Where you goin'?
You almost k*lled me!
Stop!
Go to hell!
You shits! Dirty bastards!
I'll clobber you!
Shitty turkey!
Get down!
Get down, if you got the guts!
Get down!
Get back up, go ahead!
KAPUTT MUNDI
Which one?
Must be this one,
"The Islands" Condos.
Enzo, honey?
Are you there?
They were out
of red candles.
Get down, mutts!
That's two...
Darlings...
Rowena!
'Morning!
Use a glass!
Mom!
Why?
You're frying! How
can I go out now?
You're going out? You
haven't been out for a week!
Why tonight, of all nights?
- Stay home with us, Cristiano.
- Who's us?
Always the same people. You invited
all the doormen from around here!
You're with 'em all year,
why holidays, too?
Why?
What's the idea?
Giulia?
It's Mother.
Happy New Year.
Best wishes, Sweetie.
I love you, you're
always in my thoughts.
How come you're not home?
Aren't you preparing dinner?
Of course, you already have.
Did you get the stri ped bass?
And prepare it like I said,
with fennel seeds?
Eugenio...
Remember, we have to...
You there? It's Francesco.
Fiorenza's not coming,
she's got a headache.
- Lie!
- I hope it's all right!
I'll be coming, though.
See you later.
Giulia, you there? It's Lisa.
I don't know what to wear.
What are you wearing?
I'm desperate, call me.
- Hello Lisa...
- Enzo.
Giulia's not home.
How are you?
So so... What about you?
Tired.
I just finished writing
that report for the company.
About time!
About time.
What are you doing?
I've had it.
I don't feel like
coming tonight.
Neither do I.
She's in a dither!
She got up at six
to prepare the lentils!
We could have got them at the
deli. They're awful, anyway.
- What if I didn't come?
- No, it means a lot to her.
She'd take it hard!
You're going to
leave me alone?
Why don't we go to the
hot springs? Remember?
It'd be fabulous! We'll have
a swim, and at midnight...
I'll mount you like
a bull, in the hot tub
Same old pig.
- Wouldn't be bad, though.
- I know.
Well?
Quiet.
You know we can't!
Then come over here.
If you want me to come tonight,
come over right now.
I'm on my way.
Hurry up!
I'm there...
How much gas?
Twenty thousand.
Filippo! How are you?
Sure, just a second.
I'll give it to you now.
Hold on a second,
I got my hands full.
Here it is.
Via Cassia...
...1043.
Right.
The doorbell reads,
"Countess Scintilla Sinibaldi".
You've decided to come, then?
Fantastic.
Scintilla'll be in seventh heaven.
Gaetano!
Son of a bitch!
Hold on a second.
We'll see you at the party.
Damn you!
Coach!
- How are you?
- g*dd*mn, what a surprise!
Gaetano Malacozza the best
fullback in Purchiano Terme!
Where'd ya disappear to?
Not even a postcard!
We had our Christmas tournament.
- Where'd you finish?
- Last.
Really bad luck...
Ya left us three years ago,
and we haven't won
a game in three years.
Coach, why' re you
gotten up like that?
I'm the mascot. Don't ya
remember the turkey?
Your team's emblem!
Yer lookin' better than ever!...
A real dude.
- Look who's here, guys!
- Stop screaming!
- Hey, guys!
- Quiet!
Don't make me look like a jerk!
- Sorry.
- Wanna cry when I see ya.
Let's say hello to the guys.
I can't. I'm really
sorry, but I gotta go.
I've got an appointment
I can't put off.
Ya won't say hello to the guys?
They're happy just seein' ya.
Ya gotta have a coffee.
A drink, an aperitif.
Ya can't say no,
just to a coffee.
You know I don't
drink coffee.
- Sorry. I gotta go see my lawyer.
- Yeah, I get it...
They call 'em lawyers now!
I know what ya like, assh*le!
- Ya got a barracuda down there?
- Take your hands off!
Hands off, you're hurtin' me!
Go ahead, take off.
I won't tell the guys I saw ya.
If they saw ya lookin' like this,
they'd all wanna come to Rome.
Then who'd play for us?
Any way,
thanks for everything, stay well,
and Happy New Year.
Gaetano, your appointment book!
Right, put on the chain.
Ya never know...
Two thousand lire,
son of a bitch!
- Who's that guy?
- Nah, everything's cool.
Why don't we go
to the hot springs?
Remember?
It'd be fabulous! We'll have
a swim, and at midnight...
