05x17 - The Del Re Family

[bunniefuu]

No, no! Oh, my gosh!

Tonight on "supernanny," jo visits a new york city cop

Whose kids think they're above the law.

Oh, and she's decided to be defiant and go for a pee.

Dad can't leave the job behind...

Look at me. And treats his kids like criminals...

Now play with this thing,

And you stop acting like a little animal.

While mom can't enforce the rules... Peter, no biting.

And it's driving her to tears.

Oh, girl, we're not backing out now.

Will jo restore law and order?

Time-out for you. Can dad stop playing the bad cop?

And you know how stupid you are?

Or will these kids need to be locked up?

Beautiful-- [gasps]

♪♪

♪♪

So there's a family in staten island, new york,

That need my help.

We better take a look.

Hi. We're the del re family from staten island, new york.

My name is adele. My name is joe,

And we have three children--

Peter and deanna, who are -year-old twins,

And clarissa, who's years old.

Peter, where are you going?

Do you want to go sit in your room?

I'm a stay-at-home mom.

[Crying] [crying]

Sit down. [Yells]

[Adele] I don't get a break. Sit down!

I have really no time for myself.

No, no! Oh, my gosh!

And I find it very, very difficult.

[Adele] hey, no!

I'm a detective in law enforcement,

And my hours are really, really crazy.

Now play with this thing,

And you stop acting like a little animal.

The stress of the jobs are very, very high.

Up here. Get up. Sit right the right way.

You want it? You come--come to me, and I'll give it to you.

[Joe] sometimes, I don't get to de-stress

Coming through that door,

And I find myself getting very, very upset.

Where you gonna go by yourself? You gonna go by yourself?

I'm not playing anymore. You sit right here.

What does this dad think, he's still at work?

[Screaming]

Deanna's biggest issue is she's extremely defiant.

Let's go. No!

She's very, very stubborn.

[Whines]

She doesn't give in.

[Whines]

She wants what she wants.

You want a laptop?

And she's not gonna take no for an answer.

You know, I deal with psychos out there

Better than I deal with her. [Screams]

Hands down, she's just nuts.

[Gasps] [crying]

Peter has a very difficult time

Dealing with the word "no."

[Groaning]peter!

No! No!

[Adele] he immediately throws himself into a tantrum

And will even come at me and hit me.

Come on. Peter definitely takes advantage of his mom.

Come on. Yes. Come on.

We have two ways of parenting.

[Crying] mommy.

I'll take that game and throw it right out, you understand?

I'll throw it right in the garbage.

Oh, you're so tired. [Crying]

This is all you want? That's all you're gonna have.

You guys need to talk.

There needs to be some compromise.

Clarissa is a wonderful, wonderful child.

He was like this.

Party?

[Adele] although she loves her brother and sister,

I find that she does harvest some resentment.

She feels that, um, she doesn't get

All the attention that she so desires.

The twins monopolize a lot of my attention,

And clarissa can get overlooked.

Good old clarissa--look, helping out, helping out,

But who's spending time with clarissa?

You do not throw things! [Crying]

I'm going upstairs. You guys can play. Why?

Right now I feel there's five different people in this house.

[Adele] no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

And I want to try to get those five people together...

Give it to mommy. No.

And just become one.

How do you think I feel?

Well, supernanny, civilians call cops.

You got one cop calling you. [Screaming] no!

[Both] supernanny, please come help our family.

Looks like it's a -- in staten island.

I'm on my way.

[Doorbell rings]

Hello. Jo frost. Hello. Nice to meet you.

Hello. Adele del re. How are you?

Very well, thank you. Please come in.

I quickly realized why the kids don't listen to mom.

She gives in to their temper tantrum

And appeases them on every level.

[Clarissa] they don't want it.

You're gonna get hurt in here, do you know that?

You can get hurt in here.

There's a lot of things in here.

Okay, so you just want to stay there? Okay.

I want to put a belt in--in my--in my feet.

On your leg like daddy?

I-i don't have anything

That's gonna keep it there right now, sweetie.

You know that? [Peter screams]

[Crying] calm down.

All right. Let's see. What--what do you want to do?

Do you want to--you want to put it on your leg?

