
And the years just fly
And it's hard to hide
You've got a worried mind
[Lucy sings along]
And when I think of you
I get happy deep inside
Oh
Ain't it good to be alive
Ain't it good to be alive
Oh my God.
[turns off music]
Hi.
Hi. Is everything okay?
Yeah. [exhales]
Not really.
Are you judging me right now
that I'm not out there
with a dog
and a flashlight searching
for her?
Well, you don't own a dog.
And, no, I know your mom.
I'm sure she's just--
Okay, how do you know my mom?
Like from
when we were little kids?
You don't really know her
that well.
Actually, I've been home
a decent amount these days.
She's a good lady.
I mean,
she's a little out there.
Don't get me wrong.
A little?
[chuckles]
She's totally nuts.
Like, what the hell, mom?
-Yeah.
-You're f*cking serious?
[sighs]
[chuckles]
It's not funny.
I don't know.
You're the one laughing.
It might be.
[chuckles]
I'm sorry. Oh my god.
Yeah, why? [sniffles]
It is, I doubt,
violent parent bashing is,
you know, your thing.
Oh, come on.
My dad can be such
a selfish prick sometimes.
Used to be a prick.
I always liked your dad.
But you didn't really know him.
No, he-- he was.
If he wasn't busy driving off
to work in the morning,
he'd drive me to school.
And he always played this
Tom Petty CD on the stereo.
And-- and one morning, he--
Well, I looked at him,
and I said,
"Tom Petty is overrated."
And he pulled the car over
and he hit the brakes hard.
And he looked at me
like he wanted to hit me.
-[Lucy] What?
-No, he never did.
But like,
the guy loves Tom Petty.
You know, I don't blame him.
I love him, too.
I grew up on his music.
I just wanted
to get a reaction out of him.
And he didn't talk
to me for a week.
-Geez.
-Oh, I miss him.
Christmas.
[Sam] Ah.
[kissing]
[thuds]
[chuckle]
Oh. Um...
[Sam]
Yeah.
[Lucy]
That's--
Sorry, that's my dad's ringtone.
I should probably...
[Sam chuckling]
Hello?
Hi!
Um, yeah.
I know, I, uh--
I just ran into Sam McGrath.
Yes, from across the street.
Uh yes, I'll invite him over
for a drink.
Okay.
Yeah, yeah. Okay.
Thank you.
Bye.
Thank you.
I have to get eggnog.
Great.
You coming
to the mini-mart with me?
Yeah, I'll go back in.
[Lucy]
The track?
[Tim]
Yeah, what-- song? Song.
-5... 4...3.
-Song track? The song.
I have the song--
-Yeah. Okay.
-2... 1.
-No!
-Ah, it's time.
World's angriest man.
[Lucy] On to Cincinnati.
-No talking!
Bill Belichick! Bill Belichick!
Sam. Look alive.
-A magician?
-[Sam] No.
Singer, singer, singer.
Wow. Ow!
-[Tim] She had her own show.
-She had her own show?
Tyra Banks?
-[Tim] One time she dressed up
in a fat--
-Yes! Yes! No, that's it!
[cheering]
[Cynthia]
Chicken into the oven.
Cymbals. Cymbals.
[mimics sounds]
-[Lucy] Okay.
-Ah.
When the president
does it, it's not a crime.
Um...
[Tim] Is that Peter Pan?
-[Lucy] He's saying goodbye.
-[Cynthia] Oh yes!
-[Lucy] He's saying goodbye.
-[Dad] 1970-
-What's another word for a Nixon
-saying goodbye?
-[Lucy] He's giving up.
Resigning
[Swing Jazz music playing]
[Tim]
Oh, uh.
Oh!, uh, uh.
-She broke her leg. Um, uh...
-[Lucy] Yeah.
-[Cynthia] Time is running.
-[Tim] No, can we stop--
-[indiscernible speech]
-You're fully explaining it now.
-[Tim] I'm not saying the name!
I'm not saying the name!
-You're fully saying the clue.
