05x11 - Reevaluation Realness

[bunniefuu]

Previously on "I am jazz"...

Here we go, girls.

-Whoa. -Come on in.

I could get used to this for sure.

Just thinking about the possibility

Of maybe, like, moving.

Off to a dorm at college.

Like about a year from now.

If I want to do this, then I feel like I should do it.

Dr. Ting: I felt something go pop,

And the whole thing, it just split open.

Oh, my goodness.

We need to intervene to do something.

I'm honestly scared when this gets out

That people are going to freak out.

After the surgery, I just went silent.

You did.

Have you thought about a facebook live?

They can ask questions real-time.

What's up?

Jazz: I'm excited to introduce ahmir to my world.

They took my stomach lining to create the vag*na.

Okay.

I'm freaked out.

I'm actually a little annoyed

With how negative ahmir is being.

[ Cellphone rings ]tara: hello?

Jazz: ahmir's mom doesn't approve of our relationship.

I want to understand what the problem is

If he is dating someone transgender.

He's not telling you the truth.

What truth is he not telling me?

Get off the phone with her.

I don't know what this means for our relationship.

--Captions by vitac-- www.vitac.com

Captions paid for by discovery communications

♪♪

[ Cellphone rings ]

Hey, what's up?

I'm driving right now.

I'm gonna go shopping with noelle.

I've been back home from new york for three days,

And this is the first time

I've spoken to ahmir since then.

In new york, I saw a different side of ahmir.

He was in this weird mood at times,

And after having the phone call with ahmir's mom,

Everything feels more complicated.

How has it been since you went back home to philly?

Really? That's awful.

Honestly, like, that breaks my heart.

I can't imagine not speaking to my parents

While living under the same roof.

The reality that ahmir lives in is definitely different

Than the reality I live in.

I wish that he had people who backed him up.

Well, I want you to come down to florida for my birthday, maybe.

He doesn't seem too excited or enthusiastic

About coming down to florida, and I understand.

Traveling costs money, but is a big birthday.

It would make sense that my boyfriend

Would come down to celebrate with me.

Do you miss me?

Okay.

I kind of feel like ahmir is acting distant.

I really wanted his reassurance that he missed me

And that he wanted to come down to florida,

But I didn't get that, so there's a lot of confusion

Going on in my head.

I'll talk to you later.

Okay?

Ahmir: okay.

Okay.

♪♪

♪♪

The cats are looking at you through the window.

-Where's your sponge? -In there.

You're not gonna help out?

I would if I had another sponge.

I can draw hearts.

But I didn't really get to talk to you much about

N...y...c.

Jeanette: it's been a few days since we got back from new york,

And I feel like the relationship between jazz and ahmir

Was definitely tested

And probably a little emotional for her,

So I'm really happy that she's got a lot going on.

She's meeting with an anti-bullying support group

Called nveee to collaborate, which is great for her

Because she's looking to expand her advocacy work.

So ahmir visited you, you said, right?

Jeanette: yeah, ahmir came.

He came to the bra thing with us.

Yeah?

Yeah, he just chilled out with me, you know.

He's not a big talker,

And his mom says he doesn't talk much.

You talked to his mom?

Well, ahmir and jazz

Had a phone conversation with her.

I am taken aback

Because we knew that there's so much animosity

Between ahmir and his mom about the issue.

I really didn't want jazz to be involved in it.

The mom said something to the effect of,

"All you people, you know, play the victim."

-She said that to jazz? -Yeah.

How was jazz reacting to this?

She wasn't happy.

Greg: I really don't want there to be anything

In the way of jazz's relationship,

But this is certainly a big obstacle

That could result in some heartbreak.

Jeanette: I need your opinion on something.

You know how I've been stressing out

Because so many parents have been e-mailing me

And texting me and facebooking me,

"How's jazz doing? What happened with jazz's surgery?"

And little bits and pieces have snuck out about the fact

That things didn't go according to plan.

I really just want to get ahead of this

So that there's no speculation.

I think that the best way to do that

Is through a facebook live.

When jeanette says that she wants to do a facebook live,

I'm cautious.

I'm not big on sharing in a noncontrolled environment.

If it's a closed group and you have

That kind of control, then I'm fine.

I don't know any other way to do it.

They need to hear it from us,

Straight from the horse's mouth.

After the surgery, very little facts were known,

So people were speculating as to what went on,

And I don't want anybody to think the worst of the worst

And deny their kids the surgery

When this is a life and death situation

With some children.

