03x30 - Mad Math: Taffy Road

[bunniefuu]

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Courtney: WOO-HOO!

Guess who won the calculus for candy competition,

again!

- Wow! C'mon Kids, clap for Courtney!

(Capping)

- Nope. And if you're wondering why;

HINT: she never shares her taffy!

- True. - You see these hands?!

They'll never clap for you!

Non-sharer person!

- Now, now. Maybe this year things'll be different,

and Courtney will share her taffy?

- No. As per usual,

my taffy's going straight into the safe

with all my previous winnings.

- HA! Scored myself a piece!

(Hard thud) OOF!

- Touchy my taffy; feel my wrathy.

I-I know that's not a proper word

but, like most children, I enjoy a rhyme.

- Here's a rhyme for you, Courtney,

sharing is caring.

- Why should I share?

I was the one who studied

and I was declared the gracious winner!

Yes! (Dings bell)

- Courtney wins!

- That means you lose!

In yo' face! How'd'ya like THAT Taffy?!

- Goodness gracious!

- Yes. She called me gracious.

That was the word she used.

- So you're not gonna eat any of the taffy you won?

That's just bonkers.

- A single grain of sugar could throw me off

my whole calculus game!

I'd never let that happen!

(Door slams, beeps on)

Now if you'll excuse me,

I need to study for next year's competition.

- It's just a safe.

How hard could it be to cr*ck?!

(Zapping) Ow-OOO-owww-oh-ow!

- There's a skeleton inside of him!

- Ugh, I feel like a turkey dinner.

(Arm whirs)

(Light thuds) Ooh! Ah! Ah! Ah!

- (Sighs) I better check if there are any bandages left

from my last bulk order.

Now now, kids. Sit tight. I won't be long.

- Ooh! Ah! Ah! Ah!

- You're my only real friend Ninja Robot.

Everyone else only cares about 'taaaaffy'. Pfft.

We don't need any taffy, right?!

(Energy surges)

- I'm here for the taffy!

And I'm... going to need your backup pants.

- (Gasps) W-wait, y-you're me from, from the future?!

Wait, wait, wait,

so time travel is possible but not for pants?

- Um, pants can only travel forward in time.

- What is going on?!

And why is there another Harold with no pants on?

- Courtney! I travelled here from the dystopian future

to warn you: Share your taffy!

Before it's too late!

- Nice try, but if I won't give taffy to regular Harold.

Why would I give it to Harold from the future?

- You leave me no choice!

You're coming to the future with me!

- Hey!

(Energy surges)

(Crow caws)

(Energy surges)

- (Gasps) This is the future?!

- Yes, thanks to you! (Alarm wails)

(Gasps) It's the Taffy Troopers!

Quick! We have to hurry!

(Seatbelt clicks)

(Tires squeal)

(Engine roars)

- How is all of this about taffy?!

- After the calculus for candy competition,

your need grew stronger.

Eventually, you won every piece of taffy in the world

causing the greatest candy shortage of all time!

Taffy became the new currency

and you became ruthless ruler of us all.

- That does sound very "me". Hm.

- You could have shared it but nooooooo.

I had to lead a taffy rebellion,

and invent a time machine, just to save humanity!

- How far into the future is this?!

- Eleven days.

- This all happened in eleven days?!

(Squishy sounds) - OH NO! Glue trap!

(Tires squeal, door creaks open)

- (Gasps) You're the loser kid from the math contest.

- We've been expecting you, Courtney.

Time to face your fate at...

The Calculus Dome!

- Please your Highness, can I have some taffy?

- Maybe.

How good is your calculus?

- I don't even know what callacus is,

so probably... not good?

- You've got thirty seconds to answer

the following equation!

- Callacus is math?! OH NO!

I-I don't know.

Can I phone a friend?!

- Hmm. I'll allow it. You have seconds.

(Buttons beep, line rings)

- Hello? - Owen it's me, uh, you!

From the future!

- (Gasps) What time is it in the future?

- Um...It's . No, . No, !

Ohhh, I see what's happening.

