Punch (2023)

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Punch (2023)

Post by bunniefuu »

- That's not

the way to do it, you know.

- What do you mean?

Dad?

Dad, is that you?

- Remember that day?

You were so happy,

so happy here.

- I look happy, yeah,

but now I don't remember,

those days at the beach all

kind of blur into one, you know.

- Yeah, it was one

of those rare days

that your dad was home,

he took the photo.

Mobiles didn't have

cameras back then,

you had to send them off

to get them developed.

- All right, Grandma.

- I'm just saying,

you couldn't take 1000 selfies

to get the perfect

one like you can now.

And no filters either.

- I've seen your

Instagram thirst straps.

You're a huge fan

of filters now.

- Well, what can I say?

My DMs were on fire.

Maybe you should try it,

get a bit of male attention

for once in your life.

- I'll keep quiet

that those bikini pics

are from 2008, yeah?

- Oh yeah, yeah.

Don't go telling the

world your mum's secrets.

According to my

Insta, we're sisters.

What's got into you today?

I mean, even by your standards,

you look like someone's

pissed on your chips.

- Do you want a cup of tea?

- What do you want?

You never offer to make tea.

- You got me.

- Oh, you're not

pregnant, are you?

- Oh, as if!

- Oh, thank f*ck

for that.

Right, come on, spit it out.

Elton's on his way over and

I need to get my slap on

and get out of these

fat housewife clothes.

- Okay.

Look...

I'm gonna go back to

uni, not for long.

But you know, I need to

finish this term at least,

or I'm gonna fail.

Look, I'm sorry.

- Well, isn't everything

online these days?

I mean, you can just

do it from home.

- I wish it was, but my course,

you know, it's hands on.

- Whose hands, is this what

this is about, some boy?

- Mum, stop it. You'll be fine.

- Oh, I'll be fine, will I?

Oh, I didn't know you were

studying something useful

like psychiatry now.

- Mum, stop it, don't

do this, please.

- Do what?

What, you think that I like

calling my daughter for help

when I'm lying on

the bathroom floor

in a pool of my own blood?

What, you think that

was just for attention?

- That won't happen again.

Look, I know you, you're

stronger than you think you are.

You raised me pretty

much single-handedly.

You're a strong

independent woman.

- I'm not f*cking Beyonce.

- You're dating,

you've got friends.

You're the star at

the local karaoke,

even though you're pretty

f*cking far from being Beyonce.

Look.

I'll be back by the summer,

you know, for like three months.

And until then, I'm

only a phone call away.

So if you ever wanna talk,

I'll be there for you,

day or night, come on.

- So you're pissing off

to uni now, are you?

- No, Mum, I'm not pissing off.

I'm going tomorrow. Bag's

packed, train's booked.

I'm gonna go meet Holly for a

coffee, but I'll be back later

and we can get a

takeaway or something.

Get a bottle of wine.

- f*cking Holly.

What's that woke idiot up

to, saving the gay dolphins?

- I'll tell her you say hi.

- Yeah, well, don't

bother coming back.

Elton will be banging

my brains out tonight.

- Geez, Mum, too

much information.

- Come on, Frankie,

I don't mean it.

You'll like Elton, I promise,

he's really funny when

you get to know him.

- I'm sure he is.

- Always running away

from your responsibilities

one way or another.

You're as bad as

your f*cking dad!

Frankie.

Frankie baby, please

don't do this.

Please, you just

don't understand!

- Rah!

I didn't scare you, did I?

- No.

- Is your mum in?

- Yeah,

she's expecting you.

- Have I done

something to upset you?

Is everything all

right, sweetheart?

- Don't call me sweetheart.

- I know you don't trust me,

but I have only got your

mum's best interests at heart.

- She's single, you're single.

None of my business, is it?

Just don't f*ck her over, yeah?

- She's stronger than

she looks, you know.

- That's still no excuse

to f*ck someone over.

