01x10 - Green Queen

[bunniefuu]

[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]

All righty, all righty!

Welcome back, guys.

We are having quite a
time in the kitchen today.

We are cooking from The Wise
Guys Cookbook with none other

than our friend, our pal,
part of our extended family

since The Sopranos, we're
back with Vincent Pastore.

He's been cooking his heart out.

- [APPLAUSE]
- How are you?

- It smells fantastic in here.
- Yeah.

We have our meatballs
simmering in the sauce.

- Right.
- Natalie's recipe. Your mama's.

My mother's recipe all
the way from Calabria.

Beautiful. Beautiful.

They're so gently cooking in the sauce.

- Yeah.
- It smells fantastic in here.

And what are you working
on now, my darling?

What am I working on now? I'm making...

Oh, by the by, over the break...

he put a little wine in the sauce,

so we put a little wine
in the glass. Cheers.

[APPLAUSE]

[CHUCKLES]

Chin-chin!

Mm. So, Vin, you're going
to finish the antipas, yeah?

Yeah. I gotta take care of this.

Okay, so while he's
finishing the antipas,

we're going to move things along.

I'm going to do my best to
move things along by introducing

you guys to the "Green Queen".

The Green Queen is a new show
but it's actually two people.

We have the stars of
the new HGTV series.

It's a couple, and they're
turning their hometown

upside down with a new
approach to eco-living.

Say hey-hey to Whitney
and Asher Siegel.

[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]

Hi! [CHUCKLES]

Thank you so much for
having us, Rachael.

We are such big fans.

So, guys,

talk to me about how we're
all building our homes

or have built our homes incorrectly.

We're all wrong.

It goes as far as you guys saying

we don't need air conditioners.

I have a problem with this.

I am a sweater, okay?

I am a sweater. I pit out, all right?

I don't need an air
conditioner in, like, August?

Well, Rachael, you actually don't.

That is, if you have a passive house,

which is kind of like
living in a big thermos.

- Really. It's...
- I don't know that I could live in a thermos.

I have used a thermos

when we're in upstate New
York, where I come from.

I mean, it's cold there, so
I can have a little coffee

in the morning maybe, or some cocoa.

A little later in the day,
it's more like John's cocktails

- or some chilled vodka.
- [LAUGHTER]

- [APPLAUSE]
- [WHITNEY] Well...

No matter what you put in it,
your thermos doesn't need any

energy to keep the temperature
consistent and stable.

It works as well to keep the
cold in as it does the hot.

For example, our homes
don't have basements

because they're a giant thermal bridge.

That's where your home leaks.

- So...
- [RACHAEL] Huh!

Many people don't know how
bad basements are for energy.

So I'm still trying to
wrap my head around this.

If I lost my basement, I
couldn't hear my husband,

John, playing his Steinway
piano. That's where we keep it.

And we'd have to lose our gym

and we'd never sh**t
another game of pool.

Like, am I supposed to take
all of that out and, like,

literally fill the
basement with insulation?

Well, insulation can help,
but the best way is to just

build it from the ground
up using a foam foundation

- instead of a basement.
- Well, practically, we can't all,

your new viewers, right? We
can't all rebuild our homes.

What can we do?

Um...

Oh, well, for instance, we
have a timer in our shower

that automatically turns off
the water after five minutes.

So that's a really
simple way to save water.

Just taking shorter showers.

I actually am... am down with that.

We do do our part in a
lot of ways, I have to say.

Here at the show, we try and be mindful,

certainly of food waste.

We give our excess food
to the local pantries

and we use these cool
products. I love this product.

We keep our kitchen
clean with Josey Bamboo.

It's a compostable cleaning wipe.

These guys do not use harsh chemicals.

It leaves no residue.

And the reason I use them is
that they're safe around pets

and kids and, of course,
food contact surfaces.

We have a little bit...

We have a little bit of
your meatball mess over here.

- So I'm just...
- I didn't make that mess.

[LAUGHTER]

Yes, you actually did!

When you made the
meatballs, you actually did.

Okay, I made that mess
when I made the meatballs.

I know. I know. So we love these because

they are environmentally friendly

and they do a really great job.

So we use them to help us
keep the kitchen looking, well,

like I wasn't in it. I make
a way bigger mess, by the way.

So what's the trick to the
meatballs? They smell amazing.

Well, the problem is, on
Sunday mornings, right?

I come over and I grab a meatball

and I put it on a piece
of bread, like that, right?

- Yeah.
- Right? And then I'd eat it.

And by the time dinner
comes around, I'm full.

And, uh, the kids love
the meatballs. I mean...

That's what's most healthy about it.

- Right?
- [VINCENT] Yes. Yes.

[ASHER] I'll have to
get that recipe from you.

I'm gonna be chasing around
a little one of my own soon.

Oh!

Okay, so if we really
want to bring it home

- for the cookbook.
- Yeah.

Can I ask you to do one more thing,

- just 'cause I know you can?
- Yeah. What?

I really want you to
show your hidden talent

and kind of bring it home.

I do a little singing.
I was on Broadway.

[APPLAUSE]

[VINCENT] Yeah, you know,
my mother said when you,

when you stir the sauce, it's
always good to sing, you know?

Especially when you have somebody as,

- as lovely as you to sing to.
- Aw!

