02x01 - Tieso Family

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NARRATOR: 'They're every parent's worst nightmare.'

You're gonna be sorry. GIRL SCREAMS

'Kids completely out of control...'

Give me the Kn*fe. CHILD SCREAMS

'..and taking over the household.' - I'm the boss!

'These families have reached the end of the road.'

How was I to know I was gonna have three kids in two years?

'They're in need of help.'

Shut up, everyone!

'They only have one alternative left.

'It's time to contact Nanny .'

PHONE RINGS

Hello, this is Nanny .

'We've gathered a team of world-class nannies

'from all over the globe.

'Each week, from Nanny Central,

'they will watch a video of a family in crisis...'

SHE SCREAMS

'..and decide which nanny is best suited to help.

'They will then have one week to take our families from living hell

'to a family bliss.'

- Give me my life back. - It's mine!

'Can these families be saved?'

I don't love you!

It's an emotional roller-coaster.

Unless you get this right, it's all gonna fall to pieces.

If you think you can do a better job, get on with it.

'Parents of America, help is on the way.'

ALL: Nanny's here!

Nanny's here!

'Tonight...'

BOY SCREAMS

'..Andrea and Joe Tieso's kids are so bad

'that their neighbours contacted Nanny .'

It was one of the Tieso kids in my foyer.

He just urinated.

I had to call Nanny .

'Control freak Mom

'and Wall Street Dad have found their three little angels

'bring out the devil in them.'

You are pissing me off. Get over here!

'Mom is desperate to find the way.'

It's hard when you don't really know what you're doing.

I can't go through this again.

'But Dad is asleep at the wheel.

'Can Nanny Deb get this family back on the right road?'

You undermine her, left and right.

Brandon, give me the Kn*fe.

'It's there goes the neighbourhood...'

- Give me the Kn*fe. - '..tonight, on Nanny .'

- JOE: Brandon. - ANDREA: Get dressed!

Get dressed. I'm so sick of this.

Stop it! HE SCREAMS

Cool it. You understand?

My name's Joe and I'm a financial analyst.

JOE: 'I've been married to my wife, Andrea, for years now.'

It's a pass to your rear end. Now, get over here!

My name's Andrea and I'm a stay-at-home mom.

'My family is chaotic.'

Come on. It's gotta come out of your hair, Andrew.

I want your work done.

I didn't call Nanny on my family, my neighbours did.

NEIGHBOUR: One day I came home from work

and it was one of the Tieso kids in my foyer.

He just urinated. It was an "accident".

Joe, come on out here and control your kids.

Joe and Andrea are just closed, they're out of touch.

They just don't realise how bad their kids are.

I had to call Nanny .

CHILDREN: Yay!

I wanna do things just right and it's hard to do that

when you don't know what you're doing.

I don't get much of a break.

It's just me trying to do it all.

This child, that child.

- Ow! - Hey, hey!

Ow!

What do you know?!

ANDREA: 'Brandon is my seven-year-old twin.'

He is very, very stubborn.

Brandon is a walking tornado.

Get into your room, get into your room.

ANDREA: 'He and I butt heads all the time.'

It is just like... that.

I've reached my limit.

'It's a love-hate relationship with him.'

Brandon!

But as far as the... the hate part,

I hate that we fight so much.

HE YELLS

Get upstairs.

JOE: 'Madison is a perfect little girl.'

She is a very artsy girl.

'My wife will refer to her being the invisible child.'

ANDREA: Madison fades into the woodwork

because I'm so exhausted from screaming at Brandon.

Andrew's the lucky guy that came along last.

Perhaps he's spoiled.

HE MOANS

ANDREA: 'He does hit.

'He screams, he yells and he runs

'and he starts getting into everything.'

And he puts me over the edge.

I am frustrated and tired of dealing with you.

I am a control freak.

'I want them to do what I want them to do

'cos I think I know what's best for them.'

I don't...

What are you doing up there? Come on.

What's the phone doing in here? PHONE BUZZES

BRANDON MOANS

Don't you punch him like that!

I wish I could just take a magic pill to let me calm down.

'They don't really know what to do, other than yell and scream.

