04x09 - Tafoya Family

[bunniefuu]

Tonight on "supernanny," jo meets the tafoyas--

A family caught in the grip of violent behavior.

[Boy] oh!

The boys run wild... I like to play with g*ns.

Acting out the violent video games

They're addicted to.

Dad struggles with demons from his past

And bullies his own family. [Cries]

And mom punishes her kids with unusual methods.

That's not that bad. Are you insane?

Can jo tame these wild kids?

You're in the road. Out you come.

Can she help dad get his own behavior under control?

[Boy cries]

And in a "supernanny" first, mom walks out on jo.

The interview's over.

But will she return?

♪♪♪

♪ Be good, be good ♪

♪ Be good, be good, be good ♪

♪ Be good, be good, be good ♪

♪ Be good, be good, be good ♪ ♪ johnny ♪

♪ Be good, be good, be good ♪

♪ Be good, be good, be good ♪

♪ Be good, be good, be good ♪

♪ Be good, be good, be good ♪ ♪ johnny ♪

♪ Johnny ♪

♪♪♪

Well, it's my first time in arizona,

So why don't we take a look

And see what family I'm going to help this time?

[Both] hi. We're the tafoya family.

I'm holly. I'm jimmy.

[Holly] we have three boys. Ow!

[Jimmy] james... Who's .

[James] that felt good. Tyler...

Who's . [Tyler] what?

And ryan... Who's .

[Holly] that's not gonna get you anywhere, ryan. I am a stay-at-home mom.

Hey! Not on my furniture.

And I am a garage door technician.

[Holly] being at home with the boys

Throughout the day is very stressful.

Ryan, sit your butt on your bed now.

I feel like I'm gonna have gray hair before I'm .

Aah! [Cries]

Well, this lady's certainly got her hands full--

Three mischievous boys.

[Jimmy] james-- he's just a tornado.

He's everywhere. James is very aggressive.

[Tyler] ow!

He can lie with the best of them.

You're lying. Why are you lying to me?

Oh, looks like this one likes to lie all the time.

That's a no-no.

[Growls] tyler is a carbon copy of james.

[Screams] when they go over to their friends' house,

They have a tendency to play teen games

Or the "m" for "mature" games.

These video games are too old for them.

Ryan is twice as bad as his older brothers.

[Spits] boo!

For discipline, we do everything.

[Holly] you're inside for five minutes.no.

Sometimes I think that jimmy's a little bit too harsh.

Come on, you little bad boy. Let's go. Come on. Sit down.

That's like a prison guard. I said don't do that.

I'm trying to get them under control to--to help her,

Because she's pulling her hair out. [Crying]

See, that's what happens when you're bad.

I just want control of my kids.

I wanna learn how to be a better mom... [Boy] aw!

Because I completely and totally think

That every last bit of my kids' behavior

Has everything to do with the way

My husband and I raised them.

[Both] supernanny, please come. We're desperate.

This is serious. You guys need my help. I'm on my way.

♪♪♪

[James] who's that?

Hello. Hi.

Hi. What's your name? James.

James. Hi. Pleased to meet you.

Hi.

When I first saw jo, I thought, thank god she's here.

Hi. Nice to meet you.

When I first saw jo, I wasn't happy that she was there.

Hello. What's your name? [Jimmy] ryan.

Hi, ryan. Come and shake jo jo's hand.

Hi. Pleased to meet you. Hi. I'm jo. Pleased to meet you.

James. Jimmy. Hi.

What I am gonna do is hang out with you guys for the day

And really take some mental notes and observe

You guys as a family, okay? Sounds good to me. Come on, ryan. Let's go.

My kids are gonna run her down.

Okay, let me play for a minute, and then I'll let you play.

Okay? Yards on my first completion.

I'm gonna do it again. Watch.

[Jo] I must have been there minutes,

And one of the boys walked out of the house,

And nobody knew he was even gone.

[Jimmy] you don't even know how to play! What are you doing?

I'm trying to tackle. Why don't you wait for the ball snap?

[Jo] so I stepped outside...

And saw that he was getting into his red car

To go on the road, around to his friend's house.

You're in the road. Out you come.

It--it's crazy.

The car was on the road,

And this little boy here was on the road.

Why are you out here on your own?

Who said you can be out here on your own?