♪ So I love to make my
meatballs Sunday morning ♪

♪ I love to add a
little wine to the pot ♪

♪ I love to make my
meatballs in the morning ♪

♪ And, baby, you're so hot ♪

[RACHAEL SCREAMS]

- [APPLAUSE]
- ♪ She calls it sauce ♪

♪ I call it gravy ♪

♪ She's my baby and
she's driving me crazy ♪

- [CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]
- [RACHAEL PURRS]

♪ So, baby, baby ♪

♪ Spend your life with me ♪

Oh!

[RACHAEL PURRS]

Look at her! Your husband's
going to divorce you.

Oh, that's okay.

I got a place to go
with some good meatballs.

Yeah!

[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]

Oh, my God! You can find all
of Vincent's terrific recipes,

that he's been making with us all day,

- in The Wise Guys Cookbook.
- Wise Guys Cookbook.

And I got to tell you,
this is a labor of love.

- Yes.
- That reminds you of family.

It's like a scrapbook, you know?

And we'll have a link
through to our website

on any dates you have coming
up, whether you're singing

- or talking, yes?
- Yeah.

You brought it home big time, baby.

- I got it.
- I adore you. I adore you.

- [CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]
- [RACHAEL] Oh, oh, oh!

And of course, thank
you to the Green Queens,

Whitney and Asher.

- [CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]
- Please be sure

to check out season one
of their show, Green Queen.

It is streaming now on HGTV Go.

So you can watch it whenever you like.

We smell like wine and garlic
and we're happy about it

but we're going to go
take five minute showers.

- Not together!
- [RACHAEL LAUGHS]

Separately. Sure. Okay. Okay. Buzzkill.

Grab a snack, we'll be right back, guys.

[WHITNEY] Thank you so much, Rachael.

[CHEERING AND APPLAUSE]

[CAMERA OP] All right!

- Thank you so much.
- Thank you.

And, uh, so is this going to air today?

- Uh, Monday, 2:00 p.m.
- [WHITNEY] Mm, okay.

Do you think Rachael
actually watched the show

or she was just briefed on it?

- I'm sure she watched it.
- Do you know?

Do you know if Rachael
actually watched our show?

I know Rachael's very
busy, so if she didn't,

it wouldn't be personal.

- Can I get your mic pack?
- Yes.

I'm going to take your
microphone off now.

Do I have permission to touch you again?

Permission granted.

Hey, watch it, pal!

[ASHER CHUCKLES] I'm just kidding.

Okay.

It's interesting that she
didn't bring up the baby.

- I know. I teed her up.
- You did good.

- You did better.
- Maybe it wasn't in the sh*t.

Are you talking about your belly?

It was in the sh*t.

Oh...

- There you go.
- Oh, thank you.

I'm gonna take your mic.

Do I have permission to touch you again?

Yes.

Do you guys need any water
or soda water or anything?

Um, I don't think so but thank you.

- Okay.
- Thanks so much.

- Thank you again. Yes.
- [CAMERA OP] Thank you.

- Good job.
- [WHITNEY] Thank you.

- [CAMERA OP] Be sure and watch.
- [WHITNEY] Yeah, we will.

[SIGHS]

♪ ♪ ♪

[ASHER SINGS SHABBAT PRAYER IN HEBREW]

[SINGING CONTINUES IN HEBREW]

- ♪ Amen ♪
- ♪ Amen ♪

[SINGING CONTINUES IN HEBREW]

- ♪ Amen ♪
- ♪ Amen ♪

No phones. No phones.

Here, take some.

You have to eat it.

I am so annoyed that
we're not on actual TV.

And everyone I know says that

they can't find the show anywhere.

And now no one is writing about it.

I mean, it takes time.

I mean, we're doing a second season now,

and that's going to
involve the baby, too.

And, like the network said, you know,

that's going to grow our audience.

I mean, we just did Rachael Ray.

Rachael f*cking Ray!

Cara is being profiled
in the New York Times

for quitting art.

So quitting art is an art piece now?

It's interesting that she

has this big problem
with the evil collectors

"after" she didn't sell
anything in her show.

- Well...
- I'm just saying.

Maybe if you, uh,

quit this show and start
working at a massage parlor

they'll write about you, too.

I'd have to say it was a
statement on the Holocaust

or something. [LAUGHS]

[ASHER] Whit!

Okay, that was inappropriate,
but so was your joke.

You know, I know you're
just joking about...

how they said that her selling
her art to people was a form

of retraumatizing her but...

I mean, her people
have been through a lot.

And as an artistic
endeavor, I actually get it.

We all process tragedy in our own way.

Look at Mel Brooks.

I mean, when he came
out with The Producers,

Jews hated that movie.

But the film

helped us process the
Holocaust, you know,

because we thought it was a sad thing.

And it is a sad thing,

but it's also funny, too.

Or there's humor that
can be found in it. Um...

Because art, art is about...

Really, art is about...

Um...

I mean, sometimes you have
to go to extreme lengths

to make your point is...

- what I'm saying.
- Yeah.

I understand what you're saying.

I mean, I shouldn't
make jokes like that.

It's not, you know, I don't,
I don't have the experience.

I don't share the experience or the...

or the struggles of your history.

Hey, if you think for a second

that just because you
converted, you're any less

Jewish than I am,
you're dead wrong, okay?

Yeah.

You know, interesting fact.

There's almost the same amount
of indigenous people in the US

as there are Jews.

You know that?

Wow.

I got you something.

What?

Sort of a push present.