Should we figure out a way to put it on your leg?

[Crying] yeah? Okay.

I mean, is this--is this what you would normally do?

Is just you would say yes to stop the...

This?um, yeah. Um, sometimes.

The problem is giving into bad behavior

Takes away all your authority

So that you can never say no.

[Whining] I want to go outside.

Peter, we're gonna have lunch,

And we're gonna go outside after lunch, okay?

All right, honey? [Whining]

Listen to me. We will go out after lunch, okay?

No. Yes.

Peter, we're gonna have lunch,

And then we'll go outside and play.

Peter, we don't hit. We don't hit. No!

Peter, no biting!

[Crying] do you--do--do you want a time-out?

You know what?

Maybe--maybe-- maybe that's what you need.

When peter threw his tantrum, I was mortified

That this is my child that is doing this to me.

[Adele] you don't hit mommy, okay? [Peter crying]

You're in a time-out. No!

No!

Listen to me.[Crying]

Listen to me. You don't hit mommy. You-- [screaming]

There are times when peter can become so enraged,

And this is how it comes out.

[Crying] sit. Listen to me.

[Screaming]

[Jo] mom's time-out with peter wasn't effective

Because she was trying to reason with him.

Can you stop crying?

And actually, I don't really think

She knows how to do a proper time-out anyway.

So can you define "time-out" in your household?

It's for calming and for reasoning

And for--also for disciplining if i--

So it's kind of all in one, is that what you're saying? I guess.

I--you know, i-i guess much of the time

When my normal routine

Is--it's--it's-- I become overwhelmed.

You sit down. [Screaming] no!

I saw how mom handled the kids,

And I certainly was eager to see how dad would handle the kids

When he got home from work.

Daddy. What's up, pal?

Hi. Hi.

Hi. Pleased to meet you. Jo frost. Nice to meet you.

Joe. How are you? Nice to meet you.

Hi. Hi. Yeah, very well, thank you.

[Jo] when dad got home from work,

He started to play with the kids,

And that was really nice to see.

But clarissa, the oldest one who's years old,

Brought up to her dad about going to summer camp,

And that didn't go down too well.

You would love--you would love to do it? Why?

But give me why.

I-i just want to know what-- what is it that you want

That you got to-- well, summer camp--because a lot of my friends go.

And what camps did they go to?

You're telling me that you want to experience

All this fun stuff, but meanwhile,

You're telling me the same other sentence

Is that you don't even know what camp they went to.

They don't talk about the name of the camp.

They just say what they did at the camp.

So this is just you talking out of-- dad, I don't know.

Dad didn't seem like he was talking to his daughter.

He seemed like he was interrogating a suspect.

Can--can you relate to anything

She's saying as a child?

I just see it--i just--i feel that there's deception there.

You feel that there's deception? Yeah.

I think it's really weird

That dad thinks clarissa is being really deceptive,

When actually, it's a -year-old girl

Asking if she can go to summer camp.

So you don't believe that the real reasons

She would want to go to summer camp

Would be to experience what other people experience?

Well, if she's looking at me,

I want to know where this is coming from.

I guess I'm not the average dad,

And I always look-- i-i'm very fearful.

If she gets together with maybe three or four of her friends

Who I don't know...right.

And they have a different way of dealing with certain things

Or maybe, like, challenging each other...

But I'm--i'm curious

As to where really kids would be

That wouldn't have supervision.

I still don't trust nobody.

[Jo] dad's a police officer,

And yes, he sees some awful things.

And I believe that that has scarred him slightly

On how he deals with his children,

'Cause he doesn't have much trust.

Now put that down, peter. [Screaming]

[Joe] he's in rare form lately.

You can--we're gonna-- excuse me.

Excuse me. Peter. What does he-- what does he want?

He wants an apple.

We're gonna have dinner now, sweetie. No!

But we're gonna have dinner,

And then you can have it after. No!

Just give me one second.

Just give me-- give me on second. Why?

Dad jumped in, and he started to discipline peter,

But he's got to realize

He can't be a police officer when he's at home.

Listen to me. Look at me.

Look at me.stop.

Do you understand me?

I'm talking to you.

I yell a lot.

