[THUNDER CRASHING]
I have sailed the world
Beheld its wonders
From the Dardanelles
To the mountains of Peru
But there's no place like London
No, there's no place like London
Mr. Todd?
You are young
Life has been kind to you
You will learn
There's a hole in the world
like a great black pit
And the vermin of
the world inhabit it
And its morals aren't
worth what a pig could spit
And it goes by
the name of London
At the top of the hole
sit a privileged few
Making mock of the
vermin in the lower zoo
Turning beauty
into filth and greed
I too have sailed the world
and seen its wonders
For the cruelty of men
is as wondrous as Peru
But there's no place like London
[MEN CHATTERING]
[DOG BARKING]
Is everything all right, Mr. Todd?
I beg your indulgence, Anthony.
My mind is far from easy.
In these once familiar streets
I feel shadows everywhere.
Shadows?
Ghosts.
There was a barber and his wife
And she was beautiful
A foolish barber and his wife
She was his reason and his life
And she was beautiful
And she was virtuous
And he was
Naive
There was another man who
saw that she was beautiful
A pious vulture of the law
Who, with a gesture of his claw
Removed the barber from his plate
Then there was nothing but to wait
And she would fall
So soft, so young so
lost and, oh, so beautiful
And the lady, sir, did she succumb?
Oh, that was many years ago
I doubt if anyone would know
I'd like to thank you, Anthony.
If you hadn't spotted me,
I'd be lost on the ocean still.
Will I see you again?
You might find me if you like.
Around Fleet Street,
I wouldn't wonder.
Until then, my friend.
There's a hole in the world
like a great black pit
And it's filled with people
who are filled with sh*t
And the vermin of
the world inhabit it
[RATS SQUEAKING]
[CHOPPING]
[GASPING] A customer!
Wait! What's your rush?
What's your hurry?
You gave me such a fright
I thought you was a ghost!
Half a minute, can't you sit?
Sit you down. Sit!
All I meant is that I haven't
seen a customer for weeks!
Did you come here for a pie, sir?
Do forgive me if me
head's a little vague
What was that?
But you'd think
we had the plague!
From the way that
people keep avoiding
No, you don't.
Heaven knows I try, sir!
But there's no one
comes in even to inhale
Right you are, sir would
you like a drop of ale?
Mind you, I can hardly blame them
These are probably the
worst pies in London
I know why nobody
cares to take them
I should know, I make them
But good? No!
The worst pies in London
Even that's polite
The worst pies in London
If you doubt it, take a bite
Is that just disgusting?
You have to concede it
It's nothing but crusting
Here, drink this, you'll need it
The worst pies in London
And no wonder with the
price of meat what it is
When you get it
Never thought I'd
live to see the day
Men'd think it was a treat
Finding poor animals
What are dying in the street
Mrs. Mooney has a pie shop
Does her business but I
noticed something weird
Lately all her neighbors'
cats have disappeared
Have to hand it to her
What I calls enterprise
Popping pussies into pies
Wouldn't do in my shop
Just the thought of it's
enough to make you sick
And I'm telling you
them pussycats is quick
No denying times is hard, sir!
Even harder than the
worst pies in London
Only lard and nothing more
Is that just revolting
All greasy and gritty
It looks like it's molting
And tastes like
Well, pity
A woman alone!
[CHOKING]
With limited wind
And the worst pies in London
Sir
Times is hard
Times is hard
Trust me, dearie, it's gonna
take a lot more than ale
to wash that taste out.
Come with me.
We'll get you a nice
tumbler of gin, eh?
Isn't this homey, now?
The cheery wallpaper
was a real bargain, too.
It was only partly singed
when the chapel b*rned down.
There you go.
You sit down, warm your bones.
You've a room over the shop here?
Times is so hard,
why don't you rent it out?
What, up there?
No, I won't go near it.
People think it's haunted.
Haunted?
Yeah.
And who's to say they're wrong?
You see, years ago, something
happened up there.
Something not very nice.
There was a barber and his wife
And he was beautiful
A proper artist with a Kn*fe
But they transported
him for life
And he was beautiful
Barker, his name was.
Benjamin Barker.
What was his crime?
Foolishness.
He had this wife, you see
Pretty little thing,
silly little nit
Had her chance for
the moon on a string
Poor thing
Poor thing
There was this judge, you see
Wanted her like mad
Every day he sent her a flower
But did she come
down from her tower?
Sat up there and
sobbed by the hour
Poor fool
But there was worse
yet to come poor thing
Well, Beadle calls
on her all polite
Poor thing
Poor thing
The Judge, he tells
her is all contrite
He blames himself for
her dreadful plight
She must come straight
to his house tonight
Poor thing, poor thing
Of course, when she goes there
Poor thing, poor thing
They're having this
ball all in masks
There's no one she knows there
Poor dear, poor thing
She wanders tormented and drinks
Poor thing
The Judge has repented,
she thinks
Poor thing
"Oh, where is Judge Turpin?"
she asks
He was there all right
Only not so contrite
She wasn't no match
for such craft you see
And everyone thought it so droll
They figured she had
to be daft you see
So all of them stood
there and laughed you see
[SCREAMING]
Poor soul
[LAUGHING]
Poor thing...
[LAUGHING]
[SCREAMING] No!
Would no one have mercy on her?
So, it is you,
Benjamin Barker?
Where is Lucy?
Where is my wife?
She poisoned herself.
Arsenic, from the apothecary
around the corner.
Tried to stop her, but she
wouldn't listen to me.
And he's got your daughter.
He?
Judge Turpin?
Adopted her. Like his own.
Fifteen years.
I've sweated in a living
hell on a false charge.
Fifteen years dreaming I might
come home to a wife and child.
Well, I can't say
the years have been
particularly kind
to you, Mr. Barker.
No. Not Barker.
That man is dead.
It's Todd now. Sweeney Todd.
