07x08 - The Miller Family

[bunniefuu]

Tonight on "supernanny"... [Shrieks]

Not one, not two,

But six crazy kids...

[Girl] don't!

Dad refuses to trust his teenage daughter...

How is it okay for your -year-old

To look after the younger siblings,

Yet to drop her off at a movie at : in the afternoon

Is not acceptable? His temper is spiraling out of control...

You don't do stuff like that! And both parents are terrified

Their daughter is growing up too fast.

The fear comes from kesley being robbed of what?

Her virginity.

Can jo get dad to keep his cool?

Don't you as a father want to be able

To connect with your girls on some level?

Or is it already too late?

[Speaking indistinctly] hey! You totally smash her in the face with a ball

And make her hit her head. Sit down! [Boy speaks indistinctly]

♪♪♪♪♪

So I'm here in phoenix, arizona, ready to help a family--

A very large family who need my help.

Let's take a look.

[Both] hi, we're the millers from phoenix, arizona.

I'm meshell... And I'm david.

We have kids. Their names are kesley--she's --

Kendall's , meryn's , landon's ,

Ainsley is and avarie is .

Six. Whew. Six kids.

[Shrieks]

[Speaks indistinctly]

Did you draw on the wall, avarie? Ow.

I'm a telecommunications specialist.

I work a lot of hours--

Probably anywhere between to a week.

So it makes it really hard, 'cause I'm pretty much

Trying to run a household like a single parent.

Avarie threw the ice cream in the--in the bath.

Ohh![Yelps]

[Screams]

Look at this behavior.

[Crying] I wanted six kids, but I came from a small family,

So I don't really have any idea what to do.

I just feel overwhelmed most of the time.

[Cries] [shouts indistinctly]

I don't think so.

Growing up, I didn't have a lot.

Because of that, I've kind of overdone it.

My word. There's clothes everywhere.

I've wanted to give my kids everything that I didn't have.

I'm a pushover because of that, 'cause I want them to be happy. You're a big pushover.

You need to calm down. It's bedtime.

It's supposed to be getting quiet time

And calm down for bed. You guys have to calm down.

It's time to calm down. Oh, I mean, nothing much is happening here, is it?

Who's stepping up? [David] this is bull crap.

You and I are gonna have it out here in about five seconds.

You were trying to give me crap.

We've gone from one extreme to the next.

A lot of times I'll be way too overly excessive

With the kids, because half the time

When I come home tired,

The kids are kind of out of control and running the show. Give me your phone.

[Speaking indistinctly] yes, you did. You're acting like a dork right now.

Give me-- give me your phone!

I don't like that I've-- I've turned into this jerk.

Stop!

[Cracks]ah.

You know what? Give me your phone. Give me your phone. I ain't giving it up!

I don't feel like the kids really respect each other...

You have doo-doo on your mouth!

Let alone us. [Meshell] I hid the phone from her, and she found it.

Get off of me, lady. You know what? Stop arguing with me. I'm your mom.

Oh, everyone's fed up here, aren't they?

I mean, let's face it. I'm on the brink

Of letting them just do whatever they--

Giving up. Giving up.

[Avarie crying] this is the critical time, because you're kind of getting

To the point of no return as the kids start moving

Into teenage years. Into teenage years.

If this doesn't work...

Supernanny, we need your help!

Oh, dear. We've got some work to do, right?

Dad, keep the lid on that temper.

And, mom, get ready, 'cause we're about to do some work.

I'll see you both soon.

♪♪♪♪♪

[Rings doorbell]

Hello. Nice to meet you. Hi, jo. Hi. Welcome to the family. Nice to meet you.

How are you? When jo first arrived, of course I was a little intimidated.

She's very knowledgeable, very professional.

[Meshell] and this is avarie. [Jo] hiya. Pleased to meet you.

I'm kendall. Hi, kendall. Jo. You were right.

Kesley. Hi, kesley. Pleased to meet you.

Hi. [Jo] when I first walked in to meet the miller family,

I was received by a huge clan.

And then very quickly they went off,

And I saw what it was like

Raising six kids day in and day out.

Aah! I think brown sugar is better for you.

Mom! Mom!

Let's try a sippy and see what happens.

The first thing that I noticed was avarie asking for a bottle.

I want a ba-ba!

[Meshell] look, honey, what?

And mom didn't stick to her g*ns at all.

Honey, one sip.