I'll mount you \
like a bull, in the hot tub.
Same old pig...
- Wouldn't be bad, though.
- I know.
- Well?
- Quiet!
You know we can't!
Then come over here.
If you want me to come tonight,
come over right now.
I'm on my way.
Hurry up!
I'm there...
Well? How are they?
Great, Ma'am.
Delicious.
How come there're
no anchovies?
Make you thirsty.
- Cristiano?
- He's in his room.
He's been in there since Christmas.
Why don't you tell him
to come out? Talk to him.
Try to convince him.
He won't listen to me.
What's wrong with Cristiano?
And the rest of you?
You're not on dr*gs, are you?
Grandpa!
Look, the woman up there,
she's naked!
- Where?
- There! Mrs. Giovannini!
- She's peeing in the living room!
- Go get my binoculars!
Michele, give me a hand here...
Coming!
- What're those binoculars for?
- We're watchin' the fireworks.
Here, Grandpa.
What a babe!
A big, humongous joint...
What is it?
Calabrian grass.
My brother gave it
to me for Christmas.
Nice gift!
Hallucinogen!
- Yeah...
- It'll blow your mind!
Make a filter.
With a Metro ticket?
It's gotta really draw.
Got the paper?
Be a nightmare if I
didn't have 'em, either!
We'd be up the creek.
Wait, maybe they're in here.
What's all this stuff?
Dynamite.
Dynamite!
My cousin gave it to me,
he works in Massa Carrara...
...at the marble quarry.
- What do you need it for?
We'll set it off at midnight!
You're off your rocker!
The big New Year's expl*si*n!
You know where we'll set it off?
At the lake near the
Japanese Cultural I nstitute.
They've got these Koi carp,
the coloured ones.
Those mothers weigh
Ithink they'll land at the
Modern Art Museum!
- Who is it?
- It's me, how's it going?
Oh, it's you.
- Am I disturbing you?
- Yes, a little.
- Anything new?
- Everything's fine.
Paolo says he doesn't want to
ski, he'll wait for his Dad.
I bought red Moon Boots
for both children.
Fine, go on spending
money on needless junk!
- Any snow?
- Lots. What about Cagliari?
Oh, right. No, all we've
got here is sun.
Excuse me, I'll be
there in a minute.
Sorry, am I disturbing you?
Actually, yes.
I have a briefing.
- I know, I'm sorry.
- Don't be silly.
Remember, I told you not
to call. We'll talk later
Call us, the kids want to say hello.
They're dying to see you.
- What. Floor?
- Fourth.
The Countess!
Crumpet!
Sorry, darling.
- Where were you?
- I went to see Dad.
It was important for him.
- How is he?
- Fine, he's playing cards...
They've prepared him
a New Year's dinner.
- What are you making?
- Lentils.
I love 'em!
Delicious. I got
these for you.
Lovely! I'll put them in water.
You must be tired, honey...
Just a bit.
Why don't you take a hot bath?
I need to unwind,
I'm a little stressed.
Stressed?
Work, my Dad...
Don't think about it.
I promised to help you...
Don't worry, everything's ready.
You sure?
Okay, Crumpet,
I'll do as you say.
Can I prepare you a drink?
That'd be great!
A Bloody Mary...
You know something?
When I left Dad
a while ago...
I felt... kind of empty,
leaving him alone, with
all those old-timers,
on New Year's Eve.
You know what hurt most?
Looking into his eyes,
they looked so sad and empty,
as if they were saying: "Go on, Enzo,
I've lived my life,
now it's your turn".
I think I'll go back
there tomorrow.
You know something, Gaetano?
I wish this music
would never end.
I'd like to stay here
in your arms all night.
I wish no one
would show up.
How well I understand, Scintilla.
Scintilla...
You know what I
love most about you,
what really drives me crazy?
What, Gaetano...
Your name,
Scintilla.
It's a name that...
Lights you up!
Lights my fire!
Good Evening!
Welcome to our live show
from Theater 10...
...for the last night
of the year...
We're here together
to celebrate these last hours
of the last night
of the year.
Are you ready?
Are you ready in Theater 10?
I'd like to know
if you're all ready at home!
We are, are you?
Yes.
- These Ascolan olives are great.
- They really stuff 'em.
They' re good, heh?
Look!
- You're missin' a tooth.
- Let's see.
Two years ago
I was at the "Flying Saucer",
at the crossroads of Casal
dei Pazzi and Scannaroli.
I used to have
"calzonis" there.
