06x02 - Ex-Factor

[bunniefuu]

Previously on "I am jazz"...

Jazz has to decide what college she's going to.

My two dream schools are harvard and pomona.

We are here, ready to see if I got into pomona or not!

[ Cheering ]

Okay, harvard, "congratulations!"

[ Cheering ]

There is a lot happening this year.

You didn't mention the surgery that I'm getting this year.

Jazz: I'm a little bit nervous for this third surgery,

So I'm hoping for the best

And that this will be the last operation.

-What's the deal with ahmir? -I broke up with him.

Ahmir did not handle the breakup very well.

But I actually invited him to visit me

In the hospital for my surgery.

I don't know if he's ready to see me again as a friend.

Heading to new york!

Jeanette: here we are again in a hospital, and it's just strange.

It's like a deja vu.

I just want to make sure that we don't have

Any issues like last time.

Greg: I'm hoping the doctors say everything

Went exactly as planned.

Come on, marci. We're two surgeons, here.

-I know. -We both have opinions.

I'm not going to do anything without her blessing.

There's not one driver. Let's not play that game.

Jeanette: we need a nurse, now.

--Captions by vitac-- www.vitac.com

Captions paid for by discovery communications

You in pain?

She's in pain. -What hurts?

What's the matter? -What's bothering you?

-Get the nurse in here. -Can we get a nurse in here?

Jeanette: we need a nurse, now!

It's okay. You're okay.

Shh. -I am freaking out.

Is she choking? Can she breathe?

Can she not breathe?

Where are the doctors?

I've never felt that before, where I've looked at my child,

And I'm like, "oh, my god."

All right, honey. Jazz, hey.

Look at me. You're breathing too fast.

Are you in pain?

-A little. -It hurts.

Okay. Let me call my anesthesiologist

So we'll see what we can do for you, okay?

It's okay. It's okay.

You having pain?

♪♪

Okay.

Jeanette: thank you so much, nick.

I appreciate it. -Oh, no problem.

I'm so glad you're here with her.

Jazz, I'll see you in a little bit, okay, sweetie?

All right. Thank you.

-Watch her sleep. -Yeah!

Jeanette: I'm so glad dr. Hurt has jazz's pain under control.

That really threw us for a loop, and that is over,

But we're in... Now what?

Greg: and the minute we got here,

She didn't look... -I thought it was more...

...like she normally does when...

No, no.

-...she comes out. -She was not happy at all.

And she started to cry.

Jeanette: I really hope this isn't a sign

Of other strange things happening.

♪♪

Jazz: I really don't feel well. I might throw up again.

Mom, can you hold my hand? -Yes, baby.

I got you.

Mm-hmm.

It's the morning of the first day after surgery,

And jazz is wiped out.

I feel so sick.

This definitely... -What are we doing?

...harder than the first surgery.

Jeanette: she did not sleep well.

She woke up nauseous and has been puking on

And off all day long,

And it's hard to watch her, and I wish I could help more.

-Hi! -Good morning!

-Morning. -Hey!

-Hi, everyone! -Hello.

-How's it going this morning? -Great. How are you?

-She's just hot. -Are you warm?

Yeah, because we had to turn the fan off.

We're very happy with this. -You know what?

This is actually a good time for you to take a look.

You know, there's a little bit of tension,

But it's so much better.

We corrected the scars that were so disfiguring,

And we were able to expose her clitoris.

Now where is the clitoris right now?

So... In there.

-Oh, yes! -Yeah.

It actually looks like a vulva.

Dr. Ting: it looks a lot better, doesn't it?

So much better.

Dr. Bowers: now the only disappointment is that we weren't able

To create little minor labia,

And that's why we raised the possibility of another surgery.

Can you explain the labia part of things?

If you take, like, a napkin,

When you create folds in the skin, you create labia.

Do you see? -Yeah.

But what we need is some more loose skin,

So what we're hoping is, as the edema subsides,

She'll get some more loose skin and basically form labia.

Jazz: I'm a little bit bummed that they weren't able

To create labia minora.

Hopefully, it'll look good once it heals,

But I feel like I just have to wait and see.

You know, we're keeping you here a little longer.

Jazz: how long?

And we're keeping you in this position.

I wouldn't want you to go home before the weekend.

Jazz: then maybe leave, like, monday?

Greg: it's great that the doctors are optimistic

About things the day after,

But I also know that things change over the next few days,

So I'm okay with jazz staying longer rather than shorter

Because I want to know that, in the event

That anything goes wrong, she doesn't have to go anywhere.

They could just take care of her right then and there.

-Thank you. -Mwah!

-Okay, bye. -See you later!

-I'll see you later. -Bye-bye. Have a good day.

Dr. Ting: thanks.

