♪ Well, I paid a visit
♪ While it's possible I missed it ♪
♪ It seemed different yet exactly the same ♪
♪ Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
♪Till further notice♪
♪ Till further notice
♪I'm in between♪
♪ I'm in between
♪From where I'm standing♪
♪ From where I'm standing
♪ My grass is green
♪ Someone once told me the grass is much greener ♪
♪ On the other side.
Well, it's official.
Ginger's suffering from a severe case
of post-traumatic summer love disorder.
You're right, guys.
I have totally got Sasha on the brain.
In fact, I just spent all of American History
writing him another letter.
Ginger, Sasha has not returned
any of your letters or phone calls.
Maybe it's time for me to wake up
and smell the rejection, huh?
Hello!
The only reason he's been incommunicado
is because with boys
it's out of sight, out of mind.
That makes total sense, Dodie.
I just need to go visit him.
Except there's no way my mom's going to drive me
two and a half hours to Heathered Hills.
I forgot the geographically- challenged part.
[all sigh]
To think of all the cool sites
we could be hacking into on these beauties
but instead we got to prepare for Gordo's test.
Heard it's going to be a tough one, too.
You want some more of that? Yes!
And what do we have over here?
Challenge on the Nile
and suffice it to say
you haven't lived until you've played it.
Computer games?
How sedentary lifestyle can you get?
As it so happens
this little game is getting me ready for the real thing.
You obviously haven't heard the news.
Which is?
The Griplings are purchasing a ten percent stake
in a real Egyptian tomb.
You mean, like, with a mummy and everything?
Of course.
It's in the purchase contract.
How much for a slice of the action?
That depends on the size of said slice.
What would, say, one percent of your ten percent run us?
Ten thousand.
Dollars?
No, muffins.
Oh.
Of course, dollars.
It's an ancient Egyptian burial tomb.
Those things don't grow on trees, you know.
If they did, anyone could purchase one
but my guess is
anyone can't.
Yeah, well, we'll just see about that.
[chuckling]
Of course we will.
Cheerio, gents.
Well, so much for being part owner of a wrapped-up dead guy.
Says who?
Carl, how are we going to make $,?
Like everyone else on the planet, Hoods.
We get jobs.
The Lucky Goat Middle Marching Band
has been accepted into the national competition
which is being held at and sponsored by
Heathered Hills!
Sasha's school!
[screaming]
It's a sign!
You think Sasha.
Tah-dah! Way to get to Sasha's school.
But I'd have to join the band.
Uh, which is filled with
so many talented and unique people.
Pulled the nose up on that plane
at the last minute, didn't you?
Sorry, Macie.
That's right.
Macie, you're in the band.
Why didn't you tell us about this?
I was forced to take an indefinite leave of absence.
No lung power for the clarinet.
Why don't you just stow away on the bus?
Or you can take the less dramatic
but entirely legal route and try out.
But I don't even know how to hold a brass instrument
much less play one.
Right. And they're pretty particular about that in band.
Hello! You're talking to the president
of the ethnic cooking club here.
In other words
why let a lack of talent and ability stand in your way?
Hm, this is the biggest thing that's ever happened
to Lucky Goat Middle Marching Band
and now you want to join?
Just when we're practically semi-famous?
I promise to put my heart and soul into playing
any instrument you give me.
I'm not just asking, Mr. Bauer, I'm begging.
Please, please, please let me go on this trip.
I must say, Ginger, I'm moved by your passion
but the fact remains
there aren't any openings in the band.
Mr. Bauer!
Serious bummer alert.
I got to drop band
until I bring my grades up
competition or no competition.
Milty's orders.
You're going to have to find
someone else to play the extra-grande triangle.
Well, what with the pressure of the looming competition...
[sighs]
I guess this is your lucky day.
Oh, yes!
What's an extra-grande triangle?
HOODSEY: "Communication skills necessary
computer-friendly, six-figure salary."
Carl, I am all over this job.
Uh, hate to punch a hole in your resume, Hoods
but you're forgetting three little letters:
MBA.