Um, it's something I don't want to do.

Now you go down,

And you go tell your mother that you're sorry.

When he address the children,

It's probably much in the way he addresses people at work.

It hurts me. It hurts me to see that.

Stop it. Look at me.

Mom's got no authority.

Dad's too aggressive with his authority.

And if these parents don't meet in the middle,

They'll really mix up their kids' heads.

Look at me.

Coming up on "supernanny,"

Dad interrogates his daughter and goes too far.

And you know how stupid you are?

The tables turn when it's jo asking the questions...

You walk into the house with the militant attitude

That you deal with outside.

When "supernanny" returns.

When dinner rolled around for the del re family,

Dad was still on duty as a police officer

Because he was still interrogating clarissa.

Finish your potatoes, tush. Mom, you know what,

Um, someone dared me to do at lunch?

Drink ketchup out of a packet, and I did it. Oh.

Oh, it was so good. I love ketchup so much. What hap--

Wait a minute. Hold on a second.

Didn't somebody just dare you to do something?

No, I did it myself. And what did you do?

No, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I say, "hey, guys"--

I know what I heard. They said what to you? You just said somebody--

"We dare you." They said they-- they dared you to do it?

That's unbelieveable how s--how you--

And you did it, right?

And you--and you did it.yeah.

That's pretty cool. Thank you.

That's pretty cool. Thank you, dad.

And you know how stupid you are? Oh.

I was just-- oh, my goodness.

I just wanted to leap out of my seat.

It's like, you don't call your daughter stupid.

I just thought, you know, it's--it's a ketchup packet.

Yeah, now you're gonna-- now again--see?

Why are you doing that? I just think you could use a different word.

No, that's just idiotic. That's stupid.

That's stupid. In my-- t-t-that's me. It's stupid. You know what?

She could have--listen, maybe her judgment was off. That's stupid. No.

And that's a better way of putting it. [Peter] mom. Mom!

You know what? Her judgment was off on a packet of ketchup.

I couldn't believe what I was hearing.

Not only did dad overreact to clarissa's story,

But he continued to interrogate clarissa

Like she was a suspect.

See, and then you talk about trust

And you talk about you want to go to these camps

And stuff like that, and what did you just do?

You had somebody-- dad, I did that once.

Once, and it was a packet of ketchup.

[Jo] dad asked me to come and help,

And now it seems like he's putting up a brick wall.

And before I leave, I need to know that he's on board.

So you asked for my help, but you have a trust issue,

And in order for me to help you guys,

You need to be able to trust me.

Well, I guess I'll, uh, do something

That goes against every grain I have.

I only have, uh, my last-- it's my last sh*t.

It goes against everything i...

I do, so...

I'll trust you to help my family.

Good man. I'll see you tomorrow morning.

Tomorrow morning. Tomorrow morning,

'Cause we will need to have a serious family meeting.

Okay.okay, let's get to the bottom of this stuff.

Okay. Okay.

[Ship horn honks]

What I really want to talk to you both about

Is what's been holding you back.

Let's talk about your work

And the transition between work and here.

You walk into the house

With the same militant attitude

That you deal with outside.

And these are your -year-old toddlers.

It's so severe.

I mean, a child as young as peter and deanna

Can't comprehend that.

You got to shake it off. You got to shake it off.

Do you not feel that? I feel it.

I guess I just find it difficult

To try to get that balance.

What can I change?

You got to change wanting change.

You're a man that doesn't like change.

No.

I want to talk about

Your parenting together.

This whole "good cop, bad cop" situation

Is crazy.

Neither of you take what you have,

Those qualities, and work together.

Even if we try, it's different.

She has her way, and I have my way,

And... So if you can show us

How to work together as a team

And so that we can be on the same page.

That's the middle that I'm looking for.

Let's talk about clarissa.

Trust is a big issue in this house.

Mm-hmm. Clarissa-- she's a smart cookie,

But if she's got a dad who doesn't trust her... Mm-hmm.

Then, you know, what does that say

About the trust that she's gonna have in herself?

In life, she's going to make decisions,

And some of them are not gonna be that wise,

And some of them will be.

But the fact is that you raise a competent child

To make decisions herself.