Here, I'll do that for you.

It's my last effort for you before I go.

I love you.

I'll keep in touch with you every day.

All right. Love you too.

All right? And I'll be in touch with mom.

I'll see you in less than a week, I hope.

-Okay. -All right. Love you.

Greg: I'm never happy to have to leave jeanette and jazz

When jazz isn't fully ready to come home, too.

-If there's anything... -Yeah, I'll keep you posted.

...that you need me for,

If I need to come back this weekend, I will.

Well, hopefully, that won't be the case.

Jeanette: greg is my rock, and of course, I wish he could stay for me

And for jazz, but I've got this.

Sander and I have this.

We got it.

♪♪

-Is anyone else visiting today? -Ahmir said he's here.

I don't want to do this.

[Door knock]

Come in!

Hello. -Oh, god.

Jeanette: look who's here!

Jazz: honestly, I feel terrible right now.

-How you feeling? -I was throwing up so much.

Jazz: I don't know if I'm really in the mood

To have any visitors right now, especially ahmir.

We're not really in a good place,

So I just don't know

If it was the right choice for him to come,

But I do appreciate his support,

And even though it didn't work out in the relationship sense,

I really built a special bond and connection with him,

And I hope that we can maintain that,

Even if it's not in a romantic way.

You didn't have any complications this time?

They were happy with the results,

And I feel like everything is going to stay in place.

How about you? How have you been?

Me, I'm doing fine, you know?

Just school, that's it.

I don't really know what's been going on between me and jazz

These past couple months.

She thinks things should be a certain way,

And I feel like she needs to give me more of a chance

Because I feel like, you know, she was closed off,

But regardless of what's going on between us, I can be here.

I can be there for her.

You're doing good in school, mr. . Gpa!

You go to college now?

Cool, I didn't know that! -I'm trying to study law.

That's the goal.

He's going to go to yale eventually.

He's going to go to yale eventually?

-Eventually. -Yeah, because I'm pushing him.

I'm aiming for u.s.c. Right now, though.

That's a good school, too.

Glad things are going well with you.

What?

I'm glad you could come as a friend.

I didn't know if you were going to or not.

Ahmir: I'm not sure how I feel about jazz wanting to be friends

Because I have feelings, and I still care about her.

-Are you happy you came? -At the moment, yeah.

Let's just get through the day and see what happens.

What's that face?

That was a weird response,

"At the moment, yeah, but we'll see what happens."

What does that mean?

Anything can happen. I don't know.

It feels uncomfortable. Like, I don't know.

I just feel uncomfortable because me and jazz

Are having a rough time,

And that is the elephant in the room.

So what's your plan?

I'm leaving tomorrow.

So do you just want to hang out here tonight?

Maybe we could watch tv later, whatever, or you want to leave?

What do you want to...

Oh...

♪♪

Now that is a hard decision.

It's been a long day for everyone.

Jeanette: it's really awkward.

I do not like moments of silence.

I wish that I had gone out to get, like,

A slice of pizza or anything.

♪♪

Oh, I can't talk right now.

I don't know what just happened to me.

-What is it? -I don't know.

It feels like an anxiety att*ck.

Okay. Breathe.

Do you need me to call the nurse for, like...

Maybe you need something to calm you down?

-I don't know. -Like last time...

I just suddenly... It just feels so weird.

Jazz: I think there's just so much tension with ahmir here,

And I'm feeling all of it.

It's been just a rough day.

I don't know. I just need some space.

Yeah. Well, we'll let you go.

Ahmir: when jazz started crying, I didn't know what to do.

I mean, usually, I would just, you know, go up to her,

Hug her, whatever, you know, care for her,

But with everything that's going on between us,

I don't know what I'm supposed to do in this situation.

You think you're going to be okay?

Yeah, I'm going to be fine.

I'll text you when I get to my hotel.

Okay.

Jazz: I was really hoping that this would go so much better,

But I think I made the wrong call...

She's not feeling well.

...because I don't think he has fully moved on.

Bye, ahmir.

Thanks for coming.

And I just feel really, really bad,

But I just don't know if there is room for us

To be friends in the future.

-Mom, come up here. -What's going on?

Jazz: I want you to look at something for me.

You see that? -Oh, my goodness.

♪♪

Jazz: it's month after my cosmetic revision surgery,

And I'm feeling pretty great, but, honestly, the recovery

Was a little bit more intense than I was expecting.

During certain parts of the process,

I was scared that it was never going to look good.

Good.

Good.

On a scale of to , I would say,

Right now, she's right about a ,

But we weren't able to create the labia minora

Because there just wasn't enough skin,

So hopefully, the labia will just form on their own,

And jazz won't need another surgery.

And now, I'm excited to just move forward with my life.