But that night, that
sonofab*tch Mario
started buggin' me 'bout these
stuffed olives from Ascoli.
Ya gotta eat 'em
because this, because that,
gotta eat 'em
because here...
Because there,
we got the point.
Finally, I tell him:
"Okay, man, lemme have
some goddam Ascolan olives,
'n stop buggin' me".
The first one!
Not the second or the third,
the first one!
Right off the bat!
A stone!
- He put a stone in there?
- He was havin' a little joke.
- What a sonofab*tch!
- Wasn't a goddam joke!
- He buys 'em frozen!
- With stones inside?
No, there was just one.
They forgot to
take the pit out.
- Rotten luck!
- Your first Ascolan olive?
Ya get it?
I wanted to clobber him,
but he started bawlin',
n' said it wasn't his fault,
never happened before...
So then Plinio...
Ya know Plinio?
I get it, ya don't know him.
Plinio, one o' my pals,
knows where it's at.
He told me to forget it,
n' gave me some advice.
- What'd he tell ya?
- To sue the guy.
He was right.
Sue which guy?
The guys who make 'em!
Where're they at?
Who knows where they're at?
Where the hell can they be?
Who the hell knows?
Where're the guys who
make Ascolan olives?
In Ascoli!
- He got it!
- No!
Where do they make
Ascolan olives?
In Macerata.
- What is it?
- A surprise, Dad
Open it.
Come on, Dad, open it!
Open it!
Is it for me?
Oh, my God!
You shouldn't have!
- Are they the ones?
- Yes!
They're the originals,
the first series!
How did you ever find them?
You like 'em?
I knew you'd like them.
Maybe I can still make it and
sign up for the Subiaco rally.
Here we are, 1043.
- How much is it?
- 47, 000.
Happy New Year.
Likewise.
It's me.
Come on up.
In Borneo, the sharks are
always hunting for food...
Holy sh*t!
Whatta ya wanna do?
We can always go to
that party in Genzano.
But that's where those
"Animal Death" dorks' re playin'
Or we can go to the
barge on the Tiber,
ya know, Fisichella's.
Well?
Good grass, right?
So what'll we do?
Ya just don't listen!
What's this stink?
We do the barge, then?
I don't know.
They invite you?
No.
I should've known.
What do you have, scabies?
Nobody ever invites you!
How many years have
we known each other?
Five, at least!
You got some disease?
Now that I think about it,
I never invited you, either.
Cover up those dogs,
that's what the stink is!
Put on your shoes!
You're not at home now!
...a real sweetheart...
He's my friend, great guy.
Get undressed.
Now?
Get undressed!
Right now?
Yes right now!
The guests'll be here soon.
I said get undressed.
I pay you!
What about those?
Well?
Where are my briefs?
I washed them
What do you mean?
I had to wash them,
they were full of woodworms.
What do I wear now?
Jesus, nine-thirty!
Who is it?
I'm opening up.
Is it open?
I'll k*ll you!
Wait...
Wait a second.
Help me.
What is it?
Take this thing off!
Just a second...
It won't go dawn, Scintilla.
Just a second.
Hold it, don't move.
You're dead!
My compliments,
you've done a beautiful job.
That salmon colour
on the walls,
lights everything up.
Did you ask a decorator?
No, my mother.
Your mother? Good taste.
Well?
I'm glad I came tonight
to celebrate with my old friends.
I was supposed to go to Norcia.
A friend of Gianluca's is
giving a party in a castle,
but I decided not to go.
- You think I did right?
- Would you like some salami?
That way I let him understand
that I'm independent,
that I can celebrate
New Year's by myself,
and that I'm not feeling bad.
- You' re not?
- No, I am feeling bad-
Not that much, just a' bit...
I'm a bit sorry, though.
Who knows what he's doing!
Maybe I should have gone.
Wake up!
Scintilla, wake up!
Goddam it, wake up!
Hold on, maybe
this'll wake you up.
sh*t, it doesn't work.
Wake up! Lemme listen.
Heart's still b*ating.
Wake up!
Just a second...
Outta the way, mutts!
Who is it?
Who is this?
- Goddam it!
- Who is it?
- What's wrong with ya?
- Who is this?
Whatta ya mean?
It's me, Trecchia!
How'd ya find me?
- What happened?
- Nothin'.
Stop screamin',
everything's okay.
You're the one who's screamin'.
Everything's okay
What the hell do ya want?
Your appointment book!
Ya forgot your appointment book.
Shithead!
Ya forgot it at the gas station.