I brought tyler indoors

So I could bring this to mom's attention.

So I just want to ask this question.

Is it something that they do, that they go out and they play?mm-hmm.

Okay. Yeah, they--i let 'em go outside by themselves all the--

Not ryan, but the other two. Right, right.

These kids are allowed outside the house,

To roam where they want to.

They just can't take for granted that their kids are okay,

And they're gonna be fine. What are they thinking?

It's sad, but in today's world,

Kids are not always safe in their own neighborhood.

So when the kids decided to play video games

At a neighbor's house,

And mom and dad didn't really care,

It was up to me to keep them out of harm's way.

[Lasers f*ring on video game]

Hi-ya!

James likes to go to his friend's house,

And tyler often follows along,

And they'll play games that they're not supposed to play.

Let me see. Let me see. Let me see that.

This one's got "t" written on it. It says "t."

It says "violent." What's it mean when they say "v*olence"?

When they say "violent," it's not really violent.

They're just trying to get you not to play it.

He's lying.

In video games, you race, sh**t,

And, um, tackle.

You pop 'em in the head.

[Laughs]

Really, you do.

What do you think "+" means?

You gotta be and under. Well, it's a "plus."

"+" So you're too young then.

No, and under. For and under?

I knew that james knew what some of the ratings meant,

But definitely not some of the others,

And this really did have me concerned.

Well, this one's got "m" on it.

It was "m"-rated for "mature."

Mature's very, very,very hard game.

Right, right.

These kids are years old,

And yet they're playing video games

That are for teen, + and "m" for "mature."

You wouldn't want kids this young

Watching an "r" rated movie.

Aah![Laughs]

This is a scary thing, and you know, parents have

Got to be in control of this and get a grip. I'll k*ll you. Better run.

[Grunts] [imitates g*n cocking] pow!

♪♪♪

[Jimmy] hey! You wanna go in the corner?

[Jo] after we got home, the kids were mimicking

The video games they were playing.

[g*n clicking]

I like to play with g*ns.

[g*n clicking]

They like to reenact the v*olence.

Put your finger like this and sh**t.

We're seeing kids behave like they're in these video games,

Holding up toy g*ns,

Wanting to point it at other children's heads

And wanting to k*ll people.

[g*n clicks] see?

And that influence is not a positive one at all.

Ow!

The boys were aggressive,

But I knew that the video games had contributed towards that.

But I knew there must be other underlying reasons

For their behavior.

I'm gonna walk upstairs to make sure you go to the bathroom.

[Jimmy] if you don't go to the bathroom,

I'm gonna b*at your ass. Watch.

Coming up on...

Shut up and eat. Jo witnesses some disturbing behavior.

Oh, you threw it at me. So now how the hell you gonna get it?

[Cries]

And later, mom storms out on jo... The interview's over.

When "supernanny" returns.

♪ Be good, be good ♪

After watching the boys play video games

For five out of the seven hours I had been there,

Of course, the older boys started fighting.

But this time, dad was watching, too.

You didn't push him? Did you push him?

He threw him--come on. Let's go. Let's go in the corner.

Let's go. I'm tired of you guys.

James has a very big problem with lying.

He lies to cover up a lie thatis a lie.

[Jimmy] no, you got yourself in trouble.

Don't blame somebody for your bad mistakes. I didn't push him.

I watched you push him. I want to, with all my heart, trust him,

But his past record is not good. I saw you do it.

I don't know why I lie. I just do.

So mom and dad were telling me

That sometimes when they ask you things,

You don't always tell the truth. Why is that?

I just don't think right.

I don't-- I really don't think right.

That's what mom and dad say about you, don't they?

What do you think?

They're right. I don't really think right.

It was sad to hear james say that he doesn't think right,

Which proves that parents have really gotta be careful

With labeling their kids,

Because it can damage their self-esteem.

♪♪♪

Jimmy, that's disgusting and rude. That's not your plate.

Are you gonna use that fork? [Ryan] yeah.

Don't do that. Shut up and eat.

He's gotten louder and louder and louder every year...

But you didn't know I was eating.

You didn't know I was eating, right? [James] no, but i--

I was sitting right where? I haven't sat down yet.

And I think I'm a little hard of hearing now.

You're gonna use that fork? I don't want to.

[Crying]

[Holly] ryan. [Tyler] is there leftover ice cream?