I often wish my husband was around so he could deal with it,

because I just don't feel like I know what to do.

I don't know how to handle problems.

No. No!

No! No, open the door.

'My relationship with my children needs help.'

I don't know if other people think my kids' behaviour is bad,

but I can't deal with it.

Just get dressed!

Andrea is always putting gas on the fire.

Go play. Go play. HE MOANS

Ow!

She brings a lot of it on herself.

No... BOY SCREAMS

Did you guys brush your teeth?

I tell her, if you make every single thing a battle...

What do you have?

'..you're gonna have a lot more conflicts.'

Sit! You are pissing me off, pal.

I do wonder where I'm going wrong

because I do feel like I'm trying so hard.

Stop it, will you? Oh, my God!

'Stop!'

BRANDON SHOUTS

'Don't you punch him like that!'

HE SCREAMS

So what do you think, ladies?

That mother is too stressed out.

Judging by that red face,

Mum is about to blow her top.

Those poor children. Mum's completely out of control.

And Dad's just out of "it".

Brilliant observation, ladies.

I think Deborah is the right nanny for the Tieso family.

Her good cheer is just what they need.

DEB: 'From what I've seen, the Tiesos are in dire need of help.

'Mum is over-anxious and overwhelmed by her three children.'

It's gotta come out of your hair.

Want your work done.

'While Dad is simply out of touch.'

Oh, yeah, OK!

'Leaving the kids to run wild.'

- Ow! - Hey, hey!

- Brandon. I'll get him. - Don't wreck my plant!

ANDREA: Don't punch him in the stomach like that.

He was the one who grabbed my neck!

DEB: 'This family is so bad

'that the neighbours contacted Nanny .

'So I'll be spending a week in suburban Boston,

'nursing the Tiesos back to health.'

No-one saw it!

So how do you know that it was me?

The Tieso family is going to need more than just a spoonful of sugar.

DOORBELL RINGS

The nanny's here!

- Hello! - Hello!

How are you? My name's Andrea.

Nice to meet you, Andrea. I'm Nanny Deb.

Come on in. Look who's here.

Hello.

- JOE: Hi. - Hi.

- Your name is Deb? - Uh-huh.

- Yay! - Nice to meet you.

Hi, I'm Joe. Nice to meet you, Nanny Deb.

- Joe, nice to meet you. - Nice to meet you.

The plan for today is,

you have to pretend that I'm invisible.

So I want you guys to carry on as though I'm not even here.

Act normal. That way, I'll be able to come up with a plan

to make the family work better.

- Yep. - OK? Is that all right, Mr Andrew?

DEB: 'As the day begins, Dad heads off to work,

'leaving Mum alone with the children.'

Brandon! Where are you?

'Straight away, it's clear

'that Mum has her hands full with these three little ones.'

BRANDON SHOUTS

'Especially Brandon.

'He seems to fight with his mother at every turn.'

Come back, and I want you... Oh!

'I'm starting to feel like I'm ringside at a wrestling match.'

- Mm! - Cool it.

Stop it!

HE YELLS

Start again. I don't... Stop it.

'After only minutes, it's painfully obvious

'that mother and son have major problems.'

Don't break your lamp.

I don't wanna go through this. I hate this.

- Shut up! - I hate this.

Don't say "shut up" to me. I'm going back downstairs.

You go back downstairs and you be quiet.

'Rather than working with Brandon's problem,

'Mum storms off.

'Andrea must stop running from her children

'and start listening to them.'

Oh, he's gonna pay the price. I'm making breakfast, I don't care.

'Andrea is obviously a very anxious person,

'and while she runs around frantically...'

'..she disregards her children,

'especially Madison...'

- Read another book before school. - '..who is completely ignored.'

Just because you're easy-going, doesn't mean you should be ignored.

Brandon!

'Everything is a struggle for Andrea.'

I'm sick of this. Every morning we go through this disaster.

'She continually fights with Brandon,

'rather than getting to the root of the problem.'

Put your shirt on.

ANDREA: When things start getting really hairy,

I just don't really know what to do, other than yell and scream.

Just get dressed!

