05x02 - The Late Baby

[bunniefuu]

One-Adam-12, One-Adam-12,
a 2-11 in progress.

One-Adam-12, handle, code 3.

♪♪

Officer Malloy.

Um...

I was checking these reports
and you forgot to sign your 484 PS.

Whatever that is.

Hi, there.

Um, I noticed it while
looking through the stuff

that was piled up on my desk.

There you go.

Thank you.

And you're doing a
great job whoever you are.

Hey, come on, you
guys, I'm serious.

What are these
things made out of?

I don't know, Ed. I
never had mine stolen.

You see that new
girl in records?

No.

Yeah, not bad.

What's her name?

Did you look at her ID card?

Well, no, I couldn't
read her handwriting.

It was Marilyn something.

Tate. Marilyn Tate.

Not bad.

Yeah, you better get
you radar fixed, buddy.

Yeah?

Yeah, I'm just trying
to warn you, Pete.

She's from deep freeze Montana.

- You know Philmore
over at communications?
- Yeah.

Yeah, well, he took at sh*t at her the
first day she was here on vacation relief.

He's still in the intensive
care unit at County General.

You're kidding.

I wouldn't kid you, Malloy.

Well, what did Philmore do
to get himself so messed up?

Well, this is all second hand.

But the way he tells it,
he took her out to dinner.

Spent a fortune.

Then he took her to a
play. Spent a fortune.

He took her out for drinks
afterwards and spent a fortune.

And on the way home,
walking up to the front door,

he reached for her
hand and got frost bite.

Oh, yeah, lost his right
arm all the way to the elbow.

Yeah, I sent him a
nice get well card.

Come on, she can't be that bad.

You better believe she is.

Uncle Ed.

Yeah.

Sergeant McDonald wants
to see you as soon as he can.

- Well...
- Uncle Ed?

You see your uncle and I
are very old, very close friends.

Careful, Malloy, that
could disqualify you.

However not such close
friends that I couldn't

double-cross him
at a moment's notice.

That's better.

- Would hold those for me?
- Yeah.

Uncle Ed is really very nice.

But ever since I moved out and
started living with him and Eileen,

I've been on two and a
half feet of galvanized chain.

He's just a little
overenthusiastic, that's all.

Oh, I don't mind that. I just wish
he'd stop cleaning his shotgun.

It scares off the competitors.

I'm not intimidated.

It's funny having an uncle
who's only a few years older.

My mother has had kind
of a nickname for him.

We call him the Late
Baby and does he hate it.

Oh, that's beautiful.

I'll just file that away for
use at some appropriate time.

You on a coffee break?

Um, no, I was
just talking to Pete.

Well, why don't you
get back to work?

I told them you were
diligent. That's why

they transfered you
over from vacation relief.

See you later, Ed.

Hey, it's nothing
personal, Pete.

I just want to see Marilyn,
here, make a good impression.

If you really cared about
her you'd want the same thing.

See you later, Ed.

Hey, listen, Malloy...

Wait a minute you two.
I'm going back to work.

Thank you.

About 5:30?

All right, I'll wait
for you here.

Good.

Hey, where you
taking her, Malloy?

Where you taking her?

There's a good X-rated
film on the Freemont.

Oh, yeah? What's it called?

Comics. Nothing but comics.

I wish there was one
straight man in this joint.

There is, Ed. You.

A late baby?

It's kind of an old family joke.

You know, if this thing with
Marilyn turns into anything

I think I'm gonna have
my hands full with it.

Oh, come on, Pete. You
got to be kidding. Uncle Ed?

He wouldn't hurt a fly.

Yeah, it's only because

it's so messy using
a shotgun to k*ll flies.

One-Adam-12,
One-Adam-12, see the woman.

A prowler there now.


One-Adam-12, roger.

Did you report a prowler?

Yes, I've been hiding
inside shaking like a leaf.

Are you Mrs. Fowler?

How'd you know that?

- I read it on the mailbox.
- Oh.

Well, I saw him at the window.

When he saw me
looking, he ran out back.

Now, there's no way out of there
except by passing these windows.

Now, I've been watching and
he's got to still be back there.

There's no sign of him. It's
pretty overgrown out there.

Okay, I want you to go back
inside your house and stay there.

Partner and I are
gonna try something.

Thank you, officers.

A false alarm, Jim. Let's go.

Right.

Lost, mister?

Put your hands
on top of your head.

I'll go get Mrs.
Fowler for an ID.

Okay.

Why don't you take her to
the Hamburg's. Good food.

Nah, I've been around
there too much lately.

It's getting kind of old.

Aren't you the one that said their beef
Wellington is worth 10 years in Folsom?

Too many old
girlfriends hang out there.

I'll think of something.

I need something more
romantic, you know?

Soft lights and soft music.

Ths soft sound of shotgun
pellets dropping like gentle rain.

Now, you got it.

That one being held
together by bailing wire.

Sounds like bearings.

Maybe he stops it
by dragging his feet.