Feel better? Are you done? Jimmy's very intolerant of behavior,

Impatient,

Angry,

Aggressive.

And to watch that, it's very ugly.

It's very, very ugly.

[Silverware clanks]

[Slap]

Oh, you threw it at me. So now how the hell you gonna get it?

I was getting more frustrated 'cause he wouldn't eat his food.

Then you better eat your food. I'll throw [bleep] away.

He threw a fork at me, so my initial reaction

Was I turned over, and I donked him on the head with the fork.

It was a plastic fork. It didn't hurt him. You do it.

Jimmy's behavior was so appalling,

I didn't want to wait until the parents meeting,

So I sat him down straightaway and confronted him.

[Jo] tired?

[Jimmy] yeah, I'm tired.

Tonight was terrible for you.

Yeah, I didn't like tonight at all. Because...

They just don't listen. You know what I mean?

I feel like I'm not-- I'm not succeeding

At what I'm trying at, and I don't like that.

How important is it for you

That you have a relationship with your boys?

That's very important,

'Cause when I was grew up, I was never given the chance

To know my father until I was .

Do you want to be and deal with things

With your boys that your dad never did with you?

Yes.

You didn't really have a role model, did you, really?

How important is it that your boys have that?

Hmm?

It's very important. [Sighs]

You're still hurting, aren't you?

Hmm? Can I give you a hug?

Because you may be a big bloke, but let me tell you,

You're still hurting, huh? You're still hurting.

Hmm?

I want my kids to have what I didn't have,

But yet, I'm not really giving it to 'em.

But I'm trying.

We're gonna work through this.

You just get angry. You're angry.

You're sad, and everything, right?

Yeah. Will you allow me to help you that way?

Yeah?

I want to be able to get under the fact that he's trust me

To be very open about his own feelings

And to help him process that, so he can get on with being

The father that he wants to be to his three boys.

After speaking to jimmy,

It was time to sit down with both the parents

To talk about all the issues that needed to be resolved.

Let's talk about your family.

If the points we do go on to talk about

Are not fixed,

You are going to get that : a.m. Phone call

From the police, and that's really serious.

The first thing that I want to talk to the pair of you about

Is irresponsible supervision.

I walked into this house,

Said hello to the pair of you,

And within about minutes,

Your kids were outside the house,

And you didn't even realize where they were.

You know, where--where are you both?

These kids are your responsibility.

I mean, it's not a busy street. You know what I mean?

I-i don't see a problem with it.

I'll tell you one thing.

You're lucky that your kids haven't been hit by a car.

That's fatal. Right, no.

I get that if they get hit by a car, it's fatal.

I get that, but I know-- not enough. Not enough,

Because if you did get it, holly, your kid wouldn't be out.

The second thing that I want to talk about

Is the video games.

Who is responsible here for allowing the kids to play

The adult video games that they're playing?

We try and prevent it, but I can't just knock

On all the people's doors, you know, that he plays at

And be like, "hey, you know what?

My kid's not allowed to play 'x,' 'y,' 'z.'" Why?

I don't feel like I could tell those parents what to do.

Why? With your kid? I-i don't feel I could say...

With your kids. With your kid. Yeah.

The video games that he's playing are violent.

They use strong language.

We've got, then, the boys coming back

And mimicking that behavior,

Pointing g*ns everywhere.

Seriously, tell me what you're both gonna say

When you're standing up in court

Because your -year-old thought it was fun to--

As he would put it-- "bang, bang" somebody else.

Right? It's your responsibility to look after your kids.

Don't make your kids society's problem.

Understand what I'm saying. Mm-hmm.

Let's--let's talk about the next thing here.

The hitting, the punching-- it's got to stop.

I don't pop the kids in the mouth that much,

But I don't think so. I don't--

Excuse me. Sorry. That much? That much?

So because you gave birth to your own kids,

You think that you're warranted to be able to do that?

That's okay for you to pop your kids in the mouth

And treat them that way from their own parents,

And then you wonder

Why they end up hitting other kids in the mouth.

How are we being good role models when we choose

To cuss at the kids, to not follow through on discipline?

How--how are we showing?

We're not. We're not.

I mean, jimmy, seriously, if you could watch yourself,

You're like a prison guard--

The way that you talk to the boys.