I know a few women out there that,

They ask some serious questions,

And, you know, it's not gonna be easy for me to do this.

♪♪

-Hi, welcome. -Hi.

Is there anything we can help you find?

-I'm just looking for leggings. -Okay.

Jazz: I'm not really a big shopper,

But I'm actually super excited to shop with noelle today

Because we're gonna be buying leggings.

-Hey. -What's up?

I have never shopped for leggings before,

But now that I have a vag*na, I can.

In this stage of my transition,

I have next to no use for leggings.

But one day.

One day, not today.

I have been wearing pants exclusively for years,

And just the prospect that in a year,

I'm gonna get to wear leggings and just, like,

Rip these vile things off my legs, I'm excited.

Should I get wacky leggings like these?

I'm gonna vote against that.

Oh, okay. These?

All right. Didn't see the skulls on that.

Next one.

Okay, I like these, do you?

Literally everything in the store where I'm like,

"Don't pick that, jazz,"

You're like, "noelle, look what I found."

I definitely love vibrancy and color

And patterns and fun things,

And noelle just likes black and gray.

I want to try on all of these.

Eugh!

That wasn't a human noise.

These are cool.

She's coming out.

Wait, I want to see. Can I open my eyes?

Wait, your eyes weren't open? I just did a whole dance.

-Those look good. -Better than the old?

Noelle: much better.

Is it comfortable, like, in that area?

Wait, is that a camel toe?

A little? No. -No, not really.

Trying on leggings is so, so amazing.

Saleswoman: how did they work for you?

I love them. They're really cool.

-Nice. -All right.

Let's look around a little bit more.

Jazz: it's so nice to know that I could wear

Anything I want without worrying about having a bulge.

I just feel so much more confident and comfortable

In my body.

I just went to new york,

And dr. Ting cleared me to do everything --

Swimming, biking, running.

And then I met up with ahmir as well.

Have you ever gotten a chance to, like,

Meet ahmir's mom yet?

You were, like, super worried.

We ended up doing a phone call with her,

And that didn't go that well.

In what way?

She just kept calling ahmir gay, and she was like,

"You're a man," and this and that.

-But how are you taking it? -I don't know.

Of course, you know, if you're gonna be in a relationship,

You want their family to like you,

And you want to be one big, happy family,

But in this case, it's just not the reality,

And it will never be the reality.

I consider myself someone who always

Has a little bit of wisdom to impart,

And I really find myself lost with any advice.

Like, there's nothing I can tell her

To make the situation better.

Just I hope it doesn't ruin their relationship.

Do you know when you're gonna see ahmir again?

We talked about him coming down for my th birthday,

But I'm not sure if that's happening or not.

Like, it's weird because I've never been

In a relationship, and the first...

First one is long-distance.

...which is a super-committed relationship,

But it is what it is.

Do you still feel that excitement that you did

When you, like, were still first meeting him?

[ Sighs ]

Yeah. I don't know.

I don't know if I feel that for him.

When I first met ahmir, we were having fun,

Enjoying our time together.

He was excited.

I was excited because this was so new to me,

But with everything that happened in new york

And ahmir suddenly acting distant,

I just don't know where my head is at.

It definitely makes me reevaluate our relationship

And the direction it's going in.

We have some questions coming in.

I would truly be devastated if parents said no to surgery

Because of what happened to jazz.

When they took the bandages off,

It looked like a burn victim.

Woman: but, I mean, it just sounds like jazz was m*nled.

♪ Oh oh oh ♪

♪ Whoa oh oh oh oh ♪

♪ Whoa whoa whoa ♪

♪ Whoa whoa whoa ♪

I'm excited. I've never seen this campus.

It's gorgeous.

Jeanette: today we're visiting the university of miami.

Jazz has one more year left of high school,

And she really hasn't thought about college that much.

In fact, since we got back from new york,

She keeps talking about moving out.

-Hi! -Hi.

Nice to meet you. I'm marissa.

I'll be your tour guide today.

I do not think that jazz is ready to live independently,

And I really hope that by seeing life on campus,

Jazz will realize there's no rush to move out

Because in a few months, I'm gonna go to college,

And there's dorms where she'll have lots of new friendships

To make.

Jazz: it really does feel like a resort.

-It does. -Definitely different.

Jazz has been asking me a lot to move out with her,

And it really is something that's been on her mind,

But I just think it puts way more stress on her

Than she needs.

She deserves to move slowly with her growing up

And not grow up so quickly like she wants to.