- All right, all right, geez!

- Cheer up, love,

might never happen.

You know what you need?

You need to get your

laughing gear round this.

Oi, I'm talking to

you, sweetheart.

On the house, such

a pretty girl.

- You're dripping, mate.

- Oi, I'll see you around, yeah?

- So go on, spill it.

Your updates on the socials

have been sparse

to say the least.

- It's different.

- Thanks.

Thanks for the

update, vague book.

- I don't know what to tell you.

The people are nice, mostly,

some of them are a bit

f*cking posh, of course.

- How's the boys?

- They're also different.

Very different from

the boys around here.

- Oh, lucky you.

How's your course?

- Um, it's going great, yeah.

Well, I mean it was until I

missed my last three weeks,

but yeah.

- How's your mum doing?

- Um...

She, ah, she says hi,

but yeah, she's okay,

I think, I hope.

Um, she's got a new

boyfriend at least.

- Oh, good for her.

- He's Dave Jameson's dad.

- That dickhead.

- Do you know him?

- He works for the

council, that's all.

Had a few run-ins with them.

- Still trying to

change the world, eh?

- Just this tiny,

shitty corner of it.

- So who fancies the special,

Bob's fresh sausages?

I can even batter them for you.

- No, mate, we're vegans.

- Well, sod you then.

- Men, always trying

to show us their meat.

- Hol,

ignore him.

I am sorry, you know.

- I was worried.

Everyone was worried,

especially after...

You're not the only person

to vanish in this town

and never be seen again.

- This place, it

gets a hold on you,

drags you down, I needed

to go and not look back.

- And not even tell

your best mate?

- I couldn't tell anyone.

My mum, if she knew

what I planned,

she'd find a way

to stop me somehow.

You're not gonna get

any signal around here,

you know that, right?

- Yeah.

- And it's got worse.

Bunch of f*cking yokels burnt

down the wireless tower.

You know, the one on the green.

- What, why?

- Some rumor went round

that it was infecting people

with 5G radiation or something,

melting people's brains.

- I swear everyone

over the age of 40

is in some sort of

like weird cult.

My mum's the same,

she's always on about

how they're out to

try and get her,

but she never says who they are.

- It's probably the

outsiders, you know,

with their fancy ways,

university education.

This place makes me want to

scream like that sometimes.

- You should

do, let it all out.

- Remember when

we used to do that,

scream with joy as we

ran out into the ocean?

- Pretty

sure that was just the cold,

or the sewage.

- Your mum's new

boyfriend's on the committee

that blocked our objections

to the waste treatment plant.

He's basically the

mayor from "Jaws,"

except the shark is

like a giant turd.

- I do

miss it, you know,

the sea,

its vastness,

constant changing.

Even if it is just a sea

of human sh*t.

- That's the

most poetic thing

I've ever heard

you say.

Don't keep me in the

dark next time, yeah?

- Yeah.

- No more secrets.

No more running away.

- Okay.

I promise.

- So we never

gave you a proper send off

the first time, so

let's do one now.

Bright lights, big

city, it's gonna be lit.

- So karaoke

at the Fox and Hounds?

- Oh well, Rosie and the Hare.

Shut until the summer,

Rowans closed down last year

and The Ship burnt down

in a insurance scam, so.

- So karaoke at

the Fox and Hounds.

You know, I hate that place.

We can do drinks over

Zoom or whatever.

But I've gotta go

and see my mum.

I can't leave her

on bad vibes again.

Yeah?

- All right.

Look after yourself.

See you.

- Watch where

you're going, whore!

- f*ck!

- It's you.

I thought you were

long f*cking gone.

- You don't know me.

- Oh, I know you all right.

I know your mother, don't I?

I knew your dad.

- Come on, Frankie, let's

leave this pisshead to it.

- You're making a big

f*cking mistake coming back.

You want my advice?

- No, she doesn't.

- Get out while you can.

Now, the pair of you,

you know what this is?