That's why I called, you jerk!
- What're ya talkin' about?
- You're a sh*t!
Wait a minute!
Ya got some nerve,
with all this "shithead,
you moron. Damn you"!
I never wanna hear
about Purchiano Terme
and all you sh*t-kickers, dorks
e mafia hoods!
You got that?
So now I told ya!
I got ya.
- Ya sound a little bitter.
- That's right, I'm bitter.
f*ck you, too!
Who is it?
Who is it?
Slip it under the door.
Under the door!
We don't want any tears!
No long faces! 'Bye!
I don't want to talk about work.
Tell them about it, it's great.
All right, just a little bit.
But first, a question.
How many dogs do you
know in the movies?
Lots!
Don't kid around, I mean real dogs.
- White Fang...
- Rin Tin Tin!
- Lassie.
- Beethoven.
- 101 Dalmatians?
- Live dogs, no animated cartoons.
What do they have in common?
They don't talk.
The poodles in "Look Who's
Talking Now" talk a whole lot.
No, that's not it.
Can't you understand?
They're all loved.
All these dogs are loved
and cuddled by their masters,
the kids who play with them,
their grandfathers, their uncles...
It's the classical
Holly wood stereotype.
But there are millions of strays
abandoned on the roads,
because their masters don't know
what to do with them in the summer.
And people set up fights,
where they tear each other apart.
I wrote a script about this.
With Carmine Smilov.
- What films has he done?
- "Thieves of Life."
Well?
It's a difficult story,
and all the producers turned
it down, because it was too hard.
Spaventa was the only producer
who believed in the project.
Spaventa's kind of special...
I'm alive.
Khmer Rouge
finally released me.
Arriving tomorrow.
I love you. Eugenio.
Not now...
I'll tell it to you, but you've got
to promise you won't talk about it.
I n this business they'll
steal your idea in a second.
- It's sensational.
- You know this already?
It's the story of Cyrus,
a police dog.
- A German shepherd drug addict.
- He takes dr*gs?
No, they drug him,
so he'll need dr*gs, and
he'll look for it in luggage.
The first part of the story
is all about his training.
And then how he sinks
into total addiction,
when he's at the Ciampino airport,
trying to catch drug dealers.
I won't tell you everything
that happens next,
but at a certain point,
when he's become
hooked on heroine,
he decides to run off,
and regain his freedom.
He runs, for miles and miles,
night and day, day and
night, without stopping.
But he can't get the
monkey off his back.
- You mean there's a monkey too?
- No, it means throwing the habit!
- He decides to return to Ciampino.
- Just like Lassie!
Listen, if you all keep interrupting...
No, please, go on,
I really like this.
Eventually he stops
at some construction
site along the way
where he sniffs a whole pile
of lime thinking it's cocaine.
When he gets to Ciampino
he's having acute spasms.
And decides to k*ll himself.
He ends up dying of an
overdose after eating
a statue of the god Ganesh
stuffed with brown sugar.
In the final scene
you see Cyrus, dead,
among all those suitcases,
lying on the baggage-claim belt.
Only no one's going
to come to claim him.
Dad!
Michele, be careful!
It's beautiful!
It's perfect!
It's perfect now!
It's really perfect now!
No, the rear view mirror
isn't original, it's new!
What's that got to do with it?
They didn't have them before,
now they're obligatory.
- Let's go up, Grandpa's waiting.
- I've got an idea.
Why don't we all
get into the car.
And drive to Via
Veneto to celebrate!
You promised me
we'd set off the fireworks!
No, just think of all the cars!
We might get into a traffic jam!
You're right!
After midnight, we'll drive
all around the ring road.
Hooray! Hooray for New Year's!
Grandpa, we're doing the ring
road after midnight, all right?
No, not the "Depilady"!
Yes, the "Depilady"!
Someone rang, Sir.
What?
- Someone rang the doorbell.
- That's impossible.
Who is it?
I don't know!
Who could it be?
I'm going to see.
Quiet!
Quiet, understand?
- Who is it?
- Just one of the neighbours.
Her husband disappeared 10 years
ago. She's a real pain in the neck.
Let's go.
We'll continue.
It burns!
- Please, why are you doing this?
- Close the door!
Come on out!
We're having the cake!
- I don t want any.
- Come into the living room.
Tell your friend to come
too. I made cream puffs.
I don't want any, I don't like them.
I really love cream puffs!
What have you been doing!
What did you burn?
We didn't burn a thing!
Are you sure?
