07x15 - Ah, Wilderness

[bunniefuu]

♪ Sunday, monday, happy days ♪

♪ Tuesday, wednesday happy days ♪

♪ Thursday, friday happy days ♪

♪ The weekend comes my cycle hums ♪

♪ Ready to race to you ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪



-♪ Happy and free ♪

-♪ Oh, happy days ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪



-♪ Share them with me ♪

-♪ Oh, baby ♪

♪ Goodbye, gray sky hello, blue ♪

♪ There's nothin' can hold me when I hold you ♪

♪ It feels so right it can't be wrong ♪

♪ Rockin' and rollin' all week long ♪

[Instrumental break]

♪ Sunday, monday, happy days ♪

♪ Tuesday, wednesday happy days ♪

♪ Thursday, friday happy days ♪

♪ Saturday, what a day ♪

♪ Groovin' all week with you ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪



-♪ Share them with me ♪

-♪ Oh, happy days ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪



-♪ Happy and free ♪

-♪ Oh, baby ♪

♪ These happy days are yours and mine ♪

♪ These happy days are yours and mine ♪

♪ Happy days ♪

Richie: okay, everybody, take a seat.

We have to talk about our spring vacation.

I've got something to say,

And we might as well get right to it.



-Okay.

-Now, I've been examining the situation

-

-

Rich, rich, I want you to meet my new friend.

We're an item. She's new in town.

Richie: oh, hi.

It's very nice meeting you.

I'm richard cunningham.

[Lisping] nice to meet you.

I'm susie simmons.

Don't you love that, rich?

Isn't that cute, huh?

I don't really talk like this.

[Normal voice] just six more months,

And I don't have to wear the retainer.

The gap's almost closed.

[Lisping] see?

Fellas, fellas, fellas,

I'm tryin' to talk to you about the trip.

Every year, I go where you guys want to go.

Last year, you dragged me to chicago

To stare at the playboy mansion.

The year before that, you drive me to oklahoma

To visit mickey mantle's mother.

Yeah, wasn't that great?

We really met her and everything.

We're taking girls with us this year, ralph,

For the first time, and I got a terrific idea.

Let's hear it.

Yeah. I think we should go camping.

Oh, you mean like in a cabin?

No cabin.



-What do you mean, no cabin?

-Lori beth: no cabin?



-No cabin. Tents. Tents?!

-Potsy: ugh!

Yeah, we're gonna rough it.

Oh, it's gonna be great

-

- Fresh air...

[Inhales deeply] god's country.

Wait a minute, rich.

What do we know about camping?



-You know nothing.

-That's right.

I know everything.

So you just leave it to me, all right?

You guys don't have to do a thing.

I'll be the leader.

So, what do you think?

I don't like tents. What do you think?

Okay by me.



-Great! Oh, I'm real happy about that.

-Yeah!

Okay, you guys get some gear together.



-I'll go over to your house.

-Yeah.

We'll organize the whole thing.



-We're gonna need a lot of things.

-I guess we're going camping.

I got to get some mosquito netting,

Some snake

-Bite kits,

Nasal spray, allergy pills.

Rich, if we have a terrible time,

Just let it be known it's gonna be your fault.

Hey, fonz.

What is gonna be his fault?

Ah, rich talked us into going on a camping trip.

I'll see you later.

Nice meeting you.

Susie, it's time to go. Come on.

[Chuckles]



-Camping, huh?

-Yeah.



-That sounds like a kick.

-Yeah.

I think, you know, I've been cooped up for a year in that garage.

I think I'm gonna go with you.

Fonz

-

-

Hey, no, it's all right.

I can close down the garage.

Fonz

-

-

No, no. Come on. I'm gonna have a great time.

Don't worry about me.

Fonzie, I don't want you to come.

See, I knew it. I knew I would hurt your feelings.

You didn't hurt my feelings.

You didn't hurt my feelings.

[Voice breaking] I just want to know...

Why.

Well, fonz...

This may sound kind of silly to you, but I

-

-

See, I had this idea that...

I would be the leader.

If you went, why, you would take charge of everything.

I'm good in charge!

Besides, I happen to know more about this than you do.

Is that so?

Yeah. Tell me

-

-

Which side of a tree does the moss grow on?

Rich...who cares?!

I know what kind of berries are safe to eat!

I know how to take care of snake bites!

I could tell time with a stick!