-[Tim] I'm not saying the name!
-Oh my God.
-I'm not saying the name.
-[Cynthia] Yes, you are.
[Tim]
Who is Donkey? Who is--
No, no, no.
[Tim]
Dad, you're up.
-Oh, no, no. I, uh--
-[Tim] Come on.
I'm just an impartial judge.
[Tim and Lucy]
Dad. Dad. Dad.
Oh, oh. I-- this is easy.
-[Cynthia]
Lucy has terrible hand
-It's-- okay.
[Tim]
Go.
[Tim and Lucy]
Two word, movie.
[Cynthia, Sam, Tim and Lucy]
Home Alone!
-[Sam] Wow, wow.
-It's that easy.
[everyone chuckling]
-Wow.
-Was that--
Family has-- oh, thank you.
Was that too intense,
that game?
Your family knows how to...
[chuckles]
I've had a few.
Your family knows how
to have a good time.
-Yeah.
-Wow.
Even-- even
Cynthia's having fun, actually.
What other family traditions
am I in for tonight?
[both singing]
Go tell it on the mountain
Over the hills
And everywhere
Go tell it on the mountain
that Jesus... The Jesus?
The Jesus
-Jesus.
-Yeah.
Christ is--
Born
[Lucy]
A Jesus Christ
[both]
Is Born
Um, okay.
Wild shepherds
[Cynthia]
Okay, let's do this.
["Santa Clause" by The Sonics
playing]
-[Tim] Just lift with your back.
-[Lucy] Lift with your knees.
[Tim]
Lift with your back.
Lift with your back.
Yeah, Santa Clause
Where have you been?
I've been waiting, yeah
Just to let you in
Yeah, Santa Claus
What you got on your back
Is there something for me
Inside that sack
I want a brand new car
A clangy guitar
A cute little honey
and lots of money
Santa Claus
Won't you tell me please
What you're gonna put
Under my Christmas tree
I'm here just
Seeing nothing
Nothing
[music playing inside the house]
[light bulb buzz]
[chuckles]
Oh no. That was fun.
I like you, Carol,
you're good people.
Thanks.
Hm.
-I like it here.
-Yeah.
Yeah, me too.
See, being alone
at Christmas isn't so bad.
Right.
All the people I work with,
they feel sorry for me.
I--
They don't say it,
but I can sense it,
I know they do. But...
it's just
for a couple days a year.
-Yep.
-What I like...
is that
I don't have to deal
with anybody else's bullshit.
It's always my f*cking mother,
my g*dd*mn sister-in-law,
wah, wah, wah.
[Christmas music
playing over PA]
What's wrong?
Did I make it sound depressing?
I lied.
I have three kids.
[chuckles]
Grown-ups, but um--
What do you keep in touch
with them?
They're all at my house.
[chuckles]
What?
So, first of all,
forget everything I was saying,
don't listen to me.
All that sh*t
I was saying before
was just
to make myself feel better.
Being alone f*cking sucks.
[chuckles]
If we wanted to be alone,
we wouldn't be talking
to each other right now.
-[man at bar]
It's good to see you.
-[glass breaks]
Don't give him another.
Come on, he's supposed
to be driving me home.
-No way.
-Mmm.
Carol.
You didn't ask,
but I'm gonna say it anyway.
You should go home if you can.
Or at least go someplace nice.
This place is a sh*t hole.
I mean, it's my sh*t hole,
but it's a sh*t hole.
[piano playing]
[music stops]
Hi.
I had a great time last night.
Me too.
Um.
[clicks tongue]
I promised my mom I'd do gifts
with her this morning,
-so I should probably head back.
-[Lucy]
Right, right, right, right.
Um, but afterwards you
and I can--
It's okay, honestly I--
I just--
Maybe I can take you out to,
uh--
[chuckles]
[Lucy]
Honestly, Sam, it's okay.
But you don't even know
what I'm about to say.
I'm so-- I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
What were you about to say?
Let me know if you hear
from your mom.
[sighs]
Oh my God.
