Kaboom (2010)

[bunniefuu]

It's always the same dream

I'm wandering Naked

In this strange Maze of hallways

And I feel this creeping sense
Of impending doom

Like something terrible's
About to happen

I pass my roommate

My Mom

My best friend Stella

Basically every significant
person in my life

And they're all just staring at me

Like I'm some kind of museum display
Behind glass

Then I see two people
I've never met before

A mysterious unearthly
Beautiful woman

And this red-haired girl

And they both seem to be
Leading me deeper into the corridor

This is when I noticed

A black door

And I'm not sure why

But somehow I know that I've gotta
Find out what's behind it

So I grabbed hold of the knob

Opened the door and discovered

A dumpster

I've had the same bizarre
f*cking dream

Every night since I moved into
The dorms last week

So now I'm wide awake

And, being 18 and perpetually horny

Anytime I have 5 idle minutes

My right hand automatically
Takes over

Like it's got a will of its own

Sorry
I'm just trying to be quiet

It's too hot to sleep anyway

How's the party?

Rad

I'm wasted

Nice

You should've come with us, dude

Everyone got crumped

Took their clothes off

Swam

The water was so warm

Mind if I sit?

Can I ask you something?

Sure
- You're like gay, right?

Uhhh, I'm more Undeclared

What's it like exactly?

I imagine it's different from
Being with a girl

It's way different

It's more...

Raw

Physical

I mean, cause you're intimately familiar

With plumbing,
There's less mystery and guesswork

Like,
You know exactly what to do...

And how it feels

Do you like, Kiss and stuff?

Of course

I've never...

Y'know,
Kissed another guy before

Well, it's pretty f*cking awesome

My roommate...

Plough me

Plough me with your monstrous tool!

So, yeah

I have an excruciatingly
Hot, straight roommate

Wassup I'm Thor

Like the comic Yup!

And his name really is Thor

As in the superhero
God of Thunder

With the giant hammer

I sleep naked
I hope that doesn't weird you out

It's a perpetual t*rture

Plus of course he's a surfer,
Dumb as a box of rocks

AKA, exactly my type

I'm like really into Gran Turismo 5

And before that I was into SOCOM

And oh yeah!
Killzone!

I get with guys sometimes

Sexually I mean

And also, I like to surf

Do you surf, dude?

The guy sounds like a f*cking asstard

My partner-in-crime
Stella

Stella and I first met
way back in 9th Grade

I refuse to do this assignment
Cause you're

A sexist loser who has no f*cking clue
What you're talking about

Are you sure it's not straight love Or in
love with another oblivious boy fixation?

It's just that I'm not sure
How straight Thor really is

You said he was putting a load
In some pinhead stryer last night

Yeah, but doing it with women
Doesn't necessarily make him straight

Case in point

The fact that you randomly sometimes

Stick it in a girl does not mean anything

Beyond you
Need to monitor your drinking

Here we go

Now he's your typical straight guy, right?

When it comes to sloppiness, and manners

And scratching his balls
In public

Or like eating half a piece of pizza
On someone's coffee table

However, he also does
Stuff like that...

He wears deodorant every single day

And he exfoliates every night

Religiously, with one of those vibrating
Derma-brasion things

Plus, he's a little too

Into his own body
Like beyond a normal

Straight guy who works out
Admiring his self kinda way

Are we done?

No
I saved the weirdest thing for last

He wears flip flops like
Almost everyday, right?

Very hetero, very dude, choice

Except for the fact
He has a whole collection of them

Which he keeps in a color coordinated row

In his closet

Wow, except from putting
a d*ck in your mouth

With Lady Gaga playing
in the background

That's about as gay as it gets

See?
I told you

Smith, I'm kidding

It's all cute and fun
When you're 15

But we're legal adults now

In college

Anyway

I gotta get to class

Me too Where are you headed?

Imagination Theory

I'm beginning to wonder if being an Art
major in a college of Creative Studies

Is a little too hippy dippy
Even for me

Hey, dudes!

The Messiah

Our pothead RA who is baked 24/7

What's goin' on?

We were just on our way to class

That's cool

I'd a really freaky dream last night

We'd love to hear all about it
But...

Both of you Were in it

And the whole world...

Blew up

In a horrible nuclear catastrophe

Great, thanks Messiah Goodbye

Majoring in Film Studies
Is something I wanted to do all my life

Eventhough it is a little anachronistic

Considering there is real doubt
As to whether cinema

As we know will even exist
Anymore in the next few years

It's kinda like devoting your life

To studying an animal
That's on the verge of extinction

Smith, college is just
an intermission between

high school and the
rest of your life

It's 4 years of having sex

Making stupid mistakes
And experiencing stuffs

It's a pitstop
Not the second coming of the Messiah

Speaking of, it was sorta bizarre
What the Messiah was saying this morning

No kidding

What's that guy's deal?
He's gotta be like 30 at least

Yeah I've been having
Weird dreams lately too

What do you think it means?

