03x09 - Breaking Bite

[bunniefuu]

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Chef: (Frantic) Oh no-no-no-no, no-no-no!

You're on your own today, kids.

Chef just learned he should've been filing these receipts

for his taxes every year. Who knew?

- How did you ever get your teacher's license?

- License?

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Thanks for trying to lighten the mood, Leshawna.

NO ROUGHHOUSING!

- Well, there's no roughhousing at a fancy tea party,

isn't that right Mr. Chatterbox?

- (Teeth chomp)

- Unless the tea party gets cancelled

by the Hair Force Commando and his gas accessory.

(Farts)

(Fart noises) Oh no!

He's farting all over your tea party!

(Fart noises) Oh the humanity!

(Laughing)

- Knock it off, Duncan!

You're wrecking the tea party! Stop it!

(Fart noises) - Ahhhh!

(Fighting grunts)

- YEEEEEEEOW! She... she bit me!

(All gasp)

- What!? - Look!

(Throbbing thumps)

- No one should ever bite anything but food!

- Hold on, I saw the whole thing and--

- Good! Come tell Chef with me.

- Wait! - Whoa. Easy.

I won't tell. I won't!

I-I'm sorry for farting all over your tea party.

Here, I'll clean up the mess I made. See?

I'm helping.

- Um... what just happened?

- I guess Duncan's scared of you

'cause he thinks you're a biter.

- But I didn't bite him.

- I know. I saw it was Mr. ChatterTeeth.

(Teeth chomp) - Hmm?

(Worried groan)

(Nervous laughs)

- Don't worry. I'll go explain

and clear this whole thing up.

- Orrrrr... we could not do that?

I mean, having Duncan clean up after me is kinda cool.

- He does seem to be on his best behaviour.

And he hasn't wedgied me in the last five minutes.

Maybe keeping this secret would be a good thing for everyone.

- Exxxxactly.

It'll be just between us.

- Did you guys see Duncan's arm?

It was straight up m*nled!

- He probably has rabies now.

- SHHH! Here she comes.

- Hey everybody! Any room for me?

Huh?

Ohhhh-kay?

(Crunching sound)

Oh sorry! Did you guys want any?

- No thank you.

- Can we offer these nice desserts

as a token of our friendship?

- In Daycare, first you get the chompers,

then you get the power,

then you get... the pudding.

- I don't know, Beth.

Taking Duncan down a peg is one thing,

but giving up desserts? They're really scared of you.

Maybe we should come clean.

- Hmmm. That's certainly one idea.

Another idea is stuffing this in your cupcake hole

And saying nothing to nobody. Ever.

- (Muffled)

- Good boy. Smart.

Hmmm.

(Leaves rustling)

- Now where does he think he's going?

(Knocking) - C'mon, Chef. Hurry upppp--

- A-HEM. Hey Duncan. Didn't mean to startle you.

Got somethin' you need to tell Chef?

(Crunching) - (Scared whimper)

- You need something, Duncan?

- Oh. Well, I- (Throat clear) I... uh...

- (Crunching) - I don't need anything!

- Then why'd you knock on my door?!

- Great question. Why did'ja knock... Duncan?

- Umm, I-I didn't! I was just...

practicing my face drumming? See?!

(Hard thuds) ♪ Doo doo ♪

♪ Badap bap bah ♪ yeaaaah...ow.

- Oh yeah, I could listen to that all day long.

- Go practice your face drumming somewhere else.

- I'm trying to do basic math in here. IT'S HARD!

And here, put this on.

- WOW! The Bite Life is amazing!

- You're pushing it too far! - I know.

I wonder how much farther I can push it.

- Urgh. Long slide line again?

Almost makes me wanna... bite something.

(Effort grunts)

- Wish I could play for that trophy.

But something happened to my racquet.

- Here, Beth. Um, you can use mine.

- Wow, thanks! - (Running screams)

- Alright, let's play!

I hope I don't lose,

that makes me feel kinda chompy.

- I forfeit! You win! (Screams)

- Was it something I said?! Heh heh.

- Beth needed help with a booger.

It was (GAG) really stuck.

I was up to my elbow!

MY ELBOW! (GAGS)

(Vomits)

Oh no, I forgot to takeoff my helmet.

- This has gotten out of control.

But if I tell everyone it was Mr. ChatterTeeth

that bit Duncan, Beth will know I ratted on her.