[choir vocalizing]
[car door closes]
[Mrs. Baker]
Merry Christmas, Lucy!
We were just coming back
from church
and I thought we would stop by,
so Jack could meet your father.
Uh, oh.
I'm-- no, I'm sorry.
He's--
he's not available right now.
Well, he and I spoke
at the ice rink yesterday
and I definitely think he
should be available.
He told me to stop by.
Uh, has your mother decided
to turn up for the holiday?
It was nice
to see you, Mrs. Baker.
Uh, listen, Lucy.
I don't blame you for having
a bit of a childish attitude
right now.
I mean, your mother has created
quite the situation for you all.
Can you just please
leave us alone?
Excuse me?
I said get off our property!
Mom, come on, let's--
No, Jack.
We have a coffee date
and I don't care
how some uncivilized women
may have raised
their children to be,
but where I come from
you welcome people
into your home.
Hey!
[classical music playing]
You heard her, lady.
Get the hell off
our frickin' property.
[Mrs. Baker]
Oh my God, Timothy.
Is-- is that a g*n?
Yeah.
It's a BB g*n.
And I said scram,
you waspy bitch.
[Mrs. Baker]
Oh my God.
You're all heathens.
And your father probably
hates you.
And Andrea hasn't said hi,
by the way.
I think she thinks you're
a sad divorced weirdo.
-[car door closes]
-Just like your mother.
[BB g*n cocks, fires]
[gasps]
I am calling the police.
Why don't you go back
to China, you townie trash?
It's Singapore!
He lives in Singapore,
you bitch!
It's not even
a communist country!
[car engine starts, revvs]
Thanks for the backup.
Anytime.
[Lucy sighs]
You think she's gonna call
the police?
Oh, yeah.
Definitely.
[music stops]
[siren wails]
[sighs]
[steps falling]
What's going on?
Uh, Tim sh*t your BB g*n
at Mrs. Baker.
What?
She was insulting mom.
Oh, those two.
What does that mean?
One time your mother forgot
to pick you
and Andrea up at ballet class.
You were like 4 or 5.
And, uh, well, you started
to walk home
and World w*r III broke out.
What? What?
How come she forgot?
I gotta get back to the city.
Wait. Dad. Dad.
This is-- this is crazy.
You're not really leaving
right now?
Look I-- I got a job.
I got a girlfriend.
I got dinner plans I've had
for over a month.
Okay. Can--can't you just
at least wait
until mom gets back?
[Dad]
Lucy.
Nobody knows
when that's gonna be.
You said last night
you thought she was fine.
It's Christmas Eve.
You know I-- I don't know
with your mother.
I never have.
I hope she's okay,
but depression is no picnic.
You hope she's okay?
Dad, this is not--
it's not just depression.
Your mother
had a tough childhood.
-A lot tougher than yours.
-No.
Believe me.
You wouldn't even be here
with us right now
if she hadn't run away.
Everything is always about you.
You and your stinking TV show!
You're the one that's insane!
Do you even know any of
the details about our lives?
But she is the one
that raised us.
If she is so crazy
and depressed,
how did we all turn out
mostly okay?
[Dad]
Look, here's some money.
If you need any more
help with Tim let me know.
Let you know?
[Dad]
Yeah.
Why don't you just stay?
Because I'm not just gonna
sit here and wait around.
Alright?
I made my peace with that
decision a long time ago.
And you know what?
You gotta stop
waiting around, too.
Stop waiting around!
Move on!
Well, I'm glad you're
at peace, dad.
I put you kids through the
greatest schools in the world.
[sighs] I did my part.
You're not a child anymore.
[footsteps]
[sighs] f*ck.
Yeah?
Well, if everyone's gonna get
to give a little speech,
I'm pretty sure that I read
in a f*cking book once,
that actually that is
the only thing
that life is about.
Finding a bunch of people
you love to wait around with.
Where are you going?
Order up my car from
the end of the street.
I don't have to put up
with this sh*t.
Great!
Wonderful!