There's a burnt smell!
It's my friend's feet. Leave
us alone, we're going out!
- You're going out, then?
- Yes, we've made up our minds.
The fresh air'll do you good
Say hello on your
way out, be polite!
Okay!
We can't hang out in here forever.
She's wise to us, we gotta go!
- What's that?
- Ya fall asleep?
Enough of this, if we keep waiting
here, we'll all fall asleep.
Cool it, we still got an hour.
Why, what're we waitin' for?
I said it's too early.
Can't ya see?
No, I can't see.
Let's go, Augusto.
Jeez, it's cold!
I'm all stiff.
Did ya make it, Osvaldo?
Now we're talkin'!
Hey, man...
you ripped open the jacket!
Who's gonna tell Fausto?
Let's go.
The jimmy...
Oh, my God!
An ambulance...
Help...
File.
It's too big.
Put it in this way...
Look at what they do to
themselves on New Year's Eve!
She's sloshed,
we'll take the stairs.
You lush!
Ya like the sauce, right?
Stop it!
Crying won't change a thing!
Mother, what're
you doing here?
Whatever any mother would do
if she saw her daughter in trouble.
That's true, Mother.
You're right.
- Do you finally realize now?
- I feel horrible!
I've done everything wrong!
Stop feeling sorry for yourself
and get your act together.
You never change.
You're just like your father.
You're nearly thirty
and you still don't
know how things work
You have something priceless
the others don't have.
A mother who loves you,
and would give her life for you.
- I know.
- You've got to react.
You've got to show yourself and
the world what you're capable of.
Show that pig who you are.
He has to pay.
To pay, Sweety!
He's got to pay for his mistakes.
A little laxative's not enough.
But we can still make it.
Come on, let's get busy.
Let's begin the New
Year with a bang.
Your mother loves you.
Loves you, understand?
Where's the wine?
There should be some in the fridge.
No, I wanted red.
Here it is.
A nice Chianti.
Bravo, everything's great.
The lights.
Easy as eatin'
a stick of butter.
What're ya talkin' about?
So it's easy to
eat a stick of butter?
- Sure it is!
- I'd like to make ya eat one.
Did ya ever eat
a stick of butter?
No, it's a saying.
The saying's "easy as
drinkin' a glass of water"
I made a mistake. So what?
Easy does it!
I said easy does it!
Cool it, we gotta work.
Fishbone...
Come here.
I want to show you somethin'.
Jeez, what a place!
See?
Why didn't ya ever tell me?
It's fabulous!
Watch your head.
You hear?
Sounds like it's breathing.
It was built in 1894
by a Norwegian engineer,
a guy named Lars Fenning.
Look...
He called it "Heidi" in honour
of his dead daughter
Never misses a b*at.
They say he committed
su1c1de inside.
- Who?
- Lars Fenning.
He was desperate,
his life had lost all meaning
after his daughter d*ed.
Beautiful, huh?
Really beautiful.
The tenants complain
everyonce in a while,
they say they hear noises
coming from the radiators,
like a voice calling:
"Heidi..."
Yes, yes, the golden rain!
Just like that, the golden rain!
More, more!
All you've got!
That's wonderful!
You're the best!
What's she doin'?
sonofab*tch!
She's pissin' on him!
Say it to me...
They're good.
But to make it special you have
to use string beans, potatoes,
and then you've got
the real thing!
Gaetano!
I brought your appointment book!
I'm taking your check.
You can't go now,
and leave me here like this!
Sukia!
If you ever need
special services
sado-maso, bondage,
sh*t-love
and fetish,
just call me, my cell phone
number's on there, too.
Where are you going?
Untie me, please!
Sukia...
- Can I ask ya somethin'?
- Certainly
Why'd ya piss
on him before?
He likes it.
Guess what I found!
Solvent,
for paintin', for model makin'.
- It's a powerful hallucinogen.
- How do you know?
My cousin told me.
He was once really
hooked on makin' models,
then he became a hophead.
He used to sniff this stuff.
Said it was better than acid.
Always skeptic!
I hate ya!
Ya never believe me
when I tell ya somethin'.
Know how good this stuff is... Besides, it's New Y
Come on!
Let's sniff it!
Whatta ya got to lose?
One good sniff!
I'm gonna do it.
Should I?
Do it!
Where you goin' with that picture?
What, are ya crazy?
Have some manners!
Good evening.
Don Fefe', you tell 'em,
they' re ruining me!
Beautiful house!
What am I gonna do?
Trecchia, say something!