And he will have his revenge.
Come in.
Nothing to be afraid of, love.
When they came for the girl,
I hid them.
Could've sold them, but I didn't.
Those handles is chased
silver, ain't they?
Silver. Yes.
These are my friends
See how they glisten
See this one shine
How he smiles in the light
My friend
My faithful friend
Speak to me, friend
Whisper, I'll listen
I know, I know
You've been locked out
of sight all these years
Like me, my friend
Well, I've come home
To find you waiting
Home
And we're together
And we'll do wonders
Won't we?
You there, my friend
I'm your friend, too, Mr. Todd
Come, let me hold you
If you only knew, Mr. Todd
Now, with a sigh
Oh, Mr. Todd
You're warm in my hand
You grow warm in my hand
My friend
You've come home
My clever friend
Always had a fondness
for you, I did
Rest now, my friends
Never you fear, Mr. Todd
Soon I'll unfold you
You can move in here, Mr. Todd
Soon you'll know
BOTH: Splendors you never
have dreamed all your days
Will be yours
My lucky friends
I'm your friend
and now you're mine
Till now your shine...
Don't they shine beautiful?
...was merely silver
Silver's good enough for me
Friends, you shall drip rubies
Mr. T
You'll soon drip precious
Rubies
Leave me.
At last, my arm is complete again.
[BIRD CHIRPING]
Green finch and linnet bird
Nightingale, blackbird
How is it you sing?
How can you jubilate
Sitting in cages
Never taking wing?
Outside the sky waits
Beckoning, beckoning
Just beyond the bars
How can you remain
Staring at the rain
Maddened by the stars?
How is it you sing anything?
How is it you sing?
My cage has many rooms
Damask and dark
Nothing there sings
Not even my lark
Larks never will, you know
When they're c*ptive
Teach me to be more adaptive
Oh
Green finch and linnet bird
Nightingale, blackbird
Teach me how to sing
If I cannot fly
Let me sing
BEGGAR WOMAN: Alms!
Alms for a miserable woman
On a miserable chilly morning
Thank you, sir!
Ma'am?
Could you tell me
whose house this is?
That's the great Judge
Turpin's house, that is.
And the young lady
who resides there?
Oh, that's Johanna,
his pretty little ward.
Keeps her snug, he does.
All locked up.
So don't you go trespassing there,
or it's a good whipping for you,
or any other young man
with mischief on his mind.
Alms!
Alms for a desperate woman
I feel you
Johanna
I feel you
I was half convinced I'd waken
Satisfied enough to dream you
Happily I was mistaken, Johanna
I'll steal you
Johanna!
I'll steal you
Come in, lad. Come in.
You were looking for
Hyde Park, you say?
Yes.
It's very large on the map,
but I keep getting lost.
Sit down, lad, sit down.
It's embarrassing for a
sailor to lose his bearings,
but there you are.
A sailor?
Yes, sir. TheBountiful,
out of Plymouth.
A sailor must know the
ways of the world, yes?
Must be practiced in
the ways of the world.
Would you say you
were practiced, boy?
Sir?
Oh, yes.
Such practices.
The geishas of Japan.
The concubines of Siam.
The catamites of Greece.
The harlots of India.
I have them all here.
Drawings of them.
Everything you've ever dreamed
of doing with a woman.
Would you like to see?
I think there's been some mistake.
I think not.
You gandered at my ward, Johanna.
You gandered at her.
Yes, sir, you gandered.
I meant no harm.
Your meaning is immaterial.
Mark me.
If I see your face
again on this street,
you'll rue the day you were born.
Hyde Park is that way, young sir!
A left and a right and
straight on, you see?
Move on, now!
[COUGHING]
You heard what Judge
Turpin said, little man.
Next time, it'll be your pretty
little brains all over the pavement.
[COUGHING]
[DOOR SLAMS]
I'll steal you
Johanna
I'll steal you
Do they think that
walls can hide you?
Even now, I'm at your window
I am in the dark beside you
Buried sweetly
in your yellow hair
I feel you
Johanna
And one day
I'll steal you
Till I'm with you then
I'm with you there!
Sweetly buried in
your yellow hair!
He's here every Thursday.
Italian. All the rage he is.
Best barber in London, they say.
Hang on.
[DRUM b*ating]
Ladies and gentlemen
May I have your
attention, please?
Do you wake every morning
in shame and despair
To discover your pillow
is covered with hair
What ought not to be there?
Well, ladies and gentlemen
From now on you can waken at ease
You need never again
have a worry or care
I will show you a
miracle marvelous rare
Gentlemen, you are about to see
something what rose from the dead!
On the top of my head!
[ALL LAUGHING]
'Twas Pirelli's Miracle Elixir
That's what did the trick, sir
True, sir, true
Was it quick, sir?
Did it in a tick, sir?
Just like an elixir ought to do
How about a bottle, mister?
Only costs a penny, guaranteed
Does Pirelli's stimulate
the growth, sir?
You can have my oath, sir
'Tis unique
Rub a minute
Stimulating, isn't it?
Soon you'll have to thin it
Once a week!
Pardon me, ma'am
what's that awful stench?
Are we standing in an open trench?
Must be standing near an open trench!
Pardon me, sir what's that awful stench?
Buy Pirelli's Miracle Elixir
Anything what's slick, sir
Soon sprouts curls
Try Pirelli's
When they see how thick, sir
You can have your pick, sir
Of the girls
Want to buy a bottle, missus?
What is this?
What is this?
Smells like piss
Smells like... Ew!
Looks like piss!
Wouldn't touch it if I was you, dear!
This is piss, piss with ink
Let Pirelli's activate your roots, sir!
Keep it off your boots, sir
Eats right through
Yes, get Pirelli's,
use a bottle of it
Ladies seem to love it
Flies do, too
[CROWD LAUGHING]
[IN ITALIAN ACCENT]
I am Adolfo Pirelli
The king of the barbers
The barber of kings
E buon giorno, good day!