It's a well-known fact
that dreams are just

Your brain taking a dump
at the end of the day

It don't mean anything

Hey dude

Let me guess

Thor Wassup?

Thor, this is my best friend Stella
Stella, Thor

Mind if I join?

Whatcha major in, Stella?

Art

Oh really?
Cool

Yeah Cool

Are you gay, or whatever too?

Or just like...

Normal?

Hey, Messiah

Smith!

Got something for you

What is it?

Someone slipped it
Under my door this morning

You Are The Chosen Son

What does it say?

"The Chosen Son?"

What the crap's that supposed to mean?

I have no idea

Oh, hey dude

What are you doing?

What does it look like I'm doing?

Trying to suck your own d*ck?

Bingo

I've been reading on the Internet

That if you do these
Flexibility exercises twice a day

You'll be able to give yourself
A blowjob in 3 weeks

I'll email you the link

That's ok
- You sure?

It's a useful skill to have, y'know?

In case you hit a dry spell...
You ever taste your own cum?

Not a whole load, mind you?
But y'know if you

sh**t really hard and some gets
In your mouth by accident

Mine's not bad actually

Kinda vanilla-ish
- Really, can we change the subject?

Oh, bro!

What's it with you and your friend?

Who, Stella?

Yeah, the uptight d*ke

Yeah I know she can be a little aloof
When you first meet her, but she's actually

Super hot
In a bitter, edgy les kinda way

You think I have any sh*t
At hitting that?

I just threw up a little
In my mouth

I know
Hello I'm obsessed with you

And you're into my vagitarian best friend?

It's like I told you
That guy's a toad

I've met plants
With better personalities

And what do you make of him
Trying to blow himself... this afternoon

He likes having a sword swallowed
Not exactly a revelation

So anyways The party tonight

You're going

Lorelei, this hot girl from my
Emotion Painting class invited me

Lorelei?

As in legendary siren luring
Helpless sailors to their doom?

Yeah I know

She's gorgeous and I need a wingman
So you're drafted

So that you can hook up
And ditch me after 5 seconds?

Basically

Nice hat by the way
Are we in Paris?

Well, it's about time assh*le
- I know

It's been awhile
I'm sorry, I've just been super busy

Don't worry bout it, hon
I work my ass off

Keeping a roof over your head
For the past 18 years

How's college life?

Oh, sh*t, sweetie

That's Australia on the other line
Can I ring you back in 15?

I'm going to a party with Stella I'll just
call you later this weekend or something

Sure you will

There she is

Lorelei!

That's her?

I know Effing hot, right?

Smith, Lorelei...
Lorelei... this is Smith

Have we met before?

No

I'm sorry, I...

Anyway...
Shall we hit the bar?

Definitely

Are you gonna be okay?
- Yeah I'll be fine

Just a minute

Can you hold on?

Can you hurry it up in there
I'm gonna piss like a banshee

Hello, are you giving birth
To a marine in there or what?

Finally!

What happened to your shoe?

A drunk girl barfed on it

Nice hat

Yeah Same to you

London

Huh?
- I'm London

You don't expect me to shake that hand
Before you wash it

Sorry gay dude

Excuse me?

Well you are, right?

What?

Gay

I don't really believe in
Standardized sexual pejoratives

So you're bi?
- Not exactly

You do it with guys and girls, right?
Depending on which way your Peter points?

It's...

A little more...

Complicated

Life doesn't have to be so complicated
Neither does sex

Are you okay?

What was the question again?

Do you wanna f*ck?

What?
- Do You Want To f*ck?

I just so happen to find q*eer guys hot
So my thing

Dude, keep it simple

You, me, intercourse

Yes, no?

What?!
I'll drive

What are you doing?

What do you think?

Maybe We should wait
Till we get back to your place

Why?

It's kinda dangerous
I mean I'm trying drive here

I live with danger

Me too

I'm gonna cum

Do it, do it
Just let me do it more

Did you cum too?

No, it's kinda hard for me
In that position

But it was really cool watching you

Wait You didn't cum?

Whatever, I'm good

What kinda guy are you?

If I didn't just have your d*ck inside
of me I swear you didn't have one

I got this kinda weird thing

Where I'm really into making
Whoever I'm with, cum

Now that Really turns me on

I happen to take pride
In being scandalously great in bed

So if you think you're going
Home without cumming

Forget it

Ahh, feels so good!

Oh God...!

Wait

Don't cum yet

I want to show you something

What?

