03x20 - Tests/When You Like Someone Who Is Going Out With Someone Else

[bunniefuu]

Ned: in a middle school full of bullies..

Insane teachers...

Aah!

And gross school lunches,

Ned bigby--that's me--

And my two best friends try to do the impossible--

Create a guide that will help

You survive school.

[Bell ringing]

Man: ♪ coming up

♪ Looking out

♪ I'll survive it no doubt

♪ Never fear

♪ Bring it on

♪ Breaking down what's in my way ♪

♪ And I'm

♪ Escaped detention and a bunch of bullies tried to stop me ♪

♪ Finding my place in this world ♪

♪ And i...

Ned: "ned's declassified school survival guide."

Your results may vary.

Ok. Big tests are coming up, and they're gonna be hard,

And they're gonna decide whether or not

I get a "b" average, like I promised my mom,

Who will cry if I don't do well, and I'm worried!

Mr. Sweeney: your exam will be short answer and true-false

And will be held on thursday.

Thursday. Cool. I can handle that.

[Bell ringing]

Ooh, ned.

I have to go to an iteachers convention

On friday, so your essay exam

Will be on thursday!

Thursday?

I can still handle that.

The exam will be multiple choice

And will be held on...

Please not thursday, please not thursday, please not thursday!

Thursday!



Man: ♪ whoa, whoa, whoa

You got minutes!

The biggest tests of the year on the same day?

I hate exams.

I love exams!

Hey. What's my favorite color?

Green?

No. That's cookie's.

Mine is red!

I hate green.

I love green!

Why do you guys hang out?

You're total opposites.

Both: he keeps me centered.

Except now because I'm test stressing!

Breathe!

Ugh. I hate liverwurst.

Love it!

How am I gonna be a genius in days?

Oh! Is that the new "teenzine"?

Who's the best guy for you,

Faymen or ned?!

Ohh!

You're testing faymen against ned

With a magazine?

I'm out of ideas,

And it's % accurate.

If you say anything, I will terminate you.

Wait.

A compatibility test!

That's it!

Hey, beautiful.

Hey. What's my favorite color?

Red. Correct.

A compatibility test?!

But this is for your benefit, too.

We'll find out scientifically

If I'm your type or, say, seth.

Ohh!

How do you make the water come out?

Seth is hot, popular,

And every girl's dream date,

But I'm for settling for you.

But do we have anything in common?

We both like tests, and we're both smart,

So bring it on!

What's your favorite color?

Green. Ahhh!

Oh. That's--that's mine, too,

But we have a lot more testing to go.

I suggest you focus on science, mr. Bigby.

If you want a "b" for the semester,

You'll need a on your exam.

Science. Right.

I predict a tragedy come report card time

Unless you hit the shakespeare!

English. I'm on it!

[Tires squeal]

Ahem.

Social studies. Doing it.

Whoa!

[Tires squealing]

Ohh. Come on, buddy.

All right. Look.

Here's a towel to throw in

And a cup to catch all your tears

And a list of m*llitary schools

I attended when I flunked all my tests.

[Bugle plays]

No. I have to do this.

I have to ace all my tests.

Well, you could always have someone take the test for you,

But that's what got me kicked out of med school.

Wait. That's it.

Ned bigby hates taking tests and panics,

So I need to become the opposite ned bigby.

Den ybgib!

If you're a bad test taker like me,

The first thing you have to do

Is change your routine.

You want to be more like me?

Mostly the part where you ace tests and don't get nervous.

Well, I'm busy getting rid of evelyn,

But my people can help.

What are you gonna do, show me a map

To some secret society of test-acing geniuses?

Welcome to the genius exam enthusiast klub.

Uh, club's spelled with a "c."

Yeah, we know.

Ok, geeks, ned's got tests on thursday,

And currently. He's really dumb.

And he dresses like a dork.

And a portable game device?!

All right. Let's get to work,

And let's get the flash cards.