It's an omen, a f*cking portent.

- Leave us the f*ck alone

or we'll call the police.

- Fat lot of good they'll do.

You girls heard of

Mr. Punch, right?

You heard what he does

to girls like you?

- Listen, mate, we're

not scared of you,

we're not gonna shag you

and we're not gonna give

you money for cr*ck,

so you can piss your pants

in the street for all I care.

Just don't come

near us again, yeah?

And take your feathered

f*ck doll with you as well.

- It's a f*cking omen!

- Thanks.

Here, take this.

- Thanks.

- You okay?

- Just sh*t me up a bit,

you know, that's all.

Did you know that man?

He seemed to know me.

- He's always under the

pier doing meth or cr*ck

or whatever the f*ck

those guys do under there.

I tried to help them

before with soup and stuff,

but they told me to piss off.

- But what he said

about, you know, omens,

like that was scary sh*t.

- Well, the thing

is, he's not wrong.

Seagulls are what are known

as a sentinel species,

because they're the

top of the food chain.

You see one of them dead,

you know there's a big f*ck

up further down the ecosystem.

I'm not

helping here, am I?

- No.

- Look, it's what happens

when you spend too long here.

It'll be me in 50 years.

- Did your, ah, did your parents

ever tell you about that,

you know, Mr. Punch?

- When I was a kid, yeah.

- He-he mentioned him.

- So what?

Parents have been trying

to scare their kids

with Mr. Punch for like forever.

He's bullshit.

He's Santa Claus to teenagers.

- He's the bogeyman,

that's what he is.

When I was your age, we

used to dare ourselves

to go down to the end of

the pier at night, alone.

That's where they

said we'd find him

and his big,

fat,

club.

- Please don't, I was scared

shitless of Mr. Punch as a kid.

I couldn't even watch

him on the puppet shows

at the sea front.

- Good job you didn't, love.

The last guy to do the

Punch and Judy show here,

he got arrested,

pedo, total nonce.

- See, plenty enough real

monsters in this world

without having to

invent new ones.

- All right?

You girls heard about

my legendary Morrissey

impersonation then?

What, you don't like

the greatest songwriter

of his generation?

Well, I do a mean Ted

Sheeran, bit of Billy Eyelash.

You girls are here for

the karaoke, right?

- Oh yeah, I mean,

you should hear him.

He's pretty good with voices.

Thanks, babe.

- Mum, I am, you know,

sorry about earlier.

- What about, well

what happened earlier?

- No, nothing.

- Hey, can we have our

usual please, Babs,

whatever the two

girls are having

and a large one for yourself?

- Sure thing, babes.

- Oh, we'd love to

stay, Councilor Jameson,

but me and Frankie

were just leaving.

Got a good night planned.

- More gay dolphins to

save, Miss Manson?

- Dolphins are

pansexual actually.

- Well, we won't

cramp your style.

Although you young uns, you

don't know how to get on it

like we used to, do they, babe?

- We used to go to

all the illegal raves,

you know, big fish, little

fish, cardboard boxes.

Yeah, well, you don't get

that on TikTok, do you?

- Hol, let's go.

- You don't want

these drinks? Okay.

Cheers, babe.

- Cheers.

- Yeah, you know, he was

f*cking weird that guy.

- I know.

- You know.

- So where's this party at then?

- Well, you know, I thought

we could get some tinnies.

You remember, like we

were 13 again, down there?

- We can do better than that.

Low key

better than that.

Let's go see the boys.

- Really?

- Come on, they've missed

you, Daryl in particular.

- What, is he gonna be there?

- Where else is he

gonna be? Come on.

- I should have known you'd

come for me eventually.

You're too late anyway.

I've told the girls to get out.

Any luck,

they take this crazy

old man's advice.

I gave them the warning

I should have given-

- Oi, oi.

- All right, Rolo.

- Can't complain, you know,

babes, can't complain.

Who's your friend?

