03x05 - Carpet Diem

[bunniefuu]

Cut the wheel.
There you go.

Good job. A little more.

A little more.
Right there. Right there.

[laughing] Hey! Yes.

Way to go, honey.
I love it.

- Yes.
- Come here.

I'm so proud of you.
Come here.

[smooching]
I want a kiss from you.

Come on, baby.
- Jeez, stop.

- Oh, I love you.
- Let go of me.

- You're my baby.
- Hey, get off me.

- [smooching]

- Oh, you have got
to be kidding me.

In what world
do you think it's okay

to speak to a female employee
that way?

- No, sir, you don't understand.

- And you certainly don't touch
them inappropriately like that.

- Oh, uh...

- The city is gonna hear
about this.

- Hold on a second.

- I got your back,
female firefighter.

- Can we still go get ice cream?

- Yeah, okay. Who's driving?

- Me! [whoops]

[Foreigner's "Hot Blooded"]

♪ ♪

- ♪ Well, I'm hot-blooded ♪

♪ Check it and see ♪

♪ I got a fever of 103 ♪

♪ I'm hot-blooded ♪

[light music]

- Hey.
Still studying, Luce?

- I got the test today.
- Second time's the charm, huh?

[laughter]
- Yeah.

Well, I'm still gonna be

the first female at Station 24
with a 2Q license.

And then you better watch out,
Ike,

because I'm gonna be
driving that engine.

- Whoo, scary.

Just remember,
the mirrors in there,

they're not
for checking your makeup.

- [laughs] Yeah.
And no selfies while driving.

- Y'all ever hear
about the female driver

that ran out of gas?

She thought the car
ran on emotions.

- [laughs sarcastically]

Yeah, keep laughing, Granny,
because next,

I'm gonna get
my paramedic license,

and then you'll be out of work.

All: Ooh.
- What? Can she do that?

- Lucy, I'm rooting for you.

I love a woman
who drives a truck.

Actually, it's on my list
of Penisi's top qualities.

[ding]

- What are some of
the other ones, Cap?

A woman who doesn't
"mess with my hair"?

[laughter]

- Actually, there are
several things

I find irresistible in a woman.

For example,

I like female commuters

who wear business suits
and sneakers.

I'm a sucker for girls
who like Patrick Swayze movies.

- I like that too.

- I love tall women.


- I actually worked
with an exotic dancer once

who was over 7 feet tall.

You know what her name was?

Andrea the Giant.
- Whoa.

- Her G-string
was like a parasail.

- Where is she now?

- She fell off a cliff.

- [exhales]

- The city takes
sexual harassment complaints

very seriously.

- Councilwoman,

you cannot sexually harass
your own daughter.

- We both know the TFD has
a lot of ground to make up

when it comes
to gender equality.

- Oh, really?

Did you know we're about to get

our first female engine driver?

- Cool.
Welcome to the 19th century.

This shift hasn't had
sexual bias training

in over four years,

and now you have
a female firefighter.

So I've arranged for a counselor

to run a session today.

- Today? What if we're busy?

- Make some time... sweetie.

[cries out]
- Oh!

Might wanna get that fixed!

- I can call my daughter
"sweetie."

- And you know who else
I think is hot?

Marge Simpson,

but that's really
about the blue hair

because I love blue hair.

I love a woman
who eats with her hands,

and I love a woman
who likes black coffee.

- [snoring]
- Hey, everybody.

I just met with Linda Price.

- What? Is she still here?
- She's gone.

- Whew.

- What does she check
on your list?

- Municipal authority figure.

- Oh, that's so specific.

- She has ordered us to undergo

a sexual bias training session
today.

- I told you not to kiss me.

- I can kiss you whatever
I want!

You're my daughter.

The instructor
will be here shortly.

- Okay.

- Ugh, is this gonna be
more role-playing?

- Are they gonna check
our social media?

- Guys, stop.

As the most woke person here,

I can tell you
that sexual bias training

is something
we can all learn from,

especially a chief
who hugs his female employees.

- Watch it.
Next time, I'll hug you.

- Yeah, and I'll hug you back
because I'm that woke.

- [growls]
- Why are you growling?

- [growls]

[sighing]

Oh, Jesus! Come on.

Ah, sheep sh*t!
- You okay, Chief?

- Ah, I just spilt my coffee
over the rug.

- Oh, man. Yeah, right there?

