03x49 - Legends of the Paul

[bunniefuu]

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Chef: Gather 'round, kids!

Today's a very special day!

Today's the last day of Paul's hundred year timeout!

(Click, whirs open)

(Blows party favour)

- You had years to plan a celebration

and that was it?

- (Spits) Yep.

Oh darn, I probably should've done that in front of Paul.

Oh well...

(Marker squeaks) - PAUL!!!

- Owwww! My lumbago!

- Your timeout is over. You're free.

- Free? But-Where will I go?

- Not my problem. Hope you enjoyed your stay.

I'll show you out.

Enjoy your gift bag. Buh-bye now.

(Door slams) - Okay, Paul, you can do this.

I'm sure not much has changed in the past years.

(Whirring)

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AHHH! ROBOTS!

The floor is eating the stairs!

Ahhh! This toilet is taking pictures of me!

- (Banging) Sir! SIR!

That is not a bathroom!

- This new world is scary.

How will I survive on my own?

Where will I live?

Who will spoon pudding into my mouth

while I sleep all day?

Beth: I can't believe Paul got a year timeout.

- Oh yeah, he's a living legend.

The only kid in history to get a year timeout

for his shenanigans.

- He must've been the biggest troublemaker ever.

- Take that back! - Back it up, Bucko.

Owen's right.

What's the longest timeout you ever got?!

- Pfft. Duncan's never gotten more than minutes.

Laaame.

- What is happening right now? You know me!

I'm the Prince of Pranks!

The Duke of Destruction!

The King of Chaos!

- Nuh uh. Sorry, Duncan,

but your worst shenanigan is chicken feed

compared to Paul's BIG ONE.

- How DARE you!

What'd Paul do that was so amazing anyway?!

- I don't actually know. And I don't want to!

There's a ledger tucked away in my office

that has the details of every timeout

ever given at this daycare

but I haven't read Paul's page.

Legend has it, every teacher who read the details

of Paul's epic shenanigan

came down with the brain wobbles

and had to be sent to a special island!

(Wings flutter)

(Bird sings)

- It's Paul! How did he find us?!

- Aaaaaahhh!

All: Whoooooooa...

Come on, no prank can be that good,

otherwise I'd have already done it!

Hey, it's okay that Paul is better at sha-gag-anins

than you.

- Don't be so hard on yourself, your pranks are still cute.

- CUTE?!!!!

- Chill, sweet cheeks.

Not everyone can be a legendary bad boy, like Paul.

- No way am I letting that old fart steal my status!

I just need to find out what Paul did

to get that year timeout and OUTDO IT.

I should be the legend, NOT HIM!

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Any second now and that timeout ledger's mine.

(Clicks)

WHOA. A safe inside a safe?

This ledger must be epic!

This is it. YES!

Time to find out what Paul did, top it,

and become the legend I rightfully deserve to--

WHAT?! - A-HEM!!!

You just earned yourself an unremarkable

minute timeout, buster. - Laaame.

- Now the only way I'll learn what Paul did

to get that year timeout is from Paul himself.

- If can find him.

Ow! Please. I'm so hungry!

Oh, OUCH!

Ow-oh I miss my timeout corner.

Aw, son of a monkey.

- (Sighs) I'll never find him.

He could be anywhere.

Probably off having the best time he's ever--

- Ahhhhhhh- - Owwww! OOOOF!

- PAUL! I'm so glad I found you.

- (Spits) When did pigeons get so violent?!

- I don't understand that question,

so I'm moving on.

Look, I know you were really something back in the day,

and uh, I'm a bit of a trouble maker myself,

so I was wondering if maybe uh, you'd tell me your secret.

- I pooped in a photo booth today.

- What?! NO, DUDE!

I meant what you did to get that year timeout.

Please, I'll do anything if you tell me.

ANYTHING.

- This kid is my ticket back inside.

- Well, since I got no kids of my own,

I'm willing to teach you how to be a real mischief-maker.

- Yeah, I'm not really looking for an intro class,

I just need to know what the prank was

that earned you that massive timeout.

I can't just tell you the greatest shenanigan

ever pulled!

Your mind would snap like an overloaded wagon

on a corduroy road!

Who makes roads out of pants?!

Just tell me how you got the timeout?!

- Hey! It's my way or the highway.