- Frankie, you f*cking dickhead,

who'd you think it was?

- Wankie Frankie.

- Wankie Frankie.

- You all right, babes?

- Yeah.

- Haven't seen you

round here in a while.

Thought she'd done

a disappearing act

like every other c**t

who thinks they're too

good for this place, eh?

- Just back for one

night, that's all.

- Oh, you look f*cking

freezing, babe.

Wanna jump in the back of

the Rolo mobile for a bit?

- I haven't got any dumber

since I've been away.

I'm still not gonna f*ck you

on the pile of McDonald's

wrappers you've got back there.

- Um, does Dazzler

know you're back?

- He doesn't.

- Well, he f*cking

does now, doesn't he?

- Hey.

- Can we talk?

- What, so shall

I talk first then?

- You're the

one who wanted to talk.

- Okay, I get it,

you f*cking hate me.

- I don't hate you.

- So what is it then?

- I don't know.

- I shouldn't have left

without saying goodbye.

I know that.

- Hm.

- I know how much that hurts.

My dad did the same to me.

Running away must

run in the family.

f*ck's sake. Good

talking to you anyway.

- Yeah.

- Goodbye for good this time.

So.

Dazzler,

you giving us a lift or what?

- Where?

- No, Hol, I'm going.

- So what's gonna happen

is Daryl's gonna take us

to an all night garage,

we're gonna get some cans and

then we're going to a party.

- What party?

- Come on, fasten your

seatbelts, both of you.

It's gonna be lit.

- No, it's not 'cause I'm

not going f*cking anywhere.

- I'm not going,

especially with him.

- What the f*ck?

- Who are these people?

- They're the first

canaries of gentrification.

They want to open a vegan cafe

where Dirty Dave's

chip shop used to be,

you know, before the incident.

- What, I go away for two

minutes and this happens?

- Hol!

- Hey, lovely.

Oh, ah, this is Justin

and this is Tamaryn.

Guys, this is Frankie,

my old best mate.

Well, she's still my best mate,

she just went away for uni.

- Oh, cool, whereabouts?

- Um, Loughborough,

yeah, doing art.

- That is so cool,

I'm a sculptor myself,

working with found objects.

I call it decolonizing

the detritus

of the maritime patriarchy.

- And I call it collecting

sh*t from the beach.

- What about you, what's

your ah, medium of choice?

- I like painting, you know.

- Fascinating.

We should go for a drink?

Maybe take some

peyote, chat about art,

what it means to us, et cetera?

- Yeah, maybe later.

- You girls had one of these?

- Thanks.

- Go on.

They're free, don't worry.

Justin got them from Amsterdam.

Come on, Justin.

I'm sure these girls have

got loads to catch up on.

- Yeah, sure, I'll speak

to you in a bit, ladies.

- So what do you think?

- To what?

- You know.

- What, him?

- And the girl.

They're a couple,

but they're poly.

They've asked me to do

a threesome.

- Oh, f*ck off.

There isn't any threesomes

and glow up paint orgies here,

this is just some sort

of f*cking elaborate hoax

to get me to stay, innit?

You know, what happened

to when we were like 13

and we'd sit on a pier

and chat sh*t for hours?

I miss those days.

- Come on, this

place can change.

I can change.

Give me yours, I need

it for the threesome.

- No way.

- Come on, you know you

don't touch this stuff.

- Yeah, I know I

don't, I know that,

but it is my last night, innit?

So f*ck it.

- Yes.

- Good vibes only now,

here and now, darling.

- Stop.

- No fucker's gonna ruin

it for me, that's for sure.

- It's out,

it's out, it's out.

Stop it.

I need a piss.

- You slag.

- Oh, oh, oh, hello.

- Aye, aye!

- Hey, get your tits out!

Get your tits out.

- Yeah.

- Hey, why the long face, sexy?

- The

blushing bride.

- Oh my God, is it a stripper?

- No, no, no, no, no.