One sip and then we'll-- we'll give you the bottle.

Okay, take it. Come on. [Crying]

If I give you the bottle right now,

Will you try this later?

I'll give you a bottle if you try this later.

You s--you're gonna try it later. Okay. When mom gave in to avarie,

I thought, what a pushover, and her kids know it.

Mom and dad had their hands full,

So I decided to look around the house...

We've got sodden diapers there.

And I realized they're not organized at all.

You walk through every room, there's just clothes everywhere,

Over every piece of furniture.

Seriously, it might as well be coming out of the walls.oh.

This is the game room. Game room?

Looks more like a laundry room at the moment, ainsley.

There's no system in place at all.

You can't have this many kids and not have a system in place.

What's this? [David] that used to be one of our chore charts.

We had different chores that they had to do. [Jo] from what I gather,

This family have tried a whole heap of charts,

And none of them have worked.

I mean, come on. Really, we're looking at two parents

That haven't worked, right?

If mom and dad were having a problem

With sticking to a chore chart, then what hope did they have

With following through with discipline?

[Ainsley] that's my homework book!

She was working on it first, honey.

I think you need to give it back.

She says she's gonna draw on the front of the book.

Landon, that's my homework book!

Know what? If you're gonna treat it nice.

Landon. Landon, you're not the dad or the mother.

It's my homework book, landon!

Mom was letting the kids run riot.

I mean, she had no control whatsoever. I'm not gonna fight with you.

Ainsley, this is landon's room.

Why don't we ask if you can come in his room first?

You don't need to wrestle her down, landon.

Okay? Mommy will take care of it. [Whines]

Landon, stop being the dad or--

Here, I'll close my door. I'll close my door.

[Meshell speaks indistinctly] mom's telling landon

Not to be the dad and that she can take care of it,

But quite clearly, she's showing the kids

That she doesn't take care of things.

♪♪♪♪♪

[Water running] what is so hard with you loading the dishwasher?

Since mum does nothing when it comes to discipline,

It always ends up in dad's lap,

And sometimes he goes overboard.

Go over there and at least start it. Go at least start it. No, i--no, I have started it.

Go sit down and try.

The kids get on my nerves pretty quickly.

Go look at your bed. Why are your clothes on your bed?

I asked you to put them away. Or you get to a point of exasperation

Where you just--you want your kids to listen to you...

Ow. No.come on. I need you to come upstairs.

And they don't, and you tell them again.

And they don't, and again and again.

What do you mean, you don't care?

Are you gonna talk to me like that? We're done. We're done.

Then there are moments when you can let it get to you.

You think this is funny?

Coming up on...

The kids cause more chaos...

Landon, stop getting physical. And he just pinched her, david.

And jo has something to say about it.

I mean, what happened? The two of you met,

You decided you were gonna marry and have six kids

And then you stopped talking? When "supernanny" returns.

♪♪♪♪♪

Kesley--lately, with the teenage thing going on... [Jo] what's the teenage thing?

The major thing is the texting, because it's all the time. Right.

I had quite a frank conversation with mum later on in the day

About kesley.

I don't think it's the fact that her daughter texts.

I think she's worried who she's texting.

She's so sidetracked with it. She's so boy-crazy.

She's texting three boys, at one time, that like her.

But sometimes I worry, like, with the boy stuff.

What is you're--what you're actually really worried about

With this boy thing? I'm afraid of them...

Getting in with the boys. Getting in trouble.

Going over the edge.

Going over the edge, yeah. Clearly, mum and dad

Have got a problem with giving kesley some freedom,

And I wanted to see what she thought about it.

What are the things that you would like to do?

I never get to hang out with my friends, like, ever.

And have they specified reasons why? Mnh-mnh. Not really.

Have you broke their trust? I don't know. I haven't done anything that I know of.

All right. Have you earned their trust? Mm-hmm.

In what ways? You know, I'm a straight-"a" student,

And I just-- I'm always helping out.

My mom went to hawaii, and my dad was at work one whole week,

And I just stayed home and watch...

[Ainsley] and babysit. And babysit.

So she went on holiday, she left you with all the kids... Mm-hmm.

To look after during the day. Mm-hmm. My dad will be here during the day,

But then right when I get home from school,

He'll leave to go to work, and then I'll just have to

Babysit everyone until the next morning. So you have them overnight?