[Bell ringing]

"Does he hang

With dudes or duds? "

[Kids laughing]

[Ding]

[Kids chattering]

[Buzzer]

The first key to acing tests,

Put down the video games for a week

And pick up the flash cards.

Boston tea party!

The missouri compromise!

Philadelphia!

Write down facts you'll need to know

And keep them in your back pocket

So you can make any time a study time.

This test requires you to jump

Off a trampoline

And slam this ball into that hoop

Feet away.

How does this prove that we're compatible?

Well, I was crazy enough to try it,

So if you do it, that means you're equally as crazy,

And we'll have that in common

Unless you want to back out.

Give me the ball!

Aah!

Ohh!

Aah!

That was amazing,

And, uh, green is my favorite color, too.

"Rate his wardrobe."

Good morning.

[Ding]

Ned: good morning!

[Buzzer]

Let's go. It's time for your before-school study session.

Don't you guys ever take a break?

Yeah. After we ace all our tests,

We enjoy a smoothie

And gaze over our a-filled report cards.

You can't be weak

If you want to be a geek, ned bigby.

It's den ybgib,

And bring on morning study.

So you need to get flash cards.

Jennifer, all these questions--

Sounds like a boyfriend test from a teen magazine.

Heh heh. That's silly.

Now, answer the questions.

Always do what the woman wants.

Do what geeks tell you.

Steak, medium rare.

Lime sherbet.

My soul desire

Is to continue a family tradition

By bestowing a brazilian love rock necklace

On a special steady girlfriend.

Heh.

My soul desire is to ace all my tests

So my mom won't cry.

And then drink this pink smoothie.

I'm going to show you a series of ink blots,

And you tell me the first thing that comes to your mind.

Cookie.

Whoa. It is a cookie.

Let's continue.

Cookie.

Cookie!

Cookie! Cookie!

Cookie!

Why did this make you think of me?

You're all I ever think about!

Ow!

It's a cookie!

Man: ♪ who's the coolest, meanest, baddest, hippest boy in school? ♪

What's happening, man?

♪ P. Cookie, p. Cookie

♪ Holla ♪ p. Cookie

♪ Who walks, talks, dresses, and acts real cool? ♪

♪ P. Cookie

What's with the p. Cookie?

Evelyn and I do have a lot in common.

She's great at slammin',

And we both love me!

But evelyn's last test is style,

And there's no way she's dressing as cool as p. Cookie.

Well, my test can't be % accurate.

I mean, according to "teenzine,"

Ned's a total geek.

Ned: haw haw haw! Haw haw!

It's time to take my tests,

And I can't wait!

Haw haw haw! Haw haw haw!

[Bell rings]

Ok. When it comes to acing tests,

You need to strategize the different types of tests you're taking.

If it's multiple choice, focus on facts.

And don't keep changing our answer.

Usually your first choice is the right choice.

You may start.

When it comes to essays,

Focus on understanding the subjects

And less on the facts.

[Bird screeches]

And if you take just a week to be a geek like me,

You'll find the answers flowing and your test anxiety gone.

The geek clothing's optional.

[Cheering and applause]

♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

Man: ♪ who's the coolest, meanest, baddest, hippest boy in school? ♪

♪ P. Cookie, p. Cookie

♪ Holla ♪ p. Cookie

Cook.

Sorry, evelyn, but...

You look amazing,

And we're totally compatible.

Oh. You bet we are.

Evelyn can slam a basketball,

Loves the color green,

Cookies, and sweat suits like me.

Then you're going out with seth? Why?

Because he doesn't make me take

Stupid compatibility tests!

And look at him.

Later, cook.

Guh, uh, yuh-- I give up.

All right. Final score in my boyfriend test is...

Faymen , ned...

Zero.

[Buzzer]

Hi. Faymen wins!

Ooh! The new "teenzine"!

Wait. I hate this magazine.

I aced all my tests!

I'm gonna get bs in all my classes!

[Cheering]

Shh.

Welcome to the klub, den.

Oh, it's smoothie time!

