01x07 - Not Out of the Game Yet

[bunniefuu]

Oh, hey. Heyyyy, roomie.

You know, it's, uh it's so crazy

that we've been living

together for a few months

and I don't even know

what city you were born in.

That's not crazy. I

was born in Cleveland.

Cool. So as a kid in Cleveland,

did you have any pets?

Yeah. I had a hamster named Hamster.

Adorable. Last question.

What's your mother's maiden name?

- No.

- What?

You're trying to steal my Hulu password.

No, I'm not trying to

That's identity theft, Nell.

Come on! Everybody does it.

It's not a big deal.

It's like stealing a

fun glass from a bar

or sneaking a roasted

chicken into a movie theater.

As a lawyer, I'm gonna

recommend that you quit talking

before you confess to any more crimes.

Speaking of crimes,

I've noticed you use a lot of

toilet paper in the bathroom.

Now, I wasn't gonna say

anything because, frankly,

I I don't know where to begin.

But I think it would be

best if you could please

just keep the bathroom stocked.

Okay, listen, I'll amortize

my share from the

What is What are

What are you doing?

Um, I'm packing my lunch.

That's not lunch.

That's oyster crackers

and a jar of peanut butter.

I don't get paid until Friday.

And I'm three payments

behind on my student loans.

So I'm gonna have to make do.

Thank God I picked these tomatillos

from the community garden.

We don't have a community garden.

You just picked that

from somebody's yard.

Oh, call the produce police. Bye!

It's a slippery slope

from tomatoes to banks.

Oh.

"Dear Nell," blah, blah, blah.

"Your next obituary

assignment is" Oh!

Wow, that was a close call.

Oh, my God. I know that voice.

This is the voice of

the Fresno Grizzlies,

- Car

- Carlos Garza!

Carlos Garza! Oh, my God!

My dad I used to listen

to you call baseball games

all the time! I can't

believe you're dead!

- That is amazing!

- Hurtful.

Oh, no, no. I didn't mean it like that.

I just meant that, like, you know

I've always wanted to meet you.

So, you know, say

something, just anything.

- Keep your eyes on the road.

- Oh, yeah.

Don't worry. That's it, though.

That's exactly what you sound like.

Oh!

Two car crashes in one day.

Tough day for Carlos Garza.

Yeah, I canceled my AAA,

so this tow truck's

gonna cost me about, uh,

- 300 bucks that I don't have.

- Hm.

Speaking of AAA, this

reminds me of a pitcher

- from the Toledo Mud Hens.

- Mm.

This guy was older than Moses,

committed three errors on one play.

Yet, the old southpaw

managed to turn things around

and get the win.

Man, you always have the

perfect baseball story

for every situation.

We'd always have you on at the kitchen

in my family's restaurant.

Or Or, in the summer,

we'd bring the radio

with us to the stadium

just to, like, listen to

you when we watched the game.

You really brought me and

my dad closer together.

Yeah.

Oh.

- Nope.

- Hmm.

I can see you're still very close.

No, we are. Now is just not a good time.

Hm.

Ladies and gentlemen,

this one is going, going, gone.

I am just so grateful

that you didn't get hurt.

I mean, this is why I always tell you

to keep your eyes on the road.

FYI, the light is green.

Huh? Oh.

- Mm. Thank you.

- Mm-hmm.

So, you doing okay?

Yeah. I got coffee in my bra.

Oh, and I might have to start

driving Uber on the weekends.

But, uh, now I don't have a car, so

maybe they'll let me carry

people from place to place.

Oh.

Oh, of course my dad

keeps calling me today,

on all days.

Well, maybe you could just

ask him for some money.

Oh, no, no, no. I don't think so.

Mnh-mnh.

Yeah, if I pick up, he's

gonna want to catch up.

And then I'm gonna ruin the illusion

that his little superstar

is actually broke,

living with a roommate,

and stealing vegetables

like Peter Rabbit.

This is all temporary, okay?

And from where I'm sitting,

you are doing all right,

even with that coffee on your bra.

I hope we get away to the Bahamas.

Alright, if you can figure it out.

I'm gonna look for a

Attention, everybody.

I have an air horn.

And also an announcement to make.

My father wants all employees

to undergo performance reviews.

I know he can be intimidating.

But good news

He's not going to be present

in person.

He is going to be present on a speaker.

But we're going to make it fun! Mason?

Every employee's name has been written

on one of these ping-pong balls

by my personal calligraphist, Chaz.

Now, when I pull your ball,

you're going to meet me

in the conference room

for a little chitchat.

Fun, right?

Heyyyy. What's going on?

My father wants me to make budget cuts.

- I think I might have to lay someone off.

- Oh, my God.

Yeah. It's bad.

It's really, really bad.

