01x16 - Family Squabble

[bunniefuu]

Hey! Feast your eyes!

That's the capital of the Holy Country of Millis.

Welcome to Millishion!

[GEESE] And with that,

I'm afraid this is where I leave you.

[RUDEUS] Huh? All the way out here?

At least stay until we get inside--

We'll see each other again, boss!

You don't have to miss me.

Then go.

But you better teach me how to cook next time, you got it?

Gods, you're persistent.

Why do you want to learn so badly, anyway?

'Cause, you know.

[RUDEUS] No, Eris, I don't.

Why don't you spell it out for me?

Come on, say it!

[GEESE] Anyway, stay safe, big guy!

You as well. Don't get into too much trouble.

[GEESE] No promises!

Oh! Almost forgot!

Make sure you swing by the Adventurers' Guild, okay?

Uh, yeah, can do.

[GEESE] See ya!

[RUDEUS] Listen up!

I hereby call this Dead End team meeting to order.

Clap, everybody.

[ERIS giggles]

[RUDEUS] Well, g*ng, it's been a year and a half since

Eris and I were teleported to the Demon Continent.

And we've finally, finally made it back to human territory!

Won't be long before we're home!

But if it's all right with you two,

I think we should stay put for a month or so

and pick up a few jobs in the area.

Seriously?

[RUDEUS] I've heard Guild jobs around here

are supposed to pay really well.

Saving up could solve some problems before they arise.

Especially considering we don't know yet

what the next boat is gonna cost us.

Aww! But I don't wanna take another stupid boat.

Since "Dead End" isn't a well-known name here.

I've got a new gimmick for

"Operation Help Improve the Superd's Reputation."

[RUDEUS] After we help someone, we'll reveal Ruijerd's identity,

and give them one of these figurines as a gift!

We can play it off like,

"These charms will calm even the most savage Superd!

In a few short minutes, they'll be like

a long lost brother from another mother."

You know, somethin' like that.

I didn't realize you'd made so many of these.

[RUDEUS] That said, I'd like to take tomorrow off!

Why, are you sick?

[RUDEUS] Oh, no.

I want to make a few more of these figures,

and I wanna write a letter before we get caught up in work.

A letter?

Yeah. I wanna write home to let everyone know we're safe.

[RUDEUS] I should have written a long time ago, honestly.

I just keep forgetting,

and it's not like I've had a ton of free time.

My family must be worried sick. I hope they're not mad.

Anything you wanna do?

As long as we have time, then I wanna go goblin slaying!

I hear they show up on the outskirts of town.

That sounds a little...

[ERIS screams]

[RUIJERD] She'll be fine. Just let her give it a try.

Uh... You sure, though?

Well, okay, then. Maybe you should go with her.

[ERIS] I think I can handle a few stupid goblins!

[RUDEUS] Talk about famous last words.

That settles that, I guess.

Go have fun tomorrow and I'll

see you both back here in the evening.

Works for me!

[RUDEUS] Follow her and keep her safe!

[RUDEUS] Come to think of it.

This is the first time I've ever written to Paul.

I wonder what he'll find harder to believe.

That I made friends with a Superd?

Or that I got a magic eye from

the Great Emperor of the Demon World?

[SMUGGLER A] Move it!

That's not good. Another kidnapping?

[RUDEUS] Must be a pretty lucrative industry

in this world. I would love to stay out of this

and not risk another exciting stint in prison.

But I don't think I have a choice.

I'm going.

[RUDEUS] Rule one of Team Dead End.

Never abandon a child.

Rule two.

Never, ever abandon a child.

We can't, we're the good guys!

That's how we'll clear the Superd name little by little.

[SMUGGLER A] You're sure no one followed you?

[SMUGGLER B] Yeah.

[SMUGGLER A] Are you okay?

[SOMAL] Uh-huh.

[SMUGGLER C] Hey, let the boss know we got him.

[SMUGGLER D] On it.

[RUDEUS] How many of them are there?

And how do I get that kid away from them?

I can't tell how strong these guys are by looking,

so jumping out and starting a fight

probably isn't the smartest option.

I guess I'll play the waiting game.

As long as they hold off on the v*olence, anyway.

[RUDEUS] I wonder what this hideout used to be. A church?

Looks like it's been abandoned for a good long while.

Hmm, cloth.

It's a bit too small to be clothing.

But something about it is oddly soothing.

I recognize this texture. This shape.

There should be... Yep, three holes.

[RUDEUS] Wait, these are panties!

Who goes there?

[RUDEUS] Gah, not good.

[SMUGGLER B] He's in the crate!

[SMUGGLER C] Show yourself!

[RUDEUS] Damn these cowards and their dastardly traps!