It's just me trying to do it all, I do feel quite overwhelmed.

'She must listen to her kids and nurture them,

'if she's ever going to meet their emotional needs.'

No!

Brandon's trying to get whatever he can for himself.

No!

DEB: 'Brandon has become very selfish.

'When he acts out and he gets loud, he gets the attention.'

- I asked first. - Hands off, please.

Back off.

- Can I please have the other half? - Step back.

- May I please have the other half? - Step back, Brandon.

Thank you.

Brandon is like the centre of the universe,

and everything spins and revolves around him.

'I can already see that this is going to be a long day.

'As soon as the breakfast ordeal is over,

'it's time for Dad to come home for a gourmet meal,

'where Mum had prepared from scratch her own spaghetti sauce.'

Cooking is providing love to your family, I guess, and...

I've been here six hours, and Mum spent three of them in the kitchen.

I'm gonna have you sit over there.

- No, here. - You need to be away...

You're not sitting at the head of the table.

Yes, I am!

Mum obviously has a lot of perfectionism issues.

Andrea, I don't care where he sits.

I don't like him sitting there, he thinks he's Mr Boss.

'And when Mum tries to take her seat at the head of the table,

'her husband undermines her.'

Just blows her off.

'This all goes on in front of the children.'

She likes to keep things formal and I'm kind of informal.

No!

'Brandon speaks so disrespectfully to his parents.'

He shoves them and pushes them aside.

There absolutely is no attempt at discipline whatsoever.

This family is like a Norman Rockwell painting gone wrong.

HE SPITS

'Brandon's bad behaviour gives him what he wants,

'attention, be it good or bad.

'And this sends a powerful message to his younger brother, Andy,

'on how to get what you want.'

I have it on too high.

'Mum was back at it.

'This time, she was making marshmallow treats,

'and Andy wanted to eat all the marshmallows.'

HE SCREAMS

'Instead of getting down to Andrew's level,

'she tries to carry on cooking,

'and Andrew gets terribly upset.'

HE SCREAMS

'As the day wears on, things go from bad to worse.'

Brandon! He's got a sharp Kn*fe out there

and he's running around with it.

Brandon grabbed a kitchen Kn*fe

and went running out into the neighbourhood.

Hey, I need that sharp Kn*fe, please. Brandon!

Hey! Stop and give me the Kn*fe.

Don't run with the Kn*fe!

'And while Mum is busy chasing Brandon around...'

Brandon, cool it.

Here you go.

'..Dad is in the backyard, playing with the dogs.'

Go ahead.

'These parents are not only on separate pages...'

Give me the Kn*fe, will you?

'..they aren't even in the same book.'

I don't want him running with that sharp Kn*fe.

- Did he give it back to you? - Finally.

After he decided to call me a name and give me a kick.

I don't want him to get hurt with the Kn*fe.

He wouldn't.

DEB: Dad, on the opposite end,

thinks that, "Hey, it's OK.

"He's a boy. What's the big deal? It's just a Kn*fe."

Hey.

My reaction is, let him do it.

'You know, he's doing what he wants to.'

ANDREA: What?

DEB: My fears about this family

were absolutely made valid and clear.

Andrea was just getting a little excited about it,

and I thought she was overreacting.

This family is on the extreme end of the parenting spectrum.

Brandon. Brandon!

Brandon!

'I have seen more than enough for one day.

'With the kids in bed, it's time to have some stern words

'with Mum and Dad.'

I wanted to talk to you about some of the things I've seen today.

The thing I'm really concerned about is that, in this household,

it's black or it's white.

It's one extreme to another.

- I don't want him to get hurt. - He wouldn't.

You undermine her, left and right.

The message the children get are...

..we don't have to listen to her, we don't have to respect her.

We don't have to do anything.

And if we manipulate, he will give us what we want.

That is wrong.

Wrong.

'There isn't anything in between, we don't meet in the middle.'

And it causes a lot of conflict. The kids are confused.

The thing I'm really concerned about is that these children,

and it really does hurt me to say it,

are not having their emotional needs met.

That's very, very detrimental.

ANDREA: 'She said that their emotional needs were not being met.'