Mother! -Good morning.

Morning. -How are you doing?

Good. I made you a smoothie.

It's not my best.

As long as it has spinach and healthy stuff in it...

-Mm-hmm. -...and it's, like, healthy.

Every fruit...

Because I'm trying to get in the best shape of my life.

Me, too.

I'm done caring about image.

I'm beautiful no matter what size I am, but...

You're not healthy.

...in terms of my healthy, I'm not always very healthy.

Because you still binge every now and then.

-Yup. -Like yesterday?

Like yesterday.

I fell off the wagon. -What'd you get?

I got a chicken tender sub with buffalo sauce,

Five fried chicken drumsticks, a whole box of cookies,

Chocolate milk, and ferraro chocolates.

-I didn't see... -It was a binge.

Jeanette: I honestly think that jazz will never % fully

Get rid of the binge eating, and I'm really worried about her

Because there's many times that jazz has showed us

That she has no impulse control.

Now she's going off to college, and I've always been around.

Greg has always been around to help her

And guide her through those times that are really rough,

And we're not going to be there anymore.

I really feel that this is going to be a new chapter of my like,

That there's going to be a lot of changes,

And that I'm going to finally start taking the steps

That are best for me.

Jazz: sometimes I could be lazy,

And I have a lot of bad habits that I need to remove,

But since my original surgery last summer,

I have gone down a spiritual journey.

The surgery isn't the end of everything.

The medical change, yes, it's awesome.

It's amazing, and you get the body that you want,

But it's so much more than just altering you body.

You don't just wake up and be like,

"Oh, I have a vag*na. Everything is perfect.

I'm happy now. All my problems are solved."

No. You know, there's still a whole process

And a lot of soul-searching that follows the surgery,

And I'm really determined to work on myself.

So what's going on with you? What are you up to?

I am going on an airboat tour ride with kaci and jay.

Is your vag*na ready for an everglade?

-I'm healed enough. -Would you not -- oh, jazz.

Stop, you're not... Stop.

Just stop. Stop!

Put it down.

♪♪

Sanders: griffen doesn't lift anymore.

I'm kind of disappointed

That you haven't been working at at all.

You missed new york. I even worked out in new york.

I don't know why you were working out

When you were supposed to be taking care of jazz.

Taking care of jazz was tougher than you could imagine, bro.

She was just throwing up and not feeling well for days,

But to make matters worse, right as, like,

She was coming down from all this,

Ahmir wanted to come.

I think jazz needs to find someone

Who's a little bit more mature.

I don't think jazz has herself figured out.

-No, that's the thing. -Jazz is a little...

If she could meet a guy and/or girl

That's a year or older in college.

-I agree. -Like, that's where I really

Think she could find the right match.

Since jazz's surgery, she's opening up to who she is.

I think she has more confidence.

She's trying to lose weight.

She's wearing more makeup, and she's k*lling it.

Griffen: she looks good.

She's going to really wow some guys up at college.

I think she could find someone who could not only

Look out for her, but be there for her and love her

And show her the love she really deserves.

Unfortunately, it's easier said than done.

Right now, I look at you in your relationship,

And I kind of want something like that.

-You do? -Yeah.

I mean, it would be nice.

I would be a good boyfriend because...

[ Laughs ]

When I truly have feelings for someone...

[ Laughs ]

Because I can't remember the last time

Sander truly had feelings for a girl.

Right now, I'm actually trying to talk to girls

And get to know girls and, like...

Take girls on dates.

I just am nervous. I get nervous.

Bro, taking girls on dates is so easy.

You literally go to a pizza restaurant.

You order a pie or pasta or an appetizer or...

Not garlic rolls, just not garlic rolls,

And you talk, and you have a conversation,

And you get to know them.

Sander: my mind-set towards dating has begun to change

Because I feel more mature,

And I've really started to find myself, and now,

I feel like I'm ready to share myself with someone else.

-You could do it, man. -I've tried my best.

Honestly, I just wish that girl would just walk in

On a carpet, through the wind.

Behind you in the mirror, working out at the gym?

And I turn around, and there she would be.

That pole is my girl.

Okay, now that's just weird.

I kind of... Yeah.

That's weird.

♪♪

-Hello, group hug! -Hey!

-Good to see you guys. -Good to see you.

You excited? We're going on that airboat.

Look, right there? -I know!

-Oh, my god! -I haven't done this in so long.

Jazz: kaci and jay are totally the type of friends

Who can help me with my journey to becoming the best me.

I want friends who will just keep me in good spirits,

And that's what they really do.

They always make me happy every single time

I'm with them, and that's what friends are for.

[ Engine revving ]

All: whoo!

♪♪

Whoo!

-Oh, my god. -Where'd the gator go?