You might recognize this area from when drake sh*t

His music video for "god's plan" last year.

Jazz: the campus is really beautiful.

Ooh, that person is cute.

And I see a lot of other kids my age,

And I see some cuties out there, boys and girls.

Jeanette: a few times I did catch her checking out people,

People-watching.

There were a lot of pretty people to watch, too,

And you can sense the fun as well,

So I hope she sees life on campus has a lot to offer.

We have several different housing options,

So you can choose to have substance-free housing.

You can have gender-inclusive housing.

They fit everyone's needs.

You want to move out. Just wait a few months.

You can move out right here, look, where you could live.

Ari: be with a bunch of people your age

And not with a -year-old.

Yeah.

Jazz: everyone is suggesting I just wait till college

Till I move out of the house,

And I understand that's the traditional way of doing things.

However, I'm really looking to have

Those independent experiences right now.

Marissa: this is the last stop on the tour.

There's a lot of fun things to do on campus,

So feel free to stay on and explore.

-Thank you. -It was very sweet of you.

-Thank you so much. -You did great.

Jeanette: I do not believe being at the university of miami

Has swayed jazz in any way, shape or form.

She still wants to move out,

And I just don't know how to put a stop to it.

♪♪

-Hey, guys. -Hey, guys.

[ Laughter ]

-Hi. -Hi. How are you?

Jazz: I was asked by the organization called nveee

To speak at one of their groups

With other teens who have experienced bullying.

Nveee stands for national voices for equality,

Education and enlightenment.

It started out of the need of seeing youth being bullied

And committing su1c1de due to being bullied.

It's important to note that nveee

Is not an lgbt organization

Because all youth have a potential to be bullied.

Jazz: since the surgery,

I've been wanting to expand my advocacy platform

Beyond just the lgbtq+ community,

And the bra campaign showed me my story is a universal message,

So when nveee contacted me about working with them, I thought,

"This is the perfect opportunity that I've been looking for."

Jowharah: we invited jazz to participate today

Because our young people admire other young people

Who are strong enough to share their stories and to persevere.

Thank you for having me and my mom here.

We're super excited.

I am transgender, which means I was born biologically male,

And I have experienced bullying and discrimination

On so many different levels from kids and adults alike.

Throughout elementary school,

A lot of the kids didn't really understand

What it meant to be transgender.

They thought I was a boy.

One student asked the question,

"If you could k*ll any classmate, who would you k*ll?"

And they said me.

And it hurt to hear that, but I hope by sharing my story,

I can help others realize that you have the ability

To only allow self perception to matter.

Like, in school I'm known as, like, the quiet girl,

So nobody talks to me or they feel like

I don't want to talk, which isn't true.

Social alienation is what my mom

And I used to call exclusionary bullying,

Where someone is excluded or left out from a group.

When you're excluded from a group,

You feel like you did something wrong

Or that you're not good enough.

If you don't have that peer group at school,

When you leave school, there's no peer group either.

For me, it's very frustrating because I feel like

I can't help my own child.

Lucia: yeah, like, towards the end of summer,

I was like, "man, like, I got to go back to my school

With nobody there," and it kind of sucks.

Do you think you're a good listener?

Yeah.

Honestly, that's such a valuable trait

To have in a friend,

And everyone wants a listener.

Jeanette: my heart always breaks in these situations.

I just want to hug every one of those kids.

I'm gail, and I'm trans,

So I started going to an lgbt group

After I had come out to my parents,

But even then, there was still things

That would happen at the group.

I would get texts out of nowhere.

People being like, "oh, yeah,

So-and-so was talking about how you're not trans enough

And that you're so fake."

Don't feel like you have to do anything to be,

You know, the "right type" of transgender person.

There is no right type of transgender person.

Gender is a spectrum, and you could be whoever you want to be.

It's really tough when you face bullying in your own community.

It just shows that there's still a lot of work for us to do.

Hi, I'm andrew or drew.

I am a q*eer person,

And I came out a little bit to my family,

And it just wasn't, like, the best reception.

Just the cycle of hating myself more

For being someone I didn't like

Just kept spiraling and spiraling

Until my sophomore year of high school

That, I'll be honest, I did attempt su1c1de.

Mom, how has drew's journey impacted you and your family?

When he actually attempted su1c1de,

Obviously as a parent, it's one of the hardest things,

But we've come a very, very long way,

And now we can talk

And, yeah, he's % support.