[SMUGGLER A] We've got an intruder! Call for backup!

[RUDEUS sighs] Here goes nothing.

[RUDEUS] Hear me, you foul miscreants!

How dare you snatch innocent children

from their families and make them

prey to your twisted lust!

That's called kidnapping!

You should be ashamed!

What the hell do you have on your face?

And who are you?

[RUDEUS] Who am I?

I am the great "Dead End" Ruijerd!

What was that? Did you say Dead End?

[RUDEUS] Sorry, Ruijerd, I just realized how this looks.

I will save the kid, though!

[SMUGGLER B] Go play hero somewhere else, ya little punk,

we're in the middle of something important.

[RUDEUS] Sunrise att*ck!

[SMUGGLERS scream]

[RUDEUS] Are you hurt? Hey!

[RUDEUS] Weird. This kid seems familiar.

[VIERRA gasps]

Whoa! What happened?

You better watch yourselves. He's young, but he's good.

That freak was in my laundry?

[RUDEUS] I am so sorry, Ruijerd. I owe you one.

[RUDEUS chuckles]

You disgusting perv!

[SMUGGLER D] That does it!

[yells]

[RUDEUS] C'mon, lady? I can't look away!

Right. Left. Look at 'em go!

[SHIERRA] Water Ball!

[gasps]

[VIERRA yells]

[RUDEUS] Oop, so close!

[RUDEUS] Whew. That was a close one.

Stop scuttling around like a cockroach! You deviant!

Just hold out and wait for the captain.

[MAN] Relax. I'm right here.

[RUDEUS] Huh?

What? He's just some drunk.

[MAN] No reason to g*ng up on some snot-nosed little brat.

[MAN] I'll take him down personally.

[RUDEUS] Huh. He seems really familiar to me, too.

But I can't place him to save my life.

[RUDEUS gasps]

[MAN] This jackass fights like he does.

[MAN yells]

[RUDEUS] What is he, a dog?

[RUDEUS gasps]

[RUDEUS] This guy.

[RUDEUS] He's way more intense than his lackeys!

[gasps] No!

[MAN] Rudy?

[gasps]

[RUDEUS] That's why he's familiar.

In this entire world,

there's only one man who calls me by that name.

He's my one and only...

[RUDEUS] Father?

So. Rudy.

Uh-- Long time, eh? It's good to see you.

Yeah. I guess.

I... I'm just amazed that you're still alive.

Oh. Thanks.

But uh, what are you doing all the way out here?

Huh? "What am I doing here?"

You saw my message, right?

No. I... I guess not.

[RUDEUS] Yeah. What the heck is he talking about?

I don't remember getting any message.

Then, Rudy, what have you been doing all this time?

It's kind of a long story, but just surviving, mostly.

[RUDEUS] If I have to break this down,

I might as well start with the mana disaster in Roa.

So, part one.

I'll tell him how I met my kindred spirit Ruijerd

and of the mayhem we made in the city of Rikarisu.

Part two.

The great mage Rudeus

crosses the vast Demon Continent,

righting various wrongs with the help

of loyal sidekicks Eris and Ruijerd.

Part three!

Our hero falls victim to a devilish trap,

and finds himself a helpless c*ptive

in the Doldia village!

I can throw in a little exaggeration for flavor,

but Paul doesn't have to know that!

I think I'll leave out the Man-God, though.

He is a pretty shady character.

Heh! In retrospect, the whole trip was actually kinda fun.

[RUDEUS] And then when we arrived in Wind Port,

the first thing that met our eyes--

[PAUL] All right.

[PAUL] I get the picture already, kid.

You've spent the last year and change playing around.

[gasps] No, we actually had a lot of trouble out there.

[PAUL] Oh, yeah? When?

You made it sound like one big walk in the park.

Obviously. I told the story that way on purpose.

And I realize I may have gotten a little carried away, but...

So. Tell me, why didn't you bother trying

to find out if anyone else had been teleported

to the Demon Continent, hmm?

[RUDEUS] Why didn't I?

There's really no good answer.

The only explanation I can give is...

[RUDEUS] I... didn't think about it.

I sorta had my hands full.

So you had plenty of time to help some demon you'd never met,

but you couldn't bother to spare a thought

for fellow victims of a magical disaster?

[RUDEUS] Maybe I got my priorities wrong. Fine.

No point in raking me over the coals about it now.

The thought genuinely never occurred to me!

What else do you want me to say?

You didn't look for anyone,

you didn't write, but what did you do?

You went adventuring with a cute little rich girl

like you were on some kinda vacation.

You two even had an invincible bodyguard with ya! Ha!