Jazz: oh, my god! It's right here!

[ Laughter ]

-Oh, my god! -That's a big one!

Yeah!

Jazz: going on this spiritual journey,

I've come to realize that, for much of my life,

I've kind of been on autopilot,

Just doing things without thinking much about it,

But now, I'm kind of more aware,

And I understand things better, and I'm more present,

And I'm still working on it and still growing,

But I feel like the amount of growth

That I've gone through in this past year is more than

I've gone through my entire life.

I'm so glad we did this.

Like... -Yeah.

...that was such a nice break from life.

Have you made a decision about school yet?

I don't know. I kind of feel like I'm torn.

I think that's so crazy.

Like, what we do within these next years will affect,

Literally, the rest of our life.

-Mm-hmm. -Like, forever, until we die.

Like, this is it. -This is our path-choosing time.

What was it about pomona that really made you feel so, like,

"Wow, this is, like... I love this so much"?

It was just a feeling, more than anything.

I felt like I would belong there and that I would be welcomed

And that I would succeed academically,

And the type of people that choose pomona

Are the people who do follow their heart

And who have that strong sense in knowing

And feeling that this is... -So people like you.

People like me, but I haven't visited harvard yet, so...

Harvard has such name recognition that,

When you say the word "harvard,"

Almost anyone is going to have some sort of response or opinion

Or feeling about it compared to when you say "pomona."

People are like, "huh? What? What is that?"

But I'm kind of leaning towards pomona right now.

I'm not going to lie,

But my parents are very headstrong

About me going to harvard.

You'll be okay.

I'll make the right choice.

So what ended up happening with ahmir?

You didn't really tell us the full story.

It was kind of weird because I had to cut him off.

Like, we're not talking anymore.

After that day?

Yeah, I've just... I have to close that chapter

And move on with my life, you know?

That's what happens.

I just want her to find someone that is kind of on her level,

Someone that she doesn't really need

To put effort into to fix them like she did kind of ahmir.

I want her to have someone that she can really,

Really connect with.

You think you're still, like, pansexual?

Like, you're still... -I'm completely pansexual.

I just see everyone as, like, consciousness...

-Yeah. -...and their physical form,

And I don't care about gender or your body.

That's, like, nothing to me.

It's about what's on the inside.

I remember, in the past, being so scared of you

Getting into a relationship... -Oh, my god.

...because I was like, "oh, my god.

Your heart is going to get, like, smashed into pieces,"

And you're out here breaking hearts now.

I'm like, "oh, my gosh! Oh, no!"

Honestly, I think in my next relationship,

I kind of want to be in the opposite position.

-You want to get hurt? -I want to get...

Kaci: no!

I know no one wants to get heartbroken.

That's, like, the worst thing to ask.

It changes you.

It changes you, and I think everyone kind of

Needs to experience that at least once.

Even though my breakup with ahmir

Is somewhat new, my heart is very open to find love.

I think that experience might come soon, so...

She doesn't know what's coming.

We know. -I don't know what's coming.

We're going to have to bring boxes of doughnuts to her room.

[ Laughter ]

♪♪

♪♪

Yep, you got me ready to ask girls on dates right now.

Well, you need to ask girls on dates.

You're not just going to, boom, magically have a girlfriend.

It just doesn't work like that.

-Hello! -What are you two doing?

Whoa!

What's good with with your eyelids?

You got a lot of makeup on, missy.

I don't actually have that much on, just...

You going on a date or something?

No, felt like looking cute.

You sure, just felt like getting dolled up?

-Yes. -College is coming up.

You meet new people every day.

Are you excited to meet that person

That you've been looking for?

I'm feeling both ways about it.

But right now, you single and ready to mingle.

-Yeah. -Yeah, me, too.

Jazz: I'm just open to anything.

We're the only single people in the family.

Thanks for joining me.

I know someone who's interested in you, actually.

Who? Who?

-Sander is like, "ooh!" -I mean...

Jazz: it's actually victoria's friend.

You remember victoria?

Victoria was like, "oh, my friend,

Blah, blah, saw sander, and she thinks he's cute."

-Set it up! -Set it up!

-Blind date. -I'm not not down.

I've never really been on a blind date

Where I don't even know the girl's name before I go into it.

It might be a little awkward.

I mean, I've been meaning to hang out

With victoria for a while now,

So maybe I could organize something with her,

And then, if you want... -Does victoria...

...victoria and I could set you up on a date,

So it might be like a double date.

I don't know what it is.

You and victoria are just friends?

Not necessarily. I don't know what we are.

We're just victoria and jazz.

Victoria and i, we have a very interesting relationship.

We've dated a couple of times,

But we've never really taken it to the next level.

Does victoria have a girlfriend right now?

I don't think so.

