Oh, yes, oh yes, that's lovely.
Thank you Mr Pheasant.
Oh, ha! Hello! (CHUCKLES)
I didn't see you there.
Do you fancy a sh*t of Absinthe?
Or a bit of mother's ruin?
No?
Well, make yourself comfortable
because I have a creepy story
to tell you,
about a monster
fighting to become
the master of its own destiny.
It all started in 1888
when Jack the Ripper
was roaming the streets of London.
(SCREAMING)
(DOOR CREAKING)
At that very same moment, a woman was
about to give birth to a child
who would rewrite the story of
monsters...
...and men.
(GROANING) But of whom should
she be more frightened?
The baby inside her
or the supposed doctor
poised to deliver it.
Oh please,
take that away from me.
No, please, please, not me.
Not me.
Don't worry my dear
this won't hurt a little bit...
...it will hurt...
...a lot.
(SCREAMING)
(LAUGHING) (SCREAMING)
(LAUGHING)
(SCREAMING)
(SCOFFS)
It's time.
Oh! I think it's coming.
It's coming!(LAUGHING)
I don't want it in me.
Help me!
(ROARING)
(SQUELCHING)Ah!
(MOANING)
Oh.
What is it?
What is it?!
(CRYING)
What is it?
(DOOR OPENS)
f*ck.
(CRYING)
I told you not to have that baby.
f*ck!
If you'd like
my professional opinion,
I think you should flush
him down the shitter.
(LAUGHING)
He's a beautiful monster,
you can't put him down
ALL: He's a monster,
he'll be the talk of the town
Though he's only a baby,
I don't him around
Then let's bury him down
where he can't be found
Beautiful monster,
you can't put him down
He's a monster, a monster,
a grotesque clown!
Though he's only a baby,
I don't want him around
Then send him to live
in the Devil's Playground
(LAUGHING)
(CRYING) (LAUGHING)
The man who delivered the monster
baby that night was no doctor,
but an infiltrator, he was in fact
the evil impresario
of The Devil's Playground,
a struggling freak show whose
fortunes he was trying to revive.
(DOOR SLAMS) Known as The Master,
he was an infamous sorcerer
with a sadistic streak.
You know we could never take care of
that f*cking child.
He's not of our world.
(I don't know what to do).
You've made your choice.
There's no turning back now.
The child is mine.
And your souls are too.
(WHIMPERING)
Jailer, take them down.
Yes Master.
Right, you two come here.
Out!
Who's an ugly little bastard then?
(LAUGHING)
(SCREECHING)
(LAUGHING)
f*cking cry!
(CRYING)
V/O: There was fear in this city
of monsters,
but one woman saw beauty where others
saw only the grotesque.
Read all about it!
Read all about it!
Lucy Baxter was her name.
The Master will show off
his newest exhibit!
A grotesque monster baby!
Ogle it with your own eyes tonight
at the Devil's Playground.
Look James, what's this?
A 'monster baby!'
He's not an abomination,
he sounds perfect to me,
like one of us.Yes.
He may be in peril.
We must go to him.Yes.
Now.Now.
Read all about it!
(CURTAIN SWOOSHING)
Ladies...
...and Gentlemen.
Look into my eyes.
Kalima.
Ombida!
Lazora!
(CLOMPS)
Right, my spell-bound cretins.
Tonight you have paid to witness
one of the most astonishing sights
ever exhibited in Londinium!
Behold.
Revel in the grotesque.
The prize... in my collection.
It's...
...Showtime!
(CRYING) (GASPING)
What is that?
'It's a freak!'
'It's the Devil's child'.
(CRYING)
(SHRIEKING) (GASPING)
(GROANING)
How is this child controlling me?
Poor child.
'No!'What have they done?
Look James, the Devil's line,
just like you.
But, we call it the Line of Kings.
'That is my monster baby!'
(SHRIEKING) (SCREAMING)
I will find you.
I will hunt you down!
(SHOUTING) (HISSING)
You will be my monster child.
