Broken Jug, The (1937)

[bunniefuu]

By Heinrich von Kleist
Translated by Carl R. Mueller

Court today-Adam, village judge

What the devil! Judge Adam
What has befallen you?

To stumble one needs naught but feet.

The floor's flat

Where's to stumble?
But still I stumble

All of us carry stumbling-
blocks in ourselves.

Stumbling-blocks?

Yes. In ourselves.

Judge Adam, your lecherous
old namesake

became famous for his fall.

Surely you couldn't have.

Likewise?

If I?

I fell right here! Understand?

Figuratively speaking, you mean.

Figurative!
It must have been a terrible sight.

When did it happen?

Now! Just as I stepped from my bed,
My morning song fresh on my lips.

I stumble into the morning. My day's
appointed round not yet begun,

the Lord God pulls the rug
from under my feet.

Hm, and the left one at that.

The left one?

Heavy, at least on the paths of sin.

The foot, heavy? Why?

The club foot.

One foot's like the other!

You do your right foot wrong.

The right cannot boast of this weight
And dares to tread upon thin ice.

Where one dares go the other follows.

And what has put your face
so out of joint?

My what? My face?

What? You know nothing of it?

I'd have to be a liar.
How does it look?

How it looks? Dreadful!

Explain yourself.

The skin's all off.

A loathsome sight.

A piece of cheek is missing!

How big? I'd need a scale
to learn its weight.

Here. Now convince yourself!

Hm! Yes! 'Tis true.

It's not a lovely sight.

My nose has suffered also.

And your eye.

Not my eye.

Here, right across as if a
bloodthirsty foreman raged at you.

That is the bone around my eye.

Yes, yes! It goes thus
in the heat of battle.

Of battle! What?

With that accursed goat's head
I fought, if you so will.

Now I recall.

When I had lost my balance,
like a drunk

I grasped in space around me

I caught my trousers which I'd
hung wet there the night before.

You understand. I grab them and
I hope to brace myself

The belt tore and it and
band and pants and I crash

headlong and smash my forehead

straight against the stove
where the goat is on the corner.

Adam's first fall was into bed,
not out.

What I wanted to say...

What's new for today?

I almost forgot!

Well?

You're about to have an unexpected
visit from Utrecht.

The Inspector General's due anytime.

Who's coming?

The Inspector General. From Utrecht.

Observing the district courts,
and due here today.

Today? What? Are you mad?

No! He was in Holland yesterday at the
border and from there coming here.

A farmer saw his coach being hitched.

Today, here? The Inspector
General from Utrecht?

An honest man who shears his own
sheep won't like what he finds here.

Coming to Huisum to torment us, hm?

If he's got to Holland, he'll get to
Huisum, be sure. Beware.

I tell you...

Go with your stories!

The farmer saw him!

Who knows what that bleary-eyed
peasant saw!

Those bastards wouldn't know a face
from a bald head.

All right, then, don't believe me.
Till he walks in that door.

Walks in that door! Without warning?

Stupid, Judge Adam! This isn't the
former auditor.

Walter's the auditor. He arrived
in Holland yesterday unannounced.

And not only went over the accounts
but suspended the judge and clerk.

Why? Who knows!
Ab officio.

Damn it all!

Is that what that farmer told you?

That's not all.

If you want to know, they looked
for the judge this morning.

He was under house arrest.

They found him hanging from the
highest beam in his barn.

Hanged?

They cut him down, rub him,
pour water on him and revive him.

He was saved?

But now then they seal him up in
his house. So there he sits.

A corpse before his time. And his
judgeship given to someone else.

The hangman, look!

What a lecherous dog he was.

Not a bad sort.
Always good for a laugh.

But a lecherous beast all the same.

Must have been quite a tangle
he had with the Judge.

This is why the farmer says he's
not here yet.

He'll be here at noon without fail.

At noon?

Dear Licht, it's good we're friends.

You scratch my back, I scratch yours.

I know you'd like to be judge here.

God knows you deserve it.

But today's not the day.

Let's suffer that cup to pass
us by today.

Village Judge? What must you
think of me!

Two old friends like us? Go on!

Come, let's go to the Records Room.

We'll straighten up the documents
lying there like the Tower of Babel.

Judge Adam!

At your service.

Greetings from Judge Walter.
He'll be here any minute.

Oh, God!

He's already done in Holland?

In Huisum, yes, sir.

Liese! Greta!

Easy, Adam, easy!

Send him your greetings.

Tomorrow he leaves for Huzzah.

What do I do? What do I leave?

Put on your trousers!
Are you well?

We're here!

Who? The Judge?
-No, your maid!

My bands! My coat! My collar!

First the vest...

What? Off with the coat!
Hurry! Hurry!

Tell the Inspector he's welcome.
We're nearly ready.

The hell we are! Go and tell his
Judgeship Judge Adam will be excused!

Yes, excused! I look a spectacle.

And every fright brings on a natural
purge, if you get my drift.

I'm getting sick.

You're insane.

Tell the District Judge he's welcome.

Liese! Greta!

What do you want, sir?

Bring the cheese, ham, butter
and beer from the Records Room!

Hurry! No, not you! The other!

You stupid mare! Yes, you!
Liese! Good God! In the Records Room!

Then say what you mean, sir.

Shut up, girl! Get me my wig.
-Where?

In the bookcase! March!

The man's not well!

Tell the District Judge he's welcome.

Old fool, old fool.

You gave yourself away. -How so?

Embarrassed, eh? -Me, embarrassed?