I thought we weren't supposed to do

baby presents until after they're born.

[ASHER] It isn't for
the baby, it's for you.

Well, you didn't have to do that.

I do deserve it but...

What are you doing?

Okay, clear some space.

- Move that out.
- Okay.

Thank you.

- Oh...
- All right.

- Take the cover off slowly.
- Okay.

What is it?

It's Questa Lane.

I'm giving it to
Abshir as a gift to you.

You're giving him a model of his house?

I'm giving him the real house to own.

To live in forever.

Why?

Well, I know we've talked about

having to move them out at some point

and I was thinking about that,

and I don't know, it just
didn't sit right with me.

So I thought...

why don't we give them the whole house?

Ash, that's so generous of you.

You're not a material person.

And I was searching for, you
know, push gift ideas online

and they were all
jewelry and stuff and...

It's just not you.

♪ ♪ ♪

What makes you happy is
other people being happy.

So the gift is their faces,

when we tell them about this.

And the model home is kind
of a memory of that feeling.

Can we afford this?

We're... we're not taking
money from my parents anymore.

We never did. Those were loans.

And...

if we go broke, good.

You know, because we
still have each other.

And...

I don't f*cking need anything else.

♪ ♪ ♪

We can always live in this little thing.

[BOTH LAUGH]

Toda raba.

Bevakasha.

[WHITNEY] Oh, look, it's them.

[LAUGHS]

I love it when you're happy.

♪ ♪ ♪

[SIGHS]

♪ ♪ ♪

[ASHER] Oh.

[WHITNEY] Oh.

[WHITNEY MOANS]

- [ASHER] You okay?
- Yep.

[WHITNEY PUFFS AND CLEARS HER THROAT]

[ASHER] Hi. How are you?

[ABSHIR] I don't know, man.
You call me up and you say

you want to talk to me and
I don't have time to prepare,

so I was wondering if I should
have my cousin here, you know,

if you want to move us out.

- My cousin is a lawyer.
- Oh. No...

I know you'd be nice
to me and all, but...

- I just wondering.
- No, no, no. Not at all.

No, no, no, you don't have
to worry about any of that.

Yeah, yeah. We've come
with very good news. Um...

Are the girls here?

- [ABSHIR] No, they're out.
- [WHITNEY] Okay.

That's too bad.

We wanted to share it
with all of you at once.

- [WHITNEY] It's fine.
- Yeah, it's okay.

You can tell them.

Abshir.

We don't want you to move out.

In fact...

we'd like you to stay here forever.

This home is yours.

You own it.

No strings attached.

A gift from us to you.

That's my spare key. You have it now.

You're on your own.

We'd also like to present you
with these clay nesting bowls

made by members of the San Pedro Pueblo.

For you. [LAUGHS]

Who pays for the property
taxes for the rest of the year?

- We could do that.
- We'd be happy to do that.

- Yeah.
- Absolutely.

[ABSHIR] Mm.

Who is that?

Yo!

Yo!

He's just a friend.

Uh, can I have the...

the money?

Uh, cash and then I'll pay.

It'll help my credit.

You want the... Oh,
for the property taxes.

Yeah, yeah, we can
figure all that out later.

But you own the home.

It's yours. How does it feel?

Good. Good.

How soon will the transfer happen?

When will I take possession?

I'm doing all the
paperwork with the city.

And so I'm going to submit that.

I just need a couple of
signatures from you, and...

Um... But I could probably
complete it all today.

Mm.

I know this is probably

pretty overwhelming for you.

I mean, with all the work
we've put into the property,

um, you know, it's probably
worth between 280,000

and $300,000, so...

Yeah.

But it's an honor to be
able to do this for you.

And, you know, we've gotten
so close over this time

that you really do feel like family.

Oh! He's crying.

- It's okay if you want to cry.
- [WHITNEY] So sweet.

- No, it's dust, it's dust.
- Okay.

Um, so you'll be back later
today with the paperworks?

Yeah. Can definitely do it all today.

- Sure.
- Yeah, yeah.

Yeah.

Okay. That's it?

That's it.

- Congratulations. Yeah.
- Thanks.

- Yeah.
- Okay.

Okay.

Oh.

[WHITNEY LAUGHS UNCERTAINLY]

Mm.

[CLEARS HER THROAT]

Ooh! [SIGHS]

It was really special.

Thank you.

I recorded it all so
you'd have the moment.

You did! Oh!

- Yeah.
- My cousin is a lawyer.

Oh. So I guess he didn't really respond.

That's okay, though. I
mean... Yeah, it's good.

I think... I think he was
putting on a strong face.

You know, we don't know what he's...

[SIGHS] What he's going through. He...

He'll process it...

in his own way, in his own...

- time, you know.
- Are you okay?

Are you okay right now? What's going on?

Yeah, I'm okay. I think it's just...

It's Braxton Hicks or something.

- It's just...
- Is the head turning down?

No, he'll flip.

- Okay.
- Closer to the date.

This is just... It'll happen naturally.

Okay.

- Okay.
- Okay.

Good.

Mm.

[SEATBELT LOCK CLICKS]

Ooh!

Ooh!

This is going to let
you continuously monitor

the pressure inside and
outside the baby room

so you'll know if there's a leak
coming from inside of the house.

But this side of the
home will stay passive.

And the baby room was
climate-controlled A/C, yeah?

Is there any way that we
could hide that panel a bit?