Just lay back, and relax
- Alright

Are you ready?

You're not even touching me But it's
like I can feel your mouth on my...

Cool, huh?

How do you do that?

I have special talents

What do you mean?

That was so hot

I almost came again
Just watching you

Don't get any ideas OrgasMomatic

I gotta get some sleep

What are you doing?

No offence dude...

I'm really not into the whole...

Sleepover breakfast thing

Here, gimme your number

So...

See you?

Help! They're coming!
They're coming to get me!

Please! We gotta get outta here!
Come on!

Wow Talking bout a bad trip

What kinda dr*gs were you on anyway?

That's just it I'm not sure

It was so vivid And real

I must have blacked out or something cause
When I woke up

I don't know how much later
The animal-masked men, the red-haired girl

They were nowhere to be found

Smith, you were hallucinating

I can't believe I let you drag me out of
A very sexy d*ke's bed for this

That's the other thing, How do you
explain me seeing Lorelei in a dream

Before I even met her

Could be because there's more Lorelei
Than meets the eye

What do you mean?

She's a witch

A... what?

She's a witch

Y'know...
Supernatural powers, casts spells

I know Pretty cool, huh?

Dude, we've been searching
All morning and found

No footprints, no blood, zilch
- I know

And now you wanna spend the rest of the day

Poring over the entire student population
In the campus directory?

You got something better to do?

Sucking a fart
Out of a dead seagull's ass?

Stella! Stella!
- I'm awake



Come here

Are you sure that's her?

So what do we do now?

Start calling every O'Hara
In the phonebook I guess?

And...
Say what?

"Hi. I was tripping balls last night
And you were in my dream"

What are you doing here?
- I came to rescue you

Oh my God, Awesome

Smith...

Go ahead Bail

Hi, I was lookin' for a Madeleine
O'Hara... Is there...

Okay, sorry to bother you
Thank you

What are you doing?

Who is this?

The girl you f*cked last night

Hi, sorry...
- I repeat, what are you doing?

I was kinda in the middle of something
Right now

I'm stressed about this exam
I have on Monday

I was thinking

I could really use a good orgasm

Thanks

I needed that

What?

Nothing

I just, I just think you...

Cool

Yeah?
You're cool too

Now where are you going?

I told you
I have a massive test Monday

And I'm still here

So that's it
We both cum and you leave?

Pretty much Is there a problem?

Eventhough we just met

I feel...

This weirdly intense connection with you

I know Me too

Sure you can't stay
A little bit longer?

Is that you...

Or Smith junior talking?

Both

As much as I love to help
The two of you out

I gots to study

What's this?

Last night after I left your place

I was walking out
By the lagoon and

What?

I know her

What?

I know her Know her

She was in my Sociology class

She was always strung out
Totally f*cked up

Last week
she passed out in the middle of a lecture

And what happened?

Paramedics came and took her away

Well, last night

I had this insanely intense

Vision of her getting m*rder*d

By 3 guys in animal masks

Did you say animal masks?

Why?

Oh, sorry

You guys boning?

I was just leaving

I'll call you

Hi

Errr... can you move your
Fat ass out of my way?

Thanks

I'm Thor By the way

Yeah I'm sure you are

Who was that?

Wow
I think that broke my all-time record

You tired already?

We've been going at it
For 5 hours

I mean I love sex
As much as anyone else

But if I cum anymore tonight
My crude is just gonna break

But I wanna make love again

You're kidding, right?

What are you?
Some kind of insatiable sex maniac?

Too bad, I'm b*at

Buzzkill

What was that?

What What are you talking about?

I felt that Lorelei
I know what you're doing, it's not...

Hello
- Smith, what are you doing?

Walking home from the library

Why?
What's wrong?

You gotta rescue me

It turns out Lorelei is a little bit crazy
Like a shithouse rat

I told you
There was something scary about her

Look I'm gonna make up
An excuse about you

Having some kinda crisis
That I'll meet you back at your place

Stella, what?
What's going on?

She walked on

Stella...
Stella are you in there?

I'm just peeing

What's taking so long?

I miss you

Be out in a sec

I gotta go...
- Wait, Stel

sh*t

sh*t!

Help!
Somebody help!

Smith?
What's wrong?

The door

It was stuck

Are you alright, man?

Yeah...
I'm fine

Who's there?

The Queen of f*cking England
Who do you think?

Get in!

- What the...?
- Just come here quick

What?
- Look!

Yeah that's a beautiful parking lot Smith

They were just down there

Who?
What are you talking about?

The animal masks men

You mean the ones you hallucinated?

I'm not hallucinating now

I think that something really
f*cking freaky is going on

Oh, sorry Were you two...