Yes, embarrassed! Liese!

What's that?
-Braunschweiger sausages, sir.

That's obvious!
Take them back to the Records Room!

The sausages?

Sausages! Hell! The documents!

Not in the bookcase, sir. Your wig?

Why not?

Well, sir, because you,
last night, at eleven...

Stop stuttering!

You came back without your wig.

Without my wig?

It's a fact, sir. Liese can testify.

Your other wig's at the wig shop.
-I was...?

Bald as an eagle you come home
last night.

You says you fell. Don't remember,
sir? I washed blood off your face

The hussy!
-I was telling the truth!

Shut up! You hear? You're lying!

So the wound's from last night...

Today the wound, yesterday the wig!

Last night I wore it powdered.
Took it off when I came home.

She probably washed it!

Go to hell! And take those back to
the Records Room!

Ask the sacristan to lend me his.

The cat littered in mine last night,
the dirty swine!

Found it under the bed this morning.
What a mess! I just remembered!

The cat! What? Are you...

Yes! Upon my life!

Five. Yellow, black and one is white.

I'll drown the black in the river.
What can one do? Want one?

In the wig? -The devil take me!

I hung my wig on the chair, then
I went to bed.

I must have bumped the
chair, and off it fell.

Then the cat grabbed it in her mouth

And carried it under the bed
and had kittens.

The scoundrels!
They mate and litter where they are.

Curse my abdomen.

Come, come now Grete.

Should I go?

Give my best to the sacristan's wife.

I'll return it later today, undamaged,
and not to say a word to the sacristan. Hear?

I'll do my best, sir!

You jug-breaking vermin!
You'll hear about this!

What drivel! If one of us broke
your jug, you'll get damages.

Me? Compensated?
Perhaps when my cattle learns to talk!

You mean justice is a potter?

Leave her be. The broken jug isn't
her problem, it's the busted wedding!

I'm damned if I'll marry her whore
of a daughter now!

Lout! Fix the wedding?

If the wedding were here, unbroken,
like my jug was, I'd break it over his head!

Be quiet Martha, everything will be
resolved!

Ruprecht! -Go away!

I swear!
-You wanton...! I don't want to say.

Please let me whisper something.
-No!

You'll join your regiment soon, who
knows if when you'll carry a g*n

when I will see you alive again.

You're going off to w*r.

You wouldn't want to leave me,
mad as you are.

Mad? Save me God, not mad.

I wish you the best and God's blessing.

But if I come back alive an' live to
eighty, I'll call you whore to my dyin' breath.

Will you stand there and be insulted?

Dear friend!
-Yes?

The petitioners are at the door already.

Every one? We hold court today?

Of course! I'll check.

This day is fated.

How so?

I dreamt a plaintiff grabbed me and
dragged me here to my bench.

And I sat on the bench before myself

and scolded and skinned and
battered myself to a pulp

and sentenced my own neck to be
clapped in irons.

In the dream you mean?

Damnation! If not the dream,
some other fate!

It's a plot against me.

The Inspector comes!
-A plague on your throat!

God save you, Judge Adam!

Welcome! Welcome to fair Huisum!

Who could have dreamt
of such good fortune!

My visit here is hasty, I know.

But I come in my country's service
with all good will.

Even if my host will grant me a
sincere farewell.

The Tribunal in Utrecht is determined
to improve the administration of law

in our rural regions where it is
somewhat lax.

In between I mean to be sincere
as pertains to my visit.

I haven't come to right such wrongs
on the spot, but to observe.

Should things be lacking, as we say

then I shall be satisfied if at least
they are not unendurable.

Ah, what noble reasoning!

Your Honor will doubtless find fault
with certain customs.

You may find our office quite in order.

Shine your light kindly on Huisum
today, sir, so that on your departure

our fair village will set it all right.

And this is your court clerk?

At Your Honor's service.

Come Pentecost, I'll have served here
nine years.

Be seated, sir.

You come from Holland?

Who told you?

Told? Why, Your Grace's servant.

A farmer fresh from Holland.

A farmer?
-An old farmer.

The cheerful disposition we are
obliged to maintain was disturbed.

You may have heard.

Is it true, then, Your Honor?

Judge Paul under house arrest?
And hanged himself?

Making it all infinitely worse.

What looked like only disorder
and confusion

now assumes the complexion of
embezzlement.

In the eyes of the law, inexcusable.

Is your court in session today?

If we...?
-Yes. First day of the week.

And the crowd outside there is...?

Probably...
-The plaintiffs, Your Honor.

Yes, the plaintiffs.

Good! My visit's well timed.

I will observe and learn of some of
the "customs” here in Huisum.

Let the people appear as you choose.

After this I'll inspect
the registry and funds.

As Your Honor wishes.
The bailiff! Bailiff!

The sacristan's wife sends greetings,
sir, but can't loan you the wig.

What's that?

He has morning prayers, and the
other's at the wig-maker's.

Damn the luck!

As soon as he's back she'll send it.

Upon my honor, Your Grace...

Yes?

A terrible accident last night.
Both my periwigs destroyed.

And the one I'd hoped to borrow
is not available just now.

I'll have to hold court bald-headed.
-Bald-headed?

Lord forgive me, sir, my dignity is
in terrible peril without my periwig.

I'll send out to the farm, to tenants.

How far is it to the farm?

A short half hour.
-A half hour!

But the hour for your session has
already struck.

Hurry! I'm scheduled in Huzzah today!
-Yes, hurry hurry...