But check out all these ads for telephone psychics.
"Absolutely no experience necessary
"melodic voice a plus.
$ an hour, plus commission."
We're in!
Not exactly. You got to be .
But you know what all these ads say to me, Hoods?
We need fake IDs?
It means that there are some serious bucks
to be made in foreseeing the future
and if we cut out the middle man
we can make even more.
I don't know, Carl.
Isn't being a psychic kind of a gift?
I mean, you have to be born with it.
I have many talents, Hoods.
Who's to say that being a psychic isn't one of them?
There's only one way to find out.
Well, can't argue with that logic.
We'll only be in Heathered Hills for one day next week
so when Sasha sees me step off that bus
I need to look the best I have ever looked
in my whole entire life.
And rhinestones are so now.
Ginger, I hate to be the one to point this out
but there's a regulation uniform you have to wear.
I do?She does?
I mean, couldn't they make an exception for, well, summer love?
No exceptions.
That's why they're regulation.
Uh, Ginger, have you seen the uniform?
Bad?
Epaulets, gold braid, hair-flattening hat.
It's kind of retro-bellhop, if you get my meaning.
Don't you be dissin' the band uniform, girlfriend.
Think this will help improve the uniform?
Not a chance.
[sighs]
[giggles]
Well, if I have to look a little dorky to be with Sasha
it'll be worth it.
Momster.
Carl.
What's all this Prophet for Profit nonsense?
You're always telling me to do something constructive
so here I am.
I'm starting my own business.
I was thinking more along the lines of a paper route.
Pittance.
So you're planning on taking money from unsuspecting kids
in exchange for a line of bologna.
You know, it's negative thinking like that
that threatens to stunt
my emotional and spiritual growth, Lola.
Are you sure you want that responsibility?
[groans]
For the record, I'm not fighting you on this
only because I'm in a good mood.
Yeah!
[brass band playing]
[music stops]
Sorry I'm... late.
I'm not late.
For the record, all the truly dedicated band members
are here at least a half hour early.
Sorry I'm on time.
Ginger? Why are you here?
Especially when you don't have to be.
It's a long story.
I'm already bored.
Attention, music lovers, this is Ginger Foutley.
She's filling in for Elliot
and has promised to help us gain national glory.
Be right back.
Got to get the triangle out of storage.
So you're the substitute extra-grande triangle player.
Yeah, I'm really excited.
Ohh...
Now, let me remind all of you
there's only one week left until the competition
so I expect you to do nothing but
sleep and breathe Lucky Goat Middle Marching Band!
[cheering]
[grunting]
Tell me, how much is Foutley ripping us off for this time?
The Amazing Carlini will answer three questions
for a mere cents.
[chuckles]
This should be amusing.
...
...
!
You know, we didn't mean cents literally.
That's not what the sign says.
All right, what's your three questions, Brando?
I want to know, um
where Mr. Licorice hid his parka
if Stewart really put me up for adoption on the Internet
and what Mommy and Daddy are getting me for Christmas.
In the lettuce crisper, yes
and even I don't squeal on Santa.
Next!
Whoa. Thanks, Carl.
You're a bad little monkey.
Yes, you are!
Somebody needs a time-out!
[chittering]
Three questions, eh?
Unless you want to fork over another Washington.
No, thanks.
I'm just here to chitter, chortle
and if you're really good, guffaw.
My questions are as follows:
Are you faking your powers
and if so, are you aware you can be sued for damages
for giving false predictions?
Negative, not going to happen
and you have one more question.
Oh, uh...
Is our attic haunted?
Not just the attic
but also the downstairs powder room
and part of the garage.
[chuckles]
Making Blake miserable
has got to be worth banking a little bad karma.
Next!
Ginger.
I know, I know. Posture.
[groans]
And please remember it's of paramount importance
that you hit the triangle
just as the crescendo peaks
or you'll throw off the entire piece.
Yeah, right.
Heads up, Ginger.
The extra-grande triangle is an important instrument
and if you're going to continue to mock it
maybe you should think twice about
going on the band trip tomorrow.
