04x21 - Take Two Yellows and Go to Bed

Episode transcripts for the TV show, "Bob Hearts Abishola". Aired: September 23, 2019 – present.*
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Despite their differences, Bob falls in love with Abishola and sets his sights on getting her to give him a chance.
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04x21 - Take Two Yellows and Go to Bed

Post by bunniefuu »

We could watch The Godfather.

I heard the first one's a classic.

You've never seen it? You're grounded

until we finish the trilogy.

Too much v*olence.

Find me something with a meet cute.

It's not about the v*olence,

it's the story of a man trying

to hold his family together

while the world tries to tear him apart.

Three hours? I'll just watch

the best parts on YouTube.

That's the worst thing

you've ever said to me.

I will be back soon.

Your mother forgot her robe.

Ah, she lives with Christina now.

A wet, naked Mom

is no longer our problem.

I will go with you.

Someone needs to console

Dottie when she hears

her son does not care about

her comfort or dignity.


- How's she gonna hear that?


- Was it not clear?

I will tell her.

I can take the robe to work tomorrow.


(IMITATING MARLON BRANDO): Come, sit.

Mangia.

When your mother was here,

she had me to take care of her.

Now she has Christina.


- Which is worse than being alone.


- Mm.

Fine, guys' night it is.

There's got to be

something I need to study.

You are coming with us.

Your grandmothers will help you study.

You can make us cocktails

while we quiz you.


(IMITATING MARLON BRANDO): Enjoy.

For a man who doesn't spend

time with his family

is not a man.

If you watched the movie, you'd get it!


("IFANLA" BY SOLA AKINGBOLA PLAYING)

Guess what you're holding right now.

I think I know the answer,

but it seems too easy.

This is our last batch of

socks made in Malaysia.

Next week, MaxDot Manufacturing

is officially open for business.


(CHEERING, CLAMORING)

Way to go, Bobby.

To the rich getting richer.

All right, let's talk about

the grand opening party.

Oh, good. A party.

If you got a problem, say it in English.

Your party is a giant waste of money.

Massive.

Don't worry about it.

You guys have earned it.

In that case, I would like to exchange

my fun for cash.

Or stock options.

You know,

it's a write
-off if we invite clients

and turn it into a networking event.


- Oh.


- You know, tax
-free schmoozing.

Well, look at Mama's little shark.

Chomp, chomp.
(LAUGHS)

It's not a work thing.

I want to take the evening

to celebrate the people

who made this possible.

The reward for a job well done

is another day of employment.

There's no need to spend

extra money on them.

Oh, I am so proud of you.

Hey, your little teacher's pet?

Washes his hair with bottled water.

This is a long
-term investment.

Look at it.

Money well spent.

I would k*ll for that hair.

You will need a DJ.

I have been known to drop a b*at or two.

Why did you give me turntable lessons

for Christmas if you did

not want me to use them?

All right, enough. I am the boss.

We are celebrating,

and you are all going to have fun.

Now

who wants to do the balloons?

I live near a Party City.

You're already DJing.

Goodwin, buy some freakin' balloons.

We're done here.

I got the gig.

You did not put the stapler

back where it belongs.

My mistake.

And the paperclips should be here.

Where are the Post
-its? This is chaos.

You having a nice day so far?

Hello, ladies.


- Hi.


- Hey.

Would either of you care for a brownie

with just one bite taken out of it?

No.

It is very good.

The man would have finished it

if his heart hadn't stopped.


(PHONE BUZZING)


(GROANS) Dottie's fitness app

says she woke up four times last night.

So sweet. You are tracking her

like an endangered bear.


- She's with her daughter, right?


- Mm
-hmm.

Maybe you should just let them be.

I need to make sure that

Dottie is well taken care of.

It is my duty as a medical professional.

And a control freak.

I am not a control freak.

I'm just trying to stop the

world from doing things wrong.

We should get you a cape.

Control is love.

That is why Chukwuemeka

enjoys being handcuffed

by Officer Kemi.

Can't wait till I retire.

Will you relax?

You have bursitis in

your right shoulder.


- So?


- That is why you keep the stapler

as close to you as possible.

But when it is here, to reach it

you must stretch that muscle.

Thereby providing yourself

with physical therapy

throughout the day.

You're welcome.

You're a crazy person.

And you do not deserve her.


(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

Say socks.

ALL: Socks.

Now let's take a silly one.

I do not do silly.

Let's pretend

Dele got a bad grade

and we are scolding him.

Can we just smile?

CHRISTINA: Got it.

Yeah, yeah, party people!

When I say Max, you say Dot.

Max.

It is early.

I will try again later.

All of this is because of you.

It was a group effort.

But mostly my husband.

You didn't even look at me

like that on our wedding day.

Back then you only had one warehouse.


(CHUCKLES)

Hey, what's up, party peeps?

I brought some extra muscle relaxers

if anybody wants to get weird.

Did Christina not bring

your orthopedic shoes?

I'm here to dance,

not walk around the mall.

That's the spirit. Have some fun.

Flare up those bunions.