Mm-hmm. I'm quite dumbfounded that this young teenager has been

Given the responsibility

To look after her younger siblings overnight,

Yet this is the same young girl who can't go to the movies

And be dropped off at : in the afternoon.

♪♪♪♪♪

Tell everyone it's time to eat.

[David] girls! [Children speaking indistinctly]

Can you go get everybody and tell them

It's time for dinner? Landon, come here and stop walking in circles.

[Meshell] help me pick what you want. You guys, come on.

When dinner's going to be served and the kids gather together

For prayers... Who's gonna say a prayer? It's meryn's turn.

I will. I will. You said it yesterday.

[Jo] and then it's mayhem. Oh, my gosh. We are not gonna fight

Over who's gonna say the prayer. Landon, stop getting physical. And he just pinched her, david.

[Ainsley] daddy. Daddy. Daddy. Wait. This is kinda overload right now.

Can you hold on just a second? Landon.

Landon, let go.

[Whines indistinctly]

[David] landon, you're being a little brat right now.

Let's go. I got a butterfly, daddy!

No. Mnh-mnh. The deal is after dinner.

I don't want it. Mm-hmm.

[Girl] yeah, it's yummy. [David] no coloring until you're done with your dinner.

Come on. Bad waffles.

No. Stop. Sit down and eat your dinner.

[Jo] what's meshell doing? She was printing off some stuff for them to color.

They want their kids to sit down and have dinner,

And yet, mum's on the computer,

Making all of these printouts for the kids to color in,

And dad's banging his head on a brick wall

To try and get the kids to sit down and eat.

I'm a little bit confused here. How does it work,

You doing the pictures and trying to get them

At the table to sit down and eat before doing the coloring? I guess I wasn't thinking.

Ainsley was done eating, and so we came in here-- no, ainsley's still eating.

So--see, I didn't know that. And landon just ended up

Following in, and so that's what's going on. I usually--

Yeah, so it's just crazy. I guess it didn't work out.

If mum is to remain on task, then she needs

To stop being sidetracked by her kids and focus more.

Can I say good-bye to you all as a family,

Um, and just say I look forward to having a family meeting

With the pair of you so that we can knuckle down

And, uh, talk about what we need to do, yeah? Okay.

All right. Kids, I'll see you all tomorrow.

I get the feeling that my wife and I

Are gonna be crucified tomorrow.

Both these parents are gonna really need to step up,

Because up until now, I've just heard excuses,

And, uh, I'm not accepting excuses.

♪♪♪♪♪

Hello. Hello.

So let's talk about discipline. I'll say that again--

Discipline. Okay, where is it?

We don't really have. You know, we both decided-- one minute's it's one thing,

And the next, it's something other. Right.

The pair of you together have not established

What's appropriate discipline for a -year-old,

What's appropriate discipline for toddlers

And those in between.

You haven't discussed that together.

Not really. So--

We haven't discussed much of anything,

Now that I'm listening to you. I mean, what happened? The two of you met,

You decided you were gonna marry and have six kids

And then you stopped talking? Like, what happened? It's crazy.

So gives the warnings in the house?

Well, it depends if you call her warning "I'm gonna call dad"--

You know, that's--that's about it.

If you're prepared to be somebody

Who's gonna pass the buck on to dad,

Then you're basically saying that what you have to say

And your empty threats ain't worth nothing,

And then guess who becomes bad cop. And is that fair?

It's not fair. And then that puts you in a situation

Where you lose your cool

And then you start to shout and yell,

And then the kids only respond to when you shout and you yell.

Yeah. Just a big ogre.

Let's talk about kesley.

I heard you both say "well, we trust kesley,"

But your actions don't show that you really trust her.

How is it okay for your -year-old

To look after her younger siblings overnight

While you're working night shift and you're off in another state?

How is that okay?

Yet to drop her off at a movie at : in the afternoon

With a couple of friends and then pick her up

Is not acceptable?

When you show kesley that you don't trust her,

What do you think it does for her?

It decreases her self-esteem.

Correct. Makes sense.

We hold 'em so tight.

You love 'em, you end up losing 'em,

'Cause they fight to get away.

The looser the hand, the tighter the grip.

Right.

Let's talk about house chores.

These kids have got so much leeway between the pair of you,

Why would they do it? Why would they do it

When good old mum will just clean it all up,

Take care of it and eventually get it done? Why?

They don't have to. No, you're right.