Love the big jewelry, Tina.

10 out of 10!

Everyone's gonna hate me.

And I don't know how to

pull myself out of it.

Okay, well, all you have to

do is just take a deep breath

and be honest with everyone

and tell them the truth.

I can't do that, and neither can you.

Okay? Just smile.

Party!

The paper's cutting costs, people.

It's only a matter of time

until they cut jobs, too.

Good thing I'm the only one

here who doesn't get paid.

You're also the only one here

that's still on a learner's permit.

What?

Screw this place. I'm

taking whatever I want.

Whoa.

- You okay?

- Yeah.

Just, I don't like performance reviews.

- Oh.

- Not really good with criticism.

Plus, when I get

nervous, I tend to ramble.

Well, not so much ramble

as prattle or blabber.

Pratter, even. Is

that a word, "pratter"?

- Mnh-mnh.

- I think I'm rambling.

- Am I rambling?

- 100%.

- Oh.

- Dennis.

Ohhh!

Okay. No, this is good, this is good.

I'm going first. Rip it

off just like a Band-Aid.

Why do people say that?

That hurts so much.

Oh, God, I'm rambling again.

I know my father can be intimidating,

even from 5,000 miles away,

but don't let it rattle you.

Just pretend he's not even in the room,

listening and judging every

single thing you're saying.

Mr. Rhodes has joined the call.

Uh, hello. Mr. Rhodes, it's

such a pleasure

to finally meet you

over the speaker box.

Don't be alarmed.

He didn't speak to me

from the ages of 8 to 11

because I had braces.

Okay, Dennis, let's get into it.

How would you summarize your

performance over the past year?

Uh, yes.

Um, I I can definitely do that.

Um, our our clicks

are up. Ad sales up.

A And we uncovered a sex cult

at the Alhambra Public Library.

The end. Well, kudos to you.

Keep up the good work.

- Is that it?

- Yes.

I mean, unless you wanted

to say something else?

No. No.

Thank you. Thank you, Lexi.

And And And thank you, Mr. Rhodes.

I appreciate the opportunity.

Um, and I love you.

I, uh

I gotta go job.

Mm-hmm.

- Ah.

- Toilet paper?

I haven't seen a steal this brazen

since fleet-footed Dave

Roberts stole second base

against the Yankees in the ALCS.

Can you cool it with

the color commentary?

My life sucks, and I might lose my job.

I thought you liked my storytelling.

I did When I was a kid

and it was about the players and not me.

I really don't need a

play-by-play of my failures.

Mm-hmm. I'll stop.

For what it's worth, things

could always be worse.

I don't even know how that's possible.

- Dad?!

- Now, that is a beautiful curveball.

- There's my superstar.

- Dad.

Ah. Ah.

Your mom wants to give you this. Mwah!

- And this.

- Hey!

She says that's for not

visiting since you got back.

- I visited.

- Once. And that was months ago.

But work's been keeping

me busy, you know?

But don't worry. Everything is good.

- I'm over this dump.

- Oh, wait.

So what brings you, uh, down here, Dad?

- Everything okay?

- Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

I had to meet with one of our

suppliers to the restaurant.

- Oh.

- I called you a couple of times

to see if you were free for lunch,

but when I didn't hear from you,

I just thought, "You know

what? I'm just gonna show up."

And oh, my God Carlos Garza.

- Oh.

- Talk about one of the greats.

I like this guy. Class act.

I met him, you know, a few years ago.

- He came to the restaurant.

- Yeah?

He said my pasteles were

The best he'd ever tasted.

I'm sure they were delicious,

but I say that to

everyone to get free food.

You know what, Dad? It's

like he's still here.

I'm I'm writing his obituary.

Th They usually put me

on more important things.

They just wanted to

make sure that, you know,

- they got the job done right.

- Wow, mírate.

That's my superstar.

Hey, since I'm here,

which one of these offices is yours?

I want to see where the magic happens.

- You do?

- Yeah.

Uh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

Uh, I'll show you, Dad.

Come on. It's just, uh, right over here.

Yeah, right this way, Dad.

Um I'll, uh

Ahh!

I always knew you were

gonna be a big success

when you were a little girl.

- Oh.

- Banging out those stories

on your toy typewriter.

Yeah, well, now I have a computer,

but, unfortunately, no bubbles

come out when I press the keys.

Hey! Oh, hey!

Mr. Serrano. I didn't

know you were in town.

Did Nell know you were in town?

If she picked up her

phone, she would have.

Sam, I can't believe you're a mom now.

- Yeah.

- Show me some pictures.

Sure.

Nell, do you know where

my picture frames are?

I think they're in your cubicle.

Not sure why they'd be in my office.

You're right. You're right.

How silly of me. I just

love those pictures.