Go powder your head! Where in the
devil's name did you lose your wigs?

Do the best you can. I'm in a hurry.

Of course.

You called the bailiff, sir.

While we wait, may I offer you a good
breakfast?

Braunschweiger sausage,
a little glass of brandy?

Thank you, no.
-It's no trouble.

Thank you, I heard! Already ate.

Now go and don't waste time.
I'll take some notes.

You have a nasty wound, Judge Adam.

Did you take a spill?

Yes.

Nearly k*lled myself this morning.

Climbing out of bed, you know. Fell
straight into the room here.

Thought I'd found my final resting
place. Here. On this floor.

Sorry to hear it. I trust there will
be no complications?

Not if I can help it! No, sir. Won't
affect my duty. By your leave.

Go, go!

Bailiff, the plaintiffs! Come here.

Calm down, Frau Martha.
It'll be settled.

Settled? Hm? My jug? My broken jug?

If you're right, I'll buy a new one.

Is justice no more than a potter?
If your judge tied on an apron and

put it in the kiln, they'd as easy
put a thing in it as give me damages.

Set the jug down, restore it!
My jug, with no leg to stand on!

The old dragon! Curse it!

Forget the jug. I'll get it mended.
Let me find a craftsman in the city

who can put the pieces back together.

Or take my savings and buy a new one!

But who wants to be in such an awful
uproar over a jug from Herod's time.

You talk like you know!

Your honor was in the jug. When it
fell, your honor was lost to the world.

The craftsman to mend my jug is the
judge who sits on that bench.

I'm here to see honor b*rned pure
again, as new glaze for my jug.

Oh! Little Eve!

And with her that square-shouldered
bastard Ruprecht!

Oh! They can all go to hell!

They'd never accuse me to my face!

What's the trouble here, Clerk Licht?

Fuss over nothing, it looks like.
A broken jug.

A jug? I see! Well!
So... who broke the jug?

Who broke it?
-Yes.

Sit down and learn with the
rest of us.

I can't take it! My foot's in pain.

You take the case, I'm going to bed.

Bed? Me? Take the case? You're mad!

Oh, God! I'll be sick.
-I don't care. Tell Judge Walter.

Maybe he won't object.

Little Eve, what brings you to me?

You'll know soon.

By my wounds! What's happening here?

You'll hear soon.

Is it only the jug your mother has?
-Yes. Just the broken jug.

That's all?
-That's it.

You mean it?
-Leave me in peace!

Listen to me. Don't be a fool.

You shameful...

There's an induction certificate made
out with the name Ruprecht Tümpel.

If I send this, your Ruprecht will
croak somewhere in India

of I don't know what fever, yellow
or scarlet. Or foul play.

Don't speak to the parties before
the session, Judge Adam.

You sit here and question them.

Hm? What did he say?

What?

What would you like?

You are not permitted to talk with
litigants before the session.

Here is the place that most befits
your office.

And now, if you please, I should
like to hear a trial.

Cursed.
-Judge Adam, are you deaf?

His Honor is calling you!
-Who called?

Judge Walter!

What's your pleasure, Your Honor?

Should I start the proceedings?

You are oddly distraught, Judge.
Is anything wrong?

On my honor. Pardon.

One of my guinea hens has the pip.
Bought her from an Indian sailor.

I should cram her but don't know how.

I asked the girl for advice.

I'm a fool in such matters.
My chicks are all my children.

Judge, sit here! Call the claimant
and examine him.

Clerk Licht, you will kindly keep
the record.

Would Your Grace prefer to have
the trial conducted according to

formalities of law, or by custom in
Huisum?

After the formalities of law, as
customary in Huisum will suffice.

Good. I know how to serve you.

Clerk? Are you ready?
-Ready, Your Honor.

Then let Justice take its course.

Will the plaintiff step forward.

Here I am, Judge Adam.

Who are you?

Who I am?
-Who you are!

...

Are you jesting, Judge?

I do not jest, Frau Martha.

I sit in the name of Justice, and
Justice demands to know who you are.

You stick your head in my window
to say hello

on the way to your farm.
-Do you know this woman?

She lives around the corner, Your Grace.

Where the path crosses the hedges.

Widow, now a midwife. An honorable
woman, sir. Good reputation.

Record her name and write: known to
court. Questioning is superfluous.

Your Grace is not for formalities!

Do as His Grace wishes!

Ask her complaint.

Now?

Her complaint!

That would also be a jug, sir,
begging your pardon.

A jug! Nothing but a jug!

Put down: a jug. And beside it:
Known to the court.

But, Judge, when I said--
-Write what I tell you!

It is a jug?
-Here is the jug!

You see!

Who broke it? That rascal there,
no doubt!

Indeed, there is the rascal!

That's all I need.
-That's a lie!

Silence you gaping fool!

Your neck will soon be in
irons, make no mistake about it.

Write: a jug. And beside it: The
name of that man, who broke it.

Judge Adam! I cannot believe what
I'm seeing!

How's that?
-He wants formalities.

His Grace is not fond of formalities.

If you are unfamiliar with procedure,
this is not the place to learn.

If this is how you judge, step down.
Perhaps your clerk is better informed.

Your Grace said to proceed
according to custom.

I did?
-Yes, on my honor.

I ordered you to proceed according
to law.

The law in Huisum is the same as
elsewhere in the United Provinces.

I beg pardon. Here in Huisum we
have certain statutes, unrecorded

time-approved, hoary with age
and tradition, I assure you.