You're mean-spirited with the boys,

And you're underneath. That is not you.

Underneath, you want to be able to reach out to them,

But you're not gonna do it

By the way that you communicate with your kids.

Now I'm here to support you

And to give you advice and techniques

And being able to do that,

But I can't find the strength that you're gonna need.

So are we gonna get on and do some work,

Or are we gonna sit back and still think about this? No, I'm ready to do the work.

Yeah? Okay. I'm ready.

You're ready?mm-hmm.

All right, so enough with the talk,

'Cause I wanna see some action.

Coming up on...

[Boy] great. Mom and dad lay down the law.

I can't even play my favorite games.

Open.

And later, jo is appalled by mom's unusual use for soap,

When "supernanny" returns.

♪ Be good, be good ♪

♪♪♪

Unfortunately, dad was at work

When I arrived the next day to teach the tafoyas,

And mom usually spends most of her time with the kids,

I had her set down the ground rules.

This is something that you guys need.

This is about her taking charge

And really being a disciplinarian

That she's going to need to be when she's at home.

Now these rules are for the house.

If you guys choose to break these rules,

There are gonna be serious consequences.

What you're gonna do, holly, is fill in those rules.

So our first rule is gonna be what?

Not lie and wise off and talk back.

So you--you said "lie." So no lying.

The most important rule for me is the no lying.

Can they be specific,

Like don't go outside without asking?

Of course. It's your rules.

Okay, next one.

How about no nasty words?

How about that?

How about no talking back?

I'm hoping that holly will do really well.

Now she has wrote down the house rules for the kids.

Is there any questions about any of these rules? No, thank you.

So you understand all of them?yeah!

Okay.

The kids know what the rules are now.

There are no excuses for them not to follow 'em.

They're well aware of what's on the board.

[Jo] with the rules established, it's now important

For me to teach mom the naughty step technique,

So she can properly enforce the rules she's just set up.

Come down to a child's level and give them a warning.

If they continue, you take them onto the naughty step,

And you explain why you've placed them there

For one minute per their year.

If they get up, you place them back.

Once they have done that, you go back and you explain again

Why you've put them on the naughty step,

And then you tell them, "I want you to say you're sorry."

Holly feels that the littlest one, ryan, is the most trouble.

So after I taught her how to use discipline correctly,

We sent them all to a ceramics studio

To put mom to the test.

Mommy.don't drop that. It will break. Put 'em on the table.

I was really stressed out. I was worried what they were gonna do,

What they were gonna say, how I was gonna control them.

No.

Ryan, mommy said no.

Listen to me. If you don't stop touching,

You're gonna go on the naughty step, okay?

Ryan!

And ryan proved to be quite a handful,

And mom had got more than she had bargained for

Just to keep up with him.

No. [Ceramic shatters]

I...

Ryan, mommy told you not to touch, and you touched.

Now you're gonna sit on the naughty step.

[Jo] all right. That's what I'm talking about.

This is the naughty step. Come down. Sit down. Do the technique properly.

You stay here. All right, you've stepped up. You've become more assertive.

You're taking charge now,

Which is important for the kids to see that.

I learned that I could take the kids out in public.

Before jo came,

I would not have taken them by myself. Now I will.

[Crying]

Okay, ryan, mommy put you

On the naughty step for not listening.

Say, "I'm sorry."

Say, "I'm sorry."

Okay, give me a hug and a kiss.

Mom's doing a really good job at managing ryan,

But ryan's always going to want to imitate james and tyler,

So I need to come up with an exercise

That's going to allow them to behave better.

The first thing we're gonna do

Is we're gonna put on our climbing harnesses. When I first saw the wall,

I'm like, "oh, my gosh. How am I gonna climb this?"

So teamwork-- teamwork allows us to do what?

Accomplish lots of things. We can do as much

As we can by ourselves, but if we work well as a team,

We can do a lot more. So I've come up with an exercise for james and tyler

That's going to help them work as a tag team. All right, we're good to go.

Their legs are gonna be tied together,

So climbing this wall is definitely going to be

A joint effort. You guys are gonna have to work together

To get to the top. You see? Look at that.

You can't go until he's ready to go, too.

[Mike laughs]

To the top you go, guys.

[Holly] you guys look like professionals.

♪♪♪

Use your feet. Take your feet with you. Hold on, james.