- No, actually, that's when
Eddie tried to surprise me

on my birthday
in his birthday suit... oof.

- Oh, there it is.
- Nope.

That is when Eddie
tried to show me

how bouncy
his new Super Ball was.

It's actually this one
over here.

- Oh, man.
- It's a freshy.

- Why don't you just get
a new carpet in here, Chief?

- Ah, I don't know; it's such
a headache, you know?

Those carpet guys are always
trying to rip you off.

- You do know that Andy's
side job is selling carpet

for his uncle's carpet company,
right?

- Huh.

- I'm sure he'd give you
a great deal, Chief.

- I never really think of Andy
outside of this building.

- Andy!

- Maybe I should
just flip it over.

- Andy!
- Hey!

- What's up?
- Ah.

- Chief needs a new
carpet, right?

That's you, baby.

- Eh, I don't like
to mix business with business.

- Neither do I.

Actually,
I'm a very tough customer

and a very savvy customer.

I just figured if you're gonna
give me a sweet deal, well...

- Of course I would.

The problem is,

I give my friends
too sweet of a deal,

and then my uncle gets mad.

- Well, we're not
really friends, right?

I mean, huh? Not friends?
Wink, wink.

Uh-huh. You know what I mean?
- [laughs]

No, no, we're not.
- Yeah. All right.

- Yeah. Okay, let's do it.
I'll hook you up.

- Ah, you'll hook me up.
I love that.

- Let's do it.
- It all worked out.

That's awesome.
- Yeah.

Let's stop standing around
and let's get back to work.

I'd love to talk some more,
but I don't wanna anymore.

- Hey, Luce, if you need
any help learning how

to read a map,
you can ask any one of us.

[all hollering]
- Oh, wow. Thanks.

Coming from the guy
who thought that AM radio

only played in the morning.

All: Oh!
[laughter]

- You're thinking
of someone else.

I know it means
"after midnight."

[door clicks open]

- Hi, everyone.
I'm Courtney Brixton.

I'm your sexual bias
training instructor.

♪ ♪

How is it going?

- Hi.
- Hi. How are you?

- Nice to meet you.
- Hi.

Oh, do you need
some help with that, Captain?

I got it. It's a little high.
[both chuckle]

- I hope you're still here when
I need to wipe up a spill.

- [laughs]

- Oh, God, I needed a laugh.

Oh, I hope it's okay that
I parked my truck out back.

I just could not find a spot.

I mean, just the bed is so wide.

Okay.

Ready to get started, Captain?

- Um, yeah.

[ding]
Yeah.

Let me, uh, get you set up
in the meeting room.

Right this way.
- Okay.

I'll just follow you.

- See you in there.
- Okay! See you in a bit.

- Tall, sneakers,
truck, and hair.

She hit him
with the knockout combo.

- Yeah.

I hope he can appreciate that

that's
the sexual harassment teacher.

- Oh, man.
- [laughing]

- Wait, wait, wait, he wouldn't
make a move, would he?

- On his dream girl?
[sarcastically] No.

[laughter]

We should keep an eye on him.
- No, yeah. For sure.

- Of course.
- Absolutely. Absolutely.

- I'm definitely going
to keep my...

- I'm sure you guys think
this is just gonna be

another boring
corporate presentation,

and I assure you,
it is gonna be exactly that.

But I will try to make it short.

Hmm.
I prefer shag carpet.

[laughter]

Whew. All right.

I would normally be reading

about two hours
of stuff to you guys,

but what if we just
talk some sh*t

and get out of here
as quickly as possible?

- Cool.
- Does that sound good?

- Take your time.
- Yes, ma'am.

- I know you think
you're being played,

but don't call me "ma'am."

Calling me "ma'am,"

that's like putting an elevator
in an outhouse.

It don't belong.

- Did you just quote
"Road House"?

- I did. [laughs]
Thank you for noticing.

I have this tic
where I just, like,

quote Patrick Swayze movies.

I'm crazy for Swayze, I know.

- [dreamily] No way-ze.
- Okay.

So has anyone ever heard of
a term called unconscious bias?

- Oh, I'm not sure.
Why don't you run it "bi-us"?

- [laughing]
- Woof.

- Okay. Let's dive in.
- [sighs happily]

She is perfect.

Absolutely perfect.
[exhales]

Blue hair with streaks
of purple... ooh. Tall...

- Yeah, congrats on kind of
keeping yourself under control.

- I'm not an idiot.