Andrew: I have heard of jazz, especially growing up

And having someone that I respect

Talking about their experiences,

It made it a little easier to just know that,

Like, I'm not alone

And that everyone experiences some things.

It definitely gets better.

To be able to speak out and listen,

It's a very powerful thing to do.

Nveee has inspired me to use my platform in new ways

Because it's so important that kids have a safe space

Where you can be your true self,

When you can talk about these issues

Because internalizing them and not sharing them

And speaking out about your stories

Will only make it that much worse.

I just wanted to thank all of you for sharing your story.

Yay!

♪♪

You know, just hearing all of those kids talk,

It makes me realize that, like, the experiences

You have at a young age influence your development,

And if you could speak to kids

Who are, like, and under,

And if you teach them the lessons about being yourself

And not caring what anyone else thinks,

Then that's a powerful thing to do.

I really want to speak to kids

Before they have to face all these hardships.

And how are you gonna do that?

Jazz is such a great youth activist,

And I think it would be great for her to expand advocacy

And talk to kids that have been bullied

Because that's something she knows a lot about.

What are you gonna do?

I don't want to do something like a support group

Because that's not enough.

I want to create an escape for kids, you know?

Like a full day of, like, fun activities.

It doesn't have to just be, like, trans kids or lgtbq kids.

It could be their allies and peers

And just all kids, you know?

I don't know.

Doing a jazz camp or just, like, a day

Where all of these kids can come together...

But one day, right, one day?

Yeah, one day. What should we call it?

I think...should it have the name jazz?

Jazz hands day?

Jazz hands day!

Jazz hands camp. Jazz hands day camp.

Jazz hands day camp.

I'm always for jazz helping the kids,

But she has never organized an event before.

I am worried it's too ambitious,

But if she wants to do it, I'm always supportive.

Let's do it, but you've got to do a lot of the work.

I'm doing this.

I really, really like what I have with ahmir,

But another part of me wants to build with others.

I've been getting mixed messages from ahmir since new york.

Maybe you're not ready for a relationship.

Do you want to break up?

Jack: this is a very strange feeling

Having my -year-old granddaughter

Driving me somewhere.

I think this is the first time that's ever happened.

Jazz: yeah.

Jazz: today my grandpa and I are going to see jolie,

The psychic who predicted

That my surgery would go wrong, and then it did.

Since my grandpa's health scare,

I definitely appreciate every second that I spend with him,

And we talk about deeper things.

This is serious, what you went through.

Like, it was actually

A near-death experience basically.

Do you fear death?

I fear not being.

I think my grandpa fears his own mortality more than ever.

I'm hoping that going to the psychic

Will potentially open my grandpa's mind

To the possibility that we are eternal in nature

And that the thought of you always continues to live on.

I believe in coincidental things

That happen that you can't explain,

But I always found that there's always been

A scientific explanation for these things.

♪♪

Jacky: hi, sweetheart.

-Hey, guys. -Hi.

I haven't seen you all summer. How are you?

Woman: I'm good! I'm busy. I'm good.

How are you? How's jack?

Jack is good. He's back to jack.

But how's the hair because he's got the best hair.

Oh, nothing happened to the hair.

I wonder how it's going with your father

And with the psychic.

How did she get him to agree to go to a psychic?

Jazz got jack to go to a...

Well, I think your father is maybe

Becoming a little more bendable?

Jazz really holds in high esteem what psychics say.

Like, she puts it on another plane,

And what the psychics say has to happen,

And she drives us all crazy with it,

But my dad is a scientist,

So the fact that jazz wants to take my dad to the psychic,

I'm thinking, "give me the popcorn and put my feet up.

I want to see this."

I'm thinking maybe I ought to go to the psychic.

I'm afraid to go. I'd see a medium though.

Here's my thoughts on a medium.

They see, like, dead people,

Which means dead people are around all the time,

So not to be graphic, but let's say you're having sex.

Does that mean, like, grandma jeanette

Is sitting on the corner of the bed watching you?

Right.

Yeah, I want a ghost that's gonna clean the house.

That's the ghost I want.

So I need the boyfriend update.

Last time we were talking, the mother...

Yeah. I spoke to the mom.

You did?

It was okay, and then it went bad.

-With you? -Jazz and her mother?

With jazz, she said something that turned jazz off.

"You people, you want sympathy, like you're all victims."

That's what she said, "you're all victims."

-The mother called... -Oh, wow.

And jazz, like, got upset. She raised her voice a little,

And that was the end of that. -Oh, so the mother hung up?