I trust I have not swerved from that
noble code so much as an iota.

I am very well versed in the forms of
justice elsewhere in the Netherlands.

If you desire proof, you have only to
ask. I can mete out justice any way.

You misunderstood me. So be it.
You will begin again.

You will have satisfaction.

Frau Martha Rull will bring forward
her complaint.

My complaint is over this jug.

But before I tell you what happened
I must describe what it meant to me.

The floor is yours.

Do you see this jug, esteemed
gentlemen?

Of course, we see the jug.
-No, you see the pieces of this jug!

This loveliest of jugs, now dashed
asunder.

It was here right in this hole, that
you cannot see because it is missing

Here all Netherland's provinces
were delivered to Philip of Spain.

And here, in his robes, stood Charles
the Fifth. Only his legs remain now.

And here, here is where Philip knelt
to receive his crown.

He's inside the jug now.
What a blow he took on his bum.

Here in the middle, in his miter,
stood the Archbishop of Arras

but devil has taken him all together
now, 'cause only his shadow falls.

Here, houses of the Brussels Market

Here, a head stuck out a window! I
don't know what he's looking at now.

Spare us the broken pieces, they are
not part of this case.

We are concerned with the hole, not
the giving of provinces.

Admissible! The beauty is a part!
Childeric the Tinker captured it

when a Spaniard had filled it with
wine and put it to his mouth

when Childeric struck him from
behind, picked up the jug,

drained it, and went his way.

It was inherited by Feargod the grave
digger who drank from it three times

he was a temperate man, he always
mixed his wine with water.

First at sixty, he married a wife.
Second, she made him a father.

Third when she d*ed after having
borne him fifteen children.

Come to the point, Frau Martha.

Then there was the fire in '66. Then
it was my husband's, rest his soul.

Damnation woman, aren't you
finished yet!

If I'm not to speak, Judge Adam,
I will find a court that will listen.

You should speak, but only of
matters relevant.

We need to know the jug's value for
you so we can make a judgment.

What happened to the jug?

What happened? The jug was destroyed
by that scoundrel!

Who?
-Ruprecht there!

That's a dirty lie!
-Speak when you're spoken to!

Did you get that down, Clerk Licht?

You will now tell us what happened.

It was eleven yesterday.
-When?

Eleven.
-In the morning?

No, at night. I'd put out the candle

when I hear men's voices in my
daughter's room. A terrible row!

Like the devil himself had broke in!

I hurry down the steps, and there's
her door, smashed in by force

and angry voices inside.

And when I light the lamp,
what do I find? What do I find?

What?
-I find my jug here smashed to bits

and the girl wringing her hands, and
that lout, there in the room.

I'll bet!

I asked him what he was doing and
what right he had to smashing my jug

Do you know how he answered me,
the lout? The shameless lout?

What?
-He said someone else did it!

Someone else!

Someone else who
escaped out the window before him!

Something's rotten.
-And then he set to raving at us!

Rotten, rotten!

And then?

I ask my daughter, pale as death,
was it someone else?

She says, what must I think of
her! and swears by the Mother of God

there was no one else but him.
-I swore nothing!

I didn't! I swear!

You're lying!
-Hear that?

You coward!
You want a fist in the face?

You'll have all the time you want!
Later!

Frau Martha! What are you doing!

Don't thr*aten the poor child.

Let her think.

Give her some time to calmly
remember what really happened

I say, what really happened,
and tell us

and what still can happen if she
does not speak as she should

Pay heed. She'll tell us all, whether
she swore or no.

No, Judge Adam, no!

Do not give equivocal
instructions to the litigants!

Let her look me in the face and tell
me that it wasn't Ruprecht

And what's more, she's just about to
-Judge Adam!

Did you or did you not say that?

Who'll deny I said it?

The whore!
-Write that down.

Shame on her!

I do not know what I should think
of your actions!

If you had broken this jug yourself,
you could not with greater zeal

attempt to shift suspicion from
yourself onto this young man.

You'll record no more than the girl's
admission of confession, Clerk.

Is it not time for the girl to
testify?

You must realize a man can be

mistaken in such things, Your Grace.

Who should I have questioned next?
The accused? I'm open to advice, sir.

Yes, question the accused.

Question him, and get this over with!

This is the last case you will ever
try, Judge Adam!

The last? What? Oh yes, the accused!

What were you thinking you old judge!

Damn that guinea-hen!

Why couldn't it have d*ed of the
plague in India!

All I have on my mind is that noodle
dumpling.

What's on your mind?
What kind of dumpling?

The noodle dumpling I'm to
give my hen.

If the beast won't swallow the
pill, I don't know what...

I'd suggest you do your duty!

The accused will step forward.

Here, Judge Adam. Ruprecht.

Son of the village cotter. Of Huisum.

You've heard the complaint Frau
Martha has brought against you?

I sure have, Your Honor.

Dare you something against that?

Or are you going to lie about it

like some godless creature?

What I have to bring against it,
Your Honor?

With your permission,
every word she says is a lie.

I see. And you will prove that?

Calm yourself, Frau Martha.

All will be well.

What has Frau Martha to do with
you, Judge Adam?

Well, by God, Your Grace, as I am a
Christian, too

You may adduce what you like in
your defense.

What are you gaping at!

What do you have to depose?

The jackass stands there like an ox.
What do you have to depose!

What I have, to depose?

Correct. You will now tell us your
version of the story.

About ten o'clock at night, getting
close to night

I tell my father, "Father, "

"I'm goin' to see Eve for a bit. "

I was plannin' to marry her, see,
but y'know that.