I just carry them around all the time

and leave them in

other people's offices.

Quick quesht.

Has anyone ever told

their boss "I love you"

totally unprompted?

Asking for a myself. I just did that.

Dennis, you remember my dad, right?

You guys met a few years ago?

- Yes! Mr. Serrano!

- Hi.

Good to see you.

Why are you sitting there?

It's my chair.

And this is my desk

and my pencils pen.

My pens.

And, you know, because this

is my three hard-boiled eggs

for lunch. Ugh!

I really respect your

relationship to protein.

Mm-hmm. Yes.

Dad, why don't we go outside

and get some air, yeah?

Yeah.

The newspaper business is solid.

- Life is great.

- Oh, I never worry about you.

- Your brother, on the other hand.

- Oh, no.

Did he accidentally start

another pyramid scheme?

No, but I still have a

garage full of shampoo,

if you're interested

in losing your hair.

- No, thanks.

- Basically, I was thinking

I might take a step

back at the restaurant

and let him take over.

- Really?

- Yeah.

I mean, I don't know

what else to do with him.

- Mm.

- Maybe he'll get his life together, for once.

Well, I mean, come on.

It's not all his fault, right?

Sometimes things are

out of your control,

and people get knocked off their path,

and they just need a a

minute to get back on it.

- No. I think he might just be an idiot.

- Mm.

Not like my successful daughter

with her corner office

and her fancy job.

Well, that's me, who is not an idiot.

Almost too successful.

I decided to go with

the smaller apartment,

you know, for historical significance.

Rumor has it David Lee

Roth once lived here.

Ah!

I don't know who that

is, but I'm impressed.

Oh, well, let me go change real quick,

- and then we'll grab a bite, hmm?

- Okay.

Isn't this great?

Sam!

Oh.

This is going to be easy.

Just easy-squeezy, okay?

Oh, I am so relieved

to hear you say that.

I was actually kind of nervous about it.

I don't know why. I think it's 'cause

Keith is just trying

to develop this app,

- and I'm like

- Um, I don't need

to hear about your

personal life, Ms. Holkar.

Dad.

Oh. Okay.

Thanks, Lexi.

Bup-bup-bup!

Please just stick to

your performance review.

Alright.

Uh, well, I think that

my performance overall

has been very positive,

especially in light of the fact

that we have, uh, lost

two reporters this year.

But Lifestyle will continue

to grow and improve.

- Um

- Well, it's not good enough,

but I suppose it's going to have to do.

- You can go now.

- Thank you.

Ah, so I'm Edward.

What are you doing here?

I just met your dad. He's great.

You didn't tell me you had a roommate.

I was just telling him how relieved I am

that you were not hurt

during your car accident,

even though it sucks

that you don't have

the money to pay for it

and then you had to go to

work after to write obituaries

at your dumpy, little cubicle.

I did mention the vegetable stealing,

but that's only because I thought maybe

he would want to speak

with you about it.

Dad, I know this sounds bad.

Alright, I'm going to excuse myself.

Thank you.

- So you're broke

- Eh

that wasn't your office,

and you got in a car accident?

It wasn't that bad.

I really just have to replace,

like, the front half of the car.

- You've been lying about your life.

- Uh

Is this why you've barely come to visit

since you've been back?

I just didn't want you guys to worry.

And things have been

tougher than expected,

but it's gonna be okay.

You know, I'm working really

hard to get myself out of it.

Nell, it doesn't have to be so hard.

You can come home and

run the restaurant.

- No.

- I always wanted it to be you, anyway.

But you had these big

dreams you were chasing,

and I I didn't want

to get in the way.

- But if it's not working out

- Dad

Listen to me.

You could have some stability,

afford your own place to live,

and you could be near your family.

Dad, I'm sorry for lying,

but it's I'm going to be fine.

Penelope, can you honestly tell me

this is the life that you want?

And as the slugger

steps up to the plate,

she faces the question,

does she like her job?

Does she like her living situation?

Does she like some dead

guy asking these questions?

How you feeling, champ?

Uh, I I just can't stop

thinking about what my dad said.

You know, like, I

I can't find a reason

not to agree with him.

If I move back home and

I work for the restaurant,

my life would be easier.

Dads are like umpires.

You hate them when they get it wrong.

But 99 times out of

100, they get it right.

You know what's funny?

I have this memory of a game.

Me and my dad are in the cheap seats,

'cause they're the

rowdiest and the most fun.

You know, I got my cr*cker

Jacks and my hot dog,

and my dad's got his

beer and you on the radio.

- Oh.

- It's the bottom of the 7th.

Lorenzo Gomez steps up to the plate,

and he really connects, right?

And I I see the ball leave his bat,

and I watch it fly through the air,

and I just know it's

headed right towards me.