Right, I ordered a

copper, all right?

Where's the copper? We

wanna see the copper.

- You should

get your cock out anyway.

Get your f*cking cock

out, I wanna see it.

Eh, I wanna see how big it is.

- How small it is, squeeze it.

- Out! I wanna see it.

- Whatever will

your future husband say?

- No, don't talk about Darius.

- Oh, he's f*cking useless.

He's with them slags in

the strip club, isn't he?

Um, do you fancy a nosh under

the pier or what, 'cause?

- Oh yeah.

- I'm gagging.

- She's good, she's

really, really good.

- I'm really good.

- If you

think you can handle it.

- No, let's go, go find

the girls, come on.

- No, I like a bit

hard wood, come on.

- No, come on.

- Oh, you

can't leave now, girls,

you've got me all excited.

Ah!

- Get off her!

No, stop!

No, no, no, stop it!

Stop!

- Weddings

always get me choked up too.

- Oh my God, leave

her alone, get back.

No, no, no, no, no!

f*ck you, f*ck you!

- Always

the bridesmaid.

Never the bride.

- No, please, no!

- Whoa.

- Mate,

what the f*ck?

Can't you see

we're busy in here?

- Ssh!

Come on, let's do this properly.

- Sweet.

- No, f*ck's

sake! I don't mean like that.

- f*cking hell.

- I mean,

talk.

- To me?

What?

- What?

- What?

- What?

You know I'm sorry.

Look, I didn't mean to hurt you.

- Yeah, well, you did.

Look, you can't just run away

from your feelings, Frankie,

sometimes you've

gotta face them.

Or some sh*t, innit? I

don't know, don't ask me.

- Yeah, you're not

the first person

that's said that to me today.

I did miss you, you know?

- Yeah and I um...

I f*cking love you, Frankie.

- Really?

- Yeah.

- Or is that just

the dr*gs talking?

- Oh, a little from column A.

- Little from column B.

- B.

- Yeah.

Oh, that's the most romantic

thing anyone's ever said to me.

- Really?

- Of course not, you

f*cking dickhead.

- f*ck's sake, Frankie.

- But it'll do.

- f*ck.

- For f*ck's sake.

- sh*t.

- Ssh!

Can't believe you've

forgotten how to do it.

Just unclip it.

- Oh!

- Jesus, Hol.

One threesome ain't

enough for you?

- You both wish.

Come on, we're leaving,

get your kit on.

- What? what about-

- The threesome's off.

Justin and Tamaryn had a

massive row, now she's crying

and now he's downing

home-brew with some jugglers

This party's turning to sh*t.

- Sounds like it just

got started to me.

- Shut up, Dazzler.

Me and Tam are

going to the beach,

get away from all these boys.

- What about me?

- What about you?

- Who

the f*ck's this clown?

- I'm Mr. Punch.

Who the f*ck are you?

How do you m*rder a clown?

You go straight for the jugular.

- Hey, babe.

- Now

what do we have here?

- G'day, mate, come in,

the water's so nice.

Do you want some?

You look like you need

to chill the f*ck out.

- I'll be

back for you later, babe.

Please excuse me for one moment.

- Ready or not,

here I come.

- What the f*ck?

- What's long

and hard and fucks kids?

Uh!

- James!

f*ck.

- What the f*ck

is wrong with you?

- Simon, tell him,

please, what the f*ck?

Uh!

- Let that

sink in.

James.

- Well,

I can do you too.

Want a taste of this?

- No!

Uh!

- Time to

get back in the closet.

Uh!

- I said back in the closet.

Who's a pretty boy then?

Not you!

Not anymore!

Frankie, where are you?

- f*ck, man!

Oh sh*t, bloody keys.

What?

Take the car.

Take-take my weed, take my

treat, it's a f*cking mint.

- Naughty boy.

Were you going to

drink and drive?

- No, no, I promise, look.

Take my keys.