I use the house as a
showroom sometimes, so...

"Abatement" looks a little scary

and I just don't want
people freaking out

and thinking that passive
homes are bad for babies.

Are we going to tell people
it's a podcasting studio?

Are these homes not bad for babies?

- Then why are we doing all this?
- Oh, come on.

You're not a f*cking moron. Come on!

Is that all you got?

Whoop!

- Come on, man.
- Just till he's one, honestly.

- Okay.
- The summers have been crazy.

We're not going to gamble with his life.

I could hide the panel.

- I could hide it.
- Thank you.

Listen.

[AIR WHOOSHING]

Once all the air is released,
you could open the door.

- [IMITATES AIR WHOOSHING]
- Mm.

Oh, f*ck! I got a gift for the baby.

[HANDYMAN CHUCKLES]

- Ta-da!
- [WHITNEY LAUGHS] Oh, wow!

- It's to hang over the crib.
- Thank you.

He'll only have good dreams with that.

- Ah! Thank you.
- You're welcome.

That's so sweet.

Um, we are actually not accepting gifts

until after the baby is born, but...

- Oh, okay.
- It's so nice of you.

I understand.

I'll give it to you after he's born.

- [WHITNEY] Perfect. Okay.
- Okay.

Did we tell you it was a boy?

I think so.

I didn't... I didn't say anything.

Maybe I heard it in passing.

Okay.

- It's okay.
- It's fine.

- Yeah, don't worry.
- I won't tell anyone.

I'm telling everybody.

I'll be at the truck.

- Thanks, okay.
- Thank you for everything.

You're welcome.

Where the f*ck did you meet that
guy? That was f*cking insane.

- I just met him. I was...
- Okay, never again.

- Never again.
- He's not. He's fired.

- I'm f*ring him today.
- Okay. Thank you.

[ASHER SINGING IN HEBREW]

[SINGING CONTINUES]

♪ ♪ ♪

[SINGING CONTINUES]

There's a little me inside you.

♪ ♪ ♪

♪ ♪ ♪

♪ ♪ ♪

[MOANS]

Ash?

[ASHER] Mm.

Why are you up there?

[SLEEPILY] What you saying?

Here, what... what is happening?

Why are you on the ceiling?

- What's happening?
- Why are you on the ceiling?

[ASHER] I don't know.

Let me climb down.

[WHITNEY] I don't
understand what's going on.

What is this?

[ASHER WHIMPERING]

[PANTING]

We need to equalize the pressure.

- Open the baby room door.
- Okay. Okay.

Okay. Okay. Okay. Okay.

Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

Oh, my God! Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

[ASHER] Ooh. Ah. Ah.

[ASHER PANTING]

What the f*ck?

[ASHER PANTING]

[LOUD SLAP, AIR HISSING]

Oh, my God!

Okay. Okay.

- We need to open some windows.
- All right.

- Okay? And the front door.
- I don't want you to fall.

- What are you doing?
- I'm trying to move the bed under you.

No, I'll move over the bed.

Okay, just... Just open
that window right there.

Okay. Okay.

- [GASPS]
- [ASHER] Okay.

- sh*t!
- I'm over the bed.

- Okay.
- Now go open the front door.

- Okay.
- Okay, you've got this.

- Okay?
- Okay. Okay. Okay.

- Oh, God! Oh, God! Oh, God!
- This f*cking house!

Oh, God! Oh, God!

[GROANS]

Oh, no! Okay.

Is it changing in there?

You tell me if you fall.

[ASHER] I'm still up here.

Okay. Front door is open.

- Front door is open. Okay.
- Okay.

Let's grab a towel from the bathroom,

and you can use that
to pull me down, okay?

Okay. Okay, okay, okay.

- To dislodge me, okay?
- Okay. Yes.

- Okay.
- Okay. Good.

- Yeah.
- Throw it up. Fling it up.

No. You need to hold on to the other end

- and fling it up to me, okay?
- Okay.

Because you're going
to pull me down, right?

To dislodge me from, from whatever's...

I'm just going to throw it up
to you, and you drop it down

to me and just dangle it so
that I can grab the other end.

- Sure. Sure.
- Okay. Okay.

Go. Okay.

- Okay.
- Okay. I just want to get down.

Okay?

Don't be scared. Don't be
scared, baby. Here. Okay.

Okay, great. Okay. Let
me get my hand on it.

Okay.

[ASHER STRAINING] Uh!

- [ASHER PANTING]
- I'm gonna do it again.

[ASHER STRAINING]

[WHITNEY] Oh, God. Are you okay?

- I'm okay.
- Okay.

Come on. Come on. Come on. Wait.

- [ASHER STRAINING]
- [WHITNEY SCREAMING]

- [ASHER GROANING]
- [WHITNEY] Ah! Wait, no!

No, I want you over the
bed. Back up, back up!

Okay, okay. This isn't working.

- It's not working.
- You know what?

I'm just going to reach to you, okay?

- Careful, baby. Careful.
- I'm gonna be careful.

- I'm gonna be careful.
- Be careful.

- Oh, my God. Okay. Yeah.
- Okay?

Here, you can reach
me. Come on. Come on.

Reach down, come on.

- [ASHER STRAINING]
- Yes, yes, I got you! I got you.

I got you. Come on. Come on. Yes.

Yeah, I got it.

- [ASHER STRAINING]
- Good.

[ASHER] Good! Good!