Jazz hung up on her.

Jacky: having ahmir's mother being transphobic

We needed like a hole in our heads,

But there's nothing I can do about it.

I'm on the outskirts of that one.

Jazz is sort of like realizing,

"Oh, my goodness. I got a boyfriend."

Like, she's a desirable woman. -That's right.

Like, there's somebody that desires her...

Great. That is such good news.

...and has hearts in his eyes for her.

It's given her a sense of confidence in that area.

-Yes. -Dad and I have not met him.

We certainly have heard... -I'd love you to meet him.

Is he going to be down this way again, any plans?

-For her birthday, he may. -Okay.

Her th birthday is coming up, can you believe?

-No. -She's an adult.

Now what am I gonna do with her?

It's like she doesn't want any rules.

She wants to move out. She is like,

"I'm turning , and I'm getting a place with ari."

-Does ari know? -Yeah, ari is like,

"Wait a minute. I can't afford my own place."

I was gonna say, "who's paying for all that?"

Jazz is like, "I'll use my money."

Does she blackmail you? Are you ever...

What do you mean, "blackmail"?

You know, sometimes a yes comes you're just afraid

Of a no or not comfortable with a no.

She manipulates.

Jacky: jeanette is a fluff.

It's greg who lays down the law, but jazz is very strong

And has the power of going off and doing her thing,

And you don't want to push too hard

That she's gonna get into major trouble.

It's frightening, so she pretty much has rule of the roost.

Anyway, I'm just gonna forget about...

Forget about it.

I'm just not gonna bring it up again.

♪♪

Jack: I'm sort of excited by the fact

That jazz wants me to go with her to the psychic

Because I'm not going to go on forever,

But while I'm here, I want to enjoy every moment

With my granddaughter.

Hi. -We have a reading scheduled.

Oh, look, there she is. -Hey, how you doing?

-Jolie? -Yep, nice to meet you.

-Pleasure. -Nice to meet you, jack.

Jack: this is my general feeling about psychics.

They will speak in general terms,

And they will say a lot that can apply to everybody

And may coincidentally apply to me,

But I'm going to go along with it.

So I'm what you call a clairvoyant channel,

And I channel archangel michael,

So I'm hearing his voice.

He's gonna tell me things,

And I'm just going to be the messenger.

The first couple messages that I got for you, jack,

Your guides are saying to me that you want to know

If you will move from your location

Where you're currently living.

We have no such plans for any move.

Jazz: I know my grandpa is skeptical

About every single thing she says.

If she's accurate about something,

Then she gets a check mark.

If she's not, then that gives an "x,"

And three x's and she's out.

Do any health issues come up?

I felt a little something in the heart area,

Like a irregular heartbeat or something like that.

You hit the jackpot.

Irregular heartbeats are extremely common.

Do you want to ask anything or...

-Not about me, but about jazz. -Okay.

She has a new acquaintance, a boyfriend.

So I've never met ahmir,

And jazz does not express her feelings about ahmir to us.

Okay, so the first thing

I'm hearing from archangel michael

Is that it's a good relationship for now.

I'm not getting

That it has to be a long-term commitment.

Jazz: what the psychic says validates something

That I feel like I've already known within me.

While I love what we have right now

And I'm enjoying my time with him,

It's long-distance,

And it's just really, really challenging.

I just feel like my eyes are kind of elsewhere right now.

So, jazz, anything else you want to ask

Or want to know or...

I wanted to ask about me moving

Because I want to move so bad.

Let me see what archangel michael says.

Your guides are showing a happy ground here,

Meaning, like, kind of a compromise.

Why don't you do a trial, see if you like it,

And then everybody have an understanding that,

"Let's just try it for a couple weeks.

If it feels weird to me, then I'll come back.

You know, this way everybody could be happy with it."

I don't know if jolie's plan for moving out on a trial run

Came from archangel michael or her own mind.

Either way, I like the advice, and I'll stick to that.

Jack: I don't want to sound too critical about jazz's beliefs.

I like jolie.

She runs a good show,

But when it comes to receiving the proper advice

In terms of her moving out,

I would hope that jazz will use a little common sense

And listen to her family who knows her quite well

As opposed to a jolie

And whoever she brings forth to give her advice.

♪♪

Jeanette: I charged the computer.

That's good.

Bring your chair up.

Jeanette: this facebook live is extremely important

Because word has leaked out

That jazz had some complications with her surgery,

And I don't want anybody to think

Jazz was botched or anything like that.

Hey, everyone.