You want a hand job, is that it?

Look, I'll spit on it

but I won't suck it.

Okay, okay, I'll suck it, just

let me f*cking breathe, man.

- I just wanna know

where your little friends are.

- Who?

- Wrong answer.

Aw, sleep tight.

- Guys, we definitely

made the right choice.

That party was going

downhill real fast.

- I don't know, I was

having a pretty good time.

- It's so beautiful out here.

Got the fire and the

sound of the waves.

You know, I'm so glad that

I moved out of the city

to somewhere so,

just so peaceful.

- Yeah.

It's okay, I suppose.

We should go.

We should go like

skinny dipping!

Yes!

Surrender ourselves to the waves

and just feel Mother

Nature on our skin.

Yes!

Whoo!

Whoo!

Whoo!

Look at that!

- Is she for real?

- Shut up.

- Whoo!

- You'll die of hyperthermia

before you even get a

lung full of effluence.

We can go to Davy Wavy's

Waterpark tomorrow.

It's got a wave machine

and everything, much safer.

- Okay.

- You big city folk have a

lot to learn from us yokels.

- Hm.

- Yeah, you know, Hol, it was

a good idea coming out here.

Somewhere romantic.

- Ugh!

- Are you reconsidering

moving away?

- Oh, don't be my mum again.

Just let me enjoy

this one night.

- I get you.

- Right, I'm gonna go piss.

- Thanks for ruining the moment.

- Shut up,

I've had like 20 beers,

what do you expect?

- Bollocks, have you, you've

had about half that.

- Ah, Dazzler, keep walking,

don't wanna hear you.

So you and Daryl

an item again then?

- Don't know.

Feels right,

right now.

We'll deal with the awkward

sh*t in the morning.

- I mean, he's just,

I don't know, like

not your type.

- And how do you

know what my type is?

- I'm not being horrible, hun.

It's just...

You're an artist studying at uni

and well, he's just...

- The last book he read

was "The Gruffalo,"

he only managed to

finish that last year.

- You two don't

know him like I do.

He's funny, he's

smart, proper caring,

just hides it

really f*cking well.

- Really f*cking well.

- Yeah, all right.

He's a monosyllabic dickhead

that gets on better with cars

than he does with, you

know, people, but...

He's my monosyllabic dickhead.

- Sounds like love to me.

- Mm-hm.

- Shut up, does it.

Oh dear.

- What?

- You really

pissed on your chips now.

- Who the f*ck are you

supposed to be, you silly c**t?

- I'm Mr. Punch

and I know the way to do it.

- Step off it,

I'll spark you clean out.

- Oh, you wanna

give Mr. Punch a punch, do you?

Come on then, big man.

If you come at Mr. Punch,

you'd better not miss.

Uh!

Come on, boy.

Are you a piece of cod?

You're about to get

battered.

- Did you hear that?

- Hear what?

- This sort of weird

high-pitched voice

- It's just the wind or the sea.

- Or a

seagull eating a rat.

- A rat?

- Yeah.

These boats are full

of them, big as cats.

Luckily, the seagulls

are as big as vultures.

Or it could be

Mr. Punch, course.

- I remember saying

good vibes only tonight.

Cut it out.

- Who's Mr. Punch?

- You don't wanna know.

- Come on, Frankie.

If Tam here wants to

be part of our group,

then she needs to

be kept up to speed

with the local celebrities.

- Ignore her, Tam,

he's just someone our parents

used to warn us about,

he scared me shitless.

- Legend says that he

st*lks the town at night

looking for teenagers,

girls misbehaving in particular.

He hits their heads

with a big fat club.

Toxic masculinity in the flesh.

And on nights like this,

when the wind howls,

we can hear him laughing as

he murders another teenager

that was doing something

they shouldn't.

- He's not real, like he

doesn't actually exist, right?

- Of course he

doesn't.

- Oh yes, he does.

- Daryl.