Last time I hung out with victoria, she had a girlfriend.

How long have you been together?

Not that long, actually.

But I noticed that she deleted the pictures of her

With her girlfriend off of instagram,

So I'm feeling like maybe they're not together anymore.

Jazz: I don't know.

I would just have to reach out to victoria to see for sure.

Jazz: and now that ahmir and I are no longer dating,

I'm curious to see if things can develop

More than just a friendship with victoria.

Marci is really thinking there needs to be another surgery.

We need to get a better handle on exactly what's going on here.

♪♪

-Hello! -Hey!

-Hi! -Hey!

-Don't get up, don't get up. -You look gorgeous!

Jeanette: now that jazz has gotten over the hump,

And the worst is behind us,

I'm really looking forward to being able to help

Other families on their journeys.

-I'm ready for a drink. -Yeah, me, too.

I need a drink.

Jeanette: cheryl's daughter, noelle, is having bottom surgery

Right around the corner, and my cousin,

Debbie, has great advice.

She's a therapist, and she works with a lot of trans people,

And of course, I've been there, done that.

So what's happening?

What's going on?

She really paused. -I don't like that face.

No, it's not too bad or anything, no.

We thought we were getting labia.

-So what do you mean? -What did they do?

They took the clitoris and moved it from : to :.

-Oh, no. -So it's in the right place.

So now you could tell time by her clitoris?

Great. Awesome.

Watching jazz's journey through the multiple procedures

She's had makes me worry about what is in front of noelle,

As she's getting ready to go through her surgery

In the next couple months.

First and foremost, I've been reading that a lot of people

Have post-op, like, depression. -Mm-hmm.

Did jazz go through anything like that?

She got really depressed after the second surgery.

That scares me the most.

Noelle is already in treatment for depression.

Do you think it will still hit her?

It's different for everybody.

Some people feel such a sense of relief and elation

That even though they're going to some discomfort,

They feel like they're accomplishing something.

What are some things that you think I should prepare for?

The hair issue.

I know it's minor, but you lay in bed for days on end,

You get like a matted thing.

We put jazz's hair in a braid, and you know what?

Make sure you have, like, some tv shows lined up.

You know, like some stuff you want to binge-watch.

You don't want her just playing video games

Because you kind of want...

You're going to be there with her and do it together.

And mike will be there for most of it.

Yeah, stuff that you can do together.

-It's a great time of bonding. -Yeah.

Now how does she feel about, like, having this done

And then going off to college?

She can't wait to go to college

Because she can't wait to get out of south florida.

Speaking of college, jeannette, has jazz decided

Where she's going to go or what she wants to do?

She's narrowed it down to two places

As to where she's going to do it -- pomona college,

And it's a very good school, but she also got into harvard.

-What? -And at harvard,

You could do anything you freaking want to do.

-That is amazing. -And I'm, like...

To me, if you win the olympic gold medal, you don't say,

"You know, I'd rather have the bronze."

That's a great analogy.

So, yeah, we have a lot more to talk about.

It's very exciting.

She doesn't let us be excited.

I hate to say it, but I just feel,

With the way jazz is and just being like,

"Whatever," or "I don't know," or "let me go with my gut,"

Or "let's see what the lights say," or...

You know, there's just so many variables here

That I just feel like it's going to be very stressful

Until she finally makes a decision.

But with her, I'm worried about, like, her mental well-being

And her dilation.

The minute she leaves my house, we have a dilation problem.

That is a concern.

When you don't have that watchful eye,

They tend to go back to old patterns.

I have woken jazz out of a dead sleep and taken the dilator

And put the lubrication on it and said,

"Here! You take this, and you put it in your vag*na.

If not, I will."

But jazz is bad, even when I'm home once a day.

I will be so mad if she goes away to college,

And that thing seals up.

I'll wring her neck.

Can you imagine?

Ugh.

She's lied about it. She's faked it.

You know how people fake orgasms?

-She was so great. -She fakes dilation.

Oh, lord.

I want to celebrate you.

What are we doing for your birthday?

I always said, when I was ,

I would go in for some type of work.

Just a little, like... -No, no.

You don't want to look permanently...

No, but like, just to age .

Ugh. Just make it go away.

It's like a toy, a toy that you never wanted.

[ Laughter ]

♪♪

Silverware. This is not for you!

Look, it's plastic.

Did anybody feed you today?

-Mom, come up here! -I'm coming. You okay?

Jazz: something's wrong.

Jeanette: when jazz has a certain tone in her voice,

And she's using the m-o-m word, I totally panic.

I feel it in my stomach immediately.

I'm like, "oh, no."

What's going on?

Jazz: I want you to look at something for me.

You see that? -What's that there?

-This is the urethra. -Oh, my goodness.