You gotta watch for your brother.

Check each other. See where you're at.

When the boys were climbing the rock wall

And their feet were linked together,

I was kind of in awe.

[Mike] good job. [Holly] there you go.

Good job you guys are doing. Oh, my goodness. [Jo] good, huh?

[Holly] look at them. Good footwork there.

These boys--

They've built confidence and healthy self-esteem,

And they start to make choices that are the right choices,

Not the ones that get them into trouble.

They worked really well together.

They weren't criticizing each other.

They weren't trying to kick each other off the rock wall.

They actually helped each other. All right!

[Man] whoo! Yeah! You guys did it!

Tyler and james did really good teamwork,

And I was proud of them.

I felt very, very, very good

When I reached the top with my brother.

Whoa! Ahh! Okeydokey.

[Man] good job. [Tyler] that's better.

[Man] that was awesome. Good job.

Coming up on...

He always wants to work.

James tells jo exactly how he feels about his dad.

He cares more about money than he does of us.

And in a "supernanny" first,

Mom tries to kick jo out of the house...

But as far as I'm concerned, you can leave.

When "supernanny" returns.

♪ Be good, be good ♪

♪♪♪

[Jo] the next thing I needed to do was to educate this family

About the video games ratings system.

Only % of kids say that their parents

Have any rules about the video games they can play,

So this is information that a lot of families need to hear.

Lesson today-- game ratings.

All right?

What does "e" mean? Everyone?

Next one. "E-- and up."

You have to be , but you can't be under to play those.

I didn't know that there was a "e"-- and up.

I thought that that any "e" game was suitable for my kids.

What's that one there? Teenagers. And up.

What's this one? "M" for "mature," meaning a game not found in our house.

I played an "m" game before, but I don't anymore.

What was the "m" game like?

sh**ting, cussing, robbing and k*lling.

James, which is the best one to play?

I want to play one teen game. It's not even bad.

Let him read the back of "t." Read the back of "t."

Okay, so does that sound like

Something that you should be playing?

Do we want any of these things in our house?

[James] it's just a game.

But it's not when you act it out.

Learning about the video game ratings

Has made mom and dad realize

They need to pack up those teen games right away,

And when james, their eldest son,

Realized what that meant, he started to get upset.

Okay, sothis should have a big red "x" over it,

'Cause it'snot allowed in our house,

Nor are you allowed to play it at anyone else's house,

So why don't you pick some... Oh, great.

That you think are allowed here in this house?

When jo showed me the ratings for the video games,

I didn't really like it, 'cause I used to be able

To play some games, but now I can't!

"T" for "teen" is out. [Whines] why?

All the fun games are gone.

I can't even play my favorite game.

You only got a couple years. It'll fly by, I promise you.

Before you know it, you'll be

And wishing you were again, okay?

I-i feel that, you know, a lot of kids get

Exposed to so much so early,

But whilst we are in our own homes

And we have communication

With our neighbors and our friends,

You know, we can do as much as we possibly can

To control that situation.

♪♪♪

Ultimately, parents are responsible

For the video games their kids play,

Whether that's at a neighbor's house

Or in their own home,

So when holly told me that she really didn't know

How to discuss the video games with her neighbor,

I took the liberty to invite her into her own home

So we could discuss this straightaway. Hi.

What you decide to do with your child

Is one thing. What you decide to do with your child

Is one thing, so how do we clear that up

So that james can't turn around and say, "oh.

When I go around to colton's, then I can do it there."

What can the pair of you do together

To make sure that that doesn't happen?

I won't let colton play any games

That you don't want him to play. Right. Same with you guys.

Right. We won't let him play until we talk to you and jimmy.

Do you have each other's number? Not yet.

No, we don't. What's your number, laurie?

Let's do that. It's so important to be able to communicate constantly

With your neighbors,

Especially when your kids spend so much time

In each other's homes.

So the nice thing is, at least then you know

That you've got each other's support.

We're gonna converse more often so that we know

How our kids are behaving at each other's house.

♪♪♪

[Jo] after the neighbors left,

I could see that something was bothering james,

And I just really wanted to sit down

And get to the bottom of it.

James, come here. Let me talk to you for a minute.

Come here, okay? He's always gone.

He works for almost two days.

Clearly there are still issues between james and his father

That are lingering that do need to be resolved.