That's very true.

Any questions?

No. When do we start?

[Both laugh] tomorrow at noon.

Okay. Okay? Thank you very much.

Okay. Thank you. Thank you.

Coming up on "supernanny,"

Peter's erratic behavior

Drives mom to tears.

Why are you crying? Huh? [Sniffles]

It's hard.

And dad does something

That the boys at the station will never let him forget...

You know, it's funny. I had hair like this in the 's.

[Laughing]

When "supernanny" returns.

There's plenty to deal with in the del re house,

But the first thing that I do want to put in

Is an effective discipline technique,

So those parents know what they're doing.

This is your time-out. Okay.

We're going to stick this beside the basement door...

Okay. Okay, up on the wall.

The benches are gonna go below that. Okay.

There are two--one for deanna, one for peter. Okay.

And I knew it wouldn't be long

Before peter put mom to the test.

[Adele] you want peanut butter and jelly?

Okay, why don't you wait a few more minutes?

Then we're gonna have lunch, okay?

[Whining]

Peter, come away from the freezer... No!

And close the door.

No! No! No! [Jo] turn him around. Face him.

No! No!

Come away from the freezer and close the door.no! No!

No! If you don't listen to mommy,

You're--you're gonna go in a time-out.[Crying]

No! No! No!

Peter, listen to mommy and come away-- you've already told him.

You've already told him.

Step back, 'cause I'm gonna go for the time-out.

My son is now having this complete meltdown,

So I'm thinking, okay, I'm gonna put him into a time-out.

And I was so self-conscious and nervous,

And it was very overwhelming.

No!peter.

Sit down. Sit down, mom.

Come down to his level,

And explain in a low-toned voice

Why you're placing him there.

Peter, you're in a time-out

Because you did not listen to mommy... [Crying]

And do what you were told.

And--and do what you were told.

[Crying] so up we get.

[Screaming] up we get. Walk away. Deanna, walk away.

They've never followed through with discipline,

And that's why these kids are all over the place.

There's no rules, there's no boundaries,

And there's no consequence.

They do what they want when they want.

They rule the roost and nobody's there to put them in check.

This is natural, how you're feeling, okay?

You get anxiety.

You're a worry-worry-worry person.

The worst it's gonna lead you

Is that he has a full-blown temper tantrum on the floor.

That's the worst it gets.

That's the worst it gets.

I feel a little... [Winces]

A little shaken, but she gave me that little pep talk,

And she's like, "you're gonna be okay.

You need to do this for him."

[Crying]listen to me. I want you to tell--

I want you to tell mommy you're sorry. [Crying]

Can you tell mommy you're sorry?

You're not listening.

Can you tell mommy that you're sorry?

Come on.

Come on.

[Crying]

I was, like, terrified

Of the tantrums and the meltdowns.

And now I'm just like, it's okay.

It's only a tantrum.

Next, I turned my attention to dad.

Hello. Hi, honey.

Welcome home.

[Jo] parents with stressful jobs

Can find it very hard to decompress.

And what I wanted to do was take joe through that transition

Or being tough cop to playful dad.

Follow me over here.

You're gonna take off all your gear, all right--

Holster and everything--

And you're placing it in here.

When dad comes home from work, he's very stressed,

And he'll just go up to his room,

And he'll just sleep, even if he's not sleepy.

You are going to wear

This fun play "daddy badge."

[Jo] with dad's g*n now locked up in the safe,

I had him put his stuff into the box,

So that the next transition would be him going downstairs

And talking to mom for minutes.

For the want of a better word,

"Crap" went down today, or it didn't.

And you need to have to trust your wife

That actually, she can handle that emotionally.

[Jo] dad did surprisingly well.

I mean, he really opened up quickly,

And he started to speak to mom

About this stressful, dramatic day that he'd had.

Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm.

And we had one guy pinned.

Uh, he didn't make it, though.

That must have been hard, huh?

Yeah.mm-hmm.

I mean, he was crushed.

I mean, that whole-- the whole car t-boned.

We both have issues,

And I think it's--it's very hard

To communicate that to one another

And be compassionate.

How was your day?

Today was a great day. Yeah?