I hope your new veterinarian
girlfriend is over 40!
[screams]
[grunts]
Jesus! Get up!
Wake up!
Did you not hear anything?
Um, I don't feel well.
[Lucy]
Get up! Get up! Get up!
We gotta go find mom. Get up!
-[groans]
-We need to find her!
[Cynthia sighs]
Can you pass me that water,
please?
Oh my God.
Thank you.
[Lucy]
Are you serious right now?
[gulping]
Alright! Let's go! Let's go!
-[Lucy clapping]
-[sighs]
Where are we gonna go, Lucy?
You have no idea where mom is.
[sighs] Cyn.
I'm worried.
Come on!
You know what?
f*ck.
You better be pregnant
or something.
I'm on birth control, you idiot.
Well, 2 percent of the time
it doesn't work.
You know
that's why you're divorced
right?
'Cause you say crazy sh*t
like that to people.
[sighs] Whatever.
Sorry,
I'm not America's sweetheart.
Dad?
Tim?
I can do this. Oh.
Oh my God. That's great.
I know--
I know exactly where I...
Fine.
I f*cking don't know anymore.
-Anymore, anymore.
-[beeping]
-[car door closes]
-Of course.
Great.
Okay.
Yeah, I really want.
I think something just
fell off Lucy Rauleigh's car.
[sighs]
-Hey.
-Oh God, no, no, no.
No, no, Sam. Hi.
Uh, I just-- It's just.
Hi. It's not a good time.
-Right now.
-Hi. You dropped your phone.
-[indistinct chatter]
-[piano music playing over PA]
Well,
I always wanted to be Jewish.
[Sam chuckles]
It's never too late.
[chuckles]
[pills rattle]
So?
Um.
What do you think?
It's actually pretty
standard dosage.
-Hm.
-You, uh,
you've taken
antidepressants before?
Uh,
that's a very personal question.
No judgement.
I was on this stuff
a little bit after my dad d*ed.
And then I just decided
to be sad for a while.
Hmm.
Have you read anything here?
Uh, no.
It might be helpful.
I just--
I don't think it's right.
Do you mind if I give it a read?
-Okay.
-Yeah?
Yeah.
[Sam]
The last entry
was five days ago.
"Had to put entire quart of
ice cream down disposal.
No self control."
Oh my God. Mom.
[Sam]
Uh.
Uh, "June 5th.
Had another tense visit
with Lucy.
I don't understand
why she's so--"
No, no, no, no.
Mm, not that one.
[Sam]
Okay. Um.
Uh, December of last year.
"Am I in love
with Frank Tropper?"
Frank Tropper?
Our gym teacher?
Am I, uh...
What are you doing here?
Uh, well, let's see.
I work here now.
Oh, that's right.
Well, you look um...
[sucks teeth]
-Amazing.
-[Kate] Mmm.
Yeah. Yeah.
I've been getting
that a lot lately.
You look good.
Thanks.
[sighs]
So, what's going on?
[chuckles]
Well. [sighs]
Turns out
the Republicans are right.
The breakdown
of the American family
is destroying this country.
[sighs]
God, I'm sick of being so funny
all the time.
You're not that funny, Tim.
Come on.
[chuckles]
Don't make me cry.
No. I don't get to cry.
My sisters on the other hand.
Phew.
They cry whenever they want.
I mean if I was gonna cry,
this would be the place
to do it.
In jail.
Well, you're not actually
in jail, Tim.
-You're in a whole d--
-No, just let me be in jail.
Okay.
Okay.
You're in jail.
Oh man. Did you get married?
Yeah.
-I did.
-What?
I know.
I know him?
No.
Good.
Well, I'm glad you're happy.
Oh yeah. Well.
Who said I was happy?
-Hmm.
-No. I'm pretty happy.
I am pretty happy. It's...
-You sure?
-Yes, I'm sure.
I'm sure.
Me too.
Yeah?
Good.
You wanna like go have sex
or something?
Your office maybe
or a cop car?
No.