Can I have everybody's attention,

please?

Yeah, yeah! Ladies and gentlemen,

please give it up for

the King of Compression,


- the Sultan of Socks


- Thanks, Kofo.


- the Jefe of Hosiery


- Okay, we get it.


(AIRHORN BLARING)


- Can I talk now?


-
(AIRHORN BLARES)

I just want to thank you all for coming.

This is a really special day

made possible by a lot

of incredible people.

You are welcome.

We started with the crazy idea

of bringing manufacturing

back to America

Have you been doing

your morning exercise?

Every day.

Really?

Do you want to change that answer?

Wow, I sit a lot.

Under one roof,

we can go from a spool of yarn,

all the way to a customer's veiny leg.


(CHEERING, WHOOPING)

I told Christina

inactivity can lead to blood clots.

Honey, it's very sweet of you

to worry about me,

but you're k*lling my vibe.

I especially want to thank

the man who helped me

hatch this crazy plan.

The only guy more sock obsessed than me.

Goodwin, where are you, pal?

Goodwin?

I believe he is in

the next room working.

Oh, what the hell?

I told him you would be upset,

but he would not listen.

Okay, I'll be right back, folks.


- Keep the tunes going.


- Goodwin,

if you can hear me, he's coming.


(AIRHORN BLARING)


(INDISTINCT CHATTER)

Ooh, I need another one.


- I feel like I'm having a hot flash.


- No.

It's those gigantic ovens.

I'm sweating through my Spanx.

Soon they will be Stanx.

Put down the hosiery

and step away from the ovens.

I told you guys to have fun tonight.

We're having a blast.

I brought the balloons.

Stop working and start dancing.

What if we dance while it cooks?

Yeah!

So fun to burn through profits.

Do me a favor, wear this bracelet

while you shake me up a martini.

GOODWIN: Mr. Wheeler,

if you insist on wasting money,

then you should hear our proposals.

Are you having a meeting without me?


- Yes.


- No.

Hold on, if we're gonna talk shop,

I need to get something in my stomach.

Try these overcooked taquitos.

Don't listen to them,

just keep drinkin'.

Oh, I want to work here.

GOODWIN: MaxDot has

many older, high
-paid employees

that we could replace with younger,

cheaper workers.

You don't mean me, right?

This isn't gray, these are highlights!

The hell with this.

Kemi, come on, let's go dance.

Oh, Bob.

You are not ready for this jelly.

WATI: Dottie.

Your son needs to listen to reason.

Enough. Bobby got us this far.

If he doesn't want to

put profit over people,

then I trust his judgment.

Wow. Thank you, Mom.

Don't mention it.

Now who wants to cut a rug


- with a 60
-year
-old?


- 60?


- I supported your thing.


- Okay.


- Christina?


- Hey.

Has your mother been taking

her medications on time?

What? Yeah, of course.

Are you cooking healthy meals?

Every morning we have hers and hers

green juices.

And she calls me a dirty hippie.

Is she going to all of

her doctor's appointments?

No, Abishola.

Because I'm trying to k*ll her.

I knew it!


- I have everything handled.


- Do you?

It must be hard to have all the answers

when everyone around you is so dumb.

It is.

I have never wanted

to throw aggression at a fellow chica,

but you better back off!

We will revisit this

conversation when you are sober.


(SCOFFS) I have had

one Cosmo, and you know what?

You're the one

who's drunk on your own arrogance!

Tunde, do something.

Our niece is losing a fight.

Okay. Dele?

Do something!

Your mother is losing a fight.


-
(AIRHORN BLARING)


- DOTTIE: All right!

All the single ladies

on the dance floor!

Come on, Mom, we're going home.

Whoa, whoa, what's going on?

Your wife thinks I'm incapable

of taking care of our mother.

I'm sure that's not what she meant.

That is exactly what I meant.

Bobby, will you listen to that?

They're fighting over me.

You're missing out.

The
-the party's just getting started.


-
(AIRHORN BLARING)


- Blow it again, I dare you.

I'm sorry I ruined your party.

I think it was ruined by the

active sock manufacturing.

Still, I embarrassed myself

fighting with your sister in public.

Maybe you're apologizing

to the wrong person.

You are right.

I should ask for your

mother's forgiveness.

I let her go home with a deranged woman.

You know, it might be time to relax

and trust Christina a little bit.

So you are on her side?

If you want to look at it

that way, then

yeah, I am.

You do not get any more cake.

Let me ask you something.

Did Mom seem healthy?

I suppose.


- Did she seem happy?


- For now.

And on the drive home,

wasn't it nice to not to have her

in the back seat going, "Slow down,

Mario Andretti!"

It was.

This is working.

All you got to do is not pick at it.

But I am so good at picking.

You're not good, sweetie.

You're the best.

Hey!

I ran a factory for 38 years.

I never gave them breaks,

let alone a party.

Did the unions have a problem with that?

Unions?


(LAUGHS)

Amazing.

A magical land without labor laws.

So much waste.
(GROANS)

What are we gonna do

with all this extra wine?