[Jo] mom and dad did really well,

So I sent dad upstairs so that he could listen to a relaxing cd

And decompress for ten minutes as the final transition.

[Relaxing music playing]

[Inhales deeply]

[Joe] that ten minutes takes me to a different area.

It takes me to a calming zone.

And when I come down and I'm done,

I'm able to control my emotions a lot better.

What do you want to play?

Do you want to play some baseball? Yeah!

Cool. Okay. No. Too close!

Daddy's new transition time-- I love it.

We'll play ball,

And he'll gently wrestle around with us,

Spin us up in the air, and that just gets me so happy

Because I feel like I have a new dad.

[Adele] whoo! Oh, boy, you're getting--

[Joe] with decompressing and de-stressing--

Combining them is what gets me through the day now.

Can I help you? [Giggles]

That's my back, you know?

[Jo] now that dad's in the right frame of mind,

I want to work on his relationship with clarissa.

And some dads find it very difficult

To emotionally connect with their daughters

When they get to a certain age,

But it doesn't mean that they can't have fun,

And that's what I want to work on.

This is the exercise, okay?

Now you're gonna play this cd... Okay.

And you're gonna come up with a dance routine,

And dad's got to follow.

Clarissa was the princess for five years,

And then the twins came along.

And I tried to explain to her that they're just too little,

And I need to give them the same amount of attention

That I gave her when she was little.

Come on. [Hip-hop music playing]

Okay. [Laughs]

[Jo] okay, so dad's got this tough cop exterior,

But actually, it's quite nice to see

He's a teddy bear inside, having fun with those kids.

Huh?

Aah![Laughs]

When he, like, dipped me,

He looked at me, and I looked at him,

And, like, we could just tell that we were so extremely happy.whoo!

And I was like, "daddy, I don't want to ever stop this."

[Adele] you look good. You know, it's funny.

I had hair like this in the 's.

To see her smile

And to really see her genuinely appreciated,

To me, is everything,

And I would do whatever I have to do to, uh, see that smile.

You know, if I got to look like a goofball,

I'll look like a goofball for her.

Coming up on "supernanny,"

Peter spins out of control...

With bone-crushing results...

Beautiful-- [crunching sound]

[Gasps]

When "supernanny" returns.

[Geese honking]

Tuck it in between our thumb and our fingers,

And it becomes a mouth.

The next day, dad was at work,

And mom was at home playing with the kids.

And yet again, peter put mom to the test

When it came to discipline.

No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

Peter, we have enough glue, peter.

Peter. Mommy!

Honey. Honey. Peter. No!

Listen to mommy. Listen. Turn him around first.

You're getting scared of his temper. Repeat it.

Peter. Peter. No!

Peter? Mom, look.

Mommy, look.

No!

Mommy, look! Listen to mommy.

Mommy! Yes, dear? Okay.

Beautiful-- [crunching sound]

[Gasps]

I heard that crunch.

I mean, that must have hurt.

There's no two ways about that.

[Sighs, sniffles]

[Whines] peter, calm down.

[Sniffles]

Bring him back. Learn from the experience.

Oh, girl, we're not backing out now.

Come here. Come here. Come here.

[Jo] she started to cry, and it wasn't good.

I mean, it wasn't good.

Time-out for you.

I took over to show mom how to do it properly--

No communication, and no feeding into the drama.

I don't know. It just-- my--my confidence was shaken.

It really was.

[Sniffles] why are you crying? Huh?

It's hard. What's hard?

It's hard to be firm?

I get--i get frazzled.

[Sniffles] but let's not forget the progress you have made.

[Sighs] okay. Let's not forget that.

She gave me that little pep talk,

And she's like, "you're gonna be okay.

"You have the tools, you have the techniques.

You know what needs to be done."

You need to go up to mommy,

And you need to give mommy a big cuddle

Because you hurt mommy.

Let me do it. Go and say sorry to mommy.

[Jo] tell mommy you're sorry.

Peter, do you want to tell mommy you're sorry?

Sorry. Okay, sweetheart. Okay.

[Jo] mom gets really overwhelmed

When it comes to handling the kids,

And I really think that she could do

With some more support from dad.

I want them to work as a team.