Gross!
No

You must be Smith's new girlfriend

Huh?
- She's kidding

Madeleine O'Hara, the red-haired girl...

London says she was in her Sociology class
And then went missing about a week ago

Well that's why I came by

She may have turned up

What do you mean?

Is Oceanography, that building past

Madigan Hall
Way out on the west side of campus

Right by the lagoon?

I don't know What's going on?

It could just be a coincidence

But I was studying tonight
In the library

And there on the floor

I saw this...

Unidentified Headless Female Torso Found
In Oceanography Department Dumpster

Days passed

I searched the news religiously but There
was no word on the body in the dumpster

I started to wonder
If maybe I really was losing my mind

To clear my head
I went to this nude beach

A few miles from campus

I've never been to
One before in my life

So one morning before class
I checked it out

I gotta say
It was a little nerve-wracking

But kinda liberating

Lying there with the sun, and the breeze
The smell of the ocean

All my worries
All the weird sh*t going on

Everything melted away

But then...

How's it goin'?

Mind if I join you?

Hunter

Smith

You come here often?

This is my first time

I didn't think I'd seen ya around

You in school?

Yeah. You?
- f*ck, no

I build and design hot tubs

Oh really?

Wait...

Do you like Do this a lot?

What do you mean?

This...

Oh, hey dude!

What's going on?
- Teaching this f*g a lesson

Yeah, who's teaching who yeah f*g?

Smith, this is my best bud Rex
Rex, Smith

Wassup, man

Well
I was just gonna grab a shower

Alright hey man, if you
want it you should try

Some of that awesome new
conditioner I just got

It's the one on my sofa
With the French name

Listen to yourself
You sound like a huge f*cking f*g!

Ok f*g, that's it!
I'm kicking your giant h*m* ass!

Who's the f*g now huh?

You, f*gg*t f*g steak!

What's that?
- f*g burger with a side of f*g fries

Yeah...
I'm just gonna...

You meet some guy on the nude beach

And 5 minutes later, you're downloading
his hard drive in the back of a van?

You're a slut

Really?

So did you dump Lorelei yet?

I'm trying to pull away
But she's not exactly making it easy

You're not inviting me in?

I'm kinda tired
And I have a super early class tomorrow

Is something wrong?

No, I'm just tired

Aren't you gonna kiss me goodnight?

Uhmmm...
Sure

Well, ummm...
Goodnight

I love you

Yeah...
Me too

I know I have to end it
But my experience with psychopaths

Like her
You have to ease away very gradually

The sooner the better
Before she pulls something really nutty

I told you nothing's wrong
I just gotta finish this project

You're not avoiding me Are you?

Of course not

If you're lying
That would make me very upset

I'm not lying babe

Look, I need to get back to work

I'll call you tomorrow, alright?

What time tomorrow?

After class

I'll be counting the minutes

Okay
- I love you

Me too

Goodnight

Hi, Smith

I hope you don't think
This is too creepy stalker of me

But I'm too much of a social ret*rd to
Walk up and say Hi like a normal person

In case you're wondering

I got your e-mail from the
Explosions in the Sky's Facebook page

So at least
We have this much in common

Anyways I was wondering
If you maybe wanna get together

Have coffee or something

If not, then uh...

Have a great life I guess

Okay, I'm gonna stop now before
I chicken out and toss this in the trash

Yeah, I'm Oliver By the way

So I've been meaning to ask

The other day when I mentioned
The animal masks guys

You seemed kinda weirded out

It seems appropriate

It's a weird story

Is it your Mom?

How did...

Your face

My Mom's okay
She did the best she could

Raising me on her own...
Working full-time

What about your Dad?

He d*ed in a car accident
When I was a baby

I'm sorry

I never knew him so it's kinda like
I don't even have a father

I don't see my Dad either
He was an alcoholic

Abandoned us when I was little

I guess we have more in common
Than we thought

What are you looking at now?

It's just my roommate's friend

Smith's got a crush!

I do not have a crush

You're hooked for him like you're Hooked
for that shaved egg roommate of yours

When I walked in
They were both rolling around

On the floor
Wrestling in their underwear

Straight guys are gayer than gay guys
The fact that they're in love but can't

Suck each other's d*ck
Makes them queerer than Clay Aiken

What...
What are you doing?

I inviting him over

Chillax Just having some fun

Here he comes

Hey

Rex, this is my friend London
London, Rex

You look lonesome
Want some company?

Sure Thanks

We were just talking about sex

She's kidding

So Rex,
Have you ever heard of the Kinsey scale?

It's a rating system
For sexual orientation


And 6, 100% gay

Smith here is probably a 3 or 4

While I'm like a 1.5

Why don't we talk about something else?

Kinsey discovered that only 5 to


What do you think your number is?