- Ugggh! Fiiine!

- Good. And I only do school-based shenanigans,

so you'll need to sneak me back into the daycare.

- (Huffs) Sure. Whatever.

Let's find you a disguise at the local thrift store.

Okay, let's see how you look.

- (Groans) Too gnarly.

Oh! Too adorable.

Oh, too poopy.

(Cheerful) It's perfect!

- Dude, no one's gonna believe you're a kid

just because you have a propeller beanie.

Those things went out of fashion a century ago.

- It'll work fine,

and fashion is cyclical,

for your information!

- (reads) "As they made their way up river

to find the Colonel, Willard knew this was

no ordinary mission, and he-- (Door opens)

Duncan, where've you-- Who's that with you?

Uh, new student. His name is Paul--

Notpaul! Nepal. Napoleon!

That's his name. Napoleon.

You look familiar, Napoleon. And old.

- Oh, really?

Would an old person wear a hat like this?

(Whooshes)

- Mmm. Good point.

Welcome to our daycare Napoleon.

- Okay, your dumb hat worked.

Now will you tell me about (whispers) the Big One!

- Slow down your rolling.

I need to teach you to walk

before I teach you to get the runs.

- You are horrible at expressions.

- Either way, if you wanna learn the BIG ONE

you gotta start with the small ones.

Your first shenanigan is one I call

the "Exploding Bowl Troll".

- Hah! Child's play.

- I recommend stall number .

- Ooooh! That's my favourite.

(Toilet flushes)

(expl*si*n) Owen: Ahhhhh!

- I call this one The Plummeting Pail of Porcupine!

Can you handle it?

- Yawn. In my sleep, grandpa.

(Nonchalant whistling)

(Bucket thuds) - AHHHH!

WHO DID THIS?!

Paul: This one is spring-training

for the big leagues, son.

Behold the Snake Snack att*ck!

- Seriously? Is this amateur hour?

One Snake Snack att*ck coming up.

Beth: Who turned out the lights? Hello?

Helllloo?

- Nope. I am done with the appetizers, Paul.

I'm ready for the BIG ONE and you know it!

- Ho-ho-ho. Well then...

let's talk about the big one.

It's called ding dong dash!

- Wait. What? Ding dong dash?

That's the BIG ONE?!

I was pulling that prank when I was a baby!

- Sure, everyone's dinged donged dashed,

but not like me!

The trick is to keep doing it.

Again and AGAIN and AGAINN!

People started questioning reality.

They were all,

"But I heard the bell and no one is there,

but if I can't trust my ears and eyes...

we have ghost people!

We must throw all animals into the well."

(Laughs, then coughs)

it was epic.

- THAT is what made Paul a legend?! Lame.

It is gonna be SO easy to top that.

I know you're the legend,

but what if we modernize your prank

with a little bit of Duncan magic.

There!

The backhoe drills holes all around the perimeter...

space m*llitary rockets to fill the holes...

a truckload of highly expl*sive firecrackers for Chef's car...

and finally a cake.

Whaddya think of that? á

- Oh, this kid is the Leonardo Da Vinci of shenanigans

and this could earn a timeout to end all timeouts!

- This prank will show everyone

that I am the true legend,

and Paul will be totally forgotten.

Hahahahahaha.

- Hehehehehehe.

- Okay, all the firecrackers are loaded into the car.

We are good to go on Operation BIGGER ONE!

(Doorbell rings)

- Oooh! Free Door Cake!

Niiice. (Mechanical click)

That's weird. Cakes don't click.

(Rockets whoosh)

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

Oh, hello.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...

(Loud crash, expl*si*n)

(Firework pop and whistle)

Fireworks!

(Gasps) This was a shenanigan!

Whoever did this is gettin' a year timeout!

Chef, I am proud to say the person responsible

for all this is-- Paul: ME!

- Napoleon! Why did you--

- (Gasps) PAUL!

Of course it was you!

Back to the time out corner!

- Woohoohoohoo! - WHA-WAIT!

But I did it! It was ME!

- Nope. NUH-UH.

This has Paul written alllll over it.

- That was epic.

Paul is even more of a legend, now.

A year timeout?

No one will EVER top that!

- But... but--

- Awe, don't be sad, Duncan.

You've been a very good boy today.

- (Sobbing)

It was me. Not him.

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