All right, daniel boone,

Take me out to the wilderness, huh?

You be the chief, I'll be an indian!

You say, "jump." I'll ask, "how high?"

Yeah, you say that now,

But I got a hunch it's gonna change when we get there.

Oh, no, rich. Oh, no. Cross my heart and hope to die.

Stick a needle in your eye?

Stick a needle in my eye?!

Yeah, forget that. Forget that.

It's okay, fonz.

I'll tell you somethin', rich.

I'll tell you

-

-

If I don't have a good time

-

-

Ha, ha, ha

-

- It's your fault.

"I'll tell you somethin', rich.

"If I don't have a good time

-

- Ha ha ha

-

-

It's gonna be your fault."

I didn't say anything.

[Whistle blows]

[Whistle blows]

That sound could save your life!

That sound could cost you yours.

No, no. No, no.

That's how we stay organized.

Whenever the leader blows this whistle,

Everybody, rally.

Fonz!

The fonz don't rally.

You're chipping away at my leadership here, fonz.

Everybody, rally.

[Muttering] you can rally.

Okay, rallying, rich.

Good, good, good.

Okay, let's get those tents up!

♪ Sha laaaa ♪

Uh

-Huh. Uh

-Huh.

♪ Oooh ♪

We're done!

What?!

Rich, aren't they a little flat?

Yes, they're a little flat.

Then why don't you blow your whistle?

Maybe they'll rally.

Richie: all right, listen.

Ralph and susie are out there trying to get water and

-

-

[Screaming]

Ralph, what is it?

There's

-

- There's a bear! It's wild!

It's ferocious

-

- Teeth out to here!

Ralph! Ralph, where's susie?



-Who?

-Susie

-

-

The girl you went into the woods with.

I knew I stepped on something.



-Oh, there she is!

-There she is!

Oh, susie, susie!

Susie, susie, baby!

Don't you "baby" me!

You just ran right over me,

You sissy!

Oh!

Susie, I was really just trying

To clear a path for you.

Aw!! Oh, great, great!

I lost my girl, rich,

And it's all your fault.

You and your dumb camping trip!

Yo, chief!

Yeah, fonz?

What about the bear?

Oh, don't worry.

Ralph scared him away with his screaming.

You hear that?

[Whistle blows]

Rally!

Okay, we're off to a slow start,

But that doesn't mean we can't rebound

And have a wonderful evening.

We'll get a fire going, we'll have some dinner,

We'll sing some songs.



-Yeah.

-Yeah.

All I see in here are cans.

Where's the can opener?

"Potsie wotsie" brought it.

Oh, I didn't bring it. I thought you brought it.



-Awwww.

-Awwww.

Uh, "potsie wotsie"...

Yeah, fonz?

I don't mean to disturb

A very gentle moment like that,

But you know we're gonna open these cans

With your forehead.

Don't worry.

Richie and I brought hamburgers and buns.

You see? Now, there is organization.

Now we just got to get a fire going.

Potsie, you got the matches?

I thought cassie brought 'em.



-Awwww.

-Awwww.

Well, uh, anybody else have matches?

Hmm? Matches?

No matches.

Sticks! We got sticks!

Yeah, I can, uh

-

-

I can get a fire goin' with these.

You just watch.



-You can?

-Sure.



-Smoke!

-Yeah, look!

[Thunder crashes]

Oh!

Hit the tents!

The tents!

Hold it!



-I'm the leader!

-Aah!

Hit the tents!

[All screaming]

Fonzie: cunningham?

Richie: yeah, fonz?

I am not having a good time.

Smell those pine needles, huh?

Excuse me, fonz.

Aren't those woods just somethin' else

After a nice, cool rain?

I'm gonna k*ll him.

[Whistle blowing]

We're all here.

I'm just trying to keep a happy woods.

I'm gonna k*ll him.

Okay, let's hear 'em.

Give me all your complaints.

No dry clothes.

No dry blankets.

No dry wood to make a fire.

No dry sleeping bags.

A vicious bear roaming around.

Boy, you people are determined

To have a bad time, aren't you?

Ah

-Choo!

God bless you.

All right, all the women in the tents.

Get as warm as you possibly can.

We'll figure out what to do.

Go ahead, ladies.

Men, men!

Must we have all this complaining?

Do you think the pioneers had it any better than this?

No, but they're dead.