What did I do wrong? Where have I been all these years?

'I felt so badly about that.'

While I'm here this week,

that's what my focus is going to be on.

If you don't get them to a place where they are emotionally healthy,

then these children are gonna just go crazy.

JOE: 'Coming in and assessing the kids' emotional needs,'

I thought was outrageous.

'I thought that was stepping over the line.'

The real work starts tomorrow,

but if I can get you to make the commitment,

I promise you we can do it.

- OK? - Yeah.

I just wanna see these kids

grow up to be really healthy, incredible people.

- We appreciate that help. - We're going to make it work.

Deb's diagnosis at the end of the day

nearly put me over the edge.

'I don't know if I can do this.'

I just hope it all works out.

DEB: 'After a day of observation,

'the problems in the Tieso house are clear.

'No-one listens to each other at all.

'So today, I'm giving the family their own set of rules.'

Ladies and gentlemen, your presence is required

for the new house rules.

Thank you.

Thank you!

OK, we have the big rule book.

The first rule in this house is,

"Communicate with words, not hands."

HE YELLS

Don't you punch him like that!

JOE: 'That's gonna be tough for the kids, especially the boys.'

Us too, cos we're always grabbing and pulling.

- Start doing it... now. - No!

And that leads to this one,

"Use your listening ears."

Mum's gonna listen to you.

Dad's gonna listen to you.

But you guys have to listen to Mum and Dad too.

ANDREA: 'It made me realise that I'm not always listening to my kids.'

I just say the same thing over and over again.

My nanny bag always comes with some surprises inside.

What is this?

- Cookie! - Special nanny cookies.

JOE: 'When the cookies came out, the kids thought,

'"This nanny's great, she's gonna feed us."'

Then when they found out that they were fake,

I think they were like, "Oh, what do we have to do to get 'em?"

Each cookie is a reward.

It's worth minutes' television,

or minutes of video games.

There's a downside to it.

Whenever you do something that's inappropriate,

you lose 'em.

That was a pretty ingenious way

of getting the kids to do what they're supposed to.

Because sometimes it's really hard to remember to listen,

I have something that might help. JOE LAUGHS

You can actually put on your listening ears.

You wanna listen?

There you go. He's got his listening ears on.

The listening ears coming out of the bag was really cute.

Are you listening? Are you all wearing your listening ears?

This is my first opportunity to work with the Tiesos.

Hopefully, the kids will do their best to earn their cookies.

Oh, I heard about folding clothes.

Do you have any socks that need matching?

Cos I know three-year-olds are really good

at finding matching socks.

Helping with the laundry is a chore

that all three children can be part of.

Nanny, guess whose these are.

Yours. If there's a hole in 'em,

I'd have said definitely yours.

'But instead, Andrew decides it's time to read a book.

'I heard a ruckus and came in to see Andrew kicking Brandon.'

Uh! What are you doing?

'So I had no choice but to penalise Andrew.'

Do we kick people with our wonderful strong legs? No.

That's a cookie.

Yeah, lose a cookie.

'As soon as Andrew knows he's lost a cookie,

'he rushes down to his jar in the kitchen,

'where the day's first fit ensues.'

Ah, whoa, whoa! Easy, honey.

'Andrew must learn that kicking is no longer acceptable behaviour.'

OK. You lost two and you only had one.

So now you're minus one.

'As soon as I try to get the cookie from Andrew,

'the fit becomes a full-on tantrum.'

Thank you, Andrew, for picking up the cookie

that accidentally fell to the floor, and for handing it...

Excuse me, I'm using my hands.

Because that's not appropriate.

Andrew, I'm going to let you go,

but I need you to look at me.

ANDREA: 'I just felt so weird.

'This woman who's here to help us

'is now dealing with this tantrum-y three-year-old.'

And I wanna just go over there and grab him

and throw him up in his room and not go through the motions.

I'm going to take you in a quiet room so we can talk,

if you can't look at me here.

HE SCREAMS Let's go.

Excuse me.

HE SCREAMS

It was just embarrassing and sad and...

I can't describe it.

I can see you're upset. I understand.