She's a sturdy wench.
I noticed that at harvest time

how quick an' sure her hands was,
hay fl yin' like cats after a mouse.

I says to her: "You want to?”

She says: "Just listen to him crow!”

An' then she says: "Yes. "

Stick to the subject. Crowing!

"I said to her: Do you want to?
and she says: Yes"!

Yes, truly Your Honor.

Continue! Continue!

So...

So I told him, "Hear me, Father?"

"Let me. " We talked by the
window for a while.

“All right", he says, "Go."

"But stay outside, all right?"

I say, "I will, I swear on my soul!”

"All right, " he says.

...

You say, he says, blah blah blah.

Did he finish yammering?

Well, I say, "It's a deal. "

And I put on my cap

and go.

I wanted to cross the bridge,

so I go back through the town, since
the creek is flooded.

"By all the fires of hell, Ruprecht,
I'll bet Martha's gate is locked”

Evie lets it open only till ten.

"If you don't get there by ten, "

What a low-down state of affairs.
-After that?

Then, as I was nearing the
linden arbor at Martha's

I hear the creak of the garden gate
somewhere ahead. It's Eve

I know by her dress.
And there was another person above!

Is that so? Another person?
Who, you canny liar?

Who?

On my honor, I asked the same.

If we don't know we can't hang.

The rest of it! Judge Adam, let
him talk. You always interrupt him.

I can't swear on the Sacrament.
Twas pitch black, all cats were gray.

You have to know that
Lebrecht the cobbler

He's been after my Evie for
God knows how long!

So, Lebrecht is his name?
-Yes, Lebrecht.

Lebrecht, good. That's his name.

Has the clerk recorded it in
the records?

Oh yes. And everything else.

Continue Ruprecht, my dear boy.

I made my way through the garden gate

and hid behind a yew shrub.

I hear a whisper, a joke

A tug here and there.
By God, Judge Adam, the desire...

Terrible!
-Scoundrel!

This goes on a quarter hour.
I think, there's no wedding today!

Before I'm done thinking, whoosh!
In the house before the church!

No, Mother, let happen what will.

Shut up, you!
When your time comes, I'll tell you.

Devil take an uninvited gossip!

Then it heaves me up like a
burst artery.

Air! I tear off my doublet!
Air! And I push and kick

and thunder when I find her door
locked tight.

I brace myself and with one kick
I break the whole damn thing in!

Just when the door breaks, that jug
falls from the shelf onto the floor

Whoosh! A body jumps out the
window, but all I saw was coattails

Lebrecht was it?
-Who else, Judge?

The girl stands there, so I push her
out of my way and rush to the window.

The bastard's stuck where the
grapevine trellis is up to the roof.

I still had the door latch in my hand
from when I broke down the door

So I smashed him one on the head
with that pound of steel.

It was all I still could reach,
Your Honor, his head.

So it was a latch.
-That's right.

So that was it!

The other end of the latch is
what it was.

The other end of the latch!

I see! I see!
-Now the bastard falls.

I see him pulling himself to his feet
in the dark.

He's still alive? I climb to the
window to put an end to him

Just as I crouch to jump

a handful of sand flies into my
eyes like hail.

Damnation! Who was it?

Who? Lebrecht!

Who else?
-I felt like a storm hurled me

from a mountain top to the valley
below--that's how I fell down.

I thought I'd break right through.

I sat up, wiping my eyes

when she comes and screams,
"My God! Ruprecht! What's happened!"

I raise my foot and it's a good I
couldn't see where I was kicking.

The sand did that, too?

The sand? Sure.
-Damn, it hit.

Yes, you know the rest.

I know the rest.

Well, Frau Martha? Now you may speak.

He talks like a thieving marten,
strangling truth like a cackling hen.

Proceed to the proof.

Gladly. Here's my witness.

Speak!

Your daughter? No, Frau Martha!
-No? And why not, may I ask?

As a witness, Your Grace?

But doesn't the law-book say

in section quarto, or is it quinto

that when jugs, or whatever, oh,
how the hell should I know!

Are broken by louts, that daughters
cannot witness for their mothers?

The girl is not a witness,
she is making a statement.

That's in section sexto. But whatever
she says, no one will believe her.

You may come forward, my child.

You! Liese! With your permission

my tongue's dry as a bone.

A glass of water.
-Right away!

Could I, perhaps"”?
French? Or a little Moselle?

No, thanks.

If I may speak my mind, sir

this case seems ready for settlement.

Settlement? That's by no means
clear to me.

Reasonable people are able to
come to settlements

but how a settlement in this case can
be reached

before the matter has even
been unraveled

I'd truly love to hear that from you.

Merciful Heaven, Your Grace

Since law appears to desert me, I
should call philosophy to aid

Then I say it was... Lebrecht.

Who?

Or Ruprecht.
-Who?

Or Lebrecht

who broke the jug.

Who was it then?
Lebrecht or Ruprecht?

I see, you grasp with your verdict
like a hand in a sackful of peas.

Silence, please.

As you say. On my honor, it would
be fine if both were guilty.

Ask there so you will find out.
-Very well.

But if you find out, I'm the rascal.

Are the minutes in order, Clerk?

In order. I'm starting a new sheet,
curious to know what it will hold.

You may speak now, child.

Yes, speak now my child.
Speak now, do you hear?

Show God and the world, sweet Eve,
what truth must be.

Imagine yourself in front of
the Almighty

where denials and babbling words
have no place.