They're ruining me!
- What if she tells the cops?
- She'd better not.
Didn't ya see? She's
a real professional.
What do we do with
him? Do we k*ll him?
- No!
- How're we gonna k*ll him?
We'll suffocate him, we'll
cover his face with a cushion.
Where're ya gonna find a cushion?
Can't ya see this is an office?
- We'll take one from the couch.
- It won't work.
They're made of
leather, they'd slip.
You're right. What do we do?
We'll stuff his mouth, and
put two fingers up his nose...
How'll he breathe?
Through his ears?
Stop kidding around, you guys.
- I don't want to die!
- We're thinkin', take it easy!
Come on now... please...
Hold the phone!
Change of plans! .
I got an idea.
We'll blackmail him!
We'll take pictures of him!
If he doesn't pay off,
we'll send 'em to his wife.
- And we'll b*at 'em up
- Who?
Him!
- No pictures, please!
- And we'll b*at her up, too.
No pictures!
- It's a great idea.
- Great idea, huh?
- See whatta moron y'are?
- Ya don't like it?
We take pictures of him alone?
Wouldn't mean a thing.
We shoulda taken
'em with that broad.
Goddam, we let
her go away.
He's tied up though.
We coulda tied him up.
We shoulda taken 'em with Sukia.
We need a broad.
We gotta find one.
Countess?
Could you come out, please?
Countess, please come out!
Criminal bastards,
I always said so.
What is it Rowena?
What did they do to you?
- Help me, please.
- Whatta you want from me?
Help!
Call police!
You're right.
Enough, let's call 'em.
Easy!
Goddammit, pull!
Not you!
The pizzeria?
Who'll ya leave it to?
Phone calls, too!
Lemme have it!
I knew it!
Gimme the receiver!
No manners!
For a lousy phone call!
What'd ya do?
Take the onion!
You wanna make our
Gaetano look like sh*t?
All right, that's enough!
You can't do this.
I'll have you all arrested.
I'll ruin you.
You'll spend the rest of
your lives in jail!
You people are the dregs
of society, the pits.
You're nothing but thieves!
Oh, yeah? We may be
thieves, but you're worse.
You're a pre-vert!
Who's worse, us or the prevert?
He is!
Ya wanted to blind me?
Why?
Quiet down!
What is this stuff?
This munificent space
is provisioning us with wide
and ranging refreshments,
satisf ying all of us here,
and we know
it's a specialty place,
a verificable space,
one that is severely right!
I give a thank
to the Coach of all Coaches
the true innate son,
Pasquale Trecchia,
born of Nicola!
Gaetano, my love,
come to me!
Who's that?
Not even any paper!
It figures...
Look at you!
Greetings, Fishbone, I am...
I know who you are.
You're Lars Fenning,
the builder of steam boilers
How are you?
Fine, and you?
Very fine.
- And your daughter?
- She's here.
Heidi...
Hi, Heidi.
Are you tired?
A little.
I wonder how you do it.
The fuel will soon be gone,
do you know that?
So...?
Nothing.
Are you ready?
- Yes
- You're not concerned?
No, not a bit.
You don't remember me.
- Well, right now, I...
- Angela Coticone!
We were in the same
class at the hotel school
Then they flunked you.
- I never studied.
- You know something?
I can tell you this now:
I had a crush on you.
I used to spend the whole day
writing your name in my diary:
Malacozza...
And you never gave me a tumble.
How stupid of me!
Coticone, you know what...
There's a party on
a barge on the Tiber.
Why don't we go together?
Then I can show you all
the beautiful spots in Rome.
The Colosseum, St. Peter's,
Piazza Navona, Piazza di Spagna,
Piazza Bologna...
- Not again!
- I gotta talk to ya.
- I did somethin' bad.
- I know, you went a little too far.
- That's true, but I didn't want to.
- Well, you did wrong.
I did wrong, and that's the truth.
What do we do now?
Forget it, what's done is done,
any way, the Countess...
- Was in bad shape?
- Real bad, she drinks.
- She drank.
- She always did!
What do we do now?
Nothin', it's New Year's,
life goes on.
Yeah, out with the old.
Can things be worked out?
Don't worry about it,
go have a drink.
- You'll take care of it, then?
- I'll take care of it.
Hold it now!
He was always a great guy.
- I'll never forget this.
- No, just forget everything.
You're right. Maybe it's better.
I'll forget everything.
Show that pig who you are.
He has to pay.
He has to pay, Sweetie
- Enzo, darling...