I... HE SCREAMS LOUDER

I know you want me to let you go,

but I need you to look at me

and I need you to hand me the cookie.

ANDREA: 'Andrew was hitting and kicking Nanny Deb

'when she was just trying to get him to look at her.'

Feet are not for kicking, Andy.

That's the deal.

DEB: I think Andy's tantrums are very extreme

because in this family, the children lash out physically

and no consequences are given.

Excellent. That's exactly right, Maddie.

Maddie, that's very good. You're a very nice sister.

DEB: I think it was important that Maddie and Brandon witnessed me

dealing with Andy's tantrum because they knew,

by the way I handled Andy, that I meant business.

Your choice is going to be,

you can either give Nanny Deb the cookie

and have a fun day and do more things to earn more cookies,

or you can choose to go sit on the stairs

and have Nanny Deb take the cookie away.

'Andy had never been disciplined before.

'For me, it was important

'that the child have a learning experience from this.'

No!

OK, I'm gonna say, this is the choice.

I was afraid he was gonna rip her glasses or pull her hair out,

or something stupid like that.

Things he would do to me.

HE SCREAMS LOUDLY

No.

No. You do not kick me.

Are you going to give me the cookie?

OK, then I take it.

And you're going on the stairs.

JOE: We should not have done that, but it still made you feel uneasy

because you wanted to run up

and grab your child, give him a hug and say it's all right.

DEB: Three minutes on the stairs.

The whole timeout thing, I feel, is stupid.

I mean, you try to tell these kids to timeout, it's like,

what am I gonna do, strap 'em in? I can't do that.

OK, everybody needs to walk away.

Every time he comes off, he gets put back on.

HE SCREAMS

Three minutes on the stairs.

Walk away. Every time he comes off, you put him back on.

DEB: Andrew lost a cookie and he started having a tantrum.

Andy knows the louder he gets,

the more he gets away with.

He immediately got up and ran off,

so I went upstairs after him and he closed himself

in his sister's room.

You wanna stay in there for three minutes?

If you won't stay on the stairs and you wanna stay in there,

you stay in there for three minutes.

You will.

He's staying in there for three minutes.

I told him he's not allowed out now.

But he's away from the situation for a full three minutes.

- OK. - He's calmed himself down.

When he comes out, he has to be spoken to about

what was appropriate, and what was not.

It's very odd to be sitting there as a parent and seeing someone else

trying to discipline your child in front of you.

Andy, your three minutes is up,

so when you make the choice to come outside, you can now.

He didn't want to come out. He wasn't ready.

So we wanted to open the door and check that he was OK.

We had to talk about what happened and resolve the issue.

I know that you know what you did was not OK.

But it's over now, and we're gonna go and do something fun.

For me, it was important that the child

have a learning experience from this.

And it wasn't a punishment.

No-one can see except us, OK?

I just don't want you to be up here

and be sad and upset by yourself.

OK?

You just wanna take... OK.

I felt that she really knows how to handle kids.

'She was very logical, very calm and reasonable.'

I just wanna make sure you're OK, all right?

OK, good. Thank you.

It was important that he was feeling calm and OK and secure

before he took a nap.

Ah... Oh!

Somebody has stinky feet!

'He laughed, he smiled, I knew he was fine.'

Oh, that one's worse!

'Andy did not win the battle over the cookie...'

Have a nice rest.

'..but he also wasn't physically punished.

'He understood what happened and he was ready to move on.

'Now that the kids are beginning to understand

'their roles in this house,

'it's time to deal with the main problem in this family,

'the parents.

'Andrea must start tending to her children's emotional needs,

'and Joe absolutely must stop undermining his wife.'

Why? What?

I need you to empty the dishwasher.

That's actually a two-cookie one, I think.

DEB: 'Mum knows the rules.'

The rule is, you earn a cookie.

Well, Dad immediately undermined Mum and said, "I think it's worth two."

That's a lot.

What are you talking about? No. It's one cookie.

DEB: 'Meanwhile, Brandon's listening to the parents argue

'over how many cookies, knowing that Dad will win again.'

And therefore, what Mum says... doesn't matter.