Zero I guess...?

Boring

You wanna f*ck anyway?

Are you out of your f*cking mind?

Dude don't worry
I'll give you the 4-1-1 after

Okay

Excuse me?

Let's have sex

Just with you, though Right?

Yeah, that's it!

Oh don't stop
You're doing great!

Are you joking?

Sorry - I've had pelvic
exams last longer than that

It's just...
You felt so good

What are you, 14?
Wow!

I'll be hard again in a few

And it lasts way longer
The second time around, I swear

Oh joy!

In the meantime
I'll eat your p*ssy or something

This just keeps getting
Better and better doesn't it?

C'mon Let me make it up to you

Yeah that's it, baby
I just want to make you feel good

What the hell's going on down there?

What do you think you're doing?
- Eating you out

Dude, it's a vag*na
not a bowl of spaghetti

I don't know
What your f*cking problem is

But I've gone down on lots of girls
And never had any complaints

Maybe they're faking it to
Spare your fragile male ego?

Look, you want a few
Constructive pointers?

I don't need pointers

Trust, you so do

And you know what a clit is, right?

Yeah I know what a clit is

Think of it as a little girl d*ck

And treat it accordingly
Imagine what your d*ck likes

Kiss it, tease it with your tongue

Suck it, even nibble it a little

Just make sure you true-to-God
Treat it with the utmost care and respect

Which brings us to the number one
Golden rule of oral

Pay attention to how she's reacting

If she seems into something

Keep doing that same thing
Over and over and over

It's about finding the rhythm she likes
And sticking to it until the job is done

Got it

You want a practical?

So ready

Well, get busy son

Hey
- So we hooking up or what?

Excuse me?

I thought maybe you
might wanna have sex so

that You can do Rex via
the transfer property

If A fucks B, and B fucks C
It's like A fucks C by default

As appealing as you make that sound
I'll pass

You're not curious?

About...

What Rex is like in bed

Oh hey
- Hey

I just came by to pick up some stuff

Is everything alright?

Yeah Totally

Well late

See ya

What was that about?
- I don't know, got me

What is it?

I set a Google Alert For any news
of the dead girl in the dumpster

Did they finally identify her?
- Maybe

What?

It's gone
- What's gone?

The torso

Someone stole it
From the coroner's office

Today's the day

My 19th birthday

My morning starts out
Like any other

But very quickly
Weirdness takes over

And now what begins?
- The hell if I know

It's just freaking me out
Because the minute I woke up

I was overwhelmed by this vague sense

That some sort of
Major shift has occurred

Well I finally did break up with Lorelei
this morning

Yeah How did that go?

Yikes Then what happened?

This isn't over Stella

You have no f*cking idea
What you're getting yourself into

So are you worried?

Does Mel Gibson hate Jews?

Anyway, let's change the subject

Any word yet from what's-his-name?

Oswald?
- Oliver

No, I spent literally hours
honing my reply of a masterpiece

That's definitely interested but
Not too desperate for this

How long's it been?

Three days

I know

So, don't forget

We're seeing Helen Stellar
Tonight over in Ocean City

That's right!

f*ck me!

Smith!
What happened?

Smith stepped into dog sh*t

And it's his birthday

Happy f*cking birthday!

Could this day get any worse?

Hello?
- Smith?

Hi, who is this?

Hunter

Who?

Hunter From the beach?

Oh hi, sorry
I didn't recognize your voice

That's okay Just playing back

In my mind the good time we had

Started getting a chub
Just thinking about it

So, I'm sure you have an important class
Or something to go to?

I'm totally free all afternoon

Sweet Wanna come down?

I'm on my way

I'll f*ck you

Just a second!

Hold on!

Hey!

Dude, you don't have to hide your p*rn
I'm not your Mom

What do you mean?

Like you think the unmistakable sound of
gay p*rn Doesn't penetrate these walls?

Alright, biatch

You made your point

So I gather your tawdry hook-up
At the beach was a bust?

His cell went just when
He was going down on me

It's my wife

You're married?
- Yeah, I thought I told you

Gotta run, we'll take care
Of this guy later

Can you believe it?

Since it's you Yes

Anyway...
Happy Birthday monkey-spanker

What's this? You already got me
The Helen Stellar tickets

Shut up and open it already

Oh my God...
How did you...

I contacted them through their website
and they autographed it for me

This is so awesome Thank you

What are you doing right now?

Uhmm, I'm just Talking to Stella

Can you meet me in my room
In 20 minutes?

I have a birthday surprise for you

This is making me a little uncomfortable

Do you want your surprise
Or do you want to complain?

I'm not complaining

I really appreciate the effort
But...

London?

London, c'mon This isn't funny

Chill pill I'm right here

Can you please take
The blindfold off?