I've got your back, under
your shoulders. Okay.

- Okay, give me your leg.
- What?!

Give me your leg. Okay.

- Give me your leg.
- Okay. Okay.

Okay.

[WHITNEY WHIMPERING]

Is it working?

- What's going on?
- I don't know.

- What's going on?
- I don't know.

- I don't know if I can hold...
- Oh! Oh!

Oh, God.

Ash, what... What is happening?

What is happening?

What is this?

You should stay away from me.

I don't want you to get
caught up in this, too.

I don't know what to
do. What do I do? Do I...

Should I leave the house?

- Yes.
- Yeah.

You got to get out.

We don't know where the
air pocket is though,

so make sure you're
grabbing onto something

with every step, all right, and
if you feel hot air, move away.

Okay.

Good.

Okay. Okay.

No. No.

♪ ♪ ♪

Okay.

[PANTING] Okay.

♪ ♪ ♪

♪ ♪ ♪

[STRAINING]

♪ ♪ ♪

[PANTING]

- Oh!
- [LOUD THUD]

Uh!

Uh! Uh!

[PANTING]

♪ ♪ ♪

Oh, Ash, Ash! I left my phone in there.

I want to call the fire department.

Can you reach it?

Hey, maybe I can just come
back in there and just grab it?

No! [PANTING]

Let me try.

Okay.

You stay where you are.

♪ ♪ ♪

[PANTING]

♪ ♪ ♪

[PANTING]

[FAST PANTING]

[STRAINING]

♪ ♪ ♪

[FAST PANTING]

[STRAINING]

Uh! Oh!

- [LOUD THUD]
- [ASHER GROANING]

I can't get it. It's too hard.

[SIGHS]

Okay, I'm coming back in.

No!

[PANTING]

It's okay.

[ASHER] No!

Don't come in the bedroom!

Grab the Dyson from the closet!

Okay.

♪ ♪ ♪

Uh!

Oh!

[LOUD CLATTER]

[WHITNEY PANTING]

Okay, I've got it

and I'm approaching the bedroom.

[ASHER] Okay, don't come in.

I'll come to you, alright?

Just hand it to me from there.

I'll need to stand.

No, no!

- What?
- Just get down!

No, but I don't feel any
air pockets around me.

- Maybe it's okay.
- No, no, just...

Just try from where you are.

- It's safer this way.
- Okay.

Okay.

Okay.

Uh! Ah! Ah!

- Okay, try again.
- God!

You got this, baby.

[WHITNEY PANTING]

Oh! Come on, come on! Oh, my God!

Damn it! sh*t!

- Try. You can do this, babe.
- Okay. Okay. Okay.

Come on. Okay.

- Okay. Come on.
- Try again.

- Come on.
- You got this. Come on, baby.

Okay, okay.

Oh! Uh!

- [WHITNEY SCREAMS]
- Got it! Oh! Oh!

[WHITNEY] Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

I think I'm having a contraction. Oh!

[WHITNEY GROANING]

Okay. Okay. Um, let's count.

Let's count. How long did it last?

- [WHITNEY] Oh!
- Oh! Oh!

F... sh*t!

[WHITNEY] Oh, God, Ash. Are you okay?

I'm okay. Do you feel
another one coming?

Uh, I don't know.

Okay. Okay.

Just breathe, okay?

I'm right here with you.

Good job.

Okay?

Whit.

We're having a baby.

We're doing it.

I think I... I think
I'm having another one.

- Oh, God. Okay.
- Okay.

- [WHITNEY GROANING]
- Okay.

We're counting.

We're counting.

- One, two.
- [WHITNEY GROANING]

Three, four, five.

Six, seven.

- [WHITNEY GROANING LOUDLY]
- Eight, nine, ten, 11.

- [DYSON WHOOSHING]
- 12, 13, 14, 15.

- 16, 17.
- [WHITNEY GROANING LOUDLY]







I might need the crevice attachment.



























[ASHER] Whit.

You have to get the phone.

You have to get out of this house.

Just quickly get the phone
and let's both get out of here

and call Dr. Brown.

I want to call Moses first.

Let's call the doctor
before the doula, okay?

[WHIMPERS]

But I'm scared. What if I get sucked up?

Be brave, okay?

Nothing's happening in the
spot where the phone is,

so maybe it's okay, just go quick.

We just have to call the doctor

and we have to get out of this house.

Okay?

Okay.

Good job, baby. You're so strong.

Stay low to the floor.

You got this?

[PANTING]

[WHIMPERS]

You're doing great.

Just stay low.

- That a girl! Okay.
- I can feel air on my back!

- Get out of the room quick!
- Oh, my God!

- Quick! Get out of here.
- I'm gonna get some help.

Get out!

Get out!

Oh, God!

[PANTING]

♪ ♪ ♪

Oh, God. I've having
another contraction!

[WHITNEY GROANING]

[WHITNEY GROANING LOUDLY]

You're doing great,
baby. Okay, let's count.

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven.

Eight, nine.

Ten, 11.



[WHITNEY PANTING]

[ASHER] 16...

Okay. So...

Oh, God.

Oh, okay.

Okay.

Ooh! Ooh! Ooh!

[BREATHING HEAVILY]

Hi. Hi, Moses.

Um, it's happening.

♪ ♪ ♪

Okay. So then, should we meet
you at the hospital or... ?

Um, how far away are you?