I will call you Otto.
(HUMMING)
Lucy raised the monster as her own.
And in time rescued more.
But Otto was... special.
16 years passed,
but the Master never gave up
his promise to capture him.
For he knew that Otto was in
possession of powers,
powers that would reach full strength
when he came of age.
Lucy had faced battles at every turn
trying to keep her child safe.
And on that day,
when the sun was to rise,
it would be Otto's 16th birthday,
and everything would change.
MUSIC: "Happy Birthday To You".
Surprise!
Happy birthday, Otto!
Happy birthday.
Are my birth parents
going to the party?
Have they sent a present?
I'm sorry Otto.
Your birth parents have
never remembered your birthday.
They have a new family now.
Two daughters.
But we're your family, Otto,
and we love you.
Look, why don't you open a present?
Let's start with a big one.
Oh?
I don't remember wrapping that one.
(GASPING)
(COUGHING)
(SQUELCHING)
What's that in his mouth?
(LAUGHING)
(CHORTLING)
Did you think you
could get away from me?
Well, you can't.
One day
your powers will finally be mine.
Who is this from?
What powers?
I don't have any powers.
Otto.
I knew the day would come
that I'd have to tell you
about The Master.
I won't be around forever.
Ever since you came along he's
lusted after your powers
Planned and plotted twisted
schemes for hours and hours
lt's taken me all my time to
protect you to this day
Even in our happiest moments he
was never far away
BOTH: He's The Master,
he's here at our door.
He's The Master
I can't keep you safe anymore.
OTTO: He's the soul-taker,
sucking the life out of me
He's a control-taker,
feeding on my fears.
Did you really think that you
could get away from me?
The jewel in my collection,
the finest of all freaks
This devil will suck your soul,
just you wait and see
Did you really think
you could get away from me?
lt's time you took control
of your own destiny
Decide what kind of man
you really want to be
You're 16 now it's time to
fight to set yourself free
Find your power and claim the life
you want to lead.
BOTH: He's The Master,
he's here at our door
He's The Master.
I can't keep you safe anymore
He's a soul-taker,
suck the life out of me
He's a control-taker,
he's everything I want to be.
(GROANS)
(LAUGHING)
(CHORTLING)
(BANGING)
(BUBBLING)
In the days that followed,
Otto tried to live on as normal.
Excuse me, Mr McManners.
Can you help me?
(GROWLS)
(PANTING)
You-you're not Mr McManners.
It's The Master!
My little monster boy!
The lights are on
but there's nobody home.
Here's the deal,
you hideous little moron.
Answer this equation correctly
and I'll let you go.
I'm lying of course.
You're mine now
and you'll never go home.
(CHUCKLING)
(CHORTLING)
(CHALK SCRATCHING)
(CHUCKLING)
(CHORTLING)
(SCREAMING)
(GRUNTS)
(GROANS) (GRUNTS)
Finally!
I've been locked in here
for 500 f*ckin' years.
What took you so f*cking long
me old mate?
Mate?
I've never had a friend before.
I'm scared of the teacher.
Can you help me with my work?
Bollocks to that!
Stick with your old mate Jamie.
Let's go, now,
and cause some chaos instead. Go!
(CHUCKLES)
Sir, sir the monster boy's escaping.
(GROANING)
Insolence.
(PANTING)
Jamie, I'm so scared,
I think, I need to move my bowels.
But...
...I can't see a lavatory.
Don't worry about it.
Just pull down your f*cking bloomers
and crap anywhere you want.
What do people already think of you?
Oh, poor, stupid little monster!
Exactly.
Wouldn't make them think
any the less of you.
(CHALK SCRATCHING)
(FARTS)
'Oi!'(WOOD TAPPING)
Who said that?
'It's me down here. Ebenezer.
'Stop taking a sh*t on my grave
I'm trying to sleep.
'Have some respect for the dead!'
(WHEEL SQUEAKING)
(TWIG SNAPPING)
(CROW CRAWING)
Hurry up!