I guess we're just gonna

have to throw it away.

Oh, but then I'm part of the problem.

Just take it.

Thanks, boss.

Hopefully Mr. Wheeler got

the celebration out of his system

and we can go back to work.

He might want to throw more money away.

Maybe build a wheelchair ramp.

Idiot.

I would not call him an idiot.

Did I use the wrong word?

Idiot means Mr. Wheeler is

devoid of all intelligence.

Okay.

I said the right word.

You should show some respect.

Why?

He is running this

company into the ground.

If not for him, we would not be here.

MaxDot was struggling,

Mr. Wheeler took over,

and now we have expanded.

Big whoop.

If I was here,

he would have expanded ten years ago.

Bob Wheeler is a good man.

He believes in his employees

and treats them well.

On my birthday, he gave me

an edible arrangement.


- And you accepted it?


- Of course I did.

My workers never receive treats.

They work.

As they should.

But you ate yours up.

Like a hungry puppy.

I did.

You have gone soft.

I have.

There's cookies in the break room.

Goodwin, they've got oatmeal raisin.

Get away from me!


(KNOCKING)

Come in.

You busy?

Check it out,

I'm buying some MaxDot billboards

in Bowling Green, Kentucky.

That's Fruit of the Loom HQ.

You trying to start a turf w*r?

Damn right.

We're gonna juice those fruits.

Hey.

I meant to give this

to you at the party,


- but things took kind of a turn.


- Yeah.

I thought if anybody was gonna

make a scene, it'd be me.

You know, I thought the same thing.

Socks.

That's nice. Thank you so much.

These are the first pair off the line.

Oh, that actually is nice.

Bobby, these are special.

They should go in your office.

All right, I'll tell you the truth,

they're the second pair

off the line,

but I still want you to have them.

You and Dad taught me everything I know.

Aw, thanks, sweetie.

But I taught you more, right?

Hey, you want to grab something to eat?

You're showering me with gifts.

You're trying to feed me.

If I didn't know any better,

I'd say you love your mother.

If I didn't know any better,

I'd say you were proud of your son.

I am.

All right. Enough feelings.

Let's get drunk.

Yellow

makes Mom mellow.


(CHUCKLES) Red and blue

are vitamins to chew.


(KNOCKING)

Tan is for bone density.

Hello, Christina.

Abishola.

May I come in?

Oh, chica.

You were never out.

Dottie is your mother.

You may care for her as you see fit.

Oh, thank you.

I've prepared a guidebook to

help you manage her needs.

Which you may choose to use or not.

It is very comprehensive,

you would be silly

not to use it.

Of course I will,

you're a medical professional.


- Mm
-hmm.


- "Humans need food,

water and sleep every day."

Yeah, I'll read the rest later.


-
(DOOR OPENS)


-
(LAUGHTER)

Did you see the look

on that cabbie's face

when we ran out without paying?

BOB: It was an Uber.

He was wondering why you were running.


(LAUGHS)


(DOOR CLOSES)

Hey, honey.

Oh.

I think I got you a ride

back to the wrong house.

Are you drunk?

As two skunks.


(BOTH LAUGHING)

And you think this is funny?

You are recovering from a stroke,

Mom, you're not out on spring break.

Take it easy. We were celebrating.


- Yeah.


- CHRISTINA: And you.

You should know better.

What if she has a setback?

Oh, you want to go back to giving her

sponge baths and suppositories?

Whoa, whoa, whoa, honey,


- you are overreacting.


- Yes, she is.

And it is wonderful.

Aw.

Thank you.

You could've k*lled her, Bob. Go home!

And you,

take two yellows and you go to bed!

I'm not tired!

I didn't ask!

Come with me, drunk skunk.

You're the prettiest Uber driver.

Five stars.

Knock, knock.


- Oh!


- I brought pastrami.

Soaking through the bag.

That's the good stuff.


-
(CHUCKLES)


- Oh, ho, ho.

All right.

I'm sure Abishola

wouldn't want us having this crap.

Whatever. I've been pouring

Christina's green juices

down the drain every morning.

Well, somewhere in that sewer is

a family of very healthy rats.


(BOTH LAUGH)

Mmm.

So factory's shaping up, huh?

Sure is.

You got to get your staff hired

and ready to go before opening.

Yep.

And they've got to be trained well.


- Obviously.


- And do background checks.

It's all fun and games

until you catch somebody

putting a sock oven in their pickup.

Yeah, I've got it, Ma.

I'll open it for you.

Thank you.


(SIGHS)

Mmm.


(GRUNTING): Mmm
-mmm
-mmm
-mmm!


(SIGHS): Mmm

You gonna swallow that anytime soon?

I like to savor it.


(HACKING)

Sorry, Mommy's a little phlegmy today.


(CLEARS THROAT) Must be the dairy.

You know, we don't have to

eat together all the time.

You're absolutely right.

Maybe we can have lunch

together once a week.


- Or once a month.


- It's a deal.


- Love you.


- You, too.

Mmm.


(SIGHS HAPPILY)
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