05x01 - The Final Countdown

[bunniefuu]

-Go for it girl! -Whoo!

Woman: last season on "I am jazz"...

I happened to meet a girl

Who I think you would really like.

-Wait, a girl? -Hi, jazz, nice to meet you.

Jazz: have you ever dated someone who was transgender?

No. Is that weird for you?

Being pansexual, like, literally nothing matters.

Okay, good.

Jazz: this date, honestly went better

Than anything I could have hoped for.

Your surgery will be very difficult.

I'm a tough case.you're a tough case.

We want to get as much skin from everywhere.

There's actually a second skin on the inside

Of your body, called perineum.

In a lot of ways, it's similar to the tissue

Lining a cis woman's vag*na.

Have the results been successful?

This is "experimental".

Sometimes I just eat a lot, even if I'm full.

Hold on, I'm too tired.

We've been playing for minutes.

Well whatever, look at you and look at me.

I'm a fat ass.

If you're running a higher bmi than we want,

It's gonna be a problem.

I cannot do surgery if you are not perfect.

I have to lose pounds before I can get the surgery.

Man:and I think we should put a date on the ca lender

And this is just penciled in

Because if you're one pound off,

We're not doing this.

We booked a date for my surgery!

I know that the surgery date is not set in stone,

So it's really up to me to stay on track.

The surgery is on the line.

And this season on "I am jazz"...

I'm just gonna do some, like, basic glam.

Let's do it!

Jeannette: jazz's surgery is right around the corner.

After three days, I leave the hospital.

And jazz is being sent to a hotel with just me.

I've done nothing. We've got three weeks.

Three weeks?

Woman: you cannot be prepared for this surgery.

It was brutal.

I feel like I've been ready

To fall in love for so long.

It's, like, the ultimate connection.

Jazz: there's a boy in the picture now.

Amir just gets me, and I get him.

-Have you kissed him yet? -Yes, I've kissed him a lot.

I just got off the phone with abc.

Juju chang is interested in having

A sit down with you to talk about your surgery.

Just like a fluff piece.

Juju: there are some people who will think

"Her parents brainwashed her."

This is not a fluff piece.

Things are still tbd.

Jazz: the surgical team haven't figured out

What approach they're gonna take to building my vag*na.

Your guides are telling you if you waited a little bit longer,

Things would come out better for you.

I've been waiting for this my whole life,

And now it's time.

Man: she's the most difficult case

That I have encountered.

She'll be experimental.

I don't even want to think about what's going on.

Oh, my god.

--Captions by vitac-- www.vitac.com

Captions paid for by discovery communications

♪♪

-Oh, there she is! -Hey, jazz.

-What is happening? -I'm making a few pancakes.

-Minus syrup. -Pancakes are not healthy.

Jazz: dr. Bowers insisted that I lose weight

Before I was eligible to get gender confirmation surgery.

And I have lost pounds, yes!

I'm using healthy butter and healthy sour cream.

I'll eat pancakes.

It was really hard to lose the weight.

I had to retrain my mind to make better food choices,

But I lost all the weight

And this gender confirmation surgery

Is just weeks away.

-Dad, throw a plate. -Don't hit me.

-Why are doing them upside down? -Sorry, ari.

-That was the worst throw. -You almost k*lled ari

And they all broke apart. -I'm gonna sit now.

I think dad's regressing now that you guys are home.

Jeannette: I love having all of my kids at home,

And I'm sad griffen's not here,

But its great to have the kids around.

A lot of people would be like, "oh, you know,

My house was quiet, and now the kids are back".

My biggest problem with them is the messiness.

-Be prepared for the flip. -Oh!

I'm not cleaning this up.

Like, I think greg found a pair of underwear

At the front door. Like, no, no, no, no, no. No.

-Ari? -Mm-hmm?

What does it feel like to be a graduate?

-Crazy. -What's the plan?

-Adulting. -Nice.

Mom gave me a book called "adulting ".

-Did you read it yet? -No. It's, like, my toilet book.

It's just sitting on my toilet right now.

[ Laughter ]

It's so weird that griffen is not here right now.

Are you gonna miss living with him next year?

No.

Sander: I've kind of separated from my brother a little.

Griffen finally found himself a really nice and cool girl

Named alexa, and now he's dating her.

It's definitely changed our relationship a little bit

Because he's hanging out with her more

And he has a new best friend.

Don't know, ask sander.yeah, ask sander.

He'll be home soon. Then before we know it,

We'll be in new york.

So, are you ready for surgery?

Yes, are you kidding?

I was born ready.not scared or anything?

No, not at all.

There's nothing to be scared about.

I trust my surgeons.