It's one cookie.

- BRANDON: Two cookies. - It's one cookie.

DEB: 'Bit my tongue.'

And then, it came again.

Get to the bathroom.

B-U-T-T is a bathroom word.

I start to feel, "Gee, does any of what I feel

"is important in this house matter?

"Or am I just a complete nutcase who asks too much of her kids?"

Andrea could be just a little less confrontational.

Can we just come out of the windowsill?

JOE: He's good.

DEB: Dad undermines Mum, left and right.

It just continues on and on and on.

And it's painful to watch.

- How do you want your egg? - I don't want egg.

I want muffin.

I made only ten muffins, so I was afraid,

if you start eating them before we sat down,

there wouldn't be enough muffins for everybody else.

Let him have these first.

What I'm saying is, he's gonna wanna eat four muffins

and there isn't enough for everybody else.

Let the kids eat what they want.

JOE: 'She has a different parenting style than I do.

'Mine is very lackadaisical, laid back.'

I think it's a guy thing.

DEB: 'Dad is always trying to overcompensate.

'He's the easy-going, good guy dad,

'and Mum's the one that's tough and difficult and strict.'

But by undermining her constantly,

he's making the children listen to her and respect her

less and less and less.

Did you show Daddy how you washed your face today?

- He washed his face. - He did?

- Yeah, we washed it together. - All right.

ANDREA: Yeah, give it a few minutes, honey.

What I say, what I think, what I do, it means nothing.

DEB: Andrea, this week, has worked very hard,

but it doesn't matter

because if Joe continues to undermine her,

this whole thing will unravel.

I had to drive it home to Joe

that he needed to change now.

Hello, Nanny.

I wanna have a little talk to you.

There are a couple of things that I think are very important to address

before the situation can be solved.

- This is a problem. - JOE: Mm-hm.

Not an insurmountable one.

It's not an insurmountable one,

but had I not come now,

three years from now it would've been.

And you know why?

Because you undermine her, left and right.

I'm starting to get panicked about it.

Because her relationship with Brandon is a big, big problem.

And when you override her, it's crucifying that relationship.

It's gotta stop.

Nanny, I'm percent trying to not undermine her any more.

This morning, it happened.

It happened when she says the dishwasher is one cookie

and you say, "No, it's a big job, it's two."

You're undermining exactly what she's just said.

Back her up and then later say to her,

"To me, that's not a big deal. Why is it a big deal to you?"

We discussed this that, you know,

certain tasks for children at this age are large.

Have those conversations when the kids are in bed.

Have those conversations when the kids are out at school.

But do not have those conversations in front of the children.

'Nanny Deb said I shouldn't be undermining Andrea

'in front of the kids because that was causing them

'to feel lack of respect for Andrea.'

And that was kind of, you know...

..forward of her.

The kids know that you are gonna override what she says,

so why the heck should they listen to her?

Brandon's attitude towards his mother is disgusting...

..because he knows he can get away with it.

This kid is gonna start stealing from you.

He's gonna drink and drive.

Because he can.

If she says, "Don't climb in the windowsill,"

it means, don't climb in the windowsill.

It means, you back her up.

Then later say to her, "To me, that's not a big deal.

"Why is it a big deal to you?"

I guess I...

I always worry that she...

It might be a free rein to take control again.

You know, I won't undermine her in everything like that,

but you've gotta make sure that it's gotta come to the middle.

And I, quite honestly,

see that she's getting that.

She's trying, and that is all you can ask from another person,

is that she's making that effort, and I do believe

that you wanna make this work and you don't want it all your way.

Oh, gosh, no, cos my way isn't the right way.

- No. I have to... - JOE: And I understand...

I don't want to screw with my kids' heads any more.

It's just all because I am this uptight person.

I don't wanna put it on them any more.

JOE: 'I started to think about the last couple days,

'and you know what? She's right.'

I am undermining what Andrea says.

And I realise that has to stop.

I can do it cold turkey, I'm not worried about it.

ANDREA LAUGHS

Seriously, my personality is, like...

ANDREA: Oh, yes!

"I can do it cold turkey." I don't know about that.