[MOSES SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]

Sure. I mean, I can
meet you at Española,

but our plan was Saint Vincent.

So is it too far to go to Santa Fe?

- Is that not possible?
- [ASHER] What is he saying?

- Well...
- Put him on speaker.

[MOSES] Things are
moving pretty quickly.

I think we should stay local
but the nurses at Española...

Oh, no, no, no. Oh, there's
another one starting.

You're gonna be in good hands...

[WHITNEY SOBBING]

[ASHER] She's in pain, Moses.

- She's in pain.
- [SOBBING CONTINUES]

It's not pain, it's intensity!

- [SOBBING]
- [MOSES] You've got to remember

that intensity is bringing you closer

to meeting your baby every time.

Okay.

Okay. I...

Asher is on the ceiling.

But we're gonna... Oh,
we're gonna be there soon.

[MOSES] Okay, don't forget to breathe

- and I'll see you shortly.
- Okay. Okay. Thank you.

- Bye-bye, bye-bye.
- Oh!

[ASHER PANTING]

It must be some sort of weather thing.

Why am I not up there then? Oh!

You should move away from me.

Just... just move away
and call Dr. Brown.

Moses... Moses is calling Dr. Brown. Ah!

Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
Who is going to drive me?

Louisa's in Taos today.

I'm calling Moses. I'm
gonna have him pick me up.

I'm going to drive. I'll drive you.

I'm going to drive
you. I just need to...

Oh! It feels like I'm falling up.

What the f*ck? Oh!

[ASHER] Oh!

[ASHER PANTING AND GROANING]

Hi. Hi.

Okay. Um...

Can you actually... Can you pick me up?

Ooh!

Oooh!

We are not raising
our baby in this house.

We can rent and then you can convert it.

Or if you want to keep it
as a showroom or a show home,

that's fine, but we are not
moving back in here to live.

- Oooh!
- We are just not.

- [CAR PULLS UP]
- Oh, thank God! Oh!

Oooh!

- [WHITNEY] Hi.
- Hey! There you are, Mama.

Look at you! You're glowing.

My contractions are
every two minutes now.

Ooh!

- Oooh!
- Okay. Okay. Okay.

Hey, everything's perfect, okay?

It's just picking up pace.

Hey, we got to get going.

- You want to come down?
- He can't.

sh*t! Can you help him?

We don't know what's going on.

- Are you okay?
- [ASH] I just woke up like this.

I don't know why this
is happening to me.

I honestly feel if I could
just get away from the house,

it'll be fine. I just don't
want to try it on my own.

Huh?

- I, I...
- All right.

All right, I have an idea. Here we go.

I'm going to just pull you down, okay?

- Okay. Okay.
- Give me your hands.

- Hold on tight.
- Yes. Don't let go.

- I'm not going to let go.
- Okay, but really hold on.

I'm going to hold on
tight. You trust me?

- Trust me?
- Yes. Yes.

Take a slow, deep breath all the way in.

All right. And as you breathe out,
I'm going to move you forward.

Ready. One, two, three!

[ASHER YELLS]

Ah! Put me back up there!

I'm going to try to
get you back in there.

- Put me back! Put me back!
- I can't!

You're slipping!

Don't let go! Don't let go!

- Put me back! Put me back!
- I can't get you there!

- Put me back! No!
- I can't do it. I can't.

Don't let go! I'm slipping.

- Let's go for that tree!
- No!

I'm slipping!

- I can't hold on!
- I'm slipping!

- Ah! Ah, I'm slipping!
- Grab onto that tree behind me.

- You see the branch?
- I can't. I'm slipping.

- I'm slipping.
- Grab the branch...

- Aaah!
- [LOUD THUD]

- [ASHER] I got it!
- Oh, my God.

- I got it! I got it!
- Oh, my God! Oh, my God!

- [MOSES] Jesus!
- I got it!

[WHITNEY PANTING]

Ooh! Oh, God! Oh, God!

- Are you okay?
- Oh, God. Oh, God.

- You're okay. You're okay.
- I don't know. I don't know.

- I want to go! I want to go!
- You guys got to go.

- I'm fine here.
- Okay. Okay. Okay.

- We got to go right away.
- Okay. We're gonna go.

I called the fire department but
I don't know what's happening.

Everything you're feeling
is normal. This is normal.

Hey, the fire department's coming Asher.

Just keep holding on.

I got a good grip. I'm okay.

Is there someone who
can come stay with him?

- Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay.
- Okay. Let's go then.

I'll be at the hospital very soon, okay?

- You just focus on yourself.
- Okay.

- And the baby.
- Okay.

The baby in your belly, okay?

Not this baby in the tree.

- Okay.
- Whaa-whaa!

Ash, you need to bring the go bag.

It's in your trunk, okay?
You're still coming, right?

- I swear to God, I'll be there.
- You're coming. Okay.

You're not getting rid of me that easy.

But I don't want to get rid of you.

I know. I know, I was joking.

Okay. Oh, God. Please, please, please!

I just need the pain to
stop. Please, please, please!

- Oh, God! Oh, God!
- I'll make sure

the anesthesiologist is ready
right when we get there, okay?

And I'm gonna be with
you the whole time.

[ASHER GROANING]

- [CAR STARTS]
- [WHITNEY MOANING]

- [MOSES] Hey, is this Dougie?
- [WHITNEY MOANING]

- [DOUGIE] Yes, who is this?
- This is Moses, the doula.

