03x04 - Growing Pains

[bunniefuu]

Adult mark [v.O.]:
Friday was pay day.

The old man
would share the wealth

And give me five dollars
in allowance.

Begrudgingly.

-Now, don't go wasting that.

-I would never.

Adult mark [v.O.]: They say
a fool and his money

Are soon parted.

And I wanted to be a comedian.

-Hello, bethy.
How's the leg?

-Oh, still acting up.

-I'm telling ya, it's gout.

-It's not gout.

The usual?

-Yeah.
I'll take one scratch ticket.

You know what?
I'm feeling lucky today.

Make it a two-dollar ticket.

-Ooh!

Adult mark [v.O.]: I felt like
a high roller in vegas.

But really, I was more like
jack buying magic beans.

-Ah, free ticket!

♪

♪

Five bucks!

-One of these days, you're
gonna blow your whole allowance.

-But today is not
that day, bethy.

See ya next week.

Adult mark [v.O.]: I didn't
have stocks or bonds

Or even a piggy-bank.

My money was all
tied up in comic books.

The front window...

Only the top books
were displayed there.

They were too rich
for my blood,

But a boy could dream.

-New alpha flight in yet?

-It's on the rack.

♪

♪

Adult mark [v.O.]:
Alpha flight, my favourite.

Canada's own superhero team.

They even had a newfoundlander.

I liked my fantasy homegrown.

-How much is that
x-men in the window?

-It's a classic.

Still 40 bucks.

Adult mark [v.O.]: That's
a lot of scratch tickets.

-One day.

Just the alpha flight for now.

[buttons beep]

Adult mark [v.O.]: I still
got a rush from paper.

But my friends were
on another level...

Literally.

[the who - "pinball wizard"
playing]

♪

♪

♪ ever since I was
a young boy ♪

♪ I played the silver ball

♪ from soho down to brighton,
I must have played them all ♪

Adult mark [v.O.]: The games
arcade was like a night club.

But it didn't sell liquor.

It sold something
far more intoxicating,

Far more addictive.

♪

-Friggin' packin' spiders!

-I'm next when you die.

-Frig off. I don't die!

Adult mark [v.O.]: Putting
a quarter down on fox's game

Was like pouring a glass
of water into the ocean.

There was just no point.

-Ritche, check it out.
I got the new alpha flight.

Canada's own superheroes.

Wolverine used to be
a member, and marina,

She's like a girl aquaman,
and she's from newfoundland!

-Oh, wow...

Cool.

-Comics?
What are you, nine?

Middle fox: What a tool!

-Hey, no! That's mint!
Don't mess with--

[middle fox laughs]

♪

-Near-mint.

Ritche: Dude,
you're embarrassing yourself.

The games arcade
is for big kids.

-So are comics.
It's a growing art form.

Frank miller's
dark knight is just--

-Shut up, ya baby!
I'm going for the high score!

-Wanna play me in doubles?

-Well, I think video games
are a waste of money.

Besides,
too many blinking lights.

Bad for my seizures.

-What a loser.

Lend me some money.

-No.
-Why?

-You just called me a loser.

-Fair.
-Fox: I got it, okay, okay.

-Ritche: It's right there!
-They're not just comics.

-They're collectibles.
-Don't care.

-I'll have you know, I have
some key books in my collection,

-And their value is--
-don't care!

-First spidey black suit,
first wolverine brown suit.

-First--
-ugh!

-Look what you did, dink!
-I didn't do anything.

-You distracted me
with your dumb cartoons.

-Comics.

-You still got the high score!

Nice.

-Did you get
the new betty and veronica?

-No, but they have
the new jughead double digest

-If you want me--
-I'm kidding.

I'm not a baby.

We're in grade nine.

Grow up.

♪

-Hey!

-Okay, then.

Doubles?

-Sure.

Adult mark [v.O.]: I'd been
replaced by a machine.

Adult mark [v.O.]:
Who needed them?

So what if I liked comics?

That didn't make me a...

♪

♪

Maybe it was time to
"put away childish things."

[big band music
playing on radio]

-You've got this thing on bust!

-Huh?

I can't hear it now!

-It's plenty loud.

I'm telling ya, you need
to get your ears checked!

Shouting into the phone,
tv always blaring.

If you're not
looking right at me,

You have no idea what I'm saying
at all, do ya, ya crooked arse?

God forgive me.

-Hm, lovely.

Mike sr: I'm home!
Hey, pop.

-Oh, jeez!
Will you stop sneaking up on me?

[radio turns off]

-Ooh!

New phone book!

Adult mark [v.O.]: Nothing
got the old man going

Quite as much as
getting the new phone book.

To him, it was as exciting
as the christmas catalogue.

-C, c...

Adult mark [v.O.]:
It was a chance to see

His name in print.

-Critch...
Michael.

Kenmount road.
Good.

-Mike,
I got something to tell ya.

-In a minute, mary.

You gotta check these things.

The bastards
at the phone company

Are always trying to screw ya.

V...

-We got a new phone.

-No, pop.
Phone book !

We got a new phone book!

Deaf as a post.

-Mike, he's right.

The phone company
was here today.