But you're teaching them to be lazy,

And you've got a big enough family where you can put,

You know, systems in place where more hands, the merrier. Yeah.

You gotta change the way you think, your mind-set

And your actions that follow.

And I can help you do that, but how badly do you want it?

It's my number one priority right now.

Yourself, david?

More than anything.

Okay. So I'm not gonna sit here and tell you it's gonna be easy,

'Cause it's not. It's gonna be challenging.

But you know what you're gonna do?

You're gonna push through it together. Thank you very much.

Thank you.

Coming up on "supernanny"...

You need to go in time-out right now.

Landon laughs at mom's discipline...

[Laughs]

And dad's harsh words make kendall cry.

Now that was just a crappy thing to do.

I don't like this smart-ass attitude.

When "supernanny" returns.

♪♪♪♪♪

It certainly is important for these kids

To be taking on responsibilities in the house

And all mucking in to do their bits,

So I'm going to present them with a chore buddy system.

There are chores here,

That I think realistically--

Kendall, landon, kesley and meryn--

You're more than capable of being able to do.

I concentrated on the four oldest children,

Because avarie's years old-- so a little bit too young--

And ainsley's years old,

So she can help out every now and then.

You have been divided into two teams.

The purple team is kendall and landon.

[Kendall] whoo-hoo! Let's hear it for the purple team.

All right. And kesley and meryn are the green team.

Let's hear it for the green team! [Girl] whoo!

You're gonna be wearing the bracelet with your colors.

Catch.

Mum and dad are gonna place this board up

So that everybody can see it.

All right, guys. So team purple and green,

Take a look at your board,

Have a look at what you've got and let's get busy.

Initially both teams were really fired up about doing chores,

And then landon started to lose heart.

Are you gonna help?

What I want is a new chore buddy,

Because I see my see my sisters meryn and kesley work together.

They get the job done really quick, unlike me.

[David] you're on a team, landon.

Get off the horse and fold clothes.

I had to be stuck-- dad, I had to be stuck with him. I don't want to be with her.

See? I had to be stuck with him. He's not even gonna do any work

If he was stuck with someone else.

Landon, get off the horse. Why?

Okay. You know what? I'll tell you why.

Because you're gonna get in trouble.

Landon.

[Door closes] get over here.

Landon.

I am not even playing this game with you right now.

It's--this is your chore time. I want to do something rather than dumb clothes.

Landon, you know what? This is what we're--

They got to have a different job.

I felt that dad wouldn't know

How to speak to landon appropriately

And would make things worse, so I stepped up to show dad

How to handle landon in this situation.

Everybody's got their responsibilities.

Dad's got a list of things he needs to do.

Mum has a list of things that she needs to do every day.

Don't dig your heels in and refuse to do it.

Let's get it done

So that the two of you can get a lot of work done here.

This is about all of us doing things together.

And if you don't choose

To do the chores together with kendall,

Then you're actually gonna be losing out on doing things

That the rest of the family are gonna be doing.

Sure enough, the calm, rational approach to landon worked,

And he was very motivated when he realized

That he may lose a few privileges along the way.

[Whirring]

♪♪♪♪♪

[Meshell] everyone benefits from working as a team

And doing their chores. Not only is it helping me

Because I don't have to do it

And I don't have to fight with them to do it,

But it gives them all a sense of accomplishment.

It was a total stress off my back.

One reason dad blows his top a lot

Is because mum never does discipline,

And then dad always feels like the bad cop.

So I wanted to show them both how to do a time-out properly.

And explain again for a second time

Why they're now in time-out.

It wasn't long before landon put mom to the test.

But she was far too patient with all his shenanigans.

...if you're not gonna listen to me.

I'm giving you a warning right now

With your outburst about this. Off the counter. Landon.

Now I'm giving you a warning

If you don't get off the counter. [Landon] aah!

[Meshell] landon, do not scream. She didn't really want to put landon into time-out.

I really had to force this issue for her to recognize

The importance of following through with landon.

When he does things that you blatantly know

Are being disrespectful,

How many excuses can you give him before you decide,

Right, I'm gonna give him a time-out? Okay.

You need to go on time-out right now.

Explain why. Explain why.

You're in time-out because you've been misbehaving.

I've given you your warning, and now it's time for you

To be in time-out. Landon gave her a run for her money,

Because he kept getting up from that time-out.

The timer doesn't start until you get in time-out.

Mom, you-- mom, you're talking too much.