I'm in the car with
Whitney, and she's in labor.

- Things are moving very quickly.
- Unbelievable.

Something weird happened to Asher.

He flew up and he's in a tree.

He's holding onto a tree.

Someone has to go be with him.

Oh, my God! All right. I
know exactly what to do.

I'm going to go and get him, alright?

- [WHITNEY] Go, Dougie, go!
- Congratulations.

Aaaah! Aaaah!

[SPEAKS SPANISH]

How did he get up there?

I don't know.

He said he fell.

Well, they're gonna have to...

get him out from up there.

Hey, what did you fall from?

From the overhang.

- I just landed up here.
- [CAR PLAYING MUSIC APPROACHES]

[MUSIC CONTINUES]

[MUSIC STOPS]

Yo, Asher!

Ash, man, how you doing?

Exciting stuff, huh?

Big day.

- What's going on?
- I can't get down.

What you doing up there?

Something's happening to me.

I'm scared.

I totally get it.
I'd be f*cking scared, too.

But look, you see that
little "V" up there?

I just want you to...

to wriggle down and climb
down for me, alright?

I can't.

I will fly away.

Yeah, Moses mentioned you flew up there.

You always were a good climber.

Not that athletic, but a great climber.

I feel like gravity is like...

pulling me upwards.

It's f*cking heavy stuff, I get it.

Alright?

But look, you do you, all right?

You come down at your own speed,
I'm going to be right here.

I'm not going anywhere, alright?

- [ASHER GROANS]
- You promise me that, right?

- Yes.
- All right.

Hi, Bixby. Text Remy:

"How close are you and
do you have your drone?"

Yo, my man.

How'd he get up there?
You see him climb?

- No.
- You didn't see him go up?

I see him up there. I didn't
see how he got up there.

He was there already.

I just, yeah, when I walked up
he was just hanging up there.

All right.

Yo, Ash, you doing good?

Just call for help.

It's on the way. It's
on the way, all right?

You just hang tight.

My arms are getting tired!

I love you, bro.

[DOCTOR] He's breech and
he's coming out feet first.

We're going to need to do a C-section.

But it's alright.
It's completely normal.

And the heartbeat is strong.

- [WHITNEY] Can he come with me?
- As soon as the baby comes out.

But I need him before. Why
can't he be with me before?

- When did you check on Asher?
- [MOSES] Asher's fine.

- Dougie's with him.
- We need to go right now.

Everything's going
to be okay, all right?

Can I get help in here? We
need to go back to the OR.

You're having his baby right now.

- Okay.
- I'm going to get in there.

I'm going to be with you
as soon as I can, okay?

- You got this, Mama.
- You are in great hands.

- You're not coming with me?
- I'm not going to.

But the surgeon is excellent.
I know him very well.

- Keep your hands inside.
- Relax, it'll be fine.

You have it, Whitney.
Moms can do anything.

- [WHITNEY SOBBING]
- Just close your eyes.

You'll see I'm right there
with you the whole time.

♪ ♪ ♪

You know, this happens
to a lot of men, right?

My dad did the same thing.

He didn't run up a tree or
anything, but he ran away.

He was weak. You know, I
blamed him for everything.

[FIREFIGHTER] Hey, let's go.

[FIREFIGHTER SPEAKS INDISTINCTLY]

And it's weird when I see
my friend up there like that.

He's nothing like my dad.
He's a good guy, Asher.

- My dad wasn't.
- Okay.

But it makes you think about it.

♪ ♪ ♪

[DOUGIE] Must be something
about responsibility

for men in fatherhood.

- You have kids?
- No, no.

No? Me neither.

But, you know, for a woman.

She has the baby.

And then she has that connection, right?

For a guy it's so abstract.

Give me your hand, buddy, okay?

We'll go down the ladder together.

I can't. I'm telling you,

if I let go, I will fly away.

Look, we set up a big pillow down here.

That's in case you fall.

If you fall down,
you're going to be fine.

Like landing on a big pillow.

I don't need that. I'm telling you.

I need a net covering me
from the top that is anchored

to the fire truck, then you need
to crank me down to the truck.

That is the only way I will let go.

Okay. Okay. All right. Just relax.

- Okay.
- Let me go back down

and see what I can do,
and I'll be right back up.

- Okay?
- Okay. Hurry, please.

I got you. I'll be right back.

Oh, this guy's f*cking crazy.

We're gonna probably have to tranq him.

Yo, Freddy, my man. You
want to do me a favor

and put this microphone
up on the branch?

That way I can hear him and
I can help you guys negotiate

as his friend, right?

This better not be some stunt
for your TV show or something.

What, do you think I'm like that?

Come on, man. That's
my best friend up there.

His wife's giving
birth to his son, right?

It's not a f*cking stunt. Come on.

Just wrap it around the
branches and let it rest, okay?

Appreciate it. Good stuff.

Yo, Ash!

He's coming up with something.

It'll make me... I'll
be able to hear you

so you won't have to yell,
alright? Save your voice.

No one is telling me what to
do. Do I lean forward more?

[DOCTOR] Let's get going here, guys.

Pauline? Do we have Pauline?

- [NURSE] Yes.
- [DOCTOR] Prep?

- Antibiotics ready.
- Antibiotics hung.

- Okay. You're gonna feel a poke.
- A poke?

A poke.

Oh, God!