They swapped out
the old phone for a new phone.

-New one?

[dramatic music]

-Good god!
What was wrong with the old one?

-But this is a touch-tone.

And it's got all these features.

-Features?
-Mm-hm.

Like... Oh, look.

If you dial *69,
it tells you who called.

-I'll know who called
when they say hello.

-But this is for
when you're not here.

-If I'm not here,
I won't know they called!

-Exactly!

-I want my old one back.

-They took it.

Oh, mike...
It's just a phone.

-Well, how much was it?

-Didn't cost us a dime.

-Oh.
-It's a rental.

They just add it
to the bill each...

Month.

-I'm gonna go lie down.

-Mike...

♪

[bedroom door shuts]

-Hello?

-[dial tone]
-[pressing receiver button]

-Ah, damn thing's not working.

-[pressing receiver button]

No dial tone.

[dial tone]

Rubbish.

Adult mark [v.O.]: My comics
were like last year's shoes.

They started to make me
feel uncomfortable

Because I had outgrown them.

-Hm.

-What's that for?

-[exhales]

Good.
I need your help.

-[loudly]
what's that for?

-What?
-What's that for?

-Your mother thinks
I'm losing my hearing.

Psht! I just got a blockage,
that's all.

Now, this is warm olive oil.

I just need you to
pour it into my ear.

-You sure that's a good idea?

-What?

-Forget it.

-Well, what's all this?

-Oh, I...

I'm selling my comics.

-Oh.

Are you sure
that's a good idea?

-I'm too old for comics.

-I really must be deaf.

Come on.

You love your comics.

-I'm not a kid anymore.

-Well, what's your rush?

You know,
growing old is mandatory.

Growing up is optional.

Hm. Now, come and help.

-Careful...
-Uh...

-Yeah.
-Um...

-Okay.
-Yeah.

Easy...
Oh, be careful!

[groaning]

-Any better?
-Oh, no...

I think it's worse.

-Pop...

What's so bad about getting a
hearing aid?

-Everyone will look at me
like I'm old.

-Everybody already
knows you are.

-Yeah, but I don't.

When I stick
that thing in my ear,

Then I'll have to admit it...

To myself.

-Maybe you should
get a hearing aid.

To be honest, you don't
always hear mom and dad,

Even when they're
right next to you.

-Yeah, but that's by choice.

-But...

You don't always hear me either.

I worry sometimes.

-Ah.

I certainly don't want to miss
anything you have to tell me.

I'll tell you what...

You come and get
a hearing aid with me

And I'll go to
the comic store with you

And I'll make sure
you're not ripped off.

-Deal.
-Good.

[groans]

I thought you'd
given up on them.

-Tomorrow.

-Ah.

♪

Adult mark [v.O.]: I couldn't
resist one last look

At a comic under the covers
with a flashlight.

As the years go by,
you start to realize

That it was the little things
that were the big things.

-Night, pop.
-[pop snoring]

-Pop?

♪

Pop: Where is this place?
My back is splitting in two.

-Here it is.

-Wha...?
Oh.

Yeah.

Hey, listen, uh...

Are you sure you wanna do this?

-Yes. I am.

-Onwards.
-Onwards.

Peter: What do we have here?

-I'm here on business.

I've decided to get out
of the comic book game.

I was wondering
what your best price might be.

-Whoa,
x-men: Death of phoenix...

All the new mutants.

Secret wars with the tie-ins?

Alpha flight number one...

X-men 121?

-Their first appearance.

-Are you sure
you want to sell these?

♪

♪

-Mark!

No, it's too much!

-No, mom, please.
It's nothing.

♪

♪

-Excuse me.
Buy a pencil?

Oh...
Mark, I...

Looks like the years
have been kind to you.

-Yes, well...

I did very well
in the comic book market.

-I guess you think I was
pretty stupid to think

Computers would catch on.

-It's okay.

Here, have a game on me.

♪

[car starts]

♪

♪

-I shoulda gotten into comics.

Peter: You sure?

-Hm?
-What?

-I said, "are you sure?"

-Yes.

It's time.
I'm ready.

-And no dicking about!

We want your best price.

-Best I can do
is ten cents a book.

So...



Pop: Wow!

Yeah. Well...

I mean, seems fair to me.

Adult mark [v.O.]: Only
an idiot would take that offer.

-Sold.

[pop chuckles]

Yeah, nice.

Adult mark [v.O.]:
The old man prepared

For a long-distance phone call

As if it was
a m*llitary manoeuvre.

-Mary, turn that radio off,
will ya?

I'm expecting
a phone call at 3:30.

-It's 3:29 now.
-[radio turns off]

Is this thing even on?

-Mike, shove it up yer arse!

-You be quiet!

This is a long-distance
phone call!

From halifax!

Three, two...

[phone ringing]

What the hell is that?

Mary: The phone!

-The old phone
didn't sound like that!

-That's not the old phone!

-Hello?

-Frank: [phone]
mike, how are ya?

-Oh, hello, frank!

Frank: You sound good.

-That's an awfully clear line
for an overseas call.

-Frank: Loud and clear.

-How are things on the mainland?

- Not bad, lousy weather.

