[CAN CLATTERS]
[FOOTSTEPS]
[GLASS BOTTLES CLATTER]
[CAT MEOWS]
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Old Man: This is a mistake.
You'll get nothing from me, young man.
I've worked so hard in this life to let-
Thug: Do you wanna end up dead?
Old Man: No, no. Please don't.
Thug: Are you f*cking kidding me?
Wade: Not on my watch, m*therf*cker.
[THUG AND OLD MAN FIGHTING]
[RUNNING]
[PHONE BOOTH DOOR CLOSES]
[OLD MAN AND THUG CONTINUES FIGHTING]
[DIALING]
Deadpool: Can I, please, speak to Laird.
No? Okay.
No, just tell him Wade called.
Thank you.
Old Man: There's gotta be somebody hearing me.
Thug: Give me your wallet.
Old Man: Can you hear me.
HELP!!
[PHONE BOOTH CLATTERS]
[ZIPPER CLOSES]
[g*n FIRES]
[CROWS CAW]
Deadpool: Okay, okay, okay, okay.
[PHONE BOOTH DOOR OPENS]
Stan Lee: Wow, nice suit.
Deadpool: Zip it, Stan Lee.
[MUSIC PALYING]
[MUSIC STOPS]
Deadpool: Oh, Jesus.
Oh, that's not good.
No, no, no. Oh, you're not gonna walk that one off.
Oh, that's so gross.
[SIGHS] I'm so sorry.
I... I... I spent way too long in the phone booth.
If I'm being honest with myself,
I probably should've just called 911.
Well, [SIGHS] What matters now?
Cause I think we're both [GRUNTS]
missing the real point here.
[SIGHS] The f*ck is a phone
booth doing on a street corner?
Didn't those disappear in '98?
[SCOFFS]
Suppose I could've just used my cell.
Ooh!
Cherry Garcia ice cream.
You gonna eat this?
Don't answer now.
[CAP CLATTERS]
Just rest.
[SIGHS]
I mean, actually, I made a call. It was to the costumer.
His name is Laird.
He usually helps me put the suit on.
[SIGHS]
I don't know how the other guys do it so quickly.
And you probably wouldn't be dead if it was Logan.
What's he gotta change into?
[SCOFFS]
Guy wears a f*cking t*nk top and a pair of jeans.
[Mimicking Hugh Jackman][MOCKINGLY]
Yeah, I'd like to get my t*nk top on,
a bit of perspiration, have a nice little crime fighting spree.
Yeah. Happy hugger, call a day.
Deadpool: No Good Deed
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