[chuckles]
-I'm sorry, no.
-Worth a sh*t.
But I'm gonna go see what
I can do to get you out of here.
-Okay?
-Okay.
Thank you, Kate.
Officer.
Officer Kate.
[sighs]
Oh God.
I gotta shave.
I don't know.
[sighs]
Hmm.
What?
Umm...
Read it.
[ice cubes clinking]
-"Sometimes I wish...
-Read it.
...I can get rid of everything.
Get rid of every possession
that I own, of all this weight
and find a way to start over.
Start over
and finally become her.
This elusive her
that I was supposed to be,
but never seemed to become."
Wow.
Oh my God.
-Oh sh*t.
-Where are you--
Just hide me.
-[Mrs. Baker] What?
-It's Susan Baker.
-[Mrs. Baker] Oh, yes.
-From this morning?
-Yeah.
-[Mrs. Baker] Yeah-- y-- yes.
-Should we sneak out the back?
-...the violent att*ck, Richard.
I did it. It was me.
Listen. I am gonna go
to the, uh, beach house
by myself and, ah,
you and Jack can eat out today.
-Okay. I think she's gone.
-Oh, good.
[both sigh]
Alright.
I know where she is.
20th.
One, two, three, four, five.
That doesn't--
That doesn't make sense.
So, I got everything here.
I get the satellite.
I can do, uh, this channel's
called "The Groove".
[Funk music playing
over car speakers]
Hey I got some mints.
You want some mints?
[sighs] Okay.
-[Sam clears throat]
-I have to go.
-[Sam] Um. Did--
-Oh.
[Sam]
Are you just gonna drive
to Susan Baker's summer house?
And how do you even
know that's where she is?
No, I--
We were there years ago.
Um.
And I will remember the exit.
Hey, do you want me
to come with you?
[kisses]
Thank you.
You have Vodka Martini?
[phone ringing]
[driver]
Oh.
It's my stepdaughter.
I gotta take this.
So, I usually don't answer
the phone
when I've got customers
in the car, but I--
Hi, sweetie.
Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
I-- I know.
I know.
I'll be home in a few hours.
Okay?
Yeah.
Yeah, we can go
to the movies tomorrow.
Alright.
Love you too, honey.
Merry Christmas.
[chuckles]
Sorry about that.
Gotta answer for family, right?
Family first.
Phew.
Hey could you turn
the car around?
[driver]
I beg your pardon?
Could you turn the car around
and drop me
where you picked me up?
[driver]
Is it something--
'Cause we've been driving
a while
-and I-- it's important to me.
-Please.
Just turn the car around,
alright?
[light orchestra music playing]
[music crescendos]
[cries]
[footsteps approaching]
[Cynthia sobbing]
What?
Is it your mother?
What? No.
I don't know.
What?
I'm pregnant.
[Dad]
Oh.
Wow.
Oh, sweetie.
Wow.
Were--
You have a boyfriend?
Yes, dad. His name is Andrew.
-I've told you that.
-Andrew.
Good. It's good.
[sighs] No.
No, it's not good.
-It's not good.
-What?
Um, do you love him?
-Yeah.
-Mm-hmm.
[clears throat]
I hate you.
Aw.
I hate you and mom.
You've ruined my life.
[chuckles]
[cries]
Where-- where's Lucy?
Wait. Lucy's gone now, too?
Of course, she is.
[sighs]
Look, uh.
You're what?
Twenty-nine now?
You don't even know
how old I am?
I do.
Yes, I'm 29.
Your mom was only--
your mom was only 25
when she had Timmy.
You're gonna be fine.
No. No,
I don't want it to be fine.
I want it to be normal.
I want
to have a normal engagement
and then a normal wedding.
Just because you have that stuff
doesn't mean it's gonna work.
You know, look at you.
You were a mistake.
And you're my most-accomplished,
best-adjusted child.
[sniffs]
You think I'm accomplished?
Yeah, I do.
[cries]
Yeah.
You're gonna be just fine.
[Cynthia sobs]
This isn't how my life
was supposed to be.