Let me tell you somethin'

-

-

I'm gonna make the best out of this situation.

That's all.

All right.

Blossom, get out here.

Ah

-Choo!

Yeah, bless you.

We're gonna take a wet nature walk

-

-

Just you and me

-

- All right, huh?



-Come here, baby.

-Ah

-Choo!



-All right, come on.

-Ah

-Choo!

Do you think maybe you could just stop that for a second, huh?

Ah

-Choo!

All right, all right. Get back in the tent, all right?

Ah

-Choo!

All right, give her a hankie, will you?

Give her a hankie.



-Excuse me.

-Absolutely. Right, fonz.

Excuse me.

I'm smilin', but I ain't happy.

I don't got no woman.

Well, that's a pretty selfish attitude.

Potsy: get him! Get him, fonz!



-Get him, fonz!

-Come on! Get him!

I'm goin' down to the highway.

I'm gonna find me a car.



-Let's go.

-Yeah, right.

[Whistle blows]

I'm gonna force

-Feed him that whistle.

Taking over, fonz?

Somebody has to, rich!

Somebody promised, fonz!

Don't you think it's a smart idea

To go to the highway and look for a car?

No, it's terrible survival procedure

To go wandering around in the dark woods!

And, remember, ralph said he saw a bear around here.

Are you gonna listen to him, fonz?

I made a promise.

I'm going in the tent now.

I came up here with a girl.

I'm gonna sleep with three men

Who smell like wet wool.

Before turning in,

You better police the area for litter.

This is your campground. Keep it clean.

Litter?!

The rain washed everything halfway to mexico!

Go police yourself!

You're

-

- You're all doing the right thing.

You're gonna feel much better

After a good night's sleep.

Okay, make way for the leader.

All right, don't make way.

I don't sleep where I'm not wanted.

[Chuckling]

[Singsong voice] lori beth...

[Chuckles]

Hi.

Hi.

[Chuckles] those crazy guys.

See, they won't let me sleep in that tent,

So I was wondering

If I could, uh, sleep in the girls' tent.

Rich, it's an ugly mood in here.

They're thinking of shoving bark up your nose.

Sleep tight.

Well, richard cunningham needs no tent.

I got a sleeping bag.

Yeah.

I can stay right out here.

I got everything.

I got the moon and the stars.

[Wolf howls]

I got wild animals.

[Thunder crashes]

I got the rain.

Rise and shine.

[Chuckles] what a beautiful day.

Yeah!

[Yawns]

Malph...

You snore somethin' fierce.

Well, it's the altitude, fonz.

You see there

-

-

Now, this is why we came camping, right?

Fonz, where's rich?

I don't know.

I haven't seen him since last night.

Didn't you guys let him in your tent

When it started to rain?



-No, we thought he was in your tent.

-No.

[All talking at once]

Hey, I found somethin'.

What'd you find?

Nothin', nothin', nothin'.

It's just an old sleeping bag.

Hey, uh, potsie,

Why don't you take the girls off there

And pick some lovely berries?



-What kind, fonz?

-I don't care.

Any kind of lovely berries.

Oh, right. Come on, girls. Come on, lori beth. Get your mind off rich.

I'm coming, too.

Malph. Malph, you stay with me, all right?

Fonz! I really like picking berries.

Some other time, malph.

I won't eat any till I get back.

Malph is stayin' with me, all right?!

Have lovely berries!

Why do you make my life so difficult all the time for?

What?

Let me ask you a question. You're in college, right?



-Yeah.

-What do bears eat?

This sounds like a good one.

I give up. What do bears eat?

What are you asking me for?

I thought it was a riddle.

A lightning bolt.

Right here.

Poof!

Fonz, what, are you worried about that bear I saw yesterday?

Forget it. Are you kidding? He's probably miles away by now.

Richie's sleeping bag.

That's right.

It's ripped to shreds.

That's right.

Malph, I'll tell you something.

I've seen bear tracks all over this place,

And I am a little bit worried.

Aaaahhh!!!

The bear's back! Mommy!

What's wrong?

Fonzie thinks richie was eaten by a bear!

[Indistinct shouting]

[Snaps fingers]

[Shouting stops]

Thank you.

You know, malph, I'll tell you.

I knew I could count on you to keep your cool.

That's richie's sleeping bag!

Oh, fonz, fonz, you don't think that richie got eaten by a bear?!

L.b., I don't know that much about bears, all right?