- If that's you, Dazzler,

I'll feed your d*ck

to the f*cking sand rats!

- Yeah, Daryl, come

on, knock it off.

It's not funny.

- Oh yes, it is.

- Look, Daryl, really

not f*cking funny.

- Hol,

I w-wanna go home, I don't

like it out here anymore.

- Yeah, same,

let's leave Frankie

with the least f*cking

funny dickhead in the world!

- Hey, you can't

leave me on my own.

- Oh, you're

not alone, Frankie.

I hope she's carbon neutral.

- Frankie, he can't

follow the both of us.

- Daryl!

Daryl.

- Hello.

- Emergency, which service?

- Police and f*cking police.

Okay, can you calmly

state your location and

what your emergency is?

- The-the beach, just-just

past the caravan park and...

There's a man in a

mask, a Punch mask.

Hello?

- You can

never get a signal,

when you need it,

can you?

Snitches get

stitches.

Time to sleep with the

dolphins.

What do you call a

man stuck out at sea?

Bob, you get it?

Tough crowd.

- Frankie.

Frankie, Frankie, it's me,

it's me, it's me, it's me.

- What did he do to you?

- f*ck, I've had worse.

- Holly and-and Tamaryn.

- Right, okay.

- Frankie, listen to me!

- Holly and Tamaryn!

- Frankie, Frankie, listen

to me, for f*ck's sake!

Frankie.

- I can't.

- Oh, how sweet.

Hey Frankie, you should

be with a real man,

not a little boy.

- No!

- Frankie, take this.

Frankie, take it and

if he gets past me,

then you f*cking

s*ab him, right?

- No!

- Run, Frankie, run!

- No!

- Roll up, roll

up, all the fun of the fair!

Uh!

- Home

run.

I thought he was

never gonna shut up.

But now.

- No!

- Now, you and me,

we can have some

quality time together.

Talk about those

daddy issues of yours.

- Please.

Open the door.

Please, you have to

help me, please, please.

- I can't, I-I'm sorry, babe.

- No, please,

you don't understand.

You heard her.

- Oh!

- We can't help you.

- Please.

- The only way to

keep Mr. Punch away

is to be a good girl

and do as you're told.

Isn't that right?

So f*ck off.

- Please.

Please.

- Yeah, f*ck off, please.

- No, please!

Open the door, please!

No.

- Don't you

know the rules, Frankie?

- No!

- When

the caravan's rocking,

don't come a-knocking.

- Help!

Help!

Help!

- You all right, miss?

You been drinking?

How about dr*gs?

Listen, you need to calm down.

- No!

There's a man in a mask and

he-he tried to k*ll my friend!

- All right, look, look, look,

we've obviously got a

lot to unpack here, eh?

Listen, why don't you come

down to the station with me,

we can get a proper statement

and maybe get you a

bed for the night, eh?

- No, no.

My friend, she...

- Oi, I asked nicely,

don't make me use force.

Get into the back of the car.

- I can't, what are

you, what are you doing?

- Don't make me use these,

I will if necessary.

Now take a seat in the back.

- No.

- Oh, what now?

- He...

He's behind, he's behind you.

- Look, this ain't a pantomime.

Oh yes, it is.

You'll never take me

alive, officer.

- No!

Please, please don't!

- No!

- I say, I say...

What's the difference between

five dicks and a joke?

Your mother can't take

a joke!

You can't run from your

problems forever, Frankie.

Sooner or later, they're

going to catch up with you

and when they do.

I f*cking hate

clowns.

Jackpot!

- Oh, f*ck.

- Come on, Frankie.

You know how the song goes.

- Okay, okay, you win!

- Eh?

I say, I say,

what do you say to a

woman with two black eyes?

Come on, Frankie,

what do you say?

- I don't know!

- Nothing, you

already told her twice!

See, I still think

you need to be taught

a little lesson, Frankie.

Just a little one, something

short and sharp.

You call that a Kn*fe?