So I I close my eyes,

I open my glove,

and it lands smack in the middle of it.

And it was just the best moment

because I was in the exact right place

at the exact right time.

Mm-hmm.

From then on, I always

felt that way, you know?

Right place, right time

Till now.

- Oh, I don't know about that.

- Huh.

You took me right back

to the cheap seats in '94.

I call 'em like I see 'em.

And you're a storyteller.

No matter what you decide to do,

I'm glad you're the

one who's telling mine.

- Yeah?

- Mm-hmm.

That's cool.

Okay. 773N.

Nope.

That makes more sense. Nell.

Nell, Nell, Nell.

Where should we begin?

I'll start.

I was gonna come in here

and tell you to fire me.

That would be amazing. Go on.

But I can't do that.

Just because I'm living

off of oyster crackers

doesn't mean that I need to go

and run a Puerto Rican

restaurant in Fresno.

That's oddly specific. Proceed.

I'm going to stay here at the paper,

and I'm gonna keep doing what

I love telling stories.

Now, I I don't know if

you know this, Mr. Rhodes,

but that's what everybody

here is trying to do.

And it And it really sucks

that you're making us jump through hoops

with these stupid performance reviews.

We don't need more pressure

than the pressure we put on ourselves.

- Mr. Rhodes?

- Papá?

Uh, yeah.

Mr. Rhodes hasn't been on

the call for quite some time.

He instructed me to

cough every now and then

so you wouldn't know.

But please don't tell him.

I I don't want to be fired.

I really need this job.

Well

- Whew!

- This is embarrassing.

I'm sorry your little

screed fell on deaf ears.

- Eh.

- For what it's worth,

I found both you ladies to be very

Oh, goodness.

I can't believe my dad is

trying to get me to make layoffs

and couldn't even be bothered

to be on the calls himself.

It's just so typical.

I don't want to fire people.

I hate being the bad guy.

Really? 'Cause you're really good at it.

And the crazy part is,

I've been trying so hard

to prove to him that I'm

doing a good job, and for what?

To be the boss with perfect teeth

who's despised by her employees?

Ah, I get that.

I don't want to

disappoint my dad, either.

Maybe, sometimes, we

gotta wave off the signs

and swing for the fences,

even if it's a 3-0 count.

Mm. Is that some kind of

code or something?

I'm just saying, you gotta

do what's right for you.

We both do.

- Thank you.

- Yeah.

You can do now, 773N.

That was incredible.

I'm glad you're gonna stay in the game.

Well, you inspired me.

Oh, kid, it was my pleasure.

- Just remember to keep swinging.

- Mm-hmm.

You'll find your way back to

the big leagues soon enough.

Everyone, I have an announcement.

I'm sure some of you have heard a rumor

that the performance reviews

were leading to layoffs.

Let me be the first to tell

you that this rumor is correct.

You're coming with me, Key-bo.

What I meant to say was,

this rumor was absolutely correct.

My father did want layoffs.

But I have found a way to

avoid making that happen.

Everyone is keeping their jobs.

How did you manage to

save everyone's jobs?

I had my father fired.

He probably won't discover

it for several weeks,

and when he does, boy,

will he be furious.

But please don't tell anyone,

and smile for everyone, Sam.

Thank you.

"When I was a little

girl, I thought Carlos Garza

was calling baseball games just for me.

He got you to hold your

breath with every at-bat

and to fall in love

with each player's story.

You felt the sting of every setback

and the heartbreak of every loss."

"And if the season

ended short of victory,

as it did so many times,

Carlos Garza reminded you

that hope springs eternal

and better days are always just ahead."

Wow.

But would it have k*lled you to say

where he got his favorite pasteles?

You know, I was thinking

about what you had asked

if this is the life that I want to live.

And, honestly, I don't know.

But I know that my game is not over yet.

Even if I share a small apartment

and my job surrounds

me with dead people,

I weirdly think that

this is good for me.

And I know you're disappointed in me.

I'm not disappointed, Nell.

I'm proud of you, just like

I've always been proud of you.

And of course you gotta go for it.

I did, and I got my dream to come true.

What's that?

Serving pasteles to Carlos Garza?

No, mija. I got to be your dad.

Mm! Mwah!

Dennis.

Hello?

Dennis, I'd like to

have a word with you.

Um, yes, Mr. Rhodes?

While what you said to me

earlier was extremely awkward,

I just want you to know I love you, too.

Mr. Rhodes.

I I don't know what to say.

Say nothing to no one.

I will carry this secret to my grave.

Oh, for

You were supposed to tell him the truth.

Come on! This is so much more fun.

- Lexi!

- I'm calling Nell.

No, you are not!

- Come on!

- No!