[Meshell] it was horrible for me.

I felt like it was never-ending.

And he was playing games with me.

[Laughs] I felt like just saying,

"The heck with it. I can't do this."

I tried so hard not to cry.

[Voice breaks] and even right now... It was tough.

Wait until he goes out. Ignore him.

You don't have to act upon it. It's not cat and mouse.

So she's like, "let him sit there. He's in a spot

Where he's gonna play cat and mouse with you forever."

So I went and sat down, gave a few minutes,

And then he came over to the table and sat by me

Like he wanted me to get up and chase him, and I didn't.

There's only one person who's in control and charge here,

And that'syou, and he needs to know that,

So it means you need to feel it.

Very firmly walk over to him,

And you're gonna say to him,

"You need to be in time-out right now.

"If you do not listen to me, trust me,

You will be going to bed early tonight,"

And you're gonna mean what you say.

Landon,youare going to go into time-out right now.

And tonight you're gonna go to bed very, very early.

Landon was still being very resistant, but in the end,

He went back to that time-out spot, and he did his time.

[Microwave beeps] I was amazed. I didn't think he was gonna do it.

I honestly didn't think he was gonna do it.

In the end, the time-out got done,

But mom's still a little bit ropey

When it comes to handling the technique.

There's still more work to be done.

With mum now learning how to be more firm,

I wanted to teach dad how to be a lot softer

In his approach with the children.

However, kendall did something that pushed dad over the edge.

What? Hey!

Sorry. It's lying. She said no. [Crying]

You know what? Give me the damn ball.

Go to your room. Go to your room.

You don't do stuff like that.

That was really stupid.

This is frickin' ridiculous.

I followed dad upstairs,

And I was shocked at how he handled this situation.

Now what was that all about? I mean, you totally smash her

In the face with a ball and make her hit her head. Yeah, and meryn pulled my hair--

Sit down.

Now that was just a crappy thing to do.

Why would you hit your sister like that? Why?

I don't know! 'Cause she lied. Why would you...

Of course landon was laying there for no reason.

You don't care. You guys were sitting there fighting.

I pulled you both apart. [Crying] you didn't bring him up to his room.

He did it for no reason.

You know what? You have to admit what you did was worse.

And you hurt your sister. There was no apology. No nothing.

You did it like you didn't even care.

Well, landon's not sorry either.

We will deal with that, and we will deal with him,

And right now I'm dealing with you.

I don't like this smart-ass attitude.

And then kendall started to become very emotional

Because dad was coming down so hard on her.

I think you need to apologize to meryn.

I'll give you five minutes, okay?

[Speaks indistinctly] all right.

I didn't know it,

But jo was standing just outside the doorway

While I was... Yelling at kendall.

[Sighs]

What happened? I have no idea.

I realized at that point

That I didn't know how to talk to my kids without yelling.

Coming up on...

Don't you, as a father, want to be able to connect

With your girls on some level? Dad tries to mend things with kendall...

And talk about boys with kesley.

The fear comes from kesley being robbed of what?

Her virginity.

When "supernanny" returns.

♪♪♪♪♪

After kendall hit meryn in the face with a ball,

Dad completely lost it with kendall.

I don't like this smart-ass attitude.

So I gave him an example of how he should have spoke to her.

You're gonna stand right here.

I really need to talk to you right now.

At first I was like, "oh, great. Jo's gonna talk to me now."

I'm really not happy

With the way that you just behaved downstairs.

And I actually felt very angry, as well, by what you did.

But then she was not yelling.

She was talking really in a calm voice.

When you do something like that,

You've got to think about what that will do to somebody else.

Because that kind of behavior hurt somebody else, right?

Yes.

When your dad's feeling angry with what he's seen,

What do you think he could do... [Sniffles]

That would help you feel that you could talk to him

Like you're talking to me right now?

Like, if he doesn't yell at me that much

And he talks to me normal.right.

And he-- you mean like you and I having a conversation now?

Yeah, like that. He doesn't do that. He yells.

Mm-hmm. And how does that make you feel?

It makes me feel pretty sad, like he doesn't really like me,

That he likes everybody else better,

'Cause he usually talks to them and yells at me.

I do think you owe somebody an apology.

And who do you think that person may be? Meryn.

Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Okay. Mm.

All right. Let me see better, okay? Let me see better. Okay.