Knowing that I'm only a few weeks away for the surgery

Is just so surreal.

I feel like everything in my life

Has been leading up to this point,

And it's finally happening.

You know, this is the new chapter in my life.

New beginnings

And I'm ready for this huge change,

And I've always been ready.

Yeah, you're lucky. You have three doctors working on you.

Marci is the main surgeon, and then ting

Is there to assist her,

And then there's another doctor.

He's the one who takes out my peritoneal lining,

The stuff that's gonna be my vag*na.

I can't have the standard vaginoplasty

Because when I was years old,

I went on the testosterone blocker

To prevent me from developing as a male,

And that caused me to have a lack of tissue growth

In my genital area.

So, they're using this extra procedure

Where they extract my peritoneal lining

From my stomach

And use that as extra tissue to create the vag*na.

Jeannette: jazz is one of the first if not the first person

That's having this procedure done

That has been suppressed.

That definitely adds a layer of stress,

But I'm not gonna let jazz know that.

Are you looking forward to wearing a real bathing suit?

You don't have to, like, cover up or anything?

Yeah, but I have a weird tan line over the years.

Like, my thigh and upper area near my bikini line

Is all, like, really, really white.

Are you gonna buy new underwear?

She doesn't have to, she steals mine all the time.

The other day I saw her,

She was wearing my favorite underwear.

I was like, "that's where they went?"

They were on your booty. -That is weird.

Like, you can keep those now.

♪♪

♪♪

-Hey! -Oh, hi.

Hi, sisters.

Jazz: I'm hanging out with lynn, noelle, and jojo.

You know, I haven't been able to see them in awhile

Because we've all been busy with our lives,

So I am just so excited to see all of these girls.

Noelle: so like, you guys want to go do stuff?

-Of course, lets go do this. -Yes, I'm ready.

-Hello. -Hi.

These girls mean so much to me,

And we're all transgender,

So we can relate to each other in that way,

But our relationship doesn't depend

Upon being transgender.

We're just regular teenage girls having a good time.

This is terrifying.

I'm about to lose my [bleep]. Oh, my god.

-Oh gosh. -This is loud!

Jazz is a spider monkey.

Out of all of us, jazz is doing by far the best.

However, one small victory

Is that I'm not doing the worst out of the group.

[ Whimpering ]

I feel like this is what high-class strippers do.

Jojo: come back!

I'm not stable.

I don't know what to do with myself.

Help.

-Go lynn! -Come on, let's go!

[ Bang ]oh!

I thought I was gonna die.

I was like, that's it, it's over.

[ Laughter ]

Nice job, lynn.

My mom was worried that when I started virtual school

That I would spend a lot of time in bed,

But that's not the case.

I feel more of an urge to leave the house and socialize,

Especially because I trust lynn, noelle, and jojo

More than I've been able to trust other people in the past.

You look so good,

Like, just your shape and everything,

You look so good.

I remember the last couple times I saw you,

It was like, you didn't lose weight,

You didn't lose weight,

Bam, you're like a thousand pounds skinnier.

[ Laughter ]

Jazz: my surgery is less than a month away.

I can't process it in my brain,

Like, I'm gonna have different genitals in a month.

Like how do you, like, think about that?

I've lived with this thing for so long

And then it's gonna be, like, gone.

You have to tell us how it all goes.

I'm gonna tell you guys everything, you know it.

Noelle: I'm both excited and jealous

That jazz is only a month away from getting her surgery.

It's something that I've wanted a long time

And I'm so happy that

She finally gets to have her surgery.

Are you guys done with school?

Well, I know you do virtual school.

Are you done with school?

How is school?

I know with everything that went down.

-Yeah, you guys? -Yeah.

Noelle: on february th,

A gunman walked into stillman douglas,

My school, and opened fired.

A high school in parkland, florida

Became the scene of chaos and panic

Just before the end of the school day.

A broward county sheriff says at least people are dead.

Noelle: I knew a couple people who were victims in the sh**ting.

I've been kind of struggling along,

Trying to cope with feelings

That I can't necessarily put language to.

I'll be okay one day,

And then the next day, I cannot function.

And I've been seeing a therapist,

And things are getting slowly better,

But I do have some triggers

Where, like, if people are screaming,

It freaks me out or if I hear popping sounds.

It's because I have ptsd.

Jazz: when I first heard about the parkland sh**t,

Right away I was like, "noelle, is noelle okay?"

And I wanted to text her

And be assured that she was safe.

It was just such a scary situation.

I want to be there for noelle, just by giving her comfort

And letting her know that she's safe with me

And that I love and support her so, so, so much.