Ohh! Come on.

"Rate your date"?

That's why moze was asking all those questions!

A zero?! But I was den ybgib, not ned bigby!

Ned, look. I gave jennifer

My brazilian love rock necklace.

Yep. We're officially going out.

[Huffs]

Hey. How'd you do on your tests?

I aced them!

But I think I might have failed the most important one.

Oh!

Don't worry. Geeks always get the girl.

But not until we're in our s and rich.

[Ding]

Why are we spying on moze?

Because of a boyfriend test that moze did on me that I found!

All right. I'm confused.

Do you like moze,

And does moze like you?

What's the story with you guys anyway?

Ok. I've lived next door to moze my whole life.

We grew up together.

Then in the third grade, loomer gave me a huge wedgie,

And moze kicked his butt.

She was always there for me.

Then in fourth grade, I met suzie crabgrass,

And I couldn't stop thinking about her.

Ok. Just skip to last week, huh?

Last week, I failed moze's boyfriend test,

Which means moze likes me, doesn't it?

I think I might like her.

I'm confused!

Well, the first thing

Is to get rid of your confusion.

So all you have to do is say...

Now, go!

[Creaking]

[Snoring]

Suzie is gone forever, and I like moze!

Yes!

Now there's just one tiny problem.

Faymen: hey, guys.

Moze is going out with faymen!

Right.

Man: ♪ whoa, whoa, whoa

All right! Now all you have to do

Is get moze to break it off with faymen.

Double-secret promise me

You won't tell moze I like her

Because if she doesn't like me back,

It could totally ruin our best friendship.

Fine. I double-secret promise.

Good. Now go find out if moze likes me.

Wha?

I am not cupid, you know?

I have a job.

Fine. I'll go find out.

[Boys all talking at once]

Lisa, want to get some pizza friday?

Sure, simon. That's sounds great.

Oh! In your face! In your face!

Friday it is, the th...

Of next month.

I'm kind of booked up.

Sorry.

[All talking at once]

[Whistling]

Moze, what a surprise seeing you here.

I'm at my locker.

Yeah. Do you like ned?

What? Why? Does ned like me?

Well, I don't know, but if he did,

That would be weird, or would it?

We've been friends for so long,

And going out could ruin that,

And he completely bombed my boyfriend test,

But, yeah, I think I like him!

Great.

But you can't tell him I said that.

If he finds out that I like him and he doesn't like me,

That's bad.

Triple promise on the volleyball of truth

That you won't say anything.

I triple promise.

So did you talk to moze?

Yep.

I want to go out with lisa,

But she's going out with someone else,

A bunch of someone elses.

I need tips!

If you like someone, but they like someone else,

Don't be hopeless...

Relationships in school rarely last forever,

So take the time to hang out, get closer,

And show what a good potential date

You could be in the future.

Or I could simply eliminate lisa's dates,

And she'll be all mine.

But there are a lot of fish in that sea, my friend.

Well, it looks like I'm going fishing.

Aah!

Aah!

Aah!

What's going on?

What? Can't a friend, who's just trying to be a better person

Because someday I'll be going out with someone

And I want to be a great boyfriend,

Share a beverage while faymen's not around?

I got to go.

When it comes to being a vice boyfriend,

Don't come on too strong because you'll confuse or scare them away.

[Tires squealing]

Every time I try to get away,

The keeps pulling me back in!

Faymen!

Get over here.

You've got some super-important call

From a coach.

Hello? What?!

Yes! Bye!

I made the brazilian junior national soccer team!

So you're moving back to brazil?

I don't know.

I must now decide between the two loves of my life,

Jennifer or soccer.

What should I do mr. Vice principal grubbs?

Tough call.

I know. I will let jennifer decide my fate.

Good plan.

What are you doing here?

So you don't know whether to choose between me or a ball?

Yes.

So I let you decide.

Wow!

I don't know what to say.

Don't say anything.

I don't have to tell my coach until tonight,

So just tell me at the end of the day at :,

Or just tell me now to stay.