He's doing now what's best for you

Because he cares about you.

No, he doesn't.

Why doesn't he? Because he always wants to work.

So you think that he doesn't care about you

Because he's working all the time?

He cares more about money than he does of us.

Daddy's out earning money

So that he can pay for this house

And to make sure that you eat

And that you have the clothes that are on your back.

Talking to james really broke my heart,

And I knew that I needed to get father and son together.

If you had the chance to tell daddy how much you miss him

And how much you want to spend time with him,

Would you do that?

Mm-hmm? Okay.

♪♪♪

Dad's home!

Dad!

I felt very, very nervous

When jo said, "we should have a chat with your dad."

So I was having a good chat with james today,

And you were telling me how you were feeling.

What was some of those things that we--

That we were talking about?

I wanted him to stay home.

You said that you felt

That daddy didn't care about you, right? Yeah.

Mm-hmm. 'Cause why was that?

'Cause he always had to work.

And that he cared more about what?

Money.

And do you get much time to spend with dad? No.

So do you miss spending time with him? Yeah.

I'm not going to work to take time away from you,

By no means, but at the same time,

I have to make money to... You know, so we can live.

I felt for jimmy,

Because it's not easy to explain the reality

Of being away and making a living,

But it is important that parents do

The best that they possibly can

So the kids realize that they're not away from home

Because they don't love them.

Hey. I love you. You know that, right?

I love you, too.

I'm gonna take time every weekend,

Um, and do something-- park, go-carts, football...

Two hours for each kid every weekend,

And then at the end of the month,

I'll take all three out-- just me, them--and hang out.

All right?

♪♪♪

[Jo] after speaking to james,

Jimmyreally didn't want to waste another minute,

So he took the opportunity to take the boys outside

And play some football. When you go to catch the ball, catch it like this

And bring it to your chest. Ready?

Now bring it to your chest. Bam.

Yay! See?

You want me to try to block you?

I mean, I felt like a dad.

I was teaching my kids to catch a football.

That is something I can do every day.

You're doing good, catching like a superstar.

[Both laugh]

Playing football with my dad, um,

Was the best thing jo could have done for us.

We'll start doing this some more, okay? Sound fun?

All right. Good. I had a good time, guys.

There's a calmness that overcomes jimmy.

You can see it on his face when he's playing with his boys,

And the more time he takes to spend time with his boys,

The less time he's gonna become angry and frustrated.

When these boys grow up, they'll be able to say,

"Yeah, dad taught me how to do my first throw and my kick."

That's all the stuff you didn't have, right? Right.

I mean, that's what it's all about. Right.

Even though jimmy didn't have a father figure himself

As he was growing up, he does truly know

The importance of being a father to his own boys,

And he's making great strides

At becoming a better father himself.

Yeah, we learned to catch, didn't we?

♪♪♪

I'm going away for a few days. I will be watching.

[Holly] I really think that my boys are gonna see

Exactly how much they can get away with.

Give us a hug, please. [Kisses] see ya soon.

[Jimmy] I'm a little nervous.

I hope that, uh, the techniques that we've been taught work.

See you when I get back. [Holly] all right. Bye.

I hope that they seriously take on board

What they've been taught

And that they implement it while I'm away. We shall see.

Coming up on...

What did I just say to you?

Holly gives james an unusual punishment,

And when jo confronts her, the sparks fly.

Are you insane? That's [bleep].

When "supernanny" returns.

♪ Be good, be good ♪

♪♪♪

[Jo] the video game situation had definitely

Been sorted out before I left,

But I was still curious to see whether they would be tempted

To get out those video games whilst I was away.

So how ready are we to take a look at this? Anxious. Nervous.

I wanna see it so it gets over with. Well, let's take a look.

What's this one?

[James] rated "c"-- early childhood.

Early childhood. Can we play this one? Yes.

Why?

Because it's, uh, it's for kids,

And only kids can play it.

What's this one?

"M"--mature for adults. Why?

Can't play it, 'cause there's bad language and sh**ting.

Any ones on this wall you can't play anywhere,

No matter what.

Good stuff.

You had the information yourself.

You educated yourself. You educated your kids.

You placed the ones that they could up on the wall.

It's knowledge. Everybody knows now.