I don't necessarily want to make tonight depressing

So like, we can talk about happy stuff.

-Okay, good, good. -It's all right.

Do you guys know lynn was nominated

For prom queen? -Yeah.

I saw that on your instagram. -Oh, yeah.

How was it?

Honestly getting to prom in the dress

And just feeling like I was expressing myself

In that way that I wanted to

Was such an exciting experience.

Lynn: it was like that princess moment that every girl feels

When they go to prom,

And when I put it on and looked in the mirror,

I was just smiling.

Who'd you end up going with as a date?

I invited somebody I've known for a really, really long time.

That's so nice.yeah, so I actually

Put some thought into it. -Are you guys, like, dating?

-No, no, no, no. -Not at all? Nothing like that?

Oh.

-What's the tea with victoria? -We don't really talk anymore.

I just don't think she was that interested in me maybe or...

I don't know why it never worked out.

Jazz: victoria and I stayed in touch through social media,

But we never ended up getting together again

Or hanging out.

I am disappointed, you know.

I think we liked each other and enjoyed hanging out.

So, I don't know why things didn't work out.

Since you're homeschooled, you didn't go to prom, right?

No, I'm never gonna have a prom.

Well, you know, I totally think

That you should have the prom experience

Because it's something you always look back to

As an experience with your friends.

I know, but the year is past, prom season's over.

But actually, there's like -- it's, like, sort of

A community thing, it's for lgbtq youth and all that.

A prom, or is it just, like, a youth party?

It's pretty much a prom, it's a prom, yeah.

It's anyone who's in high school.

-All lgbtq people? -And even supporters.

-Really? -Allies.

Imagine, like, all of us going together.

I mean, I'll go if you guys come with me.

Jazz: in the past, I would have been less open

To going to a large social event like the lgbtq+ prom,

But I finally have a group of friends

Who I feel really confident with

And who I feel like, if I go with them,

That I'll have a good time dancing, eating, meeting people.

And who knows? Maybe I'll find someone.

We're going. Like, I don't care, we're going.

Jojo: not a lot of transgender kids get to go to prom

Because of body insecurities and, you, know feeling safe,

So having this opportunity

Is something that I'm very grateful for,

And I'm just so excited.

But I really do think you'll enjoy it.

Who wants to go dress shopping with me?

-I'll go. -I'll go.

That's just a trick question, I always want to go

Shopping for clothes.

Although one issue that I think I'm gonna run into

Is I don't like dresses,

And I don't want to wear, like, a tux.

There's cool, like, pantsuits.

I can be the hillary clinton impersonator.

[ Laughter ]

♪♪

Let's go!

Jazz: my dad and I now go on daily walks

As part of my workout program.

I have an activity monitor,

And I'm ensuring that I get , steps.

Just being active, you know, taking steps, being motion...

Being motion. [ Laughing ]

Y'all gotta be motion.

I'm really proud of you.

I think you have come a long way.

You know you have.

I know at the beginning it was hard

And you were a little resistant.

I don't think I would have lost the weight

If it weren't for that surgery pushing me,

You know? I needed that nudge.

You did pretty much everything that was asked of you,

And really now it's up to the doctors

To take care of things.

The only thing I'm worried about is, like,

The first few weeks after the surgery,

I feel like I'm gonna feel depressed

When I look at it 'cause it's gonna be ugly at first.

I'm going be like, "ugh".

I don't know that I'm the right person

To talk about these specific graphic details.

Greg: when it comes to jazz's surgery,

I look forward to jazz being able to

Live the way she wants to live

And not have to talk about vaginas anymore.

She'll always talk about her vag*na.

Well I'm more concerned about just

Your overall mental mindset, that stuff.

You're in the right place? -Yeah.

-You sure? -Mm-hmm.

I mean from zero to %,

How sure are you that you're ready to go?

, ,%.

Greg: there was a time where I was a little more concerned

About whether jazz was mature enough

To proceed with the surgery,

But jazz has shown her dedication

To her body, to herself.

Just shows me that she really wants this

And that I don't want to stand in the way.

So, what else is going on in your life?

I did hang out with noelle, jojo, and lynn,

And they were talking about this prom,

An lgbtq+ prom,

And we're all going together.

That sounds like fun. So, it's gonna be

A quadruple date? Yep.

I think it's cool that jazz is gonna go to the prom.

With jazz's surgery so close,

She needs to really just cut loose a little bit.

What do we still need to do in advance?

For the surgery? Yeah.

We have a call with dr. Bowers.

I never know what she's gonna say on those calls.

Just gonna remind her that she better do a good job

Or else I'm gonna gain all the pounds back

Due to depression of having an ugly vag*na.