- You finally made it.
The toilet paper was all gone,
I found these.
Give'em to me...
What the hell got into you
to make that fish risotto?
I want to go out, I can't
stand it here anymore.
- You sure?
- Yeah, I want to go out.
I want to celebrate,
raise some hell.
- It's great in here!
- How much time left?
- I don't know. Twenty minutes.
- Let's go!
We'll go now.
She's half dead.
Liven her up.
Let's go, doll.
C'mon, baby...
We gotta take a picture,
not make a painting!
No, no pictures!
Shut him up!
I can't concentrate.
I'm gonna hit ya
in the head again.
It's my wife, I'm sure.
She wants to wish me
a Happy New Year.
Let me talk to her, I
have to talk to her.
You don't know how she is,
who knows what she'll think.
- What do we do?
- Please, she'll be suspicious
Give him the phone.
Thank you, you're very kind.
Don't get smart,
or I'll strangle ya.
Don't worry.
I'm sorry,
but the children wanted to wish you
a Happy New Year. How are you?
- Fine.
- Where are you?
I'm in bed.
What a terrible New
Year! I'm sorry.
- You're telling me.
- Stop it!
Who is that?
Nobody!
Whose voice was that?
Nobody's.
- I don't know.
- I can still hear it!
- What are you saying?
- Tell me who it is.
- Nobody!
- There's a woman there
Don't be ridiculous!
I know, there's a woman there!
No, I swear!
Then who's there with you?
Do you really want to know?
Are you sure?
Well, then...
I'll tell you, if you insist.
My lawyer, Mastrantonio.
What's he doing
in your bedroom?
I'm consoling him.
He's crying, he's desperate...
Let me talk to him.
Leave him alone,
he's in very bad shape.
I said, put him on,
I want to talk to him
If you really want to talk to him...
I'll put him on.
Here,
it's my wife.
My wife wants to talk to you.
To me?
I know you're desperate, that
you don't want to talk to anyone,
but do me this favour, please.
Please...
I'll put him on now.
- Who is this?
- Good evening, Madame.
This is Mastrantonio.
I'm sorry,
but for a moment,
Ithought my husband...
I'm sorry.
I've been told you're very sad,
and I don't want to be indiscreet...
but what's wrong?
Well, I'm sad because...
If you'd rather not talk...
No, it's just that...
...a friend of mine...
Go on!
...was beaten up.
- Who did it?
- I'm not sure about his name.
But I do know that...
...these people...
b*at him up.
Poor man! Why?
How did it happen?
They didn't b*at him up...
...they just wanted to.
And then...
they knocked him out.
- Knocked him out? How.?
- They stretched him out...
...and cut off...
What?
- They cut off...
- What?
Go ahead, tell me!
My ass!
Yes!
I went to Nepal for six months.
- What did you do there?
- Nothing.
I was in a monastery,
meditating.
I meditated a lot, about who
I was, and what I wanted.
- And what did you want?
- Lisa?
- What is it?
- Something important to tell you.
- Can't you see, I'm talking.
- What happened to you?
It's important, please.
Excuse me.
You have to react.
You have to show yourself
and the world what you're worth.
Show that pig who you are,
he has to pay.
He has to pay, Sweety,
He has to pay for his mistakes.
Let' s get busy.
Let's begin the New Year
with a bang.
You gotta say:
"Happy New Year
and many happy returns".
Happy New Year,
and many happy returns.
Perfect, you seem
normal that way.
And then... real cool,
just normal,
you head for the door,
walk out, and wait for me.
Easy, right?
- Can you do it?
- Sure.
- Say it again.
- Sure.
No, the thing you have to say!
Happy New Year and
many happy returns!
Happy New Year...
and many happy returns.
Giulia knows everything.
- About the two of us.
- That' s ridiculous!
She does! Remember the
picture with the fish? It's gone.
- And the one of you she had?
- Are you paranoid?
I'm not paranoid!
She cut off the lights!
She made me wipe my ass with
the company report I'd finished!
Stop it, you're
delirious! Let go of me!
- Listen!
- No, you listen to me!
I'm not accustomed to making a
spectacle of myself! Calm down!
If a little f*cking had
this effect on you...
This is Lisa.
- What's that, Enzo?
I don't know what to wear.
What are you wearing?
- I'm desperate, call me.
- Hello, Lisa?
Sounds like an
answering machine.
Quiet, let's listen.
How are you?
- So so... what about you?
- Tired.
I just finished writing
that report for the company.