He saw the difference straightaway,

And he realized that what was important

Was for him to have more self-discipline over his temper

And to respond to situations that happen with the kids

Rather than to react and fly off the handle.

But I still wanted to make one more point with dad.

If you open up,

They'll open up.

Otherwise, they're not gonna come to you for anything.

They're gonna be worried about how you're gonna react.

Don't you, as a father, want to be able

To connect with your girls on some level? I do.

And you lay down a very important foundation

For these girls,

Because the first male role model in their life is you.

And if their dad doesn't give 'em attention,

And if their dad doesn't make 'em feel special, guess what.

They'll look for someone who does.

Oh, and that's a fact.

So what's the first step in fixing this?

Apologizing. You know what? Show your kid by example.

Showing your emotions and your soft side is not a weakness.

It's a strength,

And you're about to learn that. Okay.

Dad knew what he needed to do now,

But could he reconnect with kendall? That was the question.

Can you come talk to me for a bit?

Please.

I'm not gonna yell at you.

And I'm sorry for getting mad.

I know I yelled at you too much.

You did make me really angry

With the way that you treated meryn.

And I was really disappointed.

You just kind of surprised me.

But I'm sorry.

You know I love you.

Can I have a hug?

After he said sorry for yelling at me, I felt pretty happy.

I love you, honey,

And I'm sorry for yelling at you. Okay?

Okay.

[Voice breaking] I thought I was a great dad,

But listening to my daughter tell jo

That she was afraid of me--

No child should ever be afraid of their parent.

I love you. Okay?

Okay.

Dad has resolved issues with kendall,

But mum and dad still have a trust issue when it comes

To dealing with their -year-old daughter kesley,

So I took all three of them aside

And asked kesley to be honest about how she was feeling.

Well, sometimes I feel like

You guys don't trust me when I go off with friends

To, like, not just friends' houses,

But, like, bigger places, like the mall and stuff.

'Cause at the mall, I've never been able to go off by myself.

So... Okay, well, we can change that.

If your homework's done and you've done your chores,

We have no problem

Letting you go out to the mall with your friends.

You're asking your parents to, like, trust you more,

So what can you come to the table with

So that they can hold you to a promise as well?

I'll set aside an hour of my day of studying. Okay.

Okay, that's good. That's a commitment.

I'm willing to let you do these things. Don't blow it.

What is it that you're fearful of? Just letting go.

The fear comes from kesley being robbed of what?

Her virginity.

[Meshell whispers] her innocence. Her innocence.

Mm-hmm. You know, i--

Kesley's there.

[Meshell] kesley. Hi, honey.

Hi. [Laughs]

We're willing to kinda...

[Voice breaks] cut the strings a little bit.

And it's hard,

'Cause I love you.

Mom and I love you.

It was very emotional seeing david open up to his daughter

And opening his heart to her,

Because I don't think he's ever done that.

I mean, kesley realized, "my dad really does care."

We want what's best for you. [Meshell] surfacing.

I mean, the--the boy thing is already here.

Dad just has to go buy a shotgun. All right? [Laughs]

It's tough to let go.

She's my little girl.

I love you, honey. I love you. I love you, too.

And you don't ever want to have her in a situation that,

You know, she's gonna get hurt.

But I just want her to know that I'm there.

Make good decisions, okay?

[Jo] okay, so I'm gone for several days.

Whilst I'm gone, I would like to know

Who's gonna be doing chore buddies?

All right. This family have certainly got some challenges

Whilst I'm gone for several days.

There's no two ways about that.

Mom and dad, discipline--

Follow-through, follow-through, follow-through.

The biggest struggle I think I'm gonna have

Once jo is gone is the tantrums and the time-outs,

But I know it's something I need to do. We'll see what happens.

I'd like to see kesley down at the movies with her friends,

Drop off, pick up and having some fun, all right?

I am a little nervous about not having her around,

But it's a learning curve, and I'm--i'm here to learn.

It's certainly going to be a challenge

For dad to keep himself on an even keel

And to control that temper.

Coming up on...

Right now. I'm playing.

You are not. I'm playing.

Look at me. Mom goes overboard with meryn.

Meryn, you're gonna go to your room

Or you're gonna go to bed early every night this week.

And will dad lose control again?

What? What?

When "supernanny" returns.

♪♪♪♪♪

Hello. Hi.

Hi. Hi.

I've been away for several days, and I am very curious to see

How the miller family have got on.

We certainly have some work to get through.