I don't think they eat meat.

No, but they may chew a little and spit it out.

We're not gonna panic, right?

We're just gonna stay cool.

It's the worst thing you can do is panic.

Shh!

You are shushing me?

That's the worst thing you can do.

No, no!

Something's movin' in the bushes.

I hear it, too

-

- Big, heavy footsteps.

Oh, I'm so scared!

Oh, fonzie, do something!

Yeah, I will, iwill,

As soon as I take care of the bear.

Hurry up, fonz!

It's getting closer.

Quick!

Hurry up, fonz.

All right, all right.

He's getting closer.

Hit him.

Ralph: careful!

[Thud]

Richie: ow!

Do bears say "ow"?



-Richie!

-Oh, richie!

Potsie: oh, richie's all right!

What happened?

Are you okay? Richie!

We've been looking all over for you.

What's going on?

I can't believe what you made me do.

I threw a rock at my best friend.

Oh, rich, I'm so glad you're all right.

Hardly all right!

We thought a bear ate you.

Yeah, your sleeping bag was ripped to shreds.

Well, I was gone all night.

It must've been after I left.

Oh! Oh!

Well, what are you wandering around for, anyway, huh?!

You had us scared to death!

You're just makin' more problems, rich!



-What a mess.

-[Indistinct shouting]

Hey, wait a minute! Wait a minute!

The man's hurt here.

No, no.

I deserve it.

Going camping was a crummy idea.

And you all said that if you had a bad time,

That it was gonna be my fault.

It's my fault.

Hey, rich, what is all this stuff?

Oh, that's just some groceries I bought.

Bought where?

Uncle marvin's trading post.

It's this place I found

About miles up over this hill over there.

Wait a minute. Let me get this straight.

You walked miles up a hill in the rain for us?

Well, I thought it was my responsibility

To at least see that you got some food on this trip.

Yeah, look what he got

-

- Mallomars.

All right!

Hot rod magazine.

You bought me a hot rod magazine.

Anniversary issue.

Anniversary issue.

You are so sweet.

Knowing how to shop

Doesn't make you a great leader.

Richie, why don't you come over here for a minute?

Let's talk, okay?

You're gonna find another rock to finish me off?

No.

Here, use this. Here.

Walk over here, will you?

I'll make some breakfast.

Food!

Blossom: let's eat.

Look, fonz...

Hold it, hold it.

You don't have to take me off here to the side

And try to make me comfortable

To tell me what I already know.

I'm a flop.

I was not gonna say you were a flop.

All right, so... You didn't know about tents.

You didn't call the weather bureau first.

You blew that whistle more times than you had to.

Was there anything that I did right?

You took responsibility.

Can you dig that? You took responsibility.

And I'll tell you something

-

-

You would have been a much better leader...

If we were better followers.

Fonz, that makes me feel real good

To hear you say that.

Great mallomars, rich.

Guys, sit down.

Potsie's gonna charcoal

-Broil us

Some pancakes.

Yeah, my specialty!

Al, I swear to you, I saw a bear.

He was wearing a whistle around his neck.

Chach, where would a bear get a whistle?

Hi, hi, hi, hi.

Fonzie: well, look who's here.



-Hey, al, chach!

-Oh, hey, al!

What are you doing up here so soon?

Well, I heard on the radio

You were having a big rainstorm,

So we decided to come and pick you up.

I'll tell you something, al

-

- We're doing great.

We're out here,

Mother nature's giving us a hug,

We're breathing this fresh air,

Potsie's making us a woodsy breakfast.

You see, al, we're tough.

We don't mind a little hardship.

Right.



-As a matter of fact, we love it.

-Yeah.

Well, it looks like they don't want to leave.

Yeah. Okay, we'll be back tomorrow night.

Come on, chach. See ya later.



-Bye!

-Bye!

Rich...

Wait up, al!

[Indistinct shouting]

♪ Goodbye, gray sky hello, blue ♪

♪ There's nothin' can hold me when I hold you ♪

♪ It feels so right it can't be wrong ♪

♪ Rockin' and rollin' all week long ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪



-♪ Happy and free ♪

-♪ Oh, happy days ♪

♪ These days are ours ♪



-♪ Share them with me ♪

-♪ Oh, baby ♪

♪ These happy days are yours and mine ♪

♪ These happy days are yours and mine ♪

♪ Happy days ♪