This is one-Adam-12
requesting wants and warrants

on Ida 74251.

One-Adam-12, stand by.

We pulled you over 'cause
you ran that stop sign.

Could I see your
license, please?

Yeah, well, I'm sure that
this can all be explained,

because I generally...

This license is
expired, Mr. Archer.

You're not supposed
to be driving with it.

Yeah, yeah. Well, you see, I
got kinda like this special problem.

Would you step out
of the truck, please?

Sure. You see, my problem

is that I'm a flower
vendor, see?

And I got this little curbside stand over
on the corner of Hoover and Vermont.

And I need the truck to
get my flowers over there.

And all my money is tied up in
them carnations for the weekend.

So I had to take the truck to get
them from the florist over to the stand.

Maybe you can see my problem.

That's not your only
problem, Mr. Archer.

You talking about
them old traffic tickets?

Yes, sir. You got
two warrants on you

for failure to appear in court
on those two traffic tickets.

Well, I don't have much
of a memory for dates.

- Apparently.
- I'm afraid we're gonna
have to take you in, sir.

Wait a minute. You guys
are putting me out of business.

I got 300 bucks tied
up in them flowers.

I go to jail, they'll all die.

Is there someone you could call

that could take the
flowers over to your stand

and sell them for you?

Maybe I could call Diane.

Who's Diane?

My fiancée. At least, she
was till you guys got in the act.

We were gonna use the money
from them flowers to get married on.

Now I'll need to sell
them to get bail money.

Yeah, well, Mr. Archer,

could you wait in your
truck a minute please?

What do you think?

I don't know. I'm afraid to
ask him another question.

The whole thing's starting
to sound like a soap opera.

Look, why don't we call this Diane,
have her meet us at the vending stand?

She can watch the flowers, we
can take Archer in and book him.

Sold.

Looks like a real heavy caper.

What'd he do?

Forgot to pay for a few tickets.

Soon as he's finished
unloading the truck,

we're gonna take him
down and book him.

Listen, Pete, I
talked to Eileen.

And she and I would like
to treat you and Marilyn

to a barbeque tonight
over at our place.

I figure you two are
going out anyway,

so why not chow
down at our house?

Well, thanks very much, Ed, but
why don't we make it some other time?

I've got other plans.

What other plans?

Oh, nothing special, just plans.

Listen, Malloy.

I don't like being the
comic heavy in this thing.

But I'm not about to
stand around and watch

a lot of blue Dacron cowboys
chasing after my niece.

You want to be the
good man of the hour,

why don't you take this guy
down and book him for me?

If I have to do it, it's gonna make
me late for my date with Marilyn.

That's a tough break.

Hey, I sure appreciate this.

You guys saved me 300 bucks.

And Diane ain't even sore. She's gonna
spend the weekend trying to sell them.

I'll be your first customer. Let
me have a bunch of the white ones.

Okay. Hey, wait a
minute. On the house.

Nothing doing. I
want to pay for them.

What do you need them for?

Peace offering.

Pete. I'm sorry.

Do you want to know
why I wasn't here?

Uncle Ed told you
that I'd stood you up,

so you went home with him.

And it took you
until 15 minutes ago

to figure out that he may
have been giving it to you

with a little English on it.

He told me that you
were irresponsible

and crude and
you drink too much.

Come on. I know a
great place for dinner.

Oh.

You didn't have to do that.

Yeah. I'm helping a
guy I know make bail.

How's Ed this morning?

Oh, well, you've
played cards with him.

You know how he is
when he's got a good hand

and you back him down
with a handful of garbage?

- Yeah.
- Well, that's the way
Ed is this morning.

How you feeling, Pete?

Oh, pretty good. Little tired.

Hear you got her in
kinda late last night.

I've been meaning to
talk to you about that.

Well, she told me she
had all her homework done.

Ed,

she's 25 years old.

Where'd you go, the Homburg?

Yeah, the Homburg.

Wrong. You were
nowhere near the Homburg.

Well, how'd you know that?

I got ways of
knowing those things.

Ed, why don't you tell
him what you did last night?

He spent last night riding
around looking for you.

Ah. You didn't cruise
around in your car

trying to find us, did you?

Of course not.

Who told you that?

Pete, he's really worried.

How 'bout me? I feel
like Jack the Ripper.

Hey, let's look at this.

This is one-Adam-12. We're
in pursuit of a green Corvette.

Southbound on Laurel
Canyon from Ventura Boulevard.

License number is
King Sam Ocean 909.

Suspect vehicle is wanted
for speed only at this time.

All units on all frequencies stand
by. One-Adam-12 is in pursuit.

One-Adam-12 is in
pursuit of a green Corvette.

Southbound on Laurel
Canyon from Ventura Boulevard.

We're no longer in visual
contact with suspect vehicle.

One-Adam-12,
one-Adam-15 is code 100

at Mulholland and Wrightwood.

One-Adam-11 is code 100
at Laurel and Sycamore.