I blow you a kiss!
And I the so famous
Pirelli I wish-a to know-a
Who has-a the nerve-a to say
My elixir is piss
Who says this?
I do.
[CROWD MURMURING]
I am Mr. Sweeney Todd
of Fleet Street.
I have opened a bottle
of Pirelli's Elixir.
And I say to you that it is
nothing but an arrant fraud,
concocted from piss and ink.
Furthermore,Signor,
I have serviced no kings,
yet I wager that I can shave a cheek
with 10 times more dexterity,
than any street mountebank.
Do you see these razors?
I lay them against 5 pounds.
You are no match, sir.
Either accept my challenge,
or reveal yourself as a sham.
You hear this foolish man?
Now, please, you will see how
he will-a regret-a his-a folly.
Toby!
Who's for a free shave?
[CROWD CLAMORING]
Will Beadle Bamford be the judge?
Glad, as always, to oblige
my friends and neighbors.
Ready?
Ready!
Ready.
The fastest, smoothest
shave is the winner!
[BLOWS WHISTLE]
[EXCLAIMING]
Now, signorini, signori
We mix-a the lather
But first-a
You gather around,
signorini, signori
You looking a man who have had-a
the glory to shave-a the Pope!
Mr. Sweeney, whoever
I beg-a you pardon
You'll probably say
it was only a cardinal
Nope!
It was-a the Pope!
To shave-a the face
To cut-a the hair
Require the grace
Require the flair
For if-a you slip
You nick the skin
You clip-a the chin
You rip-a the lip a bit
Beyond-a repair
To shave-a the face
Or even a part
Without it-a smart
Require the heart
Not just-a the flash
It take-a panache
It take-a the passion for the art
To shave-a the face
To trim-a the beard
To make-a the bristle
Clean like a whistle
This is from early infancy
The talent give to me
By God
It take-a the skill
It take-a the brains
It take-a da will
To take-a the pains
It take-a the pace
It take-a the grace
The winner is Todd!
[CROWD APPLAUDS]
Sir, I bow to a skill far
greater than my own.
The 5 pounds.
May the good Lord smile on you.
Until we meet again.
Come, boy. Come!
Ow!
[YELLING]
[YELLING]
Suppose it's just me gentle heart,
but I do hate to see a
boy treated like that.
Congratulations, Mr. Todd.
May I ask you, sir, do you
have your own establishment?
He certainly does.
Sweeney Todd's Tonsorial Parlor,
above my Meat Pie
Emporium in Fleet Street.
I thank you, sir.
You are a paragon of integrity.
Well, I try to do my best
for my friends and neighbors.
Your establishment is in
Fleet Street, you say?
Yes, sir.
Then, Mr. Todd,
you shall surely see me there
before the week is out.
You will be welcome,
Beadle Bamford.
And I can guarantee to give
you, without a penny's charge,
the closest shave
you will ever know.
Come on, love.
[BIRD CHIRPING]
MRS. LOVETT: It's not much of
a chair, but it'll do.
It was me poor Albert's chair.
Sit in it all day long he did,
after his leg gave
out with the gout.
Why doesn't the Beadle come?
"Before the week is out,"
that's what he said.
Well, who says the week's out?
It's only Tuesday.
Easy now
Hush, love, hush
Don't distress yourself
What's your rush?
Keep your thoughts
Nice and lush
Wait
Hush, love, hush
Think it through
Once it bubbles
Then what's to do?
Watch it close
Let it brew
Wait
I've been thinking flowers
Maybe daisies
To brighten up the room
Don't you think some flowers
Pretty daisies
Might relieve the gloom?
Wait
Love, wait
And the Judge?
When'll we get to him?
MRS. LOVETT:
Can't you think of nothing else?
Always brooding away on your wrongs
and what happened heaven
knows how many years ago.
Come on.
Slow, love, slow
Time's so fast
Now goes quickly
See, now it's past
Soon will come
Soon will last
Wait
Don't you know
Silly man
Half the fun is to plan the plan?
All good things
come to those who can
Wait
Gillyflowers, maybe
'Stead of daisies
I don't know, though
What do you think?
[FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING]
Oh, I'm sorry, excuse me.
Mrs. Lovett, sir.
A pleasure, ma'am.
Mr. Todd, there's a girl
who needs my help.
Such a sad girl and lonely,
but beautiful, too and...
Slow down, son.
Yes. I'm sorry.
This girl has a guardian
who keeps her locked away,
but then, this morning,
she dropped this.
Surely a sign that Johanna
wants me to help her.
That's her name, Johanna.
And Turpin is her guardian.
He's a judge of some sort.
Once he goes to court, I'm
going to slip into the house,
release her and beg her to
come away with me tonight.
Oh, this is very romantic.
Yes.
But I don't know anyone
in London, you see.
And I need somewhere safe to bring her
till I've hired a coach to take us away.
If I could keep her here
just for an hour or two,
I'd be forever in your debt.
Bring her here, love.
Thank you, ma'am.
Mr. Todd?
Oh, thank you.
Thank you, thank you, my friend.
Thank you, ma'am.
[DOOR CLOSES]
Seems like the Fates are
favoring you at last, Mr. T.
What is it? You'll have her
back before the day is out.
What about him?
Him?
Oh, well. Let him bring her here.
And then, since you're
so hot for a little,
that's the throat to slit, my dear.
Poor little Johanna.
All those years without a
scrap of motherly affection.
Well, I'll soon see to that.
Hello. What's he doing here?
Keep the boy downstairs.
Signora, is Mr. Todd at home?
Plying his trade upstairs.
Oh...
Would you look at it now?
You wouldn't mind if I gave it a
nice juicy meat pie, would you?
Si, si, si.
Whatever you want.
Come on, lad.
Your teeth are strong, I hope.