I would be so devastated if parents are horrified

And get scared off from having the surgery.

We have a lot of information...

-A lot. -...in a short amount of time.

If you want to type a question, your name will be seen,

Or we're gonna have a phone number,

And you can just do a call.

Anyway, so let's get started with jazz's journey.

You know, I was a tough case because I was suppressed.

I went on the hormone blockers

When I was years old,

Which caused me to have a lack of tissue,

So they were able to extract the peritoneal lining

And take a skin graft and use all of that material

In order to build a vag*na,

And they made it work, and not only that,

But the vag*na has inches of depth.

It looked absolutely amazing, like a cisgender vag*na.

I was so happy,

And I thought the hard part was over, but no.

So july th in the morning, we woke up,

And everything goes downhill.

Jazz: I know my mom is worried about scaring other trans youth

And their families, but the honest reality is

That it was a scary experience for me and my family.

I think it's so important that we are very open

And honest about my experience

So that everyone is aware that this does occur,

But also that it was worth it in the end no matter what.

There was, like, this giant blue and black blister.

I could definitely see flesh.

Like, I knew that there was wound separation happening.

And we were scared. I have to be honest with you.

It was...yeah.

When they took the bandages off,

That was probably the worst time.

We saw what was basically no skin.

It looked like a burn victim, and I should say this now --

What happened to jazz is rare.

Most wound separation will heal on its own and doesn't...

You don't even need to go in for a repair.

It just heals.

It's just like anything.

We have some questions coming in.

Okay, we got questions.

Okay.

If you could do anything differently, what would it be?

Nothing. -I mean, there's nothing.

We felt that we did everything that we were supposed to do.

We did everything we could do.

Like, there was nothing that we did.

In terms of the complications, like,

That was out of everyone's control,

So you can't predict

That something like that's gonna happen.

How long before you could become sexually active?

So normally I think it's months after surgery,

But for me, I think it's going to be

A couple of extra months.

I do have a boyfriend now, so that's weird,

But I'm not looking...

She's not having sex anyway, so...

I'm not looking to have sex quite yet.

[ Computer rings ]

Oh, we have a call!

You do it because I don't know how.

-Hello? -Hello?

-Hi. -Hi!

Woman: I have a trans daughter.

She is , and we followed your story from the beginning,

And we suppressed her,

And, you know, we're close to surgery,

But I have to be honest --

This story, I'm just completely scared.

I mean, it just sounds like jazz was m*nled.

This is exactly what I was worried about.

I was worried that people would be scared.

Woman: I have to be honest -- it just sounds like...

It sounds like jazz was m*nled.

Jazz: I don't think I was m*nled.

The surgeons treated me with the greatest care,

And, I mean, even though I did experience

A complication,

You just have to listen to what your daughter wants.

Like, this is what I wanted.

I knew the risk going into the surgery,

But I didn't care.

Jeanette: everybody needs to know the facts

That wound separation does happen.

It's not completely rare.

With any surgery, sometimes healing isn't perfect,

But we don't want people to think that their daughters

Are gonna get m*nled because they're not.

Even though things went bad, we feel very fortunate

That jazz had great doctors,

And it wasn't their fault that this happened.

I've always wanted my external appearance

To match how I feel internally,

So even though I experienced this major complication,

It was so worth it because I feel great.

I feel more confident in myself, and...

And it's fine now.

Yeah. I hope that helped.

Just please keep in touch with your doctors

And do homework, like I said,

And just know that everything is gonna be okay in the end,

So I wish you all the best to you and your daughter.

I guess this is the end of it.

Thank you all for tuning in.

-Blow kisses. -I hope you learned something

And we were able to help in some way.

Love you all. Bye. -Bye-bye.

Hold on, can we look up the definition of that word?

m*nled -- to severely mutilate, disfigure,

Damage by cutting, tearing or crushing.

That's a little harsh,

But, you know, to be honest with you,

I could see why people think that,

But this is why we did this.

Jeanette: I'm really pleased

About how the facebook live went.

This was jazz's story.

This was jazz's journey, and look at her.

She's even doing well, so they should be encouraged

Knowing that even if something were to go awry,

That you can get through it and still be okay on the other side.

♪♪

-Hey. -Hey!

Saved you a spot.

Jazz: this is the first time I've been to the beach

Since my surgery.

Young woman: you look so good! You're wearing a one-piece?

Yes. I haven't swam with a vag*na yet.

I wonder if it's going to be different

Or if it's like --

Does water, like, go up the whole vag*na?