About time!
What are you doing?
I've had it!
I don't feel
like coming tonight!
Neither do I!
She's in a dither.
She got up at six
to prepare the lentils.
We could have got them at the
deli, they're awful anyway.
- What if I didn't come?
- No, it means a lot to her.
She'd take it hard!
Nothing happened,
give me that r*fle.
You mustn't think...
Give me that r*fle!
It didn't mean
anything at all!
...at midnight...
- I'll mount you like a bull...
It's not that way.
It's not the way it looks.
Everything's much more complicated
than you can even imagine!
So come tonight.
If you want me to come tonight
come here right away.
I'm there...
I gave you the
keys to my home.
I gave you my life, my
love, I gave you everything.
You took it all, you
even took my best friend.
And you?
What did you give me?
What?
I love you!
So do I.
Happy New Year, and
many happy returns to all.
Dad! I'm gonna start!
Relax, we've still
got 20 minutes.
the way just started.
Come here look!
What is it?
What are they doing, f*ring at us?
Not the Dodge!
You'll pay for this,
goddam nobles!
Grandpa!
Take cover behind here!
Careful!
Look at what you've
done, you idiot!
Clean it up.
Forget it. You're a dead loss.
Get out.
Take cover, Grandpa!
The lighter!
Help!
Help me, someone!
There's a madwoman here!
Happy New Year, and
many happy returns to all.
I'm going to smash
up that whore's Jaguar!
I'll help you, Dad.
- You feel up to it?
- Yeah.
Then go get the
baseball bat.
I'll cover you from here.
Thanks, Grandpa.
I want a quieter life,
with less stress.
I got a house
in the country.
Just a few kilometres
from Rome.
There are lots of animals:
hens, chickens, turkeys...
There's even a garden.
I grow things there.
It's biological.
You know, on cold winter mornings,
when you wake up in the morning...
...you can still
smell the fire.
There's the smell of milk soup.
Fantastic!
Why?
It was perfect!
We'll make that old bitch pay.
- We'll smash up her car.
- It was perfect!
I'll show you!
Bastards!
Bulldog?
Run! They're f*ring!
Stop this goddam music!
They're f*ring.
A b*llet whizzed right past me.
Stop.
What are ya doin'? Ya can't
do that, think a minute!
This isn't just any place,
it's a private home.
Put the TV down,
you can't do that.
I gotta do it!
I gonna smash it down there!
You'll pay for this, you bastards!
You won't get away with it!
Ugly bitch! My
Dad'll show ya now!
Fire, Grandpa!
What'd they do to me?
What'd they do to you?
Why?
Now... the animal!
My hand!
It got blown off!
God, that hurts!
Find my hand!
Happy New Year, and
many happy returns to all.
Giulia, darling?
Happy New Year!
Two minutes to go,
and I wanted to call you.
Happy New Year, Sweety.
Happy New Year, Mother.
How are things there?
Fine.
Did you follow my advice?
Yes.
You sound strange.
Everything all right?
Yes. I did it.
What? The striped bass?
I k*lled him.
I did what you told me.
What did you do?
Please, be quiet!
I can't hear a thing!
You see? I didn't let
him walk all over me.
I k*lled him.
What did you say?
I k*lled him.
What did you
say? Answer me!
Only one minute left
to the New Year!
Are you ready?
Yes!
I didn't hear you!
And you, Winnie?
Happy New Year, and
Many Happy returns to all.
Greetings to all!
Happy New Year, and
many happy returns...
Get on your knees.
Don't move, or I'll spray
your brains all over the wall.
Turn over the stuff.
- Hurry up, you black bastard.
- Okay!
I'll do whatever ya
say. Don't sh**t!
You can have the stuff.
Here it is.
Hophead.
You're just a hophead!
Here!
You won't get me.
You'll never get me!
Cristiano!
They're up to us!
The cops!
We gotta get out!
Cristiano, it's your Mom.
Let's block the door.
- They' re out there.
- It's not the cops.
They're really pissed off!
Listen to me! Don't open the door!
Let go of me, it's my mother!
It's not your mother, it's the cops!
They want the grass!
They can imitate any voice.
Even your mother's!
Cristiano, open up.
It's your Mom.
- Mom!
- It's not your Mom.
She's the spitting image,
but it's not her!
Wake up!
We gotta get away!
Wait.
Ten seconds to go.
We got the dyna...
Mom, look how beautiful.
Humanity's Last New Year's Eve (1998)
Moderator: Maskath3