So the first one we're gonna look at here is teen trust.

Okay, kesley, here's your money.

Okay, mom. Bye. Enough money there to pay for the movies

And get something to snack on. Okay, I love you. [Girls] kesley.

You guys have a good time. Bye. [Girl screams]

[Laughter]

[Indistinct conversations]

Okay, how many times did you circle that car park? I know.

[Laughs]i drove pretty slow out of there. I can tell you that much.

Oh, you must have. But you did it.

I did. You did do it. And so what happened?

It was great. When she got home, she came in my room... Happiness.

And she sat there and talked with me on... Happiness.

About her whole night and what happened.

The fact that she come into your room--

Now that behavior is so normal. Now if she goes out

And she starts to go straight into her room,

That's when you can switch on that little aware button

And think, "oh, I wonder if everything's okay."

So you can start to read your teenagers

And understand, you know, that maybe something's slightly off.

So we're gonna move on to chore buddies.

[David] I need you to come in and start your chores.

I can't actually do my chore right now, dad,

Because landon's eating. Why don't you pick up now while he's eating,

And then he can vacuum and then you can trade off?

[Speaks indistinctly]

[Whirring]

What's happening here? Oh, landon just wanting to play with things

And his sisters were busy working. Exactly. And he knows.

"Don't worry. I'll just sit back a little bit."

He's great at stalling the situation. "Perhaps I'll get

To sit back while all my sisters do the work."

I guess he's trying to find himself a girlfriend and a wife

Like that at the end of the day as well, right?

Okay, we need him as a st century man.

What we can do is encourage kendall to do her bit and say,

"Leave the rest, because landon will have to do his share." Okay.

And then you can say to landon, "look, you're either gonna

"Do this with your sister at the same time,

Or you're gonna end up having to do it minutes later."

Because at the moment, we've got him sitting on his heinie,

Thinking that he's gonna get away with doing it,

And his sister's gonna pick up the pieces. Right.

So we're gonna move straight on to mom discipline here.

Meryn, look at me. Touch that one more time--

This is your warning. I will put you to bed early tonight.

She touched it.

Okay, that's it. You're gonna go to bed early.

You're going to bed when the babies go to bed, at :. No, I'm not.

Meryn, look me in the face. Mnh-mnh. I'm having it.

Give me the r-remote right now. Right now. I'm playing. I'm playing.

You are not. Look at me. I'm playing. I'm playing.

Give me the remote right now. I'm playing. I'm playing.

I'm not gonna wrestle you, meryn.

You're gonna hand it to me. It's too... [Speaking indistinctly]

It's too late for that. You let go of this right now.

Meryn, you are gonna go to your room

Or you're gonna go to bed early every night this week.

Okay. Every night this week.

The discipline is still in a place

Where you're fighting...

Mm-hmm. For that authority.

When you actually started to fight

For that computer piece that she was holding,

You should have very clearly demanded

For her to turn around and look,

And when she refused to do that,

You should have then told her that if she didn't look at you,

You were going to turn the computer off... Okay.

So you're taking control of the situation. That's true. Mm-hmm.

You do not need to fight for a steering wheel... Right.

Because this is what happens--

You're so angry with her by this stage... Mm-hmm.

That you've then given her an unrealistic discipline.

You've said, "you turn around. Otherwise you're gonna go to bed

Early every day this week..." Yeah.

"Because I'm so mad with you..." I heard myself say that.

"That I'm gonna put you to bed every day--"

It's monday when you said this.

Mm, she'd be lucky if that lasts till wednesday.

And then basically you've shown your child there and then... Right.

That you didn't mean what you said.

We need to concentrate more on our focus, definitely. Okay, it's a big-time focus.

Okay. Let's take a look at dad's tone. Get up. Eat your lunch.

I don't like hot dogs. Let go of her hot dog. Are you--are you years old?

[Laughs] no. Then stop it.

Do not throw food at the table.

[Landon] dad!

What did you just do with your body?

Identify when you're losing it. What did you just do?

Put my head down in my hands.

Your body language speaks absolute volumes.

"I'm angry because this is happening.

And you know what that's happening? I'm angry."

And when you see that,

You then go, "oh, i-i need to check myself here."

If you're aware of it... You can change it.

You can change it.

[Thud] [girl] oh, my gosh.

What was that? Why would you do that? [Kendall] my homework. Sorry.

No, I told you-- go up to your room.