Pull up your f*cking breeches.
It's the f*cking Master!
(GROANS)
Oh gracious!
Have you got that hell-born cretin
The Master after you?
That's bad.
Looks like
I'll be digging your grave tonight.
(TENSE MUSIC)
(SQUELCHING)
(SPITTING)
(LAUGHING)
(CHORTLING)
You're a spunky monkey.
(PANTING)
(DOOR CREAKS)
(PANTING)
Thank f*ck for that.
I think we've lost
the f*cking Master.
He's a f*cking piece of work,
isn't he?
He seems so... evil.
So powerful.
Maybe power makes you evil.
Right, whatever.
Get the drinks in!
(SIGHS)
Can I have a whisky please?
Oh, and a pint for the dummy.
Your mate with the horns,
he's not allowed in the pub.
(GRUNTS)
Here, would he like a lollipop?
No.
I'll get the drinks.
You go over there and lick a window.
Otto, where have you been?
I've been looking for you all over
Victorian London.
I'm so worried.
I'm not sure the world
is ready for you yet.
Oh, mum! Maybe you still need me.
(GRUNTING)
(GROANING)
Mum!
No!
Say something!
I love you.
(CRYING)
(DOOR OPENS)
You're mine, now, boy.
(GROANS)Come on! No!
It'll take more than that hideous
little moron
to save your f*cking arse.
(LAUGHING)
(DOOR OPENS)
These f*cking freaks today.
(HUMMING)
Drag in the bodies.
(GROANING)
Look who it is.
(CLANKING)Mummy and Daddy!
(GIGGLING)
You-you're my parents?
You are not my family.
(SOBBING)
We had no choice.
He tricked us.
But it's too late.
We serve the Master now.
Leave him.
No kisses and cuddles for Otto then.
He's not worth it.
No!
(CHORTLING)
Boo f*cking hoo!
That was a touching family reunion,
wasn't it?
(LAUGHING)
At last...
(DOOR CLANKS)
...my collection is complete.
Deep down, you know the truth boy.
(CREAKING)
I have studied your kind... yes.
But you... you my friend
are special.
(CHUCKLES)
Ever since that night
when your scream
forced me to my knees,
I realised that you have...
...extraordinary powers.
(SHATTERING)
Paranormal... the power to
speak to the dead.
Possession... the power to control
people's minds.
And Twisted...(GROANS)
...the power to be more evil than
anyone who has ever lived!
(LAUGHING)
(CHUCKLING)
I will feed on you, boy.
Through your line of keens.
Your body will age but you will
never reach maturity.
And your power shall be mine.
(GROANING)
(GASPING)
(GROANING)
(COUGHING)
(PANTING)
I will keep you here as a child.
Because as a child,
you are no thr*at to me.
(GROANS)
Sleep well.
And cheer up.
It could be worse.
I'm lying!(CLANKS)
It couldn't be f*cking worse!
(CRYING) (LAUGHING)
(LAUGHING)
(CREAKING)
(SOBBING)
(SHRIEKING)
Bring out the bodies
(HUMMING)
Bring out the bodies
(HUMMING)
Bring out the bodies
(KEYS CLANKING)
(DOOR CREAKS)
Bring out the bodies
(HUMMING)
Good morning, Otto.
Thanks for joining me for breakfast.
(GROANING)
(GASPING)
(GROANING)
(LAUGHING)
That was absolutely delicious.
Look forward to lunching together.
Oh, forgot to ask.
Are you busy for supper?
It's a date then!
(CHUCKLING)
One more thing.
f*ck you!
(LAUGHING)
(CHORTLING)
(SCRATCHING)
But on this day, a familiar face had
come to work for the Master.
(CHUCKLING)
(LOCK CLICKS)
You look f*cking terrible
me-old-pal.
You need to conserve
a bit of energy.
M-hm?
Can I give you a hand?
(CHUCKLING)
Good morning Otto, and what a
beautiful morning it is.