You trust me, right? [Clock ticking]

[Laughs] what are you gonna do with that blindfold?

You trust me, right?

I trust you.

So, mom, could you blindfold dad, please?

I was just like, oh, my goodness.

[Laughs]

You are both together going to bake a cake.

These are the rules, okay?

Only you can talk.

[Laughs] i-i have to direct him?

Him taking orders--that,

You know, he was never good with that.

Okay. Ooh, I bet you wish you never wore this today.

Put the cake mix inside the bowl, okay?

Very good. Very good.

We need three eggs,

So if you can feel for the eggs--

To the left of you. Right. It does take teamwork.

You can't have one person doing it, and jo showed us that.

One more egg.

So even though we were on opposite ends of the spectrum,

We're fighting for the same goal.

[Giggles]

Okay, the table's directly in front of you.

[Laughing] leave it right there.

What kept making me laugh was mom.

Oh, my god. Oh, my goodness.

Oh, my goodness.

Oh, my goodness.

No, not the oil--stop! Sit it on the cover.

Like, every two minutes,

She's like, "oh, my god. Jeez. Oh, my god. Oh, my god."

Oh, my god. Oh, my god.

It was like a duo comedy act.

Oh, god. Oh, god.

We--hold--hold the-- grab the spoon!

Easy, easy, easy. Okay.

Mmm.

It was quite the experience.

Then it was a role reversal.

Honey, come over to the table.

She probably was shocked. It shocked her.

Put your hand in there. Scoop it out.

My hands? [Laughs] yeah.

I was like freaking out when I put my hand--

I had it like I was spreading the frosting with my hands,

And I was just like, oh, my goodness.

I can't believe I'm doing this.

Put that down. Put--put the frosting down.[Laughs]

I was like, oh, my god. Oh, my god. I want to wash my hands.

There you go.

[Jo] all right. Good. [Clapping] [laughs]

Okay, well done.

I was able to trust her, and she was able to trust me.

[Jo] well, it was good to turn it around, right? Yes, it was.

Good to turn it around.

I want mom and dad to take the same principles--

Listening, compromising-- baking that cake

As raising their kids.

I'm leaving for several days,

But I'm gonna leave these parents with an assignment.

Clarissa's years old,

And she's never slept over at a friend's house.

I'm gonna leave them an overnight backpack,

And what they're going to do, these parents,

Is actually give clarissa some slack

And let her have a sleepover.

Any idea what this is, joe?

It's "clarissa is sleeping over at someone's house."

She's years old.

She wants to experience having fun

With her friends on a sleepover.

If we're gonna think of all the things that go on,

I'll tell you what,

We wouldn't get outside that front door, would we?

Let's face it.

You're gonna have to recognize the importance

Of trusting your kids so that they trust themselves,

Because they know that they have their parents who trust them.

[Jo] adele seemed like she was on board.

Joe... Not so sure.

[Joe] I'm very apprehensive about the sleepover.

I really don't know. I'm gonna have an issue with this.

Jo jo's going away for a few days.

Bye-bye. I'll see you when I get back. Bye.

This family's come far. They've made real good progress.

Peter, bye-bye.

But the big deal is gonna be adele keeping nice and calm

When she's got to put deanna and peter in time-out.

Bye, adele. Bye, jo.

I have this fear of the kids going into the tantrum

And me losing that control.

When peter hit me in the nose,

It shook that confidence that I had.

Bye-bye. Thank you so much.

Hey, transition! Transition, okay?

Have fun with the kids.

And certainly for dad, I hope he can remain disciplined

To give himself the time that he will need

To be the father he wants to be when he comes home.

Bye, kids. I kind of had tears in my eyes

Because I didn't want to see her go, but I knew she had to go.

[Joe] I was like, okay, that's it. Party's over.

You know, back to normal. This ain't gonna work.

Coming up on "supernanny,"

Can dad find it in his heart to trust his daughter?

And mom and dad struggle to stay on the same page...

You want to trade? You want to-- yes. Yes.

Not a problem. Just go out there and make what I do then. Listen, seriously--

When "supernanny" returns.

[Jo] I have been away for three days,

So let's see how the del res have done whilst I've been gone.