She's the sexual
bias instructor.

- Hey, sorry to interrupt.

It's just, is there
a lady's bathroom anywhere?

- Mm, not really,

but the closest thing's
down the hall, to the right.

- Cool. Thanks.

- Oh, hey, Courtney.
- Yes?

- We're about to have lunch.
Are you hungry?

- Oh, I couldn't.
Thank you, though.

- Hold on, hold on.
I'm cooking something special.

And I was thinking maybe
you could help us find

some more of our blind spots,
because we got some.

- Sure.

I don't have a ton of time,
but it's a deal.

You better be a good cook.

- The best.

- Okay.

- Boy, is you stuck on stupid?

We just got done
with that seminar.

- With all
your woman driver jokes,

I'm thinking maybe you need
to learn some more.

- Uh-uh, stop.
We see what you're doing.

- I'm not doing anything.

Although, it has occurred to me

that it's not harassment

if I get her to ask me out.

[laughter]
- Son of a bitch.

- You think you're gonna get

the sexual harassment
instructor to ask you out

after
the sexual harassment class?

- I'm already doing well
with stage one:

non-flirting flirting.

- Non-flirting flirting?

- It's master-level stuff.

- Yeah;
that's where I hit on her

without actually hitting on her.

It's so imperceptible.

She doesn't even realize
it's already working.

- Like carbon monoxide.
- Exactly.

I gotta go cook lunch.
- Okay.

- It ain't gonna work!

That ain't gonna work.
She's a trained professional.

- I don't know, man.

I think Cap could pull it off.

- Put your money
where your mouth is.

- Wait, you guys,
don't you think

we should be putting a stop
to these Cap moves?

- 50 bucks says Cap gets her
to ask him out.

- Deal.
- Boom.

- Have you guys learned nothing?

- What you mean?
- About what?

- All right.

Johnny,
get some measurements in here.

Carl, let's see what
the subfloor looks like, huh?

Let's move.
- Wow.

There's a different Andy, huh?

- Chief, did you look
at the book?

- The sample book?
Yeah, I got it right here.

I was thinking
about a medium pile.

- No, you don't want
a medium pile.

You want a low pile.
This is a high-traffic area.

What about color?

- I thought Raspberry Tart
looked pretty tasty.

- Too dark.

You want something
in the beige family,

like Tuscan Marvel
or the Sedona Tidewater.

- Oh, okay.
Tuscan. Marvel looks nice.

- Tuscan Marvel it is.
Good choice.

- Very similar to what I have.
- Tuscan Marvel.

Good choice.

- Okay, Tuscan Marvel.

- Johnny!
What's taking so long, man?

It's just a simple measurement.
It's 17, 3.

- Hah. 17, 3.

You just saw that?
- I can eyeball that.

- I bet you're way off.
- Johnny, bring it over.

- Oh.

Whoa, right on the money.
How'd you do that?

- It's what I do.
- Huh! Wow.

- Okay, well, I was thinking
about this brand right here.

- No, I wouldn't even wipe
my feet with that.

I'd go with this brand.

It's a dollar more per yard,
but it's well worth it.

- Okay, stop, stop, stop.

I know what
you're trying to do, Andy.

I don't need
the more expensive one.

- Ah, look at that beauty
of a family.

You and your four daughters.

- Well, that's my wife.
Of course you know that.

- Man, how old are they now?
Like, what, 20-ish?

- The younger ones
are teenagers.

- Teenagers, yeah.
- And Lucy is, you know, Lucy.

- Sure. Lucy is Lucy.
- Yeah.

- You probably only get
the best for your daughters.

- I do, yeah. Mm-hmm.

- You should get the best
for yourself.

I mean you are the chief, right?

- Yeah.

- This brand is so high quality,

you'll actually be saving money.

- Saving money?
- Yeah.

- Okay, well...
- Okay! Let's do that.

And let's get some
of this stuff out of here.

Come on, chop, chop.
Let's go.

[traditional Italian music]
- Lunch is served.

- Wow.
- Cioppino Penisi.

Il pesce piu fresco
per tutto Tacoma.

- You speak Italian?
- Eh.

Un pochino.
Mangiate, per favore.

- God, you guys get crab legs
for lunch?

I love crab legs.

Do you mind
if I eat with my hands, or...

- Yeah, of course.
- Oh, okay!

Because they're way better

when you're just
eating with your hands.

Look how soft.

Mmm! Oh, my God.