Sometimes you just say the most outrageous stuff.

Your mommy's got potty humor.

-We're so inappropriate. -You guys are.

Jeannette: all right, so where are we doing this call?

Over here in our special corner?

Yeah, let's do it.

-Hello! -Hi.

Hi, jennings family, how are you?

-Good, how are you? -Hey, dr. Bowers.

-We're good, how are you? -How ya doin'?

Good. I'm excited to see you all.

We're only about a month away.

Yes, surgery, yay!

vag*na, yeah!

I'm so ready.

Okay, well, the real reason for my call,

This is a bit of surprise.

Is that I'm actually coming to fort lauderdale

For a convention.

And so I thought it would be

A good opportunity to get together,

See where you are

In terms of your physical progress.

How much have you lost so far?

Um, I've lost pounds exactly.

Okay, good, but we still weigh you, you know?

-Mm-hmm. -Not that I don't trust you.

I've done it, I've lost the pounds.

I can't wait for her to see me and be like,

"You know what, I challenge you

And you completed the challenge, take the million dollars,

Take the vag*na, you get it all".

And I just can't wait to see her reaction.

I want to talk more about the surgery,

Get you a little more mentally prepared.

And then also

You know you're gonna be in new york for a while.

Um, yeah, I'm gonna be there for like a week, right?

Well, it could be a little longer.

We're thinking you should be in

For at least three weeks

Just to see that everything is healing well.

Jeannette: I'd thought we'd be in new york for a week

After the surgery,

So I'm completely shocked.

We are nowhere near prepared

To have to spend that amount of time in new york,

And right now there is no plan b.

I don't understand. What does this mean?

Why this change of plans?

♪♪

Things are still tbd.

Jazz: dr. Bowers and the surgical team haven't figured out

What approach they're gonna take

When it comes to building my vag*na.

Just shows how tough of a case I am.

Whoo!

This prom looks absolutely amazing.

I'm ready to party.

[ Cheers and applause ]

Marci: we're thinking you should be in

For at least three weeks

Just to see that everything is healing well.

-Wow, that's-- -whoa.

Now this isn't ordinarily done,

But you are in a special situation.

Jaz: I thought I was gonna get the surgery,

Stay in the hospital for three days,

Go to the hotel for three days,

Go back to the hospital to check up,

And bye, there we go.

Now she's saying I may need to be in new york

For an additional three weeks after surgery,

And that is just a lot.

Bye greg, bye jeanette, bye jazz.

Greg: bye.

I do not want to stay in new york

For three weeks, ugh.

That's the first time she had said that, huh?

-Yeah. -That's a long time in new york.

I don't know that I'll be able to stay up three weeks.

Hopefully you'll be able to? -I don't have a choice.

I'm not leaving her. -Yeah.

I mean I certainly can't take off from work

For three straight weeks.

I know that jeanette will be able to take care of jazz

And I know that the kids will be around

To be able to support jazz and jeanette,

And that's exactly why we planned this out

In the summertime.

I think with dr. Bowers coming to town,

We need to take advantage of that opportunity

To work this stuff out in advance

Of going up to new york.absolutely.

Jeannette: I'm really worried that the doctor's are not

Communicating with us.

The story's always changing. It's constantly in flux.

With jazz's surgery so close,

We want to know the game plan for the surgery.

Gotta get all of our questions answered.

♪♪

Jazz: whoa, this looks like the place, for sure.

-Hi, girls. -Hello.

-How are you? -Good, how are you?

Good, what can we do for you today?

-Shopping for prom dresses. -All right, perfect.

I never imagined that I would be shopping for a prom dress.

Do you want a ball gown?

A straight dress?don't know.

All right, let me show you something.

Probably not a straight dress.

-Okay. -Nothing too tight

In the stomach.

Looking at all the dresses,

I think noelle, jojo, and I are definitely overwhelmed.

There are so many options, so many colors,

So many jewels and sequins and fabrics.

I actually like this one a little bit

'Cause I don't want anything, like,

Super sparkly or anything like that.

Are comfortable with, like, a little hole in the front?

I don't know. It looks good on the rack.

-Mm-hmm. -One thing I'm nervous about

Is that the dresses will show off my tummy

Or that it'll give me broad shoulders,

And that's one of my biggest insecurities

As a trans girl.

What about something like this?

Yes.

It's just a little, too...

I like to be a little more modest

With my dressing.

The one thing that's really important to me

Is that the dress has sleeves.

I still have really bad gender dysphoria

And really don't like my arms.

They just feel like they don't match my body.

Jojo, you like this? Has little sleeves.

No?