Close the door.
Get you a nice lovely pie.
Sit down. Make yourself comfy.
Come in.
Mr. Todd.
Signor Pirelli.
[IN ENGLISH ACCENT]
Call me Davey.
Davey Collin's the name
when it's not professional.
I'd like me five quid back,
if you don't mind.
Why?
Because you entered
into our little wager
under false pretenses, my friend.
So that you might remember to be a
bit more forthright in the future,
I'll be taking half your
profits from herewith.
Share and share alike.
Mr. Benjamin Barker.
Here we are. Tuck in.
I like to see a man with
a healthy appetite.
Reminds me of my dear Albert.
Liked to gorge himself
to bloatation, he did.
He didn't have your nice
head of hair, though.
To tell the truth,
it gets awful hot.
Yes, this'll do nicely.
You don't remember me, do you?
Why should you?
I was just a little nip that you
hired for a couple of weeks,
sweeping up hair.
But I remember these.
And how could I ever
forget you, Mr. Barker.
I used to sit right here.
Dream of the day when I could
be a proper barber myself.
You might say that you
was inspiration to me.
So, is we got a deal?
Or should I run down the street
to me old pal, Beadle Bamford?
What do you say to that, now,
[IN ITALIAN ACCENT]
Mr. Sweeney Todd?
[PIRELLI LAUGHING]
My, my, my. Always work to be done.
Spic and span, that's my motto.
[SIGHS]
So, how'd you end up with
that dreadful Italian?
Got me from the workhouse.
Been there since I was born.
Oh, God!
He's got an appointment with his tailor!
If he's late, he'll blame me!
Wait!
Signor! You got an appointment!
Signor Pirelli's been called away.
Better run after him.
No, sir. I should stay here,
or it'll be a lashing.
He's a great one for the lashings.
So,
Mrs. Lovett gave
you a pie, did she?
She's a real lady.
That she is.
But if I know a growing boy,
there's still room
for more pie, eh?
Yes, sir.
Then why don't you wait for
your master downstairs?
Be another pie in it
for you, I'm sure.
No, I should stay here.
Tell you what, why don't
you tell Mrs. Lovett
that I said to give you
a nice big tot of gin.
Thank you, sir!
TURPIN:
This is the second time, sir,
you have been brought
before this bench.
Though it is my earnest wish ever
to temper justice with mercy,
your persistent dedication
to a life of crime
is an abomination
before God and man.
I therefore sentence you to hang
by the neck until you're dead.
And may the Lord have
mercy on your soul.
Court is adjourned.
[CRYING]
Thank you, Your Honor.
Just the sentence we wanted.
Was he guilty?
Well, if he didn't do it,
he's surely done something
to warrant a hanging.
What man has not?
Sorry?
No matter. Come.
Walk home with me.
I have news for you, my friend.
In order to shield her from
the evils of this world,
I have decided to marry
my dear Johanna.
Oh! Sir, happy news indeed.
Strange though,
when I offered myself to her,
she showed a certain reluctance.
Excuse me, my lord
May I request, my lord
Permission, my lord, to speak?
Forgive me if I suggest, my lord
You're looking less
than your best, my lord
There's powder upon
your vest, my lord
And stubble upon your cheek
And ladies, my lord, are weak
Stubble, you say?
Perhaps I am a little
overhasty in the mornings.
Fret not though, my lord
I know a place, my lord
A barber, my lord, of skill
Thus armed with a
shaven face, my lord
Some eau de cologne
to grace, my lord
And musk to enhance
the chase, my lord
You'll dazzle the girl until
Until?
She bows to your every will
Barber?
Take me to him.
His name is Todd, my lord,
and he is the very last
word in barbering.
You ought to slow down a bit, lad.
It'll go straight to your head.
They used to give it to us in the
workhouse so as we could sleep.
Not that you'd want to sleep
in that place, ma'am.
Not with the things what
happen in the dark.
That's nice, dear.
Think I'll just pop in
on Mr. Todd for a tick.
You all right, there?
Leave the bottle.
That lad is drinking me
out of house and home.
How long till Pirelli gets back?
He won't be back.
Mr. T, you didn't.
[GASPS]
You're barking mad.
k*lling a man what
done you no harm.
He recognized me from the old days.
Tried to blackmail me.
Half me earnings.
Oh, well,
it's a different matter then.
For a moment there, I thought
you'd lost your marbles.
All that blood.
Poor bugger.
Oh, well.
Well, waste not, want not.
So, what are we gonna
do about the boy then?
Send him up.
Oh, we don't need to worry about him.
He's a simple thing.
Send him up!
Now, Mr. T, surely one's
enough for today.
Besides, I was thinking of hiring
the lad to help me run the shop.
Your poor knees aren't
what they used to be.
All right.
Course, we're gonna have
to stock up on the gin.
Boy drinks like a sailor.
The Judge.
Get out.
Get out!
[DOOR CHIMES TINKLING]
Mr. Todd?
At your service.
An honor to receive
your patronage, my lord.
You know me, sir?
Who in this wide world does not
know the great Judge Turpin?
These premises are
hardly prepossessing,
and yet the Beadle tells me
you're the most accomplished of
all the barbers in the city.
That is gracious of him, sir.
What may I do for you today, sir?
A stylish trimming of the hair?
Soothing skin massage?
Sit, sir. Sit.
You see, sir,
a man infatuate with love
Her ardent and eager sl*ve
So fetch the pomade
and pumice stone
And lend me a more seductive tone
A sprinkling perhaps
of French cologne
But first, sir, I think
A shave
The closest I ever gave
[WHISTLING]
You're in a merry
mood today, Mr. Todd.
'Tis your delight,
sir, catching fire
From one man to the next
'Tis true, sir,
love can still inspire
The blood to pound
the heart leap higher
What more
What more
Can man require than love, sir
Can man require
More than love, sir
What, sir?