You might think you can, and I'm gonna trust you.

You gotta trust me.

- All right, come here. - Thank you very much.

Thank you. Thank you for being open-minded.

- No. I appreciate it, believe me. - I really appreciate that.

ANDREA: 'I definitely think he got it.'

I don't think he's used to having anybody tell him

that he has a responsibility in the family to, you know,

get it straight.

'Cos I certainly don't.'

- It's gonna change. - Thank God!

Thank goodness.

- OK? - Mm-hm.

- All right. - Thank you so much.

- Thank you. - Keep talking, guys.

- Thank you very much. - Thank you.

You're welcome.

Now that Mum and Dad are on the same page,

I'm sending Dad away,

so that Mum can finally handle her problem with Brandon

one on one.

Yes, Maddie?

Yes.

Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to grab your hand.

DEB: As Mum and the kids start making the cookies,

Mum is fair to all.

But Brandon doesn't want to share with his little brother whatsoever.

You messed it up.

No, no, Andy! Look what the...

- Don't use your hands. - You're not getting it.

That's your first warning.

Andrea was very, very contained

and trying to make it all equal and fair,

and Brandon was having none of it.

Hey, mix it like this, Brandon.

- What? - Mix it up.

BRANDON: No, you aren't.

Well, too bad!

- ANDREA: You have to take turns. - No!

Stop that.

ANDREW WAILS

DEB: When Brandon feels as though his needs aren't being met,

Brandon gets louder and louder and more out of control.

- He's spoiled, OK? - Put the bowl down.

- No, he's spoiled. - Put the bowl down.

He can't get his way!

OK? He can't always get his way.

I was getting very nervous at that point,

that it was starting to fall apart and I had lost control completely.

- Put the bowl down, please. - No.

- That's the first... - No, it isn't.

Put the bowl down. ANDREW SCREAMS

ANDREA: 'I just didn't even know what to do at that point.'

Things were just starting to go really bad.

ANDREW WAILS Open the door, please.

I don't like the idea of food being in the bathroom.

- He's not getting his way. - Yeah, he is.

DEB: This was not about cookie dough. This was about the fact that

Brandon's emotional needs are not being met.

ANDREW SCREAMS

Brandon, you need to put the bowl down.

- No. - Right now.

'Brandon just drove me over the edge again.'

I was ready to just...

I couldn't. I just was like, "Ah!"

You know how close I am to just...?

ANDREW SCREAMS

Please come down those stairs.

OK? He's spoiled.

He gets everything he wants.

OK? He's spoiled.

DEB: Brandon feels that his emotional needs are not being met.

Until we resolve this issue, we can't move ahead.

He's spoiled!

He gets everything he wants when we're at school

and we only get lunch. - Hey.

He goes everywhere, he goes to the beach and the zoo.

It wasn't that Brandon was jealous of Andy, although he was.

What he was jealous of

was Andy's relationship with their mother.

She loves Andy more.

You feel like she loves Andy more?

Yes, because she gets everything for him.

OK, Mum. Guess what?

You have to address that

because your child shouldn't feel like

you love one more than the other.

It's not true, though.

He feels that way, whether it's true or not.

If he feels that way, then to him, it is true.

Brandon feels as though I simply just don't love him

as much as I love Andy, and I can understand where he's coming from.

'It's been hard to get close to him

'because it's been such a battle dealing with him every day.'

How do you feel about that?

I feel horrible. That's probably why we're all here.

I just feel very badly,

that I made you feel like you weren't loved as well as Andy.

Maybe that's why you act out.

He's sad. He's sad, Andrea.

He's sad and it hurts.

And he needs to feel loved.

The behaviour is inappropriate, but the child is not.

- We love you very much. - Mm-hm.

But I don't feel that's enough, when I say that to you at night.

I mean, I do say "I love you" to him every day,

but I don't think I was backing it up with how I was,

you know, treating him, or giving him the attention that he needed.

I'm really sorry you felt so left out, honey.

- OK. - I didn't mean for that to happen.

Seeing Andrea close with Brandon, just in a short time, was nice.

I make mistakes, too.

So I have to learn a different way, honey.