Jeanette: your urethra is supposed to be this tiny little thing!

Jazz: I know. It's weird.

Jeanette: where's the -- I don't see a vaginal canal then, jazz!

Jazz: you don't see it because there's a giant bulge there.

That's the problem.

This is freaking me out

Because my mom is confused about my urethra, my vag*na,

And that's not a good sign to me.

I want her to look at and be like, "oh, yeah!

That's that part. That's that part.

I know what this is. It's a vag*na!

It's a vulva! Yay!"

But she's not saying that.

Jeanette: let's take another photo.

Send it right over to dr. Bowers.

-Okay. -I'm trying not to panic,

But jazz and I have analyzed lots of vaginas.

We've seen hers.

We know what they're supposed to look like,

And honestly, I really have no idea

What I'm looking at right now.

-She's calling. -Mm-hmm.

Hi, good morning!

-Hi! -Did you see the photo?

How was it?

For me, it looked like there was this, like, bulge or bubble.

That's some of the residual erectile tissue,

And I think the urethra...

You know, that should be a little bit smaller.

So can that be fixed?

Based on what I see right now, I do think that another,

If you can stand it, another round of surgery.

Um, okay.

Huh.

Jazz: I really thought after this third surgery

That everything would be smooth sailing, but no.

Dr. Bowers: you know, this takes an emotional toll on...

Yeah.

I was feeling so much more confident in myself,

And that labia minora would form

And that a fourth surgery might not be necessary,

But, now, that might not be the case.

I'm just feeling a little defeated right now.

Okay, I am going to talk to your father.

Okay.

Jeanette: jazz has an upcoming follow-up appointment with dr. Ting.

He needs to lay his eyeballs on her body,

But if he says that jazz needs a fourth surgery right now,

I really hope they're smelling salts on the wall

Because there's a chance I might go down.

Well, well, well.

Okay.

Jazz called me because there's this opening

I thought was the vaginal canal,

But that's the urethra. -Okay.

Most people, that's a tiny little hole, right,

And there's this little bulgy thing

That covers the vaginal canal,

So I took some pictures, and we sent them to marci,

And marci is really thinking

There needs to be another surgery.

Is this something that could be done a year from now?

I mean, it's going to be a...

We have to see what dr. Ting says.

If it's going to be... Okay, that's for sure,

But if it's going to be no sooner than months,

Then it's going to have to be somewhere after freshman year

Because we're not going to interfere with her education.

My main objective is to make sure

That jazz could live as normal a life as possible,

And I want her to go off to college

And not to have to worry about additional procedures.

We need to get a better handle on exactly what's going on here.

Another thing we need to deal with, I guess.

Ugh.

When is it not something to deal with?

My mom's insurance does not cover the surgery at all.

If I'm not able to have gender affirmation surgery,

I would be completely devastated.

♪♪

Jazz: today, I am rocking a bikini.

I have not worn a bikini in so, so long,

And I'm just feeling body-confident.

I don't care about my shape, my size, my anything.

I have a [bleep], and I'm going to show the world.

What's up? Are you almost here?

Noelle: I just got... Yeah, I actually just got here.

Where are you?

I'm out back.

You could go through the gate.

Jazz: when I first met noelle,

I never imagined that we would be this close

Because, you know, our parents kind of arranged that.

They were like, "oh, let's get together.

You're both transgender.

You'll be friends, and you live close together. Yay!"

And, you know, I didn't really know

If anything was going to come out of it,

But noelle is a special, special human being.

Look, I'm wearing a bikini!

You look super good in that bikini.

Thank you!

Noelle: jazz and I usually hang out quite a lot,

But we haven't seen each other in a month,

And I really think she has tapped into something

Within herself since she's gotten the surgery.

Supermodel, should I join miss universe pageant?

And I have to point out,

Her boobs are just flopping wildly

About, just, really, no care in the world,

And I strive for that confidence.

How's life? Are you excited for your surgery?

I am. Like, I'm getting to the end

Of the very first chapter in my life.

And I'm super ready to start a new chapter,

But we just found out that my mom's insurance

Does not cover the surgery at all.

-What? -So...

What are you going to do about it?

Like, it's an expensive surgery.

Like, insurance needs to cover it.

I don't know right now.

Jazz: it's just crazy that it's ,

And we're still having these conversations

About insurance companies not covering lifesaving operations.

It's not just a cosmetic operation to alter your body.

It's so much deeper than that.

How much does the surgery cost?

Around ,.

There's a small portion of me that's doubting

If I'm even going to get the surgery this summer.

If I was told that I would never be able

To have gender affirmation surgery,

I would be completely devastated.

I'm not sure exactly how I would go on,

But I know that I would do my very best

To just fight for the happiness that I've been striving for.