Women
Yes, women
Pretty women
[HUMMING]
[WHISTLING]
Now then, my friend
Now to your purpose
Patience, enjoy it
Revenge can't be taken in haste
Make haste, and if we wed
You'll be commended, sir
My lord
And who, may it be said
Is your intended, sir?
My ward
A pretty little rosebud.
Pretty as her mother?
What? What was that?
Nothing, sir. Nothing.
May we proceed?
Pretty women
Fascinating
Sipping coffee
Dancing
Pretty women!
Are a wonder
Pretty women
Sitting in the window or
Standing on the stair
Something in them
Cheers the air
Pretty women
Silhouetted
Stay within you
Glancing!
Stay forever
Breathing lightly
Pretty women
BOTH: Pretty women
Blowing out their candles or
Blowing out their candles or
Combing out their hair
Combing out their hair
Then they leave
Even when they leave...
Even when they leave you and vanish...
...they still...
...they somehow can still remain...
...are there, they're there
...there with you
BOTH: Pretty women
At their mirrors
In their gardens
Letter-writing
Flower-picking
Weather-watching
BOTH: How they make a man sing
Proof of heaven
As you're living
Pretty women, sir!
Pretty women, yes!
Pretty women, sir
Pretty women, pretty women
Mr. Todd! I've seen Johanna
and she said she'd
leave with me tonight.
You.
There is indeed a higher power
to warn me thus in time.
Johanna elope with you?
I'll make sure that neither you
nor any other man shall
ever set eyes on her again.
As for you, barber,
it's all too clear
what company you keep.
Service them well and
hold their custom,
for you'll have none of mine.
Mr. Todd. You have to help me.
Out.
Mr. Todd, please.
Out.
Mr. Todd!
Out!
All this shouting and running about.
What's happened?
I had him.
The sailor busted in, I know. And then I
saw them both running down the stairs.
I had him!
His throat was
bare beneath my hand
There, there, dear. Calm down.
No, I had him!
His throat was there
And he'll never come again!
Easy now
Hush, love, hush
I'll keep telling you
When?
What's your rush?
Why did I wait?
You told me to wait!
Now he'll never come again!
There's a hole in the world
like a great black pit
And it's filled with people
who are filled with sh*t
And the vermin of
the world inhabit it
But not for long!
They all deserve to die
Tell you why, Mrs. Lovett
Tell you why
Because in all of the whole
human race, Mrs. Lovett
There are two kinds
of men and only two
There's the one staying put
In his proper place
And the one with his foot
In the other one's face
Look at me, Mrs. Lovett,
look at you!
No, we all deserve to die
Even you, Mrs. Lovett
Even I
Because the lives of the
wicked should be made brief
For the rest of us,
death will be a relief
We all deserve to die
And I'll never see Johanna
No, I'll never hug my girl to me
Finished!
All right!
You, sir. How about a shave?
Come and visit your
good friend Sweeney.
You, sir, too, sir.
Welcome to the grave!
I will have vengeance
I will have salvation
Who, sir?
You, sir? No one's in the chair.
Come on, come on.
Sweeney's waiting!
I want you bleeders.
You, sir! Anybody!
Gentlemen, now don't be shy!
Not one man, no, nor ten men
Nor a hundred can assuage me
I will have you
And I will get him back
Even as he gloats
In the meantime I'll practice
on less honorable throats
And my Lucy lies in ashes
And I'll never see my girl again
But the work waits!
I'm alive at last!
And I'm full of joy!
That's all very well, but what
are we gonna do about him?
Hello?
Do you hear me?
Come on.
You great useless thing.
Sit down.
[SIGHS]
There. Drink it down.
Now, we got a body
moldering away upstairs.
Now, what do you intend we
should do about that, then?
Later on when it's dark,
we'll take it to some
secret place and bury it.
Oh, yeah. Course we could do that.
Don't suppose he's
got any relatives
that's gonna come poking
around looking for him.
Seems a downright shame
Shame?
Seems an awful waste
Such a nice plump frame
What's his name has
Had, has
Nor it can't be traced
Business needs a lift
Debts to be erased
Think of it as thrift, as a gift
If you get my drift.
Seems an awful waste
I mean, with the price
of meat what it is
When you get it, if you get it
Ah!
Good, you got it
Take, for instance
Mrs. Mooney and her pie shop
Business never better using
only pussycats and toast
Now a p*ssy's good for maybe
six or seven at the most
And I'm sure they can't
compare as far as taste
Mrs. Lovett,
what a charming notion
Eminently practical
And yet appropriate as always
Well, it does seem a waste
Mrs. Lovett, how I've lived without you
All these years I'll never know!
Think about it. Lots of other
gentlemen'll soon be coming for a shave
How delectable! Also undetectable
Won't they? Think of all them...
How choice! How rare!
pies!
For what's the sound
of the world out there?
What, Mr. Todd
What, Mr. Todd
What is that sound?
Those crunching noises
pervading the air?
Yes, Mr. Todd
Yes, Mr. Todd, yes, all around
It's man devouring man, my dear
And who are we
to deny it in here?
These are desperate times,
Mrs. Lovett.
And desperate measures
are called for.
Here we are, hot out of the oven.
What is that?
It's priest
Have a little priest
Is it really good?
Sir, it's too good, at least
Then again they don't
commit sins of the flesh
So it's pretty fresh
Awful lot of fat
Only where it sat
Haven't you got poet
or something like that?
No, you see the
trouble with poet is
How do you know it's deceased?
Try the priest
Lawyer's rather nice.
If it's for a price
Order something else,
though, to follow
Since no one should
swallow it twice
Anything that's lean?
Well, then,
if you're British and loyal
You might enjoy Royal Marine
Anyway, it's clean
Though, of course it
tastes of wherever it's been
Is that squire on the fire?