Mm-hm.

I've never really been able to communicate

love and affection to anybody,

and it did feel easier at that point,

because I knew I'd nothing left to lose

because I'd already gone as low as you can go.

There was only one way up.

DEB: My last few days with the family were particularly rewarding.

Mum really began bonding with Brandon.

ANDREA: Wild parsley, yes!

DEB: She realised that if she spent less time cooking,

it meant she could spend more time with the family.

And especially more time with Madison.

Come here. I'll give you a big hug. I love you very much, Maddie.

JOE: Let's take one cookie out.

ANDREA: You want three?

DEB: 'Andy came to an understanding of the cookie system...'

OK. All right, here, you have to put your listening ears on.

'..and everybody learned the importance of listening.

'But before I leave this family,

'I really need to see Dad support Mum.'

You guys sit on the sides,

me and Mum get to sit at the head of the table.

It was the first time I'd seen this family

sit down together as a team.

And actually work well together.

Then Brandon decided to...

test the situation.

MADISON: Why?

- JOE: Throwing your food is... - First warning.

Please stop playing with the spaghetti

and stuffing it all in your mouth.

DEB: 'Brandon was being rude and disrespectful and not listening.'

You're done. You go up to your room and stay.

- Come on. - What?

Because you... You were showing disrespect for your mother.

DEB: Dad was backing Mum up percent.

It was really, really amazing, and I think Brandon was shocked.

Cos Brandon just took off upstairs and went to his timeout,

no questions asked.

JOE: Brandon knows who the boss is now.

Whereas, before, he thought he was the boss.

You gotta give me ten!

We're trying.

With Mum and Dad now working as a team,

the Tieso family are on the right path.

And all that's left to do is say goodbye.

Tieso family!

Will you come meet me in the living room?

Come on!

- Come on. - Hey!

She's got her uniform on.

I want to talk to you guys because...

..it's time for me to go home...

..and say goodbye to everyone.

'It's been a very emotional week.

'A week of dealing with a lot of issues,

'of trying to connect a family on an emotional level.

It's been a week of dealing with tantrums,

a week of dealing with empowering Mum.

'And it's been a really rewarding week,

'I think, for everyone involved.'

All right, so...

It's been quite a week

because you really made a huge effort this week.

It makes my job a lot easier.

So I'm really, really happy.

And I hope that the outcome a year from now

is even better than the outcome today.

So I just want to say thank you to you, for everything.

Thank you.

And for making my job a lot easier.

You made my job a lot easier!

ANDREA: 'I don't feel quite so lost.'

And I'm really glad that it was pointed out to me, you know,

the right way to go about things with my children

because you can only do it once with them. You can't go back.

- Thank you to you, sir. - Thank you.

I couldn't have done it without you.

You've been really great, and the turnaround in this family

has been amazing.

And the support that you've given to Andrea

in the last couple of days

has made all the difference in the world.

And so I want to say that,

I think you've set a really, really incredible example

to these two boys,

on how to be not only a good father...

..but really a good husband.

- Thank you. - So thank you very much.

- Thank you. - I'm gonna miss you all so much.

JOE: I was sceptical at first, but after being with her for a week

and seeing how important it is to her that she focus on the family,

I'm just grateful that she came and she helped Andrea so much,

and helped me and the kids.

It's a once-in-a-lifetime experience.

- Keep being good, guys. - Bye-bye, Nanny.

Bye, lots of love.

- Bye-bye, Nanny Deb. - I'll speak to you soon.

You stay in touch with me, OK?

- Bye! - Bye!

Goodbye.

My week with the Tiesos was extremely fulfilling.

Andrea and Joe have great hearts,

and now that the kids are getting to see that side of them,

they're well on their way to happy, healthy childhoods.

Nanny Deb has a surprise for you, guys.

We know Mum likes to cook, right?

Self-Praise Pudding.

You need two cups of self-esteem,

a heart of self-love and a clove of pride.

We also have...

Which one is mine?

There's one just for...

..Andy!

A little apron!

♪ And you lift it Through the loop... ♪

JOE: See?

- MADISON: Anything else? - That's it.