Splendido.

- Grazie, Courtney.
Mangiamo.

- Mmm!

- Yeah,
there's cracks all along here.

Do you see those?

- Look at those cracks
over there.

- So many cracks.
Cracks here, cracks there.

I mean, they're...
- Wow. Okay.

- The whole floor.
- I mean,

and then there's a bunch
of cracks over here, Chief.

- Cracks everywhere.
- Yeah.

This would usually cost you
so much more,

but I'm gonna absorb
the patchwork on my end.

Okay, Chief?

- Yeah, okay.
- Just for you.

Carl!
Let me see that.

Where did you get
this blade, huh?

The bottom of a cereal box?

Go. Get a new blade!

You're embarrassing me.
Blades are cheap!

Johnny.
Thank you so much.

Mmm!

Johnny, nice "cappuccins."

You want one of these, Chief?
- Nope. I'm good.

That's how we got here
in the first place.

[both laughing]

- Man, nice one.

So funny, Chief.
You are so funny.

So we have you done for
the super-blend poly adhesive.

I also have you down
for that stain guard coating.

- Oh, I don't need that.
- Chief, it's only $50 more.

Plus I'm absorbing
all of the patchwork

and you're not getting
padding in here.

I wouldn't skimp
on the stain guard.

- Stop with the upselling, Andy.

You think I don't get it?

I'm a savvy customer.

I'm not gonna pay
the extra costs.

- Wow! You did it.
You got me.

- Yeah.
- Boy, you are good.

- I've never seen
Salesman Andy before.

It's kinda weird.

- Well, they have a saying
in the carpet business,

"You show weakness,
you get walked on."

- [chuckling] Okay. All right.
Well, you know what?

I can see it a mile away.
So don't waste your time.

- I'm not gonna waste
any more of your time.

You just need to pick a scent
for the carpet deodorizer.

- Okay, I don't need
any carpet deodorizer.

- What about the smell
in here, Chief?

- What smell?
- Ah, no offense, Chief,

but it smells like breath
and hot dog water in here.

- Hot-dog water?
- No. Hot dog water.

Everybody's talking about it.
Trust me.

This is the way to stop
the whispering around here.

- Okay.

I think it smells fine in here.

It smells like me.

[upbeat music playing
on speaker]

- Hey Captain, do you want
some help with that?

- No, no.
I love doing dishes.

It's something I'm good at.

- You're also good
at making lunch.

- Well, feeding people
makes me happy.

- Courtney, can I get you a cup
of coffee or something?

- Yeah, just black, though.

[dish clatters loudly]

Are you okay?

- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Everything's fine.

Just listening to the tune.
Vibing out.

Man, I feel this one
in my bones.

Yeah, you can't help but move
to this one.

- Oh, there he goes.
- He's a pretty good dancer.

- Oh, yeah?
- Hey! Yeah!

- Oh!
- Come on. Who's feeling it?

All right.
Come on up here.

You don't need a reason
to get on the dance floor.

Come on, Ike, you're a dancer.
- Yeah, yeah.

I mean...
- It'd be weird if I...

- No, it looks fun.
- Oh, there we go.

- Whoa.
- Come on. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. There we go.
- I love dancing, but I can't.

We're working.
- Yeah?

Courtney, you know,
I used to be a break-dancer.

- Really?
- Yeah.

Break-dancing was my thing.

- Really?
- Check it out.

- Oh, yeah.
- Oh.

- Watch out.
Oh, it's going down there.

- Oh.
- It's coming back up.

- Whoo.
- Whoa, baby.

- Oh, hey what's that?
- Oh, that?

- Who put this piece
of cardboard here?

- Yeah, I must have left
it there by accident.

- That's so weird.

[Run DMC's "It's Tricky"
playing on speaker]

- ♪ This b*at is my recital,
I think it's very vital ♪

♪ To rock ♪
- ♪ A rhyme ♪

- ♪ That's right ♪
- ♪ On time ♪

- ♪ "It's Tricky"
is the title ♪

- ♪ Here we go!
It's tricky ♪

♪ To rock a rhyme,
to rock a rhyme ♪

♪ That's right on time,
it's tricky ♪

♪ It's tricky ♪
- Whoa!