Seriously, you've had enough fun for...

Happy birthday

So epic

I know, I'm not gonna
Be able to hear for a week

I must admit after a shaky start

This may be the best birthday ever

Smith?

I thought that was you

Hey It's Oliver

Well, I'm just...

Uh huh
I'll meet you back at the car

So...

I just wanted to say...

Eat sh*t and k*ll yourself

Wait, what the f*ck is that?
You're pissed at me?

Just next time someone puts
Their balls on the line like that

At least be man enough to respond!

I did respond, I sent an email
That was so long

And overbaked I thought I scared you off

Dude, I'm already over it

You don't have to lie

I'm not lying, I did want to
go out with you I still do

Are you f*cking with me now?

No

Just let me take you to dinner
And I'll prove it

Here, so we don't have
To rely on emails

Gimme your number
And I'll give you mine

I have a huge paper due Friday

But that night I'm totally open

Me too

Cool

So It's a date

You aren't gonna...

Flake again, are ya?

I'm calling you No matter what

Even if the world ends

I better get back to my friends They're
probably wondering what happened to me

Alright

See ya

So should I call him?

What?

Should I give Oliver a call, just to say
"Hi, it was nice running into you"

Good idea, let him know you're a
need-ball freak Right off the bat

Really?

Smith, the universe is finally smiling
on you And everything is going your way

Don't f*ck it up
- Yeah right, okay

Can you pull over at the next stop
I haveta pee like a pregnant woman

Hello?

I'm sorry!
I'm sorry!

I didn't mean to

Are you alright?

Yeah

I was just dozed off

Do you remember me?

I think we've met before

At a party

I've never seen you before
In my life

You barfed on my shoe

And later that night

I saw three men
In animal masks...

I don't know what you're talking about

Are you sure?

Look I told you...

I don't know anything

Please I gotta go

Madeleine?

Madeleine O'Hara

What do you know
About the animal-masked men?

You gotta tell me

I had a twin sister

Named Rebecca

And when we were little...

Men in animal masks
Came and took her away

Dude, you already googled Rebecca O'Hara

On your BlackBerry
And got a million hits of nothing

Deal with it tomorrow

You're right. Let's just try to enjoy
Whatever's left of my birthday

So how does it feel to be 19?

Now what is it?

Nothing I'm just tired

So, any more crazy messages
From Lorelei?

Well, seems to have d*ed down a little
So that's promising

Who knows
Maybe I was over-reacting

I mean I know how hell hath no fury and all
But could be, she's

Not as bonkers as we thought

Stella What's wrong?

I don't know, do you think
Maybe I'm being too much of a wimp?

Dude, you have a Fatal Attraction stalker

With supernatural powers
You've got every right to be creeped out

Yeah, okay Sold

I'm gonna give you the bed, lady

You want an Ambien?
- No

Thank you. After the day
we've had Don't think

I'm gonna have any
trouble falling asleep

Me neither, but I wanna be so knocked out I
don't want how many more gnarly nightmares

So where's Board Knight?

He disappears sometimes
For a few days

I assume he's off somewhere
Burying his bone in some...

Smith c'mon That's not funny

Smith, I'm not kidding
Cut it out

Smith, what the f*ck
You're freaking me out, stop it

It's not Smith

Smith, stop f*cking around

Stella, I told you

It's not Smith

I warned you Stella

I warned you not to do this

f*ck you, Lorelei

This isn't real

This isn't really happening
- Oh it's happening alright

Believe me...

It's happening

I'm dreaming I must be dreaming

Wake up!
Wake up, c'mon...!

Wake up...!

Till Death Do Us Part

Lorelei!
I know you're out there!

Stop hiding and show your f*cking face
You f*cking coward!

f*ck you, you crazy bitch!
You hear me? f*ck you...

f*ck you!

Holy f*cking sh*t!

Why are you...

I was up all night
I didn't sleep at all

Smith, what's going on?

I woke up
In the middle of the night...

And I found this IM

Telling me to go to this address

You ever heard of the New Order?

The seminal New Wave band from the 80s?

No Here, I'll show you

It's like this secret underground cult

What?

The address
It's not in my browser history

Are you sure you weren't just
Having some kinda sugar-induced nightmare?

Stella, I'm not making this up

It's gone, all of it
The site, the IMs

Stel, I'm not crazy
I was on this site

It had a list

Of all these ostracized members

Number 1 on the list was...

Her name was Rebecca Novak

Rebecca, as in the name of
The red-haired girl's twin

So why does she have a different
Last name?

I don't know
Maybe she was adopted or something

Anyway...