[tapping]
[band playing]
Katie, I'm sorry I've been disrespectful
of this whole band thing.
I, uh, kind of had an ulterior motive for joining.
A guy?
How did you know?
You've been holding on to that locket for dear life.
He goes to Heathered Hills.
But listen, I know how important this competition is
so I'm going to really work hard, promise.
[horn honking]
I'll save you a seat on the bus tomorrow.
Better leave room for the extra-grande triangle too.
[laughter]
Yes. No way. Medium build with dark, wavy hair
and a scorpion tattoo. Next.
[bell dings]
No. The space between your bed and headboard...
and a week from Sunday.
Next.
I haven't asked any questions yet.
Oh, sorry. My mistake.
Long day.
Okay, question number one--
did I ace Mrs. Gordon's history test today?
Without a doubt.
Sweet.
That's all I needed to know, psychic dude.
Oh, and, uh...
my brother will pummel you if you're lying, okay?
Right-o.
Terrence was the last one.
Did you just tell him
he's going to get an "A" on a test?
[yawns]
I calls 'em how I sees 'em.
Carl, he's already repeated our grade twice
and Gordo's history test was wicked hard.
And your point is?
You may have just got his hopes up, is all.
New money smell.
You look... adorable?
MIRANDA: Tell her the truth.
We look like rejects fromThe Nutcracker.
But it's the price we pay for our... art.
Good luck with Sasha, Ginger.
And remember to mentally record
every juicy detail.
I won't say good luck at the competition
'cause good luck means bad luck.
So, well, I'll just say
"break a leg."
I just realized
I am only two and a half hours away from seeing Sasha!
Traffic permitting.
[chanting]: Hi-de-ho, hi-de-hin
We're gonna put the sass in brass
[all chanting]: Hi-de-ho, hi-de-hin
We're gonna to put the sass in brass...
That doesn't even rhyme!
Careful, Ginger.
It's like you've got the two of you
going steady already.
Can't help it.
[reggae playing]
[heavy metal playing]
[gasps]
Hi-de-ho, hi-de-hin
We're gonna put the sass in...
MIRANDA: Give it a rest, people.
We're here.
I have a serious case of the butterflies.
Mine are threatening to come up.
Are you okay, Ginger?
Yeah, fine.
I don't think Sasha's here anyway.
Sasha?
Camp Caprice Sasha?
"There were copper-colored ponies" Sasha?
That's why you joined?
Uh-huh.
Well, I guess a guy
is a good enough reason to join the band.
At least no one threatened
to pull your future car privileges
if you didn't.
So where is this this mystery man?
Well, he does go to this school
so he's got to be around here somewhere.
And I'm going to go find him.
Hold on there, lassie.
I want everyone to head over to the football field
for a quick practice
before we break for foodstuffs.
But all the other bands get to rest
before the competition.
Ah, but we're not all the other bands, are we, kids?
KIDS: No!
Sasha?
Oh, hey... Ginger.
What are you doing here?
I'm with the band.
I mean, I'm in the band.
Oh, right. Cool.
Um, oh... hey, I'm sorry I didn't return your letters.
It's just that I, uh...
Don't worry about it.
You're probably really busy
or you didn't have stamps
envelopes, paper.
It doesn't really matter.
I mean, we're both here now.
Ginger, we're waiting on you to rehearse.
Duty calls.
Hey, can we meet up later?
Uh... yeah.
How about in the lunchroom? Um, around
Sure.
Great.
See you then.
MRS. GORDON: To say that I'm appalled by the grades
on yesterday's history test
would be the understatement of the century.
Here's the way it works, children.
I teach class, you listen--
I give out homework assignments, you do them--
I schedule a test, you study.
It's a very simple process.
Which obviously, you have yet to master
since the majority of you got Cs
and only one of you received an "A."
Of all the A's on all the tests...
Nicely done, Mr. Foutley.
Feel free to ignore my patronizing comments.
[groans]
You guys prefer
a triple-strength mega-noogie
or a nuclear wedgie?