- ♪ Tricky, tricky,

♪ It's tricky to rock a rhyme,
to rock a rhyme ♪

♪ That's right on time,
it's tricky ♪

- ♪ T-t-t-tricky ♪
- ♪ Tricky ♪

- ♪ Tricky! ♪

- ♪ I met this little girly ♪

♪ Her hair was kind of curly ♪

♪ Went to her house
and bust her out ♪

♪ I had to love real early ♪

♪ These girls
are really sleazy ♪

- Oh, oh!
- Whoa!

- ♪ Or spend some time
and rock a rhyme ♪

♪ I said,
"It's not that easy" ♪

♪ It's tricky
to rock a rhyme... ♪

- They don't call it
the break room for nothing.

- Oh, my God. Oh, my God.
[laughing]

- Holy sh*t.

- Oh, my instructor is here.

Time for my test.
Wish me, luck guys.

- Good luck, Luce.
- Good luck!

- Whoo!
- That was awesome.

- Who wants to dance?
Come on, Granny.

- Come on, guys.
- Come on.

Yeah. All right!
Yeah!

- ♪ It's tricky
to rock a rhyme ♪

♪ To rock a rhyme
that's right on time ♪

♪ It's tricky! ♪

♪ Huh! ♪

- Wow, it looks
like a new office.

- Hah! That's what I said.
Oh my, gosh.

Chief, we're on the same page.

- Tuscan Marvel, right?
- Good choice.

Well, Chief,
it has been a pleasure

so I'm just gonna go ahead
and leave that with you.

Okay. Thank you so much.
- Great.

Whoa, whoa, whoa.
What is this?

A joke?
- I'm sorry?

- You said
you were gonna hook me up.

- Oh, I did.
- This is not a "hook me up."

This is a "hook me down."
- I don't know what that means.

- You are gouging me
with these add-ons.

- Oh, come on, Chief,
you can just spread it around

the station budget, right?

- Spread what around?
- The money.

- What do think I am?
A mob boss?

- Chief,
it feels like a nice office.

This is where
a chief should hang out.

Smooth floors.
"Oh! I'm the Chief."

Think about that.
- I'm not paying for this.

- We'll see.

- [dramatically]
If you want the ultimate,

you've got to be willing
to pay the ultimate price.

- [dramatically] It's not tragic

to die doing what you love.

- f*cking "Point Break."

- "Point Break"! You get it.
- "Point Break." Swayze.

- [laughing]
It is the best movie.

- Of all time.

- [exhales]
Well, it is a workday.

I should probably head out.

But thank you guys so much.
It was good to see you.

- Are you sure
you can't stay longer?

Maybe another cup
of coffee, black? Hmm?

- No, thanks.

I'm gonna grab my stuff
and I'll just see myself out.

- [sighs]

- Oh, man.

That did not go the way
I thought it was gonna go.

- I was so subtle and so smooth.

- No, you weren't.

Dude, you made crab legs
cioppino for a Tuesday lunch.

- I've done that before.
- No, you haven't.

- Guys...

[inspiring music]

Cupid's arrow strikes...

six, maybe seven times
in a man's life.

This was my ninth.
- [scoffs]

- That means something.

The woman of my dreams
just walked out that door

and I may never see her again.

- Mm, tragic.

Tragic.

♪ ♪

- [sighs forlornly]

- I order you
to lower this bill.

- You're not my carpet boss.

- What the hell happened to you?

This is not the Andy I know.

- [sighs] You're right.

You know, this is why I don't
do business with my friends.

This is not me.

It's just a character
that I play,

and I hate it.

I love being a firefighter

because I can be Andy Myawani,

not Special K,

the assh*le
who gets everything done.

I don't want to be that guy.

In the carpet business...

[voice cracks] This is
the only way to survive.

- Don't b*at yourself up, man.

I know you gotta pay the bills.

When I was your age,
I had all kinds of side jobs.

We called them paper routes.
[chuckles]

I was a housepainter.

I sold wooden Bibles
door-to-door.

- Whoa.

- I drove the Zamboni
at the Tacoma Ice Pavilion.

- Oh, cool!

- Listen, Linda Price
hated that old carpet.

I bet we could get the city
to pick this up.

- Really?
- Yeah. Why not?

- I mean, it is a nice carpet.
- Tuscan Marvel.

- Yeah, you picked that!
- [laughs]

- It'll last you
a long time, Chief.

[chuckles]

Especially if you got
the fade resistance.

- What was that?

- If you got
the fade resistance...

You know,
to hold the color forever.

- Is that an add-on?
- No, it's not an add-on.