Mercy no, sir, look closer
You'll notice it's grocer
Looks thicker
More like vicar
No, it has to be grocer
It's green
The history of the world, my love
Save a lot of graves
Do a lot of relatives favors
Is those below
serving those up above
Everybody shaves
So there should be
plenty of flavors
How gratifying for once to know
BOTH: That those above
will serve those down below!
What is that?
It's fop
Finest in the shop
Or we have some shepherd's pie
Peppered with actual
shepherd on top
And I've just begun
Here's the politician, so oily
It's served with
a doily, have one
Put it on a bun
Well, you never know
if it's going to run
Try the friar, fried, it's drier
No, the clergy is really
Too coarse and too mealy
Then actor
It's compacter
But always arrives overdone
I'll come again when you
have judge on the menu.
Have charity towards
the world, my pet
Yes, yes, I know, my love
We'll take the customers
that we can get
High-born and low, my love
We'll not discriminate
great from small
No, we'll serve anyone
We'll serve anyone
Meaning anyone
BOTH: And to anyone at all!
So, it's true.
Sir, a gentleman knocks before
entering a lady's room.
Indeed he does, but I see no lady.
I told myself the sailor was lying,
that my Johanna would never
betray me, never hurt me so.
Sir, I will leave this place.
I think that only appropriate
since you no longer find
my company to your liking.
We shall provide you
with new lodgings.
Until this moment
I have spared the rod.
But the ungrateful child
has broken my heart.
When you've learned to
appreciate what you have,
perhaps we shall meet again.
Until then
think on your sins.
No!
[JOHANNA SCREAMS]
No, please!
[HORSE NEIGHING]
Johanna! Where are you taking her?
Tell me or I swear I'll...
You'd k*ll me, boy? Here I stand!
Johanna!
I feel you
Johanna
I feel you
Do they think that
walls can hide you?
Even now I'm at your window
I am in the dark beside you
Buried sweetly
in your yellow hair
Johanna
And are you beautiful and pale
With yellow hair, like her?
I'd want you beautiful and pale
The way I've dreamed you were
Johanna
And if you're beautiful what
then with yellow hair, like wheat
I think we shall not meet again
My little dove, my sweet Johanna
I'll steal you, Johanna!
Goodbye, Johanna!
You're gone, and yet you're mine
I'm fine, Johanna
I'm fine!
Johanna
Smoke! Smoke!
Sign of the devil
Sign of the devil
City on fire!
Witch! Witch! Smell it, sir
An evil smell
Every night at the vespers bell
Smoke that comes
from the mouth of hell
City on fire!
City on fire
Mischief! Mischief! Mischief!
And if I never hear your voice
My turtledove, my dear
I still have reason to rejoice
The way ahead is clear
Johanna
I feel
And in that darkness
when I'm blind
With what I can't forget
Johanna
It's always morning in my mind
My little lamb, my pet, Johanna
You stay, Johanna...
ANTHONY: Johanna
...the way I've dreamed you are
Oh, look, Johanna! A star!
Buried sweetly in
your yellow hair
A sh**ting star!
There, there, somebody, somebody
Look up there
Didn't I tell you?
Smell that air
City on fire!
Quick, sir, run and tell
Warn them all of the witch's spell
There it is, there it is, the unholy smell
Tell it to the Beadle and police as well
Tell them! Tell them
Help, fiend! City on fire!
City on fire
Mischief. Mischief.
And though I'll
think of you, I guess
Until the day I die
I think I miss you less and less
As every day goes by
Johanna
Johanna
And you'd be beautiful and pale
And look too much like her
If only angels could prevail
We'd be the way we were
Johanna
I feel you, Johanna
Wake up, Johanna
Another bright red day
We learn, Johanna, to say
Goodbye
I'll steal
You
[PEOPLE CHATTERING]
Ladies and gentlemen
May I have your
attention, please?
Are your nostrils a-quiver
and tingling as well
At that delicate
luscious ambrosial smell?
Yes, they are, I can tell
Well, ladies and gentlemen
That aroma enriching the breeze
Is like nothing compared
to its succulent source
As the gourmets among you
will tell you, of course
Ladies and gentlemen
You can't imagine
the rapture in store
Just inside of this door!
There you'll sample
Mrs. Lovett's meat pies
Savory and sweet pies
As you'll see
You who eat pies
Mrs. Lovett's meat pies
Conjure up the treat
pies used to be!
Toby!
Coming!
Ale there!
Right, ma'am!
Quick, now!
Nice to see you, dearie
How have you been keeping?
Cor, me bones is weary
Toby! One for the gentleman
Hear the birdies cheeping
Helps to keep it cheery
Toby! Throw the old woman out!
What's my secret?
Frankly, dear, forgive my candor
Family secret
All to do with herbs
Things like being careful
with your coriander
That's what makes
the gravy grander!
ALL:
Eat them slow and feel the crust
How thin she rolled it
Eat them slow 'cause
every one's a prize!
Eat them slow 'cause that's
the lot and now we've sold it!
Come again tomorrow!
Hold it!
Bless my eyes!
Fresh supplies!
How about it, dearie?
TOBY: Is that a pie...
Be here in a twinkling!
...fit for a king
Just confirms me theory, Toby!
A wondrous sweet and
most delectable thing?
God watches over us
Didn't have an inkling, positively eerie
You see, ma'am why there's no meat pie
Toby! Throw the old woman out!
Still got to keep an eye on
the household expenditure.
Mmm.
Which isn't to say we couldn't
get some nice taxidermy animals,
bring a touch of
gentility to the place.
You know, a boar's head or two?
Mr. T? You listening to me?
Of course.
Then what did I just say?
There must be a way to the Judge.
Judge. Always harping
on the bloody old judge.
We got a nice respectable
business now.
Money coming in regular-like.
And since we're careful
to pick and choose,
strangers, people who won't be
missed, who's gonna catch on?