That Rebecca girl

she had this whole litany of transgressions

Blasphemy, sedition, treason

And her penance

Was death

And there's something else
Even weirder

On the website, they had a photo
Of the cult's leader

Like their L. Ron Hubbard
The whole thing

The Supreme One

And he looked like...

My Dad

What the f*ck are you talking about
Your Dad is dead

I found this in the trash
When I was little

I always kept it a secret

The guy on the website
That's him

I know it

Oh Milo...
It hurts so good

Tight session
You were really in the zone today

I had a lot of tension to work out
- I could tell

So is there anything else
I can do for you?

Well for starters
You can get out of those f*cking clothes

Now what?

Oh I've got a few ideas

And they're absolutely Filthy

Oh oh Hold that

Hello?
- Mom?

Smith, I'm in the middle of a meeting
Can I call you right back?

It's kinda important
It's about Dad

What about him?

I just got a couple of questions
- Alright

He d*ed when I was a baby, right?

Yeah, in a car accident
You know all this already, what's going on?

Mom, I just have to know
Is there anything you're not telling me?

No, there is not
This chapter of our life has been closed

For a long time

What was Dad's last name?

Did he go by any other aliases?

Smith, look
I'm hanging up now okay?

Stop asking questions about your father

For your own good

Mom, wait...

London?

My Dad's alive?

He got his PhD in psychology

His research focused on an obscure

Community of hippies
Devoted to this book...

An Ideal for Living

Your father spent years
studying the techniques

That leaders use to
control the group

In the early 90s,
he took the cult head for himself

How do you know all this?

My father wasn't an alcoholic
He was in the cult too

Ever since I can remember
My Dad would disappear

Then one night
When I was around 10

We never saw him again

And what does all this
Have to do with me?

You're the first-born male child
Of the Supreme One

The Chosen Son

What about you?

Did you know who I was
All this time?

So that night we met
At the party

I was following you

But only because I was hoping
You might be able to lead me to my father

But our friendship,
Everything that's happened since then

None of that was planned

You believe me, don't you?

I'm not sure what I believe in anymore

Messiah!

The end...

The end is near

Hello?

So you're saying, her body just
Vanished into thin air

It was the freakiest f*cking thing
One minute I'm checking her for a pulse...

She seems dead Cold as stone

So I run out to grab my cell to call 9-1-1

And by the time I got back
I swear it was like 10 seconds later

She's gone

I know it sounds nuttier
Than squirrel sh*t

Well, strange seems to be
The new normal lately

What about Messiah?

Did the doctors say
He was just tripping or what?

His pupils were like
Big black suns

They're running a bunch of tests

Smith?

Mom What is it, what's wrong?

I need you to drop whatever you're doing
And come home immediately

What...
What are you talking about?

I can't say anything more

They're probably listening to us
Right now

Who's listening?

Mom, are you in some kinda danger?
Maybe you should call the police

No, no police, they can't be trusted
They're part of it

Look, no more questions okay?

Just get in your car
And come home

Smith, I'm not kidding

Do it Now!

Smith, don't worry I'm sure your Mom
Will explain everything when we get there

I just can't stop thinking about

What the Messiah said

You mean all that
"End is Near" sh*t?

Stella, I have the exact same feeling

And it keeps getting progressively
More and more intense

Like...

What if this really
Is the beginning...

Of the end?

Hello

Smith, where are you?

Dude, me and Stella are driving
To L.A. for the night

Actually it's a family emergency

Is everything okay?

Hope so What's going on?

Well, I just called the hospital

The Messiah's gone

How could someone who's barely even
conscious Just up and disappear?

Nobody knows what happened to him

That's not the only thing

What?

The results of his toxicology
Report came back

They discovered traces of dioxin
in his bloodstream

Dioxin?

You mean,
Like that Russian spy dude?

Yeah The Messiah was poisoned

Are you sure
You're gonna be alright?

It's just I don't know
how my Mom's gonna

React and it might be
touchy feely family...

Don't worry about me

Just call or text whenever
The coast is clear

Thanks Stel

For everything

Smith, everything's gonna be fine

Mom?

Hello?

Smith, you alright?

Come on, let's get outta here!

Smith, hurry up!

What are you doing?
What is it?

London?
Smith, I was just about to call you

There's something really weird going on

What do you mean?

All the highest-ranking members of The
New Order seem to be heading out of town

It's a mass migration

We're heading back now

Listen

I have something major to tell you

I think my Mom's been kidnapped

What?
- She's missing and we found her Blackberry

And there's all this information on it

What kind of information?

A bunch of incriminating documents about
My Dad and the New Order

It's so much huger
Than just some sick little cult

It's like this whole secret society and

Infiltrating the media, government
Even the police are involved

But look, that's not all

My Dad had dozens of wives

Like he basically slept with
Anyone in the cult he wanted

As a result, he has all these
Illegitimate children

And he's your biological father

And you're my half-sister

London

London, are you still there?