I'm going to go out on a limb here, Hoods
and make one last prediction.
I see foreign soil in our immediate future.
[band playing march]
[music stops]
Too little, too late, Ginger.
Obviously, your head's not in the game.
I think we can all see that.
Get it together.Duh.
And those of us who have been here
for the long haul have worked
our tails off to get here.
And you, my dear, should thank your lucky stars
you got to hop on the train
just as it was pulling into the big time.
I know, sir.
Problem is, it came too easily for you.
I handed you the extra-grande triangle
as though I was handing you a loaf of bread
or a box of highlighters.
How could you possibly
have known that the triangle
is the backbone of this orchestra.
Oh, I am so sorry, Mr. Blauer.
Everybody, it won't happen again.
[rapid footsteps]
[giggling]
I almost didn't find you.
Yeah. How's the, uh, whole band thing going?
Great.
Great.
I need to...How was your...?
No, go ahead.
Uh, okay.
So, see, first of all
since you and I didn't make up
until the last day of camp
I never got the chance to explain
why I was such a jerk all summer.
Right before I left for Camp Caprice
my girlfriend Clover dumped me for a sosh.
You know the type--
rich, popular, perfect teeth.
Mm-hmm.
And when I heard that obnoxious Courtney girl
talking about your rich, popular boyfriend Ian
I went ballistic.
It was nothing personal.
Oh, water under the bridge.
All part of a relationship, you know?
Yeah, about the relationship part...
GIRL: Sasha!
There you are.
[voices mingling]: Sasha... Sasha... Sasha...
Sasha... Sasha...
Hey, whatcha doing
way back there hidden behind
all these band dorks?
No offense.
Uh, Ginger, this is Clover.
Of course it is.
See, we got back...
Oh, boy.
You know, I've got to get ready for the competition.
Great seeing you again
and nice meeting you, Heather.
It's Clover.
Ginger...
Good luck.
Not supposed to say "good luck."
[voice breaking]: It means bad luck.
[chanting]: Foutley is a fake, Foutley is a fake
Foutley is a fake...
What are we going to do?
Nothing's coming to me
but I'm sure it will.
I know I have this psychic thing.
Carl, wake up and smell the coffee percolating.
It's time to give this psychic junk a rest.
You don't have a gift.
So now we've got to give these people their money back
or we won't live long enough
to laugh about this when we're old.
All right, all right.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
You're lame.
[sobbing]
Girlfriend...
He has a girlfriend, Ginger.
What did you expect?
It was totally obvious.
You're hours away from home, holed up in some bathroom
feeling like...
A fool?
An extra-grande fool?
Miranda.
I thought I was alone.
You are...
in your choice to over-accessorize.
I'd lose the locket, but that's just me.
I know I should.
I guess I'm just having a little trouble letting it go.
Yeah, well, music can be a great healer and all...
so let's go be in band.
Since this mess with Sasha is out of your hands
why not focus on a challenge
you can actually win?
The... extra- grande triangle?
That's what I'm talking about.
[chuckling]
Oh, thanks, Miranda.
I know you didn't mean to
but you actually cheered me up.
And the joy I feel for having done so
is positively overwhelming.
[band playing march intro]
[playing march]
[cheering]
Well, that's all she wrote.
Hey, we still got a dollar.
Must mean I toldsomeone's fortune right.
One out of a hundred?
It's called luck, Carl.
I mean...
Hoods, I'm having another vision.
We got a couple of visitors coming.
You're never going to let go of this, are you?
What are you doing?
Right after my psychic vision
I just remembered who the dollar belonged to.
TERRENCE: Open up!
Terrence!
My and my brother decided for you.
It's going to be nuclear wedgies.
GINGER: I suppose you could say I went on this trip
to find something I lost
but I ended up almost losing something I found.
[chanting] Hi-de-ho, hi-de-hin
We went and put the sass in brass
Hi-de-ho, hi-de-hin...
MIRANDA: Oh, please, not again.
[Miranda groans]
GINGER: It's a long story.
MIRANDA: I'm already bored.