A judge is always, as you know,
a judge.

If he sits one today,
tomorrow it's another.

Say it was Lebrecht, well and good.
Or if you say Ruprecht, it's fine too

Whatever you say, I'm no honest man
if things don't turn out as you wish.

But if you want to tattle on another,
a third party

and name me stupid names

then be careful, I say nothing more.

No man in Huisum will believe you,
nor in the Netherlands!

Then your Ruprecht will be in
great distress.

If you would cut short your speech.

It is idle gossip and has no bearing.

Your Grace doesn't follow me?

If I don't make sense to you
gentlemen from Utrecht

Maybe it's different here.

The young lady knows what I'm after.

What? Say exactly what you know.

Dearest Mother.
-I'm warning you!

Speech comes hard when conscience's
got your throat.

Fool! Like she was a whore!

Whore! Ridiculous!

Frau Martha, what are you doing?
Scaring the child.

She'll come around.
-Yeah sure.

Shut up, you lout!
-Next she'll say is the shoemaker.

Listen, I've lived 49 honorable years

And I want my 50th to be the same.

My birthday's on the 3rd of February
and this is the 1st.

Make it short. Who was it?

Let the poor girl alone.
To hell with the jug.

I wish I'd have broke it!
-You wrong hearted man!

Shame on you! That you didn't
say, "I admit it, I broke it."

Fie, fie Ruprecht!

Shame yourself. For not trusting
me more than that.

If you'd looked in the keyhole and
seen Lebrecht and me drinking

from the jug, you should have said,
"No, my Evie's a good girl."

"Everything will be right in the end,
in this life or the hereafter.

"The Day Judgment is also a day. "

God, I can't wait that long, Evie.

I can only believe what I
hold in my hands!

Suppose it was Lebrecht.

Maybe I had a good reason to hide it.

Why, why couldn't you have trusted me

and said it was you?

Are you saying it wasn't Ruprecht?
-No, Your Grace.

The jug was not broken by Ruprecht.
-Evie? Not Ruprecht?

No, Mother. Not Ruprecht. And if
I said so yesterday” "I was lying.

I'll b*at you...
-Frau Martha!

Bailiff?

Bailiff! Bailiff!

Bailiff! Throw out the accursed hag!

Why only Ruprecht? Maybe you helped
them yourself, held the lamp, eh?

Seems that the girl should know.

And I'll be damned if it wasn't
that bastard Lebrecht!

Was it Lebrecht?
-Come now, wasn't it Lebrecht, Evie?

It was Lebrecht.

You obscene man! Dirty old man!

How can you say it was Lebrecht?
-Young lady! What is this?

Is this the respect you
owe the Judge?

Respect! Judge! Him! He deserves to
stand before the court, the sinner!

He knows the culprit's name.
Didn't he send Lebrecht to the city

to Utrecht to the m*llitary Commission

With a recruitment certificate?

How can he say it was Lebrecht when
he full well knows he's in Utrecht.

Well, who else? if it isn't
Lebrecht, or Ruprecht...!

What are you up to?!

Tell us what happened.

Dearest, worthy, most gentle sir.

Forgive me, but I can't tell you
what happened.

It wasn't Ruprecht who broke the jug.

I'll swear an oath on the holy altar.

I can't tell you who broke the jug.

Sooner or later I'll confide in her

but this is not the place. She has
no right to question me on it here.

No right whatever! Upon my honor!

If she swears her oath before this
court, her mother's plaint is lost.

To the point. The question before
the court is the jug.

Proof, proof that Ruprecht broke it.

All right, Your Honor. Good.
I'll prove that Ruprecht broke my jug

then I'll go home.

Call his aunt in my defense
and I'll be content.

There in the garden, at half past ten
in the evening...

and, before the jug was broken,
she found him talking with my Eve.

Who saw me?
-Sister Briggy?

What kind of talk is that?
-You and Eve in the garden!

Call the woman.

You damn scoundrel! What have you
done? I'll break all your bones!

Why?
-Why did you keep secret that you

were in the garden with the girl at
half past ten? Why?

Why didn't I say so?

Damn and blast!
Because it's not true!

Ah yes.

If that's what my aunt says, then
hang me

and her to, by the legs!

Judge Adam, fetch Frau Bridget here.

Isn't Your Honor tired of this yet?

So long and drawn out! You have my
cash and log books still to inspect.

It is my opinion...
-That we close the court? Excellent!

That we continue.

You want to...?

Fine. As you wish.
Clerk, send the bailiff.

He should bring Frau Brigette to the
court at once.

Please take some interest
in this yourself.

We might in the meantime,
if it would please you

take a breather from the bench.

That's what wanted to say.

Give me a glass of wine in the meantime.

Wholeheartedly.
Greta! Liese! Come here!

You've made me a happy man.

We're here Judge!

Outside people! Outside!

What's your pleasure?
French, or maybe some Rhine?

From our Rhein.
-From our Rhein. Good.

Come, Grete.

The bottles with seals on, Greta.
Here. The key.

Go outside people. Out!
Until I call for you. March!

You're sending the people away?

Yes. I thought they'd leave
with your permission

Until Frau Bridget arrives.
-You mean it will take that long

until someone finds her in town?

It's wood day, Your Grace.

Most of the women are in the
woods gathering kindling.

It could be--
-No! Aunty's at home.

She'll be here at once.

Judge Adam, the wine.
But nothing to eat

but dry bread and some salt.

What's that? Dry bread? Salt?
Oh, Your Grace!