I have faith that my family can get through this.

Mm-hmm, you can.

And that, like, maybe I can do something.

It's just a tough situation.

I mean, I don't know.

I don't know what to really say.

Jazz: noelle is one of my best friends, and no matter what,

I'm going to do whatever I can to make this happen for her.

So are you excited for college?

I'm ready to get out of south florida.

You know how, like, everyone says

That when you get into your senior year, you get senioritis?

Mm-hmm.

I've had senioritis since, like, seventh grade.

-Yeah, me, too. -So I'm ready to go.

I'm going to go to u.c.f.

What happened with amherst?

You didn't get in?

-No. -Ugh.

I feel really, really bad because noelle was a student

At marjory stoneman douglas during the school sh**ting,

And since then, I feel like things

Haven't really been going her way in life.

She has struggled a lot with ptsd since that event,

But she's so remarkable as a person

That I feel like she could do anything,

And I just want her to know that.

I want her to be aware that she's so smart

And capable and special.

But you're going where you're meant to be, you know?

-Yup. -You know who goes there?

Victoria goes there.

She texted me, and she's like,

"If you ever want me to show you around,"

And I'm like, "yeah, if I ever get past my social anxiety."

Well, I'm actually going to be hanging out

With victoria tomorrow.

We have a day planned where I'm going on

A double date with her,

And sander is coming on the date, too.

I don't think I've ever heard an idea better in my life

Than a double date with your ex and your brother.

Well, she's not my ex,

But it is a double date, but yeah.

If you're at u.c.f., You should get a tour from her.

Just don't steal her from me.

No, I'm kidding. I'm kidding.

We're not really like that, but,

I mean, we'll see after this date.

All right.

♪♪

-So who's the girl? -I don't know her name.

All right. Time for some makeup.

I'm going to use some blush.

I definitely feel a little bit of jitters.

It's just a little weird to be set up with your younger sister.

I hope she's someone that I click with.

All right. I'm going to go downstairs.

Jazz: even though this double date is for sander,

It still is a double date.

I don't even want to think about my vag*na.

I just want to focus on being present,

And who knows what could happen.

Something could rekindle.

I'm really hoping that sparks fly between us.

Right, left.

Jazz: sander and monna are in perfect sync and rhythm with each other.

I guess that means their chemistry is good.

-Oh, [bleep]. -Oh!

Jazz: but what does this mean for me and victoria?

Does this mean our chemistry is not good?

-I said left. -What do you mean?

Like, turn left!

♪♪

Do you know when they're coming?

Yeah, they should be here soon.

I texted victoria saying, "hey," asking her if she's hype,

And she said, "yes."

Are you nervous? Are you excited?

How are you feeling?

I don't know. It's kind of a weird feeling.

I haven't really been in a situation like this before.

This is a blind date.

I think I see them walking over there.

Look!

Want to go up and say, "hello."

-Hello! -Hello!

Hey, what's up?

-Nothing much. -Good to see you.

-This is monna. -Hi, nice to meet you!

-Monna. -Hello.

-Yes! Nice to meet you. -How are you?

-Wow! -I thought it was mona!

-Hi! -Hi, sander.

Nice to meet you. -You know what?

It's both. She's right.

Why do you go by two names? Like, monna and mona?

Well, I'm from persia, so it's spelled with two ns.

Monna.

I definitely think she's super cute.

She... Super cute.

-Hello. -Hi, guys.

-How you doing? -Good.

Sander: now I'm excited to just get on the water,

See if we have good chemistry.

♪♪

Let's go to the ocean!

Let's go with the dolphins! -Perfect.

Victoria: I feel like we're going to tip over.

Left, left, left. I said left.

Wait, was left backwards left, like...

-No, no. Not like... -Just, the left over there!

-What do you mean? -Like, turn left!

Right, left.

Sander: me and monna, we make a great team.

-This is rowing . -We were just like...

Left, right, left, right. We're past rowing , now.

Past it.

Look at them.

Jazz: wait, that's the wrong way.

Wait, no, that's the wrong way.

Wait! -Yo, what's up?

Sander: where are you guys going? What's happening?

Jazz: why'd they put you in the back?

Victoria, I don't want to bash her or anything,

But it's her fault.

-Oh, [bleep]. -Oh!

Getting a little frustrated because sander and monna

Are just whipping by us.

Sander: over here, we're k*lling it.

They're in perfect sync and rhythm

With each other, which is great!

You know, I guess that means their chemistry is good,

But what does this mean for me and victoria?

Does this mean our chemistry is not good?

We should get out.

Sander: listen, we weren't trying to race.

-It's fine. It's fine. -Ugh.

Sander and monna are very cute together.

See you!

Hey, where are you... Okay, bye, guys.