(LOCK CLICKS)
Bon Appetite to me.
The Master was too confident,
too secure in his new powers
to notice that his c*ptive's hand
was not real,
no longer nourishing his evil soul.
Give me more boy,
why isn't it working?
Why isn't it working?!(PANTING)
Sort yourself out.
I'll be back in an hour.
(DOOR SLAMS)
f*ck!
Who left the cell open?
Over the coming days,
Otto continued to deny the Master
the power he so craved.
You better have something for me
today, boy.
The old man couldn't fathom why he
grew weaker and weaker.
Give me what I need.
(THUNDER RUMBLING)
All the while Otto was transforming
into the man
he was destined to become.
As he grew stronger, Otto remembered
the first of his true powers,
Paranormal, the ability
to talk to the dead.
And he knew who he needed to reach.
Lucy?
Lucy.
'Otto? I knew you would find me.
'You have discovered
your first power'.
Lucy. Can you get me out of here?
Who the f*ck are you talking to?
No Otto, you don't need me.
Remember your second power,
Possession.
Possess the Master.
(RUMBLING)
What's happening?
(GROANING)
(GASPING)
What's happening?(GROANS)
(GROANING)
(GRUNTING)
Why are you doing this?
(ROARS)
Right, you fucker!
(ROARING)
I'm pulling the strings now!
You will dance for me.(GROANS)
No. Please.
(GROANING)
(YELLING)
(ROARING)
Do you feel f*cking thirsty?
Please, it's very, very poisonous.
Last orders at the bar.
(GRUNTING)
(GUZZLING)
(RETCHING)
(CHOKING)
I'm the f*cking master now!
(WHIMPERING)
No, please.
No.
Time to get k*lled.
No!
No!
(GROWLING)
(GRUNTING) (GROANING)
(CHOKING)
LUCY:'Otto! You have done it.
'You have discovered
your first two powers.
'But do not use your third'.
Twisted.
The power to be cruelly evil!
Yes.
Otto, do not use this power.
Will you promise me
you won't use it?
Will you look after your brothers?
(FINGERS TAPPING)
(DOOR OPENS)I'm home!
Otto! We miss you.
(LAUGHING)
Oh! It's the witching hour!
(DOOR KNOCKING)
That was a bit f*cking early.
Who's that at the door?
Hello darling.
You're so powerful.
I can't resist you!
Who can?
Let's have some fun.
Please.
Right, you lot. Out!
ALL: 'What?'Sling your hook.
You are my bro!
You've changed.
Where can we go?
I'll tell you where to go.
I heard there is a cell at the
Puppet Asylum, alright?(GASPS)
(SIGHING)
Go on, and f*ck off!
w*nk*r. f*ck off!
(LAUGHING)
And now, let's have a bit of fun.
(BULB POPS)
Well my friends, this story
may sound like a fantasy,
like a gothic fable
from the annals of hell.
But, oh jeez, just hang on a second.
Otto? Yeah?
You sure you want to end like this?
Shouldn't the woman love you
for being you?
I don't care, I just fancy her.
Yeah, right. Okay.
And just one more question
about the brothers?
Are you sure you want to
kick them out?
I'm the f*cking director.
I want to be evil.
And, I want some f*cking power.
Oh.
Oh yeah, well, fair enough.
And so ends our story,
a triumph of evil over evil.
Not the ending you were expecting?
Me neither.
But...
...that's how life is sometimes.
I'll leave it for you to decide how
much of it was true.
Sleep well.
Oh God, this collar is tight, Otto.
(GROANS) You fancy a cup of tea?
Yes, please.
Alright.
How many sugars?
(CLAPPING)Two please.
(INDISTINCT CHATTERING)
And cut!
(THEME MUSIC)
You're a spunky monkey!
'Cut!'(CHEERING)
And, action!
(CHUCKLING)
(CLAPPING)
Puppet Asylum, The (2023)
Moderator: Maskath3