[ Laughter ]

So, the best thing I suggest is that

You pick out a few dresses and just try 'em on.

-Yeah. -Because you don't know

Until you put them on the body.

Jazz: finding the perfect dress can be hard

Because prom is a big experience.

-You guys ready to try? -Yes!

All right, let's go find a dress.

I mean, who knows, I could maybe meet some new people,

Potential love interest.

So, I really just wanna choose

What I feel makes me look the most beautiful.

My love handles. I need to lose weight there.

Like any teenage girl, I do struggle with body issues,

And sometimes it's hard because I'm like,

"Wow, I lost all this weight and I feel so great,

But then I still am not the skinniest girl in the world".

Jazz: oh, pretty! Do you like it?

-I don't like it. -Oh, okay.

[ Laughter ]

-It shows off your cleavage. -Mm-hmm.

Jojo: I love that dress on you, though.

Oh, the red is really pretty.

-I like it except... -The slit's a little high?

Noelle: yeah, my leg is ghostly.

I'm not a person who really has a lot of experiences

Wearing dresses,

So I'm just looking for one that I like at all.

So, do you like it or no?

This is something caitlyn jenner would wear.

[ Laughs ]

-Oh! -Love, right?

Girl, you look good. Your boobies look good, too.

I know I said I wanted something with sleeves,

But now that I see it, I'm kind of like, no.

Noelle: would you wear your hair down with it

Or would you wear it like that? -Probably.

Jojo: this dress is gorgeous.

There's just something about this dress

That makes me feel like a princess,

But, like, dark.

The fact that I'm wearing something sleeveless

And showing cleavage

Is a confidence booster.

The only problem is we're not gonna be able to dance.

If I can dance in this, you can dance in that.

Oh, my god, no. Okay?

Have either of you guys thought about finding a date or no?

No. I'm singler than a pringle, all right?

I've never heard that said by anyone else

In my entire life.

Should I ask victoria to come with me?

-Yes. -It would be nice

To see victoria,

But it would be weird for me to call her at this point.

Next, let's try one more. -I'm not a ten.

That's a no.

You know who I feel like I look like?

Adele.

[ Laughter ]

-Oh, it's pretty. -I like the way it looks, yeah.

As tiring as trying on hundred and hundreds

And thousands of dresses is,

I am surprised that some of them I am kind of into.

All right, what do you guys think?

Do you like this one or the one I had on before more?

I don't know.

They're both really good, though.

Jojo: yeah, I think they're pretty neck and neck.

I've gone shopping with jazz a lot of times,

And I think she's feeling more confident this time,

Especially after she's lost all the weight

That she set off to lose.

So, did we decide on the perfect dress?

-I'm sold. -On the second one?

I think I found the perfect dress.

And then it's hard to choose for me

Between this one and the one I just had on.

[ Sighs ]

It's hard to make a decision.

♪♪

♪♪

Thank you, padre.

Dr. Bowers is in town, and I'm meeting with her

In person as a final appointment before the surgery

Just so she could make sure that everything's in line

Before this big operation.

You worried at all about anything that she might say?

Yes.

I know you usually write out questions

On your notes on your phone.

-Yeah, I wrote a few. -Did you do that?

-Yeah. Just a couple. -[ Laughs ]

That's why I need my reading glasses.

-Oh, really? -So I can see my phone.

Jeannette: going into this appointment with dr. Bowers,

It is time now to come in with our list of questions.

We want specifics about jazz's surgery.

-Oh, there she is. -The jennings family.

Greg: it seems like every time we have a call with dr. Bowers

Or go to the office,

There's just something new that comes up

That was unexpected,

And I don't want another surprise.

-Come on back. -Let's do it.

It's been almost a year

Since I've seen jazz and examined her.

Welcome to my florida lair.

And we had a number of things that we were dealing with,

And so she's had some challenges to overcome.

She's on the borderline for age

To do this surgery at all,

And so we've got to have everything perfect.

How are you feeling as we come into this?

As we approach the surgical date,

You know, obviously there's some anxiousness

Because I've heard a lot of things.

Just for clarity, what's gonna be used

To create jazz's new genitalia?

Just give me a quick synopsis

Of all the things, at this point.

For the genitals, for the outside,

It's just the tissue she already has.

And for the sensory portion,

It's going to be the head of the penis

Will become the clitoris.

The vag*na is really where things are still tbd.

Jeannette: jazz's surgery is looming,

And the fact that they haven't

Mapped out all the details is pretty scary.

Greg: in advance of something as important as this,

They need a game plan.

♪♪

The vag*na is really where things are still tbd.