:. : Is good.

So faymen might go back to brazil

If moze tells him to?

So you got to tell her by :

Before she tells faymen to stay,

Which she might because he's perfect

And you bombed her boyfriend test!

What should I do?

Do I look like cupid to you?

Do you see a diaper and wings, huh?

If you want this to happen,

You got to make it happen.

I'll tell her right now!

That's the spirit!

[Bee buzzing]

Ohh! Ohh!

I got stung by a bee!

Just go tell her right now.

It's now or never!

Goooo!

Yaah!

[Indistinct]

Wh-wh...

[Indistinct] oh?

To my office, bigby!

Lisa, you're all alone?

Well, martin was supposed to carry my books,

And I had a study date,

But he didn't show.

Well, I'll carry those books for you

And study with you,

And if your pizza date cancels,

Which it might have,

I'd love to take you.

Oh. That would be nice.

[Pounding on door]

I can talk!

That's because I gave you an antihistamine,

But be careful.

You might get drowsy!

Hey!

Your lip's better.

Yeah, and I have something to say.

[Snoring]

Back to my office, bigby.

[Squeaking]

[Bell ringing]

Boy, that sure was fun studying and...

Is something wrong with me?

Did--did I make them mad or something?

What, those ugly guys? No.

They're probably just stupid,

Not locked away or anything.

I guess they don't want to be friends anymore

With me.

What? No. I'm sure they just--

Really like you and would do anything

To see you smile again.

I'll be right back.

[Pounding on door]

What are you guys doing in there?

Lisa's at her locker alone!

Go, go, go!

[Yelling]

[Snoring]

Oh! What are you doing, neddy?

Wake up! It's :!

You got to wake up, and you got to tell moze now!

Suzie's gone forever, and I like moze!

Aah!

[All talking at once]

Simon, it looks like my pizza date is back on,

So I'm gonna have to reschedule.

Yeah. I figured, but if something opens up,

Let me know.

Lisa, let's go study!

Stop, stop.

Where's moze?

She was headed for the snack area!

Follow me! Let's go!

[Tires squealing]

Uh, uh, uh.

Oh!

Jennifer.

Ohh! We got to let moze know

That ned likes her, but I can't tell her.

What? I promised not to say anything,

And he can't say anything!

Wait. You promised not to say anything,

But you didn't promise not to write it down

And give it to moze!

Yeah! Ahh!

Oh!

I am waiting for your answer.

Should I stay here with you?

Uh...

Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha!

Ah! Heh heh heh!

Now how do we get it to moze in time?

I don't know! I'm not cupid!

Oh. Ah. No. Uh. Ah!

Open the window!

Um...

Gordy: this has got to be perfect.

I need your answer.

You should go play soccer.

Yes! Huzzah!

I mean, I like you very much, jennifer,

But right now, soccer's my true love.

You're gonna be ok with that?

Yeah. In fact, I'm gonna be ok right now!

Ha ha ha! Ha ha!

Oh!

Wake up! Moze told faymen to go!

What? She did?

Well, then I got to tell moze I'm here to stay.

Man: ♪ they met in kindergarten ♪

♪ They were best friends... ♪

Go get her, ned!

♪ But ned and moze liking each other ♪

♪ Is really something new

♪ A slow walk through love's door ♪

♪ There he goes

♪ Ohh, ohh, ohh

Girl: hey, ned.

Suzie crabgrass!suzie crabgrass!

Yeah! Suzie's a wolf again!

My dad got a better job in town

So I could graduate with you guys.

Isn't that great?!

Man: ♪ why'd you make it so complicated? ♪

♪ Whoa, whoa, whoa

Let me give you tips about school.

Man: take one.

Background.

Dance for the people while we're

Changing costumes.

Excellent.

Marker.

In that case, I'm going fishing.

Ahh.

Yeah. That's right.

Ya ya ya ya.

Suzie crabgrass?

Suzie crabgrass?

Yeah!

Neb dibneenee!