At least a little piece of Limberg

to bring out the taste in the wine.

A piece of cheese, but no more.

Butter, eggs, whole breast, ham
and swift!

And white, the damask cloth.

On the table.

Everything's bad indeed,
but now it's right.

I wanted to ask

How did you come by that
wound, Judge?

That's a nasty hole in
your head indeed!

I fell.
-You fell. I see.

When? Last night?
-Today.

Half past six. This morning.
Early.

As I stepped from my bed.
-Over what?

Over...

To tell the you the truth

Over myself. Directly, head
first, into the stove there.

Backwards?

How backwards?
-Or the front.

You have two wounds, fore and aft.

Fore and aft.
First here, then there.

First on the stove's sharp edge
that knocked in my forehead

then backwards, off the stove

I fell to the floor and hit my head.

Dangerous.

If you had a wife, I'd imagine all
sorts of fantastical things, Judge.

How's that?
-I swear

you're scratched up all over.

No, thank God!

No, not a woman's nails!

And to lose your wig today under
such circumstances.

The wig, I think, might almost have
hidden your wounds.

Yes, yes, well, evils come in pairs.

Here you are.
Butter, freshly churned.

And cheese from Limburg.

Can I?
-A small piece.

Mmm, from Limburg.
-Fresh from Limburg!

And from the fat goose breast.

Like some?
-No.

Now, how the devil did
you say it happened?

That you... that you lost
your wig?

Yes.

I sat here last night

and read a brief.
Then I misplaced my glasses.

But I was so deep in the argument

that the candle set my wig ablaze.

I thought Heaven had sent
fire on my sinful pate!

I grabbed to rip it off and throw it
from me but the bands were stuck

and up it flamed like
Sodom and Gomorrah!

I scarcely escaped with the last
three hairs on my head!

Cursed! And the other's sent to town!

Yes, with the wig-maker.

Niersteiner?
-What?

Or a good Oppenheimer?

Niersteiner. Or a good Oppenheimer.
From Nierstein or Oppenheim.

Where did you strike the sinner?
On the head, did you say?

Leave it! It's still half full!
-I'll fill it for good measure.

How many times did you hit the
sinner on the head?

Me?
-Him! Ruprecht! I'm asking you!

How often did you hit the scapegoat?

Out with it!
-With the door handle?

Twice.
-Scoundrel, he remembered.

Twice. You might have k*lled with two
such blows, you know?

If I k*lled him, at least I'd know
who it was. It's what I wanted.

If he was in front of me dead,
then I could say I wasn't lying.

Dead! Hm! I can believe it.

That's what we like, Your Grace.

What's right and good and true,
Judge Adam!

There! There comes Frau Brigitte!

Very well then, Judge Adam, let's
bring this case to a close.

Here is Frau Brigitte, Your Honor.

Is that Frau Brigitte, Judge Adam?

If that's Frau Brigitte?
-Yes it is, your Honor.

What kind of periwig has
Frau Brigitte brought to us?

Your Honor?

What kind of wig has she brought?

What?
-Pardon, sir...

Do we know to whom it belongs?

If Your Honor would have Judge Adam
question the woman, he'll learn

whose wig this is, as well as
other matters, I have no doubt.

How did the woman come to this?
Where did she find the wig?

She found it in the trellis at
Frau Martha Rull's.

Skewered like a bird's nest in
the tangled grapevines.

Directly under the window where
the girl sleeps.

What? In my trellis?

Judge Adam.

If you have anything to confide to me

I ask for the honor of the court
that you had best tell me now.

I? To you?
-No? You have nothing?

Upon my honor, sir--

This wig, is it not yours?

This wig...

Yes! It is mine!

On my soul this is the wig I gave
that fellow over there

eight days ago to bring to Master
Mehl in Utrecht.

What? To whom?
-To Ruprecht?

Me?
-Did I not give my wig to this rogue

on his way to Utrecht, entrusted
it to him

to bring to the barber to have
it restored?

Yes, well, sure, you gave it to me.

Why, then, scoundrel, did you not
deliver it to the master's workshop?

Why? Damn and blast I did give
it to the master and he took it.

So you gave it to him.

So now it hangs in Frau Martha's
grapevine? Wait, scoundrel.

You won't get out of this that easy!

I suspect some masquerading,
not to mention mutiny!

With your permission, may I question
this woman at once, Your Grace?

You say you had the wig...
-Your Honor, Tuesday last, that boy

was driving his father's ox team
to Utrecht, he asked

"Judge Adam, is there any business
I can do for you in town?"

"Yes, you can take in my wig
to be repaired, " I told him

But I didn't tell him: "Keep it for
yourself, and disguise yourself

and leave it hanging in the trellis
at Frau Martha Rull's"!

Gentlemen. Honored sirs.

By your Grace it was certainly
not Ruprecht.

Last night, when I went out to
to the farm

to my aunt, heavy with child

voices from the back of the garden

I heard Eve scold someone
hoarsely "Fie! For shame!"

"Disgusting creature! What are you
doing! Go away!”

"I'll call my mother!”

And then I called through the hedge

"Eve!" I called, "What's wrong?
What is it?"

Then it became silent.

As I was coming back from the farm

the time was around midnight.

Right when I was on the linden path
near Martha's

Whoosh, a man rushed by

bald-headed, with a horse's foot

and his wake stank

of smoke and pitch
and hair and brimstone.

I said "Old Nick"

and turned horrified to watch

and saw, my soul!