Jazz: the fact that dr. Bowers and the surgical team

Haven't completely figured out

What approach they're gonna take

When it comes to building my vag*na

Is a little but nerve-racking

Because it just shows how tough of a case I am.

What we're really doing right now

Is a breakthrough in terms of the surgery

In being able to harvest this peritoneal lining.

Marci: jazz, as a medical case, is really a conundrum

Because her puberty was blocked so well

That she didn't get growth of her genitals

In a way that allows us as a surgeon

To use a conventional approach,

And so we have to be very creative

To find new ways of getting tissue

To line these areas of the body that we create.

You know, when this is harvested,

Is there any risk? Oh, yes.

You could end up with hemorrhage inside.

You could end up with an injury

To the intestine, possibly.

Anything is possible in surgery.

How many hours do you think?

Typically three and half hours.

How much care is usually needed

While you're at the hospital?

In other words, who's on call?

At the hospital, you've got full nursing staff,

So you're gonna have /. -Right.

Your job starts once

She's released from the hospital.

She'll have a catheter in her bladder,

And that means that when it fills up,

You want to empty it.

That's your nursing job.

I'm not ready to be nurse jeanette.

Like, what if something goes wrong?

I'm there in the hotel alone with her.

Like, now I realize there are things

That I should have researched and asked other parents about

And should have done by now that I was supposed to do,

And I haven't done them,

And I'm not sure why,

But, like, I got to get my act together.

Oh, therapy letters.

I know you've done a lot of work for that.

Do you have 'em? -Yeah.

-May I look at them? -Ta-da.

Marci: we require mental health therapy letters,

Not because being transgender is a mental condition,

But because it's a very difficult process to go through.

It's permanent, it's gonna leave you sterile,

And there are gonna be challenges.

That's exciting, so congrats on that.

-Thanks. -All right.

What about the sexual stuff? -The orgasm?

-Yeah. -The big o.

Did you get anywhere?

Here we are again, the big o question.

It doesn't get any easier to discuss it.

I still feel uncomfortable.

Well, there hasn't been much change.

My libido is still basically nowhere.

We know that when people are able to orgasm pre-surgery,

They're very highly likely

To be able to orgasm afterwards.

Jazz does not know what an orgasm is.

It's very important when expressing intimacy,

And although it is not something

That's going to delay surgery,

It's not going to be any easier for her

To have an orgasm after surgery.

So, weight, you were at

When we made our big intervention.

-Uh-huh. -Which is technically

In the obese range. -Damn.

I do have to weigh you, and if you are one pound short,

We're gonna have to push surgery back.

Let's just do the damn thing.

-Let's go. -Let's do it.

Let's do it.

Jazz: knowing that I weighed pounds at one point

Is really scary to think about

Because I was at the heaviest weight

I've ever been in my entire life.

You know, I've worked so hard to lose pounds,

And this weigh in is, like, the final check mark

On my list of things to do to get this surgery.

..

Yay, girl!

You got it. -I did it.

You got it, you got it, you're having surgery.

That's the lowest I've heard, actually.

I know, right?that's awesome.

I am just so, so, so happy and relieved.

It just feels so great knowing that I could prove

To dr. Bowers that

I took the steps needed

To prepare myself for this operation,

And now it's all on her to do the rest of the work.

How much depth do you expect I'll be able to get?

We would expect at least five inches.

I mean, to me, that's the minimum.

You just do as much as possible.

Well, news flash, but you know us girls

Don't compare the depths of our vaginas.

I haven't measured mine lately, jazz.

I just know your head came out of it,

So it grew.

She has a big head, she really does.

[ Laughter ]

They had to use one of those vacuums.

They sucked her out.

Jeanette. Jeanette.

What? Oh, stop.

♪♪

Jojo: hello.

-Ohh. -Oh, look who's here.

Jazz: just in time. I just finished lynn's eyebrows.

Oi.

Are you crying?

Yeah, this hurts.

I did a lot at once.

It's the night of the prom,

And everyone is here to get ready.

We're going to be doing our makeup together,

Dressing up, taking pictures,

And then we're going to head out to the party.

Your eyebrows look phenomenal.

I totally didn't do them before I got here.

Jeannette: this is my wifi camera so I can get you guys

Copies of everything.

Yay, because I'm a terrible picture-taker.

I'm delighted that jazz is going to a prom.

She's excited, and when she gets excited about something,

I'm like a kid in a candy shop.

Whoo! Look at all this.

And if she's at the prom and she met somebody,

That would be my dream.

If someone asks you guys to dance --

'Cause I feel like that's, like, a prom staple --

Are you guys gonna dance?

-Yeah. -Yeah, I think I would.