Tell me about it.
[engine revving, tires screeches
[melancholy piano music playing]
What in the hell?
Are you following me, Lucy?
I have golf clubs
in the back seat.
-You can't go in my house,
-I'm not--
you psycho.
You can't hurt me.
My mom!
[Mrs. Baker]
I am not your mother.
I know you're
not my g*dd*mn mother.
What are you doing?
God, stop!
Lucy! Stop!
Ow!
Lucy! Come on!
What are you doing?
Don't!
Stop!
Lucy! Stop!
Stop!
Lucy! Lucy! Lucy!
Look!
[panting]
Carol?
[sniffles, sighs]
[both scream]
-Yes.
-[Mrs. Baker] Remember we--
why we had to put it there
in the first place.
Yes.
It was like 15 years ago.
-[Mrs. Baker] I know.
-[chuckles]
[Mrs. Baker]
Oh, we're so old.
Oh, hi.
-What is so funny?
-Oh, Lucy.
Well-- well, we were just
laughing about how...
-Mom.
-...none of our kids
can stand us.
What are you?
-And then we--
-Who would have thought?
What are you doing
in this house?
I, uh,
I thought you were dead.
I have some Chinese food
in the car.
I'm gonna go get some Chinese.
[footsteps]
Oh, dammit.
[sniffles]
[breaths heavily]
I--
[Lucy cries]
Are you wearing
Susan Baker's bathrobe?
Um, yeah.
She-- she had two in the closet.
They're so soft.
God.
I think it's silk.
[sniffles]
Mom. Mom.
I thought you drowned yourself.
Lucy,
I'm not going to drown myself.
I'm not going
to k*ll myself, Lucy.
[sniffles]
[sighs]
Oh God.
I just didn't want to wake up
in the house anymore
with that feeling.
I-- I just, I couldn't.
-I just--
-That feeling--
The feeling between us?
[sighs]
Mom, I don't know why...
[sniffs]
...I-- I'm so mean to you.
I mean, I mean, I know.
It's fine, Lucy.
It's fine.
And I will get rid
of the wedding album.
You took it back out
of the trash?
Well, yes.
[both chuckle]
Oh my God.
Of course. [chuckles]
It's okay.
You can keep it.
[Mrs. Baker]
Ta-da!
Thank you.
-Thank you, Mrs. Baker.
-[Mrs. Baker] Fortune cookies.
Your favorite, right?
Sorry, I broke into your house.
Yeah, me too.
You know what?
It's alright.
Did you actually go
swimming in the ocean, Carol?
I took a dip.
-[Mrs. Baker laughs]
-I did.
It was amazing.
[sniffles]
Well, I mean, it was horrible,
but--
I felt so much better.
[Lucy clears throat]
I think we should do it.
Like hold hands
and run into the water together?
No.
Ah, Lucy.
Absolutely not.
[yelps]
Oh my God.
f*cking cold.
Oh my God, that was awesome.
And then when you were born,
your sister used to always say,
"That's my baby."
Like,
"No, Lucy, that's your sister."
"It's my baby." Jesus.
[chuckles]
You-- you were her
favorite thing in the world.
Her toy, yeah.
And, uh, you'd start crying
and then she'd start crying.
-[door opens]
-It was great. And then...
-[Cynthia] Aw, Lucy.
-...your brother Timmy,
you know, he-- he'd come
-[Cynthia] He'd come--
-[door closes]
Well, speaking of which...
-I've been texting you.
-Hi.
Ah, yeah.
I saw those. Very sweet.
Um, has anybody noticed
a smoke outside?
-[Dad] Smoke?
-Outside?
-Yeah.
-Really?
Here?
Yeah, over in the corner
by the bush.
What?
-[Dad] Oh yeah.
-Where's my cell phone?
-Okay. Okay.
-[Dad] That's--
-This is fine.
-[Dad] That's substantial.
-[Cynthia] Fine.
I'm sure it's fine.
-Wha--
-[Dad] We should get some water.