The bald head, good sirs,
in the distance

like a sparkler

lighting the linden path.

Good God!

Are you mad, Frau Briggy?
-You mean it was the devil?

My soul! I know what I
saw and smelled.

Clerk Licht can bear me witness.

If it was the devil I don't know.

The horse's foot, the
stark bald head

and the smoke, unless I'm mistaken,
that's entirely true!

Continue.
-Today when I heard, amazed

what happened at Frau Rull's

I thought maybe I could help
discover who broke the jug

So I go to look at the spot under
the trellis where he made his jump

I found, gentlemen, tracks
in the snow.

And what kind of track I found!

The right was fine and sharp
and well formed.

An ordinary man's foot.

And the left was deformed, coarse

clumsy, monstrous

a clump like a horse's foot.

It can't be true...

On my word. First, by the trellis,
where he jumped

there's a wide circle of snow that's
trodden down

like a sow wallowed there
-A sow?

And human foot, horse's foot.
Horse's foot from here

And human's foot, and horse's foot

Across the garden and
out into the world.

Gentlemen, this seems to be
in earnest.

I propose we inquire of the Synod

in the Hague whether this court is
authorized to assume

that Beelzebub broke this jug.

The answer 1 expected from you.

Your Grace will not need the Synod
to come to a judgment.

Allow Frau Brigitte to finish.
- Isay: "Your Clerkship, Mr. Licht,"

"Let's follow these tracks
for a little while, "

"to see where the Devil escaped to. "

And he says, "Good, Frau Bridget, "

"Good idea. "

"Perhaps we shouldn't go far
if we go to Justice Adam's door. "

I want to know where the tracks led!

Where? On my honor, here to you.

To us here? To this house?
-Here, I say, to Judge Adam's.

To Judge Adam's?
-Here, to me?

To you.
-How can the devil live in a Court?

I swear, I don't know if
he lives here

but I'm sure of this: He paid
a visit.

The tracks go behind here
to the threshold.

Think he passed... through?

Yes, or passed through.

Could be.
-Yes! Passed through!

I'm no honest man if there's not
something rotten in the Registry.

And if my records are in confusion

as I suspect, by my honor,
I will vouch for nothing.

Nor I. Tell me something, gentlemen.

Is there anyone in the area with
ill-shaped feet?

Indeed, here in Huisum.

So? Who?
-Your Grace, please ask the Judge.

Judge Adam?
-Not that I know!

For all I know, all's grown straight.

Stick your feet on out here!

You stick them under the desk
as if you left the tracks!

Me? The tracks? Am I the devil?

Is this a horse's foot?

If the devil had this foot he'd be
at every dance.

I told you to close this session.

The only scruple left is caused by
this here solemn instrument.

What! What solemn instrument?
-Here! This wig!

Whoever's seen a devil in this!

In this country we know but darkly

the newest fashions in Hell,
Frau Brigitte.

They say he usually wears
his own hair

but when on earth I am convinced
he throws on a wig

to mix among the well to do.

You wretch! For you to speak in
such disgrace in the Tribunal!

Only the honor of the court protects
you! Close the session!

I hope you won't
-You hope nothing! Retire now!

You believe yesterday that I, a
judge, left my wig in a grapevine?

God forbid! Your wig went up in
flames, like Sodom and Gomorrah!

No, Your Grace, yesterday evening
the cat littered in his wig.

Gentlemen! If appearances condemn
me, I must beg you not to be hasty.

I sit here upon this judge's bench
of the Court of Huisum

and I put this periwig on this table.

He who claims it's mine will be
summoned to the court in Utrecht!

But the wig fits very well indeed!
As if you'd grown it there!

Slander!
-No?

That terrible buffoon!

I'll get you! And this time you
won't throw sand in my eyes!

If you allow, now I sentence.
-Good. Do that. Decide.

Ruprecht there, that vermin
is the culprit.

I condemn his neck to an iron collar.
For indecent behavior, Your Grace

I'll throw him behind bars.
For how long I'll decide later.

Ruprecht...?
-In jail?

In irons? Him there, he's shameless!

It was him"”Judge Adam!
He broke the jug!

What? Him? Him!

I'll grab him!

Up Ruprecht!
Smash him off the bench!

Insolence! I want order!

Now it's clear!

Stop him! Stop him!

Damn and blast!

Ruprecht!
-My sacred jug!

Damn him!

Hurry, Clerk. Bring him back.

He's suspended from his post
and I assign to you

his duties until further notice,
so you can govern the village.

But if the accounts are in
order as I hope

I won't be the one to disbar him.

Go, be so kind as to bring him back!

Your Grace, if you won't help
us now we'll be lost.

Lost? How so?
-My Ruprecht!

Judge Adam said they send the new
conscripts to the East Indies.

And you know, only one in three
from there comes home alive!

What? The East Indies? Are you mad?

The troops recently drafted will
serve at home.

It wouldn't occur to anyone to send
them to the East Indies!

Sir, is that true?
-On my honor.

And if that were true for Ruprecht,
I'd buy his way out.

Come!

Little Eve, how shamefully
I insulted you today!

You're my golden girl, my bride!

Will you spend your life with me?

How that villain lied about me!
-Let's forget about old horse foot!

But if a horse had broken the jug
I'd be just as jealous as now.

Your Grace! Your Grace!
-What is it?

Where is the high court in Utrecht?

On the Great Market Square.

Wherefore?
-My jug should find justice, too.

Sessions are Tuesday and Friday.

Good! Next week I'll present
myself there.

The End.