No!

I imagine it's more aerodynamic.

Seeing jazz in a one-piece bathing suit,

She is literally glowing with excitement.

I've known her since middle school,

And she'd always wear shorts and cover-ups,

And I've never seen that in my life.

This is a monumental day.

Jazz: I can't believe I made it to this point.

Looking back, it was a long journey to get here,

But now I feel like I'm almost %.

Do you have any plans for your birthday?

-Um, no. -All right.

-Do you have anything in mind? -No.

Nah, it'll all come together somehow, someway.

Like, I'll figure it out,

But while I don't have that plan,

I am planning this, like,

Um, jazz hands day-camp thing.

It's gonna just be, like, a bunch of youth,

You know, all these kids coming together,

And then they learn that love is love

And that being unique is good.

When did you start thinking of this?

Well, I went to this support group

For teens who experience bullying,

And I realized that this all starts at a young age.

-That'd be amazing. -That'd be awesome.

I know. It'd be fun.

When it's the actual thing,

We can go with you and help you with it.

You just have to let us know the day.

I'd love that

Because, yeah, I want you guys to help me out.

I'm really, really proud of jazz for creating this new day camp,

And hearing about it just makes me really excited

To be able to help.

She's finally starting something

That's gonna help a lot more people

Other than just the people she's reached so far.

I think the youth is a big part of our future.

Young woman: if you make flyers, I can hand them out

To the middle schools in our area.

-Okay. -That sounds amazing.

We can make flyers and do all that.

Yeah. I can help you with that, too.

There's so many attractive people at the beach.

Is it bad that I'm, like, looking at people

When I have a boyfriend?

Not really.

I mean, you can look at people and think they're cute.

It's not like you're gonna go up to them

And try and talk to them and stuff.

As long as you're not doing that.

I just feel this, like, urge within me

To kind of put myself out there more

Now that I'm confident in my body and myself.

I don't know. If you have a boyfriend

And you're thinking about other people,

Maybe you're not ready for a relationship.

Jazz is just now in her first relationship.

I know she's trying to figure out how everything works.

She's never really been in one,

So it's all a learning experience,

And I feel like jazz should have a chance

To explore what's out there.

I really, really like what I have with ahmir.

Part of me wants to continue building with him,

But another part of me wants to build with others,

So how could I have both?

You should just be open with ahmir.

Tell him what you're telling us,

And if he's not okay with that,

Then he's not right for you.

Yeah.

Ahmir is a pretty monogamistic dude,

So I don't think he's going to be fully open to the idea

That I'm checking out other people

And kind of want to explore.

However, I've been getting mixed messages from ahmir

Since new york.

I just need to tell him how I'm feeling.

I've been dying to test this vag*na out in the water.

All right. Let's go.

Let's swim.

Yo, she has never taken her shorts off before.

-All right. -Let's see it.

-Monumental! -Monumental!

Young woman #: yes, look at you! Ooh, girl!

You look so good.

Look, I have vag*na!

Ah!

Jazz: it's so nice to be able to go to the beach

And not have to keep my shorts on when I go swimming.

It's just me and a flat surface and...

All right. Let's go swim.

Yes!

♪♪

♪♪

Jazz: the psychic said that the best thing we should do

Is a little trial run living on my own.

-I don't really care! -And I think we should...

She's not your mother. I'm your mother.

Jeanette: she just wants what she wants, and she wants it now.

I don't want to get in an argument with you

About moving out. -No, this isn't an argument.

It is! I'm arguing.

♪♪

Jazz: I'm about to facetime with ahmir,

And I want to tell him all of the things

That have been going through my head.

Maybe it's time that we make our relationship more casual,

And I'm not sure how ahmir is gonna react,

So I'm nervous on the inside.

Hey. -Hey.

What's up?

So you feeling good?

Yeah.

Okay.

Well, I want to talk to you

About something that's kind of serious,

And it might not make you feel as good,

But, you know, we got to have these conversations

In our relationship,

And I just need to talk about what I'm really feeling.

Sometimes I just feel like we're not always

On the same level, and I don't know.

I realize, like, every time I'm in public places

Or looking around, like,

I see guys and girls who are attractive.

It's almost like I take interest in them

And want to explore something.

I feel like, um,

Where does that leave us, though?

I don't know.

I just don't know how to feel because

I haven't had any relationship experiences,

And I'm not ready to commit to something fully.

So, like...

Do you want to break up?