You're not coming down here-- but you told me to bring it down!

I did not. I wanted you to show me

Because you said you were done. You're not.

Go back up to your room. Finish it. [Speaking indistinctly]

That was rude. Don't ever slam your books like that.

That was kind of dumb. What? What?

Wow. Sometimes you're losing it

And sometimes you're holding it together.

When you realize you need to vent it out,

Go out in the backyard and talk to yourself. You make decisions.

Am I gonna behave like this, or am I gonna behave like that? Okay.

And then come back in. It will help you with your tone.

So we're not done yet.

We've still got work to do, as you know. Yep, there's always work to do.

Okay? So let's get on and, uh, carry on with our work. [David and meshell] okay.

Thank you very much. Thanks.

Thank you, jo. Coming up on...

How can something so small be so intimidating?

Will dad tell his family how he really feels?

I guess the biggest question,

You know, is what kind of dad do I want to be?

When "supernanny" returns.

And now...

What's the best way to get a preteen

To spend less time in their room and more time with their family?

"A," keep the computer and tv in a common area of the home

Instead of in the bedroom,

"B," carve out family time and stick to it,

"C," give them an ultimatum--

If they don't spend time with the family,

They're not allowed to spend time with friends.

Find out the answer when we return.

And now...

What's the best way to get a preteen

To spend less time in their room and more time with their family?

"A," keep the computer and tv in a common area of the home

Instead of in the bedroom,

"B," carve out family time and stick to it,

"C," give them an ultimatum--

If they don't spend time with the family,

They're not allowed to spend time with friends.

The answer is "b," carve out family time and stick to it,

At least one night a week and on the weekend.

Allow your children to choose the event of that evening.

And most importantly, make it a priority--

The more you do, the more they'll like it.

♪♪♪♪♪

Dad has made a lot of progress

Keeping that temper under control.

However, would he be able to promise his family

That he could do so after I'm gone?

How can something so small be so intimidating? [Chuckles]

I'll leave you up here. All right.

I realize there's a lot of things I want to tell my family,

And there were a lot of things

That I probably wish I would have said a long time ago.

♪♪♪♪♪

You're all gathered here today, as a family,

Because dad has done something very special.

He gave you all a message.

All right. Are we all ready?

I'm so glad for this opportunity

To see me as you see me,

And I can tell you that...

I haven't been very happy

With the things that I've seen.

I guess the biggest question,

You know, is what kind of dad do I want to be?

All too often I'm very quick to jump to conclusions

Or to allow myself to become angry...

[Voice breaking] and I'm sorry.

I love you, each of you.

Kesley, how mature

And responsible you are.

And, kendall, I'm very proud of you,

And I'm sorry for butting heads with you all the time.

Meryn,

You're my little teddy bear.

Landon, I hope that I will have done a good enough job

That you will likewise

Be a good father to your own children.

And to my little ones, ainsley and avarie,

You are two of the very best little girls

In the whole world,

And I'm so proud of how you are growing up.

And I would like to tell my wife--

I only hope that one day soon,

I can become that husband

That you have always deserved.

I love you all.

[Landon fusses]

Any thoughts on what dad's had to say?

Anybody want to comment anything?

[Landon speaks indistinctly]

Did you need to hear what he said?

[Mouths word]yeah?

It was quite an emotional moment for the whole family,

But it was something I think we really needed to see,

That he really does care.

I think you did an absolutely fantastic job.

These kids learnt today, through example,

How they, too, can express their feelings

And be okay with whatever emotion they're feeling,

Because their dad did that today.

You know, I've got to tip my hat off to him.

♪♪♪♪♪

[Jo] jo jo's going now.

This is just a little bit of love. So...

[Laughs]

Excellent. Look at this.

I can now interact with my kids

Without having

This authoritarian, dictator-like rule over them.

Bye, kesley. Bye.

The best thing of having jo is that she's been able

To help our family with our problems. It's really nice.

Thank you so much. Thank you.

It's been such a great experience,

And it's given me that hope

That, um, my kids are gonna listen to me,

And I'm gonna be able to get through my days

And go to bed without all of these overwhelming feelings.

Jo has been a major blessing to our family.

[Girl] take care of us. [Meshell speaks indistinctly]

This family--

They have done all the hard work and the preparation

To maintain the change

That's happened over the last two weeks.

And for that, I wish them the best of luck.

♪♪♪♪♪