[Raspily] well, whilst you guys were busy catching up with life,

I was busy catching a cold, as you can hear. Oh.

So, um, we'll push on through.

The first one,

We are gonna concentrate on dad's transitions.

♪♪

Go help peter.

I'm gonna talk to mommy for a few, okay?

Yeah, it was a-- how was your day?

It was, uh, you know, just a lot of surveillance.mm-hmm.

[Waves crashing]

I can't find a fresh one.

Let me see.

[Laughs]

[Voice undulating] [voice undulating]

It is great.

The importance of this is consistency.

We all get ourselves in a place

Where we could choose to say, "I don't have time for that."

You have to have time for this.

Yes. No, i-i find that that's very, very important for me.

Fantastic.

Let's move on to the next one--dad's trust.

[Laughs] oh, you're laughing, so let's take a look at that.

Aw, look at your face!

It's like the words hit you,

And you were like, "it's now or never."

Tell her you'll call her back.

Clarissa, come here.

I'll call you, okay?

I'll call you if anything's wrong,

And I'll call you just because sometimes.

I'm gonna trust you. Thank you, daddy!

You're the best daddy in the world!

I promise I'll behave, I'll listen, I'll call you.

I promise! Daddy, thank you!

My--oh, my god! It's my own!

Daddy, you are the best! Thank you.

Thank you.

You make me proud, okay?

I promise.

I promise.

I love you. I love you, too.

Okay. Behave. Make sure you're a good girl. Yeah. Okay. Bye, "d."

How was your-- how was your sleepover?

Good. Yeah?

Yeah. Okay.

Did you have a lot of fun?yeah.

You passed. [Laughs]

[Imitates heart b*ating]

You rock!

No, serious, oh, my god, joe! Awesome.

That took a lot.

How did you feel when you said yes,

And she was just, like, so grateful?

Well, first of all, I couldn't believe I said yes.

That's, um, but to see that look in her eye

And actually, I really did see more,

And I think that's why I did trust her.

I really did believe in her. Mm-hmm.

Let's take a look at this clip.

It's all about you relating to one another.

What were you making? What--i don't know-- I was gonna make them

Little pizzas on english muffins.

Do you want pizza? You want pizza?

You want pizza or bologna?

Okay.

Do you want pizza or bologna?

So make both.

Okay, just take a deep breath,

And let's be in sync with one another. Are you going to work?

You need--you need-- are you going to work?

Yeah, I work hours, days a week... I--

But that's, you know--really?

Listen-- you want to trade?

Yes. Yes. You want to-- not a problem.

Listen, seriously-- just go out there and make what I do then.

Okay, fine. I don't have time to-- you know, like, if I'm late--

It's okay. You know, deep-- I can't be late.

So as soon as the boat gets rocked,

That's what happens.

We get the big ego

About "this is the work I do. Look at my work.

"It's all about me

And nothing about what do you during home." Mm-hmm.

And that's ugly.

That doesn't have to go on. Yeah.

So I want to get cracking with maintaining this

And taking this to the next level.

So are we ready? Sure.

Well done. Yep. Thank you.

Coming up on "supernanny,"

[Yells] jo arrives in the middle of a meltdown.

[Crying]

Can she show mom what to do before it's too late?

Oh, she can stay in those wet knickers for a bit, as well,

And she can feel what that feels like,

Because that's all on purpose.

When "supernanny" returns.

How can you help a child who has separation anxiety

When going to school?

"A"--let them borrow something of yours to hold onto,

"B"--ignore it. Eventually, it will go away,

"C"--keep them home until the anxiety stops.

Find out after the break.

How can you help a child who has separation anxiety

When going to school?

"A"--let them borrow something of yours to hold onto,

"B"--ignore it. Eventually, it will go away,

"C"--keep them home until the anxiety stops.

The answer is "a"-- send your child to school

With something of yours like a scarf or an old watch.

This will help soothe them so they feel more reassured

When you tell them confidently

You will be back to collect them soon.

[Jo] I'm on my last day of teaching the del re family.

[Deanna screaming]

[Jo] I have no idea of the drama that's already unfolded.

Ow! [Joe speaking indistinctly]

Ow!