There's gotta be another way to make her stop.

- You... but the...they are... GAHHH!

- Harold, you seem tense. Need a massage?

I can make that happen. (Finger snaps)

Duncan, go get some cooking oil,

Leshawna, vanilla candles, Noah, hot towels

and Owen, get a table and start making whale noises!

- Anything you say, Beth!

(Whale noises)

- Beth, you should stop this

before somebody really gets hurt.

- What do you mean "before somebody really gets hurt"?

(Loud stomps)

Uh... what's that?

(Explosions)

(Tree rumbles, saw sounds)

- (Spits) Listen up!

Name's Janet Janetti.

But you can call me Jaws.

- (Gasps) Jaws Janetti?!

I thought she was just an urban legend.

- Me too, but I guess my cousin's friend's

brother's neighbour wasn't lying, she exists!

I heard she once bit a kid in half.

- In half? (Chuckle) That was just a rumour.

(Xylophone melody)

How fun is that?! Huh?

- Word on the street is that there's a new Biter

at this school chompin' to challenge the Chomp Champ!

- Yes, I called Jaws. It's the perfect plan.

Beth will see she's in danger, admit she isn't a biter,

and things will go back to normal.

- Challenge accepted. (Fake chomp)

- Fine! I'll be back right after naptime.

Oh, and don't let the bedbugs bite.

That's my job.

(Chomping)

HAHAHAHHAHHA!

- Betcha three pudding cups Beth wins the bite fight.

- I'll take that action.

- Mmmm, pudding.

All: (Cheering)

Beth! What are you doing?

I called Jaws here to scare you into telling the truth!

Not to get eaten!

- You called her?!

- I-I-I mean-(meekly) Yes.

- WHY?! We had a great thing going!

All the juice and none of the squeeze!

UGH! Now I have to bite somebody for realzies.

- NO! You don't have to bite anyone!

That's not you, Beth! That's not you!

- I have no choice! If I come clean now,

the others'll never let me live it down.

And there's no way that walking bear trap, Janetti,

is gonna let me bail from a Bite Fight.

- (Gasps) You're right!

It'd be a clear violation of the Biter's Code!

- Uh. Yeah.

So it looks like there's only one thing to do now.

- No. Beth. You don't mean...

- Yep! Training montage. Cue music!

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(Chomping sounds)

- (Snarling) - Agh!

(Saw buzzes)

- Arg! - (Horrified gasp)

(Music sting)

- It's clear a second montage

isn't exactly enough time to get good at anything.

So we're gonna catch the first train outta--

- What?! You saw me with that dog,

I'm a straight predator, son!

And if things go sideways,

I'll ditch and let my stunt double take over.

- Innnn this corner!

Weighing in at a svelte pounds!

It's BETHHHHHHHHH! - (Cheering)

- And in this corner!

With a record of bites to zero booboos!

JANET! JAWS! JANETTIIIIII!

- (Jeering) - (Teeth chomping)

- Oopsies. I gave up diapers too early.

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(Ding)

- Nope! Nope nope nope nopeitty nope.

Ahhhhh! - C'mere!

- What is all the noise?

(Teeth chomp) - AAAAAAAAAH!

- Nope! Nope nope nope nopeitty nope.

- Beth! What are you doing?

Remember your training!

- You were right, Harold! I'm not a biter!

- What? - Not a biter?

- I never should've pretended I bit Duncan

just so everyone would be scared of me

and give me stuff!

All: (Gasp) SERIOUSLY?!

- I just liked being the big mouth on campus for once.

I'm so sorry, guys--

(Fighting sounds) Jaws: Get over here!

- Ugh. I think I just lost three pudding cups.

- Guys! If Beth's not really a biter,

and Janetti is, that means...

(Gasp) We gotta save her!

- No! Owen! It's too dangerous.

No one can help her now.

- WRONG!

- (Teeth chomp) - OWWWWWWWWWWW!

She bit me!

(Crying) WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!

- Wow! Am I glad that's over.

And not even a scratch!

(All gasp, beaver spits) - What?

Well, being big dog on campus for awhile was fun,

but I'm glad things are back to normal.

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- (Teeth chomp) - Yes, sir, Mr. ChatterTeeth.

I've got your brush right here.

(Teeth chomp) (Duncan screams)

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