I'm here Smith

Look, you just need to get back here
Soon...

London?

London, what's going on?
What's happening?

London...

London Open up!

f*ck!

This always works on my room

First The Messiah, then my Mom, now London
What's f*cking next!

What are you gonna do?

We gotta get outta here,
just pack some stuffs In a

bag, I'll meet you in your
room in like 5 minutes

- What?
- Stel, just do it!

Five minutes, hurry
And watch your back!

Mom, what happened
Who did this to you?

What are you waiting for?
We don't have all night

Blow me, f*g
Who made you queen for the day?

Dudes, seriously

This is no time for dicking around

Smith?
Smith?

Messiah?
Jesus, you gave me a freakin' heart att*ck

Stella, there's no time to explain
Where is Smith?

I think he's been kidnapped

f*ck!
- Messiah, what the sh*t is going on?

Come with me
I'll explain on the way

On the way where?
What are you talking about?

Stella, we may already be too late
Just come on

Welcome back, dude

What is this?

Finally!

The Chosen Son awakes

Can someone please tell me
What the f*ck is happening?

It's Day Zero

What the hell is Day Zero?

It's New Order codespeak
For the day the world ends

Dude I'm sure you heard it before But you
gotta cut way back on your weed intake

As a matter of fact...

I've never touched that stuff

The stoner thing was just a front

I'm actually part of a covert group
Operation called The Resistance

And it's our mission, to wipe out
The New Order once and for all

Oliver?

So lemme get this straight
You guys are both ex-members

Of the New Order who are
Now like spies trying to destroy it?

In grossly simplified terms Yes

My girlfriend Rebecca
Is also in the movement

Rebecca Novak?

The red-haired girl

She's your girlfriend?

She was

Before she was m*rder*d

The cult performs secret initiations
Involving underage girls

Who are either abducted or donated
By their f*cked up parents

Rebecca was working undercover
Videotaping the rituals for the FBI

Smith saw that video
It was on the USB drive he said got stolen

We suspect Thor and Rex are
responsible for that - Thor?

And Rex?

So all 3 of you have been
Spying on me this whole time?

Dude, you're the Chosen Son

We have to monitor and report
Your every move

Hers too

Where are you taking us now?

Go ahead, tell him

Tell me what?

We're taking you
To meet your father

Where are they Oliver?
Do you see them?

Yeah, I got them
They're heading east on I-10

You're some kinda witch too?
Like Lorelei?

The New Order tests all its members'
Offspring for the "gift"

A certain type of brain activity
indicating a predisposition

For paranormal ability

Subjects displaying a high level
Of this marker

Are inducted into a program with
Intensive psychotropic treatment

To cultivate those skills

And that's what happened to you?

And Lorelei?

Some come out of the program
Severely damaged

With a laundry list
Of personality disorders

Others don't make it at all

Smith's gift is exceptionally strong

Smith has psychic powers too?

They're just dormant
Like seeds that haven't germinated

Now that he's turned 19

It looks like the Prophecy
Is coming true

What's the Prophecy?

It's based on a recurring dream
Of your father's

The Chosen Son will return to the fold
In its 19th year

And the world as we know it

Will be destroyed in a nuclear holocaust

You're sh1tting me

The New Order has warheads Strategically
planted in every major city in the world

World w*r 3 can be started
With the push of a button

But won't they obliterate
Themselves in the process?

The cult has a massive underground lair
Called the Secret Sanctum

Specially designed to survive
A nuclear disaster

So after the great Apocalypse

The New Order will be all that's left

When the Prophecy transpires
You'll inherit the Kingdom

You're gonna be like
The Prince of the new f*cking world

Well if that's true
Why am I tied up

Why do London and my Mom
Have their mouths taped?

Sorry, man
We're just following orders

Though I guess now that we're out

In the middle of nowhere
It's probably okay to let them get some air

What do you guys think?

Why not? But if either of them
mouth off I reserve the right

To plug their face - whole
With my cock

Don't worry

I'll do it nice, and slow

So it won't hurt

Thanks, arse hat

No problemo

Grab her, f*cking douche!
- I'm trying!

Look, is that them?

That van belongs to a Level 4
Night Assignment Smith

So, yes

Well then
What the Jesus are you waiting for?

Floor it!

Who's the girl now?

What the f*ck's wrong
With you pussies?

Jesus!
She's a f*cking girl!

Dude, come on!
Get her!

What the...

Pull over!

Kiss my f*cking starfish h*m*!

What are you doing?

Hang on!

Are you f*cking kidding?!

You couldn't pick a smoother road?

What the hell?

Look out!