Everyone's clued up,

So I wanna take a look at the next clip here,

And this is all about james lying and his behavior.

♪♪♪

You're in trouble.

Did you leave the backyard?

No.

You didn't leave the backyard?nope.

Are you sure? Did you go outside the fence? No.

You didn't go outside the gate? No.

You didn't jump the fence? No.

Tyler. [Tyler] yeah?

Is your brother lying to me? No.

All right.

No! I just went over there!

[Holly] the first time when I asked you,

How long were you over there? Not that long?

So you didjump the fence before,

And you lied to me when I asked you.

Well, you just told me you weren't over there very long.

You just admitted yourself that you jumped that fence-- oh!

Di--no... I just--

No, not backtracking. You lied...

I didn't know what you meant!and i--

Uh, I can tell when james is lying.

All I have to do is look at his face. Uh-huh.

He--he gets, uh, a lost look. All right. Okay, so i-i've got to pose a question to you.

Did you know at that point he lied? I thought he lied, but...

You--you thought he lied. She wasn't confident that he lied.

I wasn't completely % sure. Why don't you trust your instinct?

I hate to call him a liar if he's not lying.

I don't want to do that to him. But youknew he was lying.

Yep.

[Clicks button]

What did I just say to you?

[James] no nasty words.

And what did you do?

Said a nasty word. Right. You're eating soap. Let's go.

[Water running]

Open.

Are you insane?

You've just put a toxin into your child's mouth.

Just a little bit. I didn't even do a whole pump.

Why--why would you think that

That's okay for you to do that to your kids? That's not that bad.

What satisfaction didyou get? He st--he stopped the behavior that I wanted him to stop.

What feel-good feeling did you have?

I-i really--i honestly don't see the severity in it.

I really, really genuinely don't.

Oh, well, if you don't...

[Laughing] she's gonna show me the labels.

If you don't,

I suppose it's all right to eat then, is it?

No. Not for me. If it tastes disgusting,

He's not gonna want to do it again, and he didn't.

I think it's sad that you're at a point

Where you feel that you need to turn to chemicals

To have your children respect you as their mother.

It hasn't worked in teaching your child

The value of respect and what you don't want.

You were not giving me respect by saying nasty words--

Oh, so--oh, so uncondi-- that unconditional love, then.

So it's-- it's love on your terms.

Okay, wait. Hold-- hold the boat.

So they get respect one day,

And they get respect another day. Is that the same?

Me putting soap-- that's [bleep].

Thanks. You don't want me putting soap in my kid's mouth--

How's that respect? How is that respect? Has [bleep] to do with it.

No. As far as I'm concerned, you can leave, all right? How is that respect?

No. [Bleep]. How is this respect, holly?

I don't think so. The interview's over.

How is this respect, holly?

Coming up on...

[Holly] I'm not sitting down with her. Will mom come back inside,

Or has jo seen the last of her?

I don't [bleep] wanna learn anything else from her.

When "supernanny" returns.

♪ Be good, be good ♪

Me putting soap, that's-- [jo] after I'd confronted holly

About putting liquid soap in her boy's mouth,

She stormed out in a rage.

The interview's over.

How is this respect, holly?

And jimmy had to go outside to convince her to come back in.

I'm not sitting down with her.

She's not gonna say anything.

No.

When I got up and walked away from the table,

I was completely disgusted,

And I could not believe that she said that--

That iconditionally loved my kids.

If I wanna put soap in his damn mouth,

A tiny bit-- a dime-sized thing...

I'm not the-- why are you--

You don't have to plead your case to me.

I didn't think that she could say anything else

That was gonna help me in any way, shape or form.

I'm not finishing the interview,

And I'm not doing her learning lessons with her,

Because I don't [bleep] wanna learn anything else from her.

If you don't want to do it, then you don't want to do it.

That's fine.

There's not a damn thing I can do about it.

I just took the whole day off for what?

When I walked out, I was done.

I felt that shecompletely overstepped her bounds,

But when it came down to it,

I still had a couple unanswered questions for jo

That, you know, I wanted answers for.

♪♪♪

So I gather we're here 'cause we want to be back here? Mm-hmm.

Yeah?

Once holly came back,

I realized I'd made my point about the soap,

So I decided to close the dvd meeting and move on.

The stuff that definitely needs improving

Is the stuff that I want to work on the pair of you with today.