It's prom, there's going to be a lot of people there,

So who knows? Maybe someone would be like,

"You wanna dance?" And you're gonna be like, "yeah"

And then you start dancing and then you fall in love

And you marry each other at like age ,

And it's just -- its great.

Jazz: what would you say is your sexuality?

I lean more towards girls, to be honest.

And you lean more towards girls, as well.

I do not lean at all towards guys.

Is that hard for you guys?

Because, like, when I said that I'm pansexual

And that I'm interested in dating girls,

People were like, "oh, see you are a guy

Because you want to date girls,

Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah".

Have you actually ever had someone

Say that to you, or no?

And what'd you say?

Were you like...

I just explained to them, like, if I'm a girl

And you respect me and acknowledge me as a girl,

And I like another girl,

Then by definition, I'm a lesbian.

Yeah. Like, I could see me being in a relationship

With a girl -- like, I can envision that ,%,

But I want a relationship with a guy.

Lynn and noelle are very sure of themselves

When it comes to their sexuality.

For me, it's a little bit different.

I'm still trying to explore it,

And because I haven't been in any serious relationships,

I don't know exactly what I like.

However, physically, I think I'm more into guys,

And I just see myself being more compatible with a guy.

I think maybe after the surgery,

I'm going to be more confident when it comes to dating,

But in reality, I think the way it's gonna change

Is that guys are gonna be more open to dating me.

That's what I was going to say.

It's gonna be hard because with a penis,

I could kind of use that as a detector

To see what type of guy that person is.

Like, I don't want someone who's just gonna settle for me

Once I have the body part that they desire.

Is it wrong, when you said that you use it as a detector

I was just imagining [ imitating metal detector ]

[ Laughter ]

I feel like I should start putting on my makeup.

Yeah. It's time.

♪♪

-Are you good at doing makeup? -Not at all.

I think I'm just going to do some, like, basic glam.

♪ You're my favorite type ♪

♪ You're my favorite type ♪

♪ You're my favorite type ♪

♪ You're my favorite type ♪

Jazz: what I'm really looking forward to tonight

Is just getting out of my comfort zone, you know?

I generally don't go to social settings like this.

But really being able to be with my friends,

Party a little bit, meet some new people my age,

It's gonna be fun.

♪ You're my favorite type ♪

♪ You're my favorite type ♪

And we're done here.

[ Footsteps approaching ]

Woman: footsteps and rumbling thunder.

Here they come.

Oh, my god.

[ Gasps ]

Oh, my goodness.

You guys are beautiful.

[ Footsteps approaching ]

Footsteps and rumbling thunder.

-Wow! -Oh.

-Oh, my god. -[ Gasps ]

You guys are beautiful.

-Oh, my gosh. -Oh, my goodness.

Jeannette: when I see jazz, I light up like a light bulb.

I'm so excited.

She's just so beautiful in that dress.

You're so beautiful.

I never thought that jojo would be able

To experience something like prom

Because we're still fairly new into our transition.

It's only a couple years old,

And I feel like it gives jojo a sense of normalcy

That she may not otherwise have.

Wow, noelle. Look at that slit.

You look like an actress.

Noelle: personally, I don't think I look like an actress,

But when my mom tells me that I do, my heart swells.

It makes me feel good about myself,

And I know that my mom has always wanted to see me

How I am now.

To be able to give that to her

Was really a huge occasion for me.

Your makeup... You look beautiful.

Jeannette: lots of parents get choked up when they see their kids

Dressed up for the prom for the first time,

But when you have, like, a transgender child,

It just means that much more

Because this is something that is difficult for them.

They live in a cisgender world,

And their mothers are seeing them

In a light they never thought they would.

I'm going from one to the next of you.

You have brought out the best in each one of you,

And it's amazing.

Going to prom for jazz

Is something that I don't think

She probably thought about very much in the past,

But I think she just made another world for herself

In her bedroom

With the p*ssy cats and the television,

And over-eating and all the things

That comforted her.

The fact that she's agreed to go to the prom,

And go with her dear girlfriends

And possibly having a good time is growth.

Just have a grand evening.

Have a lot of fun and remember it forever.

-Thank you so much. -Yeah.

All right guys, pictures with the pool

And the lake in the background, okay?

Hold on, wait. Before we take pictures,

There's one last surprise.

Come on down!

-Hey! What's up, guys? Hey!

Look who's coming to prom with us.

I'm going to be your guys' escort down to prom today.

We have an escort.

This is cisgender friend, the wing man.

That's me.

Jeannette: sander and jazz are really bonding

Without griffen in the house.

And he wanted to take jazz to the prom.

I think that's really sweet. I'm happy.