Uh!

- f*ck.

Ow!

- Roll up,

roll up, grab a prize.

Get off!

Uh!

Frankie.

Where are you?

Come out, come out,

wherever you are.

- f*cking signal.

Where is she, where is she?

Where are you, Frankie, eh?

f*cking signal.

- I f*cking knew it.

- Yeah it's me.

No.

No, babe, she's gone.

Stupid bitch jumped

just like her waste

of a space father.

But just in case she

managed to slip by me,

put out the pass

signal, everyone.

No, I'll tell Judy.

I said I'll tell Judy.

You just make sure that

everyone knows the drill.

- Hey, Frankie.

- That's one way to do

it, you f*cking c**t.

Come on, Mum, pick up please.

Mum?

Are you okay?

- Oh, Frankie.

- Mum.

- Oh, baby.

- Are

you, are you okay?

- You're okay.

- I'm so sorry.

I'm so sorry, I should

have believed you.

You weren't being paranoid.

There is something out

there, something evil.

And I need to tell you

something about Elton.

- What about him, sweetheart?

- Mum, he's the evil,

I saw him out there,

he's tried to k*ll people,

he tried to k*ll me,

I think he's k*lled Daryl

and I can't get hold of Holly

'cause there's no

f*cking signal anywhere.

But you're the only one I

care about that's alive.

- Oh, it's all right,

it's all right, sweetheart.

I've got you.

I've got you.

Everything's gonna be okay.

- What...

What's that?

- What's what?

- Oh, this?

This is just for a little game,

like a local tradition.

Mr. Punch will be here soon.

- No.

- And we,

we can all be a family again.

- Mum.

What have they done to you?

- And

you call me paranoid.

Here he is.

Now, be a doll, go

and answer the door.

- No f*cking way.

Mum, please, we can fix

this, we can get out of here.

We can have a clean

slate, please, please.

Just please, just take

off this f*cking mask.

- Mr. Punch is

the man of the house.

- Do not open that f*cking door.

- Mr. Punch is

the man of the house.

Now we can't leave

him waiting outside.

- Mum, don't open

the door please.

Okay.

- He'll just

have to use his key.

- Why?

- You

wouldn't understand,

but one day,

you will.

- It's

true.

We always hurt the ones we love.

- And I know he's

just his showing affection.

- You don't

understand what an honor it is

for the good people of this town

to choose me as this

year's Mr. Punch.

- To pick

me as his Judy.

Oh, it was, it was

just so wonderful.

It was like we're

local celebrities

or royalty even.

- Why don't

you run along, Frankie

and pop the kettle on?

We can have a nice family chat,

fill you in on a

few home truths.

Look at me.

Look at me!

Don't cry, Frankie.

You're so pretty, Frankie.

Do you wanna stay the night?

You know,

with great power

comes great responsibility.

It's not for everyone,

this Mr. Punch lark.

Your father, for example,

he just couldn't handle it.

Oh yeah.

It's about time you

learnt the truth

about your father

and why he jumped.

But you, I mean, you are

made of much sterner stuff,

aren't you, Frankie?

Maybe one day,

you will make a wonderful

Judy for someone.

- My little girl.

- Maybe even me.

There's nothing like

a nice cup of tea.

- Oh!

- What have you done?

- It's tough love,

Mum, trust me.

The police.

- Now then,

now then, what's occurring?

We've had reports you've

been a naughty girl.

- Please!

Please!

Make it stop, please, please!

Mum!

- Don't you see, dear,

how much you mean to

me, to this whole town?

- Stop!

- It's

the chop for you.

- Smile,

you're on "Candid Camera."

- Mum, please.

Please.

No!

- Sorry, baby, but

it's for your own good.

- Punch

is dead, long live Punch.

Punch is dead, long live Punch.

Punch is dead, long live Punch.

- No, please!

- Punch

is dead, long live Punch.

Punch is dead.

- That's the

way to do it.
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