Holly, are you up for working with me and continuing?

Mm-hmm. Great.

Work to be done, okay?

And, uh, I think we should get going

On some more work, right? Okay.

Okay.

Holly still needed to learn that what I'd already taught her

Wasbetter than her using soap,

So I really needed to sit and talk to her.

Give us a hug. Give us a hug. Come along. Give us a hug.

What have you learnt from me?

That I need to be more nurturing,

But firm when I need to be

And not to yell

And not put soap in the kids' mouth. [Laughs]

All right. Okay.

♪♪♪

As I was talking to holly about how unnecessary it is

To put soap in a child's mouth...

Hold on. James. [James] what?

Come here. Come here. Come right down here now.

James gave me the perfect opportunity

To be able to teach her exactly that.

Did you just go in that closet that I told you not to go in

And get another balloon?

I didn't get th-- this balloon. I-i--

Were you in that closet? No, I wasn't.

You weren't in it?

I watched you walk out of that closet.

The door's still open.

Naughty step.

[Holly] james knows that he is not supposed

To be in the cupboards in the bathroom.

He lied to me, so I went ahead

And I put him on the naughty step. You lied to me...

But-- and I want you to sit here and think about why you do that,

And why you just did it and came out here and lied to me. I-i lied--

I don't wanna hear it. I don't wanna hear it.

Don't look. Don't look over. Don't look over.

Aah!

Aah!

I didn't think that there was anything else

That she could tell me that was going to benefit me.

I was wrong.

She showed me the naughty step again,

Told me exactly what I was doing wrong and why...

...and say, "this is me being the authority person here,

Being the disciplinarian." [Belches]

Ignore that-- just for attention.

Holly listened to my advice, and she ignored

James' attempt to get her attention...

And eventually, he gave up.

Do you know why I put you here?

'Cause I lied.

Right. You know that that's one of the house rules,

James, and we've been going through this a lot.

Look at me. Look at me. Look at me.

Don't lie to me anymore.

I'm proud of holly for listening to my advice

And doing discipline correctly with james.

Tell me you're sorry. Sorry.

Do you mean it? Yes.

All right. [Kisses] I love you.

When he apologized to me instead of denying it,

That made me feel really good.

♪♪♪

The tafoyas have definitely made a lot of progress,

And it has allowed me to realize

That I can allow them to continue using

The techniques on their own.

Jo jo's going now. [Jimmy] when I first saw jo when she walked into my house,

In her little suit and her little glasses

With her little briefcase, I was like,

"Okay. Yeah, have fun, lady."

You're not too old for a big hug. Come here.

She showed me how to be a better role model.

I learned to keep my composure,

Stay calm and just respond, not react.

Now give me a hug. Take care of your family, all right?okay.

[Holly] I've known him a long time, and he's different.

He's different.

Keep up your work together...

[Jo] jimmy and holly have certainly come a long way

In growing up and maturing

Throughout the time that I've been there.

Bye, jo jo. Blow kisses. Say, "bye, jo jo."

[Holly] I was thankful for what she did teach me,

And I'll take that with me. [Taylor] bye, jo jo.

Bye, darling. Bye-bye. Blow kisses.

They're certainly on the right track

To being the good examples that their children need.

♪♪♪

Put you on my shoulders? [Jimmy] from this whole experience,

The thing that I've learned for my kids

Is that they need more time from me, plain and simple.

Bottom line. You steer. I got the gas. We're good.

The change I'm seeing in holly--

The boys-- they listen to her now.

I'm ecstatic about that.

[Holly] I think that I have more knowledge

Of how to be a better parent, um, than before jo got here.

I feel like with the techniques that I have,

I'm more nurturing now.

Ready? Okay.

Before, I used to yell and scream, but now I just talk.

I talk.

Come on, james. Throw it to mom.

Would you stop doing that?

You're a foot taller than me.

I'm really excited about my family's future

And where we're headed.

The future is bright.

Ready?

Go.

♪♪♪

Good job.

That's cool.

Here we go.

Ooh.

♪♪♪

Whee.

Whoo! [Jimmy] all right.

[James] look out! Mom's at the top.

I did it. Whoo!

[Holly] aw, you got mashed potatoes on the blinds?

[Jimmy] good job, tyler. You ready? Swing! Oh, you got it!