No, I don't want to break up,

But I do think I need to sort out my feelings with you.

Listen, how you're feeling is not wrong,

And it's not unheard of, but...

No, no.

To stop it now with all the growing

That we've done is...

I think that's ridiculous.

Just know that, like, I have these emotions,

And these thoughts are in my head,

And that's why I'm sharing them with you

Because I want to be honest.

Did I upset you?

Did I worry you at all?

I understand where you're coming from.

I don't think ahmir has fully come to terms

With the idea of us being in a less committed relationship.

I think he's agreeing to it,

But it's definitely out of his comfort zone.

I could see in his eyes that he's definitely hurt,

But I really appreciate that he's giving me

The space to explore with other people

While continuing my bond with him.

This is how relationships get stronger.

Mm-hmm.

All right?

All right.

Bye. -Bye.

-Look. -What?

Trick. Treat!

[ Gasps ] that is freaking cool.

Should I be a treat or a trick today?

Don't ever be a trick, please.

You're a treat. What's up with you?

So I just had a serious talk with ahmir,

But it actually went a lot better than I was expecting.

Basically, I've been sorting out my emotions lately,

And while I want to continue what I have with ahmir,

I still have my eyes open,

And, like, I don't want to limit myself.

I think that's really smart.

Jeanette: I like ahmir, but, you know,

They kind of dove in really fast,

And there's just all these complications,

And I really think it's very important for her

To meet all sorts of people.

I'm a firm believer in experimenting, I guess.

What made you come to this conclusion?

Well, you know, I'm just finally catching up

With my emotions,

And the psychic said that the relationship is good

And that it's something I should continue,

But she also saw that I did want to explore,

And then she also...

You know, how I really want to get my own space?

She said that the best thing we should do is compromise,

So she said maybe I should do, like, a little trial run

And get a place,

And we'd test that out, see how I do living on my own.

No. Either you're out or you're in.

There's no compromise.

How did this turn into a conversation

About you moving out?

Are you pushing it because she said it or...

Doing a -minute-away move

Is, like, it's not a big deal.

But I don't think you're ready.

The way for me to become all that you want me to be

Is by being on my own.

You can't even prove it here first.

-I can! -I don't want to get

In an argument with you about moving out.

-No, this isn't an argument. -It is! I'm arguing.

I do not see her moving out.

I do not condone it.

I do not want her to do that

Because she doesn't tend to take care of herself.

She kind of needs a little bit of pushing.

There's nothing that could go wrong.

You know, there really isn't.

What's stopping you

From letting me do what makes me happy?

My common sense.

I just think that you can't organize your life.

I don't picture you dilating three times a day.

I don't think you're disciplined at all.

Mom, i...instead of trying to see it here...

I don't want to be your babysitter.

I really don't want to be. -Yeah.

Instead of trying to do it here, can we do this trial run...

No, because I don't know if you're doing it.

If I'm not there on top of you, you could just be lying,

And the next thing I know, you're like,

"Mom, my vag*na closed up"... -Mom, you'll know.

..."And guess what?

I dropped out of school because I didn't do my classes,

And I forgot to go to the sats the other day."

-Mom. -What?

This is what jolie said to me, and...

-I don't really care. -...and I think we should...

She's not your mother. I'm your mother.

Jazz: I don't think my mom is taking me seriously at all.

She still sees me as some immature kid

Who doesn't know what she wants,

But that's why I want to move out

So I could become more mature, handle my own finances,

Do my own budgeting and be able to live on my own

And prove to everyone

That I can be a responsible, independent adult.

It just feels like now is the time.

It really just...

Well, to me it doesn't feel like it's the time.

To me it feels like a disaster.

Jeanette: she just wants what she wants, and she wants it now.

But this time? No.

Next time on the season finale of "I am jazz"...

My baby is .

Yeah!

Jazz: it is early in the morning,

And we are heading out for my big birthday surprise.

I'm super excited.

I have no idea where we are going.

Greg: the surprise is revealed.

So how's the planning for your day camp?

I mean, I'm really excited for this.

However, what if no one shows up?

-Where is everyone? -This is everyone so far.

Nobody likes to see their child fail at something.

Jazz: what is going on?

I'm probably gonna buy myself, like,

A -month apartment.

When jazz wants something, she's always gotten her way.

Jeanette: I'm really tired of being a pushover.

Greg: do it.

You should be able to do the things

You need to while you're living here.

I hate when you say I could do it in this house.

I'm annoyed. Like, I want it to stop.

Enough.