(Buzzer sounds) - Times up!

Into the pit of failure!

(Long scream, landing thud, bones cr*ck)

- Bring the new challenger forward!

- Ow! - Well, well well.

So the taffy rebellion realized the only person

with a chance of b*ating me at calculus was me.

- I-It only makes sense.

Who else could b*at us?

(In unison) No one at our school, that's for sure.

(Laughing)

It's so nice to finally meet someone who really...

(In unison) gets me?

(Laughing) (In unison) Yes.

- Maybe this was a mistake.

- As for you, Harold--

- May I? - Of course.

(Long scream, landing thud) - Oof!

- Come with me. I'll show you around our future!

Here's where we keep all our taffy winnings!

- Wow, it's more than I thought.

(Happy squeak, gulps)

- COURTNEY DOESN'T SHARE TAFFY!

- (Spits)

- Administer the usual punishment.

(Energy zaps)

(Erasing squeaks)

(Maniacal laughter)

- Heh-heh... so, um...

what do you do for fun around here?

- We just did it. I lead with cruelty

and erase those who I don't like.

Did you miss it? I can do it again.

- No. No no. I saw.

(Nervous laugh) That was... fun.

I think this future might be bad.

- Come on. Let me show you something in the basement.

- (Gasps) They're all... me!

♪ Ta da ♪

- You didn't think you were the first Courtney

they brought here, did you?

I call these The Basement Courtney's.

They didn't agree with me so they stay here.

I am SO glad

you and I get along!

I'd hate to have you end up here,

like them.

- (Nervous laugh) Yeahhh.

Okay. This future is very bad!

- Bring forth another taffy challenger!

Solve this equation!

- I'll try squeezing my brain...

(Straining) Come on.

(Straining) Alllmost thinking.

(Straining)

- Oh come on, Cody'll never solve this,

he can't even tie his shoes.

You're just... MEAN!

- And YOU are beginning to sound

like a real basement Courtney!

- If you want a real calculus challenger,

then guess what:

You plus me equals...

IT. IS. ON!

(Starter beep)

Wow. Math got really weird.

(Engine revs, blow horn sounds)

(Tires screech)

- Hope you studied! (Laughing)

- (Coughing)

(Engine roars, ding)

- You can't win. Future Courtney is too strong!

- (Sighs)

And I never even ate a single piece of my winnings.

Good thing this taffy can travel forward in time.

Yep. Might as well enjoy my last moment of freedom

before I join the basement Courtneys.

Ugh.

Oh, Taffy's kinda gross.

Ahhhhh, and way too sweet.

SUGAR RUUUUUUUUSHHH!!!!!!

(Beeping)

(Engine revs)

(Engine roars, ding)

(Engines roar, ding)

- Huh?! H-how how did you--

- We were wrong! Taffy only makes you stronger!

You'd know that too,

if you ever shared any with YOURSELF!

Now to solve the final answer and win this thing!

(Engine roars)

(Ding)

WOOOOOHOOO!

I won!

- It's no fair! You can't come here from the past

and-Uh-oh.

Ahhhhh! (Bones cr*ck)

- Now I have all the Taffy,

and I have all the power!

And you'll all bow down to ME!

(AHEM) This is kinda how the whole thing started

in the first place?

- Ooohhh. Riiiiight.

Well, then, the taffy now belongs to everyone!

(All cheer)

- Thank you, Courtney. You saved us!

- I should get back to my time.

I'll miss you, Harold.

- You could just be friends with the Harold

in your time line. - Ehnnnnn...

- But he's me, just-- - Ehnnnnn...

- (Defeated sigh)

(Energy surges)

- Ow! Ow! Ow!

- I don't think it's working.

- No, no. I almost got it.

(Look unclicks)

- Help yourselves.

(Munching sounds)

- It's so gross and I don't even care!

- It's really great of you to share.

- Thanks Harold!

Maybe we can be friends after all...

want some of my walnuts?

- Nuts aren't allowed at the school!

I'm telling! CHEEEEEEF!

- Yep. Back to normal. ♪ Ta ta ta ♪

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