And then, the first thing you decide to do in Millishion

is put some panties on your head and pretend you're a hero?

Look, I didn't know where I was or what I was doing.

But I knew I had to focus on keeping Eris safe.

Can you really blame me

if I missed a few things along the way?

[PAUL] I'm not "blaming" you, kid.

Then why do you keep taking jabs at me like this?

Remind me, that Eris girl is Philip's daughter, right?

Yeah, of course.

I've never laid eyes on her, but I bet she's a cutie.

Is that why you never wrote to us?

Worried that all the extra bodyguards you'd picked up

might get in the way of your little love affair?

[RUDEUS] I told you already!

I didn't write because I just forgot!

Hey, Captain? Why don't you just leave it at that?

He is still a child.

This is between me and my son, thank you.

Please, sir.

You're the last person who should be

lecturing me about women, Father.

[PAUL] Huh?

I didn't go blind over the last year and a half.

And you two seem awfully close.

Do Mother and Lilia know about her, or?

No, they do not. How could they?

[RUDEUS] Oh, then you can be as unfaithful as you like!

That's quite an outfit you've got her wearing, by the way.

I guess I can expect a new little brother

or sister any day no--

Enough with the bullshit, Rudy!

Look at me.

If you made it here,

that means you had to have crossed through Zant Port?

So? What does that matter?

Don't play dumb with me!

[RUDEUS] I'm not! I really don't know!

[PAUL] Huh?

--Oh, yikes. --Was that magic?

You little--

No! What do you want from me? I did my best! Okay?

I was stranded in a totally unfamiliar place!

I didn't have anyone to turn to!

And somehow I managed to make it here alive!

Why isn't that good enough for you?!

[PAUL] You could have done better and you know it!

That's not true!

[RUDEUS] What is wrong with you?

You never used to look at me like that.

It's not fair, damn it!

[NORN] Stop it!

[NORN] Leave him alone!

Hey, Norn. Do you remember me? I'm your--

Stop bullying my daddy, now!

Huh?

[RUDEUS] I'm bullying him?

But... I...

Seriously? That's great.

[RUDEUS] Forget it. I'm out.

There's obviously nothing worthwhile

to see or do in this stupid city.

I'll go back to the inn and wait for Eris and Ruijerd.

Then we can get out of here.

Maybe tomorrow or the day after.

[PAUL] You're not the only one who got teleported.

Everyone in Buena Village was caught in the Calamity.

What did you say?

[PAUL] I left messages for you at the Adventurer's Guild

in Zant and West Port.

You are an adventurer now, aren't you?

Why didn't you read them?

While you were off enjoying your vacation, people d*ed!

[RUDEUS] Right. That mana expl*si*n was huge.

Why hadn't I thought of that?

Why did I think Buena Village was fine?

So, if everyone is missing.

Does that mean Sylphie, too?

[PAUL] Figures. You're more worried about your girlfriend

than your own mother, huh?

[gasps] Y-You mean you haven't found Mother, either?

[PAUL] No. There's no trace of her!

Or Lilia, or Aisha!

We've been looking, though.

For everyone who vanished.

That's the whole point of the Search and Rescue Squad.

Why would a search and rescue squad kidnap people?

[PAUL] Some of them had been sold into sl*very.

[gasps] Th-They what?

[PAUL] People were teleported without warning

to all corners of the world,

and a lot of them were taken advantage of.

Deceived and enslaved.

So we resorted to forced liberation.

[RUDEUS] Of course!

That was one of the kids who used to bully Sylphie!

I was so sure you had pieced it together

and started doing something to help a long time ago.

But not you. You were out sightseeing!

[RUDEUS gasps]

Okay. We can figure this out.

We both got a little emotional today,

but it's not our first fight.

Once I get him to calm down,

we can plan our next moves together

and it'll be like nothing ever happened.

So first thing tomorrow I'll go back to that bar,

and see if he...

[RUDEUS retching]

I'm back, Rudeus! Get a load of this!

After I was done slaying goblins, I got...

[ERIS gasps] Who was it? Who did this to you?

[RUDEUS] I'm fine.

You're obviously not!

So what happened?

I ran into my father this afternoon.

[ERIS gasps]

Did he say something to upset you?

Why would he?

You haven't seen each other in so long!

[RUDEUS] Well...

I'll m*rder him! Let go of me!

Don't interfere with family squabbles.

He doesn't deserve to be so miserable

after working so hard for us!

His father should be ashamed!

If he's miserable, perhaps you ought to comfort him.

[gasps]

Everything's fine. Okay?

I'm here for you.

I'm sorry, Rudeus.

I'm... not very good at this sort of thing.

It's okay.

You're doing great. Thank you.