All right, let's get going.
Let's get her on her back.

- Okay.
- Ready to go.

- Come on.
- Um, I'm very cold.

Can you please get her a blanket?

I'm going to go scrub.
We'll be right back in.

Should I be... Should I
be this cold? I'm freezing.

I feel like I'm freezing.

- I'm freeze... Is this normal?
- It's normal.

- Okay.
- Totally normal, Mama.

♪ ♪ ♪

Is Asher here yet?

♪ ♪ ♪

[SHIVERING]

[ASHER STRAINING]

[PANTING]

[DOUGIE] How you doing?
You're doing okay?

- What's going on with Whit?
- She's good.

Everything's okay with her.

She's having a C-section, all right?

She's asking about you all
the time. She loves you.

How are they doing with the net?

You want to talk to me about
your fear about becoming a dad?

- Tell me about it.
- I'm not afraid.

I've never been more excited
about anything in my life.

It's beautiful. It's beautiful.

Is that why you decided to run away?

What the f*ck are you talking about?

Big responsibility.

What's going on with the net?

[FIREFIGHTER] Coming
up with the net now!

[ASHER] Is that big enough?

It needs to be anchored to the truck.

One step at a time, okay? I
got to get it over you first.

We're doing everything exactly
the way that you want it.

Go get the drone. Get the drone. Go, go.

[DOUGIE] You hear that, Ash?

They're doing everything
you want, all right?

You take it easy.

[FIREFIGHTER] Okay.
Just relax, all right?

It's got to get the net over
you first. All right, relax.

We do this all the time
with bears around here.

It needs to be attached to the truck.

Are you going to attach it to the truck?

We'll get you squared
away, all right? Hold on.

Give me a second. Net is on!

Hey, guys, let's go ahead and
secure that crashpad over there.

Come on. Sir, I need for
you to stand over here.

- Stay here, please.
- Everything's good?

Everything's good. Sir.

I need for you to stand over here, okay?

Okay. Okay.

You need to attach it to the truck.

Relax. I'm going to go down.

I'm gonna talk to my partner.
We do this all the time, okay?

She's going to come up
with the right tools.

Square you away? 100%.
Okay? I'll be right back.

Okay. She's going to
be the one to do it?

She's going to do it. She's a
trained professional. Trust me.

She's done this with bears?

Tons of bears. Trust me.

[ASH] You need to
attach it to the truck.

We got it. We got it. Trust me.

This ain't my first rodeo,
we'll get you squared away.

What, are you going to use,
a carabiner or something?

We got all the right tools.

Things you've never even
heard of. Don't worry.

You hang in there.
We'll get you down, okay?

♪ ♪ ♪

♪ ♪ ♪

♪ ♪ ♪

[DRONE BUZZING]

My name's Jody.

I'm a firefighter. I'm
here to help you, okay?

The net has to go over my back more.

It has to be fully covered.

- What you have to do...
- You just left it on me.

- I know.
- But you need to cover me.

We just need you to
hold real still, okay?

Take some nice big breaths.

Wait. Why do you need a chainsaw?

- I'm gonna get you down now, okay?
- Wait.

[CHAINSAW WHIRS]

No, no, no! No, no, no, no!

No, no! Wait. No, no!

No! No, you don't understand!

Stop, stop, please!

Please stop! You have to stop! Stop!

- Please! Please!
- This is incredible.

You don't understand!

- Tuck your feet in.
- Dougie! Dougie!

You have to tell them to stop!

Dougie, please! Please!
I'm begging you to stop!

Aaah!

Help!

[FIREFIGHTERS SHOUTING]

[FIREFIGHTER] Martinez, Clarke!

Up, up, up, up!

- Do you see anything?
- No.

Go higher.

Asher!

Can somebody tell me what's happening?

I'm all alone up here.

[DOCTOR] You're just
about to meet your baby.

[DOCTORS SPEAKING INDISTINCTLY]

[AIR WHOOSHING]

♪ ♪ ♪

If I come back, I...

If I come back down...

If I come...

♪ ♪ ♪

[DOCTOR] Beautiful baby boy.

Wanna lower the drape?

[BABY CRYING]

Oh!

[LAUGHS]

Do you want your doula to come in?

No, no, I don't need him.

Do you want us to see
if your husband's here?

Sure.

Yeah. Thank you.

[BABY CRYING]

♪ ♪ ♪

[AIR WHOOSHING]

♪ ♪ ♪

♪ ♪ ♪

The drone made it.

I got a signal.

I see it 700 feet away.

Yeah?

Yeah.

[SOBBING] Oh, God!

♪ ♪ ♪

Oh, God!

I'm so sorry!

♪ ♪ ♪

I really didn't mean it!
Anything I've ever done

I've been thinking of myself!

♪ ♪ ♪

[SOBBING AND MUMBLING]

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry.

Oh, I'm so sorry!

Get lost! Leave me alone, all right?

I'm good!

Just get out of here, all right?

Thank you.

♪ ♪ ♪

♪ ♪ ♪

♪ ♪ ♪

♪ ♪ ♪

♪ ♪ ♪

♪ ♪ ♪

♪ ♪ ♪

- ♪
♪ ♪
- [INDISTINCT DIALOGUE]

What movie they filming?
How do they do that?

That's... that's the guy from HGTV.

Oh? So it's for TV?

I think so.

Oh.

♪ ♪ ♪

♪ ♪ ♪