Like, he's just my guy that take care of my girls.

All right, now lets take pictures.

-Okay, let's do it. -Sander taking us to prom,

I think is a little funny and quirky,

But I think it was a sweet gesture.

I mean, he is cute, too. So, you know, win-win.

Okay, one, two, three, smile.

Jeannette: I really hope that jazz comes home from this evening,

Like, jumping out of her skin.

"That was so great, I danced, mom,

Look at these pictures, I met some really cool kids".

That's what I want.

Are you ready to get going?

-Very ready. -No, I'm very ready.

Before our makeup, like, melts off.

-Yes, definitely. -All right, let's do it!

♪♪

♪♪

Jazz: this prom looks absolutely amazing.

Between the music and all of the people,

Everything looks so much fun.

I'm actually ready to party.

Jojo: this prom is gorgeous.

Everything about it is absolutely prom,

Like, it feels like a real prom.

♪♪

[ Cheers and applause ]

Jazz: it is really, really loud at this prom

With the music and all of the people screaming

To the music.

I could barely hear my friends from across the table.

[ Indistinct conversations, loud dance music ]

[ Indistinct yelling, cheers ]

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

♪♪

[ Indistinct conversations, loud dance music ]

Jazz: part way throughout the night,

I notice that noelle is missing,

And at first I thought she was just going to the bathroom,

But it's been awhile now,

And I'm starting to get concerned.

Are you okay?

Is there anything I can do?

Noelle: I just --

I don't want to go in there again.

The screaming freaks me out.

Jazz: it hurts my heart to see noelle

Suffering from a ptsd episode right now.

Just everything is messed up right now.

You know, she's just trying to live her life

And enjoy prom,

But she can't even have fun.

I mean, like being in loud, crowded spaces

Just sucks right now.

I genuinely feel like,

No matter how irrational it is,

I feel like someone's gonna walk in with a g*n.

Jazz: no, that is not irrational.

I can't imagine what that's like for noelle

To have seen her friends being k*lled before her eyes.

Like, I can hear the g*nshots,

Because when I was rushing out to the courtyard

When everything was happening, I heard three g*nshots,

And it turns out they were one of the last three

When his g*n started jamming.

And yeah, I just...

We don't have to go back in there.

You can go in if you want.

No, I'm not leaving you.

Although, actually, there is cheesecake.

I need to bring out the cheesecake for you.

And then, do you want me to ask the other friends

If they want to come out here for awhile?

I'm gonna be honest, I don't want to ruin any of your nights.

No, it's not.

I'm gonna get everyone else.

Noelle is really suffering from this.

You know, this is real ptsd.

She is having a difficult time.

And no one deserves to feel this way,

And I just really want to do whatever

I can to make her feel happier.

Um, do you guys want to go hang out with us over there?

She's not doing well,

Because she has ptsd when she hears loud noises,

And its just a little loud and overwhelming.

[ Loud cheers, screaming ]

Did she want to go?

I myself have never been in a sh**ting,

But I have hard g*ns before,

And its one of the worst sounds ever.

It's traumatizing.

Look, I got the whole posse.

Sander: I want to be there for noelle, but I feel so helpless.

No matter how hard I try,

I can't put myself in her shoes,

And I can't tell her that I think

Everything is going to be alright.

Noelle: the only thing that really helps me get through these happenings,

Are the love and support that family and friends give me.

It really helps when they're around me.

Sander: how you doing?

[ Cheers and screams ]

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

The screaming freaks me out.

Jazz: let's go outside.

You won't be able to hear anything.

-Thank you. -Of course.

I tend to think that I'm getting better

And I'm getting over everything as the days go on,

And I have less problems or I have no problems.

And then, one day like this will hit me,

And I just can't handle anything

And it feels like the world is crumbling.

[ Crying ]

Lynn: seeing noelle cry, it really hurts me,

Because no individual should ever go through such trauma.

It really is heartbreaking to see her in such a state,

Because I really do care about her.

Jazz: are you okay? Are you feeling better?

I'm feeling better.

I can tell you're feeling better.

We're gonna stay out here forever.

I really messed this dress up.

[ Chuckles ] it's okay.

I can't cure noelle's ptsd, but I can be a good friend.

I am going to stick by her side no matter what.

She is strong, and she can surpass all of this

No matter how hard it seems.

We'll get through this together.

Me and jazz will go get her stuff,

And then we'll be right back outside.

And we'll head home, we can jam in the car.

And we'll have fun. We'll make this night fun.

♪♪

Oh, my god.

What?!

Jazz: so, I run into victoria.

I didn't know you were here.

Yes.

I did not expect that at all.

This is really awkward.

♪♪