Mr. Todd, I'm so happy
I could eat you up,
I really could
You know what I'd
like to do, Mr. Todd?
What I dream?
If the business stays as good
Where I'd really like to go
In a year or so?
Don't you want to know?
Of course.
Do you really want to know?
Yes, I do.
By the sea, Mr. Todd
That's the life I'll covet
By the sea, Mr. Todd
Oh, I know you'd love it
You and me, Mr. T,
we could be alone
In a house what we'd almost own
Down by the sea
Anything you say
Wouldn't that be smashing?
Think how snug it'll be
Underneath our flannel
When it's just you and me
And the English Channel
In our cozy retreat
Kept all neat and tidy
We'll have chums
over every Friday
By the sea
Don't you love the
weather by the sea?
We'll grow old together
By the seaside
By the beautiful sea
It'll be so quiet that who'll
come by it except a seagull?
We shouldn't try it though,
till it's legal for two!
But a seaside wedding
could be devised
Me rumpled bedding legitimized
Me eyelids'll flutter,
I'll turn into butter
The moment I mutter "I do!"
Will you take this woman to
be your lawfully wedded wife?
[WEDDING MARCH PLAYING]
You may kiss your bride.
Down by the sea
Married nice and proper
By the sea
Bring along your chopper
To the seaside
By the beautiful sea
[SEAGULL CAWING]
I brought you some breakfast, dear.
Mr. T? Can I ask you a question?
What?
What did your Lucy look like?
Can't really remember, can you?
She had yellow hair.
You gotta leave this
all behind, you know.
She's gone.
Life is for the alive, my dear.
We could have a life, us two.
Maybe not like I dreamed.
Maybe not like you remember.
But we could get by.
Mr. Todd! Mrs. Lovett, ma'am?
What is it, Anthony?
He has her locked in a madhouse.
Johanna.
Fogg's Asylum. I've circled
the place a dozen times.
There's no way in. It's a fortress.
I've got him.
Mr. Todd?
We've got her.
Where do you suppose all the wigmakers
in London go to obtain their hair?
Bedlam.
They get it from the
lunatics at Bedlam.
I don't understand.
We shall set you up as a
wigmaker's apprentice.
That'll gain you access.
And then you take her.
Go, quickly, go!
Fetch the boy.
Don't you think you should
leave the boy behind?
Toby. Mr. Todd needs you.
Yes, ma'am.
Mr. T?
Do you know where
the Old Bailey is?
Yes, sir.
Not that I ever been there.
Take this there.
Seek out a Judge Turpin.
Repeat that.
Go to Old Bailey.
Find Judge Turpin.
You put that into his hands.
Only to him, you understand?
Yes, sir.
And while I'm out, do you mind if
I stop by the grocer just to pick...
No. You're not to stop,
you're not to speak.
You're to deliver the letter.
Do you understand?
Yes, sir.
Where you been, lad?
We had quite the
rush at dinner time.
Me poor bones is ready to drop.
Mr. Todd sent me on an errand.
And on the way back,
I went by the workhouse,
just to take a look.
And I was thinking, but for
you, I'd be there now.
Or someplace worse.
Seems like the good
Lord sent you for me.
Oh, love,
I feel quite the same way.
Listen to me, please.
You know there's nothing
I wouldn't do for you.
Say, if there were someone around,
someone bad?
Only you didn't know it.
What is this?
What are you talking about?
Nothing's gonna harm you
Not while I'm around
Nothing's gonna harm you
No, sir, not while I'm around
What do you mean "someone bad"?
Demons are prowling
everywhere nowadays
I'll send them howling,
I don't care
I got ways
Hush, darling,
there's no need for this.
No one's gonna hurt you
No one's gonna dare
Others can desert you
Not to worry,
whistle, I'll be there
Demons will charm you
With a smile
For a while, but in time
Nothing can harm you
Not while I'm around
That's nice, dear.
Now, what is all this foolishness?
What are you talking about?
Little things that I've been
thinking about Mr. Todd.
Not to worry, not to worry
I may not be smart,
but I ain't dumb
I can do it, put me to it
Show me something I can overcome
Not to worry, ma'am
Being close and being clever
Ain't like being true
I don't need to, I won't never
Hide a thing from you
Like some
Now, Toby, dear, haven't we had
enough of this foolish chatter?
Here.
How about I give you
a nice shiny new penny
and you go get us some toffees?
That's Signor Pirelli's purse!
No, it's not. Just something
Mr. T gave me for my birthday.
That proves it! We gotta go, ma'am.
We gotta find the Beadle
and get the law here!
Toby. Hush, lad,
you're not going anywhere.
You just sit here, nice
and quiet, next to me.
That's right, right.
How could you think such
a thing of Mr. Todd?
He's been so good to us.
Nothing's gonna harm you
Not while I'm around
Nothing's gonna harm you, darling
Not while I'm around
Demons'll charm you with a smile
For a while
But in time
Nothing's gonna harm you
Not while I'm around
Funny we should be having
this little chat right now.
'Cause I was just thinking...
You know how you've always
fancied coming into
the bake house with me
to help make the pies?
Yes, ma'am.
Well, no time like the present, eh?
I feel bad for you, going up
and down all these stairs.
Well, that'll be your job now.
Yes, ma'am.
Quite a stink, ain't there?
You see those grates?
They go right down to the
sewers, and the smells come up.
Always a few rats gone
home to Jesus down there.
Now, this'll be the bake oven.
Three dozen at a time.
Always be sure the door is
closed properly, like this.
Door's closed properly.
This is a grinder.
Pop in the meat.
Give it a good grind.
Pops out there.
You try.
Good grind.
Comes out there.
That's my boy.
I'm just gonna pop upstairs,
back in two shakes, all right?
You mind if I have
a pie while I wait?
As many as you like, son.
Yes, sir, I agree.
It would be to our mutual interest
to come to some arrangement in
regard to my poor children's hair.