It's just 25 bucks.

A yard. [sighs]
Man, thank you.

- [whispering] I'm not paying
for this carpet.

♪ ♪

- Cap, if Courtney leaving
bothers you so much,

do something about it.

- I don't know about that.

Might be best
not to poke the bear.

- Did you guys make a bet?
- Yes.

- No.
- Yes, we did.

- Not cool. Not cool.

- Hey, Eddie, could you
meet me out by my truck?

I just have a quick question.
Bye, guys.

♪ ♪

- "All you gotta do is jump."

f*cking "Point Break."

both: "Point Break."

- Son of a bitch.
- Get her, Cap.

♪ ♪

- What's up?
- Hey.

I just wanted to talk
to you in private real quick.

I'm sure you know
what I'm gonna say.

- I do.
You don't have to say anything.

- Okay.
- I feel the exact same way.

I'm into you too,

and I would love
to take you out to dinner

because today,

I had...

"the time of my life."

- [chuckles] That's a good...
[exhales]

Here.
I'll just give you that.

- Uh, what's this?

- It's the information for your
sexual bias training boot camp.

- What?
- Since I got here today,

you've objectified me.

You haven't
really learned anything.

You've been trying to
pick me up pretty much all day

with your non-flirting flirting.

The cooking, the dancing,

and now you're gonna...

ask out your sexual bias
instructor?

I mean, it's a little crazy.

- I feel like I did an
excellent job

of not hitting on you.

- And for the next
four weekends,

you'll learn why that's wrong.

So I'll see you
at the boot camp.

Yeah?

[engine turns over]

- Wait. Courtney...
- Bye.

♪ ♪

- Uncle, Eddie, I did it.
I did it.

I passed the engineer test.
- Cool.

- This means I can drive
the engine now,

why are you not more excited?

- No, I am excited, Lucy.

Congrats.
- Hey, guys! I passed.

- [flatly] Yeah, never doubted
you for a second.

- [flatly] That's great.
Cap, where's Courtney?

What happened?

- She just left,
but before she did,

she read me the Riot Act
for my behavior today.

And then she ordered me

to attend her
sexual harassment boot camp.

- [laughs]

- Okay.
- Thank you.

- Why are you smiling?

Now you have to go to boot camp.

- Because this means
I got another sh*t.

[funky music]
- ♪ Eddie! ♪

- Yes, you do, Cap.
Yes, you do.

- But seriously, can we please
celebrate the fact

that I passed the driver's test?

- Yes! That's amazing!
- Yes!

- Come on.
- Oh, whoa, whoa.

Hey, what are you doing?
- What?

- Remember the seminar
and stuff?

Just one of these.
- Oh.

- Thank you.
- No, no.

- Coworker.

- That was a good job
that you did.

- Thanks, guys.

Got any of that cioppino left?
Get outta here.

- [chuckling]

- Wait a minute, you're
giving me a bad Yelp review?

- "The salesman, Andy Myawani,

"pulled the old bait and switch.

"Beware these tactics,

"and definitely beware
the phrase,

'I'll hook you up.'"

- I thought we were gonna
handle this like gentlemen.

- That was before I submitted
the bill to City Hall.

Linda Price isn't gonna pay
for it and neither am I.

I'm disappointed in you, Andy.

- I'll tell you what, Chief.
We're basically at cost now.

So the best I can do
is knock off my commission.

- Now we're talking.

- You're cool with me
forfeiting my commission?

- I wasn't born yesterday.
You're not forfeiting anything.

- Damn, you're good.

Real good.

Let me see this.
Jeez.

You're the toughest customer
I've ever had.

I'll tell you that right now.

- I think I told you that
before we started.

-
All right, Chief, there you go.

There's your new price.

You should love that number,
then.

- Yes.

Andy...

pleasure doing business
with you.

[both laugh]

- Are you sure you don't want
that stain guard coating?

You know,
with a carpet this light,

it might be a smart idea, Chief.

- Stop, stop, stop.
Okay?

Go sell some other chump
the stain guard coating.

All right? Dismissed.

- Got it.

Hey, thanks, Johnny.

Ooh, so good, Johnny.

Are you sure
you don't want a coffee?

- How much per yard for that?

[laughter]

- Well, me and the guys
have to head out.

Vicky found out we were
redoing your office

and she hired me to recarpet
your whole house.

- She what?
- Yep.

- [growls]

Damn it!

Fuuuuu!