[Crying]

Deanna was in a time-out

Because she was laying on the floor throwing a tantrum.

I want to hear you say you're sorry. [Whining]

Okay, then you stay in time-out.

[Adele] deanna was just being defiant,

So I left her in the time-out, and I walked away.

And then I saw her peeing on the floor.

I couldn't believe it.

I was like, oh, no. What do I do now?

[Crying]

[Jo] when I walked in, deanna had wet herself.

Oh, just in time.

[Jo] I knew that was on purpose

Because deanna's potty trained, and she doesn't have accidents.

Oh, and she's decided to be defiant

And go for a pee.mm-hmm.

Oh, she can stay in those wet knickers for a bit, as well,

And she can feel what that feels like.

I was so grateful that jo jo was there

Because she was able to see now with her own eyes

And then tell me exactly how to address the situation.

Quite frankly, taking a pee on the floor

Is basically flipping you the bird.

Deanna really needs to shape up with her behavior,

And so it was very important

To coach adele again through that process.

When you're asking for your apology,

It's not a case of just say the word "sorry"...

Right. It's mean it, and--

And it means you can get out.

It's like, "you owe me an apology."Right.

Like, "I really feel like you did wrong."

She knows what she does, and she chooses

To push the boundaries with you, and it's got to be tough.

That wall has got to be brick, not made of straw.

Right. Okay. And that's what we're doing here.

So come back with a firm voice

And actually tell her,

"You need to tell mommy you're sorry."

Deanna, turn around and look at mommy. Turn around, please.

You need to tell mommy that you are sorry.

Okay, mommy is not happy with your behavior.

Do you see this pee-pee on the floor?

This is unacceptable-- unacceptable behavior,

Okay?

I want an apology now.

I want to hear you say you're sorry. I'm sorry.

Okay.

Eventually, we did see deanna back down

And apologize for her behavior.

And of course, she was given a talk

With regards to her peeing herself.

This behavior is unacceptable--

Pee-pee on the floor.

Do you understand?

You're going to go to bed early tonight.

Had it been the old me,

I would have certainly been shaken by it,

But I have this confidence within myself.

You bring your clothes upstairs,

And you're going to put them in the hamper right now.

I am very proud of myself.

With that out of the way, it was time for one last thing.

Mom and dad have worked so hard together

That I thought they just needed

A little bit of special time together alone.

Okay, what I have here

Is a date night calendar for you both.

You've already established your teamwork with the kids.

Now it's time for you two. Don't forget yourselves.

It's important that parents set aside time

Just to be alone and together

Because it makes them closer,

Which, in turn, makes them better parents.

We're going to start off by having a date night today,

And the pair of you

Are gonna go and spend some quality time together,

Okay, and I'm gonna take care of the kids.

It's nice to be relaxed, you know?

Not tense.

It was nice to be able to just sit with him

And have a glass of wine and just talk.

[Joe] I enjoyed the date. It was really nice.

Something that we-- me and adele--

Have not had in a very, very long time.

Do you know that a man that is vulnerable

And shows his feelings is incredibly sexy to a woman?

Really?yeah.

[Adele] I was feeling so empty inside,

And I feel full again.

I think that enables me

To be a much better parent to my child

Because I am coming from a place where I feel whole.

I'm better for it,

And my children will be better for it.

I'm going now,

So come and give me a big hug and a big kiss.

Bye-bye.

This is a good beginning for the del re family.

They took direction incredibly well.

They put a lot of hard work into the techniques.

Clarissa, you have learnt very much yourself, my darling.

[Clarissa] thank you, jo jo, so much,

Because now my family is happy just as I wished.

Adele!

[Adele] I thought this was just about the kids,

And I see that it wasn't just about the kids.

It's about the whole family unit changing,

And that's exactly what happened.

Thank you so much, really. You're so welcome.

Joe, take care.

[Joe] this experience has taught me

How to be a dad,

Be a husband.

I thought I could never be emotional, and I am.

Did I just say that?

You take care, huh? Yes, you do the same.

All right. Bye-bye.

I know that this family are gonna wake up tomorrow

Feeling very positive about what the future holds for them,

And that's just amazing.

Thank you, jo jo.