Brunettes.
Redheads.
I keep the blondes in here.
It was yellow hair you
was looking for, sir?
Yes.
[ALL WHIMPERING]
Hey!
That one there has
the shade I need.
Come, child.
Smile for the gentleman and
you shall have a sweetie.
Now, where shall I cut?
Not another word, Mr. Fogg,
or it will be your last.
Now, I leave you to the
mercy of your children.
[ALL SHRIEKING]
[FOGG SCREAMING]
I got him locked in.
But if he escapes,
he'll go to the law.
Then he won't escape.
I don't know, Mr. Todd.
The Judge'll be here soon.
[GASPS]
'Scuse me, sir. Gave me a fright.
Not my intention, good madam.
I assure you.
Though I am here on
official business.
You see, there's
been some complaints
about the stink from your chimney.
They say at night it is
something most foul.
Health regulations and the
general public welfare
naturally being my duty,
I'm afraid I'm gonna
have to take a look
[SNORTING]
[SNEEZES]
at your bakehouse.
Of course, sir.
But first, why don't
you come upstairs?
Let me pamper you.
Much as I do appreciate
tonsorial doormen
I really ought to see to my
official obligations first.
I completely understand.
If you'll indulge me, sir,
what is that exotic aroma?
[CHUCKLES]
Me secret, is a touch of ambergris.
Dare I offer you something
a tad more appropriate
for a gentleman of your standing?
The ladies will greatly
appreciate it, sir.
You're the expert in these matters.
Only take a moment.
Would you like a bit
of bay rum, sir?
Bay rum is very bracing.
[GASPS]
Let me out! Please, let me out!
Let me out!
MRS. LOVETT: Toby?
Where is he?
Toby, where are you, love?
Toby?
Nothing's gonna harm you
Not while I'm around
Toby?
Where are you hiding?
Toby?
Nothing's gonna harm you, darling
Not while I'm around
[RAT SQUEAKING]
Toby?
Mr. Todd!
You wait for him here.
I'll return with a coach
in less than half an hour.
Don't worry.
No one'll recognize you.
You're safe now.
Safe?
So, we run away and then
all our dreams come true?
I hope so.
I've never had dreams.
Only nightmares.
Johanna,
when we're free of this place
all the ghosts will go away.
No, Anthony. They never go away.
I'll be right back to you.
Half an hour and we'll be free.
BEGGAR WOMAN: Beadle! Beadle!
No good hiding, I saw you
Are you in there still, Beadle?
Beadle?
Beadle, dear Beadle?
Beadle deedle deedle
deedle deedle dumpling
Beadle dumpling...
Dee dee dee dee dee dee
Who are you?
What are you doing here?
[SHUDDERING]
Evil is here, sir.
The stink of evil,
from below, from her!
Oh, she's the Devil's wife.
Beware her, sir.
She with no pity in her heart.
Don't I know you, mister?
TURPIN: Mr. Todd?
Where is she?
Below, Your Honor.
With my neighbor.
Thank heavens the sailor
did not molest her.
Thank heavens, too, she has
seen the error of her ways.
She has?
Oh, yes.
Your lesson was well-learned.
She speaks only of you.
Longing for forgiveness.
Then she shall have it.
She'll be here soon, you say?
Yes.
Excellent, my friend.
How about a shave?
Sit, sir. Sit.
Oh, pretty women
Pretty women, yes
Johanna, Johanna
Pretty women
Pretty women are a wonder
Pretty women!
What we do for pretty women!
Blowing out their candles
Blowing out their candles
Or combing out their hair
Or combing out their hair
Then they leave
Even when they leave
Even when they
leave you and vanish
They still are there
They somehow can still remain
There with you, there
They're there
How seldom it is one
meets a fellow spirit.
With fellow tastes
in women, at least.
What's that?
The years, no doubt,
have changed me, sir.
But then, I suppose
the face of a barber,
the face of a prisoner, a dog,
is not particularly memorable.
Benjamin Barker.
Benjamin Barker!
Rest now, my friend
Rest now forever
Sleep now the untroubled
Sleep of the angels
Come for a shave, have you, lad?
No, I...
Everyone needs a good shave.
[MRS. LOVETT SCREAMING]
Forget my face.
Die! God in heaven, die!
You.
[FOOTSTEPS APPROACHING]
Why did you scream?
He was clutching onto me
dress, but he's finished now.
I'll take care of it.
Open the door.
Open the door, I said.
"Don't I know you?" she said.
You knew she lived.
I was only thinking of you.
You lied to me.
No, no, not lied at all
No, I never lied
Lucy...
Said she took a poison
She did, never said that she d*ed
I've come home again
Poor thing, she lived
But it left her weak in the head
All she did for months
was just lie there in bed
Should've been in hospital
Wound up in Bedlam instead
Poor thing!
Better you should think she was dead
Oh, my God!
Yes, I lied 'cause I love you!
I'd be twice the wife she was!
Lucy...
I love you!
What have I done?
Could that thing have
cared for you like me?
Mrs. Lovett,
you're a bloody wonder
Eminently practical
And yet appropriate as always
As you've said repeatedly
There's little point
in dwelling on the past
Now, come here, my love...
Do you mean it?
Everything I did,
I swear, I thought
Was only for the best
Not a thing to fear
My love, what's dead Is dead
Can we still be married?
The history of the world, my pet
Oh, Mr. Todd, oh, Mr. Todd
Leave it to me
Is learn forgiveness
and try to forget
By the sea, Mr. Todd
We'll be comfy-cozy
By the sea, Mr. Todd
Where there's no one nosy
And life is for
the alive, my dear
So let's keep living it
BOTH: Just keep living it,
really living it!
[SCREAMING]
There was a barber and his wife
And she was beautiful
A foolish barber and his wife
She was his reason and his life
And she was beautiful
And she was virtuous
And he was...