I think victoria and I are feeling good about the fix-up.

I don't even know the last time they've seen each other.

A while ago.

I know we've been so busy with school, so...

Oh, yeah, freshman-year classes, how are those?

Decent. I'm a bio major, so...

Oh, good for you. Science.

So what are you studying?

General business with a specialization in prelaw.

Okay.

-But science? -That's my thing.

I love science. -What draws you to science?

I like the way that chemistry is just...

You're able to understand it.

It's the way the world works...

I think business is the way the world works.

-...the way the world runs. -Yeah, I guess so.

Jazz: so last time I saw you was at skydiving.

Mm-hmm.

And you had a girlfriend back then.

Are you guys still together?

I'm not about to do that because I'll start crying,

But I'll text you about it later.

It's just a mess. -Oh, my god.

Jazz: it seems like victoria is really, really upset

After her breakup.

It's obvious that it's not the right time to see

If things can develop more than just a friendship.

I'm not going to lie,

I'm a little disappointed, but it just is what it is.

-It's not good? -We can talk about ahmir.

What happened to him? -We're not together anymore.

You can tell me about that. I'm okay talking about that.

Okay, well, this was my first relationship.

Yeah.

And I really got to understand that dynamic

And how hard it is to maintain a balance of energy.

Like, he was more into me than I was...

-Yeah. -...into him, kind of.

-That happens sometimes. -And, like...

How long were you guys together?

-I think it was, like... -I'm astonished.

...five. I think it was months.

Well, that's not a short time.

I mean, that's a decent amount of time...

It was a pretty long time.

...for your first relationship, especially.

What do you look for in a guy, would you say?

Number one -- humor, number one.

-Humor. -If you take me seriously...

I mean, I put a check off on the humor.

What is something that you, like, vibe with?

I vibe with someone who likes to vibe.

Thank you for throwing that back at me,

Really good way to avoid it.

See there? You're laughing, though, so that's some humor.

-Check! -Check.

Yeah, check that off the list.

Obviously, like, personality is definitely a number one for me.

Like, you got the check on the looks, but, like...

Thank you.

Also, personality-wise, like, you're supercool.

Thank you!

Monna: sitting on this table with sander

Was the highlight of my day.

He's making it very, very comfortable for both of us

Because he's able to keep the conversation going.

He's able to throw in jokes, which I like,

So I'm having a great time.

So on instagram, I saw you got accepted to harvard and pomona.

I feel like I want to go out west and go to pomona.

Mm-hmm.

But at the same time, harvard is, you know,

An opportunity that is hard to turn down.

I don't know. I say pomona.

I'm on team pomona.

Pomona is a liberal-arts college.

Jazz is trans.

Jazz needs a space that she feels more accepted,

And it's more easygoing.

I'm just going to have to listen to myself

And trust my own intuition.

The progress that you've made as a person

Is just like a complete , essentially.

I've definitely changed a lot the past year, especially,

Since getting my surgery, because, now,

My awareness has just increased,

Like, significantly. -You're woke.

I'm woke, yeah.

That's what you're trying to say but in bigger words.

I'm a woke bitch, but...

Jazz: I think this is a turning point for me and victoria.

I definitely feel like we have some sort of chemistry,

But overall, I feel like that deeper connection

Is kind of missing.

Okay, let's go check out sander and monna.

Okay.

But we'll always have that friendship

And that mutual respect for one another.

If I ever am in orlando, if you're ever back down home,

We should definitely hang out again.

I agree. I had a lot of fun today.

I'd definitely be down to do something again.

Our friends are back.

-Oh, they're coming back? -Hello!

It was fun hanging out with you.

Yes, it was so nice meeting you.

Nice meeting you.

Yeah, we'll definitely hang again.

Sander: monna is really easygoing,

And I feel like we could talk for days,

And I just want to get to know her.

Jazz did a good job with this pick.

Jazz: okay, so, did you enjoy your time with her?

For sure. We got along really well.

She's supercool. I was doing a lot of listening.

I feel like one of my main problems

Is that I do a lot of talking and not enough listening.

That's really good.

Do you think you're going to hang out again?

Yeah, probably.

How was your date with victoria?

Does that count as a date?

I think victoria is a good friend for me,

But I just don't see things taking off

For us in a relationship way.

Jazz: I feel like over the last year,

I have learned a lot about myself

And just relationships in general.

With ahmir, everything was very serious and deep

But also very passionate, and with victoria,

I feel like there's less passion between us,

But it's more fun-loving, carefree.

I think the perfect person is going to be a balance

Between the two, and with going off to college,

I'm going to have that opportunity to explore

My sexuality with everyone, really.

I just want to meet somebody who I connect with

On that deep level, and I feel like I will.