-Oh, yes.

-[inaudible] in the hospital...
-[phone beeping]

-What? You're breaking up.

I'm getting a beeping sound
on the line.

-That's the other line.
-What?

-There's a call waiting.
-Yes!

Frank is waiting.
In halifax!

-Give it!
-Frank: Are you there?

-Just a minute, frank.
- Hello?

-Hello?
-Pop: [phone] hello?

I'm at the damned
hearing aid place.

Look, I need
my health card number.

-What do you need that for?
-What?

-Who the hell
are you talking to?

-Pop.
-You hung up on frank!

-No, I didn't!

Won't be long, frank.

Put your friggin'
hearing aid in!

-It's in!

-Well then,
turn it up, ya fool!

-Ow!

Feedback!

-What happened to frank?
-Shh-shh-shh!

It'll just be another second,
frank, my love.

Look, I can't talk right now.

Mike is on the other line

With that arse of
a mainlander friend of his!

Frank: Arse?
Who, me?

-Oh... I'm sorry, frank.

Frank: Now, you listen to me,
mary. I never--

-I think we have a bad line.

-[makes whooshing noise]
-[hangs up phone]

[sighs]

[sighs]

♪

Adult mark [v.O.]:
I was a man now.

And it was time to show everyone
what a man could do.

♪

My comic book money meant
I could roll into

The games arcade

Like james bond stepping up
to a roulette wheel.

♪

♪

[game beeping]

Ritche: You're back?

Adult mark [v.O.]: After all,
how hard could it be?

[game beeping]

-Dah...
Argh!

Adult mark [v.O.]:
The kid was hot tonight.

I had levelled up.

Even the mall rats
could tell who the fat cat was.

And this cat had nine lives.

[coins clinking]

Adult mark [v.O.]: Well,
$40 in quarters.

-Phew...

Adult mark [v.O.]:
If I couldn't earn respect,

I'd buy it!

But as my money went,
so did the attention.

♪

♪

-Come on, man.
You've had enough.

[game beeping]

[game beeping]

♪

♪

♪

[game beeping]

[game over sound]

-How many hours was I playing?

-Twenty minutes.

-That's gotta be a record...

For most money lost by a nimrod.

-Walk it off, buddy.

-Can I get that tip back?

-Yeah.

[mournful music]

♪

♪

♪

♪

Adult mark [v.O.]:
I had lost it all.

My comics, my money,
my self-respect.

When it came to video games,

My personal best
was rock bottom.

[phone buttons beeping]

Operator: The number you have
dialled is currently busy.

[buttons beeping]

Operator: The number you have
dialled is currently busy.

Mary: Still mad at me?

-Frank is not an arse.

He is a retired
airplane mechanic.

-What if I made it up to you?

Hm?

I found one!

-Where did you get that?

-I traded alice
for her old one.

They don't have
the new ones in topsail yet.

-Everything's changing so fast.

I just want to hold on
to the old stuff

For as long as we can.

You sure you don't mind?

-The only thing that matters
about that phone

Is that it's off the hook.
Hm?

Adult mark [v.O.]:
Not everyone is ready for

The latest and greatest.

-[mary giggles]
-[rotary dialling sound]

Adult mark [v.O.]: New tech
takes some getting used to.

-[ringing sound]
pop: Hm...

-Pop?
-Huh?

Speak up, I can't hear you.

-I thought the hearing aid
fixed your ears.

-Oh.

Oh... I think I'm picking up
the radio station.

Damn thing.

-Forget it.

-Whoa!

No, that was perfect!

Clear as a bell.
Say something else.

-I wish I never sold my comics.

-Oh...

No, it can't be working.

I mean,
it sounded like you said,

"I wish I'd not sold my comics."

-I just-- I feel like an idiot.

-Hm.

[chuckles]
here.

Try this.

-Hey!

-I think you're old enough
now to read a real book.

-What is it?

-Kipling.

It's one of my favourites.

"if."

"if you can dream--
and not make dreams your master;

"if you can think--
and not make thoughts your aim;

"if you can meet with
triumph and disaster

"and treat those two impostors
just the same;

"if you can make a heap
of all your winnings

"and risk it on one turn
of pitch-and-toss,

"and lose, and start again
at your beginnings,

"and never breathe
a word about your loss;

"if you can fill the unforgiving
minute with sixty seconds'

"worth of distance run,

"yours is the earth
and everything that's in it,

"and-- which is more--

"you'll be a man, my son!"

♪

♪

Did you get that?

-Kinda.

No, not really.

-Well, maybe you're
not ready for kipling.

I mean, you know what we do,
of course, when we lose it all.

-No. What?

-We start again.
-[gasps] pop!

You paid too much, by the way.

-Well, can't take it with you.

Especially when
you don't have it.

You know, one of these days
we're gonna have to grow up,

But today is not that day.

[chuckles]

-Yeah.

[pop groans]

♪ come with me,
and we will see ♪

♪ what's down the road...

Pop?

Pop?

I don't want us
to get older either.

I love you.

♪ all we need is you and me

♪ and we will always be...

♪ home.

♪

♪

♪

♪

♪

♪