-[Cynthia]
Tim, where's my cell phone?
-[Tim] Some water?
-[Dad] Get some water.
-We got a bucket or something?
-[Tim] I don't know where any--
Ah.
-[Dad] The vent goes out
the other side.
-[Tim] Where's--
-[Dad] You got a pot?
-[Tim] Yeah, I don't know
where anything is.
[Cynthia] Yeah, it's getting
a lot worse.
[Dad] This is good.
This is good.
-There you go. Use...
-Yes. Okay. Alright.
-...the potato pot.
-[water flowing]
[Tim] Oh my God.
This is the slowest...
-Where's my cellphone?
[Tim] ...faucet
in the history of the world.
Well, water pressure's
something--
-The whole house
will be b*rned down--
-How did this fire start?
When you buy a house,
get one with
good water pressure, seriously,
-to make your life better.
-What?
Did you put the lights up wrong?
-Like what?
-No, I put-- they're amazing.
This is the best house
on the block.
Okay, well-- That's why
they're on fire? Okay.
Those lights are 40 years old.
-I bought those.
-They're 40 years old?
Yeah, a lot of things are.
["Family Tree" by Paul Rosevear
playing]
[inaudible]
What is happening?
Dad?
Oh my God.
What did they do?
Don't cry
It ain't as bad as it seems
Sweet child
[Lucy]
Oh my God.
You're everything I hoped
you'd be
[indistinct chatter
in background]
And life...
Is everything okay?
Yeah, um,
I need to tell you something.
What? Um...
You were right.
[sighs]
About where mom was?
-Yeah, I mean--
-No, no, no, no.
I'm pregnant.
Can you just not say anything
sarcastic right now, please?
I don't think
that I could take it.
I'm very--
Aren't you glad you came back?
Cos I'm inside you
And you're inside me
You're gonna be such
a great mom, Cyn.
[chuckles]
On a family tree
This is something
I've never seen before.
I didn't even know
you two knew each other.
-what's-- what's going on?
-What's going on?
-[crying]
-Is someone dead?
-What?
-Nobody's dead.
Nobody's dead.
Tell me what-- what--
You can tell her.
-Tell me what?
-Cyn is gonna have a baby.
What? No way!
-A baby?
-What?
[indiscernible speech]
-A baby?
-[chuckles]
Oh my-- oh my God!
-[chuckles]
-How about that, huh?
Love you.
This is a great.
God, but you're completely
crazy, right?
Oh my God.
-We get to buy little shoes.
-Yeah. Yeah.
-[indiscernible speech]
-[chuckles]
It's the only way
To get back home
-Hey.
-Hi.
-I figured I'd stop by.
-Everything okay?
Mm-hmm.
Follow your Heart
Follow your...
Good?
Don't be afraid
When you don't see me
'Cause I'm inside you
-Hey. [chuckles]
-Hi.
And you're inside me
Merry Christmas.
We're all just leaves
On a family tree
[indistinct chatter]
[humming]
[humming]
[song fades]
["Christmas Eve in My Home Town"
by Eddie Fisher playing]
And there were carols
In the square
Laughter everywhere
Couples kissing under
The mistletoe
I can't help reminiscing
Knowing I'll be missing
Christmas Eve in my home town
Nothing can erase
The memories I embrace
Those familiar footprints
Upon the snow
There's so much to remember
No wonder I remember
Christmas Eve in
My home town
I'd like to be there
Trimming the tree there
And there's a chance
That I might
I can hear singing
Steeple bells ringing
Noel and Silent Night
Wise men journeyed far
Guided by a star
But though
I'm not a wise man
This I know
Through dreams
And just pretending
I'm there
And I'll be spending
Christmas Eve in
My home town
[song continues]
Wise men journeyed far
Guided by a star
But though
I'm not a wise man
This I know
Through dreams
And just pretending
I'm there
And I'll be spending
Christmas Eve in
My home town
Christmas Eve in
My home town
Merry Good Enough (2023)
Moderator: Maskath3