One-Adam-12. We're no longer
in pursuit of suspect vehicle.

Shows code 6 in Laurel Canyon.

All units, one-Adam-12 is no longer
in pursuit of the suspect vehicle.

Hey, Reed, can I
talk to you a minute?

Ed, look, I'm out of
it. Don't start on me.

No, seriously, I just
thought maybe Malloy

might have told you
what happened last night.

Well, how 'bout it?

What?

Where'd Malloy take Marilyn?

I know where I'd take
her if she was with me.

Why don't you butt out?

Know what I usually do?

I borrow a sailboat
from a friend of mine

and take it out a
half mile off shore.

And I got a little red thermos
that I fill up with margaritas.

And I take a little
transistor radio

and I just let nature

take its course.

That why you've been
married three times?

Oh, you got a big mouth.

I'm impatient, Ed.

My ex-wives say that
that doesn't wear well.

Loveable, but impatient.

Take a hike.

I'm talking to Reed.

- Shoo.
- How old is that stuff?

Six months, Ed. That's
why I'm changing it.

Listen, Reed, you and I, we've
had a couple of rough spots

in our relationship.

But I figure you're a big enough
guy to let bygones be bygones.

- You know what else I figure?
- Hm?

I figure you being a family man,

you got a pretty good understanding
of my position in this thing.

See, I'm responsible for her.

It's got to be tough.

Well, you know, a little
hand-holding, I don't mind that.

That's natural. But as
her uncle, I want to know

where she's going and with who.

Ed, you want some
advice from a family man?

Well, sure, pal. Anything.

Look, why don't you lay off?

Come on, you're
covering for him.

- What'd he tell you?
- Nothing.

Come on. Just tell me. I'll
never let on you copped out.

- Nothing.
- Hey. I know better.

- Nothing.
- Let me put it to you
another way.

Sit down here, will you?

You know, this thing with Wells,

it used to be funny, but it's
beginning to slop over, Pete.

Tell me about it.

You got anything going
with Marilyn tonight?

She was booked.

But I gotta hand it to Wells, he's
making her look a lot less desirable.

I got an extra ticket to
the fights. You want to go?

Yeah, great.


on our vacation checklist?

Yeah. That gardener's
supposed to be there

between 1 and 3:30 on Thursdays.

He's a day early.

Hi.

Hi. Just getting a
little watering done.

Don't want the trees to die.

Nice set of tools.

Yeah, well, it's like they say.

You can always tell a
workman by his tools.

Yeah, well, in your case
I'd say that's especially true.

What do you mean?

I mean they haven't
even been used.

Just what kind of
work you doing?

Turn around, put your
hands on top of your head.

Check for his partner.

All right, freeze, mister.

Come on, turn around, put
your hands on top of your head.

Well, you got me
all wrong, officer.

I live here. I was just
packing for a vacation.

You wear these often?

What happened to Ted? He
was supposed to honk the horn.

He's out hanging
around by the truck.

Turn around, put your
hands behind your back.

Just take it easy.
Don't try to get up.

I had an accident.

I went off the road back there.

Took me all morning
to climb up here.

And then nobody would stop.

They just went past.

No one would help me.

I could've d*ed out here.

I'll call you an ambulance. What
kind of a car were you driving?

Green Corvette. You
can see it down there.

We found our deuce. The
'Vette's off the road down there.

One-Adam-12 requesting a unit
for transportation and an ambulance

to Laurel Canyon Boulevard,
one mile north of Morse Drive.

One-Adam-12, roger.

Okay, Mr. Archer,
your bail's been paid.

Oh, thank you very
much. I really appreciate...

Hey, Reed, I want to talk to you.
I just want to say thanks again.

Sales must have
been pretty good.

Yeah. Me and Diane are
off to Vegas to get married.

- Leaving tonight.
- Well, congratulations.

Look, I hope you're not gonna try to
take that truck all the way to Vegas.

Oh, no, we're using Diane's car.

But don't you
worry. She's driving.

Okay.

Boy. I don't know
what it is you guys have,

but you better keep it quiet.

The captain's gonna put
you in community relations.

Mac, it's all in knowing how to
arrest him and have him still like you.

We call it technique.

Pete, the fight
starts in an hour.

Yeah, I'm just about finished.
I'll meet you in the locker room.

All right.

What time you planning
on having her in tonight?

Now, no arguments, Malloy.

I want you to have her
in the house by 1:00.

Ed, I'm afraid...

- I'm not fooling around.
- Will you shut up

and let me say something?

I don't have a date
with Marilyn tonight.

I'm going to the fights with
Reed. And I promised Jean

I'd have him home by 12:00.

So see, wherever I can,
I try to be cooperative.

Well, she said she
was going out tonight.

If not you, who?

♪♪

♪♪

Oh, you gotta be kidding.

Hey, Boyd, come here. Boyd!

I want to talk to
you. Come here.

Come here. Hey, I
want to talk to you.

Over here. Hold it.